Latest / Is Your Way In Your Way? / Be Your Own CEO

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Be Your Own CEO · Is Your Way In Your Way?

0:25
Cassandra: Yes, this is Cassandra Crawley-Mayo and this is my podcast title Is your Way In your Way and for many of my listeners out there but I bet I have some new listeners that's the title of my book Is your Way In your Way, and it's a self-discovery journey.
0:42
Cassandra: It's a journey, trust me, on how to oops, it's actually a self-discovery journey.
0:51
Cassandra: It's about a self-discovery guide for women on how to restore yourself, learn from your experiences and be your true self.
0:59
Cassandra: And on this podcast I like to have guests on with topics related to what I say personal improvement, self-improvement, even some business improvement.
1:12
Cassandra: And also these podcasts are going to enable you to reflect on some things, and I'm always hopeful and prayerful that it'll be something said that will enable you to pivot and start doing what is necessary for you to start living your best life on your terms.
1:31
Cassandra: And the event that you're not living your best life and if you've not really thought about it, what a great opportunity to think what is it going to take for me to live my best life?
1:40
Cassandra: And I have a special guest on and her name is Heather Stewart and I'm going to introduce you all.
1:46
Cassandra: I'm going to get her out of the orange room and put her back in it, hi.
1:51
Heather: Heather, I love the orange room.
1:52
Heather: I think the orange room is a great room.
1:54
Heather: I do, too, thank you so much.
1:56
Cassandra: It's my favorite color.
1:56
Heather: Look, I'm even wearing orange today.
1:58
Cassandra: No, I know, Don't tell them.
1:59
Cassandra: I sent you the memo.
2:00
Cassandra: It's about wearing orange.
2:04
Cassandra: Hey, listeners, this topic today is titled you are the CEO of your work.
2:12
Cassandra: I think that is so profound because when I was in my corporate jobs, I would always say well, I'm the CEO of this, you know.
2:20
Cassandra: That would help me put things in perspective, you know, and so I'm loving this title and just can't wait to talk about it.
2:27
Cassandra: So, Heather and my audience, I'm going gonna read a little bit of Heather's bio, just so you can get some information about her, to kind of get you to say, oh, now I understand why she's qualified to do the work that she's doing.
2:41
Cassandra: So Heather is a steward, is a dynamic force in the wellness world.
2:47
Cassandra: She seamlessly marries her background in corporate finance that sounds familiar with her fervent dedication to holistic health to help guide transformative coaching experiences for her clients.
3:01
Cassandra: She found her own escape from the societal expectations of a career at the expense of health and vitality and now helps other midlife women do the same.
3:13
Cassandra: She uses her thriving life method framework to help.
3:19
Cassandra: She helps overwhelmed overachievers oh my gosh Connect to their inner purpose so they can intentionally create a new roadmap to the life they were meant to live.
3:31
Cassandra: She is also a host of her own podcast, titled Back to Me, and she's helping guide wellness your way.
3:39
Cassandra: Wow, when I was reading this, I'm like overwhelmed high achievers.
3:45
Cassandra: Well, I tell you, I was so overwhelmed and it made me think was I a high achiever?
3:51
Cassandra: And then when I go to the gym and people said there's that high achieving girl and I'm like, oh, I guess I was and I was overwhelmed.
3:58
Cassandra: But I'm not overwhelmed when I'm working out, but boy was I overwhelmed in the corporate world.
4:03
Heather: I tell you, it's funny that you say that, because I think overachievers don't have any idea that they are overachievers.
4:12
Heather: Right, it's like I just want to do everything and be everything, and be 100% at everything, all at the same time, exactly, and you don't, you don't know, until you crash you're like oh, that wasn't healthy oh my gosh, have I crashed a number of times.
4:29
Cassandra: And you are so right.
4:31
Cassandra: You're so right.
4:32
Cassandra: And I actually heard somebody talk about the other day how, if you think about it, you're trying to do everything at work and you you're overwhelmed.
4:40
Cassandra: And she said something like this.
4:42
Cassandra: She says, you know what, if you got everything done at work before you left for the day, you wouldn't have a job.
4:47
Cassandra: And I was like, oh, that's an interesting way of looking at it.
4:50
Cassandra: So I like that perspective, but it sounds like Heather.
