Latest / The Midlife Momma Podcast - Empty nest mom, Parenting adult children, Midlife transition, Christian mom / 217. When Your Adult Child Rejects God: 6 Ways to Love Them Like the Father Does

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217. When Your Adult Child Rejects God: 6 Ways to Love Them Like the Father Does · The Midlife Momma Podcast - Empty nest mom, Parenting adult children, Midlife transition, Christian mom

• 0:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Christian parenting.
• 0:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Hey mama, I'm Pamela Henkelman, certified emptiness coach and you're listening to the Midlife Mama podcast.
• 0:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: This show is for Christian moms navigating the emptiness, learning how to let go with grace, set healthy boundaries, reconnected marriage, and step confidently into their God-given purpose.
• 0:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Each week I'll coach you through this season with faith-filled encouragement.
• 0:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: on his conversations and practical tools that you can apply right away to your relationships and your life.
• 0:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: If this episode encourages you, I'd be grateful if you leave a quick rating and review.
• 0:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: It helps other moms find the support they need.
• 0:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: You'll find the link in the show notes and make sure you're following the podcast and let's get started.
• 0:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Today we're talking about something that breaks the heart of so many Christian moms.
• 0:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: What do you do when your adult child walks away from their faith?
• 0:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: You point into your child to Jesus and now their life looks very different than what you hoped or imagined.
• 1:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you've ever wrestled with the question, how do I love them without pushing them farther away?
• 1:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're not alone.
• 1:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: In today's episodes, we're going to look at one of the most beautiful pair of bulls, Jesus ever told in Luke 15, the story of the prodigal son.
• 1:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: But instead of focusing on the wandering child, we're going to focus on the father.
• 1:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because his response gives us powerful grace-filled blueprint for how to love our wayward adult children.
• 1:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to walk you through six ways to love your child like the father does so that you can release control, guard your heart and hold on to hope even in this difficult season.
• 1:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let's dive in!
• 1:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: You and I both know that there are a few things that break some mom's heart more than watching her adult child walk away from the faith.
• 1:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: She worked to show so hard to pass on.
• 1:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: You prayed for that child before they were born.
• 1:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: You rock them to sleep, singing worship songs you drove them to church, youth group, and Bible studies.
• 2:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: You ask God to protect their heart and guide their future.
• 2:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: And now,
• 2:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: They want nothing to do with a faith that wants shape their life.
• 2:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: When this happens, heartbreak isn't the only emotion that shows up.
• 2:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Self-condemnation creeps in, what did I do wrong?
• 2:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: Fear takes hold, what will become of them, and before long, our posture toward our child begins to change.
• 2:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: We slip into fixed mode, we scrutinize their decisions, conversations,
• 2:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Bitterness can begin to replace the tenderness we once felt so naturally.
• 2:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's understandable, a wound and heart often tries to protect itself.
• 2:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: But what if this response pulls us farther away from the kind of love?
• 2:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: Our child needs most.
• 2:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: God and in his kindness has given us a picture of how to love a wayward child, in one of the most beautiful parables Jesus ever told in Luke 15.
• 3:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: You probably know it as the parable of the Lost Sun.
• 3:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: While much attention is given to the prodigal, the real model in the story is the Father.
• 3:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: His posture towards his wandering sun reveals something profound about the heart of God, and it offers a powerful blueprint for parents learning to love an adult child who is ronded from the faith.
• 3:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Here are six ways we can love our wayward adult children the way the Father did.
• 3:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Number one, the father who he leases control.
• 3:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: The son came to the father and asked for his share of the inheritance so he could leave in Luke 1512.
• 3:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: Notice what the father did not do.
• 3:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: He didn't lecture the son about how foolish the decision was.
• 3:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: He didn't argue or plead with him to stay.
• 3:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Instead, the father did something that must have broken his heart.
• 3:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: He gave his son the inheritance and let him go.
• 3:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Loving an adult child sometimes requires the same painful surrender.
• 4:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: When our grown children choose a path we would never choose for them, our instinct is to intervene and control the outcome.
• 4:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: But the father in the parable shows us a different posture.
• 4:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: He allowed his son the dignity of making his own decisions.
• 4:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Releasing control doesn't mean you stop loving your child, it means you entrust them to the care of a faithful God who loves them even more than you.
• 4:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes the most courageous act of love is letting go of the outcome while holding tightly to the God who never let's go of your child.
• 4:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: The second thing you did, refuse to disown your child.
