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011 - The Good Angel · Selected Short Stories

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Speaker 1: Chapter eleven of The Man Upstairs. This is a LibriVox recording.
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Speaker 1: All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more
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Speaker 1: information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org. Recording
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Speaker 1: by Mike Harris The Man Upstairs by P. G. Woodhouse,
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Speaker 1: Story number eleven. The Good Angel. Any man under thirty
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Speaker 1: years of age who tells you he is not afraid
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Speaker 1: of an English butler lies. He may not show his
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Speaker 1: fear outwardly. He may be brave, aggressive, even perhaps to
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Speaker 1: the extent of calling the great Man here or Hi.
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Speaker 1: But in his heart, when he meets that cold, blue,
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Speaker 1: introspective eye, he quakes. The effect that Keggs, the butler
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Speaker 1: at the Keiths, had on Martin Rossiter, was to make
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Speaker 1: him feel as if he had been caught laughing in
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Speaker 1: a cathedral. He fought against the feeling. He asked himself
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Speaker 1: who Keggs was, anyway, and replied defiantly that Keggs was
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Speaker 1: a mean and an overfed menial. But all the while
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Speaker 1: he knew that logic was useless. When the Keiths had
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Speaker 1: invited him to their country home, he had been delighted.
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Speaker 1: They were among his oldest friends. He liked mister Keith.
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Speaker 1: He liked missus Keith. He loved Elsa Keith, and had
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Speaker 1: done so from boyhood. But things had gone wrong. As
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Speaker 1: he leaned out of his bedroom window at the end
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Speaker 1: of the first week, preparatory to dressing for dinner, he
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Speaker 1: was more than half inclined to make some excuse and
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Speaker 1: get right out of the place next day. The bland
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Speaker 1: dignity of Keggs had taken all the heart out of him.
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Speaker 1: Nor was it Keggs alone who had driven his thoughts
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Speaker 1: toward flight. Keggs was merely a passive evil, like toothache
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Speaker 1: or a rainy day. What had begun actively to make
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Speaker 1: the place impossible was a perfectly pestilential young man of
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Speaker 1: the name of Barstow. The house party of the Keiths
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Speaker 1: had originally been, from Martin's viewpoint, almost ideal. The rest
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Speaker 1: of the men were of the speechless, mustache tugging breed.
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Speaker 1: They had come to shoot, and they shot. When they
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Speaker 1: were not shooting, they congregated in the billiard room and
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Speaker 1: devoted their powerful intellects exclusively to snooker pool, leaving Martin
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Speaker 1: free to talk undisturbed to Elsap. He'd been doing this
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Speaker 1: for five days with great contentment. When Aubrey Barstow arrived,
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Speaker 1: Mister s Keith had developed of late leanings toward culture
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Speaker 1: in her town house. A charge of small shot fired
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Speaker 1: in any direction on a Thursday afternoon would not have
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Speaker 1: failed to bring down a poet, a novelist, or even
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Speaker 1: a painter. Aubrey Barstow, author of The Soul's Eclipse and
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Speaker 1: other poems, was a constant member of the crowd, a
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Speaker 1: youth of insinuating manners. He had appealed to missus Keith
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Speaker 1: from the start, and unfortunately the virus had extended to
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Speaker 1: Elsap Many A pleasant sunshiny Thursday afternoon had been poisoned
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Speaker 1: for Martin by the sight of Aubrey and Elsa together
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Speaker 1: on a distant settee, matching temperaments. The rest is too painful.
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Speaker 1: It was a rout. The poet did not shoot, so
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Speaker 1: that when Martin returned of an evening, his rival was
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Speaker 1: about five hours of soul to soul talk up, and
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Speaker 1: only two to play. And those two, the after dinner hours,
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Speaker 1: which had once been the hours for which Martin had lived,
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Speaker 1: were pure torture. So engrossed was he with his thoughts
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Speaker 1: that the first intimation he had that he was not
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Speaker 1: alone in the room. Was a genteel cough behind him,
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Speaker 1: holding a small can. Was Keggs your ought, waters ahm,
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Speaker 1: said the butler, austerely, but not unkindly. Keggs was a man.
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Speaker 1: One must use that word, though it seems grossly inadequate
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Speaker 1: of medium height. Pigeon toed at the base, bulgy half
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Speaker 1: way up, and balled at the apex. His manner was
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Speaker 1: restrained and dignified, his voice soft and grave. But it
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Speaker 1: was his eye that quelled Martin. That cold blue Dukes
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Speaker 1: have treated me as an l the brother ay he
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Speaker 1: fixed it upon him now, as he added, placing the
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Speaker 1: can on the floor, it is Frederick's duty. But to
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Speaker 1: night I hundertook it. Martin had no answer. He was dazed.
