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How Do You Trust God When Nothing Makes Sense? · Everything In Between: a Trinity UMC Podcast

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  Life isn't black and white. It's not just mountaintop
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  moments or rock bottom seasons. It's lived in the middle, in the
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  doubts and the prayers that feel unanswered, in the joy you
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  didn't see coming. Welcome to Everything in
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  Between, a podcast from Trinity UMC.
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  Should I welcome? Do we need to do a clap or
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  anything like that? Have you already done that?
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  You mean the slate? They were slated?
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  They've already. Slated.
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  OK, that was a lot of clapping. You called for it.
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  The people love you. I did my job and I'm unashamed.
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  Hi, my name is Christina Shaver. Welcome to the second episode of
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  our podcast, Everything in between.
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  Please go listen to the first one.
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  It dropped on May 21st woohoo. And it was delightful if.
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  You like it, like it. If you don't like it, like it.
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  Yes, subscribe. Yes, subscribe do all hearted
• 1:02
  comment on it do. All share it.
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  Shout out, shout out to Reverend Matt Langford and Dothan UMC.
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  He texted me this morning and says 15 minutes into the podcast
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  team, you're doing great things. Aw, thank you, Matt.
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  Thanks, Matt, that. Is so nice of him it.
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  Really shed light into how how we function as a staff.
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  Yes, unorganized. Function dysfunction.
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  Or I would say just have fun together.
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  Fun fun Shin. Our fun Shin as a staff.
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  Yes, so please. OK, so please go watch it.
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  We are wrapping up our Easter season and we had a celebration
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  sermon series and we just celebrated a lot.
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  We celebrated what God's doing in our lives individually and at
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  Trinity. We've had over.
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  I think I counted it out like 46 people have either joined or
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  been baptized since the beginning of the year, which is
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  so exciting. So I just need to get to 50 and
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  I'll hit my goal. So if you haven't joined and
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  you've thought about it, hit a girl up.
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  If you want to be help of her or be part of her reaching her
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  goals. And also, just if you are ready
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  to make a home here at Trinity, we are happy to be a home for
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  you. And we had confirmation, we had
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  baptisms, we celebrated the contemporary choir starting, we
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  had a cantata for the regular choir, traditional choir.
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  We have just had a lot of fun. And we're also celebrating our
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  seniors who are graduating. And then now we are moving into
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  a new sermon series called Ordinary Lives Extraordinary
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  God. And it is about Ruth and S.
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  Is that not right? That's wrong.
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  I've been saying it wrong for three weeks now.
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  It aren't. Aren't you the didn't you?
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  Who's running the sermons? I didn't know, so I wasn't there
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  to correct her, which is part of my job to help her.
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  When God shows up, OK, hold rollback.
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  We are starting a new sermon series on Ruth and Esther called
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  When God Shows Up. And in both of those books, you
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  see God moving in their actions. You see where God comes through
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  when they think all hope is lost.
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  You see characters who have really just faced like, really
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  sad losses and how God rebuilds their lives.
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  And they just have such bravery and courage.
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  And I'm looking forward to that. And also you also see how God
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  changes our labels, how we identify ourselves.
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  Like Ruth was a Moabite. She was a foreigner.
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  And then at the end of the book, she is now in the genealogy for
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  King David and then Jesus. And so that's just so exciting.
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  And then Esther was this just a a Jewish girl who got selected
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  to be queen and essentially a beauty pageant.
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  And then she saves her people. And so God is moving in our
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  lives all the time. And so I'm really looking
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  forward to Ruth and Esther and seeing how we can just always be
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  looking for where God is showing up in our lives.
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  So that is our next sermon series focus that'll take us
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  through July 5th. Oh, everyone's look at me.
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  OK. Yeah, 100%.
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  I felt that way about ministry. There are days and weeks that I
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  still feel that way about ministry.
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  For a long time, I ran from a calling into church ministry.
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  I started out college with my college professor saying, hey,
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  we're going to do a presentation about what you want to be when
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  you grow up. And I picked youth ministry and
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  I interviewed youth directors and I did research.
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  And in my presentation I said, they don't make enough money.
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  And I said, and I don't want to do this.
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  It's a lot. And so I decided I would start.
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  All the women in my family are in medical fields, and so I
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  thought I'd do that. I wanted to deliver babies,
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  which still fascinates me. And I went through half a
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  semester of anatomy as a 19 year old and I said I don't have the
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  discipline for this. So I dropped that and I went
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  into teaching and finished that degree at Northwest, or at least
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  the associates prereqs, and went on and transferred to UWF and I
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  got a degree in Children in Society, which is a degree that
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  I now use in youth ministry every day.
