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Rabbi Moshe Haber Orchot Saddiqim: Inherent Traits: Channeling Your Natural Character From Birth 7.16.26 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

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Only last points on page 20 so he says like this he says Presuk
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and you'll find that it describes so many people that
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you know God Malala. He did not care not even in his
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doings may the youth be recognized or made in English of
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here, but his acts are pure and upright.
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What that literally mean, it means that children carries
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certain character traits when they're very young and as they
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grow up to the same character that exists and exists with them
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throughout their entire life. In fact, everything that you see
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in adults was there embedded inside of them as children.
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Now, the big thing is how they channel it, but the actual
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overall makeup of a person is there from when he's born as a
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baby. I told you the other day, I say
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I noticed in my kids that you look back at their baby
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pictures. How's it going?
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Right? Look, I got to pay your
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pictures. You can see and you can tell
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have a certain intuition, a certain like maybe the way they
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crawl, the way they smile or the way they cry or whatever it is.
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You can see they have a certain makeup that fits to what they
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are now 4567 years later. I forget about as an adult.
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They're more so as people who grow up, but they are a
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redefinition of the same exact traits.
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That doesn't mean you're doomed. It means you're on a certain
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path and your job is a channel. Let's see, Zerah pasuk NI Amara
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have kanata naari and this pasuka is talking about the they
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use the word discrimination really means the identification
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of a child. Kimi Nuram is giving me the time
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from when they're very young. They're noticeable, they're
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caricature. It's commercial today as you'll
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see Miksata nadim and they eat bahamidata busha.
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Some children are shy Miksatam are azut.
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Some children are brazen muqsatam notino atava.
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Some children are very inclined for desires.
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Some children have nice character trees.
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At a young age, every child's got his inclination and it's
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there from it is a baby. I mean they have a baby.
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Let's just play it out. You have a baby that when he
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looks at it, she's a a scary person.
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He cries just by seeing them. That baby has a shyness to him.
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I'm not sure the exact mental makeup shy element to him and
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that'll exist at 40 years old when he's scared about going
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into a meeting and seeing himself.
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I'm shy. That's from that childhood, same
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thing. I mean, me personally, I was
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very shy as as a little kid. I'm a baby, I was very shy as a
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kid. I wanted to avoid everything.
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Until today. I have myself a certain makeup
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that if you have a situation that I have to face something,
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I'd rather avoid it because I am shy.
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I am I'm I rather avoid walking into a crowd at all, of course,
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because of the fact that I want to face the people and have to
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actually be social with the people.
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I have certain shyness to me positive negative.
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You decide that's how it's it's concept of I'm I'm so in general
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by shanim. But the idea is that whatever a
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person has in their adults, it was there inside of them as
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children and it showed itself clear as an adult.
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And because that's the case, every person needs to know a
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couple of things, as we'll see. The other Da you should know,
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keep calling me to me, daughter Adama said today, Bobby Mia
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Bakruta signal. Whatever you see in people,
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you're noticing them when they're older.
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And they were there when he was a baby or a child.
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Now bazma nahu. But as he was a child, he didn't
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have the ability to actually show that character trait.
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La ayubo. He might have been at that
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point. Let's say, for example, an adult
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gets, let's take a -1 adult gets angry, right?
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As a child, he had that anger deep inside.
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Now, that anger might have been a certain level of frustration,
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a certain degree of unsettled, a certain nature to maybe be a
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little bit arrogant and therefore angry.
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We don't know how it showed itself as a child, but it was
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there. Whatever he's showing as an
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adult was there as a baby, right?
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He just didn't know how to bring it out.
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And when you find children, young guys who become corrupt,
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if you should know that you can guide them in right way.
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So he's going to get to the second point.
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Now, the first point is this. When you see things in adults
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that was there from when they were baby, when you're looking
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at a baby, you should notice. Or whatever he has right now,
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we'll carry with him for the rest of his life.
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Everything that he shows as an adult is there as a child.
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Everything, all those characters are embedded inside of him now
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if that's the case. The selfishness I didn't have to
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buy yesterday. Selfish is there.
