Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Does Sex Get Better With Age? Brian Austin Green Answers This and MORE!

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Does Sex Get Better With Age? Brian Austin Green Answers This and MORE! · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Hey, what's going on everybody? This is Brian Austin Green
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: and this is part two of my I do Part
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: two Q and A session and I'm answering all sorts
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: of emails and voicemails and things that have come in
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: from you guys. And this is the second part of it.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: And we're going to start it off right now with
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: a voicemail.
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: Hi, calling in to get some advice on the first date.
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: I feel like it's so easy to just.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: Get in your head, and not that you want to
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: be too overly prepared, but I feel like I need
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: to go in with some better questions. And I'm just wondering, like,
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: what are the type of questions that are good for
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: filtering men out and the type of questions that they
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: want to be asked too.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: It's a good question. First dates are tricky. I tend
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: to feel like the trap and the mistake that a
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: lot of people make is going into a first date
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: with a sort of preconceived plan of what you're going
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: to ask, how you're going to be, how you're going
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: to present yourself. Yeah, you know, I think I think
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: if you are looking for a genuine relationship, you have
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: to be ready to be real from moment one. It's
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: the first impression of you. There's the visual one seeing
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: you walk up, Oh my god, she looks beautiful today
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: or tonight, and then there's that thing of like, Okay,
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: now we sit down, how do we actually connect? Like answering.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: You have all the time in the world to sort
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: of answer questions and get into that, and you can.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: You can ask some questions just sort of in conversation
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: because you genuinely want to know the answers, not because
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: you think it's a question that you should be asking.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: Like you sort of have a checklist of things. Okay,
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: I'm going to go through, go through. Here's my checklist. Okay,
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: I got that one. Mark that off the list. Okay, cool.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: So this is how he feels about family. Okay, this
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: is how he and like really really get into it
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: a little bit. Yeah. Again, you're sitting down with someone
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: who could possibly end up being your best friend and
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: partner in life that you share things with. So it's
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: all about being genuine and open and real and seeing
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: how you feel with that with that person. If the
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: person you're sitting across from gives it back to you
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: and they're genuine and they're open and they're real. Then
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: you guys are starting from the right place. You're creating
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: a foundation that is built on honesty and true empathy
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: and understanding and wanting to understand each other. And and
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: also from a place of I'm not perfect. You're not perfect,
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: so let's it's kind of fun being imperfect together, like
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: this is sort of cool. I'm not putting any pressure
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: on myself of like, oh man, that's that's a mistake
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: that that's going to cost me. You shouldn't you shouldn't
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: feel that way. I feel like the honeymoon period in
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: a relationship is when you go and when you go
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: on a first date, you meet someone and you ask
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: the questions and you're on your best behavior. You then
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: are on your best behavior for the first three four months.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: It's the honeymoon period. But you can't sustain that because
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: eventually you're gonna have a tough day. You're gonna be
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: traveling somewhere, it's gonna suck, You're gonna have a hard
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: time at work. A friend of yours is gonna say something,
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: someone at a grocery store is gonna say something. You
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: get into a you know, a fender bender with someone
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: someone cuts you up. There's gonna be things that push
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: you outside of that zone that you've created where you
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: wear the mask of perfection and what you think the
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: other person wants to see. At that point, the honeymoon
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: period is over because now the person that you're with
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: is going, ooh, I didn't even know that this side existed,
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: So why not give them a heads up from the beginning,
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: and you know, in the very honest, real conversation that
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: hopefully you're having with that person, talk about like your
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: biggest pet peeves and the things that absolutely can ruin
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: your day. You're someone that likes to be on time
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: for everything, or you feel really anxious when you get
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: someplace early, so you tend to be someone that is
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: like either right on time or five minutes late. Get
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: into those conversations because sometimes they can create these really
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: sort of fun connections, and it's understanding someone that you're with.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: So I would say toss out the questions a little
