Latest / The Everyday Awesome Project / 66: Build Your Tribe, Change Your Life: Community and Consistency with Tanya Rooney

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66: Build Your Tribe, Change Your Life: Community and Consistency with Tanya Rooney · The Everyday Awesome Project

• 0:27
  Samantha Pruitt: hey, superstars, welcome back Polly here and sam pruitt.
• 0:30
  Samantha Pruitt: What's up?
• 0:30
  Samantha Pruitt: Beautiful humans and we hey, who's that?
• 0:34
  Polly Mertens: wait, we have someone joining us today, our first guest of the year.
• 0:38
  Polly Mertens: I am so excited.
• 0:39
  Polly Mertens: This is actually a good friend of mine.
• 0:41
  Polly Mertens: I'm'm happy to introduce Tanya Rooney.
• 0:43
  Polly Mertens: Welcome, tanya.
• 0:51
  Polly Mertens: Oh, hey, ladies, so Tanya has been a friend of mine that I knew, so she'll tell us about herself.
• 0:53
  Polly Mertens: But I know her as a couple of things.
• 0:54
  Polly Mertens: One is badass real estate investor, so we met about four or five years ago I think it was flipping houses of all things, traveling across the country going to these mastermind events, and Tanya is just the big capital F word, one of our favorite F words fun, fun, fun, right.
• 1:08
  Polly Mertens: So I like saw her in a room and I was like she's fun, okay.
• 1:12
  Polly Mertens: And so we've just we've stayed friends and we have fellow, you know travel bug, adventures we talk about and stuff.
• 1:19
  Polly Mertens: So, tanya, thank you for joining us today and we look forward to getting to know you and sharing you with our audience.
• 1:25
  Tanya Rooney: Yeah, I'm stoked to be here.
• 1:26
  Tanya Rooney: I appreciate the invite and I love talking to people about everything, so let's go and I heard your story.
• 1:33
  Samantha Pruitt: Just a brief summary.
• 1:34
  Samantha Pruitt: I'm going to get to know you today as well, but I feel like you're a real visionary and there's nothing we get more fired about these days than visionaries who are actually not just dreaming and visioning but executing like the real deal and in a way that's really having a positive impact.
• 1:55
  Tanya Rooney: So why don't you unpack a little bit of your story for our listeners?
• 1:58
  Tanya Rooney: Yeah, so I'm going to try to keep this part brief because I don't know, I guess you guys probably have the same thing, that you could talk about a lot of different things that have happened.
• 2:14
  Tanya Rooney: So about 15 years ago I like I think that's probably about when I graduated college and I hopped into a job.
• 2:16
  Tanya Rooney: That I really didn't, I just needed a job.
• 2:18
  Tanya Rooney: It actually didn't matter to me.
• 2:20
  Tanya Rooney: It was about 2010, 2009.
• 2:22
  Tanya Rooney: So I just needed a job and it happened to be at a commercial real estate company.
• 2:27
  Tanya Rooney: I started out in like a shared services team just doing wires for really big property managers Like truly, that's that's kind of how I started.
• 2:34
  Tanya Rooney: And then I was talking to some HR people at that company and I was like, well, I really like what is project management?
• 2:41
  Tanya Rooney: Like I did not know what project management was, but I was like that sounds like a great job.
• 2:45
  Tanya Rooney: Let's do that, because I just didn't really want to be on my shared services team anymore.
• 2:49
  Tanya Rooney: She actually had told me she deterred me.
• 2:51
  Tanya Rooney: She's like, hey, yeah, like they don't really ever have openings.
• 2:54
  Tanya Rooney: I don't like you should probably look for something else.
• 2:56
  Tanya Rooney: You know still at the company, but maybe you should look for something else.
• 3:00
  Tanya Rooney: And then, seriously, within two months, something had posted.
• 3:03
  Tanya Rooney: I got an interview.
• 3:04
  Tanya Rooney: I didn't.
• 3:07
  Tanya Rooney: I was actually hired but didn't know about it for probably four or five weeks.
• 3:11
  Tanya Rooney: I had started following up with the people.
• 3:13
  Tanya Rooney: It was literally I was on the fifth floor or whatever and they were on the second floor and I had like followed up and I'm just like hey, is anything ever gonna happen to us?
• 3:20
  Tanya Rooney: And she's like, oh, she hasn't told you.
• 3:22
  Tanya Rooney: Yeah, like we're going to hire you, we just need to find a start date.
• 3:25
  Tanya Rooney: It's like okay, and that was kind of like my entrance into a pretty chaotic world.
• 3:30
  Tanya Rooney: Actually, at first it was a little bit I'll just call it a little bumpy in the beginning because I was just learning how to do some things.
• 3:36
  Tanya Rooney: So I was like on a project management team and what project management means to me, because I've also found out all these years like it's not the same to everybody, like some people automatically think of IT, some people automatically think of construction, some people automatically think, just fill in the blank, there's tons of them.
• 3:53
  Tanya Rooney: So what I did was commercial real estate or corporate real estate, project management.
• 3:56
  Tanya Rooney: So at first I was on a shared services team but I ended up growing up into a project manager and what I did was help commercial real estate people.
• 4:06
  Tanya Rooney: So maybe somebody that's moving into the eighth floor of whatever high rise is in the area and they need to find an architect to design their space, they need to find a general contractor to actually do all of it, they need to put furniture in it, they need to move into that space and they need to get rid of that stuff at their old space and close down their old space.
• 4:23
  Tanya Rooney: So I would do scope, schedule and budget of that whole entire like chunk of everything.
• 4:31
  Tanya Rooney: And I did it at a really big commercial real estate company that's global.
• 4:35
  Tanya Rooney: You know there's over 70,000 people that work there.
• 4:37
  Tanya Rooney: It's called Seabury.
• 4:39
  Tanya Rooney: So I worked for them for like 10 years and then I like, probably at about year eight, I was kind of feeling grumpy we'll call it on a Saturday because I was texting with a with a.
• 4:53
  Tanya Rooney: I wasn't texting with a client, I was actually texting with another service provider, so like a mover, and the client was asking us to award a project to two different vendors so that we could save some money, and the money was $2,000 on like an $8 million project, and it was really annoying to me because I'm like this is going to make everything harder.
• 5:14
  Tanya Rooney: Why don't we just see if they'll, you know, cut $2,000 off of their price?
• 5:17
  Tanya Rooney: But he didn't want that, so we had to have two different vendors for a piece of scope.
• 5:21
  Tanya Rooney: That was very easily just one vendor.
• 5:25
  Tanya Rooney: So I was really irritated because I'm like this is Saturday, like what am I doing?
• 5:27
  Tanya Rooney: This is so stupid.
• 5:28
  Tanya Rooney: So I messaged a friend from the gym that kept telling me I should flip houses and I'm like what should I do if I want to flip a house?
• 5:36
  Tanya Rooney: And she told me to start listening to a podcast called Bigger Pockets.
• 5:41
  Tanya Rooney: Now, bigger Pockets is like this huge thing.
• 5:42
  Tanya Rooney: It's a lot of, a lot of real estate investors.
• 5:44
  Tanya Rooney: That's where they go to learn.
• 5:46
  Tanya Rooney: So I binge podcasts, for I mean honestly, I probably binged them for 10 months, but I had a house within three months of when I sent that text message.
• 5:53
  Tanya Rooney: I'm just like so we just started making offers and started flipping houses and I just kind of realized that I didn't.
• 5:59
  Tanya Rooney: I didn't want to get punched in the gut by big, huge corporate clients in the way that I'm just like $2,000.
• 6:06
  Tanya Rooney: What Like this is so stupid.
• 6:08
  Tanya Rooney: Everything makes it harder and I just kind of was like that was my breaking point.
• 6:11
  Tanya Rooney: So I started flipping houses and doing some more things, but I was able to quit my corporate job, you know, within a year or two of that and just yeah.
• 6:20
  Tanya Rooney: So that, in a nutshell, is at least how I learned how to be, I guess, an adult, because I had to have a 40 hour a week job was through that experience.
• 6:33
  Tanya Rooney: Well, lesson number one don't listen to.
• 6:35
  Samantha Pruitt: HR.
• 6:35
  Samantha Pruitt: How many people literally let their whole career trajectory operate around an HR department where maybe they even never have met those people?
• 6:43
  Samantha Pruitt: They're applying for jobs or putting their resume out, whatever they're getting blown off, whatever all is going on out there, and or they get into a company that they care about, they're committed to.
• 6:53
  Samantha Pruitt: You know they're in the process and that person is controlling, if you will, opportunity or lack thereof.
• 6:59
  Samantha Pruitt: I mean, this person basically said don't bother and you're like fuck it, I'm going.
• 7:04
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, it's a bias.
• 7:07
  Tanya Rooney: Actually, sam, it's a really good point.
• 7:08
  Tanya Rooney: I've never thought of that, that they have like an automatic bias.
• 7:11
  Tanya Rooney: If you are deciding that, whatever, let's just assume a lot of people do have corporate jobs, because they do.
• 7:16
  Tanya Rooney: They might work at a tiny little company of only 10 people.
• 7:19
  Tanya Rooney: They might work at one with 75,000 people, no matter what.
• 7:23
  Tanya Rooney: That HR company is biased to their company Cause they it's their job as HR to keep you, to retain you, because of how much it costs to actually hire somebody, cause it's like I think it's like $150,000 to technically hire somebody and it's about like I know that's that's a corporate number, but it's about how much lost time you have after you train somebody.
• 7:42
  Tanya Rooney: So if somebody only lasts a year in a corporate job, you are losing a lot of money because now you have to retrain somebody and that might take another six to eight months and then you have HR actually trying to hire.
• 7:53
  Tanya Rooney: But all of that to say HR is biased, if you're ever putting that decision in someone else's hands, you're fucking crazy, don't do it, Because nobody we only care about ourselves.
• 8:04
  Tanya Rooney: Guys Like I don't care if you care about everybody in the world, we still in the end, have to care about ourselves somehow.
• 8:11
  Samantha Pruitt: And who knows you better than you right, your skills, your capabilities, your potential?
• 8:18
  Samantha Pruitt: Not somebody, I mean.
• 8:20
  Samantha Pruitt: I'm sure they're all wonderful people, but they don't really know you and they don't really understand how you're trying to navigate your own life.
• 8:26
  Samantha Pruitt: They're not there for that Right.
• 8:28
  Samantha Pruitt: They're there to fill whatever their role is.
• 8:31
  Tanya Rooney: So yeah, and you should still take their advice.
• 8:33
  Tanya Rooney: I mean, it's not the worst thing.
• 8:35
  Tanya Rooney: But yeah, it is maybe.
• 8:37
  Tanya Rooney: But I mean they can help you develop and stuff.
• 8:39
  Tanya Rooney: But just know that in the end, like it's your decision and it's your life, and whatever they say is, yeah, maybe, don't listen.
• 8:47
  Tanya Rooney: I was very I was like what the heck?
• 8:48
  Tanya Rooney: Like I already got a job, like within six months of that conversation.
• 8:51
  Tanya Rooney: I had a job with project management.
• 8:52
  Tanya Rooney: So I'm like okay.
• 8:54
  Samantha Pruitt: And then number two was, you know, getting uncomfortable on a Saturday because you realized what the job was turning into and you're like, I'm sorry, is this what I'm doing with my life?
• 9:03
  Samantha Pruitt: This is what we're doing now.
• 9:05
  Polly Mertens: No.
• 9:05
  Tanya Rooney: Yeah.
• 9:05
  Tanya Rooney: Yeah, it was just kind of like a.
• 9:07
  Tanya Rooney: You know I don't want to.
• 9:11
  Samantha Pruitt: Because, we're made for more.
• 9:14
  Polly Mertens: We're made for and what's so great is like you knew that inherently and that was just like a little tiny, the big enough nudge to go ah, not doing this yeah, let's try some.
• 9:26
  Tanya Rooney: let's just try something else.
• 9:27
  Tanya Rooney: Like the worst that it could happen, honestly, like fast forward a few years and I actually quit my job.
• 9:30
  Tanya Rooney: It's like all the conversations we have is the worst that could happen is you have to go get another job.
• 9:35
  Tanya Rooney: That's really not that fucking bad like, out of the, out of all the things like that's it like I'm not.