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  And so the calling came like the final one of me where I stopped
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  running was at Oakwood in 2014. Jeremy Thies was speaking and I
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  decided as he was speaking and God was talking to me, that I
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  was kind of done running from it.
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  Like this is what I wanted to do if I was going to spend my time
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  interning all the time. Obviously this is where God
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  wanted me, but yeah, I don't. I wouldn't say I'd suffer from
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  imposter syndrome, although it feels like that sometimes, but I
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  definitely live with it when it comes to things like ministry or
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  feeling like an adult or Christina asking me to preach in
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  big church. Big church.
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  Big church. I think I know very few youth
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  pastors that didn't run from it. I don't think there's many that
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  were running headstrong, and if they were, this probably a red
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  flag. What about you, Josiah?
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  Is there a thing that I feel God has called me towards that I ran
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  away from? Is that the question?
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  Or you feel like you weren't qualified.
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  Oh, that I was being called to something I wasn't qualified
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  for. And we're talking like
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  spiritually, or else like, is living on your own an answer?
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  It can be whatever you want. You have to look at him,
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  Christina. That's why he's he's tripped up.
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  There it is. Now he's good.
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  Thank God the words will just fall out now.
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  The words are going to come now. So, yeah, I mean, So what when I
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  think about this kind of question, just where I've come
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  to in my life, like one thing like with leading, with leading
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  worship. And just I've always been very
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  fond of music and always been musically inclined when it comes
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  to like the piano, but not when it comes to, I guess I should
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  say, like singing or using or leading people in worship or
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  leading a team in worship and things like that.
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  And then just the opportunity came here where, you know, there
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  wasn't a worship leader. And so I was like, well, I don't
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  want to, I'm not equipped enough to do that.
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  And then I saw the other potential and I was like, well,
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  I can, I can do it better than that.
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  And you? Let it Oakland that summer.
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  I did lead over that summer and then, but just through those
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  that growth of like knowing like I'm not anywhere where I think I
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  should be at to to lead God, just a God being there like the
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  whole way in raising up and then fighting opportunities where I
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  can be raised up and then not being vocally strong at all.
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  And then coming to just recently where people are coming to me
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  saying that they cry during one my songs because they're your.
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  Voice has gotten so much stronger.
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  Like really? I can tell you've been working
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  hard on it. And, and that brings you to my,
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  my, my, I don't want to say second point, but like the big
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  point when it comes to when people feel like, oh, they're
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  called to something that they're not qualified for.
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  I would say what to me, what I've seen and just not even just
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  in ministry, but also jobs, life, being a, being a parent or
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  anything that, like any struggle or anything that mountain that
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  you're about to cross that you don't know you're ready for.
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  The biggest qualification for that isn't your skills, but it's
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  your your heart to do so or your care about it.
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  And like I tell people all the time, I was like, I wasn't born
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  great at the piano, but I was lucky enough to born to have
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  loved the piano. So it still took a lot of work.
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  But me sitting at the piano working for three hours on it
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  non-stop, it's just easier than somebody who hates the piano.
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  They can only work at it for 15 minutes.
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  It doesn't mean I was just naturally better at them than
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  the piano. I was just naturally more inept
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  to love it. And yeah, so I'll bring all that
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  around just to say like, really when when it comes to like
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  callings and stuff to where it's like, oh man, I don't know if
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  I'm qualified for that. This like man, if you, if you
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  have the heart to do so, you'll figure it out and the
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  qualifications will come. Very good, very good.
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  Ben, what about you? Oh no, I'm good.
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  I'm just playing. Must be nice.
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  I know, right? I got it all.
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  I got it all together. No, my whole journey in this
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  about being a pastor is has been there from one things they they
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  make you do when you go through a the certified candidate stuff
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  is you write out your testimony and back all the way back to
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  2001 with the chrysalis. You know, God called me to be a
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  worship leader. But even in that moment, I
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  realized that that calling was to actually be a pastor and that
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  the last 25 years has been me trying to figure out that that
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  role and what that means in my life.
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  And so Melissa talked about Imposter Center.
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  I'm like, I, I lived it. Like I thought that there was no
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  way that I would ever be able to preach or do the things of the
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  church in that aspect. And like music ministry was, was
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  it like, you know, And so like that was my comfortable zone.
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  I play guitar and I sing and that's what everyone has me do.
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  And so, but it literally took 25 years and multiple callings,
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  multiple voices from God and different avenues that that led
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  me to him going like, no, seriously, you, you know, it's
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  kind of, I think about Jonah, just like walk in the opposite
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  direction. And that's kind of what I did in
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  my life is that God said, Hey, I need you to go to the city.
