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Mark's 10am Monologue · The Mark Simone Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Well, I'm not ready yet. It's been gone five days.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: I forgot how you do everything the year. I forgot
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: where everything is. Anyway, we've got a lot to talk
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: about today. So what a Memorial Day weekend? I never
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: saw whether like that as you're leaving town Friday, the
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: most beautiful sunny day, as you're coming back last night,
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: most beautiful sunny evening, and then in between nothing but rain.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: It was the worst weather ever for a Memorial Day weekend.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: But I mean it was a great Memorial Day if
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: if you own an umbrella store or something like that.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: But a lot to get to today. We're going to
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: get to all the latest on IRAN. We'll run that
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: down for you. Colbert goes off the air. I wasn't
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: here for that the next day, but we'll do the
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: autopsy of exactly what went wrong. New Jersey Governor Mikey
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: Cheryl getting a lot of criticism for pulling the cheapest
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: publicity stunt. A lot more to get to anywhere. To
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: start with, I ran, negotiations look pretty good according to
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: the President. Now you got to put an asterisk on that.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: That's you know, there is a Donald Trump exaggeration factor sometimes,
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: but it seems to be going well and they are
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: coming to our you know, our terms on a lot
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: of stuff. It's pretty much ninety percent agreement now. Now,
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: of course, remember every agreement around makes they always break
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: in no time at all. But they've agreed to give
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: up the nuclear stuff. Yeah, they've agreed to give up
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: everything nuclear. Now they're sticking point is they're not yet
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: totally agreeing to never again pursuing any nuclear material, but
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: that'll come. They tried to pull in some crap over
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: the weekend, especially yesterday Memorial Day. They had some suspicious
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: ships out there trying to lay mines straight of horn
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: Moves in the Gulf. They were trying to mine the gulf.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: So our military, our force in navy quickly quickly blew
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: them up. So there was some bombing yesterday as we
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: took out a number of ships and vessels that were
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: trying to lay mines. They were completely destroyed. Yesterday, the US,
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: calling them self defense strikes, sent comp spokesperson said the
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: US military eliminated several IRGC boats that were seen mining
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: the Strait. Also took out a surface to air missile
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: site in Bomber Abbas. The missile site was at Iran's
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: primary naval station. They thought it was targeting a US warplane.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: It was quickly taken out, so that'll help the negotiations
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: a little. Now here's there's how it's done. If they
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: give up the nuclear stuff. It's mostly dust. It's mostly
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: nuclear dust under the rubble of the nuclear reactors we
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: took out and everywhere else we thought there was nuclear material,
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: we bombed the hell out of it. So it's basically
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: dust in the ground. But it can be extract believe
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: it or not. We know how to do that. We're
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: very good at that. We've got teams that actually know
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: how to get in, get nuclear material and remove it.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: We had to do that in Libya after Kadafi gave
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: up his nuclear material. These teams went in and got
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: it all, scooped it up and knew how to get
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: it out of the ground, knew how to transport it
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: out of there. So they haven't agreed on how this
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: will be done. Option number one, we will go in
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: get the nuclear material, either destroy it in Iran, which
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: can be done, or we will remove it ourselves. Option
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: number two, this is the one Iran is leading towards.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: They will turn over their nuclear material to Pakistan or
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: Turkey or Russia or China or some other country we
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: can't trust, but they may like that option. I don't know.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: I don't know if any other country wants to receive
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: nuclear material and have to store it, it's better if
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: we just go in and get it out. But again,
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: I like that option. We would just go in and
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: destroy it. There. There's another third option, which is not
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: too good. Iran would agree to heavily dilute it. Keep
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: the uranium, but dilute it. If you want to use
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: the nuclear material for commercial purposes, for energy purposes, you
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: enrich it to about twenty percent. For a nuclear weapon,
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: you got to get it to ninety percent. Well, Iran
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: had it up to sixty percent and climbing. That's why
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: we went in when we did, they were getting close
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: to weaponizing it. So diluting it, I don't know. That
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: would require very intense international oversight. That'll be subject to
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: more negotiation. So I like that we go in and
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: destroy it there. I think that's the best option. So
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: we'll see what happens with that. Hey, this crazy governor
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: New Jersey, and if she's crazy, just silly. He's kind
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: of a silly governor Mikey Cheryl. I don't know why
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: she needed to do this. She's now the governor early
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: in her term, seems to be, you know, not having