• 9:41
  Tanya Rooney: I'm not a neurosurgeon, I'm not a doctor.
• 9:44
  Tanya Rooney: People aren't gonna die.
• 9:46
  Tanya Rooney: If I, for most of the things that I do like 99.9 of the things that are in my life, like people aren't gonna die.
• 9:52
  Tanya Rooney: So the worst that could happen is I like go bankrupt and have to go get a job and that's really not that hard 100.
• 9:58
  Polly Mertens: So so you and you, not only did you get into real estate, you jumped, you know feet first, you know flipping real estate, you jumped, you know feed first, you know flipping houses.
• 10:06
  Polly Mertens: Join this big mastermind.
• 10:08
  Polly Mertens: You're just going, going, going.
• 10:09
  Polly Mertens: Was your husband in it full-time also, or did?
• 10:11
  Polly Mertens: Was it you full-time and he was kind of part-time?
• 10:14
  Polly Mertens: I forget if you guys were doing it together.
• 10:16
  Tanya Rooney: So, uh, the first house we flipped, he we probably flipped uh, maybe like 50 to 60% of it, like, as in, we did the work and then.
• 10:26
  Tanya Rooney: So he did do stuff, but that was nights and weekends.
• 10:29
  Tanya Rooney: He still has his job.
• 10:31
  Tanya Rooney: He is a union crane operator, so he still works in the construction industry to this day.
• 10:36
  Tanya Rooney: He takes, he takes a month or two off here and there and we'll work on a project or we'll go somewhere.
• 10:42
  Tanya Rooney: But he was at least into the idea.
• 10:44
  Tanya Rooney: I've pushed him so far past his comfort zone in the last and we've been together for 17 years, so the last 16 years I've pushed him so far past his comfort zone that he is now like on board with all the things.
• 10:58
  Tanya Rooney: And he's the one that convinces me like the worst that could happen is we lose all of our money and we have to get a job, I have to get a job, so that's so he's on board is really what is happening.
• 11:14
  Polly Mertens: It's a team.
• 11:14
  Polly Mertens: You know like you guys are definitely a team.
• 11:15
  Polly Mertens: You know, team Rooney, it's so good, it's so good, so you do that and then out of it.
• 11:18
  Polly Mertens: I don't know if it was.
• 11:19
  Polly Mertens: Was it an accidental move into short-term rentals, or was it purposeful, or like, how did the short-term rental because that was your next phase that you're like, fully thrived in that when you went into that?
• 11:29
  Polly Mertens: So tell me about that.
• 11:31
  Tanya Rooney: Yeah, that was a house that I just wasn't selling for what we wanted.
• 11:34
  Tanya Rooney: A friend like you had mentioned the mastermind thing.
• 11:37
  Tanya Rooney: So when I don't know what I'm doing, or if I know, like, hey, I'm into this, let's figure out how to do it better or at scale of any kind, so I can quit a job, I will join a mastermind to figure out how to do that.
• 11:49
  Tanya Rooney: So I joined a group called Seven Figure Flipping.
• 11:51
  Tanya Rooney: I learned how to flip houses.
• 11:52
  Tanya Rooney: I learned how to raise money.
• 11:54
  Tanya Rooney: I learned how to just do things more efficiently and at scale if I wanted to.
• 11:59
  Tanya Rooney: So because of that, I tend to make a lot of friends, because I really like people.
• 12:04
  Tanya Rooney: People are definitely my superpower.
• 12:05
  Tanya Rooney: So I was telling one of my friends from that flipping group I'm just like, man, this house isn't selling.
• 12:12
  Tanya Rooney: Somebody wants to do a contract for deed, but it was a really crappy deal for me.
• 12:15
  Tanya Rooney: So I found out more and more.
• 12:17
  Tanya Rooney: And then he's like well, tanya, haven't you run numbers to turn into an Airbnb?
• 12:21
  Tanya Rooney: And I'm like, what is that?
• 12:22
  Tanya Rooney: What is, what does that mean?
• 12:23
  Tanya Rooney: And he hopped on a call with me, kind of showed me all the things he's like.
• 12:26
  Tanya Rooney: Well, even if you only make a portion of this.
• 12:28
  Tanya Rooney: He's like that's still pretty good money and I was like, yeah, actually it is.
• 12:31
  Tanya Rooney: So I hopped in in 2020, which is not always.
• 12:37
  Tanya Rooney: It's like it's a weird time.
• 12:39
  Tanya Rooney: Yes, it wasn't in February of 2020.
• 12:41
  Tanya Rooney: It was at the end of 2020.
• 12:43
  Tanya Rooney: So things were already kind of like they were super open, but it was still okay.
• 12:47
  Tanya Rooney: So I hopped into it then and I haven't looked back Like I don't flip anymore because flipping is really not my jam.
• 12:53
  Tanya Rooney: It stresses me out, like it puts a strain on my marriage, because I just like take all of that in and I just keep it.
• 13:00
  Tanya Rooney: And then I you know word vomit at my husband.
• 13:02
  Tanya Rooney: So I stopped doing the flipping stuff because it's not my favorite part of real estate.
• 13:07
  Tanya Rooney: So I went full in on, you know, short-term rentals and we just sold one.
• 13:13
  Tanya Rooney: But otherwise we have a portfolio of four properties in Minneapolis and St Paul and their city stays and yeah, I've been doing that for a while and I love it.
• 13:21
  Polly Mertens: Like I mean, hospitality is totally up my alley, so it's been really, really fun to figure out and then you, and then you dive in and you join a mastermind or you create it.
• 13:31
  Tanya Rooney: You joined, didn't create the short-term rental mastermind, but I mean like I'm in a short-term rental mastermind, like I like I said, if I'm into something like I'm going to go find the people that are doing it and I don't necessarily go to anybody local.
• 13:44
  Tanya Rooney: Like I still have short-term rental friends locally.
• 13:46
  Tanya Rooney: But like it's so interesting to be part of a group where there's people from all over the country because you can see different pulses and you get completely different ideas.
• 13:57
  Tanya Rooney: Like some of these people have been doing it for 20 years.
• 13:59
  Tanya Rooney: Some have only been doing it for a year or two, so I've got friends like that.
• 14:03
  Tanya Rooney: But then usually when I join a group I end up like making a smaller group within that.
• 14:07
  Tanya Rooney: Like I like bring people in and I I like to tell people I force friendship.
• 14:11
  Tanya Rooney: But I think in the end that's not a force anymore because I'll I'll like make it.
• 14:17
  Samantha Pruitt: It's a force field.
• 14:20
  Tanya Rooney: It's something I'm bringing a bit Cause they're like, yeah, I want to be part of that, and sometimes they're not convinced at the first few messages, so then they have to wait and sit on the sideline and then all of a sudden they're like, oh, I want to be in that.
• 14:30
  Tanya Rooney: So I've got a couple of friends that you know.
• 14:33
  Tanya Rooney: We created a smaller group.
• 14:34
  Tanya Rooney: It started out as an accountability group so we talked every single week and honestly, we talked daily as well, like in a text message string, but we would talk every week about some goals and then about, like, just talk shop.
• 14:45
  Tanya Rooney: And now it's turned into most of them end up turning into what I call a coffee club.
• 14:50
  Tanya Rooney: So we just like meet maybe once a month or something online.
• 14:53
  Tanya Rooney: So I just got back from a conference and I stayed with six of them, so that was fantastic.
• 14:59
  Tanya Rooney: So we just talk business and we talk family stuff.
• 15:02
  Tanya Rooney: A lot of my real estate friends become daily friends, like we're literally talking multiple times every single day, and that's kind of what happened with short-term rental land.
• 15:11
  Tanya Rooney: So I piece off these groups, but then further like the next thing I started was a podcast called Tribe Builders and it's all about why it's important for small business owners to have a tribe and it's about like best practices, like these really cool things that we all are doing but nobody really knows.
• 15:30
  Tanya Rooney: And then you find out these things and then you get to make like a better, better business because of it.
• 15:34
  Tanya Rooney: You have people to support you because if you're listening and you don't have a business, your business friend that does have a business doesn't know how to talk to you in certain circumstances because people want to just hop on board.
• 15:48
  Tanya Rooney: Like my husband is my biggest cheerleader.
• 15:50
  Tanya Rooney: He wants to hop on board anytime I'm mad or annoyed about something.
• 15:54
  Tanya Rooney: He's like yeah, I hate that too and I hate them.
• 15:57
  Tanya Rooney: And yeah, and I need somebody on the other side being like hey, quit being a drama queen and this is how you fix this, and like that kind of stuff.
• 16:06
  Tanya Rooney: So I'm such a big cheerleader for people building a tribe around, whatever they're doing.
• 16:12
  Tanya Rooney: I don't actually care if it's just I mean business, mom's club, soccer mom, uh, like a sport, it doesn't actually matter what it is, you just need to have people that love those things.
• 16:21
  Tanya Rooney: And the joy, like your joy, skyrockets when stuff like this happens because you're just like.
• 16:27
  Tanya Rooney: It's like why people talk about CrossFit.
• 16:29
  Tanya Rooney: I did CrossFit for a few years and I'm totally one of those kinds of people Like you're just like I want to talk about CrossFit.
• 16:35
  Tanya Rooney: I want to eat like a CrossFitter.
• 16:37
  Tanya Rooney: I want to talk about CrossFit to anybody that will listen to me.
• 16:40
  Tanya Rooney: I want to hang out with my CrossFit friends.
• 16:42
  Tanya Rooney: I want to lift weights, like all these things.
• 16:44
  Tanya Rooney: You just get really jacked up and you'll do better because you're around like-minded people and the same as in business, short-term rentals.
• 16:51
  Tanya Rooney: I mean literally all the things that we do.
• 16:53
  Tanya Rooney: You're just like hey, let's have friends that do this too.
• 16:56
  Tanya Rooney: And then all of a sudden you're like this is the best.
• 17:00
  Samantha Pruitt: So, yeah, yeah, it's that camaraderie connection.
• 17:03
  Samantha Pruitt: I was just having coffee with my CrossFit gals this morning, which is a group of women and we call ourselves the Badass Babes, because that's legit.
• 17:10
  Samantha Pruitt: All different ages, but mostly from 50 to 70 years old.
• 17:15
  Polly Mertens: Awesome and doing.
• 17:16
  Samantha Pruitt: CrossFit on the regular, like and just the connection, like we're all the same person in this way, you know, and it's really powerful, You've hurt together.
• 17:26
  Tanya Rooney: Coach.
• 17:26
  Samantha Pruitt: Sam, you've hurt together.
• 17:28
  Tanya Rooney: That is the reason that CrossFit people love each other is they're like I know how much that hurts, like when you have to do 70 wall balls, like they know.
• 17:35
  Tanya Rooney: So you just like there's this beautiful community that comes together in that form because they're just trying to encourage each other.
• 17:42
  Tanya Rooney: Yes, there's tons of competition, but in the end people still like they'll literally go and cheer for you.
• 17:49
  Tanya Rooney: So you finish your workout Like how strange is that?
• 17:51
  Tanya Rooney: If you've, if you've never done it, it's, it's not strange, it's amazing.
• 17:55
  Tanya Rooney: But it's strange from an outside point of view.
• 17:58
  Samantha Pruitt: Totally, totally and Polly and I call it the A-team basically finding that core group of individuals who are equally invested in your success, like they want you to fucking win Legit, like it's not competitive, it's like if you're winning, I'm winning, we're going to do this together, even though you could be completely in separate places doing separate things.
• 18:16
  Samantha Pruitt: It's just that connection around support and camaraderie and just like-mindedness and the right energy right to create winning.
• 18:26
  Tanya Rooney: Yeah, like who else?
• 18:28
  Tanya Rooney: Who else is going to get excited about duvet covers or like a new way to pack toilet paper?
• 18:34
  Tanya Rooney: Like your parents or your friends from back home, they don't care about things like that.
• 18:38
  Tanya Rooney: But you find somebody else.
• 18:40
  Tanya Rooney: Oh my, you're going to literally talk about duvet covers or quilts for like 45 minutes at a go.
• 18:46
  Tanya Rooney: Like this is the silly things, but that's why it works so well is like Sam, I heard you're a runner.
• 18:52
  Tanya Rooney: I know you're a runner.
