Latest / Drawn of History / What Being a Dad Means to Matthew McConaughey(M4A_128K)

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What Being a Dad Means to Matthew McConaughey(M4A_128K) · Drawn of History

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  Speaker 1: Even like with family and stuff and being willing to
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  Speaker 1: do that, right? And be like, okay, this is a
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  Speaker 1: project that my wife and I, my partner and I
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  Speaker 1: are going to create together. Did you have fears about
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  Speaker 1: like that at certain points in your life of like
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  Speaker 1: starting a family and committing to that and doing that?
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  Speaker 2: Was that kind of tough? So, look, the one thing
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  Speaker 2: I always knew I wanted to be was a dad.
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  Speaker 2: Eight years old. Good story.
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  Speaker 3: So, you know, dad had introduced me to a lot
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  Speaker 3: of his male friends through life and, you Shake their hand,
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  Speaker 3: look them in the eye.
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  Speaker 2: Nice to meet you, sir.
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  Speaker 3: Sir, sir, sir was a big thing in our family.
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  Speaker 3: And I remember I was eight years old. We were
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  Speaker 3: in an Oak Forest Country Club parking lot.
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  Speaker 2: Hello, Longview, Texas. And I met these two men.
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  Speaker 3: They were both in black slacks, white shirts and black jackets.
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  Speaker 3: And one of them had shades on. And as I
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  Speaker 3: was shaking their hands, I remember the sunlight was behind me.
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  Speaker 3: It was kind of in my eyes. I was like,
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  Speaker 3: nice to meet you, sir. Nice to meet you, sir.
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  Speaker 3: It hit me in my eight-year-old mind at that time that, oh,
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  Speaker 3: and they were talking about their, they started talking about
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  Speaker 3: their own children. And it hit me in my eight-year-old
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  Speaker 3: mind that, oh, all the people I've shaken, all that
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  Speaker 3: my dad's introduced me to, that I shook their hands
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  Speaker 3: and said, sir, to were fathers. And in my eight-year-old mind,
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  Speaker 3: I went.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, that's how you succeed in life.
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  Speaker 3: And it, you know, whether I malapropter or that was
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  Speaker 3: the meaning I gave it, it was, it stuck with me.
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  Speaker 3: And it was, it was always been my measurement of
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  Speaker 3: what successful life would be as a man to become
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  Speaker 3: a father and to then help raise kids. So I
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  Speaker 3: knew I always wanted to be a father. Now, then
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  Speaker 3: you get to, can you, you know, meet a woman
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  Speaker 3: that you're in love with and that, you know, is
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  Speaker 3: going to be a great mother, you know, to them.
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  Speaker 2: I fortunately did.
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  Speaker 3: Met that woman in Camilla. So, but, but we didn't
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  Speaker 3: get married right off the bat. We were, and maybe
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  Speaker 3: this is because my mom and dad were married three times,
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  Speaker 3: divorced twice. And her mom and dad were married two
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  Speaker 3: times and divorced three times. So we had a track
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  Speaker 3: record for reason to go like, yeah, yeah, a whole lot.
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  Speaker 3: So we're rolling along, man. And saying, it's going great.
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  Speaker 3: And we don't want to get married. Cause that's just
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  Speaker 3: what you're supposed to do. I don't want to back
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  Speaker 3: into it because someone goes, legally, it's wrong, but no, bullshit.
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  Speaker 3: I want to want to. And I didn't really want to.
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  Speaker 3: I wasn't against it, but her and I were like,
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  Speaker 3: we're doing good. We have our first child. Or let
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  Speaker 3: me go back to nine months before we have our
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  Speaker 3: first child. I come home, and there's cheeseburgers she's cooking
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  Speaker 3: on the grill.
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  Speaker 2: I smell them.
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  Speaker 3: She pours me a double of my favorite tequila. I
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  Speaker 3: sit down, and she gives me a gift.
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  Speaker 2: I open it up.
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  Speaker 3: It's the, what do you call it, the sonogram, whatever
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  Speaker 3: gram that is where you see in the belly you
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  Speaker 3: got a baby and a fetus.
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  Speaker 2: She's pregnant.
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  Speaker 3: Oh, my gosh. Cry, tears, we hug it out. Oh,
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  Speaker 3: my God, this is so awesome, et cetera, et cetera.
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  Speaker 3: Let's call my mom. Tell her the good news. I
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  Speaker 3: get my phone out.
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  Speaker 2: Call mom. Camilla's sitting next to me. Mom, you there?
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  Speaker 3: We got some great news to tell you. Got you
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  Speaker 3: on speakerphone. Can you hear? Camilla is here.
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  Speaker 2: Hi, Camilla. Hi, Ms. McConaughey. How are you? Mom, you there?
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  Speaker 2: You got to meet? Yeah, yeah, I'm listening. I can't wait.
