Latest / The Uplifters / The Knot Principle

Transcript

The Knot Principle · The Uplifters

• 0:05
  Hey,
• 0:06
  uplifters,
• 0:06
  you know how much I love experimenting and trying new things.
• 0:09
  It's how I build courage capital every day by testing and
• 0:13
  learning and discovering
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_03: what really works for me.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_03: That's why I'm so excited to introduce you to join the tribe.
• 0:21
  The founder is a total uplifter who lovingly curates products
• 0:26
  from emerging
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_03: founders with seriously inspiring stories.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_03: I've tried so many of the Join the Tribe products at this point,
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_03: and I've discovered so many favorites.
• 0:36
  But what I love most of all is that more than half of the
• 0:39
  products on the Join the
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_03: Tribe website support a woman who's building something meaningful.
• 0:46
  It's really like getting to be a part of someone's uplifting
• 0:49
  journey while
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_03: discovering great stuff for yourself.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_03: And they do these terrific surprise boxes,
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_03: which make perfect effortless gifts for literally anyone on your list.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_03: Because I mean, who doesn't love a little surprise in the mail?
• 1:05
  Check out Join the Tribe and use code UPLIFTER20 for 20% off
• 1:11
  the website for your first order.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_03: It's jointhetribe.com, T-R-Y-B.com.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_03: Welcome to the Uplifters podcast,
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_03: where every week I talk to a woman in midlife who is doing big,
• 1:25
  brave things and who proves to us that it is not too late for
• 1:29
  us to do the same.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_03: Today,
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_03: I'm talking to Deborah Koenigsberger,
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_03: the founder and CEO of Hearts of Gold,
• 1:36
  an organization that has been breaking the cycle of
• 1:38
  homelessness for single mothers
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_03: and their children since 1994.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_03: In over 30 years, they have touched the lives of nearly 40,000 people.
• 1:50
  But of course,
• 1:51
  Debra had no idea what she was embarking on when she started
• 1:55
  this journey.
• 1:56
  She just saw a problem that needed a solution to put one foot
• 2:02
  in front of the other
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_03: and the impact grew.
• 2:06
  So if you are feeling overwhelmed by the scale of the systemic
• 2:12
  issues in our
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_03: society right now,
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_03: this episode is for you.
• 2:16
  If you're feeling like maybe your life is lacking a sense of
• 2:20
  purpose or direction,
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_03: this episode is for you.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_03: And if you just want some really practical wisdom and inspiration today,
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_03: I promise you're gonna get so much of it from this conversation.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_03: Debra, thank you so much for being here today.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, Francis.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you so much for having me today.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_03: I'm excited to be here.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_03: I'm so thrilled to chat with you today.
• 2:43
  So just give us a little bit of background on the genesis of
• 2:47
  Hearts of Gold.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: So Hearts of Gold actually started,
• 2:51
  there were three things that touched my life that made me want
• 2:54
  to do this work.
• 2:55
  One is my drug of choice is Stevie Wonder,
• 2:58
  and I take Stevie anywhere I can get him.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: So Stevie's lyrics,
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like I lived my life with Stevie Wonder's lyrics,
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: and I have since like a teenager,
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: you know?
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: And there's a song he wrote called Take the Tang Out that I,
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: in 1994,
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: when he did his conversation piece tour,
• 3:15
  I was there seven nights,
• 3:17
  third row,
• 3:17
  dead center,
• 3:18
  which I do every time we performed.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: I would,
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: I would go and sit on the sidewalk with the scalpers and be sure I got,
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: at least I could get tickets every night without paying scalper prices.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: So that song just pounded in my head and it really just,
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 3:33
  every evening I would sit there and I would listen to the
• 3:36
  lyrics of this song and I
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: was like,
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: wow.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: So that was one thing.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: The other thing was,
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: I live and work in a 10-block radius.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: And walking from home to work every day,
• 3:47
  there was this young girl that I noticed that she was sleeping
• 3:51
  in the park.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: We have a beautiful restored park here called Madison Square Park,
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: which is now gorgeous but was then not.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: It was a very scary place and very run down, a lot of drugs.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I didn't know why she was there.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: I finally got the nerve to approach her to ask her why she was there.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: Because at the time, I was a young mom.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: I had two little boys.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: And she basically said she'd been molested at home,
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: left home to go to shelter,
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: got molested in shelter,
• 4:18
  and decided that there was really nowhere to go and she was
• 4:21
  going to take a chance
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: down the street.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: which was for me so shocking, such a shock.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: I grew up in, I'm an immigrant child.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: I came here when I was a child.