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Right when babies are born, kids are little till they vomit with
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they're. On babies right, 'cause you
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going babies are born. Right.
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They're they're selfish, right? They have to train themselves to
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share and do as they mature. Right, so now exactly so I told
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you a very. Kids go to nurse and all that
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and evaluating them and all that.
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You're for that. No, absolutely not Absolutely
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not. That doesn't mean anything.
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No, I have this conversation all the time.
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My wife is a however as a therapist and a thing 10s.
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Of thousands. No, it's the biggest sketch out
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there. I was a therapist in the in the
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in the classroom and she tells me about how they talk about
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discrimination and they define children and they put them in
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different classes and label them talking about four or five year
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old children and you're thinking about their future, the rest of
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their life. Absolutely not.
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No, that's not what it means. It means that there's certain
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signs that exist in a child. Now here's the point.
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The point is all of that can be child channelled to greatness
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and all of that can be channeled to disaster.
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The the nature itself before you work on yourself, that nature
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itself as a little child that's there doesn't really mean
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anything That is there because the way in the form that it can
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develop itself can be in a very great form or in a terrible
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form. We have no idea.
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It's just there. It's there in a very light
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version, but it's there. And what does that tell you?
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What it tells you is, is that from birth you are working on
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yourself. It tells you from birth, being
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that you know, there's a model Jew, there's a model person and
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you want to check every box and that amount of person and you
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know that you have a certain makeup and your goal now is to
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fit that mold. There's a degree of there's a
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degree of fight and your very existence from a young age.
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You have to control yourself, develop yourself, working
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yourself. And it still will not be that
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you become a different person. It still won't be that you're
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going to take a guy who's shy and making the most outward guy
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out there. That's a whole makeover.
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That's something else. You'll take a person who's shy
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and his shyness as a child was going to not allow him to ever
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face a new moment. He shyness as a child would
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never allow him to take on a new job because he was scared he
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shy. His job would never let him sit
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and learn with somebody else because it's embarrassed and his
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inability to read right. You know, take him when you work
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on him and he'll shyness will still exist and still have to
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add that meanness of a shy person and still have the
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ability to the fact that he can take the 2 steps before he, you
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know, makes the decision. He'll have certain positives of
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shyness, but the negatives of holding him back, those will go
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away because he channeled and he worked on and he molded that
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giants. What it tells you is, is it
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every child is born with character traits and they're
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different and they will develop and grow and grow and show as an
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adult that child needs to mold because that child is a model he
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wants to become. That model he wants to become.
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It's not a changed person. It's not a makeover.
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It's not from shy to loud, it's not from serious to funny.
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It's not from calm to angry, and it's not even from angry to all
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sweet and peaceful. What it is, is to a mold with
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your makeup that fits a good Jew.
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That's the goal. So the goal is all you fighting
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yourself or you're not fighting yourself in between.
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You're fighting yourself to fit a certain mold, but you're not
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fighting yourself to undo who you are.
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And that's based on an understanding of these two
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points. The main point being, when
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you're born with something, you will live with that something
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for the rest of your life. That is the way, same way a
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person is born with a certain body and they will never shed
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that body. There are growing certain mental
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characteristics, emotional characteristics, and they'll
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never get rid of them. They'll always be the type
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that's out there. They'll always be the type
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that's loud, always dead loud, Always be the type that's quiet,
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always be the type that's angry and a degree.
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We'll see how you deal with that.
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Always be the type who's super calm.
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It's just who you are and it's your mental makeup, your
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emotional makeup, your soul makeup.
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You know, it's an interesting thing.
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These things really come from your soul.
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They don't only come from your, you know, your blood type and
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your body. They come from your DNA.
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There's a concept of a Jewish DNA, our DNA, which is actually
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a combination of my body and soul.
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And those things will never, ever change completely.
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You could, you could try, but that's not the goal.
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The goal is develop yourself and to channel yourself.
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I always say this all my time. I'm never going to become that
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guy who's out there funny, just not my thing.
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I never going to become that guy who's just plain loud, no, who's
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extremely expressive. It's just not my makeup.
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It's not going to happen. It's OK.