• 18:53
  Tanya Rooney: You could talk to me about running and I'm going to be like, oh neat, I think that's really cool for you.
• 18:59
  Tanya Rooney: Like I'm not super interested in it but I do like to encourage people.
• 19:02
  Tanya Rooney: So you know you'll at least get a little bit out of me.
• 19:04
  Tanya Rooney: But you start talking to me about, you know, investing in real estate and you're I'm like off to the races.
• 19:10
  Tanya Rooney: So that's kind of that difference is like that the people from you know maybe you grew up with.
• 19:15
  Tanya Rooney: They're great, like they still have a place in your life.
• 19:17
  Tanya Rooney: But it's a different place in your life because you can have different conversations that are going to light you up and make you more excited and make you think differently.
• 19:24
  Tanya Rooney: I want to.
• 19:27
  Polly Mertens: I want to double click on something that you mentioned as a part of this, and one of the things that Sam him and I have coached people in business and personal and stuff like that and one of the things that people really get value out of coaching is accountability, and what I think you're creating in your groups is like group accountability, or it could is like group accountability or it could be like micro accountability, right, and you, my friend, are the accountability queen, tanya.
• 19:50
  Polly Mertens: Like I wanted to like, highlight and share with people.
• 19:53
  Polly Mertens: So I think I'm pretty good at creating some habits over here, okay, but like Tanya has me beat on a couple big time, big time couple big time big time big time, so tell me yes, I do.
• 20:06
  Tanya Rooney: I know she gets called out about these, so share with us.
• 20:10
  Polly Mertens: I don't know, if you want to start with like the first one you ever did, or the top five right now.
• 20:14
  Tanya Rooney: Okay, oh, I'm on day 2,600 and I'm going to, I'm going to go with 77.
• 20:21
  Tanya Rooney: I'm almost at 2,700 days of doing something every single day.
• 20:25
  Tanya Rooney: It's called a miracle morning and I do some variation of this thing, which is it's silence.
• 20:32
  Tanya Rooney: So it's meditating, affirmations, visualization, a little bit of exercise, reading and journaling.
• 20:39
  Samantha Pruitt: Wait, all that shit's happening in the morning.
• 20:41
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, how much time do you allow?
• 20:42
  Tanya Rooney: No, I actually don't.
• 20:44
  Tanya Rooney: I don't do it in the morning.
• 20:45
  Tanya Rooney: I give myself the time I'm awake, so like 24 hours essentially.
• 20:49
  Tanya Rooney: A lot of times it happens before bed.
• 20:51
  Tanya Rooney: But I do it whenever, and it could be like some days it's only a minute each, because that's all I freaking have time for, and that's been something that I've been able to structure, however the heck I want, because they're my habits, they're not somebody else's.
• 21:03
  Tanya Rooney: I learned them from a book.
• 21:05
  Tanya Rooney: There's a dude named Hal Elrod, the Miracle Morning.
• 21:07
  Tanya Rooney: The reason he did it, like he literally I think he like taught himself how to walk.
• 21:10
  Tanya Rooney: They said he was never going to walk again and like he walks now.
• 21:13
  Tanya Rooney: And now he has a big, huge business around like this kind of stuff.
• 21:16
  Tanya Rooney: So I'm on like that, that's a big know.
• 21:26
  Tanya Rooney: I've meditated every day for the last, you know, like six years or something.
• 21:28
  Tanya Rooney: And and then there's these micro things, though, that Polly is talking about.
• 21:31
  Tanya Rooney: So a few years ago I was in this mastermind, the flipping mastermind, and you know, somebody's husband was going to jog every day from Memorial Day to Labor Day.
• 21:39
  Tanya Rooney: Like that's how it started.
• 21:40
  Tanya Rooney: I was like, oh, yeah, what's that?
• 21:42
  Tanya Rooney: Like, tell me more.
• 21:42
  Tanya Rooney: I was like, yeah, okay, I could do that.
• 21:44
  Tanya Rooney: Like that's how it started.
• 21:45
  Tanya Rooney: I was like, oh, yeah, what's that?
• 21:46
  Tanya Rooney: Like, tell me more.
• 21:47
  Tanya Rooney: And I was like, yeah, okay, I could do that.
• 21:49
  Tanya Rooney: Like it's, jog a mile every single day.
• 21:50
  Tanya Rooney: And so I started that and I got, I, and then I, and then I got to that point and I, like, I get to a point, I'm just like, well, I'm on a streak, like I'm going to do for a year, and then I almost got to a year.
• 22:04
  Tanya Rooney: I was a month away and then I had like something on my foot that I had to get removed, so I couldn't walk, so I had to stop.
• 22:12
  Tanya Rooney: So I had to stop for about five weeks and then I started again.
• 22:16
  Tanya Rooney: I started at the beginning of May and I was.
• 22:17
  Tanya Rooney: So I did a full year.
• 22:18
  Tanya Rooney: I did a mile every day, and then I and I adjusted that one too as well, to be I just needed to get a mile in.
• 22:23
  Tanya Rooney: If I biked, it needed to be five, but a mile in and it could be walking, jogging, right, it didn't matter, it was just get a mile in.
• 22:30
  Tanya Rooney: So that happened.
• 22:32
  Tanya Rooney: Um, and then after that I realized I wanted to do something else.
• 22:36
  Tanya Rooney: I was like, well, I already kind of know I can do this, so what should I do next?
• 22:40
  Tanya Rooney: So the next thing was write a thank you card every day for a year, so for 365 days I wrote a thank you card every day.
• 22:53
  Tanya Rooney: I had rules yeah, I know I had rules around this that I couldn't send it to one the same person in one month.
• 22:55
  Tanya Rooney: So a couple people did get multiples but it was about like I saw them, you know, these months.
• 22:59
  Tanya Rooney: So I was kind of like talking to them about it.
• 23:01
  Tanya Rooney: But then I had to dig deep and be like I thanked friends, parents for things, or like I sent some letter.
• 23:07
  Tanya Rooney: I like I sent one to one of my, my fourth grade teacher, because I still think about my fourth grade teacher, like there there's a certain point where you have to figure out, like who helped shape your life.
• 23:16
  Tanya Rooney: Yeah, and that all happened because of a guy in project management that I met at CBRE, like I was.
• 23:22
  Tanya Rooney: I sent him a thank you card because I had realized he was the reason I interacted with contractors a certain way and he made me like a better person.
• 23:32
  Tanya Rooney: He absolutely did.
• 23:33
  Tanya Rooney: He scared the hell out of me, honestly, but he made me a better project manager because of the ways he did things.
• 23:37
  Tanya Rooney: I it trickled down to me so I knew things I had to do.
• 23:40
  Tanya Rooney: So I sent him a thank you card just just randomly.
• 23:42
  Tanya Rooney: I was just like, hey, you know what you like changed the way, the way that I do things, like I'm a good project manager and I'm good with contractors because of you.
• 23:49
  Tanya Rooney: So he sent that or he, he got that and he actually texted me and he was just like, wow, that was like one of the nicest cards I've ever gotten.
• 23:56
  Tanya Rooney: Like thank you for sending that.
• 23:57
  Tanya Rooney: Like that was that was really great.
• 23:58
  Tanya Rooney: So that spurred the thank you card every day, cause I was like could you imagine the ripple effect?
• 24:03
  Tanya Rooney: Because I helped his day get better, but then that meant he was better around his wife that day, around his clients that day.
• 24:11
  Tanya Rooney: Like literally there's a ripple effect.
• 24:12
  Tanya Rooney: You could change somebody's day just because they walked to that mailbox and found this piece of paper from you.
• 24:18
  Tanya Rooney: And text messages work and voice texts work, but like a handwritten card is something people might not save it but they might save forever, like literally ever.
• 24:29
  Tanya Rooney: And so it was just that was that was.
• 24:31
  Tanya Rooney: That was what it was about was the ripple effect of like how you can change one person's day and then, if you can, spur three other people to write thank you notes for 30 days, now all of a sudden there's, you know, 150 people that you have just touched because of the one idea that you had, and same with the mile a day.
• 24:47
  Tanya Rooney: I got so many.
• 24:49
  Tanya Rooney: I still get questions or text messages like hey, are you still doing that?
• 24:52
  Tanya Rooney: By the way, I'm not doing it, I've got it, but people would ask.
• 24:57
  Tanya Rooney: Yeah, I totally have.
• 24:58
  Tanya Rooney: But people would ask are you still doing that?
• 25:00
  Tanya Rooney: Like, you got me and my wife out every day in COVID because I saw that you were doing it and I was like I could do a mile a day and we could just talk.
• 25:08
  Tanya Rooney: So like people really like started doing stuff like that and I still have people that reach out to me and be like, hey, I'm going to start a mile a day, I'm gonna do it for a year and you know, you do it rain or snow and I live in Minnesota.
• 25:18
  Tanya Rooney: It gets sometimes negative 30 here, but we still, we, we made a commitment so I did it and um, and then I think last year it was just I just didn't want to drink alcohol for a whole entire year.
• 25:30
  Tanya Rooney: So I haven't drank alcohol since November of 2023.
• 25:34
  Tanya Rooney: Cause I just haven't had a.
• 25:35
  Tanya Rooney: I didn't care to this year so far.
• 25:37
  Tanya Rooney: And then this year I'm doing gluten-free for a whole year, like so no gluten for the whole year.
• 25:43
  Tanya Rooney: And then I'm doing 1,000 hours outside.
• 25:47
  Tanya Rooney: So it's kind of like a bigger.
• 25:48
  Tanya Rooney: I was actually scared to do a couple of things.
• 25:50
  Tanya Rooney: I had some conversations with my husband in December and I'm just like I don't know, like the no alcohol was really freaking easy.
• 25:56
  Tanya Rooney: Like it was like there was only a few times that really like kind of ugh to me, but mostly it was fine.
• 26:02
  Tanya Rooney: So I'm like I feel like I need to do something at least a little bit harder.
• 26:05
  Tanya Rooney: And the gluten-free thing is pretty hard.
• 26:06
  Tanya Rooney: Like that means no cookies.
• 26:08
  Tanya Rooney: It means if you have a crappy day and you're not going to eat till 10 PM, guess what?
• 26:13
  Tanya Rooney: There are no drive-thrus that are going to give you anything that's worth anything.
• 26:17
  Tanya Rooney: Like you have to figure out other things.
• 26:21
  Tanya Rooney: And then the thousand hours outside.
• 26:22
  Tanya Rooney: Like I have a friend who it's it's, it's honestly a kid's challenge to try to get your kids to not be in front of a screen all the time and to have them go outside and do things.
• 26:30
  Tanya Rooney: So I'm like I should just try that.
• 26:32
  Tanya Rooney: And so like it's, it's literally finding opportunities on things you're already doing.
• 26:37
  Tanya Rooney: Like if I'm sitting on the couch reading, why wouldn't I go outside and read?
• 26:40
  Tanya Rooney: And right now it's cold out.
• 26:42
  Tanya Rooney: That's why, because Minnesota is silly, but soon it's going to be like, okay, we're going to spend six hours outside or I already have plans to go biking a lot more this year and do like you know a couple of 60 mile days and things like that.
• 26:54
  Tanya Rooney: That it's like, well, I just will be outside for this.
• 26:56
  Tanya Rooney: So it's finding something that are that does scare me a little and that I can tell everybody that I'm doing, cause I tell everybody on social media and then and then people ask me about it.
• 27:07
  Tanya Rooney: So there's like an automatic accountability.
• 27:10
  Tanya Rooney: When I make a decision, it's just like, oh, I flipped a switch.
• 27:12
  Tanya Rooney: This is like there's, this is the decision it was made.
• 27:15
  Tanya Rooney: It's not like a waffling thing, it's that's what I'm doing now.
• 27:18
  Tanya Rooney: So that's my like and I so I so I stack on to habits, like some of that, and it's kind of intense sometimes.
• 27:27
  Samantha Pruitt: It sounds like it can be a little intense, but for the listener, why is this so important?
• 27:33
  Samantha Pruitt: Why do you feel the need to?
• 27:36
  Samantha Pruitt: Whether you're stacking them or just picking one and sticking to it.
• 27:39
  Samantha Pruitt: What does that teach you about yourself?
• 27:43
  Tanya Rooney: that you can do it.
• 27:44
  Tanya Rooney: You know how many people oh, I could never do that.