• 4:28
  My parents were already from Jamaica and came here and made
• 4:33
  life for us and then
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: brought me and my brother.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I grew up always in community,
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: always an extended family,
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: always,
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: there was no world in which I would ever have
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: as my only option to go sleep on the dirt outside.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like,
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: there's a couch,
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: there's an arm,
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: there's a chair,
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: there's shelter,
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: there's somewhere that you can go that you feel safe and protected.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: So it took me a minute to kind of process what she was saying,
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: that she just,
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: that in her world,
• 5:00
  she's been on this earth for 19 years and nobody cared enough
• 5:03
  to save her from that
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: option.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: So that was the thing.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: And the third thing was,
• 5:08
  When my oldest son,
• 5:10
  who's now 33,
• 5:11
  was a baby,
• 5:12
  we were at a resort in Florida on vacation.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I met this makeup artist and we just started chatting.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I came out of the modeling industry.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: So she was like, have you been in the modeling industry?
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: So we had this conversation and connected.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: I said, yeah, I'm actually in fashion.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: And she said, well, I'm a makeup artist.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, she told me a little bit about what she was doing.
• 5:29
  And she's like,
• 5:30
  and I hope that,
• 5:31
  you know,
• 5:31
  something's going to happen for me soon.
• 5:33
  You know,
• 5:33
  cut to six months later,
• 5:34
  she was in Bergdorf and it was Bobby Brown.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: So when she came back to New York,
• 5:40
  she came and visited me at the store and she was talking to me
• 5:43
  about some work
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: she'd been doing,
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: volunteer.
• 5:46
  She had been volunteering at a shelter and making the moms feel
• 5:50
  really pretty and
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: beautiful,
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: whatever.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: And she was making them up and then giving them products.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I was curious.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know what shelter was.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: I literally did not know what shelter was.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: And it turns out
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: This shelter was between my home and my work.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: I lived at 32nd.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: The shelter was at 28th.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: My business was at 23rd Street.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: So I walked by this place every day and I had no idea.
• 6:13
  So we decided to kind of do a seminar together where I would
• 6:17
  talk to the moms about
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: what to wear when they got guests to go out.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: And Bobby would do her makeup and do her thing.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: So she invited me to do that, but I did.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: I discovered this shelter,
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: thanks to her,
• 6:26
  and realized that there were these women and children living
• 6:29
  there who were running
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: away from all kinds of life crises.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: Mostly domestic violence, but also just, you know, just abuse.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: You know, abuse and desperation.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: So...
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: Those three things happened almost like they were in tandem.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: It was incredible, like all of these things.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: And then Stevie saw on him saying,
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: you know what,
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: we can do something about this and be a king or some homeless one.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: We are one underneath the sun and, you know, to kind of get involved.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: So that kind of like just,
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: knocked me right into the middle of like,
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: OK,
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: I can do something about this.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: So I started my volunteer work there at that shelter.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: And the first,
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: so this happened in the summertime and in Christmastime,
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: I,
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 7:10
  asked to talk to the director for a while and then her
• 7:13
  explaining to me how a
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: shuffle works and what happens.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: And these moms are basically there with their kids that they have,
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: very few of them have someone,
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: if anyone,
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: and the someones that they have,
• 7:23
  it's not safe for them to be with those someones because
• 7:25
  whoever the abuser is can
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: fight,
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: right?
• 7:28
  They are in shelter with the goal of getting out of shelter
• 7:31
  into permanent housing
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: wherever they can and far away from whatever can occur in.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: So I said to her, okay, so what do you guys do for Christmas?
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: And she said,
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: well,
• 7:42
  we go to the $0.99 store and we get a lot of $0.99 toys and we
• 7:45
  throw them in a big
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: bag and the kids get a toy for Christmas.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: And for me,
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: that made no sense because Christmas is about $0.99 toys per child,
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: not one toy for $0.99.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I offered to sponsor Christmas that year.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: I talked to my husband and I said,
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: listen,
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: this year,
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: our two little boys,
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: honestly,
• 8:02
  by the time they're finished with the grandparents' gifts and
• 8:04
  the aunts and uncles,
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: they need not
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I said, this year, I really want to use the profits from my business.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: This is all in my community.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: You know, my community, my stores are successful.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, it gives us so much.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: I want to get all this back.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: So my dad put the shelter, 135 kids and their moms.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, it was just like, let's really be Christmas.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: So I got shopping bags, red shopping bags.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I got, you know, three toys for the kids and a stuffed animal.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: And each child had their bag.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I had gotten lists of all their names and their ages.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so we made these bags.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I invited us Santa Claus.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I catered the meal.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: And it was just like this amazing thing that was going on.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: And everybody was like so shocked.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: They were like, what is this?
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: I remember when I arrived with the truck,
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: the director came outside and she said,
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: Debra,
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: what is this?
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, this is Christmas.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: This is what Christmas is.
• 8:51
  You know,
• 8:52
  and so I did that and something happened during the course of
• 8:55
  that event.
• 8:57
  Santa would call up the child and they would go up to Santa
• 8:59
  Claus and Santa Claus
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: would take me back.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: And this one young girl went to show her mom what she got.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: She was so excited.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: And her mother's response just really kind of gutted me.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: Her mom was like, so what?