4:54
Cassandra: I'm curious.
4:55
Cassandra: What was your life like before you escaped a career at the expense of your health and vitality?
5:04
Heather: What was life like, right?
5:05
Heather: So I was a CPA for 15 years.
5:10
Heather: I had the big house in the suburbs.
5:14
Heather: I was married, I had the company car.
5:17
Heather: I had the stock options.
5:18
Heather: It was funny because I tell people I had a five bedroom house and it was just for me and my husband and my two cats.
5:24
Heather: I was like why?
5:28
Heather: And you know, because I wanted a big house.
5:30
Heather: Right, I had to live far away from work, so I spent a lot of time in the car.
5:36
Cassandra: This was before.
5:37
Heather: Podcasts were a big thing, sure, and I mean I was super successful because I had all of the things you're supposed to have.
5:56
Heather: You know, I had all of the material things, but I was.
6:02
Heather: I mean, I worked really hard.
6:04
Heather: I spent 12 hours a day sitting at a desk and it's just not good for you.
6:10
Heather: Even so, there was a study done at one point where it even said even if you work out an hour every single day, if you spend extended periods of time sitting and any in any capacity yeah it's you're still at increased risk for heart disease.
6:24
Heather: Because if you think about, like I think about this in terms of blood flow, so think of a stream.
6:33
Heather: You know, every now and then a flood of water might come through, but if it sits stagnant most of the time, gunk is going to build up so that's how I kind of translate it into um, into the body, gunk is going to build up and make you prone for illness if you sit a lot, and so I was having a conversation one day with a friend who I worked with, and it's funny, even 20 years later, I still go out for dinner with these friends whenever we can get together, and I was coming to the end of a project and I was due for another promotion and my husband he's my ex-husband now, my husband at the time he wouldn't have admitted it, but he was a little annoyed that I kept getting promoted because he wanted promotions.
7:30
Heather: And people say, why would you complain about promotion?
7:32
Heather: Because it's recognition, because it's like, wow, you're doing so well.
7:37
Heather: But on the inside, like my inner self was saying to me, yeah, great, great, they recognize that you work hard and you do what you're supposed to and you're diligent and you're responsible and you can do all of this.
7:51
Heather: But I'm trading, but you're trading your life for dollars.
7:58
Heather: Yes, and I kind of went.
8:02
Heather: One day I was talking to my friend.
8:04
Heather: I said I don't want another promotion.
8:06
Heather: I said it's just going to mean more work and, yeah, more money, whatever.
8:10
Heather: But I was like, how much is enough I have?
8:14
Heather: I don't need anything else.
8:16
Heather: I don't need more money, I need more time for myself to even even just to you know, go for a walk.
8:27
Heather: It's like anything to help me remove myself from work.
8:31
Heather: So that was when that project was coming to an end.
8:36
Heather: I saw this fork in the road and I said, okay, I'm going to go the way that people don't usually go.
8:44
Cassandra: Yeah, right, I quit oh my gosh, gosh, you just quit.
8:48
Cassandra: Oh my goodness, yeah, yeah had a revelation.
8:54
Heather: But I had no plan, which was, uh, I had no plan, but except that I knew that I had to leave and the only way that I was going to be able to develop a plan was to be out of that space way that I was going to be able to develop a plan was to be out of that space.
9:14
Heather: Now, for some people that's just too much.
9:20
Heather: That would be more overwhelming than staying in the job.
9:22
Heather: Yeah, but my job was just everything was just too much.
9:24
Heather: So, and what I actually did like full transparency, did like full transparency, I left my job.
9:35
Cassandra: I sold my house and I got divorced all within a three oh all within like a three-month period yeah, the five-bedroom home.
9:39
Cassandra: Yes, did the cats come?
9:42
Heather: with you, um, the cats.
9:45
Heather: Because what actually ended up happening was I went to India, so I sold my house and put my job, I bought it to India, so I my cats went to my sister and my niece and my nephew, so they stayed in the family because I you know I love, love my cats.
10:00
Heather: But I didn't know how long I was going to be gone, so I just said can the kids look after my cats while I'm gone?
10:08
Heather: And then they just ended up staying there.
10:11
Cassandra: Oh, really I call what you did.
