Latest / The Steve & Jeff Show / S2 E13 - Pharma Brute, Deconstructed

Transcript

S2 E13 - Pharma Brute, Deconstructed · The Steve & Jeff Show

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Previously on the Steven Jeff show.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_01: We're funny.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_01: We really want to raise awareness.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: We are not gonna go for the cheap laughs.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_02: My sweet baby Daphne has she's actually the sweetest thing I've ever seen.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know if I can know.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_02: She knows a lot of words.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: One was Hey cheap fucking bastard.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_02: That's startling.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: Here's Perma Ace.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: And now I guess not.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_02: A little bit irritated at times, but usually the DMV.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: The female Sam Kinnison.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's a sure thing.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_01: Money leads to awareness.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: Awareness isn't free.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: Still going.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: Still still going.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: Johnny, take us out of this show.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: Uh sure, Steve.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, no, I've got to say it.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: But you should follow and subscribe to the Steve and Jeff Show.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: Johnny was so shocked by that last show that I think he swallowed his own words, which that's dangerous.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_02: As a rule, I don't swallow words.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: But how's it going, Steve?
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: It's always great to be back, but been a really crazy few days, crazy weekend.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: Spent a little time in the hospital.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: I started to get some chest pains.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, I eat some exotic foods.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, I was over at my mom's, and so we're eating the mac and cheese, and we were throwing back the pop-up.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: And it was it was indigestion because you know, my mom put a little too much cream in the mac and cheese.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: And anyway, it was just indigestion, but did get to spend some time in the ER.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: And you know those ERs.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: No, and they talk about emergency room.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's really more like an emergency auditorium.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's a huge room, and it's like these curtains, and you can hear everything.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: Once they realized that I had just overeaten and probably drank too much, well, you know, they were real interested in me after that.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: So they were off doing other stuff, and I heard them in the place next door, just the other side of the curtain there.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: Did you knock?
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I knocked, but it's funny, it's a cloud, it just kind of went.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: The curtain, it's like it's it didn't even make a sound, it just kind of moved.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: You could hear all the conversation.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: So I heard this doctor with this lady next to me over in the other one with the the other side of the curtain.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, she's in great pain.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: I heard all over.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: She says, Doctor says, Well, what do you mean?
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: Heard all over.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: Say, you know, can you be a little more specific?
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm getting curious.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: And so I knew because when I knocked on the curtain, I saw it moved, so I knew this curtain moved, right?
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: It wasn't a wall really.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: So I kind of moved it a little so I could look.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: Just kind of wanted to see.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: You're not supposed to do that, and that's kind of weird, but I did it.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: And so she said, you know, I heard all over.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: So he said, Can you be more specific?
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: So she touches her knee, right knee with her finger, and she yells, ah, oh, that hurts.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: Then she touches her nose and yells again, oh, it hurts.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's that hurts so much.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: Touches her left earlobe, earlobe.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, can you imagine?
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, when does your earlobe hurt?
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: The earlobe ever hurt.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, come on, right?
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: She touches her earlobe and then she yells, oh, even that hurts, doc.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, the doctor, I I can see he was a little confused at first, but he kind of started like understanding it's all that medical knowledge, understanding came onto his face.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's just it was amazing.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: And so after she does the earlobe thing, the doctor says, I think I know what your problem is.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: You have a broken finger.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_02: Kind of a mental illness sort of thing, too, right, Steve?
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it's like, well, if you probably were a little concerned.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_01: Well, if she touched your head, it would have hurt too.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: I I suppose, right?
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I touched you.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: If she reached through that curtain and tried to do it, you know, then she would have hurt and I would have hurt because I'll tell you, I nothing personal, but I really didn't want her touching me.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: You know what?