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  And that city was this path of understanding what being a
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  worship leader was what, which is it's not just music, it's
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  it's ordering worship. And and so it took 25 years
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  during that journey and, and God called me back and a couple
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  whales and getting spit back out.
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  And took more than one whale, a large fish.
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  It took more than more than one large fish to to get me back on
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  on on the the beaten path so. But I do think for both of our
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  journeys and, and how we've ended up where we are, like your
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  years in worship, ministry and technology has like equipped you
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  to be able to know the all of that behind the scenes and how
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  to handle those things. And like, I was the receptionist
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  and the intern here for years. And I feel like that was God
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  being patient with us and equipping us in those moments,
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  knowing that eventually we would say yes.
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  Yeah, and, and it's, and, and even to, to spring on that a
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  little bit like if God makes everything turn out for the good
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  for those who follow him and honor him, if it's this, this,
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  this, this paradox of like, OK, if I hadn't have gone down the
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  path and said no to God or, or went my own way, could he have
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  not restored it to be this place and then tied all the pieces
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  together? So there's a beauty in that
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  painting of, of understanding that, yes, everything that I've
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  done was not for waste. It actually is to, to benefit.
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  And, and that's something that keeps me up at night is like,
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  was that part of God's plan or was that God fixing my anyways.
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  So it's like, you know, so it's like it's, it's a beautiful
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  thing to, to look back on it and go like, oh, well, God had had
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  his hand in every single point of that and everything he's
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  using everything that maybe, maybe it was a negative that
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  I've said that I at that point my life that I didn't do what I
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  was going to do. But maybe God is using that now
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  for the good and bring glory to his name.
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  And it's awesome to see him paint that picture of my life in
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  that way. Yeah.
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  I mean, yes, I had some imposter syndrome moments with ministry,
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  but I always feel very called into it.
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  So I just assumed that God would make a way.
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  Like I've always had that. Like I've always knew that if I
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  was supposed to do it, God would make a way.
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  I think with me it was more like becoming a mom.
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  I felt like major imposter syndrome with that because I had
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  never really been around babies. Like, I don't think I had
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  changed a diaper since I don't think I changed a diaper before
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  I had James. Like I just don't think I hadn't
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  had that type of experience. But my dad said, listen, once
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  you change like 2, like it's like you've been changing them
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  your whole life. Like it'll be fine.
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  I still feel broken when I am holding someone else's.
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  Baby yes like when I baptized that baby on Sunday and I was
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  like the next I was like this baby is like 6 months old the
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  neck is fine I'm. Like what am?
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  How am I? Supposed to, Yeah.
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  But, you know, it's just, that was something I was really
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  worried about because I thought it's all going to be on me.
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  I'm going to do everything. And I realized the reason I felt
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  like, really worried about it is because I was dating the wrong
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  men. I was dating children.
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  I wasn't, you know, they came. I was not dating like a grown
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  man. I was dating someone who was not
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  capable of being like, a mature partner.
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  And once I started dating Jonathan and I married Jonathan,
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  like a lot of that went away because I thought, well, I'm not
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  going to be alone in this. I have Jonathan who I knew would
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  be an amazing dad and he's naturally such a better parent
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  than me. Like it's seriously, is he the
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  default? Parent.
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  No, not he used to be. When they were little kids, he
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  really was the default parent. Now I think it's much more
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  equal. And then like George is so like
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  my kid, so my kid. I'm such the default parent for
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  that one. And then I'm going to need
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  somebody to explain what default parent.
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  Means the parent they immediately call for.
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  And with James, it's, it is more Jonathan, it's more equal now
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  that James is 10, you know, But when we when James was like 2
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  years old, he wanted nothing to do with me.
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  Like he really just wanted Jonathan.
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  And I was like, I'm your mother too.
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  I birthed. You I birthed you, you were in
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  my womb for so long, but that just kind of I, you know, once
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  you feel that like for me, such a deep love and connection and
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  just realizing that it's it is only me and Jonathan who will
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  like be their parents and do everything that we need to do it
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  just it really helped me overcome it.
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  And then, you know, when George was sick and we went through all
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  that, like, I was like, I have no, like, no qualms.
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  I know I'm a great mom, you know, like, I know I'm a good
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  mom and I try really hard for my kids.
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  And so it just kind of, I think it just goes away the more you
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  do things. Well, and I think if you're,
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  they always say like if you're not or if you're worried about
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  being a good parent, you probably are a good parent.