10:14
Cassandra: You had a lot of courage, boy, were you brave.
10:17
Cassandra: And did you have a comfort zone?
10:20
Cassandra: It's like, hey, I'm just going to quit and move on, sell the house, so that comfort zone, that was pretty amazing.
10:29
Cassandra: I would say so, listen to you.
10:33
Heather: Yeah, it's very interesting.
10:34
Heather: Like people say, you know they're stuck in their comfort zone and I was very comfortable.
10:40
Heather: Like I was comfortable and it's so interesting.
10:44
Heather: This last night I dreamt about zombies, which I don't watch zombie movies.
10:46
Heather: I don't know why I was dreaming about zombies, but I don't.
10:48
Heather: I don't watch zombie movies.
10:49
Heather: I don't know why I was dreaming about a zombies, but it's almost like.
10:52
Heather: It's like you're hypnotized.
10:54
Heather: You go to where it's like the Dunkin' Donuts guy time to make the donuts, time to make the donuts and you just get stuck in the cycle and you don't think about it.
11:02
Heather: But when I started to step outside and look at my life, I said, oh, that's not what I want.
11:09
Heather: And it can feel, and then that becomes uncomfortable.
11:13
Heather: See, seeing what you don't what you're doing and realizing that's not actually what you want, that becomes more uncomfortable than being in that routine, at least for me it did.
11:24
Heather: Now for some people like.
11:26
Heather: I had a friend who took me to lunch when this was all happening who was prepared to take me down to the psychiatric unit.
11:34
Heather: He was completely serious.
11:38
Heather: He thought I had, like, lost my mind and he took me to lunch because he said I had to look you in the eye to make sure that you were not completely insane.
11:49
Heather: And I'm like all I did was leave my job.
11:58
Heather: People get divorced every day Like what's the big deal?
12:00
Heather: But it was so entrenched with them that that's who.
12:01
Heather: I was that they couldn't see that there was another possibility.
12:05
Cassandra: Another possibility.
12:06
Cassandra: With Heather, you know, you said something I thought was interesting.
12:10
Cassandra: You said that there was no such thing as a work life balance, and I want to hear more about that, because when I was working in corporate, I used to always say that's the problem that I said, ok, I'm working 50, 60 hours, I mean literally like you.
12:28
Cassandra: It was just crazy.
12:30
Cassandra: And then the executives would say, well, here's this opportunity.
12:35
Cassandra: Why don't you want it?
12:37
Cassandra: I don't want that, I don't want more.
12:40
Cassandra: I'm like I need to have a work life balance, and so I thought that would be the answer.
12:45
Cassandra: And I'm going to die, yeah, and how do you do that?
12:49
Cassandra: So you say there's no such thing.
12:51
Cassandra: Why do you say that?
12:53
Heather: Well, I say that because and I had a debate one day with someone because I used to give webinars on this, free webinars and the disconnect is you're trying to take this thing called work and say that's work and that's over there.
13:09
Heather: The rest of my life is over here, but that doesn't count as my life.
13:14
Heather: I'm going to try and chop it in half and leave that over there with something that I have to do.
13:19
Heather: The rest of my life I'm going to live over here, but in reality it has to be incorporated into your life.
13:25
Heather: So, instead of trying to separate your work and the rest of your life, I actually look at six things, because balance is like a place where nothing's moving.
13:40
Heather: It's like you have to hold your breath and not move, where I think more of harmonizing.
13:45
Heather: Sometimes stuff is going to go up, sometimes you're working a little more, sometimes you can work a little less, so it's almost like you're harmonizing these parts so that they can support each other.
13:55
Heather: So and they I love acronyms so the parts spell the word become.
14:00
Heather: There's six of them.
14:01
Heather: The first one and they're in no particular order, but except that they spell the word become.
14:07
Heather: So there's your body.
14:08
Heather: So you've got to think about your physical wellness.
14:10
Heather: There's your emotional wellness, like how you're feeling emotionally day to day.
14:16
Heather: There's your community, which is your relationships, whether it's close relationships, like we all have our solar system of people around us, how they support us or don't support us.
14:28
Heather: There's your occupation.
14:30
Heather: And even for people who are retired, I have a client who's retired, who calls what she does her beloved vocation.
