Latest / Within a Budding Grove / 46 - Within a Budding Grove by Marcel Proust

Transcript

46 - Within a Budding Grove by Marcel Proust · Within a Budding Grove

0:00
Speaker 1: Section forty six of Within a Budding Grove by Marcel Proust,
0:05
Speaker 1: translated by C. K. Scott Moncrief. This LibriVox recording is
0:10
Speaker 1: in the public domain. Recording by Kristen Hand Seascape with
0:16
Speaker 1: frieze of Girls, Part thirteen. The state of being indicated
0:22
Speaker 1: by the presence of all the signs by which we
0:25
Speaker 1: are accustomed to recognize that we are in love, such
0:28
Speaker 1: as the orders which I left in the hotel not
0:30
Speaker 1: to awaken me whoever might ask to see me, unless
0:34
Speaker 1: it were one or other of the girls, the beating
0:37
Speaker 1: of my heart while I waited for her, whichever of
0:39
Speaker 1: them it might be that I was expecting, and on
0:43
Speaker 1: those mornings, my fury if I had not succeeded in
0:46
Speaker 1: finding a barber to shave me, and must appear with
0:49
Speaker 1: the disfigurement of a hairy chin before Albertine, Rosamond or Andre.
0:54
Speaker 1: No doubt this state, recurring indifferently at the thought of
0:58
Speaker 1: one or another, was as different from what we call
1:01
Speaker 1: love as is from human life. The life of zophytes,
1:05
Speaker 1: where an existence an individuality, if we may so term,
1:09
Speaker 1: it is divided up among several organisms. But natural history
1:15
Speaker 1: teaches us that such an organization of animal life is
1:18
Speaker 1: indeed to be observed, and that our own life, provided
1:22
Speaker 1: only that we have outgrown the first phase, is no
1:26
Speaker 1: less positive as to the reality of states hitherto unsuspected
1:30
Speaker 1: by us, through which we have to pass and can
1:33
Speaker 1: then abandon them altogether. Such was for me this state
1:38
Speaker 1: of love divided among several girls at once divided, say,
1:42
Speaker 1: rather undivided, for more often than not. What was so
1:46
Speaker 1: delicious to me different from the rest of the world,
1:49
Speaker 1: What was beginning to become so precious to me that
1:52
Speaker 1: the hope of finding it again on the morrow was
1:54
Speaker 1: the greatest happiness in my life, was rather the whole
1:58
Speaker 1: of the group of girls, taken as they were altogether,
2:02
Speaker 1: on those afternoons on the cliffs, during those lifeless hours,
2:06
Speaker 1: upon that strip of grass on which were laid those
2:08
Speaker 1: forms so exciting to my imagination of Albertine Rosamond Andre,
2:16
Speaker 1: and that, without my being able to say which of
2:18
Speaker 1: them it was that made these scenes so precious to me,
2:22
Speaker 1: which of them I was most anxious to love? At
2:26
Speaker 1: the start of a new love, as at its ending,
2:29
Speaker 1: we are not exclusively attached to the object of that love,
2:32
Speaker 1: but rather the desire to be loving from which it
2:35
Speaker 1: will presently emerge, and later on the memory which it
2:39
Speaker 1: leaves behind, wanders voluptuously through a zone of interchangeable charms,
2:45
Speaker 1: simply natural charms. It may be gratification of appetite, enjoyment
2:49
Speaker 1: of one's surroundings, which are so far harmonized among themselves,
2:53
Speaker 1: that it does not, in the presence of any one
2:55
Speaker 1: of them, feel itself out of place. Besides, as my
3:00
Speaker 1: reception of them was not yet dulled by familiarity, I
3:03
Speaker 1: still had the faculty of seeing them, that is to say,
3:06
Speaker 1: of feeling a profound astonishment every time that I found
3:09
Speaker 1: myself in their presence. No doubt this astonishment is to
3:13
Speaker 1: some extent due to the fact that the other person,
3:15
Speaker 1: on such occasions presents himself in a fresh aspect. But
3:20
Speaker 1: so great is the multiformity of each of us, so abundant,
3:23
Speaker 1: the wealth of lines of face and body lines, so
3:27
Speaker 1: few of which leave any trace once we have parted