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: I I don't know.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I just a hospital, it's dirty, it's uh, you know, no place to be if you're sick.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_02: The place that you are most likely to pick up germs are in a hospital.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I'm just glad you're okay.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: You sound good.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: I did pick up some germs.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: I picked up some Swedes, some Slovaks.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I got through it.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: I went back to my mom's, had another drink afterwards.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: Bob was just indigestion.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: I'm good now.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, a little vodka soda just kind of really hit the spot.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_02: I do.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, Steve, I think it brings up a good point, which is that our show is all about helping people, and a lot of it is about mental health and physical health.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_02: We've done episodes on how you can take care of your body, how you can take care of your mind.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: Doing surgery on yourself.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: We did the self-surgery, it's great.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: Going back to last season, Dr.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: Eh with the cure for COVID.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like in some ways, people who want to be doctors could skip medical school and just listen to our podcast.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_02: You know, they could probably be qualified to be a doctor.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: In fact, you know, Jeff, I am going to see what it takes, and I'm going to get this show qualified for continuing medical education.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: That would help so many people.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: That would really bring the health, the good feelings, the spirit, the happiness, the joy, the humanity, the money, the money.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, we would get paid, I'm assuming.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: Not that we're all about the money, but you know, Jeff, when you make people feel better, they pay you.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly what we're looking for.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: And that's how it works.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes, exactly, Jeff.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so glad that you brought that up because one of our great sponsors, in fact, the sponsor that made our last show possible, we really took juvenile Tourette syndrome seriously.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: And we didn't go for those cheap jokes.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: We really tried to raise awareness and raise money.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: And we did raise a lot of awareness.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_01: I gotta say, we didn't really raise any money, but we got some pledges.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_01: We might get some money, but but I digress.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: The only reason we were able to do that show is because we had a great sponsor, that great company, PharmaBrute.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_02: Joe, the owner of Farmer Brute, it must have been 30, 40 years ago when we first were in contact with him, and he was just starting out.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_02: And now he's built this company into something he should be really proud of.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_02: I know that we are very lucky to have him as a sponsor.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_02: He could be advertising anywhere.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: Back in 1972, when we started this podcast, he stood alone as our sponsor and he said, Yes, I will sponsor you.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: And uh he's been by our side ever since, and he's been supplying us with good pharmaceutical products ever since.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_02: And even some emergencies that we've had along the way.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_02: I think was it Christmas or Thanksgiving?
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_02: Remember, we had that problem.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_02: You know, we had one of those parties where all of our sponsors were there, and I remember one of us being sick and Joe jumping in and taking care of us and forever grateful for that.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_02: I think it's important for us to recognize these sponsors and what they do besides paying us, right?
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_02: Which is important, which is important, uh, but what they do beyond paying us is equally important.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you know, Jeff, we have a great guest that I want to bring on here in a second.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: But before we do that, I just have to point out to the listeners, to the millions.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_01: I guess let's be honest, the millions of listeners, Jeff.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: Come on.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: I just want to point out that we now have back from her trip, her free trip to Mozambique that she won for becoming our producer.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: We have Miss Claire is back with us.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, Miss Claire.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: Well, hello.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: And she is just so excited to be back.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: So happy to be here.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I'm glad she's here, Steve.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I was a little concerned when we sent her to Mozambique because I was afraid she wouldn't come back.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_02: You know, we've lost the research that way.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_02: Who wouldn't want to live there?
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: But we digress.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: Getting back to Farmer Brute.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: We Farmer Brute, yes.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: We wanted to get our longtime friend Joe Sr.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: But he wasn't available.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: He's on a little vacation.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: He went to some place called rehab.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not sure where that is, but in Mexico, maybe.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: But he sent a representative.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_01: And what a representative he sent, Jeff.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: You know, he sent he sent Joe Jr., his son, the heir to the throne, if you will.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: Let me let me tap the window.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: He's just on the other side of that glass.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: I think I see him.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, Joe Jr., it's a pleasure to have you on the show.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, Joe.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: Uh Steve and Jeff, thanks for having me on.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm glad that we may have helped you, even though the uh drugs refinery probably made you sicker.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, oh, oh, wow.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: You know, pharma boots have been really a good friend, a good sponsor, and they've provided a lot of a lot of pharmaceuticals that I I've taken a few of.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: I I've taken some of the uh placebics because I I like pills that do nothing.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I know Jeff has taken quite a few of them.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: He's he's pretty much got their whole catalog down, and that could have made us sicker.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, oh, yeah, yeah.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: Part of it's true.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, they can make you sicker, but I mean it it's partly true.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: Uh Pharma Brute is my dad's company.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I it's not necessarily my company.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not a owner of Pharma Brute.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: Uh having Joe Sr.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: uh I thought it was a family business, especially with all the uh the hard work uh I put in to make it successful.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: Turns out it's just his and we all work for him.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: Oh now work for him now.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_02: Joe Jr., I remember in the 80s we would get together with Farmer Brute, and I remember Joe Jr.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_02: being the cutest little boy running around and playing with all the drugs.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_02: There were a lot of drugs out there.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: Remember, you were like he was kind of like the sweet baby Daphne of the 80s, except without the Tourette's.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_02: How did you fall off the rails here?