14:36
Heather: My husband is retired.
14:38
Heather: His occupation is he delivers food five days a week on his bicycle for the food bank.
14:44
Heather: He delivers food boxes and he loves his job.
14:48
Heather: He sees it as his job, even though he's a volunteer.
14:52
Heather: Um, there's your financial wellness.
14:54
Heather: M is your money, because we we require coin of the realm.
14:59
Heather: Is that a dog?
15:02
Cassandra: yes, that's max.
15:03
Cassandra: Oh, many of my listeners know about max and every now and then he wants you to know that he's in the house.
15:10
Cassandra: All right, max, we love you.
15:13
Cassandra: I know, max, be quiet.
15:15
Cassandra: Oh my gosh.
15:17
Heather: Okay, that's all right, I love animals.
15:19
Heather: There's your money, your, your, your financial health, and that doesn't mean you have to have a million dollars in the bank, that doesn't mean that you're living on the street.
15:35
Heather: It's like do you have enough for what you need and what you want and to achieve what you want in life?
15:38
Heather: And then there's e, which is engagement, which, for me, is yours.
15:41
Heather: I needed an e your spiritual health, which doesn't tie to a religion.
15:45
Heather: It's a, a greater purpose, um, feeling, feeling like you're on your soul mission, whatever that, whatever that is for you, just something, something bigger.
15:56
Heather: So, thinking about those six things, as we try to, as we work on harmonizing them, that's where the thriving life, thriving life method, that's the part of it, right, right.
16:07
Heather: So we, we do, we have, we take a look and we took, we look regularly, say, okay, how am I doing right now?
16:14
Heather: Like is my job really low right now and kind of sucking me down, and is there something if I did something to help me bring the level of that back up, it will support the other parts.
16:31
Heather: And one of the actually one of the easiest examples is always physical health.
16:33
Heather: So when you're sick, when you're sick and not feeling well.
16:37
Heather: Your emotions, you feel bad.
16:39
Heather: You might, you know, be crabby with your husband or your partner or your friends because you don't feel good.
16:45
Heather: You know you, if you're a solopreneur, you can't work.
16:49
Heather: So your money is affected where, if you're super physically healthy, it's going to support everything else you do.
16:54
Heather: But it's true of all of the different pieces.
16:57
Heather: They each support each other.
16:59
Heather: They're all interconnected and sometimes there's just one like little keystone that if you can get that one working a little bit better, it'll help the other ones rise because, you know, one rising lifts all the others.
17:15
Heather: So, for work.
17:15
Heather: If you're working 60 hours a week, it's going to make you physically unwell.
17:20
Heather: You are going to be crabby when you go home If you, if you ever even you know it's going to affect your sleep, which affects your emotions.
17:28
Heather: You might make lots of money.
17:29
Heather: It's you know.
17:30
Heather: That's great, your money will be fine, but you might not feel like you're achieving your life purpose.
17:35
Heather: You might feel like you're wasting your life.
17:37
Heather: Now, nothing is ever wasted, but it just may not be how you wanted to spend it, right.
17:43
Cassandra: Exactly.
17:44
Cassandra: It reminds me of one of the things my mom used to say if you don't have your health, you don't have anything.
17:50
Cassandra: And when you talked about synchronization, I was thinking about an orchestra, a symphony, and you talked about I read that you were talking about the higher power, the power, your higher power, you can't go wrong with it, you know.
18:06
Cassandra: So I was, yeah, so, thinking about that, I was like, ok, and that higher power is, is what I say, the conductor for the symphony, right, yeah, just based on you know what, what?
18:20
Cassandra: You just what you just shared now.
18:23
Cassandra: But, heather, you're on a mission and your mission is to inspire self replenishment.
18:31
Cassandra: Okay, keep it.
18:33
Cassandra: And I loved it when you said keeping your well full.
18:36
Cassandra: Where did that?
18:37
Cassandra: Well, let me ask you this First of all, what do you specifically do?
18:43
Cassandra: When you talked about coaching and you have that, that method and and you know, and it sounds like, based on what you were saying and how you were feeling, you sold the home you went specifically is it just coaching and coaching to, to fill your mission?
19:20
Heather: So it's interesting.