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  Yeah, yeah. One thing I hate that I'm about
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  to make a sports reference, but. You are a man I'm not going to
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  understand. Because Christina had mentioned
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  no surprise she deals with imposter system when it imposter
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  syndrome when it comes to being a pastor.
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  But she just kind of she's like, well, I feel called to this.
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  So I know I'm taken care of. I'm just and he's going to
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  figure it out as we go there is it remind me just one time in in
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  baseball of the very few years that I played because I was
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  terrible that I was on. I was on first base and my coach
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  was like, hey, the moment he pitched pitches, no matter what
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  happens, still the second and the swinger swung.
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  He missed the the catch anyway. The I didn't run and I was
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  supposed to have run. I didn't run.
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  And my coach was standing there for a second and then he looks
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  at the bass. He knows I'm still there.
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  And he goes, why are you still here?
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  And I was like, I didn't think I was going to make it.
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  And he goes, no, that's not up to you that you're, I told you
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  to go. It's just, it's your job to run,
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  whether you make it or not. It's your job to run because.
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  And then so it's just it, it brings you back to where like if
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  we're looking at Scott as our coach or he's like, Hey, I, I
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  call you to go this way, It's not really.
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  And then we're always like, well, what if it doesn't pan
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  out? And it's like, well, sometimes
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  he just wants us to go a certain direction and it really doesn't
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  matter if it pans out, 'cause we always see success in our own
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  eyes. So I got to say, if he wants to
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  go this one, I got to succeed at that.
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  And it could be like, there could just be a lesson to learn
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  over there or you might succeed at it either.
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  No matter what happens, if you're feel like you're called
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  to go somewhere, it doesn't mean you're, you're always called to
• 18:45
  succeed in that area. But it's sometimes, but all the
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  time he's going to be there to make sure the plan is going to
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  pan out. He has a plan, and that's going
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  to. Pan out.
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  And that goes back to what Ben was saying where like, he's
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  going to take that thing and make it good for you.
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  And we always think good is success and happiness and peace.
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  But if you go further in the Scripture, like I'm holding on
• 19:05
  to Romans 828 through 29 over the last couple years, is
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  whatever that thing is, is supposed to make you more like
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  Jesus supposed to bring you closer?
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  And I think that sometimes that takes failure on our part to be
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  humbled. Yeah.
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  So the question is, why do you think?
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  Why do you think that's written? So why?
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  Why do you think your struggles leave you feeling not worthy
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  enough for God to use you? So I would say my answer to that
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  question is like coming into youth ministry.
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  Why did you all struggle with that so hardcore?
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  It was. It was.
• 19:50
  Weird. It was weird, McKenzie held up a
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  sign for us to say. Why do you think you and
• 19:57
  everyone? Everyone OK 'cause maybe there
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  should be a. Comma.
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  Anyway, why do you think you and everyone else struggle so much
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  or feel what is it unworthy? Oh you change it again, Why do
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  you? Why do you think you so much
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  with? Do you?
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  Do you want me to? I'll read it.
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  I'll read it. Do you want me to read it?
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  OK, Why do you think you and everyone struggle so much with
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  feeling worthy enough for God to use them?
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  OK. I think it's because we only see
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  the like, big picture. We think of like Kingdom
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  building and it's huge and it's like we're building skyscrapers.
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  But I think Kingdom building is really about connection, and
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  that makes sense. Foundational.
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  And foundational. And I think when we stop looking
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  at like this big, huge thing and like someone's salvation's on
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  the line, well, their salvation is not up to us.
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  That's not our responsibility. I think our responsibility is
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  just to say yes, and we're all worthy of saying that.
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  And so I just think we struggle because we just, we don't think
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  we're Jesus. Well, none of us are Jesus.
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  But if you have you read, I mean, if you've read the rest of
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  this, some of these people were messed up.
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  And yet, God, everyone's just. Hopping on and off the struggle
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  bus. Everyone was just hopping on and
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  off the struggle bus. Exactly right.
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  I mean, let's look. I mean, we can look at, I mean,
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  how they would have viewed Ruth. Ruth was a foreigner.
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  She was a widow. She and Naomi were widows
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  together. Like Naomi was an Israelite and
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  she came home. But Ruth had no ties.
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  So they didn't know why she was there.
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  And and so there would have been none of this.
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  Like we should take care of her, but yet she still showed such
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  bravery. And I would feel like resilience
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  by going. And she knew that they were
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  supposed to when they had fields, that they were gathering
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  crops, she knew that they were supposed to leave some of the
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  crops for immigrants and like widows to glean from.
• 22:09
  And so she went and asked to do that and they said yes.
• 22:12
  And and she just kept showing up each and every day.