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: Was it oh I mean, as far as that goes, you know, it's it's just kind of a thing.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: You you work hard for a goal all your life, thinking, you know, this is gonna help me down the road.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: And then all of a sudden your dad just goes, We can't tell anybody about this.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: He then just kind of stands in his limelight in the middle of those.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, you remember those 80s parties.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: I was running around trying to grab everybody's wallets.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: I thought it was cute, you know.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_01: It wasn't really larceny, it was it was it was play, it was fun.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, that was my dad's motto.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's not theft if you're adorable.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's what made him so successful all these years.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: Certainly, he definitely knows how to be successful.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm really sorry to hear that things aren't happy at the house of Farmer Brute.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's not really anymore the house of Farmer Brute.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's we've all kind of moved on.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, he's kind of got the uh one bedroom apartment of Farmer Brute now, and we're just kind of all in a different area.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: So wow, you aren't really with Farmer Brute anymore?
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: Uh no.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: Uh in fact, uh, my twin brother, uh, let's see.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: Uh we have Francis Jr., my mom, uh Beatrice Jr.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: We work uh for my company, uh actually uh our company.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Now it's uh it's uh FDC Inc.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: So and what does your company do?
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: We do a lot of things.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: We're still in the same field that my father sure, if you want to call them that.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: Uh we call them remedies, cocktails, if you will, but we try not to use the D-word too much uh around that.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it's more just holistic, all natural, organic stuff.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: You feel better without you know all the toxic and dangerous stuff my dad used to sell.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: This is a very different company than the company your dad runs in, right?
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it's a completely different company.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: I get to share, we get to uh share in all the profits.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, and are is your family still working for your dad or for you?
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: The family works for for my company, our company.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: We're all wrapped up in FDC.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: I bet your dad's proud.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_02: Does he feel good about what you guys are doing?
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you should ask him next time.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, when he gets back from rehab Mexico, I'm gonna ask him that.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_01: You know, Jeff, we have a lot more to talk about with this guest, but I think now would be a good time to point out to our listeners, kind of like Johnny did when he swallowed his words, people that enjoy this podcast should follow and subscribe wherever they listen to this podcast.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: And we only are able to say that because we're on all these streaming services, because of our great podcast host, Buzz Sprouts.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_02: I remember when we first got started with them, I was a little skeptical.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_02: In fact, I think I've said I kept saying to you, this Brussels sprouts.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_01: You know, maybe I was leaning a little more toward the Joe Jr.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_01: type of company because when I heard Sprouts, I thought Alfalfa Sprouts, I was thinking a little healthier, but I kind of had the same thought.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, what are we farmers?
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_01: What are we what is this?
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: What are we doing here?