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Excuse me, I'm fine with that. Who's not going to become that
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guy? And some people are born
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naturally with the quick wit from when they were four or five
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years old. You can see that they had a
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certain way of talking. I can tell my children right
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now, some of them have the lines and some of them don't.
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I'm talking about a five year old.
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She has the lines and other ones that are older don't, right?
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Just in the kids. And that means that when they
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grow up and they're 20, 2531 will be able to do certain
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things and one other one won't be able to be that exact person
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to have their form. So what's our goal?
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Our goal is going in to recognize.
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I have a makeup to recognize. I am, I'm not handicapped, not
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limited, but I am, I'm somewhat guided, I'm somewhat certain
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makeup. And because of that, everything
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that I'm doing is not to fight myself, find my existence and
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channel myself. And when I realized that, I
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recognized at a young age that I have to realize there's going to
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be work here. It's not going to be that I'm
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creating myself from scratch and I can do whatever I want and I
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can expect myself to be a perfect person, not a canvas.
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No, it's not like that. It's not like a person says I
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want to become X and become the X.
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Some people are very good copycats.
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Some people have the nature of being a solid copycat.
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They still cannot undo their personal makeup.
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They can't. What they can do is again,
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channel it and when you realize this, you realize that at a
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younger age that I have time and I have work to do.
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And I can't just expect myself to say that's the goal.
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I'm going to become that person. I can extend, expect myself to
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say that is the type of goal I want to become and I'm work
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myself to fit the overall good person.
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Like that person. I'm not going to have the exact
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same image with the same exact movement, with the same exact
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lifestyle as X person. I'm going to have the same
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understanding of doing right from wrong and good from bad and
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living life and all the positives like that person.
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And since this point, have you seen this with your children or
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with kids that they are a certain way and they grow up
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into that way? It's pretty much a clear point.
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Now it's like this, so it's. Not so.
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Sometimes people tell you, you know, they act to what they're
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like, what they see at home. Yeah, that's true.
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So. But it's more than that.
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It's true. It is true because a lot, a big
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percentage of who we are is based on what we copied.
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A big percentage is that what was based on what we saw and we
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applied to our lives. Copy and paste.
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So we don't. Like what we see in them, we
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might not like what we see in ourselves.
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And we don't like, we see in certain people the guy who
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starts off his business work with a certain boss, boss who's
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a tough guy and he hates it, drives him crazy.
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And he says himself, I'm never going to be that guy.
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Yeah, he's going to adopt A different way, but if he's, you
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know, if he himself has a certain you, you can either
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learn from people or learn what not to be from people.
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Both of them are equally as important.
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Life is a Moussa to say if it both on what to be and what not
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to be, for sure. But that still will not mold
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fully who you are. That'll be an application of
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taking those concepts and putting them on yourself and
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then yourself with your own physical, mental, emotional
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makeup will apply that same goal.
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But you will not be a perfect copycat.
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It's not going to happen. Now, a lot of times people can
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copy their parents more than they can copy other people.
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A because they witness a lot of their parents, but more
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importantly because they probably have the same DNA as
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their parents. Someone says you like your, you
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like your parents. You know, you remind me exactly
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of your father. People say all the time to
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people, right? You remind me exactly of your
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parents. What is that?
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That is a combination of having a makeup that fits their parents
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DNA, literally the parents soul, the parents body, the parents
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emotional makeup, and having a long time of training of
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copycatting to combine. We become like our parents the
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most. That's the idea.
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Once a person knows his overall concept, they know at a young
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age that they have what they fight, they have what they mold.
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These are the words Van Nareem young children asheka valem
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nevlut who who seemed to be guarded the wrong way.
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If Charles Shakola, it's very possible you can bring him to
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the right path. Gam nahim like Kabel moussar.
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It's easier to to change his makeup when it comes to a young
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child than is with a full adult. Children do not have the wisdom
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or do not have the independence. Let's say it to, you know, break
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away from the education that we're trying to give them, which
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means, you know, I'll tell you today, take the world of college
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today, right? So college very impressionable,
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we know. And it's creating chaos in the
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world, right? And everyone always says
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universities, university, universities, right?
