Latest / Mic Drop Comedy / Nate Jackson_s Crowd Work Pack_ IOWA

Transcript

Nate Jackson_s Crowd Work Pack_ IOWA · Mic Drop Comedy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Sir, sit your little bitty a * * down. I
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: appreciate you plies.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: But if you could sit down, I'd appreciate that.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Thank you very much. No, it's okay. It's all good.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: Looking like the president of the Bloods. The Iowa branch
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: of the Bloods. Don't sit down, player.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: You good. Thank you, sir. I appreciate that. I would
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: like to start with this lady with these nice a
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: * * * * * es.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: That is walking to her seat, please. Please show the
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: a * * * * * e before they.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: Sit down, please. Yep, them some nice a * *
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: * * * es. How you doing, baby?
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: Hold on, stop right there and go back a little bit.
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: Go the other way, Trenton, back where she just came from.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: And stop.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: Sir, what the f * * * are you wearing?
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: It is f * * * ing Antarctica outside. And
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: your strong a * * had to bring them to
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: the gun show. I hope you get frostbite and your
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: goddamn nipples fall off. Let me see the other side
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: of your head. I think I see some artwork on there.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: What's that? A dog? That's what's on your mind all day, huh?
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Just a goddamn canine. What's your strong ass name? Jim?
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: No, that's where you work out. I'm trying to figure
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: out your name. You're so goddamn strong and stupid. That
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: creatine that took his brain over.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: What's your name?
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: Jim? Jim?
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: What do you do for a living? Cardio. And so
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: do you own the gym? Why are you this goddamn?
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: Stand up.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: Let everybody see the gun show. We'll still beat y'all
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: in here, Jimmy. About 10 women will fuck him up.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: Women like, shut your up.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: Creatine.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: And who you with? Is it just you? Or is
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: it somebody? Him too? Brothers? That's bae?
• 2:24
  Speaker 4: He said yes, you said no. He's that strong. He's like,
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: you can try to run. You're going to the gym.
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: Three sets of 12.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: If I can finish. Yeah, that's gay. All right. Let's
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: go down here, front row. Drop top, Billy Eilish. How
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: you doing, baby? You look cute, little cheese. Can you
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: see her right there in the front?
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: Oh, look at your little gums. They come out when
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: you smile. I like that.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: Gummy bears bouncing here and there and everywhere.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: Gummy bears. I don't know the words. So I just
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: do it. It's the mother. And who you with? How
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: many of these white women is? Oh, it stops that fast.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry. That's racism. I just figured the four of
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: y'all was in a little band together. We're the Weedles.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: So this is your girlfriend. Just a friend.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: Y'all not rock paper. Yeah, scissors, baby, that's how they
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: get down. Okay, and how long y'all been friends? Y'all
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: look cute.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: Oh, y'all don't even really know each other, for real.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: One year? You don't even really like her yet. You're like,
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: you'll do.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: You're not my other friends, but let's go out into
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: the snow and watch a comedy show.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: And what's your name?
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: Carissa, nice to meet you. You have beautiful little cheeks.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: You've always had big cheeks as a baby too?
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: I read an article that said people.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: With big cheeks are really good at receiving affection because
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: people always kissing their cheeks when they was babies.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: Right? So let me Which cheeks? I'm sorry. I'm sorry,
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: but that was a beautiful setup. You were like, yeah,
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: I'm giving a section. Wait a minute. Hey, stop. I
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: wasn't going to do it. God damn. Hey, friend, what's
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: your name? What? Anastasia. I told y'all it was cold outside.
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: She came here straight from Frozen. Let it go. Let
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: it go. Yeah, Anastasia, Elsa, all them is the same cast.
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: And so you don't know this lady right here?
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: What's your name, baby? Hey, Brianna. And who's this wearing
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: the interesting shoes?
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: What brand is that? Who makes that shoe? That's every color, baby.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: You colorblind? You're like, I like these black and white ones.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: That shit look.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: Like if you just threw about 15 Skittles in your
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: mouth and chewed 10 times and then pulled it out,
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: put your foot in that, threw some laces on it.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: Hell yeah.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: Them your Kool-Aid pepper step-ups. I ain't never seen nobody
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: pigeon-toed while they sit down.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: That's right. She's sitting down like, yeah, it's just a little.