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: Ain't nobody ever done nothing for me.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: And so that kind of just stopped me in my tracks for a minute.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: And then I thought, whoa, not the response I was expecting.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: But,
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: so after the event,
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: I thought about it and I said,
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: well,
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: I guess what she was actually saying was,
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even know what that is.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I never had it.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: You know, for me, I'd had Christmas my whole life.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I didn't read Christmas anymore.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: Christmas went to my kids now.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it was just like what it was.
• 9:31
  But she couldn't appreciate it for her kids because she didn't
• 9:35
  know what it was.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I took that as a lesson learned.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: I said, to self, self, okay, we've got to do this differently.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: So I decided that with the help of,
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: with the agreement of the shelter,
• 9:45
  I would celebrate everything that we were celebrating in our
• 9:48
  families and as a
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: community and even as a country sometimes.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: So the next thing that was coming was Easter.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: So I said,
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: okay,
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: so I'm going to bring the Easter bunny,
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to pay the meals,
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: each shower,
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: have an Easter basket.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: But instead of just giving the children Easter baskets,
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: we'll give the moms an Easter gift as well.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: So Bobby, you know, gave me enough product to do that.
• 10:07
  I was working for Ivana Trump,
• 10:09
  God rest her soul at the time,
• 10:11
  doing some appraisal work.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: And she was very popular on HSN at the time with her jewelry.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I asked her if she would give me a piece of jewelry for each mom.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: And she was all in.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: So we did that.
• 10:20
  And we presented these moms when the kids came up to speak to
• 10:24
  the Easter Bunny and
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: to get their basket,
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: mom came up to it.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: And it became like the thing that we did.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: So I realized like,
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: first of all,
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: my mom had a magnet on the refrigerator that said,
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: if mama ain't happy,
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: ain't nobody happy.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so I thought, hmm, okay.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: I thought about that magnet.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I also thought, you know what?
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because ultimately,
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: I thought,
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: Flappy was helping moms with stuff they could do with the kids.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: But I realized that the moms needed as much support as kids, you know?
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: They were just feeling as down and out and whatever.
• 10:53
  So Hearts of World became about moms and kids celebrating what
• 10:57
  we celebrate,
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: in our culture,
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: in our societies,
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: whatever,
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: so that
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: They don't feel like lost,
• 11:02
  left out and not belonging while we all celebrate all the
• 11:06
  things that we're
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_03: celebrating.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_03: We live in a time right now where it feels like a lot is broken.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_03: And there are a lot of problems and fears and worries.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_03: It's not a feeling.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_03: A lot is broken.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: A lot is broken.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot about our systems is broken.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: And we don't have,
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 11:26
  our elected officials are so busy being elected officials that
• 11:30
  they're not,
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: their ears are not to the ground and they don't,
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: You know,
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: for some reason,
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: the problems,
• 11:35
  the systems that are broken are not getting addressed in a way
• 11:38
  that's like,
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: it's like,
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: let's remedy this because we can as a country.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: We,
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: as a country,
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: as the United States of America,
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: we do not have to have people sweeping our cover boxes in the street.
• 11:48
  We have enough resources to take care of everybody else's
• 11:51
  problems and figure out
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: every other country,
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: leaving our own,
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: citizens here to kind of fend for themselves or not.
• 11:59
  We can get so overwhelmed by the scale of the problem that we
• 12:02
  freeze and end up not
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_03: solving any problems and just fretting and worrying and ruminating.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_03: The first thing you did was you spoke to that young woman.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_03: That very simple act of engaging with another human being,
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_03: all of these could come together because you chose to engage.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: When I got into this,
• 12:25
  there was no world in which I ever imagined that I would impact
• 12:29
  40,000 lives.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I didn't set out to do that.
• 12:31
  I thought,
• 12:32
  I'll help this shelter as much as I can with these moms and
• 12:34
  kids.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: If you're lucky enough in your life,
• 12:36
  and thank God I've been lucky enough and blessed enough to have
• 12:39
  found something
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: that passions me so much.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you find passion in your life,
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: you will realize that it soon takes over.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's not about you anymore.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: But I can't decide anymore.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's just like its own truck.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's driving and you're just like on board.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's an amazing ride because passion is,
• 12:57
  I hope that everybody is passionate about something because
• 13:00
  passion is the reason
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: to live.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's like air.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's like breathe it.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: And it fills your body with like,
• 13:07
  oxygen and excitement and you you just realize that it puts you
• 13:11
  in a can-do
• 13:12
  position where you where you feel like you can do something and
• 13:16
  it doesn't matter
• 13:16
  there are no small acts of kindness there are no small acts of
• 13:21
  kindness so it
• 13:22
  doesn't matter like what you do you will always feel better
• 13:25
  after you perform an
• 13:27
  act of kindness than if you don't it just is what it is right
• 13:30
  so and i think that
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: That can only lead to a great place,
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: for us as humanity,
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: just like feeling good is what we want,
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: is what everybody strives for.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: So again, I'm fortunate in that regard.