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No one ever thinks about the fact or says no.
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Maybe it could happen to people who are 4050 years old.
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Why not? Because college is the perfect
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storm. You're dealing with young people
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who are impressionable and they're in a learning state.
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So because of that, it's a perfect storm of creating chaos.
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It's the hop it. They always talk about the
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education system. Any level of education system,
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positive or negative. Yeah, I'm still keeping it on
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the positive side. Any level of education, right,
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Whatever it is education is, is considered the makeup of what
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makes a community great or makes it terrible, what makes the
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world great or makes it awful. Why?
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Because education system finds people who are impressionable
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and hits them at that time. So that same concept means that
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even if a person has their makeup, they will guide their
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makeup, they will mold themselves along with that
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overall makeup to be a certain way because their impression
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about a young age. So once you realize that you
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have a certain makeup and you realize and there are years that
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it's easier to change that than it is at an older age to change
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it. You work on yourself at a
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younger age. You say to myself, I am still
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impressionable. I can still mold this thing.
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I can still continue to develop and I continue to change.
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Am I going to undo myself? No, but I'm going to take myself
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and guide it a certain way. The colleges said we are taking
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people are impressionable who are ready to learn and they
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guide them a certain way. And what are they doing?
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They're taking young people who have an inclination to learn,
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who are dedicated for good. And what they're doing is
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they're redefining the definition of good right as
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they're doing and they're making them be pro terrorists and anti
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Jew. And it's in the highest levels
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of our colleges because that is taking a person who's
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impressionable, taking a makeup, which is kind and, and, and, and
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hungry for education. I'm creating chaos.
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That's how it works. And you can do the same thing in
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the positive light. That's how it works.
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Every person has to realize this.
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The older person gets and now I'm netakim Bikao.
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It's hard for them to switch from what they had when they
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were younger. It's similar to a piece of metal
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Sheta moon that was buried bikaka in the land and ground
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and it got tarnished and it got, I got a major tarnish.
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Over time, you need a lot of work to Polish it, to undo it,
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to bring it back to a traditional silver, right.
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So a person who starts off life at a young age being a certain
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way and then continues being that way and they continues
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being that way. If they never get stopped and
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bucked in their trend, they are facing a much harder fight when
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they get older because they had their makeup and they were
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living life down that road of that makeup and they continued
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and they compiled and they compiled because that's what
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they were. That's who you are.
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You are your makeup and you live life according to that.
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And when you allow that to be, that ends up becoming who you
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are. And it's very hard to fight.
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I mean, you take it psychologically.
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They have a constant Psychology Today called exposure therapy.
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What is that concept? Right?
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Exposure therapy means if you know what they say, if sadly, if
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someone was in a car accident, what's the biggest movement to
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do? Immediately put them back in a
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car right, Right away. Why?
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Because they say if you let the person, let the person sit at
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home and say I can't go in the car for a little while because I
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have trauma, what's going to happen?
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It's going to build. It's going to build.
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You're unable to go into a car. So there's a constant exposure.
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In general, exposure therapy means if let's say you have a
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child who has tantrums, all right, child has tantrums.
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People have these children and they say the child gets crazy
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for certain things. It's crazy when his food is not
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ready for him. It's crazy when his clothing is
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decreased. All right, it's crazy.
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If his bed isn't made or if the air is not right in his room, he
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gets crazy. And there are such children out
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there and they have literally crazy tantrums.
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I would have said to do if I was not a psychologist, I would have
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said, do you know what? Make his bed perfect, Give him
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perfect air. Make sure food is ready for that
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cake. You don't want to ruin your
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house. So make it make the situation
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comfortable for him, right? What did the psychologist today
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say to do the opposite? Thank God, I say the opposite.
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Exposure therapy means give him go, go to his bed and mess it
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up. So to mess up his bed, imagine
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go over to his hair. He needs his hair perfect.
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Go over to his hair and go like this, right?
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One of my children, they have the hair that they're good
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daughters. They have to have the hair in a
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certain part perfectly and wife like on purpose will go like
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this just to gazet up and it makes them crazy.
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Exposure therapy says do that. Why do that?