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: bit and just be a little more open to sit
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: and listen and look at each other and connect and
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: see how it feels. If it feels really good being
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: in the same space as the other person, that's a
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: good sign. Then you can have some questions that are
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: sort of big ones to ask and you phrase them
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: that way. You know, you say, hey, so I've got
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: a couple questions that are just things that are sort
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: of deal breakers for me. Family, kids, house, pets. But
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: you get it. You get into the stuff I want
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: to I want to travel, but I want to have
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: adventures that are like this. Like you kind of get
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: into answering those things and having those conversations to really
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: know each other. So you may get along great, but
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: then decide, you know what, we get along greatest friends,
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: so cool, I have a new friend, or you know,
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: we get it, like, we get along really well in general,
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: So let's keep doing this and see where it leads.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: I hope that helped. What does emotional safety look like
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: for a man? Emotional safe for a man? I can't
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: speak for all men. I can only give you what
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: feels emotionally safe for me and for my friends and
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: the men that are around me. Emotional safety is being
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: with someone that doesn't judge you or make you feel
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: judged for not being perfect. Men in general are very
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: hard on themselves, and we internalize a lot of things,
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: so there's always a lot going on in our heads.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: If I make a mistake, but know that the person
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: that I'm with loves me and isn't going to judge
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: me for it and isn't telling me what a stupid
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: mistake or you know that well, that was a dumb
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: thing to do, or giving me those things, those make
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: me feel terrible someone giving me uh Using words like
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: that really affect me because they they break the part
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: of me that wants to be big and strong and
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: make everyone around me that I love feel safe and protected.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: When someone tells me that an idea was stupid or
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: I try too hard, or I reached too far, or
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: that does nothing but break my spirit. Honestly, honesty is great.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: I think it's I think it's incredibly important to sit
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: with someone and go that wasn't probably wasn't the best
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: the best idea. So how are you feeling about it? Like,
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: let's get into a conversation of how you feel about it,
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: Because you're a man is beating himself up way more
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: than you can, So help him unpack it in his
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: own mind. Help him because men aren't good at communicating,
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: help him navigate that process for himself. Ask the questions
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: that you know he's not asking himself how does he
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: feel right now? Like were there signs that led to
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: whatever it may be? There are questions, and women are
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: much better at asking those questions and getting to the
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: bottom of things and understanding things than men are. Maybe
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: take the time to help help him do that. I
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: know when Sharna does that with me, it makes me
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: feel emotionally safe because I feel like she's not judging
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: me for mistakes that I made. She's helping me understand
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: what I did and whether I still like it or
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: not after I talk about it, and then together or
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: on my own or whatever, we can then decide what
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: the next step is. But I feel emotionally safe when
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: I know she loves me no matter what. She would
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: never say anything that makes me feel like less of
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: myself than I am. She loves me for the mistakes
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: and the non mistakes, the things that were good at,
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: the things that were not good at, and she's on
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: that journey with me. It's all just a journey of
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: understanding and growing. So I feel the safest when someone
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: is there with me and they're supporting me no matter what.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: They're supporting me for my successes just as much as
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: they're supporting me for my failures just as much as
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: they are for my successes. Cool voicemail.
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: Hey, Brian, I wanted to get your take on this scenario.
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: So I recently started seeing someone and things have been
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: really great, But the only thing that's throwing me off
• 11:08
  Speaker 4: is that he and his ex still co parent their
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: dog together. They alternate every month, so one month the
• 11:16
  Speaker 4: dog is with him, and then the next month it's
• 11:18
  Speaker 4: with her. But then what gets me is that when
• 11:21
  Speaker 4: they switch, they'll spend some time together, so they have
• 11:24
  Speaker 4: it like a like a dog parent day and it
• 11:27
  Speaker 4: almost like feel like a date to me. So, I mean,
• 11:30
  Speaker 4: I totally understand it the split custody because I love
• 11:33
  Speaker 4: dogs too, but I just feel like it's weird that
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: they come constantly see each other and have these days together.