19:20
Heather: So if, like, my mission is to help everyone be, you know, connected to what it is they're here for and live that life fully.
19:34
Heather: Whatever that is and I use sometimes the example of, you know, it doesn't have to be the Hollywood version, doesn't have to be, you know, an Instagram influencer there's a garden that I walk by when I walk to work and it's so beautiful in the summer with flowers, and I usually stop and look at it and I thank that person energetically for this garden, and maybe their whole purpose in this life is to create something beautiful like a garden for people to look at, you know.
20:04
Heather: So I preface it by saying, you know, people's missions don't have to be so huge that it's just, you know, there has to be a big voice man speaking over top of it.
20:15
Heather: It can be something simple because small things make big differences in the world, because small things make big differences in the world.
20:19
Heather: So my small thing is for each person that I help, I want them to be able to shine their light and that ripples out to the people they connect with and the people they connect with.
20:30
Heather: So, you know, the little ripples can make bigger waves.
20:33
Heather: And the way that I help people is I have a I mean I do one-on-one coaching and when I do one-on-one coaching it's entirely dictated by the person that I'm helping.
20:45
Heather: I'm holding that space for them and helping them, like diving into what it is that's going on with them and what they want.
20:55
Heather: And then we start to figure out, okay, what's what's our first move, what's our next move?
20:59
Heather: Figure out, okay, what's what's our first move, what's our next move.
21:05
Heather: But I also do it as a DIY, that is a pre-recorded session and that gives you the pieces, because some people just want to do it themselves.
21:10
Heather: And and I get that because look at everything that I've done I mean I've filled my toolbox with.
21:17
Heather: I want some of that.
21:17
Heather: And I like I've been teaching yoga for 20 years, I've been a personal trainer for 20 years.
21:27
Heather: I teach Tai Chi.
21:28
Heather: You know, you name it.
21:28
Heather: I want to go and try it out and do it.
21:29
Heather: And that's part of the reason I say people are never stuck because I'm like go do something different.
21:32
Heather: So I've filled my my well by do it, by being curious and filling up all these things.
21:39
Heather: But what I've discovered is all of the things that I've learned and gained and worked on myself.
21:44
Heather: It helps other people to get some perspective.
21:49
Heather: I can see what's going on for them in a way that maybe they can't, so maybe I can just shine a light for them.
21:54
Heather: So what I'm doing the DIY people.
21:57
Heather: Of course they have access to, you know, jump into community and have conversations, because I have a free community and then there's a group coaching part of it as well.
22:08
Heather: So the people who are in the group coaching have the videos, but then they have regular meetings as a group, because I find, if it's because I'm part of my own groups that I love to meet with, when I'm in those groups I know I can be myself and there will be no judgment and the people there are there to support me and want me to be successful.
22:32
Heather: So I can bring my dirty laundry, whatever it is that day or something I'm having a hard time with, because the people that I'm supporting will think wow, her life is perfect, everything is amazing, but I'm human, that's right.
23:10
Heather: Not every day is sunshine and unicorns, that's the truth.
23:14
Heather: But at the same time, I know that the sunshine and the unicorns are just behind the cloud.
23:19
Heather: So I just have to work to clear the cloud.
23:23
Cassandra: That's right, because the sun is always out.
23:25
Cassandra: The sun is always shining somewhere.
23:28
Cassandra: That's right it is.
23:33
Heather: It's just behind the clouds, right?
23:34
Heather: I don't know if you've ever read any Thich Nhat Hanh, but way back when I was in university, this was even before I was practicing yoga.
23:49
Heather: This was before I knew anything.
23:49
Heather: I don't even know how I got this book by Thich Nhat Hanh, and the thing that I remember of it is he was talking about, you know, when he was sad he there'd be a flower.
23:53
Heather: He said it's okay, the flower is holding my smile.
23:55
Heather: For me.
23:56
Heather: I'm like, wow, that's really maybe.
23:58
Heather: That was like one of those.
23:59
Heather: Here's a book.
24:00
Heather: You're going to remember this later.
24:02
Heather: I know the universe delivers Wow.
24:07
Cassandra: So you said you don't.
24:08
Cassandra: We talked about stuck.
24:10
Cassandra: What are your suggestions as a first step?
24:15
Cassandra: When a person feels stuck, what should they do?