• 22:16
  And God provided for her. And it said that Boaz was just
• 22:20
  like amazed at her bravery. Like he really was struck by her
• 22:24
  loyalty to her mother-in-law. And it's from that that he
• 22:30
  wanted to redeem her, which basically means like take
• 22:34
  responsibility for her and redeem her like bloodline.
• 22:40
  So like, if someone and I can, I might be getting too much in the
• 22:43
  weeds here, but like I want you to think about what the choice
• 22:47
  Boaz made for Ruth, who he didn't know but was so taken by
• 22:52
  her. When you redeem someone after
• 22:54
  their husband had has passed away.
• 22:57
  And like there's no children. Like if you have a child with
• 23:01
  her, it's not your bloodline. It's the the the her first
• 23:06
  husband, the person who's died bloodline that that child would
• 23:09
  like honor and be a part of to carry on that generation.
• 23:14
  And so I thought that was just like, I know, right?
• 23:16
  I did not know that, yeah. See y'all, I did a little
• 23:19
  research before we came here do. You.
• 23:26
  Want to read that Josiah? What does loyalty look like in a
• 23:29
  culture that often encourages convenience?
• 23:36
  I think it looks kind of like what like Ruth and Esther were
• 23:39
  doing in their stories. Like standing up for what they
• 23:43
  believe, although it goes against like it's
• 23:46
  countercultural, which a lot of our students struggle with.
• 23:49
  A lot of our students when they got baptized, like Aiden, for
• 23:54
  example. He shared this past week that
• 23:56
  when he decided to leave his old life behind and follow Jesus,
• 24:02
  his loyalty to his faith and God, a lot of friends walked
• 24:06
  away from him. Like, his whole life completely
• 24:09
  changed in the last year and a half.
• 24:11
  And I think loyalty can also look inconvenient because you're
• 24:17
  losing everything. And we live in like a air fryer
• 24:22
  microwave culture. Why are you hating on the air?
• 24:25
  Fryer. I love it, but I'm saying like.
• 24:27
  If we cooked it if. We made if we made.
• 24:31
  Time to cook it in the oven. Although it says it's an hour
• 24:34
  and a half or so for Mac and cheese.
• 24:36
  You know, the air fryer would be like 30 minutes, but it's just
• 24:41
  like how they want things done quickly rather than done well.
• 24:46
  And I think like often when it comes to loyalty, it means
• 24:53
  showing you care and like showing up for people and for
• 24:57
  God is more important than even what you may say as a top
• 25:03
  priority in your life. Like for Boaz it was he probably
• 25:07
  wanted to have his own like bloodline, but yet it went to
• 25:12
  Naomi's husband's bloodline their their children.
• 25:16
  Now of course that worked out 'cause it was like King David
• 25:19
  and then Jesus's genealogy. Wait, so does it go to Ruth's?
• 25:23
  Ruth. So she, Ruth became a part of
• 25:26
  Naomi's household like and solely like that family.
• 25:30
  That makes sense. Yes.
• 25:32
  OK. And then like for Esther, so she
• 25:36
  and are we do we want to talk about this and then in another
• 25:38
  episode or can I talk about it? OK, so for Esther, she had to go
• 25:44
  to the king to talk to him about the decree that he made, but she
• 25:48
  hadn't been invited to speak to him.
• 25:51
  And if you go to the king without being invited to speak
• 25:54
  to him, all he would have to do is basically like, like point
• 25:58
  his scepter away or do something.
• 26:01
  And he would he could have her put to death.
• 26:06
  And so she was literally putting her life at risk.
• 26:10
  And but her cousin Mordecai said, you know, you were created
• 26:15
  for such a time as this. Like, we are created to worship
• 26:20
  God and to share God's story. And if we're not doing that, we
• 26:25
  are not doing the purpose for which we are created.
• 26:32
  And I think it that's why it's so important to share our faith
• 26:37
  and we're all worthy of sharing our own story.
• 26:42
  And I think that's just really important for us to remember.
• 26:45
  I had one of my I don't know if she wants to be sharing this,
• 26:48
  but one of my sisters, I can say this because I have seven of
• 26:52
  them, so you'll never guess which one one of my sisters she
• 26:55
  was having like a sort of like an existential.
• 26:58
  I don't know how to say that word like a little bit of like a
• 27:00
  mental crisis, a little bit about like, because she was
• 27:03
  coming to, she was on this mindset that why does God need
• 27:12
  me? If he is all powerful, he could
• 27:14
  do all things. He's like somebody else is like
• 27:17
  if like he's like I matter so little.