• 27:47
  Tanya Rooney: If I have to listen to another person talk about how they couldn't give up dairy for a month or they couldn't not have bread for a month, a month.
• 27:54
  Tanya Rooney: I'm over here like yeah, I could do that for a year and you're bitching about a month like 30 days.
• 28:00
  Tanya Rooney: You can go 30 days without something.
• 28:02
  Tanya Rooney: Quit being a drama queen, like that's the thing is.
• 28:08
  Tanya Rooney: Like you say you can't and you're already telling yourself why you can't.
• 28:10
  Tanya Rooney: Like it's okay.
• 28:10
  Tanya Rooney: Like I try to change perspectives.
• 28:11
  Tanya Rooney: When somebody says that, like hey, it's okay If you want to eat bread every day, like I don't actually care, that's totally your thing.
• 28:17
  Tanya Rooney: But do not say that you can't, because that is BS.
• 28:20
  Tanya Rooney: And you're just telling yourself all these things and congratulations.
• 28:24
  Tanya Rooney: You're going to convince yourself that you can't do things Like what.
• 28:27
  Tanya Rooney: Like if we we have to, we have to become cheerleaders for ourselves.
• 28:31
  Tanya Rooney: Like there's no choice and sometimes we need a leg up from somebody else.
• 28:34
  Tanya Rooney: Like plenty of people will tell me about one of their goals.
• 28:36
  Tanya Rooney: I put it on my calendar and I reach out to them and say, like how is this thing going?
• 28:39
  Tanya Rooney: Because accountability is real.
• 28:41
  Tanya Rooney: I actually am really good at accountability.
• 28:44
  Tanya Rooney: I get people to quit their jobs every year.
• 28:49
  Tanya Rooney: It is the most fun thing.
• 28:49
  Tanya Rooney: And I get these text messages saying, hey, I quit my job and I'm like yes, or I, or I follow up with them.
• 28:53
  Tanya Rooney: I'm like, hey, do you have your quit date?
• 28:55
  Tanya Rooney: Is it still happening?
• 28:55
  Tanya Rooney: On January 1st, january 20th, whatever, and it totally happens.
• 28:59
  Tanya Rooney: But it's like if you're already telling yourself you can't do something like man, your life is a little bit lame.
• 29:06
  Tanya Rooney: Like you can do anything, you just have to freaking, try like 30 days Well it's so disempowering right.
• 29:13
  Samantha Pruitt: They're already surrendering their life before they've even started it.
• 29:18
  Samantha Pruitt: You know they surrender their day.
• 29:20
  Samantha Pruitt: It's a bummer.
• 29:21
  Tanya Rooney: Yes.
• 29:21
  Tanya Rooney: Well, one of my favorite questions to ask people me and my husband ask people like, is the best yet to come?
• 29:28
  Tanya Rooney: And it is seriously disheartening how many people say no, the best is already behind me.
• 29:34
  Tanya Rooney: Like and it's not.
• 29:36
  Tanya Rooney: Like.
• 29:36
  Tanya Rooney: Not everybody says that, but I think there's plenty of people that think, you know, they think of their glory days in high school, their glory days in college, whatever the hell it was.
• 29:44
  Tanya Rooney: Or now they have kids and they're really freaking tired and they're just like man.
• 29:47
  Tanya Rooney: It used to be so much easier.
• 29:49
  Tanya Rooney: I'm like are you kidding?
• 29:50
  Tanya Rooney: Like your kids are going to have kids someday and you get to be around for that.
• 29:54
  Tanya Rooney: Like if you take care of your body and you know don't get hit by a bus.
• 29:57
  Tanya Rooney: But like for real, you to be around for all these things.
• 30:00
  Tanya Rooney: Like if you have already decided the best is behind you.
• 30:02
  Tanya Rooney: What a bummer of a life to live well, it's a bullshit story.
• 30:07
  Tanya Rooney: Oh god, I mean, it's self-perpetuating you know, if that's how they want to choose to do that, but it's a decision somebody made it's a decision gross so you started a podcast, so I'd love to thrive.
• 30:23
  Samantha Pruitt: Builders is the name of the podcast.
• 30:25
  Tanya Rooney: Okay, yes, I've got yep, I, I've got a podcast that we're like 45 weeks in or something like that, so that's another thing.
• 30:31
  Tanya Rooney: Just flip the switch.
• 30:32
  Tanya Rooney: This is what we do now, and we just talk to other people who've started masterminds, started groups or utilize their community to build on their brand, to build on their business, whatever the heck it is.
• 30:44
  Samantha Pruitt: So how does he do it with you?
• 30:45
  Samantha Pruitt: Your husband does it with you, your husband's doing it with you.
• 30:49
  Tanya Rooney: Oh no, he supports all the things that I do.
• 30:54
  Tanya Rooney: But, no, podcasting is my thing for sure.
• 30:56
  Tanya Rooney: Okay, yeah, yeah, Like I mean honestly he would love to be on episodes.
• 31:00
  Tanya Rooney: I haven't figured out how to have two people on an episode in the same room, because I could send him to a different room but then I need to buy another microphone and do all that stuff.
• 31:09
  Tanya Rooney: So I know it's eventually probably going to happen, because some of the stuff that we talk about gets so deep and so like.
• 31:15
  Tanya Rooney: Whoa didn't even think of that kind of perspective and it would be really fun for me to, like you know, tell people about those kinds of conversations.
• 31:24
  Tanya Rooney: We just haven't done it yet and those usually happen on a Saturday in the truck, when we're driving somewhere.
• 31:33
  Samantha Pruitt: That's cool.
• 31:33
  Samantha Pruitt: That's a cool connection, it's so good, it's so good.
• 31:36
  Polly Mertens: So where do you think this Tanya attitude comes from?
• 31:40
  Polly Mertens: Like where does this?
• 31:41
  Polly Mertens: Like we're just going to try it or we're going to give it a go, or you know what's the worst that could happen.
• 31:46
  Polly Mertens: Like is that something that you picked up from your family?
• 31:49
  Polly Mertens: Did you have you always?
• 31:51
  Polly Mertens: I mean like I've always been this way, but like what was it?
• 31:57
  Polly Mertens: You said, that guy in your commercial real estate he, you know, taught you some things.
• 31:59
  Polly Mertens: Do you get this from your dad?
• 32:01
  Tanya Rooney: No, it's definitely no.
• 32:02
  Tanya Rooney: I don't know if my parents would answer that the best is yet to come.
• 32:05
  Tanya Rooney: I'll be honest, my parents are great.
• 32:07
  Tanya Rooney: They gave me a really great life.
• 32:09
  Tanya Rooney: They did the absolute best that they could with how they understood the universe, knew about life.
• 32:16
  Tanya Rooney: They did a really good job.
• 32:17
  Tanya Rooney: I turned out decent.
• 32:18
  Tanya Rooney: I think my husband has helped with a lot of it.
• 32:23
  Tanya Rooney: There were certain things when he met me that he was just like you say you hate a lot of things.
• 32:28
  Tanya Rooney: Let's try to change that.
• 32:29
  Tanya Rooney: So every time I said, god, I hate it when this happens or I hate this thing, he'd be like what do you love?
• 32:33
  Tanya Rooney: That's?
• 32:33
  Tanya Rooney: He automatically said that for probably three or four months and it's gone.
• 32:37
  Tanya Rooney: Now I do I realize when I say I hate something and it's not often I used to say all the time he's like you say that a lot.
• 32:44
  Tanya Rooney: So, um, so I know my husband has a lot to do with it, because there is like he.
• 32:49
  Tanya Rooney: He makes me.
• 32:49
  Tanya Rooney: He's a hundred percent the person that was supposed to be.
• 32:52
  Tanya Rooney: You know he.
• 32:53
  Tanya Rooney: He was the universal truth of like here.
• 32:56
  Tanya Rooney: This is what you need, cause he helped like I mean, I met him in my early twenties, he was in his early thirties and he we've just developed into like just a really well, a great couple and just yeah, he's just helped me a lot.
• 33:10
  Tanya Rooney: So I kind of give his parents credit because they made a really, really good guy, even though his mom will not take credit for him.
• 33:17
  Tanya Rooney: I'm just like I don't care what you say.
• 33:19
  Tanya Rooney: Sandy, you are the reason, you are a huge part of why he is the way he is.
• 33:23
  Tanya Rooney: Um, so I feel like he's got a lot to do with it.
• 33:26
  Tanya Rooney: And then everything else.
• 33:27
  Tanya Rooney: I have no idea, because I kind of I didn't grow up in a super negative household, but it's not super positive there.
• 33:33
  Tanya Rooney: I just like life and I just I don't know the things that I get excited about.
• 33:39
  Tanya Rooney: The more I lean into the things that I get excited about, the more I like life, like living, because not everybody likes to or they're sitting in some yuck, you know, like, if you hate being a nurse, stop being a damn nurse, like I know the money is good, but go figure out something else that makes you want to wake up every day.
• 33:57
  Tanya Rooney: Because not everybody like, because, honestly, we are some of the most fortunate people in the world, uh, regardless of whatever's happening.
• 34:04
  Tanya Rooney: Like 90 of the times amer Americans really do, we have a really great life.
• 34:09
  Tanya Rooney: Like I get to go, just spent three weeks in Thailand, and like that was just like a trip for us, that's like a bucket list trip for tons of people and for us we're just like, yeah, that was, that was January, cool, Now where are we going to go?
• 34:22
  Tanya Rooney: And I think there's so many cool things and once you realize how many cool things there are and how happy you can be, you want to chase that feeling now, like now it's like okay, well, how do I do more of that?
• 34:33
  Tanya Rooney: Because you can light up people's faces, you can light up rooms, you can have conversations that really like make you happy.
• 34:41
  Tanya Rooney: And yeah, I don't know where the hell that came from.
• 34:44
  Samantha Pruitt: I seriously have no idea.
• 34:45
  Tanya Rooney: I just, but I do really like life.
• 34:47
  Tanya Rooney: I'm pretty optimistic.
• 34:49
  Samantha Pruitt: Somewhere you developed a really big muscle to to generate agency over your own life Must've Yep Cause.
• 34:56
  Tanya Rooney: I don't know yeah.
• 34:57
  Samantha Pruitt: It's good, I made it happen Like it's, I hate excuses.
• 35:01
  Tanya Rooney: I'm just like I listen.
• 35:02
  Tanya Rooney: I'm just like get off your ass and change it, otherwise shut up.
• 35:05
  Tanya Rooney: Like stop complaining to me.
• 35:07
  Tanya Rooney: But this thing that you keep, like you have a solution right there and like there's a threshold that I have.
• 35:13
  Tanya Rooney: And then I finally say something.
• 35:14
  Tanya Rooney: If somebody's friends with me, I do have a threshold where I'm just like, okay, I'm done listening to this.
• 35:19
  Tanya Rooney: Like you have so many ways to solve this, like I'm not here to listen to you complain.
• 35:23
  Tanya Rooney: Like let's talk about cool shit, otherwise pass.
• 35:33
  Polly Mertens: I love it.
• 35:33
  Polly Mertens: So I was just gonna ask you, like I was thinking about your tribe and the people you surround yourself with, and I was like qualities, or what are the things that you look for?
• 35:38
  Polly Mertens: Or what do you like he's talked about, like that inner circle, like if you join a mastermind or something, you're like what, what makes you light up, what rings your bells in seeing it in other people that you want close to you, and how did you come up with those?
• 35:52
  Polly Mertens: Or did you like you're like, oh, cool, nice, you know, was it more random?
• 35:57
  Polly Mertens: Or have you sort of like started to acquire some traits that you look for and then, when you see it, you're like, ah yeah, I'm pretty sure it's really intuitive and so it's.
• 36:10
  Tanya Rooney: It's hard because I want to figure out how to teach people how to do this.
• 36:11
  Tanya Rooney: I at least have some things, like if I'm joining a mastermind, I'm looking for the people that are actually engaged, the ones that are helping other people, even if they don't necessarily have a lot of knowledge.
• 36:19
  Tanya Rooney: The people that are horsing around on a zoom call.
• 36:22
  Tanya Rooney: Honestly, like that's how I find most of my friends is.
• 36:25
  Tanya Rooney: I might say something to somebody and if they horse around back I'm like, oh, you're cool.