• 13:43
  And I think that what people need to understand and what I
• 13:47
  understood by doing this
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: work is like,
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: you know what,
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: if you think about,
• 13:51
  like if I sat around and thought about homeless moms and kids
• 13:53
  all day long,
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: I wouldn't be too overwhelmed,
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: but I would be proud.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: But I don't.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: I put one foot in front of the other.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: And today's problem is this.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: Let me see if I can help them with this.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: And as you help someone to kind of start to unravel the knots,
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: you realize,
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 14:06
  if you take a piece of rope and you tie it into 100 knots and
• 14:10
  you make them really
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: tight and they seem impossible to open.
• 14:12
  But once you open that first knot and you kind of take through
• 14:16
  the loop and you go
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: to the next knot,
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: And you keep going.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, oh, I can do this.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what happens.
• 14:21
  And you end up untying the whole thing,
• 14:24
  although you didn't even think you could.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: You didn't even want to start.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: So I take life like that.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: I take baby steps, especially if I don't know what I'm doing.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: I tend to just go, let me try this.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: Big deal.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: So nothing tried, nothing done.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: If it doesn't work, I do something else.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: But you never know,
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: and I think that all of us,
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: every single human being is capable of being helpful,
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: of being essential in someone's life.
• 14:51
  It can be for a brief moment or it can be for a longer time,
• 14:54
  whatever it is.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: But I think that
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: if we just all understand that we are actually here to be connected.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: We're not here to live life back alone.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: We are here because energy is what makes the world go around.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: And we all have energy.
• 15:08
  And if you put your energy,
• 15:09
  the more energy you put at something,
• 15:12
  the more it'll work,
• 15:13
  right?
• 15:13
  So if we all decide to just throw some energy in the direction
• 15:16
  of humanity,
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: just think of it,
• 15:19
  whether it's your neighbor or the guy down the street or some
• 15:21
  stranger you see,
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: whatever,
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: just put a little bit of energy.
• 15:25
  The big distinction that you were making here is between
• 15:28
  worrying energy because
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_03: that's still energy too.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, true, true, true.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_03: It's unproductive energy though.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_03: It is inside.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_03: It doesn't reach anybody else.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_03: It doesn't solve anything.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_03: It rarely teaches us anything.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_03: But active energy is productive.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_03: It is impactful.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_03: If you are trying to find your purpose, look around you.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_03: There is someone who needs your support.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_03: And this isn't about having the full picture.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_03: As you said,
• 15:57
  you never would have imagined you were gonna help these tens of
• 16:00
  thousands of
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_03: people,
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_03: but you took one step forward.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_03: And that I think is the great lesson in all of this.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: I also think,
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: like during COVID,
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: one of the things that I,
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: it just was so annoying to me to constantly hear this,
• 16:16
  but telling people that essential workers were going out and
• 16:19
  then you stay home
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: because you're not essential.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, everybody's essential in this process.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like stop people telling you they're non-essential.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: Unessential workers, I said, well, I'm not going to be unessential.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: So whatever that, like, and you know what?
• 16:30
  I think that once you plant this idea in people's head that
• 16:33
  they could even be
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: non-essential,
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: they just accept that.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so I'll just go sit over here and instead
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: of saying, check in on your neighbor.
• 16:41
  If you're going to buy toilet paper,
• 16:43
  ask if your elderly neighbor needs some as well.
• 16:44
  Like,
• 16:45
  you know,
• 16:45
  just don't be,
• 16:46
  you can't be,
• 16:48
  who wants to live an unessential life at any point?
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: I just don't,
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: certain words you should not be using,
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: and I think that was one of them where it was like,
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: you're basically crippling people.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: And yes,
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: we all should not go out the street and run around and be crazy,
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: but there's still something
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: you can do.
• 17:05
  And it could be within your own community,
• 17:07
  your family,
• 17:07
  your aunt,
• 17:08
  somebody else,
• 17:09
  whatever.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: Just understand that we are not here to be not essential.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: We have purpose.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone has purpose.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: And you have purpose every day.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: If you get to wake up, that's your first day, right?
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: So when your first blessing is, oh, my God, open my eyes today.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: Look at me.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: And then you move like,
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: nobody gets up in the morning,
• 17:26
  opens their eyes and closes your eyes and go back to sleep for
• 17:28
  the rest of the day.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: You get up and you get out.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm saying?
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: Do you share your age, Deborah?
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, absolutely.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: I turned 65 on September 22nd.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: What's the alternative?
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: The alternative is to not.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I jump and scream for my birthday every year.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, OK, I am so grateful to be here to celebrate another one.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_03: Same, same.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_03: I look at women now in their 70s and their 80s and I think,
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_03: oh,
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_03: look at all the big,
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_03: brave things they are doing.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_03: I have so much time.
• 17:58
  And yet,
• 18:00
  so many of us get stuck in the worrying that,
• 18:02
  oh,
• 18:02
  well,
• 18:03
  I didn't do it when I was 20.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't do it when I was 30.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_03: So now it's too late.
• 18:08
  So how do you think about the future as you're setting goals
• 18:14
  for yourself and the
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_03: mission-driven work you're doing?