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: But I digress, Buzz Sprout has been a great podcast host.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_01: And in fact, more than a hundred thousand podcasters use BuzzSprout as their podcast host, just like we do.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_01: Now, we're funnier than the other 100,000, but they all use BuzzSprout.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_01: And they use BuzzSprout because BuzzSprout has a great platform, it's easy to understand, easy to track your podcast, easy to get on all those streaming services.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_01: We even finally got on i Liver, I whatever that one is, i lung, something like that.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_01: But I digress.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, BuzzSprout has a very easy to use system.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_01: So anyone looking to start or improve their podcast, really, click on the link in our show notes, and you will get a$20 BuzzSprout credit that should last you about seven and a half minutes of podcast time, but I digress.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's still$20, and it helps our show.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_01: It lets Buzzsprout know that yeah, you know, I you're one of the millions that listens to our show.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_02: So I have some plumbing that needs to be done in the house, trying to get somebody to come out and help me.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_02: And there is no such thing as customer service anymore, except with Buzzsprout, because Buzzsprout has the best customer service I could ever imagine.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_02: Every time we asked questions, every time we had a problem, they were right there for us.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_02: I know they're happy that you know we've got a million followers on our show, and you know, so they're probably very happy with that.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_02: But yeah, I could not be happier with any other provider.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_01: They did a wonderful job installing some new sinks in my house.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_01: So I I just think I just think the world of them.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you, Buzz Sprout.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, but tell us tell us about this new company.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's holistically based, very interesting, medicinal, but holistical.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we've got products we we sell, products that are are completely natural, uh, and they cure everything.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, they've been uh tested for for thousands of years in places all around the world, you know, that are known for state-of-the-art healthcare.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm talking about Morocco, I'm talking about Guam, I'm talking about what's that third Caribbean island, you know the one Tobago, Tobago Trinidad.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: Well, uh Trinidad and Tobago.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: That's that's the one.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, you got them both.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: You got them both.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: That's great.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: We spared no expense in FDC Inc.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_02: I would imagine in those countries that you could do a lot of really good testing.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_02: Probably not a lot of paperwork that you have to fill out.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, yeah.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: We we save we save yeah, we our but our RD budget is amazing when we don't have to deal with red tape and legalities and all of that kind of stuff.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's very, very open and wide, uh, both in subject matter, uh testing subjects and what you're able to actually fix and what constitutes real medicine.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_01: I would imagine if you don't have to prove that your products are safe, that that really opens up the market for all kinds of products.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_01: You can really you can sell quite a bit.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, you can sell uh fantastic.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: And again, uh you don't sell snake oil when you're using actual snakes.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's that kind of thing when you're when you're just trying to you know figure that out.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_02: You know how they do they test products like on animals to see if they work or not.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_02: But really, the the only test that matters is when you test it on people.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm imagining yeah, you probably can do some really cool testing.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: Just cut out the middle man, just go right to the people.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely right to the people, absolutely well, still can sell direct, yes, absolutely, absolutely works.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_01: So, uh Joe Jr., can you tell us a little bit about some of the products that you offer?
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: Because I know they're holistic and they're healthy and they're they make you feel better, but they're good for you, too.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's good for you, it's great for you.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: Again, just you know, start at the top.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: Our most popular products are in the uh the cancer and the hair loss categories.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of it's kind of ironic because the the two are popular, because you know the most popular treatment for cancer is chemotherapy, which can cause hair loss.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: But I mean, but then you put a delightful, delightful, healthy cocktail of ground-up goat testicles and earworm vaginas, and you can not only cure cancer, but you can grow more hair than you started with.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, yeah, wow, worm vaginas.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: The tumor is gone.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: The tumor is gone, and you have an afro.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's amazing.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_02: I'm sorry, you know, the rec the sound here isn't quite as good as it normally is.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_02: I thought you said worm vaginas, but you said worm vaginas.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it is worm vaginas.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: That is that is what I said.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, okay, okay.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_01: I imagine they're like higher than room temperature, probably, right?
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, sure.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yes, they could be worm worm or you wanna you want to have them a little refrigerated to keep the freshness.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yes, because you don't want stale worm vaginas in in your cocktail because that will that would be terrible.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that'll mix everything up horribly.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't quite match in the that would even make pop-off taste bad.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, yeah, oh yeah, no, don't do that.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_02: Now, do you sell I don't know what they're called?
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I I I go to dispensaries and you see a lot of topicals where you know they're like ointments or things that you put on your body that you know if you've got back problems and stuff like that.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_02: But I think they probably have, in addition to having marijuana in them, they probably have some chemicals.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, do you deal with uh products that are you know that you would apply on top of your body?