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying?
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: It's just my little shoes.
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: My shoes. All right.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: Let's go down a little bit more and see the
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: most uncomfortable man in the room. This holding himself because
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: he's big. Hey, man, just relax. No, you're not. No,
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: you're not.
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: You're trying to be small. These people around you, they
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: can see that you're big. Just get comfortable. That's your
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: girl on your left. Yeah, put your arm around her, man.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: You'll feel comfortable. Oh, look at that. Stretch out one
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: of them big. There you go. And who was this
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: little guy next to you? Hey, Miguel. What's your name? Nacho? Adriel? Adrian,
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: like Rocky? Nice to meet you. What's your favorite color, baby?
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: That's ridiculous.
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: Everybody thought that, but you're the only one that yelled it.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: That baby's special right there. Glad you're here, Adrian. This
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: is your wife next to you, your girl.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: What's going on? That's your sister. You guys need to
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: make a different face. Both of y'all look.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: Don't act like that's on me. This ain't the first
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: time somebody thought that. You are too close together to
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: be siblings. You look like you've twice before at some
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: point in your lifetime. And that's not on me. That's
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: on you. This is Iowa. I don't know what y'all
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: be doing out here. No, we out here. This is
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: one of them areas where they be like.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: A chicken, a chicken, a guinea, a guinea. A cousin's
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: as good as any. Just don't get her pregnant. That's
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: your dad. Just don't get her pregnant. You hear me?
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: You can practice.
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: But don't get old Anastasia pregnant. That'll be a situation.
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: Are there any other Latinos in here? Yeah, nine.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: A white lady just yelled. She tried to get in
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: with y'all. Woo! Yeah, tacos.
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: I like that you actually just relaxed a little bit.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: You want to pull your pants down or something, though?
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: You should probably just stand up and give them a
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: little tug like that. You can't feel that? No, no, no, no.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: Not the bottom. The balls, sir. You don't feel that?
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: You ain't got no fabric around your nuts. It is
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: straight tight. You got big balls? Okay. We fly high,
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: you know it. I like y'all. Let's come over here
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: and listen to people too.
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah, why not?
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of people looking away at the same time.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: I ain't gonna hold you.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: A lot of people was like, hell no, fuck that.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: That bald head brother look down quick.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: Nope.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: Thank you, brother.
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: I'm going to grab my chair. I'm enjoying myself just
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: walking around talking. Grab my chair and sit down over
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: here in front of y'all for a second. I'll be
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: over there in a minute. Shut your crackhead up. Let's
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: see where we're going to go. Is that a look away?
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: Damn. Ain't pretty, too.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: We were going to be a family, but you f
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: * * * ed it up. No, don't show her.
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: She don't want to be on the screen. No, don't
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: show her. I want to talk to some other people.
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: What if I did it my way? Y'all just shut
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: the up.
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: Damn, there's a white lady with beautiful hair, triple barrels.
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: Show me this white lady with this beautiful hair.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: Did you put it in rollers? Ma'am, do you roll
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: your hair?
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: You, ma'am, with the beautiful curls.
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: Bountiful, flowing, commercial hair.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: Can you see it?
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: She's like, I don't know what he's talking to me.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: I have a split end. Is it all couples in here?
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: They're like, couple, couple, couple. Couple, couple, couple, couple, couple, couple.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: This whole row is couples? Except, oh, the two girls
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: right there like, uh, no, mother, we just friends. We
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: not rock or paper, we just scissor. Okay, there's a
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: lot of diversity on that row. We got, what are
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: y'all right there?
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: Right there. Are you related to her? No, y'all got
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: the same nose. Okay. Ma'am, what are you right there
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: picking your booger? What are you? You're beautiful, but you
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: look a little.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: Ethnically ambiguous from here, the way the lights are hitting
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: my eyes and it comes off. My retinas can't focus
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: in on a particular background. Trinidad and Tobago.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: Okay. I see you. And so you met him. He
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: came off a cruise ship. He was like, Yeah, Jimmy Buffett.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: It's awesome. I'm going to get a woman here. Okay,
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: and what about next to you? What are you? You're
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: something else, too. Outstanding.