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Speaker 1: Keggs had spoken with the proud humility of an emperor
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Speaker 1: compelled by misfortune to shine shoes. Might I have a
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Speaker 1: word with yours? Arm? Oh? Yes, he think, yes, of course,
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Speaker 1: stammered Martin. Won't you take it? I mean, yes, certainly,
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Speaker 1: it is perhaps a liberty, began Giggs. He paused and
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Speaker 1: raked Martin with the eye that had rested, undining Duke's
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Speaker 1: not at all, said Martin, hurriedly. I should like, went
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Speaker 1: on Keggs, bowing to speak to you on a somewhat
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Speaker 1: intimate sub trick, Miss Elsa. Martin's eyes and mouth opened slowly.
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Speaker 1: You are going the wrong way to work, if you
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Speaker 1: will allow matus, I says, Ah. Martin's jaw dropped another inch,
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Speaker 1: or what what women? Sir proceeded Keggs. Young ladies are peculiar.
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Speaker 1: I have had, if I may, says, have certain opportunities
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Speaker 1: of observing their ways. Miss Elso reminds me in some
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Speaker 1: respective Lady Angelic of Frindal, of whom I had the
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Speaker 1: honor of knowing when I was butler to her father,
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Speaker 1: Lord Stockley. Her ladyship was inclined to be romantic. She
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Speaker 1: was fond of fir tree. Like Miss Elsa, she would
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Speaker 1: sit by the hour as I listening to young mister
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Speaker 1: Knox reading Tennyson, which was no part of his duties,
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Speaker 1: he being employed by his lordship to teach Lord Bertie
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Speaker 1: Latin and Greek and what not. You may have noticed
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Speaker 1: so that young lady is often took by Tennyson, especially
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Speaker 1: in the summer time. Mister barst I was reading Tennyson
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Speaker 1: to miss Elsa in the all when I passed through
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Speaker 1: just now that the princess, if I am not mistaken,
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Speaker 1: I don't know what the thing was, groaned Martin. She
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Speaker 1: seemed to be enjoying it. Lady Angelica was greatly addicted
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Speaker 1: to the princess young mister Fox's reading portions of that
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Speaker 1: poem to her. When his lordship come upon them, Miss
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Speaker 1: Rashleigh has lordship bed a public expose and packed mister
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Speaker 1: Knoxhorf next day. It was not my place to voluntary advice,
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Speaker 1: but I could have told him what would happen. Two
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Speaker 1: days later, her ladyship slips away to London early in
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Speaker 1: the morning and they married at a registry office. And
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Speaker 1: that's why I say that you're go in the wrong
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Speaker 1: way to work with miss Ailsaser with certain types of
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Speaker 1: eye spirited young lady opposition. He is useless. Now when
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Speaker 1: mister Parster is reading to Miss Elsa on the occasion
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Speaker 1: to which I have alluded, you were sitting by trying
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Speaker 1: to engage her attentionly. It's not that way, sir. You
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Speaker 1: should leave them alone together. Let us see so much
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Speaker 1: of him, nobody else but him, that she will grow
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Speaker 1: tired of him. Fondness for poetry. He is there very
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Speaker 1: much like a whiskey abbot. You can't cure a man
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Speaker 1: who has got that by hopposition of If you'll permit
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Speaker 1: me to offer a word of advice, sir, I say,
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Speaker 1: let miss Elsa have all the poetry she wants. Martin
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Speaker 1: was conscious of one coherent feeling at the conclusion of
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Speaker 1: this address, and that was one of amazed gratitude. A
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Speaker 1: lesser man who had entered his room and begun to
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Speaker 1: discuss his private affairs would have had reason to retire
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Speaker 1: with some speed. But that Keggs should descend from his
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Speaker 1: pedestal and interest himself in such lowly matters was a
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Speaker 1: different thing altogether. I'm very much obliged. She he was
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Speaker 1: stammering when the butler raised her deprecatory hand. My interest
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Speaker 1: in the matter, ah, he said, smoothly, is not entirely altruistic.
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Speaker 1: For some years back, in fact, since miss Elsa came out,
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Speaker 1: we've had a matrimonian sweepstakes, and the servants or at
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Speaker 1: each house party, the names of the gentlemen in the
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Speaker 1: party are placed in a hat and drawn in due course.
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Speaker 1: Should miss Elsa become engaged to any member of the party.
