Latest / The Hauraki Big Show / THE DISCLAIMER: Jase's New Mate
Transcript
- 0:01Speaker 1: For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show Podcast,
- 0:06Speaker 1: get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok.
- 0:10Speaker 2: Or Raw Dog It.
- 0:12Speaker 1: Four to seven every weekday on Radio Hodake.
- 0:16Speaker 2: Oh, g'day, fellas. Backbone.
- 0:18Speaker 3: Hello.
- 0:19Speaker 2: Yeah, man.
- 0:20Speaker 3: Fucking hell, man.
- 0:22Speaker 1: What's happened?
- 0:22Speaker 3: 13 hours.
- 0:23Speaker 1: Is that how much you slept?
- 0:25Speaker 3: That's how long I slept last night.
- 0:27Speaker 1: Wow.
- 0:27Speaker 3: How fucked is that?
- 0:28Speaker 1: That's really good, man.
- 0:29Speaker 2: Why is it fucked?
- 0:30Speaker 1: It's great. 13.
- 0:32Speaker 4: I went to bed at 9 and, like, crashed out
- 0:34Speaker 4: and woke up at 10 because I won't set an alarm.
- 0:36Speaker 3: I'll probably wake up at, like, 8.
- 0:37Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 0:38Speaker 3: Wake up at 10. Yeah.
- 0:39Speaker 2: You generally sleep pretty well as a rule, though, don't you?
- 0:41Speaker 2: You're a 10-hourer.
- 0:44Speaker 1: I wish.
- 0:44Speaker 3: No, actually, I don't wish. I wish I could just be, like,
- 0:46Speaker 3: a 4-hourer.
- 0:48Speaker 1: No, you don't. Sleeping's one of the great joys of
- 0:51Speaker 1: the world.
- 0:52Speaker 3: But you know what I mean.
- 0:53Speaker 2: Depends on, like, what your conscious hours are like, I think.
- 0:55Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 0:55Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, true.
- 0:57Speaker 2: The worse your conscious hours are, the more sleep decries it.
- 1:01Speaker 4: But imagine if you could go to sleep every night
- 1:03Speaker 4: at 2 a.m.
- 1:05Speaker 3: Wake up at 6, fully rested.
- 1:08Speaker 1: Well, there are people that can do that.
- 1:11Speaker 2: I know.
- 1:11Speaker 1: Of course, David Bowie was famous for basically never sleeping.
- 1:16Speaker 2: More famous for his music.
- 1:17Speaker 1: More famous for his music, but he was also very
- 1:21Speaker 1: well known for the fact that he didn't really sleep
- 1:23Speaker 1: because he considered it a waste of time.
- 1:25Speaker 3: But drugs, though.
- 1:25Speaker 2: Yeah, but I think it's all well and good that
- 1:28Speaker 2: you consider it a waste of time, but if you're
- 1:29Speaker 2: someone that needs a lot of sleep, then you don't
- 1:32Speaker 2: think like that. But if you're someone that doesn't need
- 1:35Speaker 2: much sleep, you're like, why are people wasting their time? Mm-hmm.
- 1:37Speaker 2: Some people only need a couple of yowls there.
- 1:39Speaker 3: My wife needs so much sleep.
- 1:40Speaker 2: Leonardo da Vinci, I was going to say DiCaprio, he
- 1:43Speaker 2: used to run a 15-minute sleep session. Right, okay. So
- 1:48Speaker 2: he'd just power nap for 15 minutes at a time.
- 1:50Speaker 2: And he swore by it.
- 1:51Speaker 1: Da Vinci.
- 1:52Speaker 2: But he was off his fucking head. Yeah, he was.
- 1:55Speaker 2: And then it's like, okay, well, let's start trying that.
- 1:56Speaker 2: So you can't try that because you're not off your head.
- 1:59Speaker 3: Well, that makes sense because Da Vinci did a lot
- 2:01Speaker 3: of shit in his life.
- 2:02Speaker 2: He was very busy.