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I think a lot about succession planning at this point.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, okay, what happens to this organization when I no longer work?
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: That, that, that.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope to do it until my eyes get closed and I go to my desk,
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: wherever that is that we go when our eyes get closed.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: But to some degree,
• 18:36
  I love the feeling of helping these families to understand that
• 18:41
  they have someone.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: I love being there for them.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I get a phone call and it's just the mom and she's down.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: She's having a tough moment.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: She's whatever.
• 18:50
  And,
• 18:50
  you know,
• 18:51
  it just like,
• 18:52
  even just to listen to them,
• 18:53
  they need somebody to listen to.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: I think we can always do that.
• 18:56
  I think of my future as I just want to keep growing this as
• 19:01
  much as I can until,
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: I can't anymore so that it always lives.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: I want to keep giving life to it.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: And fortunately,
• 19:09
  I'm blessed enough that my older son has decided to completely
• 19:13
  on his own,
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: join the organization's board.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: And he is like, this does not stop you.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: And that to me is like the,
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: like one of the best bits in life because I raised my,
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: basically my older son was,
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: in 1994,
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_00: he was two years old when I started this,
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: right?
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: So then he was 1992, he was two years old.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: And my younger son is one 1994.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_00: So, and this organization is going on 32 years.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I have a 33 year old and 31 year old.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: They didn't really know anything but this.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: They kind of grew up in this world.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_00: And what I didn't do when I was raising them was to
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: preach to them about what I was doing.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: They kind of,
• 19:50
  I just kind of lived it and sometimes they came along and they
• 19:53
  saw what was going
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: on and sometimes they didn't.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: But one of the lessons I learned really early on from my kids,
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: my husband would take,
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_00: I have an amazing husband,
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: he's such a wonderful partner and father and,
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 20:03
  he puts the wind under my ring so I can keep going and doing
• 20:05
  all of this stuff
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: because,
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: of course,
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: I run a business on top of the nonprofit, and there's a lot to do.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: But my husband took my boys out for a bike ride.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: My younger son, Shevan, came home.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: He was so excited.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: He was, mama, look.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: And as he was riding on the shoulder of the FDR, I
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: He saw money on the street and he's like, have a look.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so they stopped and he found $20 wrapped up in $20, right?
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: So $40.
• 20:37
  And then he's peddling along a little more and somebody
• 20:39
  obviously had been losing
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: money as they were riding.
• 20:42
  So he ended up finding something like $120 in just bills that
• 20:46
  were lost along the street.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, Mama, look what I got.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: He goes, and I want to give it to the kids in the shelter.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: In your health, Mama, you can help the kids.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: Now, Shekhan was probably five years old, right?
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: And it blew me away to the point that I said to him,
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_00: and I said to myself,
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: self,
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: this is a teaching moment,
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: right?
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: So I said to him, oh my gosh, that's an amazing idea.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: Here's what I want us to do.
• 21:09
  I said,
• 21:10
  what Mama does the work I do,
• 21:12
  I'm going to teach you what we do,
• 21:14
  we share.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: I said, you don't have to give everything away.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: but you have a lot.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_00: So sharing is a great idea.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: So how about if we give half of that to the kids in the shelter,
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_00: and then you can buy yourself something with half of it or whatever.
• 21:27
  So you end up splitting half of him and his brother and taking
• 21:30
  half to the shelter.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: And the reason I did that was because
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want anybody,
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_00: anybody listening or anybody,
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: any child to think that,
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: oh,
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: I am meant to just give away all that I have.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't, that's not the point.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: The point is that when you have enough, you should share.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: And to recognize that enough point and share.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because even if you can, you should not eat an entire loaf of bread.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_00: There are many slices of loaf of bread.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: And you can still be very full and somebody else can eat as well,
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: which is a lesson I learned from my mom,
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_00: you know?
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that whenever I,
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: people talk about hearts of goals and work and like,
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: how do you,
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: how do you?
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I say, move with your heart.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's the first thing.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_00: And that was my son teaching me that he was leading with his heart.
• 22:15
  And then it was like,
• 22:16
  okay,
• 22:17
  what's the greatest act I can perform with this,
• 22:19
  right?
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: And it's giving of ourselves,
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: like sharing,
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: sharing what we have,
• 22:22
  because I am lucky enough that I have quite a bit of real
• 22:27
  people in the world who
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: share with me,
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: which is the only thing that allows me to do this work.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: the sharing of resources.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you need resources.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: When I have,
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: when I get a phone call that a mom just moved into the shelter,
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_00: she has nothing,
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_00: no food,
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_00: no whatever.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I have one, I meet me at Trader Joe's.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_00: When I get on that line at Trader Joe's, I got my credit card down.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_00: There's no, nobody's saying, oh, she's a homeless mom.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_00: Let's give her enough food for a week, right?
• 22:49
  So all of these resources that people put into this
• 22:52
  organization are to go,
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: the donations they make,
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's such, that's what powers your organization, right?