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: And absolutely, you can a hundred percent uh what you can do, you take uh, you know, salamanders, you you put the salamander, you put them into uh a potato ricer and just give it a good hard squeeze.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: And what it'll do out of fear is it'll secrete uh a great kind of concoction.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: You mix that up, you grab a little bit of a uh baboon finger, put that in.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: What then you do is you uh take this is gonna sound insensitive, the labia of an elephant, and you put it into a blender and you extract uh just the juice from that.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: So then you have a salamander elephant concoction, and you put that all together, uh, and then you just rub that all over.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll tell you what, it is an experience you will never forget.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yo, I haven't even had the experience, and I don't think I can forget it.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_02: I sort of forgot what it was used for because just your description was kind of arousing and kind of helped in terms of you know sexual issues too.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, oh, of course.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, if we're gonna get down to that, obviously it was more of a relaxing, but you know, really uh that concoction can cure what you got.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's one of those kind of things.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, that's a back disease.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's a horrible disease, it afflicts many.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: If you're looking for what we've got right now, obviously the the most common problem that everybody has, but nobody wants to admit is you know, performance in the bedroom, arousal, desire.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: Best way to cure this problem we found is to make your wife more attractive.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: And we can't argue with that, exactly.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I understand, you know, we have a delightful group of gentlemen and Claire, but it would be a situation, obviously, if if she can put in half the work, you don't have to go as far to meet her halfway.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: So we made her more attractive with a fully uh it's a fully natural.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: I wanna I want to repeat that it's a fully natural cosmetic line.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_02: When's Mother's Day?
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly, you know.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it's the perfect or Father's Day, I guess.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_02: Father's Day too.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: Uh Mother's Day, definitely.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: Mother's Day, Father's Day.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we are nearing Valentine's Day, gentlemen.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: And this oh my goodness, yes, right.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: This is where it happens.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: What a perfect Valentine's Day gift.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: So let me let me tell you how it works.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: If for a small monthly charge, we can send your wife lipstick and other cosmetics made from ostrich lips, some of the softest and most beautiful lips of any creature known to man.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_02: They look good.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_01: Ostrich lips always look really it's all the time in the ground.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_01: They they just become soft.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's the clay, the soft clay.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: And if we got down to it, not bad eating either.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: Let's not kid ourselves.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_02: No, not bad.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, it's soft, beautiful lips of any creature known to man.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: And we also recognize, I mean, we're not we're not savages, we understand that appearance alone isn't enough to decrease you know the the sexual desires.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: So we we send the most arousing animal porn made in Marrakesh.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: The Marrakesh, okay.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: That is the birthplace of animal porn.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_02: I think I understand where you're going with this because a lot of porn has artificial chemicals in those.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_02: But here we're talking about holistic, all natural.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_02: What's more natural than animals?
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: All natural.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: You can't you can't tell me like I I will be real honest, gentlemen.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: AI is getting into porn, and it's not it's not good.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: You don't want anything artificial into that, okay?
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_01: And not only AI, but so many companies are creating genetically modified porn.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_01: And and then and they're driving out the the natural porn because of this genetically modified porn, and it's just it's terrible, and they're enslaving all these these these outlets.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_02: Steve, we need to do a show just on that, on what's happening in the porn industry.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_02: I grew up where the porn industry had standards.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, absolutely.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_02: Now you can't tell.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: My father was a man of the 70s, so he he knew he knew what natural porn was.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: So I I learned I learned many things from my father how to lie, how to make money from lying, how to pick pockets without touching someone's backside so they didn't know you were there.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: And he he showed me an appreciation for natural things in life.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so, again, we found Marrakesh's finest, okay?
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: So this um cocktail, so to speak.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's it's it's all natural, it's been around since farmers and sheep, okay.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing is more stimulating than watching two camels bumping, if you know what I mean, and doing the love dance.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: Uh again, if camels aren't your thing, if you feel that's too on the nose, there's too many undulations and bumping, and there's too much spitting, what have you?
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: You can choose uh from over 150 species that you can watch in the convenience of your home or your car or your yacht or your second house.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's it's really all that simple.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_01: Now, with camels, do you use the one hump camel or the two hump camel?
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_01: Or does it matter?