- 2:02Speaker 4: And it's like, oh, that was Da Vinci. This was
- 2:04Speaker 4: Da Vinci. He spent a year living here doing this.
- 2:06Speaker 4: And it's like, how the fuck did he do all that?
- 2:08Speaker 1: You know what I notice? And maybe it's a generational thing.
- 2:11Speaker 1: My daughter's like a little afternoon nap. You know, they'd
- 2:15Speaker 1: nod off in the afternoon. Right. And my wife would
- 2:18Speaker 1: be kind of laughing.
- 2:19Speaker 2: They got it too good, man.
- 2:21Speaker 1: We were like, what the fuck? Well, to be fair,
- 2:23Speaker 1: both of them were working very hard.
- 2:25Speaker 3: There you go.
- 2:26Speaker 1: And so maybe it was just because they were just
- 2:28Speaker 1: worn out. But, yeah, that was quite fascinating because I
- 2:32Speaker 1: can't do the nana naps, much to my chagrin.
- 2:34Speaker 2: So he used to do this as Da Vinci, not already, Jay. Yes.
- 2:37Speaker 2: 20 minutes of sleep every four hours. Six naps per
- 2:41Speaker 2: 24-hour period. Total sleep just two hours a day. So
- 2:44Speaker 2: he had waking time of 22 hours per day. And apparently, yeah,
- 2:49Speaker 2: that was his method. But that wouldn't work.
- 2:52Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I mean, you'd have to train your body
- 2:55Speaker 1: for that, wouldn't you? You'd have to fucking... I think
- 2:59Speaker 1: it's funny, isn't it?
- 2:59Speaker 2: Because you go, well, if you go to sleep and
- 3:02Speaker 2: then you wake up, surely that's how much sleep you needed.
- 3:05Speaker 3: Yes, 100%.
- 3:06Speaker 2: So if you go to sleep, you wake up, then
- 3:08Speaker 2: you roll over and go back to sleep because you're
- 3:10Speaker 2: a lazy fucker. or you've got nothing on for the day,
- 3:13Speaker 2: then you're overdoing it. But I think if you go
- 3:15Speaker 2: to sleep and wake up, that's the right amount.
- 3:16Speaker 1: Well, I put this to you guys the other day,
- 3:19Speaker 1: which was a kind of change in philosophy for me sleep-wise,
- 3:22Speaker 1: which was exactly that, Mogi, which is, okay, I've woken up,
- 3:26Speaker 1: it's five, that's obviously all the sleep my body needs.
- 3:30Speaker 2: Yes.
- 3:30Speaker 1: So I might as well just get up now.
- 3:32Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 3:32Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Because I'm one of those
- 3:34Speaker 1: people that once I wake up, she's all over, over.
- 3:38Speaker 1: This brilliant mind clicks into gear.
- 3:40Speaker 2: Yeah, does it? Douche, douche, douche. Starts worrying about shit.
- 3:43Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 3:43Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 3:43Speaker 1: Yeah. The Hodaki Big Show, weekdays from 4 on Radio Hodaki.
- 3:50Speaker 2: You know how good the Hodaki Big Show podcast is? Yeah,
- 3:55Speaker 2: I love those fellas.
- 3:57Speaker 1: Backbone.
- 3:57Speaker 2: Yeah, backbone. You get it. You've got to get around
- 4:00Speaker 2: the live radio show.
- 4:02Speaker 1: Oh, you?
- 4:02Speaker 2: When's that? Four to seven weekdays on Radio Hodaki and iHeartRadio.
- 4:08Speaker 1: Backbone.
- 4:10Speaker 2: Nice.
- 4:11Speaker 1: The Hodaki Big Show podcast.
- 4:13Speaker 2: Tooey, old Tooey, mate.
- 4:16Speaker 4: I love that I've gone away for two weeks and
- 4:18Speaker 4: come back and the Tui's still fucking with Mogi.
- 4:20Speaker 2: Oh, it's going to be the whole, it's going to
- 4:22Speaker 2: be months.
- 4:24Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 4:24Speaker 2: Months of it. Yes.