• 22:58
  So I will,
• 23:00
  until the sun rises and sets every day,
• 23:02
  I will go and I will work.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm an energizer bunny.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_00: But, you know, bunnies need big batteries, right?
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_00: And so you gotta put the batteries in there and charge them up.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: So charging me up,
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: helps me to go and supporting the work as people do and have done,
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: which is the only reason I got to,
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: really important.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't want anybody to ever feel like they can't help.
• 23:23
  Sometimes people send me a check for $18,
• 23:26
  which is a Jewish thing,
• 23:27
  and it's a blessing.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_00: And they're like, I wish I could send you more.
• 23:31
  And I always say,
• 23:32
  you sent me all that you put,
• 23:33
  so don't trust the blessing.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_00: The blessing is the gift.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever you give is the gift, right?
• 23:39
  So give in whatever capacity you're able to give from your
• 23:45
  heart,
• 23:45
  from your resources,
• 23:46
  whatever.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: But when you give that thing,
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_00: It takes on energy, you know?
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: And then it all keeps moving in that direction.
• 23:54
  So I always want people to know that everything they do in
• 23:58
  their communities,
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: in their families,
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_00: whatever,
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_00: to help somebody else,
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_00: just do it as whatever you give matters.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_00: There's no such thing as a too small amount.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: People get stuck there sometimes.
• 24:07
  They feel like,
• 24:08
  okay,
• 24:08
  if I can't solve the problem and give you the $50,000,
• 24:10
  then I can't help.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: But you know what?
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_00: When you're filling anything,
• 24:15
  drops of water fill a bucket and you never know if you're the
• 24:17
  one that starts the
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: bucket or you're the one that overflows the bucket.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: So put your drop in there because it will matter.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: It'll matter.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_03: That's so powerful, Debra.
• 24:26
  And I think it goes back to this idea of helping one person or
• 24:28
  helping tens of thousands.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_03: Help the one person.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, help the one person.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_03: And if you have capacity, help two or three or four.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_03: That's right.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_03: That's right.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_03: So you brought up so many really important points in this,
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_03: but one of them really is this idea of
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_03: enlisting support and bringing others along.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_03: And like I said in the opening,
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_03: there are so many diverse voices,
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_03: wise,
• 24:52
  experienced people who are stepping in with their dollars and
• 24:56
  their time and their
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_03: knowledge to help Hearts of Gold.
• 25:00
  What is at the heart of the way that you enlist support for the
• 25:05
  organization?
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_00: So we welcome time, treasure, and talent.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: The three T's that any non-profit needs is a life.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: Time, treasure, talent, right?
• 25:13
  So over the years,
• 25:14
  we've gotten some good publicity so people know about us.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: They find out about us, right?
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then they're like, okay, listen, I'm a retired whatever.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_00: I can volunteer to do X. Great.
• 25:24
  somebody says,
• 25:24
  you know what,
• 25:25
  I work here and I can make a donation and my company matches.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: Amazing.
• 25:29
  Somebody says,
• 25:30
  you know,
• 25:30
  so you've got time,
• 25:31
  you've got treasure and talent.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody says, you know what, I'm a retired bookkeeper.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_00: Do you need help with your, absolutely come on in.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_00: So there are so many ways that people can
• 25:41
  be of value,
• 25:42
  true value to us and to any small nonprofit or any nonprofit in
• 25:47
  general.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like we,
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_00: especially grassroots,
• 25:50
  we really rely on the kindness and the generosity of just
• 25:54
  people who are out there,
• 25:55
  understanding that we don't have all the resources to do all
• 25:59
  the marketing and the
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: whatever.
• 26:00
  But if people keep coming to us as they do,
• 26:02
  finding out about us and say,
• 26:04
  how can I help?
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_00: We have a thrift vintage store and the store is, we use my space
• 26:09
  So my background is I come from fashion and I have a women's
• 26:13
  French clothing boutique.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I've had it now for going into 37 years.
• 26:17
  So in my space where I run the boutique,
• 26:20
  I also have a thrift vintage store.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_00: And that thrift vintage store called TTH Vintage.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: We are located at 40 West 25th Street in Manhattan.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_00: That store and my boutique I use as a job training.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: So we hire moms and adult kids from the shelters,
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_00: give them job training skills,
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: pay them a living wage and help them to
• 26:38
  qualified for the voucher that's going to get them out of
• 26:40
  shelter,
• 26:40
  right?
• 26:40
  So it's job training,
• 26:42
  it's life skills,
• 26:43
  it's all kinds of things in the space.
• 26:46
  We have people who volunteer,
• 26:47
  like sometimes we just need help with inventory.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we need people to,
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: we need donations of clothing and whatever that come in that we sell,
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_00: because in selling this stuff,
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_00: it gives us the resources to buy the other stuff.
• 26:58
  So people bring us,
• 27:00
  you know,
• 27:01
  our motto is gap to Gucci and everything in between.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_00: And literally,
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: if you walk in here right now,
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_00: you will find gap to Gucci and everything in between.