3:29
Speaker 1: from the other person. On the arbitrary simplicity of our memory,
3:34
Speaker 1: as our mind has selected some peculiarity that has struck us,
3:38
Speaker 1: has isolated it, exaggerated it making of a woman who
3:41
Speaker 1: has appeared to us tall, a sketch in which her
3:44
Speaker 1: figure is absurdly elongated, where of a woman who has
3:48
Speaker 1: seemed to be pink cheeked and golden haired, a pure
3:51
Speaker 1: harmony in pink and gold. So, the moment that woman
3:55
Speaker 1: is once again standing before us, all the other forgotten
3:58
Speaker 1: qualities which restore the balance of that one remembered feature,
4:02
Speaker 1: at once assail us in their confused complexity, diminishing her height,
4:07
Speaker 1: paling her cheeks, and substituting for what we have come
4:10
Speaker 1: to her solely to seek other peculiarities, which we remember
4:14
Speaker 1: now that we did notice the first time, and failed
4:17
Speaker 1: to understand how we can so far have forgotten to
4:19
Speaker 1: look out for it again. We thought we remembered it
4:25
Speaker 1: was a p hen Surely we go to see it
4:28
Speaker 1: and find a paeony. And this inevitable astonishment is not
4:32
Speaker 1: the only one, for side by side with it comes
4:35
Speaker 1: another born of the difference, not now between the stereotyped
4:39
Speaker 1: forms of memory and reality, but between the person whom
4:42
Speaker 1: we saw last time and him who appears to us
4:45
Speaker 1: today from another angle and shows us another aspect. The
4:49
Speaker 1: human face is indeed like the face of the god
4:52
Speaker 1: of some Oriental theogeny a whole cluster of faces, crowded
4:56
Speaker 1: together but on different surfaces, so that one does not
4:59
Speaker 1: see them all at once, but to a great extent,
5:03
Speaker 1: our astonishment springs from the other persons presenting to us
5:07
Speaker 1: also a face that is the same as before. It
5:11
Speaker 1: would require so immense an effort to reconstruct everything that
5:14
Speaker 1: has been imparted to us by things other than ourself,
5:18
Speaker 1: were it only the taste of a fruit, that no
5:21
Speaker 1: sooner is the impression received than we begin imperceptibly to
5:24
Speaker 1: descend the slope of memory, and without noticing anything, in
5:28
Speaker 1: a very short time we have come a long way
5:31
Speaker 1: from what we actually felt, so that every fresh encounter
5:35
Speaker 1: is a sort of rectification which brings us back to
5:38
Speaker 1: what we really did see. We have no longer any
5:41
Speaker 1: recollection of this. To such an extent does what we
5:44
Speaker 1: call remembering a person consist really in forgetting him. But
5:48
Speaker 1: so long as we can still see at the moment
5:50
Speaker 1: when the forgotten aspect appears, we recognize it, we are
5:54
Speaker 1: obliged to correct the straying line. Thus the perpetual and
5:58
Speaker 1: fruitful surprise which may so salutary and invigorating for me
6:02
Speaker 1: these daily outings with the charming damsels of the seashore
6:05
Speaker 1: consisted fully as much in recognition as in discovery. When
6:10
Speaker 1: there is added to this the agitation aroused by what
6:13
Speaker 1: these girls were to me, which was never quite what
6:16
Speaker 1: I had supposed, and meant that my expectancy of our
6:19
Speaker 1: next meeting resembled not so much my expectancy the time
6:22
Speaker 1: before as the still throbbing memory of our latest conversation.
6:27
Speaker 1: It will be realized that each of our excursions made
6:30
Speaker 1: a violent interruption in the course of my thoughts and
6:33
Speaker 1: moved them clean out of the direction which, in the
6:36
Speaker 1: solitude of my own room I had been able to
6:39
Speaker 1: trace for them at my leisure. That plotted course was forgotten,
6:44
Speaker 1: had ceased to exist when I returned home, buzzing like
6:47
Speaker 1: a hive of bees, with remarks which had disquieted me
6:50
Speaker 1: when I heard them and were still echoing in my brain.