• 11:39
  Speaker 4: And again, I don't want to come across like insecure
• 11:42
  Speaker 4: controlling this early on, because it's only been a couple
• 11:44
  Speaker 4: of months so far that I've been seeing him. But
• 11:47
  Speaker 4: I just can't tell if this is something that I
• 11:50
  Speaker 4: think I'll have to be worried about for forever or okay,
• 11:55
  Speaker 4: with wherever forever. The dog's pretty young too, so not
• 11:59
  Speaker 4: to be grim, but it's not end anytime soon. So
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: I wanted to get your take on this. Do you
• 12:04
  Speaker 4: think this is a red flag? Do you think this
• 12:06
  Speaker 4: something I should just put up with? Or is this
• 12:08
  Speaker 4: worth bringing up? Can't wait to hear what your thoughts are.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Oh fair, There is absolutely nothing
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: nothing easy about that situation. I think, you know, I
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: think it's funny some people have pets together and that
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: is the child that they had while they were together.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: I mean, I think right now it's early on, so
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: I would honestly just continue to take a step back
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: and go it is what it is. They they're co
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: parenting this dog. They have this like fifty to fifty
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: visitation schedule, they see each other when they do. I mean,
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: I think it would greatly depend on what it is
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: doing when they see each other, Like are they running
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: on the beach with the dog together, or are they
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: like getting a hotel room and the three of them
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: are laying in bed and watching Netflix. Because those are
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: very different situations. And then I think the very logical
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: next step if you guys continue to be together and
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: he continues to co parent with his ex, this for
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: this dog that you are with him, that you're with
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: him when the drop offs happen and when the time
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: together happens. And you know, co parenting is you are.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: You are bringing into your ex's space your space and
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: his space now is with you, So you kind of
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: do that together. And I think, you know, if he's
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: open to that and that doesn't freak him out at all,
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: it should be totally healthy. If it does freak him
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: out at all, then that's a different conversation to have,
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: and that is that to me, then, is a conversation
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: of this, Like, I've been very open to co parenting
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: a dog and everything. It's fantastic. I think it's great
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: that you do it. I hope it's a reflection of
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: the father you are or will be. But at the
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: same time, like I need to feel important also, so
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: can we figure out a way where I don't feel
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: less important in this situation? And I feel like you
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: are honoring both. I love that you're honoring your animal
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: that way. Please honor me the same. Oh boy, that's it.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: That's a tricky one. Silver lining he is very good
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: at co parenting and being present, and he understands the
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: importance of putting on a united front for something that
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: is young that is younger that needs that. There's your
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: silver lining. Oh my god, that's a tough one. I
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: don't know how I would feel, honestly, if I was
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: dating someone that was like, yeah, so my ex and
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: I still like hang out, I would have to have
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: the conversation and go, hey, cool, so can I start
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: coming with you? Like you know, it's might be uncomfortable
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: for your ex, but it's equally as uncomfortable, if not more,
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: for me. And I am now the person that is
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: presently in your life. So there should be a lot
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: of importance put on this relationship. Oh boy, good luck,
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: good luck with that one. What's something you wish more
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: women would ask men instead of assuming I okay, I
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: really wish. And I can't stand when this happens when
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: a woman or women speak about men, and they speak
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: about men in general like they can just speak for
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: all of them, like they're all the same. We're not
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: all the same. Stop assuming that because one man or
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: a group of men like things this way, that all
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: men like things that way. It depends on age, it
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: depends on personality type, it depends on history. There are
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: so many factors that make up who a person is.
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: So I think it's really unfair when you automatically assume
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: that you know because oh, all men are the same,
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: like all men, you know, all men would prefer to
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: sit on the couch with their friend and drink a
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: beer and watch sports, then go on vacation with with
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: you know, their significant other. False false false false. Pay
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: attention to the person that you're with, like, really really
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: know them. Sharna doesn't assume that I'm like any man
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: she's ever been with, because she knows. She's asked questions,
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: she has said ouch when things hurt, and she's seen
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: the way I respond. She has experienced the way we
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: speak to each other when we have disagreements, and that
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: we aren't ever venomous with each other. We never say
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: things that we can't take back. Rules in fighting, men,
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: Rules in fighting. I always tell people, make sure that
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: you fight fair. If you're with someone that you truly
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: care about, fight fair. Choose to never say something that
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: you're going to regret, because people can forgive, but they
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: cannot forget. Did that rhyme? I feel like that rhymed?
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: Pretty awesome. I love when that happens. What's the next voicemail?