• 27:07
  we have a beautifully curated store and i've gone out of my way
• 27:11
  to make sure that
• 27:12
  it's really beautiful in a very like aesthetically you walk in
• 27:16
  and you feel like
• 27:18
  good energy because i want the moms to be in that environment
• 27:20
  that they work every
• 27:21
  day i want them to come into that space and kind of own it you
• 27:24
  know be like okay
• 27:25
  you know i when i go to this place i feel good being there
• 27:28
  right so we have that
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_00: and so the future of the organization i mean there's so many
• 27:33
  I'm just so happy that we're here and that we're able to do the
• 27:35
  work we can do.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I want this to continue, like I said, and it's well on its way.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_00: We have some new younger board members that have come on board,
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: which is great because,
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_00: it's first of all,
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 27:47
  I'm on my act too and leaving this world to my son and all his
• 27:50
  friends and my boys
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_00: and so on.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: Hopefully, please God, one day grandchildren.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_00: And
• 27:56
  I just want to make sure that that thought is as clean as
• 27:59
  possible when I leave it
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_00: so that they,
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 28:02
  but also having given them the tools to understand how to clean
• 28:05
  up your bed.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: So to understand that it takes,
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_00: it takes energy,
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_00: but the first thing it takes is heart because with your heart,
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_00: you care.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_00: And once your heart is touched, you will move mountains.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's amazing the power that that gives you, to just move things.
• 28:20
  I mean,
• 28:21
  I've just moved things because of the hard work that I wanted
• 28:24
  to do.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't even know,
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_00: you know what I'm saying,
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_00: that the mountains that would move,
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_00: they step aside and let you through so you can keep going.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: And it's super powerful.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_00: It really is.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_00: And it's very empowering and it has been for me.
• 28:37
  And it's nice to know that I'm watching the younger generation
• 28:40
  and watching them
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_00: feel empowered to also,
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_00: to understand that their purpose is what they need to find.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like find your purpose.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_00: And once you find your purpose, it'll lead you to everything else.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know what I'm saying?
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: And that's kind of how it works.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_03: And we can't choose that for anyone else.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_03: And we can't direct someone or hope them into it.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_03: We got to hear so clearly how you found your purpose.
• 29:05
  And in there is a recipe for how any of us who are feeling a
• 29:09
  bit rudderless or
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_03: overwhelmed can find our purpose in these very needy times.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: Boy, if you've never felt needed before, you need it now.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_00: Your hopefulness is needed.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_00: Your belief that we can get out of this mess and that we will.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: I always believe that good will prevail ultimately.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes we do it to ourselves.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we got ourselves here.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_00: Now how do we get out of it?
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_00: This all didn't happen by itself.
• 29:37
  No.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_03: We're all a part of the problem and all a part of the solution.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_03: Solution.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_03: So,
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_03: Debra,
• 29:43
  every one of our guests nominates another woman in midlife who
• 29:47
  is doing big,
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_03: brave things,
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_03: who inspires her.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_03: Who would you like to nominate for the Uplift series?
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, wow.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_00: I would like to nominate Anne Lenayne.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_00: friend and somebody who's so powerful and inspiring.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_00: I can't wait to meet her.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_00: Tell me about her.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 30:04
  So Anne is a real estate broker extraordinaire in Manhattan,
• 30:09
  top at Douglas Elliman.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_00: And she is a people bringer together kind of person.
• 30:17
  she started a non-profit one block that was just really talk
• 30:20
  about cleaning up your
• 30:20
  backyard that's exactly she was doing she's like okay we live
• 30:23
  over here in hudson
• 30:24
  yards and let's put together a non-profit that you know clean
• 30:26
  up the streets the
• 30:27
  steep hour blah blah clear and then it grew and when you know
• 30:31
  from there it moved
• 30:33
  uptown and and so she's done all that she has a group called
• 30:37
  wise wonderful women
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_00: and it's just like bringing women together and
• 30:41
  teaching us all and bringing in different speakers who engage
• 30:45
  us and challenge us
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_00: to be our best selves.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_00: She holds these monthly dinners.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_00: And then she started this retreat last year,
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_00: January,
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_00: where she invites a group of women up to the Catskills.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_00: And it's a weekend of wellness and mentoring.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_00: And she's unstoppable.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_03: Incredible.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, she is.
• 31:03
  And for somebody as unstoppable as you to be in that in awe of
• 31:07
  her unstoppability,
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_03: I'm convinced.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_03: Oh,
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah, I love her.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_03: She's amazing.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_03: As uplifters, we love to uplift other uplifters.
• 31:17
  And one of the ways I would love for us to uplift you is to get
• 31:21
  a bunch of
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_03: uplifters together and come shopping and do my favorite hobby,
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_03: which is thrifting.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_03: I love it.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_03: I love it so much.
• 31:31
  So we will definitely plan an outing to come support Heart of
• 31:36
  Gold in that way.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_03: What else can we do to support you in Heart of Gold?