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: Hola.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: This is your man next to you? Okay. Yeah, you're
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: literally just paired off. And then, ma'am, this is your man. Ma'am,
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: that's your man. Right there.
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: The swirl.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: The swirl. Hey, right there. Cookies and cream. You good?
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: They don't be stirring tea at your house? Get out.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: You good? You in love? Could love come in all
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: different ways and shit. Y'all look good together. She happy like,
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: it's my mother, man. I stick beside him. It's a
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: dumb a * * y mind now.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: 13 or 31?
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: 13 children?
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: Years.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: Married?
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: It's you?
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: I saw you go, it's me, it's me. You better
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: say something, because I was about to do a cannonball
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: on this man. I don't like that. I don't know
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: what it is, but I do not like when men
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: just be with a woman forever and won't get married.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: Like, man, either get off the park. Quit being a.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: But she said it's hers.
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: So what you waiting on, sis? You want to spend
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: your money on other things other than a wedding?
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: Listen, listen. Just have a reception. Go get married.
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: You can be in your backyard doing the electric slide.
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: Okay? And what's crazy is his shirt says, I love details.
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: Get a ring. Oh, wait a minute. Both the men
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: got on the same clothes? Oh, I see why y'all
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: not married.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: You're a beard. Did you know that? Could you guys
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: stand up in your little gay outfits, please?
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: Please?
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, get on up. Come on.
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: Love.
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: Love. So many things I gotta tell you.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: Jack them off! No, she's like, I got it!
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: So, you guys own a detail company? Detail's Barbara Louse,
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: and you look like that, sir. You need to go
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: in there and let somebody do your hair. You look
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: like a.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: Hip hop Abraham Lincoln. Sit your ass down. Four score.
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: And seven years ago, I was a president and respect
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: my flow. I appreciate you too, baby boy. And then
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: we're going to keep going.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: Triple Barrels. Outstanding. What's your name? What? Lynette. Why you
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: say it like that? Like you don't like your name. Lynette. Whatever. Lynette.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: You like to enantiate? Okay. And who is this man
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: that wishes he had hair? Huh? What? Adel? Adam and Eve.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: Thank you very much, ma'am. I appreciate that. I couldn't
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: understand him. He was like, Adel. Ha ha ha. She's like, Adam!
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: Adam and Eve.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: Nice to meet you. So how long y'all been together?
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: Year and a half. Married. Okay. You got time.
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: Oh, she said, we'll see. We will see if he
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: has time.
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: Damn.
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: We're going to pray for you, sir. It sound like
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: you at home getting a beat out of you. I said,
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: give me the remote. I'm watching the game here.
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: Jesus Christ.
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we're going to be watching Flippin' Sunset around this.
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: All right, there's another couple next to you. You guys
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: look like maybe cousins or how you used to look
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: when you had hair, Adam.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: How long have you been with her? Five years.
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: Married?
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: Married two?
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: Three years is kind of long, sir, especially for white love.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: You took her all the way to Montana and proposed
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: to her? Going to Montana was expensive? Isn't that just
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: a ride and a car? You're like, two tanks of gas, that.
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: We could have did this shit at her dad's house
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: right here in Ohio.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: What'd you say, drunk lady?
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: This lady is a hammer guy. She's living in her
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: own goddamn world right now. We're clear on that. Could
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: you show the little, yeah, show a little Miss Obnoxious.
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: Hell no, I know it was just now. She popped
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: that ass, it smelled like corn nuts and.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: It smelled like pig's feet and goddamn orca skin. Don't
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: waft that big no more.
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: The brother next to you was like, what the fuck?
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: We all having a good time, bitch. You didn't have
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: to do all that.
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: Oh, that goddamn pussy ass there. Nice to meet you, brother.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: Show the brother right there.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: Oh, there he is. Yes, sir. Little Kendrick Lamar.
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: Uh-uh-uh.
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: Okay, and then this your girl right here? Y'all look
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: good together. What are y'all? How long? Married, I see
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: a ring.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: How long?