• 27:19
  Like if I don't like, if, even if I feel like I'm called to
• 27:22
  something, if I choose that to not do that, God will like he's
• 27:26
  powerful enough. His you guys play the other
• 27:27
  people that he's going to, he's going to get it done.
• 27:31
  And so that was like sort of her mindset.
• 27:34
  And I was like, it's kind of hard to answer answer to that.
• 27:36
  But I, I think Christina touched on it in a big way to where I
• 27:41
  don't, and I can't remember if we answered that correctly or
• 27:44
  well in the moment, but but to like to respond like when
• 27:48
  someone has that kind of a mindset, that's the way that's.
• 27:51
  So one of the biggest ways that we can respond is that that's
• 27:55
  where the beauty of it all sits, is that even in his all
• 28:00
  powerfulness, he uses us to be his hands and his feet here on
• 28:07
  earth to move and act. And that's just the beauty of it
• 28:11
  all. No matter how small and and
• 28:13
  significant we seem, He's just gracious and holy enough to that
• 28:20
  he uses us for his for. His, he's been chosen, yeah.
• 28:22
  He's yeah. And how nice is it to be chosen
• 28:25
  sometimes? You know, and actually.
• 28:26
  Like Christian says like that's this is what we were made for.
• 28:28
  He didn't have to make us at all.
• 28:30
  That's were were made for this, you know.
• 28:33
  Yeah, I mean, like, and that's actually something that Mordecai
• 28:37
  said to Esther. I want to make sure I got it
• 28:39
  right. It's he says this in chapter 4
• 28:44
  of Esther, verses 14. For if you remain silent at this
• 28:52
  time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another
• 28:55
  place, but you and your father's family will perish.
• 28:58
  And who knows but that have you've come to your role
• 29:01
  position for such a time as this?
• 29:03
  Like he was like Esther, if you don't speak up like it's going
• 29:07
  to happen, like God's going to deliver God's people.
• 29:12
  But if you could have done something and you chose not to,
• 29:15
  like that is also mean going to come into play.
• 29:19
  And that sounds really like, but I think it's really important.
• 29:25
  Don't let nobody take your calories.
• 29:27
  Don't let your blessings. Don't let anyone steal.
• 29:30
  Your blessings Don't let anyone steal your calling, and don't
• 29:33
  let anyone steal your calories. When you when you say Malachi,
• 29:38
  all I can. Mordecai.
• 29:39
  Sorry Mordecai, all you can picture is Veggie Tales.
• 29:42
  That that wasn't just me, I was trying to hold it in.
• 29:46
  I mean, I'm there with you. I mean, I saw the little
• 29:48
  mustache and and and yeah, yeah, it's a, it's a whole thing.
• 29:51
  Does that, does that, does that mean we're broken or ruined?
• 29:54
  That we can't take a a serious Bible story without thinking of
• 29:56
  silly veggie Tales. I'm just upset that Esther has
• 29:59
  never been turned into a musical.
• 30:01
  It has all the elements of a great musical.
• 30:03
  Like should I? Talk to Ellie Boykin.
• 30:04
  I mean, have you we? Have all the elements here to
• 30:07
  make that happen. Have you watched Veggie Tales?
• 30:10
  I mean, I've watched the Esther Veggie Tales so many times,
• 30:13
  'cause my kids was in love, that one.
• 30:19
  Well, I mean, we have Joseph in the Amazing Technicolor
• 30:22
  Dreamcoat. I can't believe Andrew Lloyd
• 30:24
  Webber never turned to Esther. Andrew, if you're listening,
• 30:27
  Esther, it's your next big one. Just make sure you give her
• 30:31
  credit. Is this time to mention the Book
• 30:33
  of Mormon or no? I have never seen the Book of
• 30:36
  Mormon. It's worthy.
• 30:38
  It's coming to New Orleans. It's worthy.
• 30:39
  I think so. So we have two questions from
• 30:44
  our Not Just Sundays. Are Christians against Humanity
• 30:47
  cards? They're they're not sponsoring
• 30:50
  us, but we are open to not just Sunday sponsoring to reach out
• 30:56
  to McKenzie at communications at trinityfwb.org if you would like
• 31:02
  to partner with us. Regardless of what Ben said, we
• 31:06
  are not Christians against humanity.
• 31:10
  All right, y'all are talking to her Melissa too much.
• 31:12
  Let her, let her do her thing. Do you want to go with like the?
• 31:17
  I guess they're both deep, but you want.
• 31:18
  To go the light 1. 1st the lighter one first.
• 31:20
  Really you want to close out on the heavy one.
• 31:23
  You've got to warm up too, right?
• 31:24
  Oh, I mean, I guess. Just read a question.