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_00: So at the moment, we're doing some restructuring of the organization.
• 31:46
  And if there's some retired person out there who feels like
• 31:49
  they want to be helpful
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_00: in supporting the store,
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_00: help with inventory,
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_00: as the year goes on,
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_00: we have different programs,
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_00: initiatives.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_00: If they join our volunteer list,
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: our website,
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: howtogo.org,
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_00: then we send out things as we need volunteers.
• 32:04
  There are also professionals out there who might have some time
• 32:07
  on their hands that
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_00: they want to donate.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_00: We're doing something called Road to a Million.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's a campaign that I have to raise a million dollars.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I literally,
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_00: if everybody donates $5 and gets 10 friends to donate $5,
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_00: we will make it there.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_00: Because what happened is we've lost some big supporters as of COVID.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_00: People who left, they just left, they left New York, they left the city.
• 32:30
  And so they kind of started supporting now where they are,
• 32:33
  you know,
• 32:33
  wherever they've moved to.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_00: And that's been really hurtful for us.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's really been challenging to replace them.
• 32:40
  So we're trying to just make sure we are solidly,
• 32:44
  we can have our feet firmly planted.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the things we need is to just like,
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_00: We need to raise back this million dollars that we've kind of lost.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we lost about $500,000 in the process.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_00: And we want to just feel like we're more secure, right?
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_00: So it might not sound like a lot,
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_00: but I guarantee you that if this happens and people really just say,
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_00: look,
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_00: just go to the website,
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_00: donate $5,
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_00: donate whatever you want.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_00: But,
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_00: we're just saying if we get all these multitude of people to donate,
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_00: we will get that million dollars.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_00: And that will be a party day.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_00: That will be a party day.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm going to go donate as soon as we hang up.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_03: So thank you for that.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_03: clear, specific action.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_03: We are so much stronger together.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_00: Stronger together is absolutely the way to go.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely the way to go.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you.
• 33:27
  And women supporting women is an incredible thing because we
• 33:32
  should be running the
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_00: world,
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_00: first of all.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so I was going to say,
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_00: yeah,
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_00: I was going to say if we support and if we do this,
• 33:40
  we can come out from that under place and really stand from
• 33:44
  above ground and be
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_00: really strong like that.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_00: So I love women supporting women.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's such and which is why,
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: this work with moms,
• 33:51
  just helping them become their best and strongest and most
• 33:56
  confident selves.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_00: and understanding that as women,
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_00: we carry everyone,
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_00: we carry everything,
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_00: and it just is what it is.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_00: And smart men know that.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I'm married to my husband.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_03: same smart men and creative, unstoppable women at every age.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_03: It is such a joy to meet you.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_03: I'm so inspired by you.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_03: I'm so grateful for the lessons and the insights you shared.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_03: And I hope that for me and for all of us,
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_03: they will move us past our fears and our worries into action and impact.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_03: Nothing is going to change if we stay stuck in our heads.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_00: We can only change if we move.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it takes energy.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you, Deborah.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_03: It's amazing being here.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_03: I look forward to meeting you soon in person.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_03: It's so great to have you.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, me too.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_00: Let's make that party happen.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_00: I can't wait.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm all excited.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm there now.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, got it.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_03: For those of you listening, thank you for joining Debra and I today.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_03: Go out, make a donation.
• 34:59
  Even like she said,
• 35:00
  if it's $5,
• 35:01
  these add up and together we can have so much impact.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_03: Go and visit our website.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_03: Join us for a little shopping party.
• 35:08
  You can find out everything over on the Uplifter Substack where
• 35:12
  we post so much
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_03: weekly inspiration.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_03: neuroscience about how change happens,
• 35:17
  especially in midlife and incredible stories like Deborah's
• 35:22
  that show us how it's
• 35:23
  SPEAKER_03: done.
• 35:23
  SPEAKER_03: See you next week.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for listening to the Uplifters podcast.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_03: If you're getting a boost from these episodes,
• 35:33
  please share them with the Uplifters in your life and then join
• 35:37
  us in conversation
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_03: over at theuplifterspodcast.com.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_03: Head over to Spotify,
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_03: Apple Podcasts,
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_03: or wherever you get your podcasts and like,
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_03: follow,
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_03: and rate our show.
• 35:50
  It'll really help us connect with more uplifters and it'll
• 35:54
  ensure you never miss
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_03: one of these beautiful stories.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_02: Big love.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_02: Painted water, sunshine, with rosemary and tongue.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_02: Dwelling, not perplexing, though you find it vexing.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_02: Toss a star and hover.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_02: Be your own best lover.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_02: Relish in a new prime.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_02: Plant a tree in springtime.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_02: Dance with idle hindsight.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_02: Bring the sun to twilight.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_02: Lift you up.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_01: What?
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_01: Lift you up Lift you up Lift you up
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_01: Beautiful.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_03: That little thing you did with your voice.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_03: Right?
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_03: In the pre-chorus.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_03: I was like... Mommy, stop crying.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_03: You're disturbing the peace.