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: They know you. That's whose cousin? No, no.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: You telling me that drunk white lady is your cousin, sir?
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: You might need to do a 23andMe. I don't know
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: how she found a reason to stand up again.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. These people's money.
• 18:14
  Speaker 4: I'm here.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: All right. Drink some of that alcohol and be quiet.
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: Now, I'd like to talk to this beautiful lady next
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: to you, man, in the lambskin.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: Throw vest jacket. Thank you. Do you mind standing up?
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: I think you might be best dressed. Let me see it.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: Let me see what's shiny. No, take the jacket. Let
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: me see it. Yeah. Go ahead, baby girl. Get your
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: shine on. I like that you chose that shirt for me.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: You were like, I don't know what I should wear.
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: I'm putting on my sparkles. You know, I like to
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: shine on them. You know what I'm saying? Let them
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: know there's a star in the building. You know what
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: I'm saying? I like you. What's your name? Shaney? Yeah,
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: you rock.
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: And who's that next to you right there with the
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: suntan in the middle of winter? Right there, the guy
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: that takes bong rips between Call of Duty matches.
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: I know who you are, brother. That's him. Where are
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: we dropping, boys? You're like, man, this is my highest.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: Come revive me. You're not down. Revive me. Guys, I'm
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: on all fours in my house. I'm in the gulag
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: I made in my bathroom. Nice to meet you, boss.
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: What's your name? He doesn't have a name? Is that
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: your lady? Carrie? Nice to meet you, Carrie. And ma'am,
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: what are you worried about happening?
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: She tried to cut him off like it was verse 48. Ah,
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: he has no confession. On behalf of my family, he
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: will not be speaking. I like him.
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: He got his vest pulled forward, his arms pulled back.
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: He got his hair slicked back, suggesting, I really don't
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: give a bro.
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: It is what it is. I'm just here, just trying
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: to live. And then here comes a wife. Shut the up.
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: You're not saying anything out loud about us. What's your name, ma'am, Ms. Uptight?
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: What's your name? How long you been an accountant? What's
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: your name? Nice to meet you, Lisa. And what do
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: you do? Was I right? You do something with numbers,
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: something by the book?
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: What do you do?
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: You evade taxes?
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: Well, white people crazy, man. They just, they tell you
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: the whole plot right there. I evade taxes. What are
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: you going to do? You don't know how much I'm evading.
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: Call my address and say Hawaii.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: You do hair? Outstanding. That's a good job. You own
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: the shop or you just got you a little boyfriend?
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: You're an owner. Where's your place at? Let's tell people
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: need haircuts in here. Okay. Ma'am, is your business local?
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: Kind of?
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: Okay, well, if it's from here in Montana, they're willing
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: to drive. What's the name of your shop? I champion
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: small business or big business. I don't know how it's going.
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: Celery Salon? Delray Salon. Delray Salon. Yeah? You guys don't
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: give a fuck? That's crazy. Next haircut you get, you
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: go to Delray Salon. If you don't know how to
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: cheat on your barber. Yeah, if you need to get, no,
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: don't go to details. They got, they down there.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: In the back. She said, you dirty dog. You guys
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: know how I fuck with y'all. You good with me.
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, go to details for your haircut and then go
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: to her for your styling.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: And now everybody's happy.
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: You live in Minnesota. Oh, is anybody in here from Minnesota?
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: Not enough to change the flow of business. So we
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: might as well all go to her shop since she's here.
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: If you're ever in Minnesota, go get your hair cut
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: down there. We got to support small business. And then
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: next to them is somebody who owns a helicopter and
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: a boat and a tropical island and has offshore money
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: and literally has Epstein's number in his phone.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: How you doing?
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: Ain't going so hot, is it? You never let me
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: come to the island, you ugly. What you get is
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: what you get. So what's your name, old Ted, Tom, Tim?
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: You look like it's a three letter T name. He said,
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: it is, John. I guess I got the three letters right,
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: just to tee up. Hey John, how are you? Outstanding,
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: I'm chilling baby, literally. They didn't hear what I said
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: about the 76 degrees. Uh, that confused me. John, who
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: is your woman? The one on your left or the
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: one on your right?