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Speaker 1: The pool goes to the drawer of his name. Should
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Speaker 1: no engagement occur, the money remains in my charge at
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Speaker 1: least until the following year, when it's added to the
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Speaker 1: new pool. Hitherto I have had the misfortune to draw
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Speaker 1: nothing but married gentleman Droun. On this occasion, I have
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Speaker 1: secured you, sir, And may I tell you, sir, he added,
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Speaker 1: with stately care to say that in the opinion of
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Speaker 1: the servants, all your chances are highly fancied, very highly.
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Speaker 1: The pool has now reached considerable proportions, and having had
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Speaker 1: certain losses on the ter fairy reason, I am extremely
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Speaker 1: anxious to win it. So I thought, if I might
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Speaker 1: take the liberty, sir, I would place my knowledge of
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Speaker 1: the sex at your disposal. You will find it sound
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Speaker 1: in every respect, and that is all. Thank your sir.
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Speaker 1: Don't thank me, sir, said the butler indulgently. I ask
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Speaker 1: no thanks. We're working together for a common object, and
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Speaker 1: any little help I can provide is given freely. You
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Speaker 1: old scoundrel, shouted martin, his wrath, prevailing even against that
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Speaker 1: blue eye, you have the insolence to come to me
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Speaker 1: and entrupt. He stopped the thought of these hounds, these
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Speaker 1: demons coolly asping and speculating below stairs about Elsa, making
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Speaker 1: her the subject of little sporting flutters to relieve the
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Speaker 1: monotony of country life choked him. I shall tell mister Keith,
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Speaker 1: he said. The butler shook his bald head gravely. I shouldn't, sir,
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Speaker 1: It's an oily fantastic story, and I don't think he'd
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Speaker 1: believe it. Then I'll i'll oh get out. Keggs bowed deferentially.
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Speaker 1: If ah, if you wish it, sir, he said, I
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Speaker 1: shall withdraw. If I may make the suggestions I think
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Speaker 1: you should commence to dress. Dinner will be served in
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Speaker 1: a few minutes. Then goes arm. Keggs passed softly out
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Speaker 1: of the room. It was more as a demonstration defiance
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Speaker 1: against Keggs than because he really hoped that anything would
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Speaker 1: come of it, that Martin approached else. The next morning,
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Speaker 1: after breakfast, Elsa was strolling on the terrace in front
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Speaker 1: of the house with the Bard, but Martin broke in
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Speaker 1: on the conference with the dogged determination of a steam
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Speaker 1: drill coming out with the guns to day el sir,
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Speaker 1: he said, She raised her eyes. There was an absent
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Speaker 1: look in them, but the guns, she said, O owner,
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Speaker 1: I hate watching men shoot. You used to like it.
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Speaker 1: I used to like dolls, she said impatiently. Mister Barstow
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Speaker 1: gave tongue. He was a slim, tall, sickeningly beautiful young
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Speaker 1: man with large, dark eyes full of expression. We develop,
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Speaker 1: he said, The years go by, and we develop. Our
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Speaker 1: souls expand timidly at first, like little half fledged birds
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Speaker 1: stealing out from it. I don't know that. I'm so
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Speaker 1: set on shooting to day myself. Martin said, will you
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Speaker 1: come round the lynx, I'm going out in the motor
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Speaker 1: with mister Barstow. Said, Elsa the motor, cried mister Barstow. Ah, Rossita,
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Speaker 1: that is the very poetry of motion. I never ride
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Speaker 1: in a motor car without those words of Shakespeare's ringing
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Speaker 1: in my mind. I'll put a girdle round about the
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Speaker 1: earth in forty minutes. Well, I shouldn't give way to
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Speaker 1: that sort of thing if I were you, said Martin.
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Speaker 1: The police are put it down on road hugging in
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Speaker 1: these parts. Mister Barstow was speaking figuratively, said elso with disdain,
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Speaker 1: I was, he grunted Martin, whose sorrows were tending to
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Speaker 1: make him every day more like a sulky schoolboy. I'm
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Speaker 1: afraid I haven't got a poetic soul. Yes, I'm afraid
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Speaker 1: you haven't, said Elso. There was a brief silence. A
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Speaker 1: bird made itself heard in a neighboring tree, the moan
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Speaker 1: of doves in immemorial Elms, quoted mister Barstow softly. Only
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Speaker 1: it happens to be a crow in a beech, said Martin.
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Speaker 1: As the bird flew out. Elsi's chin tilted itself in scorn.
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Speaker 1: Martin turned on his heel and walked away. It's the
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Speaker 1: wrong way, Sah, It's the wrong way, said a voice.