• 36:29
  Tanya Rooney: So it's kind of like it's that, but it's really something that I just I really like people and there's certain ones that I listen.
• 36:38
  Tanya Rooney: I listen very closely to how people talk to themselves and how they talk about things, and if they're excited or like people that treat themselves shitty like and talk about themselves Like I, I hear that more and more, especially, like you know, the last couple of years, so I call people out.
• 36:56
  Tanya Rooney: I'm just like, hey, you're really mean to yourself.
• 36:58
  Tanya Rooney: Could you stop doing that, Like you would never talk to me like that, like you shouldn't be talking to yourself like that, and those people like I mean sometimes people take it to heart and they really change and sometimes they don't.
• 37:13
  Tanya Rooney: I can see when people are making progress on it and it's like I want to hang out around one of those people.
• 37:16
  Tanya Rooney: But if it's, you know, I met this person in January and in June they're still complaining about the same thing in January, like I don't really want to hang out with them because that sounds terrible so.
• 37:24
  Tanya Rooney: I just like pick up on these things.
• 37:25
  Tanya Rooney: It's an energy.
• 37:26
  Tanya Rooney: It's an energy.
• 37:27
  Tanya Rooney: It probably is Like I actually do think it's this intuitive thing, that it's like I can see it People that drain me.
• 37:33
  Tanya Rooney: It takes me less time to find those people.
• 37:37
  Tanya Rooney: It used to take me like seven or eight months to realize, holy crap.
• 37:42
  Tanya Rooney: That's why I feel weird.
• 37:43
  Tanya Rooney: It's like this person.
• 37:44
  Tanya Rooney: I just talked to this person again and I feel anxious and I feel shitty about myself and and they didn't do it.
• 37:51
  Tanya Rooney: They did not do it.
• 37:52
  Tanya Rooney: They weren't like Tanya, you're a piece of crap.
• 37:54
  Tanya Rooney: Like I do not hang out with those kinds of people.
• 37:55
  Tanya Rooney: They're literally it's these tiny little things and I've realized it's their energy is weird.
• 38:01
  Tanya Rooney: Like I can't.
• 38:02
  Tanya Rooney: I can't handle whatever it is, because some people like I'm a cup filler.
• 38:06
  Tanya Rooney: Whether I want to be or not, it doesn't matter.
• 38:09
  Tanya Rooney: I can be around people and I can give them energy and I don't know how the exchange happens.
• 38:12
  Tanya Rooney: I'm just me.
• 38:13
  Tanya Rooney: But people constantly will text me after a coffee and they'll be like, oh my god, I need to hang out with you more.
• 38:18
  Tanya Rooney: Like I'm just so excited and I get that.
• 38:21
  Tanya Rooney: That's like a regular occurrence for me getting a message like that, but that's not necessarily what I like.
• 38:26
  Tanya Rooney: I don't.
• 38:27
  Tanya Rooney: It doesn't drain me, drain me, but I don't.
• 38:30
  Tanya Rooney: I don't necessarily get that back.
• 38:32
  Tanya Rooney: So there's things that I know that I have to go do, like I just got back from an event.
• 38:36
  Tanya Rooney: Events fill me up.
• 38:38
  Tanya Rooney: Introverts have to like take a week off after an event and I'm just like I'm jazzed, I'm good for like a few months now because I just saw a ton of people and I got to talk to all kinds of my friends and I got to hug all kinds of people that I only talked to on the internet or, you know, on a text message.
• 38:54
  Tanya Rooney: So I know that that.
• 38:56
  Tanya Rooney: But I know that energy piece.
• 38:58
  Tanya Rooney: When I feel icky after hanging out with somebody, that's my red flag.
• 39:01
  Tanya Rooney: Then I'm just like, okay, was it them, was it something that happened in my business?
• 39:05
  Tanya Rooney: Because sometimes it's sad and then I just like might connect that person to it, which I don't want to do.
• 39:10
  Tanya Rooney: So I try to think about that and it's like okay, if I don't want to spend time with that person, it's okay, but I have to be smart about it.
• 39:17
  Tanya Rooney: Like learning boundaries.
• 39:20
  Tanya Rooney: I'm not necessarily great at that, I'm better at just like ghosting people, which is not great, but I'm learning it.
• 39:26
  Tanya Rooney: I'm learning how to say it yeah, I mean, I don't.
• 39:34
  Tanya Rooney: I hate when people feel left out.
• 39:35
  Tanya Rooney: I really don't like it.
• 39:36
  Tanya Rooney: So I have to figure out how can I communicate stuff like this.
• 39:38
  Samantha Pruitt: But not be a total jerk.
• 39:39
  Tanya Rooney: So ghosting is easier for me to just not answer a call.
• 39:42
  Tanya Rooney: The lazy person's day, yeah.
• 39:45
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, but you've gotten much better at filling your own cup and your own energy source, your own battery if you will and not just relying on others to do that.
• 39:56
  Samantha Pruitt: I'm sure there's plenty of other things that you do, like this myriad of habits that you've got, that you're stacking, that are filling you up, like you know, making you feel stoked, and you're doing that all on your own.
• 40:06
  Samantha Pruitt: That doesn't take another person to give you a high five.
• 40:13
  Samantha Pruitt: Or to you know, jazz you up like you know, making you feel stoked, and you're doing that all on your own.
• 40:14
  Samantha Pruitt: That doesn't take another person to give you a high five.
• 40:15
  Samantha Pruitt: Or to you know, jazz you up for the day Like you.
• 40:16
  Samantha Pruitt: We all need to learn how to do it with ourselves, for ourselves, because we're worth it, right?
• 40:18
  Samantha Pruitt: Not relying on our partner, our spouse, or our employees or our teammates or whatever the hell the barista to like make our day.
• 40:26
  Tanya Rooney: You know, yeah, they may or they may not but you know that's true, like you might get a.
• 40:31
  Tanya Rooney: You know my hair is at I was thinking about this this morning my hair is at the length where I get the most compliments.
• 40:37
  Tanya Rooney: There's like a three week where I get like my hair just laying right, just right at this length, and I thought of that and it's like I can't always get the right length, so that's not a thing, but you can.
• 40:48
  Tanya Rooney: You can be intentional, like now when I buy things that even I hang on the wall this isn't this, this is these aren't.
• 40:55
  Tanya Rooney: Like if you're watching this stuff in the background, I'm at a rental, like I, this isn't mine, but I am very like smart about if something, like if I see something in a store and it makes me smile, like I hover around it and decide like, oh, is that something I would like to bring into my life Because it makes me smile.
• 41:11
  Tanya Rooney: Like I have this tiny little picture with these little flowers that are pressed between glass and that makes me think of my grandma because she used to press flowers and she's not around anymore.
• 41:20
  Tanya Rooney: But this little thing, this tiny little purple flower, makes me think of her.
• 41:24
  Tanya Rooney: So I do that kind of stuff, cause that stuff also like bright colors.
• 41:29
  Tanya Rooney: I love bright colors, like I know.
• 41:30
  Tanya Rooney: I actually know Polly is a bright color person too, and you have all these fun things behind you, sam, and they're in like in there.
• 41:37
  Tanya Rooney: You know they're color-coded.
• 41:38
  Tanya Rooney: I freaking love that.
• 41:39
  Tanya Rooney: So that kind of stuff would make me go.
• 41:41
  Tanya Rooney: Oh, this is fun, and I do it with things that I bring into my house, with things I might eat, and then, um, things I listen to.
• 41:51
  Tanya Rooney: Like I'm big on, like my poor husband.
• 41:51
  Tanya Rooney: He's like, oh, I haven't heard that song today and I'm like, yeah, well, I have like this song list of like 10 songs that are bumpy enough, like they're upbeat, that I listen to it in the morning or when I'm in a freaking weird mood, or I just got an email that kind of pissed me off.
• 42:05
  Tanya Rooney: I'm just like you know what, and I try to catch it and I'll listen to music that will like it'll bring me back up and I've learned that I think it's frequency.
• 42:14
  Tanya Rooney: It's about like the frequencies we're at.
• 42:16
  Tanya Rooney: And I know you guys know about frequencies too that it's like if you're at a low frequency and you're in anger and huffiness and jealousy and all of this crap, yeah you're in a bad mood and that's a low frequency to hang out in.
• 42:27
  Tanya Rooney: And if you're around people that are always like shit, talking to other people and calling somebody like nasty names and stuff, like you're sitting at a low frequency.
• 42:36
  Tanya Rooney: But if you hang out with people that talk about cool big dreams and and like there there's literally like a higher frequency.
• 42:43
  Tanya Rooney: So I listen to music, I even listen to frequency music.
• 42:45
  Tanya Rooney: There's high frequency music that will keep you up there or it'll put you back up there.
• 42:50
  Tanya Rooney: And, man, that has been the coolest thing that I learned, like in the last eight months.
• 42:55
  Tanya Rooney: I'm like, oh my God, this is great.
• 42:56
  Tanya Rooney: I might have to listen to it a lot, or I might have to Mel Robbins 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 things a lot to get it out of my head.
• 43:04
  Tanya Rooney: So it stops.
• 43:05
  Tanya Rooney: But I know that I can do these things and then I can get back up to where I need to be.
• 43:10
  Tanya Rooney: So it doesn't ruin my entire day.
• 43:11
  Tanya Rooney: It definitely still might ruin three hours of my day, but the less and less I can ruin.
• 43:16
  Tanya Rooney: That's great.
• 43:18
  Polly Mertens: I look at it as a like a emotional snob or frequency snob.
• 43:22
  Polly Mertens: You know, it's like like I have a standard of how I want to feel, like Samantha and I are like.
• 43:29
  Polly Mertens: You know it's like it's not okay to like just pity party all day long.
• 43:32
  Polly Mertens: You know like, yeah, there's bouts and we get, we get little triggers and emotional upsets and challenges are like, oh, didn't expect that, okay, next Right.
• 43:42
  Samantha Pruitt: And it's we talk a lot.
• 43:43
  Polly Mertens: We talk a lot in our podcast about, you know, emotional intelligence and mastery and really owning your emotional state Right Like you're, like you're talking about and learning how to recalibrate yourself.
• 43:55
  Tanya Rooney: Yeah, that one's been cool, like watching yourself, like reflecting on Holy crap, my body is literally shaking because I just got this email and knowing that, ok, it's actually only going to last 60 to 90 seconds, like the actual like pieces in your body that like make your blood go weird or you shake and then it's going to stop, but then you have to.
• 44:16
  Tanya Rooney: What's going to stop your mind from obsessing over it?
• 44:18
  Tanya Rooney: I'm really obsessive.
• 44:20
  Tanya Rooney: So that's been hard, but it's been really neat to watch it and to figure out how to change it.
• 44:24
  Tanya Rooney: Sometimes I can't change it midway, like I'll be, you know, in a fight with my husband and I'll be like why are you being such a dick?
• 44:33
  Tanya Rooney: Tanya in my head, and I just can't, like I can't rein it in.
• 44:34
  Tanya Rooney: So I'm still learning.
• 44:35
  Tanya Rooney: I yeah, I've got a lot to learn, but it's really neat to realize it and to be like.
• 44:41
  Samantha Pruitt: Oh, that's a thing, so this part it sounds like you've channeled that obsessive behavior, right, or those thoughts around putting it into a positive thing, whatever, whether it's going to be I'm going to go meditate or I'm going to go do my one mile, or I'm going to do, you know, whatever the thing I'm doing, like, let me figure out a way to take that.
• 45:02
  Samantha Pruitt: It's a bit of anxiety, nervous energy, you know, compulsive behaviors, right.
• 45:08
  Samantha Pruitt: So how to take that and utilize it, whereas a lot of people just I'm just going to drown in it.
• 45:12
  Samantha Pruitt: It has control over me.
• 45:14
  Samantha Pruitt: I haven't, I can't do anything about it unless I'm medicated or something.
• 45:18
  Samantha Pruitt: But like you can take those and really channel them and turn it into epic shit.
• 45:21
  Samantha Pruitt: Look at this stuff you've accomplished with this slightly neurotic behavior and energy.
• 45:27
  Polly Mertens: It is pointing in the right direction.
• 45:30
  Polly Mertens: Well, I just I look at you, know this.