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: any controversy, any problems. I don't know why you need
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: these cheap publicity stunts, but it might be a sign
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: of things to come. Big ice facility in New Jersey,
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: and if any official wants to go into the ice facility,
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: it's easy enough to do. You call Homeland Security, you
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: call up and you make arrangements to visit and they
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: will give you a tour of the ice Facility's done
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: all the time. Robert Menendez Junior did that. Some other
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: local officials in New Jersey toured the ice vestle. You
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: can do that, Mikey Cheryl had she called and arranged
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: not on Memorial Day weekend, but during the week. Come in,
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: they'll give you a tour. She didn't do that deliberately. Instead,
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: she just showed up screaming outside the doorway, and of
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: course had a mob with her, and it caused controversy
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: and couldn't let her in that way, too chaotic. And
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: then she runs around all over to every TV camera
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: yelling and screaming. They wouldn't let her in. They wouldn't
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: let her in. Well, you know, it doesn't work that way.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: It's like your NBC News. You wanted to do a
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: story on Rikers Island, you'd call up Rikers Island officials,
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: you tell them what you want to do. They'd arrange
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: for you to visit. They'd have people escort you through
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: Rikers And that's how it's done. That's how you see
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: those prison documentaries. You arrange it with the prison to
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: show up and they'll escort you through there. If you
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: just showed up outside Rikers Island yelling and screaming with cameras,
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: of course they don't know what the hell it is
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: and they're gonna chase you away. So Mikey Cheryl did
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: this fake phony publicity stunt. She could have easily arranged
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: to go in, but deliberately didn't. Instead she shows up
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: yelling and screaming with signs and protesters, and then for
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: the publicity stunt, screams about how they wouldn't let her in.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: We've been working with ice to get into the facility.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: I was just denied that this morning.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: I was hoping that trying, well, we certainly will, uh
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: but it's obviously just a cheap publicity stunt. You know,
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: if you showed up here at iHeart downstairs, they got
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: all kinds of security and if you demand to come in,
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: you can't come in. But if you called us or
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: we're supposed to want you to come visit, we leave
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: your name downstairs, a guest pass you come in. That
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: that's how it's done. Now here's Robert Menendez Junior. Now,
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: by the way, he did arrange properly and went in
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: and toward the facility. But it's a couple of days
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: later and now they got this great publicity stunt going
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: were you're going to be on cameraon and be all
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: over the news and get a lot of publicity. So
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: he pretends he couldn't get access. He's pretending now lying,
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: Actually him pretending's a kind word. He's lying that he
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: never got in, that he never saw the facility.
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: The reason they want to make this as hard as possible.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: They won't let the governor in is because they don't
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: want us to tell the stories of what's happening inside.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: Because when we tell the stories, everyone in New Jersey
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: and people across the country realize this is not who
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: we are. As a country, but a reflection of who
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: we are in this moment under the Trump administration.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: Now, if you weren't sure just about how phony this
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: guy is, he was just inside the day before he
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: had a tour. We need to tell the story. You
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: were there, Tell the story, tell us what you saw. Hey,
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: let's get to Stephen Colbert. How many of you are
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: proud to say that in his twenty one years on
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: television you never once watched Colbert. I mean a lot
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: of people, probably ninety nine percent of the country more
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: than that, actually never watched Colbert. It was a loser show.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: Now you could argue, oh, it's number one among the
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: late night shows, but only because the late night shows
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: had slipped so far down that they had no audience.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: He had the tiniest late night audience in the history
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: of CBS television. But it was enough to beat the
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: other Jimmy Kimmel with even worse. Fallon has no ratings,
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: and the other thing was losing forty million a year. Now,
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: the suspicious part is how did it stay on the
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: last couple of years losing forty million a year. Now,
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: there's a you're going to see all over the internet today,
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: somebody has put out a document that's totally fake. They
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: just made it up. It's a fake financial statement of
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: the Colbert Report showing that it made one hundred million
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: a year. It was absolutely no truth to it. It
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: comes from a guy on substack who just made it up.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: Put it up on substack, and every left wing kookside
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: is putting this financial statement. It didn't even look like
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: a financial statement. It's what an amateur thinks it would
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: look like. But it's totally fake. The show lost forty