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Speaker 1: I was observing you from a windowser. It's Lady Angelica
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Speaker 1: all over again. Our position is useless, believe me, Sir
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Speaker 1: Martin faced round, flushed and wrathful. The butler went on unmoved.
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Speaker 1: Miss Elsie has gone for a ride in the car
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Speaker 1: to day, Sir, I know that uncommonly tricky things, these
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Speaker 1: motor car I was saying so to Roberts, the chauffeur.
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Speaker 1: Just as soon as I heard Miss Elsie was gone
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Speaker 1: out of mister Barstow, I said Roberts, these cars is
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Speaker 1: tricky break down when you're twenty miles from henniwhare as
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Speaker 1: soon as you'll look at you, Roberts, I said, slipping
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Speaker 1: to a sovereign. How aw would it would be if
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Speaker 1: that car should break down twenty miles from Hennywhere to day?
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Speaker 1: Martin staid, you bribed Roberts, Sir. I gave Roberts the
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Speaker 1: sovereign cause I'm sorry for and he's a poor man
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Speaker 1: and has a wife and family to support. Very well,
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Speaker 1: said Martin, sternly. I shall go and warn miss Keith Warners, Sir,
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Speaker 1: I shall tell her that you have bribed Roberts to
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Speaker 1: make the car break down, so that Keggs shook his head.
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Speaker 1: I fear she would hardly credit the statements air. She
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Speaker 1: might even think that you were trying to keep her
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Speaker 1: from going for your own personal ends. I believe you
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Speaker 1: are the devil, said Martin. I hope you'll come to
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Speaker 1: look on Messa, said Kays unctuously, as your good angel.
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Speaker 1: Martin shot abominably that day. Coming home in the evening,
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Speaker 1: gloomy and Savage went straight to his room and did
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Speaker 1: not reappear till dinner time. Elsa had been taken in
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Speaker 1: by one of the mustached huggers. Martin found himself seated
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Speaker 1: on her other side. It was so pleasant to be
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Speaker 1: near her, and to feel that the bard was away
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Speaker 1: at the other end of the table. That for the
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Speaker 1: moment his spirits revived. Well, how did you like the ride,
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Speaker 1: he asked, with a smile. Did you put that girdle
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Speaker 1: round the world? She looked at him once. The next
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Speaker 1: moment he had an uninterrupted view of her shoulder and
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Speaker 1: heard the sound of her voice as she prattled gaily
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Speaker 1: with the man on her other side. His heart gave
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Speaker 1: a sudden bound. He understood now the demon butler had
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Speaker 1: had his wicked way. Good heavens, she had thought he
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Speaker 1: was taunting her. He must explain at once, he said,
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Speaker 1: ach or shareer Sam. He looked up into Kag's expressionless eyes.
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Speaker 1: The butler was wearing his unduty mask. There was no
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Speaker 1: sign of triumph in his face. Oh, oh, Sherry, I
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Speaker 1: mean hark, no Sherry neither. This was awful. He must
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Speaker 1: put this right. Elsa, he said. She was engrossed in
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Speaker 1: a conversation with her neighbor. From down the table. In
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Speaker 1: a sudden lull in the talk came the voice of
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Speaker 1: mister Barstow. He seemed to be in the middle of
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Speaker 1: a narrative. Fortunately, he was saying, I had with me
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Speaker 1: a volume of Chrey, nor of my own little efforts.
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Speaker 1: I had read miss Keith the whole of the latter
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Speaker 1: and much of the former. Before the chauffeur announced that
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Speaker 1: it was once more possible, Elsa said the wretched man,
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Speaker 1: I had no idea, you don't think. She turned to him.
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Speaker 1: I beg your pardon. I swear I didn't. I mean,
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Speaker 1: I I've forgot. I mean, she wrinkled her for I'm
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Speaker 1: really afraid I don't understand. I mean about the car
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Speaker 1: breaking down. The car, Oh, yes, yes, it broke down.
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Speaker 1: We were delayed quite a little while mister Barstow read
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Speaker 1: me some of his poems. It was perfectly lovely. I
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Speaker 1: was quite sorry when Roberts told us we could go
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Speaker 1: on again. But do you really mean to tell me,
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Speaker 1: mister Lambert, that you and once more the world became
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Speaker 1: all shoulder. When the men trailed into the presence of
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Speaker 1: the ladies. With that brief seance in which Etikeette insisted
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Speaker 1: before permitting the stampede to the billiard room, Elsa was
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Speaker 1: not to be seen. Elsa said missus Keith in answer
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Speaker 1: to Martin's question, Oh, she's gone to bed. The poor
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Speaker 1: child has a headache. I'm afraid she had a tiring day.