6:54
Speaker 1: The other person is destroyed when we ceased to see him,
6:58
Speaker 1: after which his next appearance means a fresh creation of him,
7:01
Speaker 1: different from that which immediately preceded it, if not from
7:05
Speaker 1: them all. For the minimum variation that is to be
7:08
Speaker 1: found in these creations is duality. If we have in
7:12
Speaker 1: mind a strong and searching glance, a bold manner. It
7:15
Speaker 1: is inevitably next time by a half languid profile, a
7:19
Speaker 1: sort of dreamy gentleness, overlooked by us in our previous
7:23
Speaker 1: impression that we shall be on meeting him again, astonished,
7:28
Speaker 1: that is to say, almost solely struck in confronting our
7:32
Speaker 1: memory with the new reality. It is this that will
7:35
Speaker 1: mark the extent of our disappointment or surprise. Will appear
7:39
Speaker 1: to us like the revised version of an earlier reality,
7:42
Speaker 1: warning us that we had not remembered it correctly. In
7:46
Speaker 1: its turn, the facial aspect neglected the time before, and
7:50
Speaker 1: for that very reason, the most striking this time, the
7:53
Speaker 1: most real, the most documentary, will become a matter for
7:56
Speaker 1: dreams and memories. It is a languorous and profile, a gentle,
8:01
Speaker 1: dreamy expression, which we shall now desire to see again.
8:05
Speaker 1: And then next time, such resolution, such strength of character,
8:10
Speaker 1: as there may be in the piercing eyes, the pointed nose,
8:13
Speaker 1: the tight lips, will come to correct the discrepancy between
8:16
Speaker 1: our desire and the object to which it has supposed
8:19
Speaker 1: itself to correspond. It is understood, of course, that this
8:23
Speaker 1: loyalty to the first and purely physical impressions which I
8:26
Speaker 1: formed afresh at each encounter with my friends, did not
8:30
Speaker 1: involve only their facial appearance, Since the reader has seen
8:33
Speaker 1: that I was sensible also of their voices. More disquieting still, perhaps,
8:38
Speaker 1: for not only does a voice offer the same strange
8:41
Speaker 1: and sensuous surfaces as a face, it issues from that unknown,
8:45
Speaker 1: inaccessible region, the mere thought of which sets the mind
8:48
Speaker 1: swimming with unattainable kisses. Their voices, each like the unique
8:52
Speaker 1: sound of a little instrument into which the player put
8:55
Speaker 1: all her artistry and which was found only in her possession,
9:00
Speaker 1: traced by a casual inflection. A sudden deep chord in
9:03
Speaker 1: one of their voices, would astonish me when I recognized
9:06
Speaker 1: after having forgotten it, so much so that the corrections
9:10
Speaker 1: which after every fresh meeting I was obliged to make,
9:12
Speaker 1: so as to insure absolute accuracy, were as much those
9:16
Speaker 1: of a tuner or singing master as a draftsman. As
9:21
Speaker 1: for the harmonious cohesion in which had been neutralized for
9:24
Speaker 1: some time by the resistance that each brought to bear
9:27
Speaker 1: against the expansion of the others, these several waves of
9:30
Speaker 1: sentiment set in motion in me by these girls, it
9:33
Speaker 1: was broken in Albertine's favor. One afternoon, when we were
9:36
Speaker 1: playing the game of Ferret. It was in a little
9:39
Speaker 1: wood on the cliff, stationed between two girls, strangers to
9:43
Speaker 1: the little band, whom the band had brought in its train,
9:46
Speaker 1: because we wanted that day to have a bigger party
9:48
Speaker 1: than usual. I gazed enviously at Albertine's neighbor, a young man,
9:53
Speaker 1: saying to myself that if I had been in his place,
9:56
Speaker 1: I could have been touching my friend's hands, all those
9:58
Speaker 1: miraculous moments which might perhaps never recur, and that this
10:02