• 45:32
  Polly Mertens: So there's a spectrum, let's say there's like neurodivergent, right?
• 45:35
  Polly Mertens: So it's like you know they've got a brain that works at a different frequency and whatnot, and if you channel that brain in the right, you get, you know, some rain man kind of stuff.
• 45:43
  Polly Mertens: Like you can you know?
• 45:44
  Polly Mertens: Or if't you know, you get the anxiety people call adhd or whatever.
• 45:49
  Polly Mertens: I just think you have a brain that has a specific skill set and qualities that you're like I'm gonna apply this to shit that works in my life and I'm gonna make myself better and, oh my god, I'm gonna, and I'm gonna pay attention to the frequency around me and my energy, my space, and pull in the energy that I want to feel.
• 46:04
  Polly Mertens: You you know, like, like you're, like I love people that I see that are at the captain of their fucking helm, like they're like I'm driving this, like this life, this experience, this stuff that's going on.
• 46:15
  Polly Mertens: I know when I'm doing it to myself, I know when I'm doing it to you, whatever it looks like, but like I got my hands on the wheel, I'm the captain.
• 46:23
  Tanya Rooney: Yeah, it takes a lot to get there, though, like you know, I've got some 20 something year old nieces and I just it's fun to be I'm in my late 30s right now and it's fun to like actually think, oh yeah, I was such a little asshole and I totally thought I knew all the things and I'm still an asshole.
• 46:41
  Tanya Rooney: But I'm just like a 38 year old asshole that can at least see that.
• 46:46
  Tanya Rooney: This is why, yeah, I'm more and more refined, but I think it takes time.
• 46:50
  Tanya Rooney: It's so interesting because I can't imagine the version of me, uh, the, the 22 year old version of me.
• 46:56
  Tanya Rooney: Man, she'd be like, oh my god, get away from me, like whatever, just go away.
• 47:00
  Tanya Rooney: Like I don't want to be better, I don't want to wake up at a different time, I don't want to work out, I don't want to eat better, like any of that.
• 47:07
  Tanya Rooney: I just I wanted to go to the bar, I wanted to have fun, I wanted to meet people that way, and now I'm just kind of like oh, now I want to do all of these things.
• 47:13
  Tanya Rooney: I'm looking up, like you know where's some yoga places that maybe have like some kind of class that I can go learn about why this is good and what that does for my chakras and my 20 something year old would have been like nah.
• 47:27
  Tanya Rooney: So I think I've also gone.
• 47:29
  Tanya Rooney: I've done the journey that I was supposed to do and I it keeps building and it's really a lot more fun to be at this age and to be thinking about these things and, yeah, I wish I would have started sooner blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 47:40
  Tanya Rooney: But you know this, it all happened when it was supposed to.
• 47:43
  Tanya Rooney: So this has been like really, really neat to watch and to learn and to still have setbacks and then learn again and realize there's all kinds of lessons that the universe is like haha, you haven't learned yet.
• 47:55
  Tanya Rooney: And then they just throw it back into my freaking pond, just like, take this away endless growth opportunity is still awake we'll tell you it never ends, you know?
• 48:07
  Polly Mertens: no, it doesn't.
• 48:08
  Tanya Rooney: That's what I'm I'm just like, oh, it'll never fucking change, like it'll never like end.
• 48:13
  Tanya Rooney: Because if it ends, then you're either not doing anything or you're sitting on the couch sad, or you're dead.
• 48:19
  Tanya Rooney: So you just gotta keep going exactly, exactly well, I had a question, tanya.
• 48:26
  Polly Mertens: You know, as you were talking about, um, how you, you know, choose people and how you like, selectively, like filter, so that you get that energy that you want.
• 48:34
  Polly Mertens: So, um, I was talking with one of our listeners, robin.
• 48:38
  Polly Mertens: If you're listening, I was talking with robin this weekend and we were talking about her wanting to create a circle in her town, like for herself and stuff, and so awesome.
• 48:47
  Polly Mertens: I, robin, doesn't have a podcast, robin doesn't have, you know, a mastermind group, she doesn't have money to fly all over the country and do all these things.
• 48:54
  Polly Mertens: So, tanya, how would you start something from nothing, like you know, like what would you say to somebody like that, what have you heard from your guests?
• 49:03
  Polly Mertens: Or what would you say from somebody that's like, okay, here's what I would do.
• 49:06
  Tanya Rooney: First, yeah, well, one small thing is like, look for magical moments and that's just like a random conversation with somebody that maybe you hit it off with at a coffee shop.
• 49:16
  Tanya Rooney: Like I am not actually one of those people that just will randomly start talking to people.
• 49:21
  Tanya Rooney: I just am not, even though I'm so extroverted.
• 49:24
  Tanya Rooney: Yeah, but see if so, if somebody like I mean you can ask those questions.
• 49:27
  Tanya Rooney: But honestly, the like spot that we're in in the world, like I hate to say it, but Facebook, like, actually like, if you live in a small town, there's probably a Facebook group and like I live in a big town, like I live in Minneapolis, st Paul, and there's literally like this group I'm not even a mom, but I'm in the Minneapolis Moms group because there's all kinds of chatter around it that, like you want to find some friends and then there's actually Facebook groups that are literally like friendship applications and they'll, like you can you can put it you can literally say like hey, I really love horseback riding, I like to play Dungeons and Dragons and, um, I don't like to drink and you'll have 60 people coming again.
• 50:03
  Tanya Rooney: I live in a very populated area Minneapolis and St Paul are really large, but I would still probably be inclined to do that on a Facebook group, to be like, hey, I'm looking for somebody who wants to come out and have a drink or go and have a milkshake or whatever, like fill in the blank.
• 50:17
  Tanya Rooney: And then the other thing that I think of is like I'm in real estate so I can find a real estate meetup anywhere in the whole entire world.
• 50:24
  Tanya Rooney: I could literally go to Spain and find one.
• 50:26
  Tanya Rooney: It's ridiculous how many people like that.
• 50:28
  Tanya Rooney: So if you have something you like, you would go to do the thing that you like.
• 50:32
  Tanya Rooney: So either join a group that's people already doing that or go find the people.
• 50:35
  Tanya Rooney: Like, if you love yoga, you just move to a small town.
• 50:38
  Tanya Rooney: Well, is there yoga in that small town?
• 50:40
  Tanya Rooney: Or like you go to the crystal shop or like one of the healing shops.
• 50:43
  Tanya Rooney: Like you're going to find the people that you like.
• 50:45
  Tanya Rooney: If you like running, like you would go to a running club or like a running store where they sell shoes and you'd say, hey, how do I get into a running club?
• 50:53
  Tanya Rooney: And then bam, or you like make your own running club.
• 50:55
  Tanya Rooney: I know a gal that she didn't really just she's really religious and she really likes running and she's like in college or college age so she made a group just for that.
• 51:05
  Tanya Rooney: She's like hey, who wants to come and do this?
• 51:13
  Tanya Rooney: So I think, even saying like who wants to come and hang out?
• 51:15
  Tanya Rooney: I want to talk about recharging my crystals at the at the full moon you are going to find a couple of people like honestly, and the more you pay attention to other people like I don't.
• 51:21
  Tanya Rooney: I'm not the biggest cheerleader of hanging out on freaking Facebook all the time and social media, because I really do think it screws your brain.
• 51:26
  Tanya Rooney: But if it is an intentional piece, like the way that I find people or that I've told other people to find people is to go into a Facebook group, you know for five minutes a day like three different Facebook groups and like and comment and encourage and support people like truly, that takes less than a couple of minutes for each group.
• 51:44
  Tanya Rooney: Go and look at people's posts and when I look at people's posts I use the like button or the love button.
• 51:50
  Tanya Rooney: So I know I already touched that post and I don't necessarily have to touch it again if I don't want to, but I at least read it.
• 51:59
  Tanya Rooney: So I use that and then people will start seeing that, oh, this person has to say this or this, and then you can reach out to people that you're like.
• 52:04
  Tanya Rooney: Hey, I see you're commenting a lot about this thing that I love a lot because I like to play card games.
• 52:09
  Tanya Rooney: Would you like to come and play card games?
• 52:11
  Tanya Rooney: And, yeah, you might have to do that a few times to find somebody that doesn't think you're a little bit weird, but you will always find somebody that's your weird, like Pokemon Go.
• 52:19
  Tanya Rooney: That's still a thing.
• 52:20
  Tanya Rooney: Didn't know it was, but somebody I follow on Instagram has totally told me it is still a thing because she has a huge group and it's great.
• 52:29
  Tanya Rooney: But it's like her checkout and she loves it and people get added to her group all the time and she gets so jacked.
• 52:34
  Tanya Rooney: So that's why I'm saying is like you love Harry Potter, go find a reading or something of Harry Potter and you'll probably find a friend there that also has a cloak on, because that happened to me recently too.
• 52:48
  Tanya Rooney: Like you can find a friend by doing that, because you're just like if you think something's cool, the likelihood is there's five other people that think that's cool too.
• 52:54
  Tanya Rooney: You just have to go and find them.
• 52:55
  Tanya Rooney: So you need to navigate and you need to ask questions.
• 52:58
  Tanya Rooney: But you also have to be a person that puts yourself out there.
• 53:00
  Tanya Rooney: If you do not have any friends, you have to put yourself out there.
• 53:03
  Tanya Rooney: You have to go to a gym, you have to start talking to people, whatever it is.
• 53:07
  Tanya Rooney: I know people say it's so hard to find friends when they're adults.
• 53:10
  Tanya Rooney: Well, if 20 people are saying that, well all 20 of you have that in common.
• 53:14
  Tanya Rooney: So you just found 20 other 19 other friends that think it's hard to find a friend.
• 53:19
  Tanya Rooney: So go be friends with them.
• 53:21
  Tanya Rooney: Maybe they like to bitch about the same things you do.
• 53:22
  Tanya Rooney: Start showing up.
• 53:25
  Polly Mertens: Yeah you do have to show up.
• 53:26
  Polly Mertens: You know if you sit on your sofa and you're stuck to your phone.
• 53:30
  Samantha Pruitt: That's not the real world.
• 53:31
  Samantha Pruitt: You're not getting out into the real world.
• 53:33
  Tanya Rooney: Yeah, yeah, just go take a walk.
• 53:35
  Tanya Rooney: There's people walking.
• 53:35
  Tanya Rooney: They bring dogs all over the place.
• 53:37
  Tanya Rooney: Just say can?
• 53:37
  Samantha Pruitt: I high five strangers.
• 53:39
  Tanya Rooney: Whatever you got to do, that doesn't surprise me.
• 53:41
  Tanya Rooney: Yeah, it's good.
• 53:44
  Polly Mertens: That's good.
• 53:44
  Polly Mertens: That's Samantha's news.
• 53:46
  Polly Mertens: So we talked about how do we get onto the pixie desk in one of our recent podcasts.
• 53:51
  Polly Mertens: Sprinkling magic yeah sprinkling magic, yeah, spreading.
• 53:54
  Polly Mertens: So Tanya and I share an appreciation for landmark education and so out of my participation, in the communication course.
• 54:03
  Polly Mertens: That's right.
• 54:04
  Polly Mertens: So that was one of my homework assignments, that's right.
• 54:06
  Polly Mertens: Is spreading magic?
• 54:07
  Polly Mertens: Or see, was it spreading, yeah, spreading magic.
• 54:09
  Polly Mertens: And you and I met and then I was like spreading magic, spreading magic and you're like pixie dust and you're like high fives.
• 54:18
  Polly Mertens: So now she likes high fives everywhere.
• 54:19
  Samantha Pruitt: So so, yeah, I compliment people.
• 54:20
  Samantha Pruitt: People freaking love that, by the way.
• 54:22
  Samantha Pruitt: Total strangers, high fiving, total strangers.
• 54:25
  Samantha Pruitt: I was just at an event this weekend Literally there's 16,000 people in the stadium.
• 54:30
  Samantha Pruitt: I mean it was professional tennis production and people are walking down and thousands of people are just, you know, passing by and whatever you can, freaking high-five strangers all day long.
• 54:39
  Samantha Pruitt: You wouldn't believe I mean perfect strangers over the course of a week, like thought I was best friend Now would every day they came into the tennis match.
• 54:49
  Polly Mertens: They would come find me.