15:43
Speaker 1: There was an early morning start for the guns, and
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Speaker 1: as Elsa did not appear at breakfast, Martin had to
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Speaker 1: leave without seeing her. His shooting was even worse than
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Speaker 1: it had been on the previous day. It was not
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Speaker 1: until late in the evening that the party returned to
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Speaker 1: the house. Martin, on the way to his room, met
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Speaker 1: missus Keith on the stairs. She appeared somewhat agitated. Oh oh, Martin,
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Speaker 1: missus Keith said, I'm so glad you're back. Have you
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Speaker 1: seen anything of Elsa? Elsa? Wasn't she with the guns?
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Speaker 1: With the guns? Said Martin, puzzled No, I've seen nothing
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Speaker 1: of her all day. I'm getting worried. I can't think
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Speaker 1: what can have happened to her. Are you sure she
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Speaker 1: wasn't with the guns? Absolutely certain? Didn't she come in
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Speaker 1: for lunch? No, Tom, she said, as mister Keith came up.
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Speaker 1: I'm so worried about Elsa. I haven't seen her all day.
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Speaker 1: I thought she must have been out with the guns.
16:36
Speaker 1: Mister Keith was a man who had built up a
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Speaker 1: large fortune mainly by consistently refusing to allow anything to
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Speaker 1: agitate him. He carried this policy into private life. Wasn't
16:46
Speaker 1: she in at lunch? She asked placidly. I tell you
16:49
Speaker 1: I haven't seen her all day. She breakfasted in a
16:52
Speaker 1: room late. Yes, she was tired pogo. Well if she
16:56
Speaker 1: breakfasted late, said mister Keith, she wouldn't need any lunch.
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Speaker 1: She's gone for a stroll somewhere. Would you put back
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Speaker 1: dinner do you think, inquired missus Keith. Anxiously, I am
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Speaker 1: not good at Riddle's, said mister Keith, comforting that I
17:11
Speaker 1: can answer that one. I would not put back dinner.
17:14
Speaker 1: I would not put back dinner for the king. Elsa
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Speaker 1: did not come back for dinner, or was her? As
17:21
Speaker 1: the only vacant place mister Barstow had also vanished. Even
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Speaker 1: mister Keith's calm was momentarily ruffled by this discovery. The
17:29
Speaker 1: poet was not a favorite of his. It was only
17:32
Speaker 1: reluctantly that he had consented to his being invited at all,
17:35
Speaker 1: and the presumption being that when two members of a
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Speaker 1: house party disappear simultaneously, they are likely to be spending
17:41
Speaker 1: the time in each other's society. He was annoyed. Elsa
17:45
Speaker 1: was not the girl to make a fool of herself,
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Speaker 1: of course, but he was unwontedly silent. At dinner, missus
17:52
Speaker 1: Keith's anxiety displayed itself differently. She was frankly worried and
17:56
Speaker 1: mentioned it. By the time the fish had been reached,
17:59
Speaker 1: conversation at the table had fixed itself definitely on the
18:02
Speaker 1: one topic. It isn't the car this time, at any rate,
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Speaker 1: said mister Keith. It hasn't been out to day. I
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Speaker 1: can't understand it, said missus Keith for the twentieth time,
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Speaker 1: and that was the farthest point reached in the investigation
18:15
Speaker 1: of the mystery. By the time dinner was over, a
18:19
Speaker 1: spirit of unrest was abroad. The company sat about in
18:22
Speaker 1: uneasy groups. Snook o'pool was, if not forgotten at any rate, shelved.
18:27
Speaker 1: Somebody suggested search parties, and one or two of the
18:30
Speaker 1: mustache huggers wandered rather aimlessly out into the darkness. Martin
18:34
Speaker 1: was standing in the porch with mister Keith when Keggs approached.
18:38
Speaker 1: As his eyes lit upon him, Martin was conscious of
18:40
Speaker 1: a sudden, solidifying of the vague suspicion which had been
18:43
Speaker 1: forming in his mind. And yet that suspicion seemed so wild.
18:48
Speaker 1: How could Keggs, with the worst intentions, have had anything
18:51
Speaker 1: to do with this? He could not forcibly have abducted
18:54
Speaker 1: the missing pair and kept them under lock and key.