• 31:26
  OK, how? No.
• 31:30
  What song title best describes your testimony?
• 31:33
  I feel like I need a week to figure this out, but what song
• 31:36
  title best describes your testimony?
• 31:40
  Yes, I will. Stop.
• 31:42
  That's on the that's on No, you got to pick another song.
• 31:45
  That's. The tune on the nose.
• 31:46
  That's yeah. Well, it's two Sunday.
• 31:48
  It's not your testimony, I. Mean it.
• 31:51
  I mean, we are singing it this Sunday, but I mean, you can't
• 31:54
  tell him. He's wrong when he answered the
• 31:57
  question, I mean. I just wanted to dig a little
• 31:59
  deeper, that's all. It's just iron sharpens iron.
• 32:02
  I think that is dig a dude, because we're I mean, we're
• 32:03
  talking about callings and you know, yes, I will.
• 32:07
  You know, that's the, that's the heart posture.
• 32:09
  Yes, I will, rather than I don't think I'm ready.
• 32:13
  There you go, I'll. Make it deep now.
• 32:20
  I I mean, I will always go back to you and we don't sing this
• 32:22
  song ever and I'm not sure why Waymaker, waymaker.
• 32:27
  I don't know why we I love it so much and yet we never sing it.
• 32:30
  I think we did that first Sunday she.
• 32:32
  Was she was here like first two Sundays just to get her hooked
• 32:34
  in and then we're like, all right, she's bought us.
• 32:37
  She's bought in. I was bought.
• 32:39
  In before even got here, she was.
• 32:41
  And what was it? Not ten years ago.
• 32:44
  When it was, it was. 16 years ago I arrived in June, July
• 32:49
  2010. That was 16 years ago.
• 32:54
  It was 84. Years.
• 32:58
  The way waymaker. God always makes a way, finds a
• 33:02
  way, and we are blessed enough to be a part of it.
• 33:06
  It's the most simpler. Time finds a way.
• 33:09
  All right. I I love Lauren.
• 33:13
  Daigle so I would say either her song Look Up Child or Love like
• 33:20
  this. Fun fact, I had a birth playlist
• 33:24
  and that's the song Jane was born to.
• 33:26
  You had a birth. Playlist I did.
• 33:28
  I have a playlist. For every occasion we got,
• 33:30
  that's a. Whole another podcast we got to
• 33:31
  put a pin in that. Alright, Ben, go ahead.
• 33:34
  For the listeners, all you. All you Christians in your K
• 33:36
  Love Listening radio. Give me a win.
• 33:39
  Give me a sign. Show me where to look.
• 33:42
  Tell me what I thought we could have seen on the podcast.
• 33:45
  I thought we weren't. Allowed to sing, we're like
• 33:46
  Collective Soul. Shine.
• 33:47
  That is my life verse. So shine.
• 33:50
  No collective. Soul.
• 33:52
  Oh, the song is called Shine. Oh yeah.
• 33:53
  Doom Digga. Digga.
• 33:55
  Digga. Yeah.
• 33:57
  Doom Digga, Digga. I do know this song.
• 34:00
  It even let your lights shine down.
• 34:02
  That's our main. Singer, everyone, in case you're
• 34:05
  wondering, all right. We want to hear from you guys.
• 34:08
  We want to know what song best describes your testimony.
• 34:12
  So let us know in the comments. Share with us.
• 34:15
  All right? Are you ready for the next one?
• 34:17
  Yeah. The fuck I know.
• 34:19
  You want someone else to read it, Do.
• 34:20
  You want to guess? No, No.
• 34:21
  No, no, just read. Just read it.
• 34:23
  Let's do this. How has failure or?
• 34:25
  Disappointment shaped your relationship with God.
• 34:33
  I don't. Like this Air I?
• 34:35
  Told you. I told you it's.
• 34:37
  Not dead air, it's deep thought. For that one has.
• 34:41
  Failure. Shaped my relationship with God.
• 34:49
  I think it is important to know, and this is, it's so hard
• 34:53
  because I feel like that's so tied up with work for me that
• 34:56
  it's important to know that any like failure, any feeling, those
• 35:00
  are ultimately like temporary things that you can move on
• 35:04
  from. I will say I was not my best
• 35:07
  self in seminary. Like I felt like I was like
• 35:11
  early, like I was like Parks and Rec season 1.
• 35:14
  Like not the best season right of my life.
• 35:16
  That is so true. That is so.
• 35:18
  Spot on. I understand completely what
• 35:21
  you're talking about and. Sometimes I just get mad and
• 35:25
  then I go. But God was able to use all of
• 35:28
  that and use how things that I just didn't do right.