• 4:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: Cancel culture has found its way in the families and it is heartbreaking.
• 4:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: When a grown child rejects the values, they were raised with, it can feel easier, even less painful to distance ourselves.
• 4:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: That was not the father's posture.
• 5:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Even after the sun left, and began wasting his inheritance on reckless living, according to Luke 1513, the father never stopped being his father, and his son never stopped being his son.
• 5:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: Their relationship was not erased by rebellion.
• 5:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: I imagine the father looking down the dusty road day after day, scanning the horizon with hope in his heart.
• 5:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Somewhere out there in the world was his beloved son,
• 5:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: the boy may have wandered, but the father's love had not moved in itch.
• 5:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Guys, this is this is so tender for me because I'm walking through it with you, pardon the tears, but this is the reality that we are living in.
• 5:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: The boy wandered, but the father's love never moved an inch.
• 6:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's the kind of love God extends to us.
• 6:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: In the kind of love we can extend to our children.
• 6:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Love refuses to cancel family.
• 6:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: When love guides your heart, you do not write your child out of the story.
• 6:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: You keep the door open.
• 6:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: You hold them to hope.
• 6:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you remember that no matter how far they wander, they are still your child.
• 6:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: The third lesson is that we trust God when you cannot see, when the sun left home.
• 6:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: The father had no way of knowing where he was or what he was doing.
• 6:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: He could not manage the outcome, all he could do was wait.
• 6:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: Parents of adult children often find themselves in that same place.
• 6:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: When your child walks away from faith, you may see no evidence that God is working.
• 6:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: Conversations may feel strained.
• 6:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: Their choices may trouble your heart.
• 6:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: You may wonder if anything you taught them still matters, but the absence of visible change does not mean God is absent.
• 7:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: God is still drawing.
• 7:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: God is still calling.
• 7:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: God is still wooing your child to work himself.
• 7:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: And here's the freeing truth.
• 7:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: you were never meant to be your child's savior.
• 7:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: You cannot awaken their heart or orchestrate their return.
• 7:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Only God can do that.
• 7:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that is a beautiful and freeing truth.
• 7:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Your role is different.
• 7:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Your role is to trust God.
• 7:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: In seasons like this, simple trust becomes the ground you stand on.
• 7:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: While your child is on their journey, God is quietly strengthening your
• 7:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: Are you searching for the perfect gifts to celebrate the special mom's dads and grads in your life?
• 7:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: We're thrilled to bring back the Christian parenting mom dads and grads gift guide.
• 7:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this year's edition is the best one yet, whether you're honoring a loving mom, a devoted dad, or an inspiring grad, we've got you covered with meaningful gifts they'll truly love.
• 7:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: From Bibles and Study Tools to encouraging books, you're guaranteed to find something special for everyone on your gift list this spring.
• 8:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: to explore the 26 mom, stads and grads, gift guide today.
• 8:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: The link is also in the show notes.
• 8:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now, let's get back to our conversation.
• 8:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: The fourth lesson we can learn from the story.
• 8:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: of the prodigal son and his father is to guard your heart from bitterness.
• 8:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: When life doesn't unfold the way we hoped, bitterness can quietly begin to take root.
• 8:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: And a child who walks away from faith can leave a mother carrying deep disappointment.
• 8:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: We replay all decisions, we question what went wrong.
• 8:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: The gap between the life we imagined and the reality we're living can wound the heart in ways, few people see.
• 8:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: But if we're not careful, the pain can slowly harden into bitterness.
• 8:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: And bitterness never stays contained.
• 8:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: It seeps into our thoughts, our prayers, and even the way we relate to our child.
• 9:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Instead of tenderness, we feel guarded.
• 9:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Instead of hope, we carry resentment.
• 9:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: But bitterness is not the soil where love grows.
• 9:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: So we must guard our hearts carefully.
• 9:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: The season is not only part of your child's story.
• 9:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's also part of yours.
• 9:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: God is working in your heart even as he works in theirs.
• 9:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you remain tender and teachable before him, he will soften the places the pain has hardened.
• 9:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: And when bitterness loosens its grip, forgiveness begins to flow again.
• 9:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that kind of love leaves the door open for a child to come home.
• 9:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: The Fibblesson run toward them with compassion.
• 9:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: The emotional climates of the parable comes in Luke 1520, while he was still a long way off the father saw him coming, filled with love and compassion he ran to his son embraced him and kissed him.