18:57
Speaker 1: He could not have stunned them and left them in
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Speaker 1: a ditch. Nevertheless, looking at Keggs, standing there in his
19:03
Speaker 1: attitude of deferential dignity, with the light from the open
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Speaker 1: door shining on his bald head, Martin felt perfectly certain
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Speaker 1: that he had had, in some mysterious fashion, engineered the
19:13
Speaker 1: whole thing. Might I have a word, sir, if you
19:17
Speaker 1: are at lijam well Keggs miss elsa suh yes, Kegg's
19:24
Speaker 1: voice took on a sympathetic softness. It is not my place, sir,
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Speaker 1: to make any remark while in the dining room, but
19:30
Speaker 1: I could not help but overear the conversation. I gathered
19:33
Speaker 1: from the remarks that was past that you were somewhat
19:36
Speaker 1: at a loss to account for Miss ELS's non appearance,
19:40
Speaker 1: mister Keith laughed shortly. You gathered that, eh, Keggs bowed.
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Speaker 1: I think, sir, that possibly I might be able to
19:47
Speaker 1: throw light on the matter. What cried mister Keith, great
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Speaker 1: scott Man. Then why didn't you say so at the time?
19:53
Speaker 1: Where is she? Oh? It was not my place, sir,
19:57
Speaker 1: to hinted at the conversation of the dinner table, said
19:59
Speaker 1: the butler. Touch of a proof, if I might speak now, sir,
20:04
Speaker 1: mister Keith clutched at his forehead. Heavens above, do you
20:07
Speaker 1: want a sign to permit to tell me where my
20:09
Speaker 1: daughter is? Get on, man, get on with it. I
20:13
Speaker 1: think it highly poorsbill, sir, that missus Elser and mister
20:16
Speaker 1: Barstow may be on the highland and the like, Sir.
20:20
Speaker 1: About a half a mile from the house was a
20:21
Speaker 1: picturesque strip of water, some fifteen hundred yards in width
20:25
Speaker 1: and a little less in length, in the center of
20:27
Speaker 1: which it stood a small and densely wooded island. It
20:31
Speaker 1: was a favorite haunt of visitors at the house when
20:33
Speaker 1: there was nothing else to engage their attention. But during
20:36
Speaker 1: the past week, with shooting de velop the days it
20:38
Speaker 1: had been neglected on the island, said mister Keith, what
20:41
Speaker 1: put that idea under your head? Oh? I happen to
20:45
Speaker 1: be roving on the lake this morning, Sah, I frequently
20:48
Speaker 1: row over morning so and there are no duties to
20:50
Speaker 1: detain me in the house. I find the exercise admirable
20:53
Speaker 1: for the health. I walked briskly to the boat house.
20:56
Speaker 1: And yes, yes, I don't want a schedule of your
20:59
Speaker 1: daily exercise. Cut out the athletic reminiscences and come to
21:02
Speaker 1: the point. As I was rowing on the light this morning, Sir,
21:06
Speaker 1: I happened to see a boat itched up to a
21:08
Speaker 1: tree on the highland. I think possibly Miss Elsa and
21:12
Speaker 1: mister Barstow might have taken a row out there. Mister
21:15
Speaker 1: Barstow would wish to see the highland, Sir, beIN romantic,
21:20
Speaker 1: But you say you saw the boat there this morning, Yes, sir, Well,
21:25
Speaker 1: it doesn't take all day to explore a small island.
21:27
Speaker 1: What's kept them all this time? It is possible, Sir,
21:31
Speaker 1: that the rope might not have held mister Barstow, if
21:34
Speaker 1: I might say so, Sir, is one of those impetuous
21:37
Speaker 1: literary puzzles, and possibly he obmitted to see that the
21:41
Speaker 1: knot was hedequately tired or his eye grave and inscrutable
21:45
Speaker 1: rest for a moment on Martin's or some party might
21:49
Speaker 1: have come along and untied it a purpose. Untied it
21:54
Speaker 1: on purpose, said mister Keith. What on earth for? Kiggs
21:58
Speaker 1: shook his head, depreciating as one who, realizing his limitations,
22:02
Speaker 1: declines to attempt to probe the hidden sources of human actions.
22:07
Speaker 1: I thought it right, sir, to let you know, he said, right,
22:11
Speaker 1: I should say so if else has been kept starving
22:14
Speaker 1: all day on that island by that long hip, hip,
22:16
Speaker 1: come along, Martin. He dashed off excitedly into the night.
22:21
Speaker 1: Martin remained for a moment, gazing fixedly at the butler.
22:25
Speaker 1: I hope, sir, said Geggs, cordially, that my information will
22:28
Speaker 1: provide a genuine assistance. Do you know what I should
22:33
Speaker 1: like to do to you? Martin said slowly. I think
22:36
Speaker 1: I hear mister Keith calling you, sir. I should like
22:39
Speaker 1: to take you by the scruff of your neck? There, sir,
22:41
Speaker 1: don't you hear him? Then? Quite distinct it was, Martin
22:45
Speaker 1: gave up the struggle with a sense of blank futility.