- 4:26Speaker 1: But what were you going to say? You woke up
- 4:27Speaker 1: this morning. Oh, was it just about the Tui? Oh,
- 4:29Speaker 1: with the Tui.
- 4:30Speaker 2: Yeah. But I managed to get back to sleep. A
- 4:32Speaker 2: little trick I've learned, Keezy, we'll talk about it on
- 4:34Speaker 2: the show.
- 4:34Speaker 1: Did you beat off?
- 4:36Speaker 2: That's a good idea, but no. I went outside and
- 4:38Speaker 2: beat off at the Tui, and it was disgusting.
- 4:43Speaker 1: He'll try anything.
- 4:44Speaker 2: And disappointed.
- 4:46Speaker 1: Is that it? Yeah.
- 4:47Speaker 2: That's what it said to me in Tui language.
- 4:49Speaker 1: Is that your best shot, is it?
- 4:51Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 4:51Speaker 2: Yes.
- 4:52Speaker 3: Well, you've got to try anything, right?
- 4:53Speaker 2: Well, you have to try everything.
- 4:54Speaker 3: And that was pretty near the top of the list, though.
- 4:56Speaker 2: That was right. That's all I got. That's the whole
- 4:58Speaker 2: list exhausted. Yeah.
- 5:00Speaker 1: I spent about an hour.
- 5:03Speaker 2: Eight loads? Eight loads.
- 5:05Speaker 1: Yeah, eight loads, because I'm capable of that nowadays.
- 5:10Speaker 3: I'm sorry, I don't think even back in the day,
- 5:11Speaker 3: eight loads.
- 5:13Speaker 1: Oh, back in the day, Keezy.
- 5:14Speaker 3: So within how long?
- 5:15Speaker 2: A couple of hours.
- 5:17Speaker 1: A couple of hours.
- 5:19Speaker 3: Fuck off.
- 5:21Speaker 1: Damn. But it's also happened on, I've noticed a fella.
- 5:26Speaker 1: I've noticed a fella.
- 5:27Speaker 2: Oh, have you?
- 5:28Speaker 1: And, you know, at AOTS Square, there's a little park there.
- 5:32Speaker 1: And I've become fascinated by this guy who I've noticed
- 5:38Speaker 1: in my periphery quite often, and he just sits in
- 5:41Speaker 1: the park. And he's probably about– 50-ish?
- 5:48Speaker 2: About my age.
- 5:50Speaker 1: No, but a little bit older than you. He's got
- 5:52Speaker 1: a beard, but he looks pretty, you know, he's not homeless.
- 6:01Speaker 2: What a great compliment.
- 6:02Speaker 3: But he looks a wee bit rugged.
- 6:05Speaker 2: Yeah. He could be if he's not careful.
- 6:07Speaker 1: No, he looks relatively kept together, I think I'd describe.
- 6:12Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 6:13Speaker 1: And I've noticed him, and I noticed him on Saturday
- 6:16Speaker 1: as well, he just sits in the park all day
- 6:20Speaker 1: and just chills out and doesn't do anything. And then
- 6:26Speaker 1: I walked past him and I saw him again today
- 6:28Speaker 1: just sitting in the park just looking.
- 6:30Speaker 2: He might be dead.
- 6:32Speaker 1: No, well, he's moved, so he's definitely not dead.
- 6:35Speaker 3: Well, people could be bringing him out every morning and
- 6:37Speaker 3: reclothing him.
- 6:38Speaker 2: Weekend at Bernie's still.
- 6:39Speaker 1: Well, true, they could be.
- 6:41Speaker 3: Let's see how long this dead guy can live.
- 6:42Speaker 2: It's a lot of effort just to fuck with Woody J.
- 6:44Speaker 1: I'm finding him very fascinating because I'm like, what's going
- 6:47Speaker 1: on there? Because there's an aura, too, of sadness about him.
- 6:52Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. Projecting much?