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_00: Pick your pleasure.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: I use an African and a dromedary together.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: So you've got the one hump and the two hump, and they just they commingle.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_02: I would imagine you watch on a Wednesday, which is hump day.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: So you got your hump day, you know what day it is.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_01: I did a little reading because I I think it's important as journalists that we have to do a little research and we research things a little bit.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_01: So I did a little research, and I I thought this was a pharma brute product, but I guess it's not.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: You have a product that apparently is very, very popular now called Golden Retrieval.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, oh, absolutely.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: And again, it's a thing.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: If you email us for a limited time only, and you tell us that you owe money to pharma brute, all right.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: Just yeah all you have to do is is send proof that you failed to pay them, and you'll receive a bottle of the golden retrieval.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: And what it essentially is, as the name states, it's a golden retriever anal glands jelly, okay, but it's guaranteed to carry a gout, herpes.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: The plague, chlamydia, and a little bit of gonorrhea.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: Not all of it, but it is a little bit of that.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: It'll get you most of the way there.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_02: Probably the stuff you can see.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: It'll keep you from being questioned.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_01: You can take very mild antibiotics to cure the rest.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: Mild, mild.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: And again, it's a great aftershave for nights out.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, when you want to score.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: I would imagine.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because again, what is more attractive to women?
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: A guy just with a dog.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: So now the dog's not even sharing the attention with the lady.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: So it is all on you.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: So again, if you send us an email, it's fdcinc at snailmail.com.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: If you send us that.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: And again, it's a limited time because we don't have you can't have all of the anal jelly.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: We have to make sure that it's in proper thing because we don't want to just add in baking soda and just spread it out.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_00: You want it to be quality, high quality jelly.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, it's got to be pure, it's got to be natural.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_01: It's and you know, Joe, I I understand that you have a commercial, and our own announcer, Johnny, has actually done this commercial for you.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: So we'd be glad to play that, even though, you know, now Farm Brute, your dad's been pretty good to us, but you know, Joe, I I'm kind of impressed with your story.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'm kind of impressed with your products.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: I I appreciate the compliments, gentlemen.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, not only I will be a I will be a great advertiser.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: I did take the time because I knew I knew where I was coming and I knew where I was going.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: And so I have a new commercial for you guys.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: So uh great.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_01: Johnny, play that commercial for us.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: Now I gotta admit, I have not done the commercial yet.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_01: We'll fix it in post.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_01: Right, Steve.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_01: We fixed it in post and can't wait to tell you about the new exciting product from FTC Inc., also known as Son of Farmer Bruce.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_01: Get ready for the nutraceutical that also helps you find the right partner.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, I'm talking about Golden Retrieval.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_01: Golden Retrieval gives you the health you need while also attracting people to you with the science of animal pheromones.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_01: Just one splash of golden retrieval, and your illness will not only be gone, you'll find you're the center of all the attention you can stand.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_01: In fact, Steve, let me move away from these dogs.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_01: That's better.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_01: Golden Retrieval contains pheromones from select canine analands.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_01: FTC mixed those pheromones with all natural artificial colors and flavors to create a gel that can raise your libido while also curing their lumbago.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_01: Doctor tested and loved by dogs and dog lovers worldwide.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_01: And it's all yours free of charge for a limited time if you can prove that you bought pharma root products and did not pay them.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_01: Cat owners have reported less time with their pets after use.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_01: Use center near a dog park could result in serious injury.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_01: Do not use Golden Retrieval if you are a furry.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_01: Not legal for sale in Utah.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_01: While the product does perform as stated, FDC cannot guarantee any increase in sex drive or acquisition of partners.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_01: Claims are not verified by the FDA, which does not like FDC.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_01: So stiff pharma brute and try some today.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_01: Golden Retrieval.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_01: It will fetch a lot more than the morning paper.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for coming in today.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_01: This has just been wonderful, and best to your dad if you talk to him.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_01: If you don't talk to him, you know, forget it.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe your lawyer can talk to his lawyer and tell him how much we appreciate him.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_02: Of course.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_02: And Steve, what a great show.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_02: It was.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.