22:48
Speaker 1: What could you do with a man like this? It
22:49
Speaker 1: was like quarreling with Westminster Abbey. I should array, sir,
22:53
Speaker 1: suggested Keggs, respectfully. I think mister Keith must have met
22:56
Speaker 1: with some accident. His surmise proved correc When Martin came up,
23:01
Speaker 1: he found his host seated on the ground in evident pain.
23:05
Speaker 1: Twisted my ankle in a hole, he explained, briefly, give
23:08
Speaker 1: me an arm back to the house, there's a good fellow,
23:10
Speaker 1: and then run on down to the lake and see
23:12
Speaker 1: if what Keggs said is true. Martin did as he
23:16
Speaker 1: was requested, so far that as to say, as the
23:18
Speaker 1: first half the commission was concerned, as regarded the second,
23:22
Speaker 1: he took it upon himself to make certain changes. Having
23:25
Speaker 1: seen mister Keith to his room, he put the fitting
23:27
Speaker 1: out of the relief ship into the good hands of
23:29
Speaker 1: a group of his fellow guests, whom he discovered in
23:31
Speaker 1: the porch. ELS's feelings towards her rescuer might be one
23:35
Speaker 1: of unmixed gratitude, but it might, on the other hand,
23:38
Speaker 1: be one of resentment. He did not wish her to
23:40
Speaker 1: connect him in her mind with the episode in any
23:43
Speaker 1: way whatsoever. Martin had once released a dog from a trap,
23:47
Speaker 1: and the dog had bitten him. He had been on
23:50
Speaker 1: an errand of mercy, but the dog had connected him
23:52
Speaker 1: with his sufferings and acted accordingly. It occurred to Martin
23:56
Speaker 1: that ELS's frame of mind would be uncommonly like that
23:59
Speaker 1: of the door Hoggs. The rescue party set off. Martin
24:03
Speaker 1: lit a cigarette and waited on the porch. It seemed
24:06
Speaker 1: a very long time before anything happened. But at last,
24:08
Speaker 1: as he was lighting his fifth cigarette, there came from
24:11
Speaker 1: the darkness the sound of voices. They drew nearer. Some
24:14
Speaker 1: one shouted, it's all right, we found them. Martin threw
24:18
Speaker 1: away his cigarette and went indoors. Elsa Keith sat up
24:23
Speaker 1: as her mother came into the room. Two nights and
24:26
Speaker 1: a day had passed. She had taken to her bed.
24:29
Speaker 1: How are you feeling to day? Ere has he gone? Mother?
24:33
Speaker 1: Who mister Barstow, Yes, dear, he left this morning, said
24:37
Speaker 1: he had business with his publisher in London. Then I
24:40
Speaker 1: can get up, said Elsa thankfully. I think you're a
24:43
Speaker 1: little hard on poor mister Barstow. Elsie, it was just
24:46
Speaker 1: an accident, you know. It's not his fault that the
24:48
Speaker 1: boat slipped away. It was it was, it was, cried Elsa,
24:51
Speaker 1: thumping the pillow malignantly. I believe he did it on
24:54
Speaker 1: purpose so that he could read me his horrid poetry
24:56
Speaker 1: without my having a chance to escape. I believe that
25:00
Speaker 1: it's the only way he can get people to listen
25:01
Speaker 1: to it. But you used to like it, darling. You
25:05
Speaker 1: said he had such a musical voice. Musical voice. The
25:09
Speaker 1: pillow became a shapeless heap. Mother, it was like a nightmare.
25:13
Speaker 1: If I had seen him again, I should have had hysterics.
25:17
Speaker 1: It was awful. If he had been even the least
25:20
Speaker 1: bit upset himself, I think I could have borne up.
25:22
Speaker 1: But he enjoyed it. He he reveled in it. He
25:26
Speaker 1: said it was like, oh, Mark, I am in the wilderness,
25:29
Speaker 1: and Shelley's episcitity in it, whatever that is. And he
25:33
Speaker 1: prattled on and on and read and read till my
25:36
Speaker 1: head began to split. Mother, I hit him, Elsa, I did.
25:42
Speaker 1: She went on. I hit him as hard as I could,
25:45
Speaker 1: and he she broke off into a little gurgle of laughter.
25:49
Speaker 1: He tripped over a bush and fell right down. And
25:51
Speaker 1: I wasn't a bit ashamed. I didn't think it unladylike anything.