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Cause a person has to realize that they have a certain makeup
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and they are going down the road of that makeup and they will do
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it the whole life. And at 203040506070 years old,
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you'll find that person doing things and being busy with
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things as they were busy with as a child.
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I can tell you from from the years in the dorm there were
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certain guys that were knee freaks.
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These guys today, if they live that same way, I don't know for
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now. As time got on they got more and
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more and more crazy. As time got on they got more in
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the cleanly road. And by now I'm assuming they'd
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probably get crazy. If there was someone touched
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their Fort, I'm sure they'd throw out the whole plate.
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Why? Because they went down the road
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up E at East and it compiled and compiled and compiled.
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Whereas if someone in high school played a prank on them a
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couple of times and gave them a dirty fork or whatever it is,
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and then it's mean. It's rough, but it's exposed to
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therapy and it makes you able to change your makeup your whole
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life. And the main thing is that's
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fine. It's an issue, but it's fine
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when it comes to life. What about if I come see and me
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do it? And who you are if you're a guy
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who gets crazy from certain people.
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And you never figure out a way how to work on that your whole
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life. You just going to cut people out
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and cut people out and cut them out and you'll be able to face
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it. Whereas if you're a person that
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says, listen, I have a family. My family's got all cars and all
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stripes. I got some that are black, some
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that are white, some that are loud, some that are quiet, some
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that are annoying, some that are awesome, right.
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I said to myself, I have two choices.
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I can either peel this on you my whole life and end up with a
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family that I love but a tiny family or I can handle and I can
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deal with these. I can go against my grain and I
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can develop. And I could say it's annoying,
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but I'm good. I'm not going to avoid turn
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Shabbat mules. I'm not going to avoid turning
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to Hanukkah parties. I'm not going to avoid deal.
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I'm not going to avoid these things I'm going to deal with.
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I'm going to jump into it. Yeah, I have to have a mechanism
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how to handle it. Sure.
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You have to have a way for you have to embrace with the concept
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of how you're going to deal with it.
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Recognize the fact that you have a certain makeup that you're
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never going to get rid of. And if you're the kind of guy
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that gets nervous and certain things, it'll be there your
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whole life to a degree. But at the same time, you can
21:31
handle it, you can fight it. You can then enjoy and embrace
21:34
it. It's awesome.
21:35
That is the makeup of every single human being.
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You were born with certain traits.
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You will live with those traits your whole life, but you'll be
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able to channel them, develop them, and work with them to make
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yourself great. The guy who's the boring stiff
21:50
guy will never become the comedian unless he's trying to,
21:53
you know, sketch himself. He'll never become the comedian
21:55
and the naturally gifted guy, He'll always be funny,
21:59
hopefully, but they still will be able to.
22:02
The funny guy who probably wasn't serious will be able to
22:05
adopt some level of maturity along with his funniness and the
22:08
serious guy who is a stiff, you know, person, he'll be able to
22:13
be around other people comfortably.
22:15
It works in himself. He won't become Mr. Comedian.
22:18
I always listen to comedians and I always tell myself always same
22:21
thing. How do they get those lines so
22:23
fast? Like how do they?
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I'll give you an example. I just heard someone say the
22:27
other day, one of these guys can't tell how it is because I
22:30
enjoy him, but he's not so you know, the best, but he said a
22:33
line. He's you know, Ben and Jerry's
22:35
is anti everything, right? The anti white supremacy, all
22:41
his nonsense. They talk all day long, right?
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He said he used to be that my white parents rebuked me about
22:48
eating too much ice cream. Now my ice cream rebukes me
22:52
about my white parents, right? I heard a lot like that's such
22:55
an awesome line. Who wrote that up as such a good
22:58
line? Right?
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But that requires maybe as a screenwriter.
23:01
But that's a gifted line and there are people out there who
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can do that. You give me 4 years, I can't go
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with that line. Four years, right?
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Because it's just not my makeup. I can do certain things that he
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can't do, but that is who we are.
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We have a makeup and then we have a life's job to channel it
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and they make it great. And it does not mean you can get
23:19
rid of it. It just means you can handle it.
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That's the idea. What's up with this?