Speaker 1: would have been but the first stage in a great
10:04
Speaker 1: advance already by itself, and even without the consequences which
10:10
Speaker 1: it would probably have involved, the contact of Albertine's hands
10:13
Speaker 1: would have been delicious to me, not that I had
10:17
Speaker 1: ever seen prettier hands than hers, even in the group
10:20
Speaker 1: of her friends. Those of Andrea, slender hands and much
10:23
Speaker 1: finelier modeled, had, as it were, a private life of
10:26
Speaker 1: their own, obedient to the commands of their mistress, but independent,
10:30
Speaker 1: and used often to strain out before her like a
10:33
Speaker 1: leash of thoroughbred greyhounds, with lazy pauses, long dreams, sudden
10:38
Speaker 1: stretchings of a joint, seeing which Elster had made a
10:41
Speaker 1: number of studies of these hands, and in one of them,
10:44
Speaker 1: in which you saw Andrea warming her hands at the fire,
10:47
Speaker 1: they had, with the light behind them, the gilded transparency
10:51
Speaker 1: of two autumn leaves, but plumper than these. The hands
10:55
Speaker 1: of Albertine would yield for a moment, then resist the
10:58
Speaker 1: pressure of the hand that clasped them, giving a sensation
11:02
Speaker 1: that was quite peculiar to themselves. The act of pressing
11:05
Speaker 1: Albertine's hand had a sensual sweetness, which was in keeping
11:08
Speaker 1: somehow with the rosy, almost mauve coloring of her skin.
11:13
Speaker 1: That pressure seemed to allow you to penetrate into the
11:15
Speaker 1: girl's being, to plumb the depths of her senses, like
11:19
Speaker 1: the ringing sound of her laughter, indecent as may be
11:22
Speaker 1: the cooing of doves or certain animal cries. She was
11:25
Speaker 1: the sort of woman with whom shaking hands affords so
11:28
Speaker 1: much pleasure that one feels grateful to civilization for having
11:31
Speaker 1: made of the hand clasp a lawful act between young
11:34
Speaker 1: men and girls when they meet. If the arbitrary code
11:38
Speaker 1: of good manners had replaced the clasp of hands by
11:41
Speaker 1: some other gesture, I should have gazed day after day
11:44
Speaker 1: at the unattainable hands of Albertine, with curiosity to know
11:48
Speaker 1: the feel of them, as ardent as was my curiosity
11:50
Speaker 1: to learn the savor of her cheeks, but in the
11:53
Speaker 1: pleasure of holding her hand unrestrictedly in mind, had I
11:57
Speaker 1: been next to her at Ferret, I did not invisit
12:00
Speaker 1: that pleasure alone. What avowals, declarations silenced hitherto by my
12:05
Speaker 1: bashfulness I could have conveyed, by certain pressures of hand
12:08
Speaker 1: on hand on her side, how easy it would have
12:12
Speaker 1: been for her, in responding by other pressures, to show
12:15
Speaker 1: me that she accepted, what complicity, what a vista of
12:19
Speaker 1: happiness stood open, My love would be able to make
12:23
Speaker 1: more advance in a few minutes spent thus by her side,
12:25
Speaker 1: than it had yet made in all the time that
12:27
Speaker 1: I had known her, Feeling that they would last but
12:31
Speaker 1: a short time, were rapidly nearing their end, Since presumingly
12:35
Speaker 1: we were not going on much longer with this game,
12:38
Speaker 1: and that once it was over, I should be too late,
12:40
Speaker 1: I could not keep in my place for another moment.
12:43
Speaker 1: I let myself deliberately be caught with the ring, and
12:46
Speaker 1: having gone into the middle, when the ring passed. I
12:49
Speaker 1: pretended not to see it, but followed its course with
12:51
Speaker 1: my eyes, waiting for the moment when it should come
12:54
Speaker 1: into the hands of the young man next to Albertine,
12:57
Speaker 1: who herself peeling with helpless laughter, and in the excitement
13:00
Speaker 1: and pleasure of the game, was blushing like a rose.