- 6:55Speaker 1: Like he's just– there's something about him. But also nothing
- 7:01Speaker 1: threatening or anything. He's just very– like pondering life, going
- 7:07Speaker 1: what happened?
- 7:08Speaker 2: He'll be there for a while.
- 7:09Speaker 1: What happened?
- 7:10Speaker 3: You're up in your apartment looking down at that.
- 7:12Speaker 1: No, no. I walk down to the square and he's
- 7:15Speaker 1: always there.
- 7:16Speaker 4: Because I'm picturing like this guy that you're describing– is
- 7:20Speaker 4: obsessed with this random dude in this hat and all
- 7:23Speaker 4: black suit.
- 7:23Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 7:24Speaker 4: Who comes down to this square every day and just
- 7:27Speaker 4: sort of sits there.
- 7:28Speaker 2: Just hanging off his vape.
- 7:29Speaker 3: And looking at nothing except for vaping.
- 7:31Speaker 1: Yes.
- 7:31Speaker 3: And he's coming down to watch you.
- 7:33Speaker 1: Well, yeah, maybe, maybe.
- 7:34Speaker 3: And every day he's like, shit, there he is again.
- 7:36Speaker 2: There's that guy.
- 7:37Speaker 3: And you're thinking, oh my God.
- 7:39Speaker 2: He just exudes a sense of sadness. A grief.
- 7:42Speaker 3: He's thinking, that guy's exuding happiness. As he's projecting.
- 7:46Speaker 1: It's just, I don't know. He's just caught my attention.
- 7:48Speaker 1: And now, you know when it's like, Say your partner's
- 7:51Speaker 1: going to have a baby. All of a sudden you
- 7:54Speaker 1: start noticing babies everywhere.
- 7:56Speaker 3: I don't know what that's like.
- 7:57Speaker 1: Well, not yet.
- 7:58Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 7:59Speaker 1: But is it going to be this show or tomorrow
- 8:02Speaker 1: that you talk about that?
- 8:03Speaker 3: No, today. We'll announce it today. Let's do that at
- 8:06Speaker 3: the start of the show.
- 8:08Speaker 1: Yeah, he's just caught my attention and now I see
- 8:10Speaker 1: him all the time. Yeah. It's interesting.
- 8:12Speaker 3: Do you reckon you'll ever chat to him?
- 8:14Speaker 1: I'm tempted to. I feel like that with a lot
- 8:17Speaker 1: of people I see on the street, actually, sitting down
- 8:20Speaker 1: and going, what's going on, man?
- 8:21Speaker 3: What would you do if you finally.
- 8:22Speaker 2: It's like talking to... No, I won't say that.
- 8:26Speaker 3: What if you finally talk to him and he's just like,
- 8:28Speaker 3: fuck off, cut!
- 8:29Speaker 1: Well, fair enough.
- 8:31Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 8:31Speaker 1: Fair enough.
- 8:32Speaker 2: Won't be the first time.
- 8:33Speaker 3: No, it wouldn't be.
- 8:34Speaker 1: That would be a letdown, though. So it would be like, oh... Yeah,
- 8:38Speaker 1: I'd be disappointed because I thought he seems chill.
- 8:41Speaker 2: Yeah, right. I spoke to someone who's given up the vape, Jase. Oh, yes.
- 8:47Speaker 2: And really struggling with it, really struggling with it. And
- 8:49Speaker 2: then they read old mate Alan Carr, even though I
- 8:52Speaker 2: think he's dead, somehow he's managed to write a how
- 8:55Speaker 2: to give up vaping book.
- 8:57Speaker 1: Has he really?
- 8:58Speaker 2: And apparently that's helped significantly.
- 9:01Speaker 1: Right.
- 9:01Speaker 2: Isn't that interesting? Yes. Because this guy was hardcore on
- 9:04Speaker 2: the vape. Right. Right.
- 9:06Speaker 1: Do I know him?
- 9:07Speaker 2: Yeah, you do. And apparently it's helped a lot. Although
- 9:10Speaker 2: it doesn't seem to have. Yeah. It's stressful, you know? Yes.