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  Speaker 2: Tell me, tell me, tell me. Mom, Camilla's pregnant.
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  Speaker 1: Crickets. Crickets.
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  Speaker 2: Next thing he hears, no, no, no, no, no, Matthew,
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  Speaker 2: this is out of order. I didn't raise you to
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  Speaker 2: do this.
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  Speaker 3: No, Matthew, you're supposed to be married and went on
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  Speaker 3: and on and on in a five-minute monologue and then
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  Speaker 3: hung up. And I stop, I look over at Camille
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  Speaker 3: and she looks at me and we're like, oh shit,
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  Speaker 3: that didn't go the way we hoped it would.
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  Speaker 2: And so, you know, let's top off that drink. You
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  Speaker 2: know what I mean? Woo, okay. 10 minutes later, the
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  Speaker 2: phone rings. It's my mom. Yeah, I'm mom. She goes, hi, Matthew. Mom, speakerphone.
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  Speaker 2: I go, I can put you on speakerphone.
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  Speaker 1: Okay.
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  Speaker 2: Is Camille there? Yeah, she's right. Hi, Ms. McConaughey.
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  Speaker 1: Okay.
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  Speaker 2: Can y'all both hear me? Yeah, we hear you, mom.
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  Speaker 2: We hear you, Ms.
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  Speaker 1: McConaughey. Okay.
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  Speaker 3: Um, I would like to put some white out over
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  Speaker 3: that last. I was being selfish thinking about myself. If
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  Speaker 3: you two are happy about it, I should be happy
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  Speaker 3: for you. It's not my place to be unhappy. So
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  Speaker 3: we had two children before we got married. Having kiddos
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  Speaker 3: is in some ways are how we.
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  Speaker 2: Become immortal. If we're fortunate enough for them to outlive us.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: And if we're fortunate enough for them to have kids
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  Speaker 2: and pass on a lineage.
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  Speaker 3: It's like you first have a kid, you're like, I
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  Speaker 3: have helped create a being that is outside of myself,
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  Speaker 3: but my blood is in them.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: It's a certain way to immortality. And I don't mean
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  Speaker 3: in the religious sense of, oh, if you live this way,
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  Speaker 3: you live forever because you get to the gates and
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  Speaker 3: the kingdom of heaven.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: But it is a mortal way of going, no, just
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  Speaker 3: kind of evolutionary-wise, it's a way to become immortal. And
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  Speaker 3: I find there's a great power in that and a
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  Speaker 3: great freedom and responsibility that comes with that because you're
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  Speaker 3: shepherding your future self through your child or what you're,
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  Speaker 3: you know, for 18 years, so to speak, generally in
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  Speaker 3: the household before they go off into the world.
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  Speaker 2: So you're taking care of yourself. Right, in a weird way.
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  Speaker 3: Like a chunk of yourself. By taking care of your
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  Speaker 3: It's our greatest children item. It's the greatest export. And
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  Speaker 3: it is the most closest thing, piece of art in
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  Speaker 3: the world that we'll ever put out.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah. You know?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. That's pretty fascinating. Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: Do you and your family, do you have any traditions
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  Speaker 1: that really mean a lot to you guys that you
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  Speaker 1: have felt like have helped you establish more of a sense,
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  Speaker 1: like a familiar sense, like a team sense kind of?
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  Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean, My wife's better than my family ever
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  Speaker 3: was on the actual rituals.
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  Speaker 2: I mean, my family's like, everyone come over for Thanksgiving.
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  Speaker 2: We're going.
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  Speaker 3: And it's like swing by the pit and get some
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  Speaker 3: food while you're at it. And we're going to sit down. Well,
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  Speaker 3: not unless everyone wants to sit down. My wife's like, no,
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  Speaker 3: I'm setting the table.
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  Speaker 1: Right.
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  Speaker 3: And we're sitting down and doing this. And we're going
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  Speaker 3: to say prayers before and everyone's going to go around.
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  Speaker 3: That's one of the things we like to do. Call
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  Speaker 3: it around the horn. Everybody, before we share something out loud,
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  Speaker 3: something to think for.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. Share it up. And at very least out there,
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  Speaker 2: it at least makes the food taste better. Yeah. At least.
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  Speaker 3: But it also is a great conversation starter because you'll
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  Speaker 3: say things and a lot of people don't like to
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  Speaker 3: share them out loud. And it'll start a conversation with
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  Speaker 3: somebody you didn't know. Why do you say you're thankful
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  Speaker 3: for that thing? Oh, I didn't know your grandmother just
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  Speaker 3: got out of the hospital. Oh, I didn't know that
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  Speaker 3: you did good on that test last Tuesday and you're
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  Speaker 3: thankful for that. And it's a great way to get
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  Speaker 3: a conversation started.