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: Both of them. Interesting.
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: The guy with the hair is like, I knew this.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: Everybody. So ma'am, is he yours or this is just
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: a little, little ruse you having fun?
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: You go way back. How far back? Like doggy style back?
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: He said they're pioneers. Okay, so you guys are friends
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: and this is your wife with the on her head.
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: And who's this lady with the, are you mad? God damn. Jesus,
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: what in the vice principal face? Did you see her face?
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: She's like, ah, ah. I'm having fun.
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: Lady, you got to loosen the up. Jesus Christ. Your
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: face was way too tight for this moment. There's nothing
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: wrong right now.
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: It's all good.
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: We're having fun. You got a beverage. You're next to
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: a retired football player or whatever the he does. Yeah,
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: Detroit Lions.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: Congratulations. But ma'am, you got to relax. You look like
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: you only butt. Like I have a too. I have
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: a too. You always me in my. That is right there.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: Jesus Christ, John Jr. What's your name, little tight face?
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: Come on now, TF, don't be like that. What's your name? Tony,
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: nice to meet you Tony. Okay, relax Tony, it's all
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: good baby. Hit the blunt baby, just calm your down.
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: And so where are you a disciplinarian at? You do
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: something where people's fates rest on your desk. I guarantee it,
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: she's firing the out of people somewhere.
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but we're gonna have to let you go.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: Tight-Faced Tony, get a job. Figure it out. They're hiring
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: in New Orleans. So what do you do, Tight-Faced Tony? TFT.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: You're in real estate? Why do they all start laughing like,
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: this made that up. Detroit, what's your name, boss? You
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: going to tell me the truth, Kurt?
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: He's like, I got to sleep next to this tight-faced bitch.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to bed and waking up to a hammer.
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: You're down there sharing too much. You're fired. Okay, well,
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: let's come back down this way. What does tight-faced Tony do?
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: Is she the police? What does she do?
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: Tony, tell us.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: Tony, tell us. Everybody on three say, Tony Tellers. One, two, three.
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: Tony Tellers. She's a politician? Wow. That's why your face tight.
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: You're like, I just don't believe any of these policies,
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: but I got to go to work anyway.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: I told these all conditioners are supposed to be on
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: 76 degrees. Blatant disrespect. I'm shivering inside. It's nice to
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: meet you type Tony. Go ahead and relax.
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: Matter of fact, you should relax right now because these
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: are the and if they see you happy, they vote
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: for you. All right, let's go down here and talk
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: to Drake.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: French Montana's brother. That jacket is too small for you.
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: That is, this motherfucker wearing a tattoo.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: Stand up, let me see that little jacket. That used
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: to be a diaper. Stand up.
• 28:11
  Speaker 5: Stand up. You don't want me to see it? You
• 28:13
  Speaker 5: should have looked away. Let me see that little jacket, man.
• 28:16
  Speaker 5: I got to see this little baby jacket. It look
• 28:21
  Speaker 5: better when you stand up. But sitting down, that was constraining.
• 28:25
  Speaker 5: This woman, y'all look good together.
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: Hello. That's not your woman?
• 28:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: Why you didn't say that with pride and confidence? How
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: long you been with her? Six months, that's why. Y'all
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: just getting to know each other. She's still trying to
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: figure out lock code to your phone and pin code
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: to your bank account.
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: Six months. She's going to be robbing and blinding too.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: How'd you meet her? Why is that funny? How'd you
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: meet her? Instagram. He slid in your DM? He was like,
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: what's up, Red? You're like, that's what's up, little.
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: Big guy in a little coat. Shout out Chris Marley, man.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: So what's your name?
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: Is it how it looks?
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: Got a little rolling R in the middle of it somewhere?
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: Huh?
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: Thank you, ma'am. I appreciate that. Tyler. Outstanding. He created
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: that jacket. And what about you? Little red. What's your name, baby? Gabby.
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: Nice to meet you. Gabby and Tyler. Sitting in a tree.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: You love him? She crazy. Run. You only been with
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: her six months. Out of her mind.
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: Ain't nobody in love. Six months is ridiculous. She on
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: the same box of tampons. Get the out of there.