• 54:51
  Samantha Pruitt: What's up, sam?
• 54:52
  Samantha Pruitt: Well, this is what I'm doing today.
• 54:53
  Samantha Pruitt: You know it's like okay, yep, you may.
• 54:56
  Samantha Pruitt: You make their day literally because you see them, you recognize them as a fellow human, you show them some respect, some love, some connection, and that's literally the simplest gift you can give someone, totally free, and then you get it back.
• 55:09
  Samantha Pruitt: It's reciprocal.
• 55:10
  Samantha Pruitt: No, no, a-holes were coming up to me for a high five, like you know.
• 55:14
  Samantha Pruitt: Those people were walking the other way, like don't look at the crazy lady.
• 55:18
  Tanya Rooney: I'm not selling you a telephone coverage, it's okay, calm down.
• 55:22
  Tanya Rooney: I have a question for you, sam.
• 55:26
  Tanya Rooney: Do you remember in the last, let's just say in the last, like 10 years?
• 55:29
  Tanya Rooney: Do you remember getting a compliment from a complete stranger, 100% yeah, okay.
• 55:34
  Tanya Rooney: What was the compliment Like?
• 55:35
  Tanya Rooney: Just tell me one that comes off the top of your head.
• 55:37
  Samantha Pruitt: For sure Energy.
• 55:38
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, like delivering, energy to a room of strangers or whatever the, whatever the environment was.
• 55:48
  Tanya Rooney: So all because of the lilt of your voice and they just are like, oh my God, you're just so excited.
• 55:50
  Tanya Rooney: So I remember a guy on this was already.
• 55:51
  Tanya Rooney: This was when I worked at CBRE, so this was 14 years ago.
• 55:53
  Tanya Rooney: I remember a guy I worked in the same building as a Regis I really think there was.
• 55:59
  Tanya Rooney: There was some kind of hair like corporation in my, in my building and I remember this guy.
• 56:04
  Tanya Rooney: I was walking to the Skyway to my car and he complimented my hair and how good it looked that day and I still remember that.
• 56:14
  Tanya Rooney: I remember about what he looked like because he had really nice hair too.
• 56:15
  Tanya Rooney: I remember that it was a man.
• 56:15
  Tanya Rooney: I remember that it was the afternoon, like I still remember the way he made me feel and that was 14 years ago.
• 56:20
  Tanya Rooney: So that's one of the things that I do is I compliment people.
• 56:23
  Tanya Rooney: If I, if I see someone and I think, if I think something about them, that's honestly.
• 56:28
  Tanya Rooney: I've kind of trained myself to also think a lot of positive things.
• 56:31
  Tanya Rooney: So if I see something and I'm just like you look fun because your outfit is fun, I will literally go up to them and tell them you look fun because of your outfit, thank you for wearing that.
• 56:40
  Tanya Rooney: And people just like remember that stuff and I have a couple of friends that know that about me.
• 56:44
  Tanya Rooney: They're like you're so good at that.
• 56:46
  Tanya Rooney: You just compliment everybody and I'm like no, it's just when I see it, when I think it, I just let it come out.
• 56:52
  Tanya Rooney: It's like and it doesn't have to be the God, you look dumb today.
• 56:56
  Tanya Rooney: Instead it's the oh my God.
• 57:01
  Tanya Rooney: Like your shoes look so freaking good today.
• 57:01
  Tanya Rooney: Like those are super cute.
• 57:02
  Tanya Rooney: Or I love all the patterns that you have on today.
• 57:04
  Tanya Rooney: Like delivering that.
• 57:05
  Tanya Rooney: It's like your high five thing.
• 57:07
  Tanya Rooney: It's just like just tell somebody something great about themselves.
• 57:09
  Tanya Rooney: And that's the ripple effect as well.
• 57:11
  Tanya Rooney: Is you just changed?
• 57:13
  Tanya Rooney: They could be in a really shitty, weird mood.
• 57:15
  Tanya Rooney: They could have just found out.
• 57:17
  Tanya Rooney: You know someone in their family has cancer, their dog is sick Like who the hell knows, and you just gave them that.
• 57:24
  Tanya Rooney: That's going to at least give them five minutes of oh, and you're going to go home and maybe tell your spouse about it Like Matt.
• 57:30
  Tanya Rooney: Guess what?
• 57:31
  Tanya Rooney: Somebody complimented my hair today.
• 57:32
  Tanya Rooney: Look how good it looks Like.
• 57:35
  Tanya Rooney: This is the magic.
• 57:36
  Tanya Rooney: You're right.
• 57:37
  Tanya Rooney: They're magical moments that you can create and be a part of, and it's so fun.
• 57:42
  Samantha Pruitt: It's so fun.
• 57:45
  Polly Mertens: It's so fun.
• 57:45
  Polly Mertens: You know it's that frequency you know like be the frequency that you want to be on and like, when you're out in the world, the people that want to be on that break.
• 57:53
  Polly Mertens: Because, guys, I don't know if you've heard a lot, but I don't pay attention to what's going on the news.
• 57:58
  Polly Mertens: We all I don't think us at this podcast do, but I got all these friends that I'm like, oh, there's so much going on.
• 58:04
  Polly Mertens: I'm like why are you listening to that?
• 58:12
  Polly Mertens: Turn that shit off.
• 58:12
  Polly Mertens: That's just like the noise and the norm and stuff.
• 58:13
  Polly Mertens: And it's like, if you want to play at this frequency where life is joyful, life has meaning, life is connection, you know all these things that we're talking about.
• 58:18
  Polly Mertens: It's like come up here like and and what.
• 58:20
  Polly Mertens: I love how you just said it, like you did it again.
• 58:22
  Polly Mertens: You like trained yourself, like you programmed yourself to see the good in people.
• 58:27
  Samantha Pruitt: It's a muscle.
• 58:27
  Samantha Pruitt: It's a muscle, yeah, and just speak to your muscle.
• 58:29
  Tanya Rooney: You have to work it out 100%.
• 58:31
  Polly Mertens: You have to work it out, and what a freaking beautiful reward you get right Like you feel good giving it they.
• 58:38
  Polly Mertens: Oftentimes I'm sure you get a smile, a thank you, a hug, whatever you know or like oh, let's hang out or let me buy a copy of that, who knows right?
• 58:47
  Polly Mertens: But we love to give and in the communication course that I'm taking they say acknowledgement is a scarcity in this.
• 58:55
  Polly Mertens: Oh, exactly.
• 58:57
  Tanya Rooney: Oh, it totally is.
• 58:58
  Tanya Rooney: Yeah, because we're all just striving to be seen and heard and now we do it on the Internet instead of in real life.
• 59:04
  Tanya Rooney: It's awful, but all you have to do is make people, like in my short-term rental business just make people feel seen and heard, that's it.
• 59:11
  Samantha Pruitt: Yes, Exactly Like and solve the problem.
• 59:13
  Tanya Rooney: That's it.
• 59:13
  Tanya Rooney: It's not hard, but nobody wants to solve it.
• 59:16
  Samantha Pruitt: So, freaking easy and it's not hard.
• 59:18
  Polly Mertens: It's not hard for us to acknowledge someone Like you said.
• 59:21
  Polly Mertens: I just speak, what I see, like oh, that's a cute blouse or that's whatever.
• 59:24
  Polly Mertens: Or Sam, you're like just put in my like going into work, going into that project, going into that room, going into that meeting, whatever it is, with the intention like let's keep the energy up.
• 59:34
  Polly Mertens: What's that going to look like?
• 59:35
  Polly Mertens: I don't know.
• 59:36
  Polly Mertens: Maybe you'll say something in the beginning, right, that like kind of sets a nice tone or the high-fiving, if it's appropriate.
• 59:42
  Polly Mertens: Sometimes you know some meetings it's always appropriate, I'm pretty sure.
• 59:48
  Polly Mertens: I mean we had like billionaires.
• 59:51
  Samantha Pruitt: I literally there was billionaires walking in and out of this environment that I was in and you know so some of my coworkers and teammates.
• 59:59
  Samantha Pruitt: You know they're intimidated, it's awkward, you know, don't look the guy in the eye Always a weird thing.
• 1:00:03
  Samantha Pruitt: I'm like what are you talking about?
• 1:00:05
  Samantha Pruitt: This is a person.
• 1:00:06
  Samantha Pruitt: Always a weird thing.
• 1:00:08
  Samantha Pruitt: I'm like what are you talking about?
• 1:00:09
  Samantha Pruitt: This is a person, this is a human being.
• 1:00:10
  Samantha Pruitt: And they probably go around most of their life where people have this weird vibe to them and that wouldn't feel good.
• 1:00:16
  Samantha Pruitt: Right, they put their underwear on to their socks on, to like how do you know if they're having a shitty day or whatever.
• 1:00:22
  Samantha Pruitt: I feel like they probably need the love just as much, if not more, because you know so few people will connect to them in a genuine way.
• 1:00:30
  Samantha Pruitt: Right, yeah, because they're intimidated by them.
• 1:00:32
  Samantha Pruitt: Exactly, totally ludicrous.
• 1:00:35
  Samantha Pruitt: Humans are humans and humaning is fucking hard.
• 1:00:37
  Samantha Pruitt: Doesn't matter how much money in your bank account, it's hard.
• 1:00:40
  Tanya Rooney: Yeah, it is.
• 1:00:41
  Tanya Rooney: You're either trying to keep the money in your bank account or you're losing it.
• 1:00:45
  Tanya Rooney: And it is.
• 1:00:45
  Tanya Rooney: It's all hard in your bank account, or you're losing it and it is.
• 1:00:48
  Polly Mertens: It's all hard.
• 1:00:48
  Polly Mertens: Tanya, tell us a little bit about the adventure life that you've created.
• 1:00:52
  Polly Mertens: So how did you go from, you know, 15 years ago having this job, and now you've designed this life?
• 1:00:58
  Polly Mertens: You know, thankfully your husband can take some time off, so like he's doing projects and stuff.
• 1:01:02
  Polly Mertens: What is your philosophy about?
• 1:01:10
  Polly Mertens: Like a life by design, as I would call it, or like creating what you want your life to look like and it's not always perfect.
• 1:01:13
  Polly Mertens: I mean, you know you're, yeah, like, what's your approach these days?
• 1:01:16
  Polly Mertens: Where have you evolved from and into like how?
• 1:01:19
  Polly Mertens: What is life for you now?
• 1:01:21
  Tanya Rooney: yeah, I, um, I don't like.
• 1:01:23
  Tanya Rooney: You know, if something's a hell, yeah, like, go and do it.
• 1:01:25
  Tanya Rooney: That's like, and if something feels gross or it feels like a no, then just don't do it.
• 1:01:30
  Tanya Rooney: It's okay to just say no, um, but I just I don't know.
• 1:01:34
  Tanya Rooney: I think if something sounds cool, I'll just go do it, um, and sometimes that's not great for my bank account or my credit cards or whatever it is, but I'll do it anyways.
• 1:01:44
  Tanya Rooney: Um, I kind of just like, the more I let go, the more cool things happen and the better things that happen and they get bigger and they, you know all of that.
• 1:01:52
  Tanya Rooney: But yeah, I just like, I want to enjoy life.
• 1:01:56
  Tanya Rooney: We, you know, I don't know if I'm going to make it to my eighties, like that's when people, people like, retire in their sixties and seventies.
• 1:02:03
  Tanya Rooney: And I watch them on these damn vacations that I go on, like we were in Greece last year and I'm watching these 70 somethings try to get around the um, like they call it, not the Colosseum, the Parthenon, I think is there the Pantheon I never remember which one's Parthenon, which one's Path, but the um, we're just going to go with Parthenon, um, so I'm at the Parthenon and it's like these marble steps and they're like I mean, one step might be 24 inches up, the next one might be 16.
• 1:02:29
  Tanya Rooney: The next one might be 32.
• 1:02:30
  Tanya Rooney: It's ridiculous.
• 1:02:31
  Tanya Rooney: They're all over the place.
• 1:02:31
  Tanya Rooney: They're super slippery, cause again, they're like marble and they're worn out.
• 1:02:37
  Tanya Rooney: And I'm watching these 70 somethings try to get up those stairs and I'm like I'm like walking around with my arm up to make sure that, like hey, do you just need an arm, cause I don't want you to fall down because that would hurt.