13:04
Speaker 1: Why we really are in the fairy wood, said Andre
13:08
Speaker 1: to me, pointing to the trees that grew all around,
13:11
Speaker 1: with a smile in her eyes, which was meant only
13:13
Speaker 1: for me and seemed to pass over the heads of
13:15
Speaker 1: the other players, as though we two alone were clever
13:18
Speaker 1: enough to double our parts and make in connection with
13:21
Speaker 1: the game we were playing, a remark of a poetic nature.
13:25
Speaker 1: She even carried the delicacy of her fancy so far
13:28
Speaker 1: as to sing, half unconsciously, the ferret of the wood
13:32
Speaker 1: has passed this way, sweet ladies, He has passed this way,
13:35
Speaker 1: the ferret of fairy wood. Like those people who cannot
13:38
Speaker 1: visit tryan on without getting up a party in Louis
13:41
Speaker 1: sixteenth costume, or think it effective to have a song
13:45
Speaker 1: sung to its original setting, I should no doubt have
13:49
Speaker 1: been sorry that I could see no charm in this
13:51
Speaker 1: piece of mimicry. Had I had time to think of it,
13:54
Speaker 1: but my thoughts were all elsewhere. The players began to
13:58
Speaker 1: show surprise at my stupidity, never getting the ring. I
14:02
Speaker 1: was looking at Aurotine, so pretty, so indifferent, so gay, who,
14:07
Speaker 1: though she little knew it was, to be my neighbor.
14:09
Speaker 1: When I at last should catch the ring in the
14:11
Speaker 1: right hands, thanks to a stratagem which she did not
14:14
Speaker 1: suspect and would certainly have resented if she had. In
14:18
Speaker 1: the heat of the game, her long hair had become
14:20
Speaker 1: loosened and fell in curling locks over her cheeks, on
14:24
Speaker 1: which it served to intensify by its dry brownness, the
14:28
Speaker 1: carnation pink. You have the tresses of Laura Deante, of
14:32
Speaker 1: Eleanor of Guillen, and of her descendants, so beloved of Chateaubrian.
14:38
Speaker 1: You ought always to wear your hair half down like that,
14:42
Speaker 1: I murmured in her ear, as an excuse for drawing
14:44
Speaker 1: close to her. Suddenly the ring passed to her neighbor.
14:48
Speaker 1: I sprang upon him at once, forced open his hands,
14:51
Speaker 1: and seized it. He was obliged now to take my
14:54
Speaker 1: place inside the circle, while I took his beside. Albertine.
14:58
Speaker 1: A few minutes earlier I had in envying this young
15:01
Speaker 1: man when I saw that his hands, as they slipped
15:03
Speaker 1: over the cord, were constantly brushing against hers. Now that
15:07
Speaker 1: my turn was come to shy to seek too much
15:10
Speaker 1: moved to enjoy this contact, I no longer felt anything
15:14
Speaker 1: save the rapid and painful beating of my heart. At
15:18
Speaker 1: one moment, Albertine leaned toward me, with an air of
15:21
Speaker 1: connivance around and rosy face, making a show of having
15:24
Speaker 1: the ring so as to deceive the ferret and keep
15:28
Speaker 1: him from looking in the direction in which she was
15:30
Speaker 1: just going to pass it. I realized at once that
15:33
Speaker 1: this was the sole object of Albertine's mysterious, confidential gaze.
15:38
Speaker 1: But I was a little shocked to see thus kindle
15:40
Speaker 1: in her eyes, the image purely fictitious, invented to serve
15:44
Speaker 1: the needs of a gang, of a secret an understanding
15:48
Speaker 1: between her and myself which did not exist, but which
15:51
Speaker 1: from that moment seemed to me to be possible and
15:54
Speaker 1: would have been divinely sweet. While I was still being
15:58
Speaker 1: swept aloft by this thought, I felt a slight pressure
16:01
Speaker 1: of Albertine's hand against mine, and her caressing finger slip
16:05
Speaker 1: under my finger. Along the cord, and I saw her
16:08
Speaker 1: at the same moment give me a wink, which she
16:11
Speaker 1: tried to make pass unperceived by the others at once
16:15
Speaker 1: a mass of hopes, invisible, hitherto by myself crystallized within me.