- 9:15Speaker 3: Yes. Fucking hell. So he's the guy that wrote the
- 9:18Speaker 3: cigarette book, eh?
- 9:19Speaker 1: Yes.
- 9:20Speaker 2: Got to get on to that. I got to get
- 9:21Speaker 2: on to that.
- 9:21Speaker 1: Oh, incidentally, speaking of not, is it the British comedian,
- 9:26Speaker 1: Alan Carr?
- 9:27Speaker 3: Yeah, the gay fella?
- 9:28Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 9:28Speaker 3: He's the man.
- 9:29Speaker 1: I actually ended up watching, because my daughter's convinced me,
- 9:33Speaker 1: that show you were talking about. No, not trade us one.
- 9:36Speaker 1: They were trying to make each other laugh.
- 9:38Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
- 9:39Speaker 1: It's actually very entertaining.
- 9:40Speaker 2: Good, eh?
- 9:41Speaker 1: Yeah, it was very funny. Yeah. Bob Mortimer was guilty
- 9:45Speaker 1: of that.
- 9:45Speaker 2: I think that's cheating. Yeah, I think so. Making all
- 9:48Speaker 2: these facial expressions to stop yourself laughing. It's like, well, no, no, no.
- 9:51Speaker 1: Well, especially when they kick, the series I watch, they
- 9:54Speaker 1: kick people out for a smile. Bob Mortimer was doing
- 9:57Speaker 1: that face all the time. And it's like, well, that's
- 10:00Speaker 1: got to be disqualifying.
- 10:01Speaker 3: But they've got to get, what, eight episodes out or
- 10:03Speaker 3: whatever it is.
- 10:03Speaker 2: It's true. Yes. All shot in an afternoon.
- 10:06Speaker 3: Which is a fucking great idea for a TV show.
- 10:08Speaker 2: Not bad.
- 10:08Speaker 1: It's a really good idea.
- 10:10Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 10:10Speaker 3: Studio cast.
- 10:11Speaker 1: Do you think we could do that in New Zealand? Yes.
- 10:13Speaker 2: Do you think we have the talent? I think we
- 10:14Speaker 2: will do it.
- 10:15Speaker 1: All right.
- 10:16Speaker 2: I think so.
- 10:17Speaker 1: Yeah, that would be good.
- 10:18Speaker 2: Mad not to. I'd be on that. Well, if you're
- 10:19Speaker 2: taking on Taskmaster, that costs a fortune. Then why wouldn't
- 10:22Speaker 2: you do this? It costs you jack shit. Yes. Outside
- 10:25Speaker 2: of the obvious.
- 10:27Speaker 4: They should send like a British comedian to host.
- 10:29Speaker 1: It, though. Because there would be two shows that I,
- 10:32Speaker 1: because I don't like panel shows as a rule. There'd
- 10:34Speaker 1: be two shows I'd be willing to do in New Zealand.
- 10:37Speaker 1: Would I Lie to You.
- 10:39Speaker 3: Love that show.
- 10:40Speaker 2: Would I Lie to You.
- 10:41Speaker 3: With David Mitchell and Lee Mack. And then you've got
- 10:45Speaker 3: Rob Brydon.
- 10:45Speaker 1: In the middle there.
- 10:46Speaker 2: I could tell you.
- 10:48Speaker 1: I think we did do that, didn't we?
- 10:50Speaker 3: Yeah, it didn't go very well.
- 10:51Speaker 1: No. And the last one, I think I could do
- 10:55Speaker 1: that one. Last one.
- 10:57Speaker 3: You'd be pretty good at that, actually.
- 10:58Speaker 1: Yeah, I think so. Be pretty straight. Drop some clangers
- 11:04Speaker 1: in there.
- 11:04Speaker 3: You'd be good at that.
- 11:06Speaker 2: Yeah, man. Where does it go, fellas? Where does it go?
- 11:11Speaker 4: Hey, listen to the big show, four to seven weekdays,
- 11:14Speaker 4: Radio Hodaki.
- 11:16Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.