• 35:31
  I learned. I learned so much from that and
• 35:37
  also I need to give myself a break.
• 35:39
  I was 222324 who cares? I didn't have my life all
• 35:45
  together, no one does and so and I don't have my life all
• 35:49
  together now and I'm not 22/23/24.
• 35:54
  So I just think it's important to.
• 35:57
  It's helped me give up, give my younger self a lot of grace, and
• 36:01
  also know that all of those things are so temporary.
• 36:05
  All of them. Every single one of them.
• 36:08
  Oh, I don't. Know if there's a?
• 36:09
  An easy way or I said it ain't easy.
• 36:11
  I don't know if there's a right way to say this.
• 36:12
  I'm just going to. I'm a hard learner and I just
• 36:15
  know me as a person. I don't really learn from books.
• 36:18
  I learned from failing. So I learned the hard way and a
• 36:22
  lot of things. So I just know if, if everything
• 36:24
  was just going well in my life, I'd be a whole problem and
• 36:28
  probably not look towards any anything else for help and and
• 36:33
  essentially become my own God. I guess I just I can say that,
• 36:38
  but failure has been just a great humbler.
• 36:40
  And I think God uses not he makes us fail, but he uses our
• 36:45
  failure. So like in our failure, we hey,
• 36:48
  I can't do this. All my owns have to look towards
• 36:50
  something else. Like when I talk to the kid and
• 36:52
  I see them fail, it's like I didn't want you to fail, but I
• 36:54
  knew you had to to learn this lesson.
• 36:56
  Now you'll listen to me. But.
• 37:01
  Well, OK, yeah. And I, and honestly, I feel like
• 37:04
  God has just used every failed relationship attempt.
• 37:08
  He knows my motivations and he's just used every failed
• 37:11
  relationship attempt to just to refocus me and make me a little
• 37:14
  bit better. I honestly view.
• 37:16
  Failed relationship attempts as like a hedge of protection
• 37:20
  around you, so when that person comes like you're completely
• 37:24
  ready for them. I also feel like I I become a A.
• 37:28
  Little bit of a better person every time.
• 37:30
  Is this the right time to plug? That we are still on the search
• 37:33
  for Josiah's wife. Yes, I did.
• 37:34
  No, we had plugged that in the. First, did we not cut that, cut
• 37:36
  that? No, it's in there.
• 37:38
  No, it's. In.
• 37:38
  There, it's in there we. Are.
• 37:41
  We're setting up what's it's not Tinder anymore.
• 37:44
  What is the new thing? Hinge, Hinge so we're.
• 37:46
  Setting up a. New Hinge profile for you like
• 37:48
  Hinge is like the. Mature like looking for if you
• 37:51
  want to send. In in the comments different
• 37:52
  things we need to put on his descriptions and profile.
• 37:54
  That would be great, but this one's.
• 37:56
  Showing that like she can't just tell you what to do, she has to
• 37:59
  let you fail for you to learn the lesson, for you to listen.
• 38:02
  I'll go with the disappointment because it said how has failure
• 38:05
  or disappointment shape your relationship with God?
• 38:07
  I think the times that I've been disappointed and probably like
• 38:12
  the last 10 years of my life have all resulted in me having
• 38:17
  to slow life down, which I, according to my therapist, run a
• 38:22
  very fast life, a very fast-paced life.
• 38:26
  And so those disappointments caused me to slow down.
• 38:28
  And not only that, they caused me to evaluate things happening
• 38:32
  in my life. And also it allows me to really
• 38:35
  see where God's working in my life because sometimes I like to
• 38:38
  rely on myself, but it helps me really rely on God and see where
• 38:43
  God has worked and move people in or out of my life for that
• 38:48
  time that I'm in. That'll preach.
• 38:50
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 38:52
  All right. Well, thank you.
• 38:52
  So much for joining. Oh, Ben, have you said your
• 38:54
  thing? Looks like we're out of time.
• 38:56
  Let's see. All right.
• 38:57
  Well, you don't. You don't want to share your.
• 38:58
  Failure. Disappointment.
• 39:01
  We have plenty. Of podcasts to go.
• 39:02
  All right. Well, thank you.
• 39:03
  So much for being here for episode 2.
• 39:07
  We will be back for episode 3 and we just appreciate all of
• 39:11
  you and everything you do in your lives once again.
• 39:15
  If you do not have a church home, we hope to see you at
• 39:18
  Trinity at 9:45 or 11 Four O 3 Racetrack Rd.
• 39:22
  Northwest. We will see you Sunday and then
• 39:25
  in everything in between. Bye, smell you later.