16:21
Speaker 1: She is taking advantage of the game to let me
16:23
Speaker 1: feel that she really does love me, I thought to myself,
16:26
Speaker 1: in an acme of joy from which no sooner had
16:29
Speaker 1: I reached it than I fell on hearing Albertine mutter furiously,
16:34
Speaker 1: why can't you take it? I've been shoving it at
16:37
Speaker 1: you for the last hour. Stunned with grief, I let
16:41
Speaker 1: go the cord. The ferret saw the ring and swooped
16:44
Speaker 1: down on it, and I had to go back into
16:46
Speaker 1: the middle, where I stood helpless in despair, looking at
16:49
Speaker 1: the unbridled rout, which continued to circle round me, stung
16:53
Speaker 1: by the jeering shouts of all the players, obliged in
16:56
Speaker 1: reply to laugh when I had so little mind for laughter,
17:00
Speaker 1: while Albertine kept on repeating, people can't play if they
17:03
Speaker 1: don't pay attention and spoil the game for the others.
17:06
Speaker 1: He shan't be asked again when we're going to play, Andrea.
17:09
Speaker 1: If he is, I don't come. Andrea, with a mind
17:13
Speaker 1: above the game, still chanting her fairy wood, which, in
17:17
Speaker 1: a spirit of imitation, Rosamond had taken up too, but
17:20
Speaker 1: without conviction, sought to make a diversion from Albertine's reproaches
17:24
Speaker 1: by saying to me, we're quite close to those old
17:27
Speaker 1: crunieres you wanted so much to see. Look, I'll take
17:31
Speaker 1: you there by a dear little path and won't leave
17:33
Speaker 1: these sillilly idiots to go on playing like babies in
17:35
Speaker 1: the nursery. As Andrea was extremely nice to me as
17:39
Speaker 1: we went along, I said to her everything about Albertine
17:41
Speaker 1: that seemed calculated to make me attractive to the latter.
17:45
Speaker 1: Andrea replied that she too was very fond of Albertine,
17:48
Speaker 1: thought her charming, in spite of which the compliments that
17:51
Speaker 1: I was paying to her friend did not seem altogether
17:53
Speaker 1: to please her. Suddenly, in the sunken little path I
17:56
Speaker 1: stopped short, touched to the heart by an exquisite memory
17:59
Speaker 1: of my childhood. I had just recognized by the fretted
18:03
Speaker 1: and glossy leaves which it thrust out towards me, a
18:06
Speaker 1: hawthorn bush flowerless alas now that spring was over around
18:11
Speaker 1: me floated the atmosphere of far off months of May
18:15
Speaker 1: of Sunday, afternoons of beliefs or errors long ago forgotten,
18:20
Speaker 1: I wanted to stay in its passage. I stood still
18:23
Speaker 1: for a moment, and Andrea, with a charming divination of
18:26
Speaker 1: what was in my mind, left me to converse with
18:28
Speaker 1: the leaves of the bush. I asked them for news
18:31
Speaker 1: of the flowers, those hawthorn flowers that were like merry
18:34
Speaker 1: little girls, headstrong, provocative, pious. The young ladies have been
18:39
Speaker 1: gone from here for a long time now, the leaves
18:41
Speaker 1: told me, And perhaps they thought that for the great
18:45
Speaker 1: friend of those young ladies that I pretended to be,
18:47
Speaker 1: I seemed to have singularly little knowledge of their habits.
18:51
Speaker 1: A great friend, but one who had never been to
18:53
Speaker 1: see them again for all these years, despite his promises.