• 1:02:46
  Tanya Rooney: And I think of things like that and it's like, and they couldn't do this 20 years ago, or they opted not to because they had the traditional lifestyle.
• 1:02:55
  Tanya Rooney: And I'm over here like pass, like when I'm that age, I kind of just hoping maybe I'll be a beach person by then.
• 1:03:02
  Tanya Rooney: I don't frigging know, but I'll just sit on a beach at that point.
• 1:03:06
  Tanya Rooney: So right now I like I'm quite able, like yeah, I uh way too much and all of that crap, but truly like I, I'm still quite able.
• 1:03:14
  Tanya Rooney: I don't even say no.
• 1:03:15
  Tanya Rooney: Like a year and a half ago, my friend turned 40 and she wanted to hike to the bottom of the grand Canyon and stay there for two days and then hike back down.
• 1:03:23
  Tanya Rooney: Yeah, so we got, so we got a permit to be able to do that and I was supposed to be training.
• 1:03:43
  Tanya Rooney: There's two other guys came too.
• 1:03:43
  Tanya Rooney: They were training for like six months prior and I felt like such an asshole.
• 1:03:45
  Tanya Rooney: I was going to say no right at the end because I was like I haven't trained for this, but I just did it anyways.
• 1:03:48
  Tanya Rooney: I was like whatever hard, but it was actually hard for even the girls that like there was two of my friends were there and they're fit like incredibly in shape and um, and they had a hard time too.
• 1:03:54
  Tanya Rooney: Like, yeah, they may be a little bit easier of a time, but I'm just like, well, I don't know, my knees still work, my fucking feet are still, you know, working.
• 1:04:02
  Tanya Rooney: Like why not just go do the thing?
• 1:04:04
  Tanya Rooney: So I just kind of like say yes to the things and I figure it out and I just I don't know.
• 1:04:09
  Tanya Rooney: There's so many people with so many excuses that I'm like why, why are you doing this?
• 1:04:13
  Tanya Rooney: Like you could do this.
• 1:04:14
  Tanya Rooney: I will also preface this with we do not have children, we do not have pets, we have rehomed all of our plants at the moment because we do not have a place to live, like we just bounce between like furnished rentals at the moment anyways, and so that is different.
• 1:04:29
  Tanya Rooney: Like some people have chosen to have a family and if you have four or five kids, you probably can't afford like the lifestyle that I live.
• 1:04:36
  Tanya Rooney: Add five kids oh gosh, that'd be really hard because we do spend when we go places, and if I had to get a bigger house for me and Matt when we go places, like I totally get it, but that was, you know, that was their choice.
• 1:04:48
  Tanya Rooney: Like my choices have been this is what we like to do, this is what we like to spend time on when we go traveling.
• 1:04:53
  Tanya Rooney: We love to see markets, we like to eat food, we like to hike, we like to do that kind of stuff.
• 1:04:57
  Tanya Rooney: So it's just like, how can I do that?
• 1:04:59
  Tanya Rooney: And I'm trying to.
• 1:05:00
  Tanya Rooney: Actually, I'm realizing I need to introduce travel Tanya to St Paul, minnesota, tanya, and they need to start hanging out more, because I realize like I love hiking and doing that outdoorsy stuff, but I don't do it at home and that's one of the reasons that I'm doing the thousand hours outside that I'm just like I should hike here Minnesota has so many trails, and like I mean you can literally do hikes in the twin cities.
• 1:05:24
  Tanya Rooney: We have so many parks and I'm like, why am I not doing that more?
• 1:05:28
  Tanya Rooney: Like I should.
• 1:05:29
  Tanya Rooney: So it's kind of like you know, marrying those things, I'm starting to learn I should and I would like to not even should, I would like to and, um, just like saying yes to the things I want to do.
• 1:05:40
  Tanya Rooney: I'm just like I'm sick of listening to people say, well, oh, that sounds so great, I should do that.
• 1:05:45
  Tanya Rooney: I'm like, yeah, you should just like go book it, you'll figure it out.
• 1:05:48
  Tanya Rooney: And if you don't have any like I mean people just always say like, oh, I'm going to do that someday, I'm gonna do that someday.
• 1:05:54
  Tanya Rooney: Well, what happens when you get hit by the bus?
• 1:05:56
  Tanya Rooney: Like you know, many people get I don't know, I say bus a lot and I don't know people that get hit by buses.
• 1:06:02
  Tanya Rooney: But it's, it's true, you should have a bus plan of some kind.
• 1:06:05
  Tanya Rooney: Like you could die at any time, you could get diagnosed with cancer at any time.
• 1:06:09
  Tanya Rooney: Like people it literally happens every day to thousands of people, especially in America Like, maybe go live a little bit, you shouldn't have to wait for somebody really close to you to get diagnosed with cancer, to realize that you want to live the way a certain way Because that's truly what happens, that's how everybody lives is like oh, my mom just died, so now I, I need to, you know, embrace life for a couple of years.
• 1:06:31
  Tanya Rooney: Or this person, like you know, my spouse just got cancer.
• 1:06:34
  Tanya Rooney: Well, you live differently when that shit happens.
• 1:06:41
  Polly Mertens: Yes, you do, yes, you do Samantha's brother, brother's going through the treatments and things like that, and you know big big wake ups, you know, and seeing your, parents and things like that.
• 1:06:47
  Polly Mertens: So, yeah, yeah, so, like that's our big thing is like now, now.
• 1:06:50
  Polly Mertens: Now, now's a good time, now is a good time and you know you've got to be responsible.
• 1:06:54
  Polly Mertens: Like you've rehomed your plants good for you, you know, don't?
• 1:06:57
  Tanya Rooney: if you rehome your children like maybe don't do that, bring them with or maybe give them up for adoption, but whatever farm them out to a relative.
• 1:07:08
  Samantha Pruitt: They'll get to know their relatives better.
• 1:07:10
  Tanya Rooney: Yeah, in the summertime, they totally could.
• 1:07:13
  Samantha Pruitt: Like.
• 1:07:13
  Tanya Rooney: I've got a kid in my life that comes and hangs out with me.
• 1:07:15
  Tanya Rooney: I love it.
• 1:07:16
  Samantha Pruitt: I love that week or two.
• 1:07:17
  Samantha Pruitt: It used to be a thing, literally a generation or two ago.
• 1:07:20
  Samantha Pruitt: It was very normal.
• 1:07:22
  Tanya Rooney: Yeah, to go hang out with your grandparents for a month.
• 1:07:24
  Samantha Pruitt: Absolutely, You're related to these people or you know you're the best aunt ever or whatever scenario is going on there.
• 1:07:31
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, Lots of options.
• 1:07:33
  Polly Mertens: Oh yeah, so good For sure.
• 1:07:35
  Samantha Pruitt: Live a life with no regrets.
• 1:07:37
  Polly Mertens: Oh yeah, so lame.
• 1:07:38
  Polly Mertens: Well, that's a really good one liner.
• 1:07:40
  Polly Mertens: I was just going to ask, like, what's our one thing, guys?
• 1:07:42
  Polly Mertens: What are we?
• 1:07:54
  Tanya Rooney: What we?
• 1:07:54
  Tanya Rooney: What's our summary?
• 1:07:54
  Tanya Rooney: What?
• 1:07:54
  Tanya Rooney: What are we?
• 1:07:54
  Tanya Rooney: In time, you're the guest.
• 1:07:55
  Tanya Rooney: Yeah, she's gonna have to close that out.
• 1:07:55
  Tanya Rooney: What would you want?
• 1:07:55
  Tanya Rooney: Yeah, it's, um, it's find your friends.
• 1:07:56
  Tanya Rooney: Like, don't do like alone.
• 1:07:57
  Tanya Rooney: Yeah, like, find your tribe like I'm all about tribe building like you need to find a couple of people that's like and it's.
• 1:07:59
  Tanya Rooney: They don't.
• 1:08:00
  Tanya Rooney: They're not going to be just like you, it's okay.
• 1:08:02
  Tanya Rooney: Like, if you're an introvert, just go find one person.
• 1:08:04
  Tanya Rooney: It could be be another introvert, it could be whatever, but just enjoy the thing that you love with somebody else.
• 1:08:11
  Tanya Rooney: It just it enhances everything you do.
• 1:08:14
  Tanya Rooney: Like, just go do that.
• 1:08:15
  Tanya Rooney: Like, find a friend or two friends and I can't be everybody's friend.
• 1:08:19
  Tanya Rooney: I try, I really, I really do try to be everybody's friend, but there is somebody out there that wants to, like, you know, talk about your pet pig with you.
• 1:08:28
  Tanya Rooney: I got one of those friends too.
• 1:08:30
  Tanya Rooney: It's a 200 pound pig hanging out at her house and I bet you there's all kinds of people that love that.
• 1:08:37
  Tanya Rooney: Like, don't do life alone.
• 1:08:38
  Tanya Rooney: It doesn't have to be a spouse, it just you don't have to spend every waking minute with somebody, or even a ton of time, but you can pick up where you left off and I find a lot of people that are just kind of like.
• 1:08:50
  Tanya Rooney: They're just.
• 1:08:50
  Tanya Rooney: They seem like really tense.
• 1:08:52
  Tanya Rooney: It's like they don't talk to other humans, they just hang out on the internet or they just hang out with their spouse and they're in their own weird world and that's not a bad thing.
• 1:09:01
  Tanya Rooney: But go find a friend.
• 1:09:02
  Tanya Rooney: You'd be surprised at how much it like resets your brain.
• 1:09:05
  Tanya Rooney: Okay.
• 1:09:06
  Polly Mertens: I love it.
• 1:09:07
  Polly Mertens: I love it, samantha.
• 1:09:08
  Polly Mertens: Anything, anything to add, I love ending on that.
• 1:09:16
  Polly Mertens: That's so good.
• 1:09:17
  Polly Mertens: No, I definitely vote for that.
• 1:09:17
  Polly Mertens: 1000%.
• 1:09:18
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, find your people and keep them close For sure, for sure.
• 1:09:20
  Polly Mertens: Well, ladies, tanya, thank you so much for joining us today.
• 1:09:23
  Polly Mertens: It was really great to connect.
• 1:09:24
  Polly Mertens: Thank you for coming on Everyday.
• 1:09:25
  Polly Mertens: Awesome Project.
• 1:09:28
  Tanya Rooney: Thank you, ladies, for being the awesome versions of you that put it out there, because not enough people put their awesome out there in the ways that you guys are.
• 1:09:34
  Tanya Rooney: Like let's find more awesome people and hang out with them.
• 1:09:37
  Tanya Rooney: This is great, so thank you for doing the stuff that you guys do.
• 1:09:40
  Tanya Rooney: More people should do this kind of stuff.
• 1:09:42
  Tanya Rooney: It's fun.
• 1:09:43
  Tanya Rooney: How can?
• 1:09:44
  Tanya Rooney: people find you.
• 1:09:44
  Tanya Rooney: I am probably the most on Instagram Tanya Rooney, mn, and my first name is T-A-N-Y-A and Rooney, and then MN for Minnesota.
• 1:09:53
  Tanya Rooney: That's probably the spot.
• 1:09:55
  Tanya Rooney: And then I have tanyarooneycom is where you can book coaching calls and stuff like that.
• 1:09:59
  Tanya Rooney: But yeah, instagram is where I like the most because I like pictures, okay.
• 1:10:04
  Polly Mertens: Tanyarooneycom.
• 1:10:06
  Tanya Rooney: Yep, my podcast is on all the places that you get podcasts.
• 1:10:09
  Tanya Rooney: It's called Tribe Builders and my face is on it and it's kind of got some retro like pink and green and purple on it.
• 1:10:15
  Tanya Rooney: So that's the one.
• 1:10:17
  Polly Mertens: Sweet, we will link it.
• 1:10:19
  Polly Mertens: Oh, so exciting.
• 1:10:20
  Polly Mertens: Yes, awesome.
• 1:10:21
  Polly Mertens: All right, samantha, what do you want to remind our people as we close out?
• 1:10:26
  Samantha Pruitt: As she says awesome, awesome, that just came naturally.
• 1:10:30
  Samantha Pruitt: What I like to say is how your life feels is more important than how it looks.
• 1:10:42
  Polly Mertens: And every day is your opportunity to find your awesome.