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What Are You Teaching Your Kids? · Effective Communication

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  Speaker 1: And now, effective communication with Phil Zeller, CEO, Dale Carnegie,
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  Speaker 1: Southwest Michigan.
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  Speaker 2: Just rub some dirt in it. You'll be fine.
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  Speaker 1: Hey, if it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger.
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  Speaker 2: Didn't you hear that before? Suck it up, buttercup. Life
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  Speaker 2: ain't fair. Who's heard these things before? You know what?
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  Speaker 1: These are classic things. Every Gen Xer says, hey, you're
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  Speaker 1: talking about my childhood there. I grew up with every
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  Speaker 1: one of those sayings, and you probably have a lot
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  Speaker 1: more that you could share with me, don't you? Every
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  Speaker 1: Gen Xer knows it. It was constantly, suck it up, buttercup,
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  Speaker 1: life ain't fair. And, you know, it's amazing how we
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  Speaker 1: take these things on in our life that we learn
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  Speaker 1: and how we look at life and everybody goes through it.
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  Speaker 1: Phil Zeller, Effective Communication. It's an honor and a privilege to.
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  Speaker 2: Be with you here today.
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  Speaker 1: You've been talking to a lot of families lately and
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  Speaker 1: a lot of parents, and we've been talking about good
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  Speaker 1: parenting advice and And a conversation we had recently is
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  Speaker 1: what would you teach your kids?
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  Speaker 2: What would you teach your kids or what have you
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  Speaker 2: taught your kids?
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  Speaker 1: And what would you like to see in your kids
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  Speaker 1: as they grow and they get older and then they
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  Speaker 1: become adults? What would you like to see for them?
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  Speaker 1: And some people are really simple. It's just like I
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  Speaker 1: like to see them being a loving person. Some people
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  Speaker 1: say I like to be able to see them take
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  Speaker 1: care of themselves. Some other people have grandiose ideas and
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  Speaker 1: they were between. And I'll never forget a moment that
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  Speaker 1: I had. a moment that shaped my behavior and the
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  Speaker 1: way that I parented. My son was two years old.
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  Speaker 1: He was sitting at the dining room table with my
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  Speaker 1: dad in my house. My dad came to visit. He
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  Speaker 1: was hanging out for the week, spending time with my children.
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  Speaker 1: I had a two-year-old infant at the time. And my
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  Speaker 1: two-year-old was in his booster seat at the table. And
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  Speaker 1: I just got my dad a cup of coffee, and
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  Speaker 1: I got my son a bowl of cereal, and they're
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  Speaker 1: sitting at the table. I said, I'll be right back
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  Speaker 1: in a moment. I got to go in the other
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  Speaker 1: room and grab something. And I go in the other
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  Speaker 1: room and then all of a sudden I hear my
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  Speaker 1: dad screaming, screaming. And I'm like, this can't be good.
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  Speaker 1: And any young parent who hears their parent in the
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  Speaker 1: room with their child screaming knows exactly what I'm talking about.
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  Speaker 1: So I take off in a dead sprint from the
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  Speaker 1: other side of the house to get into the kitchen.
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  Speaker 1: I'm in there like in two seconds, right? And there
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  Speaker 1: it is. He's yelling at my son because my son
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  Speaker 1: knocked over his cereal bowl and there was milk all
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  Speaker 1: over the table.
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  Speaker 2: And I said, dad, what's going on? He goes, look
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  Speaker 2: at what he did. .
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  Speaker 1: Hold
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  Speaker 1: the phone. Dad, in this house, we don't cry over
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  Speaker 1: spilt milk is what I said.
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  Speaker 2: And he looks at me.
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  Speaker 1: I said, dad, I'll say it again. We don't cry
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  Speaker 1: over spilled milk.
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  Speaker 2: He goes, yeah, yeah, but, yeah, yeah, yeah, but he
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  Speaker 2: spilled it. Dad, he's two years old.
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  Speaker 1: Things like this are going to happen with kids. If
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  Speaker 1: you have animals or kids, Dad, you had five kids.
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  Speaker 1: Things are going to happen. You know what we do
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  Speaker 1: when we spill milk in this house? We go over
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  Speaker 1: and grab some paper towels and we come over and
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  Speaker 1: we clean it up. And if it's a bigger issue,
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  Speaker 1: we have a conversation about it. But we clean it
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  Speaker 1: up and we move on because we have so much
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  Speaker 1: more important things to do in our day than crying
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  Speaker 1: over spilt milk. And so my dad is like still
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  Speaker 1: wanting to have this conversation about he can't believe that
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  Speaker 1: a two-year-old would somehow.
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  Speaker 2: Tip over their cereal bowl by accident.
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  Speaker 1: And so I looked at my dad and I said, Dad,
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  Speaker 1: time is money. And we have more important things to
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  Speaker 1: do today than sit here and just get into it
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  Speaker 1: over this triviality of milk being spilled. Not going to happen.
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  Speaker 1: So maybe it was because I said time is money.
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  Speaker 1: I caught my dad's attention and he stopped and he
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  Speaker 1: looked at me and it was time to move on.
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  Speaker 1: But ultimately, I look at those moments in my life
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  Speaker 1: and being a parent and I ask myself, what is
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  Speaker 1: it that I truly wanted my kids to learn? And
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  Speaker 1: they're adults now. And what did I want them to learn? Well,
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  Speaker 1: I wanted them to be confident. I wanted them to
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  Speaker 1: be competent, and I wanted them to learn the golden
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  Speaker 1: rule and live by it. Do unto others. Be the
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  Speaker 1: best version of yourself. Do the very best you can
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  Speaker 1: in any situation. And the old saying is, the apple
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  Speaker 1: doesn't fall far from the tree. So if you look
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  Speaker 1: at your kids and you realize they got some behaviors, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: guess where they got them from?
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  Speaker 2: Look in the mirror.
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  Speaker 1: People say, I didn't teach my kid to do that.
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  Speaker 2: I said, well, you know what? You didn't teach him
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  Speaker 2: to do it.
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  Speaker 1: So tell me, what did you teach your kid to do?
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  Speaker 1: And think about the next time you're around your children,
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  Speaker 1: because it's amazing. You'll see your behaviors in them. You'll
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  Speaker 1: see it come out in them. You know exactly what
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  Speaker 1: I'm talking about. You'll see it. And think about what
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  Speaker 1: behavior do you want to see in them? And are
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  Speaker 1: you exemplifying that for yourself as the parent, as the leader,
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  Speaker 1: as the teacher? So if you pay attention to it,
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  Speaker 1: you'll see it. So focus on the good in life,
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  Speaker 1: not the negative life, and you'll set the example for
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  Speaker 1: your kids. Now go make it happen.