18:57
Speaker 1: And yet as Gilbert had been my first love among girls,
19:01
Speaker 1: so these had been my first love among flowers. Yes,
19:05
Speaker 1: I know all that they leave about the middle of June,
19:07
Speaker 1: I answered, but I am so delighted to see the
19:09
Speaker 1: place where they stayed. When they were here. They came
19:12
Speaker 1: to see me too, at Combrae in my room. My
19:15
Speaker 1: mother brought them when I was ill in bed, and
19:17
Speaker 1: we used to meet on Saturday evenings too, at the
19:20
Speaker 1: month of Mary devotions. Can you get to them from here? Oh?
19:27
Speaker 1: Of course. Why they make a special point of having
19:29
Speaker 1: our young ladies at this Somme Denis du des Air,
19:33
Speaker 1: the church near here. Then if I want to see
19:37
Speaker 1: them now, oh, not before May next year. But I
19:41
Speaker 1: can be sure that they will be here. They come
19:44
Speaker 1: regularly every year. Only I don't know whether it will
19:47
Speaker 1: be easy to find the place. Oh dear, yes, they
19:51
Speaker 1: are so gay, and the young ladies they stop laughing
19:53
Speaker 1: only to sing hymns together, so that you can't possibly
19:56
Speaker 1: miss them. You can tell by the scent. From the
19:58
Speaker 1: other end of the path. I caught up to Andrea
20:02
Speaker 1: and began to sing Albertine's praises. It was inconceivable to
20:06
Speaker 1: me that she would not repeat what I said to
20:08
Speaker 1: her friend, seeing the emphasis that I had put into it.
20:11
Speaker 1: And yet I never heard that Albertine had been told.
20:15
Speaker 1: Andrea had nevertheless a far greater understanding of the things
20:18
Speaker 1: of the heart, a refinement of nice behavior, finding the look,
20:22
Speaker 1: the word, the action that could most ingeniously give pleasure,
20:26
Speaker 1: keeping to herself a remark that might possibly cause pain,
20:30
Speaker 1: making a sacrifice and making it as though it were
20:33
Speaker 1: no sacrifice at all, of an afternoon's play, or it
20:37
Speaker 1: might be an at home or a garden party in
20:40
Speaker 1: order to stay beside a friend who was feeling sad,
20:43
Speaker 1: and thus show him or her that she preferred the
20:45
Speaker 1: simple company of a friend to frivolous pleasures. These were
20:49
Speaker 1: her habitual delicacies. But when one knew her a little better,
20:54
Speaker 1: one would have said that it was with her as
20:56
Speaker 1: with those heroic cravens who wish not to be afraid,
20:59
Speaker 1: and whose brain is especially meritorious. One would have said
21:03
Speaker 1: that in her true character, there was none of that
21:05
Speaker 1: generosity which she displayed at every moment out of moral
21:08
Speaker 1: distinction or sensibility, or a noble desire to show herself
21:12
Speaker 1: a true friend. When I listened to all the charming
21:15
Speaker 1: things she was saying to me about a possible affection
21:18
Speaker 1: between Albertine and myself, it seemed as though she were
21:21
Speaker 1: bound to do everything in her power to bring it
21:23
Speaker 1: to pass, Whereas, by mere chance, perhaps not even of
21:27
Speaker 1: the least of the various minor opportunities which were at
21:30
Speaker 1: her disposal and might have proved effective in uniting me
21:33
Speaker 1: to Albertine, did she ever make any use? And I
21:36
Speaker 1: would not swear that my effort to make myself loved
21:38
Speaker 1: by Albertine did not, if not provoke in her friend's
21:42
Speaker 1: secret stratagem, is destined to bring it to nought at
21:45
Speaker 1: any rate, arouse in her in anger, which however, she
21:48
Speaker 1: took good care to hide, and against which even in
21:51
Speaker 1: her delicacy of feeling, she may herself have fought. Of
21:55
Speaker 1: the countless refinements of goodness which Andrea showed Albertine would
21:59
Speaker 1: have been in cable. And yet I was not certain
22:02
Speaker 1: of the underlying goodness of the former, as I was
22:04
Speaker 1: to be later on of the latters. Showing herself always
22:08
Speaker 1: tenderly indulgent to the exuberant frivolity of Albertine, Andrea would
22:12
Speaker 1: greet her with speeches with smiles which were those of
22:15
Speaker 1: a friend. Better still, she always acted towards her as
22:18
Speaker 1: a friend. I have seen her day after day, in
22:21
Speaker 1: order to give the benefit of her own wealth, to
22:24
Speaker 1: bring some happiness to this penniless friend, take without any
22:28
Speaker 1: possibility of advantage to herself, more pains than a courtier
22:32
Speaker 1: would take who sought to win his sovereign's favor. She
22:36
Speaker 1: was charmingly gentle, always charming in her choice of sweet,
22:40
Speaker 1: pathetic expressions. When you said to her, what a pity
22:43
Speaker 1: it was that Albertine was so poor and took infinitely
22:45
Speaker 1: more trouble on her behalf than she would have taken
22:48
Speaker 1: for a wealthy friend. But if anyone were to hint
22:51
Speaker 1: that Albertine was perhaps not quite so poor as people
22:54
Speaker 1: made out, a just discernible cloud would veil the light
22:57
Speaker 1: of Andrea's eyes and brow. She seemed out of timper.