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  Speaker 2: We do.
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  Speaker 3: We practice that. We have dinner each night. It's a
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  Speaker 3: small ritual, but in our busy worlds of today.
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  Speaker 2: It's huge. To have that.
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  Speaker 3: Down and everyone comes in and you hear a little
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  Speaker 3: bit about the day. And it's kind of like the
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  Speaker 3: team gets together. And I was talking to my kids.
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  Speaker 3: We were talking to kids about it the other day.
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  Speaker 3: I was like, look, talk about these bonfires we have.
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  Speaker 3: Our family, we're calling it a bonfire, not a campfire. Bonfire,
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  Speaker 3: boys and girls, let's go, man. This is non-negotiable. We
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  Speaker 3: created it.
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  Speaker 2: We're on our way. We think we're doing all right.
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  Speaker 2: Let's keep putting log wood on this fire.
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  Speaker 3: But you three kiddos, you're responsible for going and chopping
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  Speaker 3: wood here too and bringing the log back to the fire.
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  Speaker 2: It's not just me and your mama.
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  Speaker 1: Right.
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  Speaker 3: That are doing that. It takes, it's talking about back
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  Speaker 3: to sports where we were in the very beginning. It's
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  Speaker 3: a team effort here.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: Y'all got to start adding that.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: And take the, and take the, have the confidence yourself
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  Speaker 3: that you.
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  Speaker 2: Do have a log to add to this fire.
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  Speaker 1: Right. I think encouraging your, like encouraging kids to think
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  Speaker 1: and feel like that, it's important, you know, because kids
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  Speaker 1: don't know how to think and feel. I think there's
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  Speaker 1: like this understanding that people just know what feelings are
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  Speaker 1: and what's happening and like what their responsibility is as
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  Speaker 1: a brother or a son. It's like, a lot of
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  Speaker 1: that stuff has to really be kind of instilled, I think.
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  Speaker 3: I think you're right because I'm guilty of giving the
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  Speaker 3: Cliff Notes version of things to my kids sometimes where
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  Speaker 3: they're like, I think it's like, well, duh, you understand that,
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  Speaker 3: you know what I mean?
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  Speaker 2: Like little things, man. I... How do you wipe your butt?
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  Speaker 2: You know what I mean? What's deodorant for? You know
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  Speaker 2: what I mean?
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  Speaker 3: Little things you're like, well, duh.
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  Speaker 1: You're wiping your butt with deodorant, it's going to burn.
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  Speaker 2: How would I know? Things you've got to let them know.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's that extra step a lot of times. And
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  Speaker 1: I think we think that kids are just adults sometimes.
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  Speaker 2: Or they saw it somewhere, they picked it up. Yes,
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  Speaker 2: that they already know. Because that's the other thing.
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  Speaker 3: You do find out a lot of things that they
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  Speaker 3: did pick up that you didn't know they knew.
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  Speaker 1: Right, and then you start to be like, oh, well,
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  Speaker 1: and you try to help them anyway, and they're like,
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  Speaker 1: I already know this.
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  Speaker 2: So it's like, probably a little catch-22. But there's a
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  Speaker 2: whole lot of things that, yeah, they don't know.
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  Speaker 3: You know, it's, in our frame, one of the things is,
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  Speaker 3: when are the kids ready for this type of movie?
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  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: Or a PG or an R or something. And I'm just,
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  Speaker 2: and what content? Is in there. I just don't want,
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  Speaker 2: there's some certain things in life.
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  Speaker 3: About love, about violence, about all the ways of the
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  Speaker 3: world that I don't necessarily, I want my kids to
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  Speaker 3: get it from an outside piece of entertainment before they
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  Speaker 3: have a context.
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  Speaker 2: Of understanding it from me and their mother. For sure. Like,
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  Speaker 2: let them understand it.
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  Speaker 3: First before seeing it for the first time and their
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  Speaker 3: emotions are going all over the place for pleasure or pain,
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  Speaker 3: but they don't know what it all means.
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  Speaker 1: Right.
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  Speaker 2: Or does that happen? Well, so I want.
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  Speaker 3: The context coming from their mom and dad first so
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  Speaker 3: they can then see it and go, I understand that
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  Speaker 3: was realistically, however realistically that was done and how that
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  Speaker 3: affected me. But I understand the context of what that
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  Speaker 3: scene I just saw. And that's why I try to
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  Speaker 3: hold back certain content, you know, Oh, I think it
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  Speaker 3: makes sense.
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  Speaker 2: From the kids to have just.
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  Speaker 3: An understanding of the reality so you can at least
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  Speaker 3: appreciate it, but know that that's fiction.
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  Speaker 1: Right. Yeah, you got to be a keeper. You got
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  Speaker 1: to be a keeper. You're running the kennel when you're
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: doing that.