• 18:36
  Speaker 5: Hey Brian, I'm wondering from your perspective, do you think
• 18:42
  Speaker 5: sex has gotten better with age or do you find
• 18:45
  Speaker 5: yourself missing your twenties? And then part two of that is,
• 18:50
  Speaker 5: what do you think makes a woman unforgettable in bed? Like,
• 18:53
  Speaker 5: in a good.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: Way, sex has absolutely gotten better with age because I
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: am way less concerned with how I feel in it
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: and my own insecurities, and I'm way more concerned about
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: how she feels. And then I'm doing things that she
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: truly likes, and then I'm also not doing things she
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: doesn't like. I think, you know, I think there's way
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: more connection later on in life, Like I I spend
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: way more time staring into Sharana's eyes now than I
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: did when I was younger. When I was younger, it
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: was like, I groom could be pitch black. It was
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: just an action. You sort of did it until the
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: action was done. Then you were like, cool, let's go
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: make a grilled cheese sandwich or something. Now I don't
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: know why a grilled cheese sandwich. It just feels right
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: sex And then like tomato soup and a grilled cheese
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: sandwich like after school Special, but like in after sex Special,
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I yeah, when I was younger. It was.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: When I was younger, sex was much more about how
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: the action was perceived, So like I'd watch watch porn
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: and then it was like, God, I want to be
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: I want to seem as cool as they do, you know,
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: And so you're trying to do all the things and
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: you sort of like you complicate the whole situation. Now
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: it's pretty simple. I am with my fiance because I
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: love being with my fiance and I love making her
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: feel amazing and vice versa. So we we try and
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: do that as often as we can, which isn't as
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: often as we want because we have kids, and door
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: locks get a little a little tough, especially when you
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: have a young one, because you don't want to create
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: a situation where they're banging on a door wondering why
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: the door is locked. I think my connection has just
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: changed a lot more as I've gotten older. Sex was
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: way more sort of a sport thing when I was younger.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: Sex now is a connection thing. It's one more thing
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: that we can do to feel connected. What makes a
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: woman unforgettable in bed in a good way? I think, Well,
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: so that is a preference question. I mean it's like
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: some some guys are really into the lingerie and the
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: dirty talk and the stuff, and then some guys that
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: doesn't do it for them at all. I think sex
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: is so individual, you know, it's so individual what people
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: enjoy and not. I think what a woman honestly can
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: do is be as present for a guy as possible
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: and ask questions and do things that he really likes,
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: and ask if he really likes them, and if he doesn't,
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: try something else, and vice versa. I think that's what
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: makes for great sex is great communication with it. My
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: fiance and I talk all the time about about things,
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: about things to try, different ideas, different things. You know,
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: it's because you never know. It's those those flavors change constantly.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: You'll be someone that loves vanilla ice cream for years
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden you're like, God, I
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: this strawberry is what I've been missing for the past
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: five years of my life. It's the same thing in sex.
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: It sort of kind of goes all over the place.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: I think what makes things the best, the best sex
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: is when you don't assume that like, oh, it's just
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: what what seems to be hitting number one on like
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: porn sites, but really making sure that it's tailored for
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: the person that you're with. Does that answer it? It's
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: a hard question to answer. Oh my god, I'm sweating
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: and not because it's hot like that was a that's
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: a tough question to answer. Jack. What part of your
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: divorce was hardest that nobody warned you about? What's the
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: hardest part of being a dad after divorce? Good question, Jack.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: The part of my divorce that was the hardest that
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: nobody warned me about was my kids. Was this was
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: the breaking up of the family. You know, you have
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: these things that become sort of routine, and whether you
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: have kids or whether it's just you and and your
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: your partner you're now ex partner. You have things that
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: you did together. You have restaurants that you went to together,
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: you have waiters and waitresses that you knew you guys
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: were known together as a couple, and now all of
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: a sudden you have to walk into those places alone.