• 9:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Before the son even reached the house the father saw him, he had been watching, day after day he must have looked down the road hoping his son might appear on the horizon, and when he finally did the father didn't stand back waiting for an explanation he ran.
• 10:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: In that culture, dignified men did not run, but love overroadingly, and compassion overpowered restraint, the father ran toward the very son who had broken his heart.
• 10:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Before the son could even finish his apology, the father wrapped him in his arms,
• 10:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: He did not interrogate him.
• 10:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: He did not shame him.
• 10:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: He did not say I told you so.
• 10:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: He simply welcomed him home with overflowing love.
• 10:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: This posture we ask God to cultivate in our hearts.
• 10:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: When a wandering child begins to turn toward home, even in small ways, we meet them with compassion instead of criticism.
• 10:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: and the 6th lesson we can learn is that we celebrate restoration.
• 10:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: When the sun returned home, the father did not merely walking him back.
• 11:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: He celebrated, ring the fatted calf and kill it, let's have a feast and celebrate.
• 11:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: For this son of mine was dead and is alive again, he was lost and is found, Luke 15-23-24.
• 11:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is the heart of the gospel.
• 11:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: What was loss can be found?
• 11:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: What seemed dead can live again, and when a wandering child begins to return even in small ways, it is something to celebrate.
• 11:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: The father did not force his son to relive his failures.
• 11:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: He chose joy, he chose restoration, he focused on the miracle unfolding in front of him, and we can do the same.
• 11:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: If your child wants to talk about the past,
• 11:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: And if they never do, that's okay too.
• 11:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: What matters most is the restoration God is bringing.
• 11:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Though it is deeply painful and a dull child walks away from faith, the story of the last son reminds us that wandering is never the end of the story.
• 12:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: always at work, the same God who pursued you is pursuing your child and our role is not to control the outcome but to reflect the heart and the Father.
• 12:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: We listen control, refusing to give up, trusting God when we cannot see what He is doing, guarding our hearts from bitterness and remaining ready to welcome our children with compassion.
• 12:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: When we love this way, we keep the door open for restoration.
• 12:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: And restoration is what God does best.
• 12:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: So we hold on to hope, we keep praying, we keep loving, and we trust that the God who wrote redemption into the story of the last sun is still writing redemption into the stories of families today.
• 12:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'll praise to the one who we store is what we lost.
• 12:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: What was lost and welcomed his children home?
• 12:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Here's your coaching tip of the way.
• 12:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Each week I will give you one actionable step.
• 12:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: because remember, you can't change everything at once, but you can take one step to be better.
• 13:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: This week, I just want you to take a little time and do some self-examination.
• 13:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you've noticed yourself, quietly distancing yourself because of bitterness, I just want you to have a conversation with the Lord about it and be honest and let God self in that part of your heart.
• 13:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: Friend, if this is your story right now, I want you to hear this clearly.
• 13:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: God is still at work.
• 13:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: The same God who pursuing you is pursuing your son or daughter.
• 13:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Even in ways you cannot see.
• 13:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: And while he is working in their life, he's also working in yours, stretching your faith, softening your heart, and teaching you how to love more like him.
• 13:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: If this episode encouraged you, would you share it with another mom who might need this reminder today?
• 13:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: You never know who is quietly carrying the same burden.
• 13:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Grace and peace, Mama.
• 13:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: You've got this and God's got you.
• 13:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much for spending time with me on the Midlife Mama podcast.
• 14:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: My hope is that you leave each episode feeling encouraged, grounded, and clearer.
• 14:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Clearer about what you're feeling, what God may be stirring in you, and how to move forward in the season of the empty nest.
• 14:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Through these conversations, I'm not just sharing stories, I'm coaching you, helping you name what's happening beneath the service, challenging the thoughts that keep you stuck and take intentional steps toward peace and confidence as a mid-life mom.
• 14:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you're ready to go deeper in one personalized coaching support, I invite you to apply for coaching.
• 14:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Coaching is a focused one-on-one space where we work together to gain clarity,
• 14:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: Process emotions and discern what God is calling you to in this next chapter.
• 14:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: You'll find the application linked in the show notes and let's stay connected.
• 14:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can find me on Instagram at P. Hinkleman, that's P-H-E-M-K-E-L-M-A-N, or on Facebook at Pamela Hinkleman, emptiness coach.
• 15:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to figure out the season alone, mama.
• 15:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Support and direction are possible, and I'm here when you're ready.