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: million a year. The CBS can tell you that. And
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: what ratings did the big sign off get? How many
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: people tuned in? Now, that sign off got a hell
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: of a lot of publicity, and actually, by all measures,
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: by any measure, the sign off ratings were disaster. It
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: got six point seven million people. Six point seven million.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: That might sound good, Well, let's remember David Letterman's sign
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: off got fourteen million, Conan O'Brien sign off and that
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: was no big deal. But Conan O'Brien's sign off got
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: ten and a half million. Jay Leno sign off got
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: fifteen million. Johnny Carson, now it's years ago, got fifty
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: five million. Fifty five million, So compare that to six
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: point seven million. It's really not good. Yeah, so it's
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: like ten percent of what Johnny Carson got twelve percent actually,
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: so by any measure, a total total disaster. Now, I
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: don't know. You gotta remember the other thing. It was
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: losing money. Everybody inside the business knew was losing about
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: forty million a year. And that's why nobody else has
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: offered him a job. It was announced ten months ago
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: he's being canceled. Well, ABC didn't offer him anything, CBA
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: didn't offer him anything, HBO, Netflix, nobody, nobody, syndicators, nobody
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: offered him anything. Even Conan O'Brien, who was considered at
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: his at the time a disaster on The Tonight Show.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: Soon as he went off, he was offered immediately show
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: on TBS every night. Colbert has been offered nothing because
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: they know the actual numbers, and what company in their
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: right mind would say, hey, we could lose forty million,
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: let's get him. So nothing on the horizon. He wrote
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: a screenplay, a sequel to The Hobbit, which the studio loves,
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: some movie studios, so they've hired him to write that.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: That's his next project. Now, the weirdest thing he did.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: I don't know what this was all about. He's off
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: the air Thursday night, final show. The next night, Friday night,
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: he shows up in Monroe, Michigan. It's a small town
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: in Michigan to go on a local, tiny, local public
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: access cable show or something. It's called only in Monroe,
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: and he took over as the host. Monroe has a
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: population of twenty thousand people, so let's say a couple
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: one hundred people, maybe a thousand people the most were
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: watching this thing and he hosted the show for it
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: was just a weird, weird thing to do, but that's him.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: He's a weird, peculiar guy. He opened with a monologue
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: full of jokes and then talk to a few people.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: Asked if the beer Milwaukee's Best was a sponsor. The
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: actor Steve Bichemy made a cameo. Now apparently it's gone
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: up online, it's been posted, it's on YouTube. It's ever
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: so a lot of people are watching that. Somebody originally
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: was going after the copyright and pulling it down, but
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: they decided, who cares, let him let people watch it.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: So it was very odd Byron Allen takes over the
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: time period of Stephen Colbier. It's Comics Unleashed or whatever
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: it's called. It's not bad. It was pretty good. It's
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: a change, a complete change from Colbert in that it's
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: a comedy show where they actually go for laughs. Colbert
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: never went for any laps he did. It's what they
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: call clapter, where you say something so ugly about Trump
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: the audience just starts clapping instead of laughing. They clap
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: at every joke. They call that clapter. It's an easy
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: thing to do. It's much tougher to get laughs than clapter.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: Clapter is easy. Just say something people are all going
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: to agree with and they start clapping. So as far
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: as Colbert on real television, I don't think you'll ever
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: see him again. I think that's it. Strange, strange sort
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: of guy. And he was the opposite of every late
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: night host. Every late night successful host was like an
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: all American Midwest you know, Johnny Carson, Jack Parr, Steve Allen.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: They came from the Heartland. They were like regular guys.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: Letterman was that way. Jay Leno, you know, the most
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: regular guy in the world under a car, working on
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: the engine. He's a regular guy. Colbert was totally different.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: I mean he was from some small but he wasn't.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: He was a very elitist Northeast leadst son Time sort
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: of a guy. You know. He was a kind of
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: a Broadway singing, dancing poofy kind of a son Time
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: kind of and he loved son Time and he woul talk.
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: But again, that's not the formula for late night, late night.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: You got to be a normal, normal American there they
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: can relate to. So he's not the type most people
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: relate to begin with, and then he goes super partisan
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: so that half the country can't watch anyway. It's the
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: dumbest business model ever in the history of late night TV.
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: But as Clemenza would say, you won't see him again anyway.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: We'll take tike some calls. Next eight hundred three to
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: two one zero seven ten is the number eight hundred
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: three to two, one zero seven ten.