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: And then eventually they'll see you walk in with somebody new,
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: and there's always that part of your brain that is
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: kind of judging it, going, oh my god, what you
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: know this is really this is a big deal. Walking
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: into this coffee shop with this new person. I wonder
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: what they think, Like I wonder if they're seeing this
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: and picking it apart, and you know, I wonder if
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: they question why we divorced and if if I was
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: the bad guy or she was the bad guy. I
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: think sort of refinding life without the other person is
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: kind of the hardest is the hardest part, Like you're
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: sort of you're rethinking all of it. You fall into
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: a pattern with someone and that is your day to
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: day and now you're creating a new day to day
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: without that person, and it can feel great, but it
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: can also at the same time be intimidating because your
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: mind goes crazy. The hardest part of being a dad
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: after divorce is remembering. So I think people make a
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: big mistake when they get divorced in feeling like they
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: don't want it to affect their kids. That's an unrealistic
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: goal because it absolutely will affect your kids, whether you
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: want it to or not, it will. Their parents are
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: now living two separate lives, and they're going back and
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: forth having to adjust to fitting in with both both
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: of those lives. What you can do as a parent, though,
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: is you can choose how it affects your kids, whether
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: it's a really healthy, good situation where you you are
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: respectful of the other person, whether you truly cherish your
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: kids when it's your time with them or not, how
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: special you make it for them. They could end up
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: with two households that are great instead of just one,
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: so it could be a really valuable positive experience, and
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: you could show them that there is no stigma involved
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: with parents separating and they realize like, oh, yeah, my
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: parents separated, but it was it was amazing. The people
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: they ended up with were great. The two homes were great.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: I always felt loved in both of them. That's that's
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: within your control. So like, figure out what is in
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: your control and live consciously with it in every situation.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: Make a choice to never say anything negative about the
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: other parent in front of your kids. Make it the
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: best situation it can be. And sometimes that's not easy
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: to do. You know, sometimes co parenting isn't easy. One
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: parent is much healthier than the other in a breakup
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: and in relationships ending, so you're having to kind of
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: take some shots here and there. You know, you end
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: up with some scars on your tongue from biting it
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: so much. But we're adults. That's what separates us from kids.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: We've lived a life where we now should be able to,
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: in an adult way, look at a situation and figure
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: out the best way of moving through it. We're not.
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: We're not young where our emotions are sort of on
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: our sleeve, on our sleeves and we just sort of blah.
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: As soon as you know, as soon as something happens,
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: you say how you're feeling, you freak out. You like,
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: we are grown, and part of being grown is having
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: the ability to do that. I think. So as a dad,
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: it's being a dad is being a parent is hard.
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: Be the best dad you can be. Just love your
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: kids like it's their time now. Your your time is
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: do what you want to do with your time when
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: your kids are at their moms. But when your kids
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: are with you, they need a dad. I don't just
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: need a friend that takes them to Disneyland and the
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: ice cream shop and the movies and is sort of
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: a fun weekend dad. They need a parent. They need
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: a father. So be that even when it's hard, you
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: can do it. They have faith in yourself, you can
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: do it. Next voicemail, So my.
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: Name is Stephanie, and this question is for Brian Austin
• 29:37
  Speaker 3: Green and it is. Do you think the majority of
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: men are turned off after watching their partner give birth vaginally?
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: Are they turned off sexually? Thank you?
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: Wow, Stephanie. I think that depends. I think, unfortunately, the
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: answer to that question depends on the relationship itself, the
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: person you're with, why you all are together. If you're
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: with someone that just absolutely loves and adores you, it
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: is a miracle what you're doing. And vaginal birth is
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: just incredible to witness, to realize, like what all the
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: female body can do. If I'm just sort of in
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: something just because I'm physically attracted to that person, and
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: then all of a sudden that body part is no
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: longer just mine, you know. I sure for some men,
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: I think absolutely they can be turned off because to them,
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: that part of the body is just purely for sport.
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: You know. It's just like it is just it's just
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: a part of you that I that I use and
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: you use me, and we use things together and we
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: have fun and it's just that, oh my god, that's
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: meant for more than just me. Well, I don't know
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: how I feel about that. I think there I think
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: there are some men that are in relationships where that
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: is that's the case. I hope, I really hope that
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: women that go through pregnancy and childbirth are with someone
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: that values them and what it is they're doing, uh
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: and and the fact that they're creating life because it
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: is there's nothing cooler on the planet. I hope. I
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: hope you're with the with the one that's there for
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: the right reasons. And I hope that answers your your question.