23:00
Speaker 1: And if you went on to say that, after all,
23:02
Speaker 1: Albertine might perhaps be less difficult to marry off than
23:05
Speaker 1: people supposed, she would vehemently contradict you, repeating almost angrily, Oh, dear, no,
23:12
Speaker 1: she will never get married. I am quite certain of it.
23:14
Speaker 1: It is a dreadful worry to me. In so far
23:17
Speaker 1: as I myself was concerned, Andrea was the only one
23:20
Speaker 1: of the girls who would never have repeated to me
23:22
Speaker 1: anything not very pleasant that might have been said about
23:25
Speaker 1: me by a third person. More than that, if it
23:29
Speaker 1: were I who told her what had been said, she
23:32
Speaker 1: would make a pretense of not believing it, or would
23:35
Speaker 1: furnish some explanation which made the remark inoffensive. It is
23:39
Speaker 1: the aggregate of these qualities that goes by the name
23:42
Speaker 1: of tact. Tact is the attribute of those people who,
23:45
Speaker 1: if we have called a man out in a duel,
23:48
Speaker 1: congratulate us and add that there was no necessity really,
23:52
Speaker 1: so as to enhance still further in our own eyes
23:55
Speaker 1: the courage of which we have given proof without having
23:57
Speaker 1: been forced to do so. They are the opposite of
24:01
Speaker 1: the people who, in similar circumstances say, it must have
24:04
Speaker 1: been a horrid nuisance for you fighting a duel, But
24:07
Speaker 1: on the other hand, you couldn't possibly swallow an insult
24:09
Speaker 1: like that there was nothing else to be done. But
24:13
Speaker 1: as there is always something to be said on both sides,
24:16
Speaker 1: if the pleasure, or at least the indifference shown by
24:19
Speaker 1: our friends in repeating something offensive that they have heard
24:22
Speaker 1: said about us proves that they do not exactly put
24:25
Speaker 1: themselves in our skin at the moment of speaking, but
24:28
Speaker 1: thrust in the pinpoint turn the knife blade as though
24:32
Speaker 1: it were the gold beater's skin and not human. The
24:35
Speaker 1: art of always keeping hidden from us what might be
24:37
Speaker 1: disagreeable to us in what they have heard said about
24:40
Speaker 1: our actions or in the opinion which those actions have
24:43
Speaker 1: led the speakers themselves to form of us, proves that
24:47
Speaker 1: there is in the other kind of friends, in the
24:49
Speaker 1: friends who are so full of tact, a strong vein
24:52
Speaker 1: of dissimulation. It does no harm if indeed they are
24:56
Speaker 1: incapable of thinking evil, and if what is said by
24:59
Speaker 1: other people only may make them suffer as it would
25:01
Speaker 1: make us. I suppose this to be the case with Andrea,
25:06
Speaker 1: without however, being absolutely sure. End of Section forty six.