25:54
Speaker 1: I was just as proud as I could be. And
25:56
Speaker 1: it stopped him talking. But Elsa, dear, why the sun
26:02
Speaker 1: had just gone down, and it was a lovely sunset,
26:05
Speaker 1: and the sky looked like a great beautiful slice of
26:08
Speaker 1: underdone beef. And I said so to him, and he
26:10
Speaker 1: said sniffily that he was afraid he didn't see the resemblance.
26:14
Speaker 1: And I asked him if he wasn't starving, and he
26:16
Speaker 1: said no, because, as a rule, all that he needed
26:18
Speaker 1: was a little ripe fruit. That was when I hit him. Elsa. Oh,
26:24
Speaker 1: I know it was awfully wrong, but I just had to.
26:27
Speaker 1: And now I'll get up. It looks lovely out. Martin
26:31
Speaker 1: had not gone out with the guns that day. Missus
26:33
Speaker 1: Keith had assured him that there was nothing wrong with Elsa,
26:35
Speaker 1: that she was only tired, but he was anxious and
26:38
Speaker 1: had remained at home where bulletins could reach him. As
26:41
Speaker 1: he was returning from a stroll in the grounds, he
26:43
Speaker 1: heard his name called and saw Elsa lying in the
26:45
Speaker 1: hammock under the trees near the terrace. Why Martin, why
26:49
Speaker 1: aren't you out of the guns? She said. I wanted
26:52
Speaker 1: to be on the spot so that I could hear
26:53
Speaker 1: how you were. Oh, how nice of you. Why don't
26:56
Speaker 1: you sit down? May i? Elsa fluttered the pages of
26:59
Speaker 1: him magazine. You know you're a very RESTful person. Martin,
27:03
Speaker 1: you are so big and outdoory. How would you like
27:06
Speaker 1: to read to me for a while? I feel so lazy.
27:10
Speaker 1: Martin took the magazine. H what shall I read? Oh?
27:14
Speaker 1: Here's a poem? But Elsa shudder? Oh please please no,
27:17
Speaker 1: I couldn't bear it. I'll tell you what I should
27:19
Speaker 1: love the advertisements. There's about sardines. I started it and
27:24
Speaker 1: it seems splendid. It's at the back somewhere. Oh is
27:28
Speaker 1: this it? Langley and Field sardines. That's it. Martin began
27:32
Speaker 1: to read Langley and Field sardines. When you want the daintiest,
27:36
Speaker 1: most delicious sardines, go to your grocer and say Langley
27:39
Speaker 1: and Fields please, and you will then be sure of
27:42
Speaker 1: having the finest Norwegian smoked sardines packed and the purest
27:45
Speaker 1: alive oil. Elsa was sitting with her eyes closed and
27:49
Speaker 1: a soft smile of pleasure curving her mouth. Go on,
27:52
Speaker 1: she said, dreamily. Nothing nicer, resumed Martin, with an added
27:56
Speaker 1: touch of eloquence, as the theme began to develop. For
27:59
Speaker 1: Breck his lunch or supper, probably your grocer's stocks them.
28:02
Speaker 1: Ask him if he does not write to us. Price
28:05
Speaker 1: fivepence per ten the best sardines and the best oil.
28:10
Speaker 1: Isn't it lovely? She murmured. Her hand as it swung
28:14
Speaker 1: touched his. He held it. She opened her eyes. Don't
28:18
Speaker 1: stop reading, she said, I never heard anything so soothing, Elsa.
28:23
Speaker 1: He bent toward her. She smiled at him. Her eyes
28:26
Speaker 1: were dancing, Elsa, I, mister Keith said, A quiet voice
28:31
Speaker 1: desired me to say. Martin started away. He glaied up furiously.
28:36
Speaker 1: Gazing down upon them stood Kegs. The butler's face was
28:40
Speaker 1: shining with a gentle benevolence. Mister Keith desired me to
28:44
Speaker 1: say that he would be glad if miss Elsa would
28:46
Speaker 1: come and sit with him for a while. Oh, I'll
28:49
Speaker 1: come at once, said Elsa, stepping from the hammock. The
28:52
Speaker 1: butler bowed respectfully and turned away. They stood watching him
28:56
Speaker 1: as he moved across the ternice. What a seat the
29:00
Speaker 1: old man Keg's looks, said Elsie. Don't you think so?
29:04
Speaker 1: He looks as if he had never ever thought of
29:06
Speaker 1: doing anything he shouldn't. I wonder if he ever has, yes,
29:12
Speaker 1: said Martin. I wonder he looks like a stout angel.
29:17
Speaker 1: What were you saying, Martin? When he came up? End
29:22
Speaker 1: of story eleven The Good Angel recording by Mike Harris,