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: Did your guy friends show up for you the way
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: you expected after your divorce? Yes, they did, and then
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: some I don't. I honestly don't know what I expected
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: my friends to do when my divorce was happening. The
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: two friends that I was lucky enough to have at
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: the time were fantastic. Our kids went to school together,
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: we knew each other really well, and they were fantastic
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: at just holding space for me and just being there
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: and loving me and being whatever I needed in any moment.
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: I you know, I didn't. I don't know if I
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: had expectations because I didn't know. I wasn't really prepared
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: for it. I didn't know what it was going to be,
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: and they sort of rolled with the punches with me,
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: and I think that's important, you know. I think, I
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: think if you're a friend of someone that is going
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: through something like that, you got to be ready to
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: roll with the punches with them. You got to be
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: ready to sit down and just shut the fuck up
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: and just listen and be a fucking solid ear and
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: a really solid love and trust partner and person in
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: their life. You make, you make that commitment, you know,
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: these are the times when these are the times that
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: that you really show someone who you are in their life.
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: It's easy to be a great friend when things are great.
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: You can be fun to hang out with. You guys, Oh,
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: you laugh so much when you're doing stuff together. When
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: times get hard, are you willing to put that aside
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: and just like sit and be there and like, you know,
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: meet them for coffee at seven third be in the
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: morning if they're not feeling great and tell your wife
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: at home or whatever, Hey, so and so is really
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: going through something right now, I'm going to go help them.
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: That's that's an amazing quality to have. And I think
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: if you know, if you are in a truly healthy relationship,
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: your partner would be incredibly impressed with that. Instead of
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: being like what you you mean you're going to leave
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: that be like, yeah, no, that's amazing. Go do that.
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: I hope, I hope that they're okay. Text me and
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: just let me know how it's going and what's happening.
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: I think when people go through situations like that, divorce, separation,
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: loss of a job, things like that, they don't necessarily
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: have expectations. They don't know they're feeling all sorts of things.
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: So sometimes best way you can help them through a
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: situation like that is just sitting with them in a
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: completely non judgmental way, like not judging them for anything
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: they're feeling, anything that's going on in their head, any
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: insecurity they're having or jealousy or whatever's going on that
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: you're just there and you just love them. And if
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: they ask for your opinion on something, give it to them.
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: Then if they don't, don't. A good therapist is really
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: good at listening and seeing what a person needs, not
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: just following a checklist of Oh, did I ask this,
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: did I get to this, did we try this? Okay, cool,
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: I did all the things. Oh you're still not better.
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: That's on you. That's not really helping anyone. And it's
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: amazing what you learn as a person. When you put
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: yourself aside and you're there for somebody else, you hear things.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: You hear yourself say things, you hear the other person
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: say things, and if you truly care, it does nothing
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: but give you food for thought for yourself. It raises questions.
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: You say things and you go, mmmm, God, I really
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: need to hear myself say that, because that's something that
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: I don't do enough of for me. I don't take
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: enough time for me. I don't listen well enough like
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: I don't. And you know, sometimes it's hearing yourself say
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: those things to somebody else that makes you realize God, Okay,
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: there was a part of me that was maybe saying
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: that to myself as well. My guy friends absolutely showed
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: up for me when I was going through my divorce.
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: I'm incredibly lucky. I have four friends, two that I've
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: been friends with for a long time and two that
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: I have been friends with still for a long time.
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: Not nearly as long as the other two, but they
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: have absolutely been rocks for me, and I hope it's
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: been the same vice versa whenever they've needed anything. So
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: my final like, much like Jerry Springer, my final thought
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: to everybody is. Be honest with yourself, be honest with
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: the people that are in your life. Be willing to
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: listen and sit and be quiet, because that can be
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: just as valuable as someone that speaks all the time.
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: I wish everyone health and spiritual wealth and growth and
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: happy twenty twenty six. This is really cool, Like I've
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: never I've never done something like this where I just
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: sit and sort of answer questions and give advice. I
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: really love doing this, and I really want to do
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: it more so, if you're going through anything and you
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: need some advice, and you're feeling lost, your divorce process, anything,
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: myself and everybody here at I do Part two, we
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: can help. Just send an email, you can leave us
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: a voicemail. It's all in the info section of the
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: show notes, so you can follow us on socials. I
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: do Part two an iHeart podcast where falling in love
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: is absolutely the main objective.