24:20
Heather: So I do a couple of things with people do.
24:22
Heather: So I do a couple of things with people.
24:24
Heather: One is depending on what kind of resources they have.
24:30
Heather: I love a whiteboard, but I have a client who just has big sheets of paper.
24:38
Heather: You just write down everything about why you are stuck and if you're stuck, do you even know where you're trying to get to?
24:42
Heather: Like you might say I'm stuck, I'm stuck, but where are you trying to get?
24:46
Heather: You're stuck, do you even know where you're trying to get to?
24:48
Heather: Like you might say I'm stuck, I'm stuck, but where are you trying to get.
24:49
Cassandra: Maybe it's just you don't.
24:56
Heather: You haven't seen the exit sign for the highway.
24:58
Heather: So write down everything you want and all the reasons you can't have it and then step back and ask yourself is all that true, right?
25:05
Heather: Because it's not Like.
25:09
Heather: I've known people who were unhappy with their job and they were actually up for retirement retirement and they turned it down because they thought they were.
25:23
Heather: They thought, you know, I have to keep my job because I have to keep my house and my truck and my camper and my cottage and et cetera, et cetera et cetera et cetera, and I'm like.
25:32
Heather: So I said, well, what if, cause, their house was winterized and they wanted to live at their, or their cottage was winterized and they really wanted to be at the cottage?
25:41
Heather: I'm like what if you just sell the house and sell some of the toys that you don't use anymore and just live and be happy?
25:49
Heather: Well, no, I can't do that, because, because, because, because, so all of those because the yeah, buts and the because is when you write them down and you look at them and you say, but is that really true?
26:00
Heather: And be honest, right.
26:02
Cassandra: That's right, that's right.
26:03
Heather: Sometimes we're just avoiding making a change.
26:06
Heather: Sometimes our excuses are just because we're afraid of something, not of either not being successful, and we're afraid we're going to look stupid or we're going to be successful.
26:17
Heather: And what if we are successful?
26:20
Heather: Oh my gosh, what does that?
26:21
Cassandra: mean Just as bad?
26:23
Cassandra: Exactly Now, heather.
26:26
Cassandra: This to me is amazing, when you had enough and you knew that the finance piece wasn't something that you really wanted to do anymore.
26:38
Cassandra: After that did you?
26:42
Cassandra: Now that just didn't come up one day day.
26:45
Cassandra: You were kind of mulling over that for a little while yeah, and yeah.
26:50
Cassandra: and when you did that, did you know then what it is you wanted to do?
26:56
Cassandra: Did you know you knew one thing that would give you pieces.
26:59
Cassandra: You didn't your your time was your time like you weren't working hours.
27:04
Cassandra: You know that was something you didn't your time was your time Like you weren't working hours.
27:05
Cassandra: You know that was something you didn't want to do.
27:07
Cassandra: So you had no idea what it is, what it was that you really wanted to do, yeah, yeah.
27:14
Heather: I had been taking yoga after work when I was in corporate.
27:19
Heather: So this was like for a year I had been taking yoga after work as trying to give myself some headspace to figure out what I did want, you know, and like people say, you just quit, just like that.
27:31
Heather: And on the outside it looks like that, but on the inside people don't know the process is going on on the inside when you're working through that.
27:39
Heather: So I've been going to yoga after work and one day I was rushing to yoga and I live in Toronto and I was going through a very busy intersection.
27:52
Heather: I was driving and there was a pedestrian in front of me and I was like cursing, what are you doing in the road?
27:59
Heather: Why are you trying to get killed, you know?
28:02
Heather: And I looked up and my light was red and her light was green and I had no idea that I was driving through a red light.
28:10
Heather: I'm amazed I didn't die, because it's not, it's not, it's not a calm intersection and on the best of days, and I got to yoga and I told my teacher I was still in shock, I'm like.
28:23
Heather: And I got to yoga and I told my teacher and I was still in shock, I'm like, how did I not kill anyone?
28:26
Heather: And she said oh, that's interesting.
28:29
Heather: She said what do you suppose that's all about?
28:31
Heather: And that's kind of all.
28:33
Heather: She said so the whole yoga class.
28:37
Heather: I'm thinking about this.
28:38
Heather: I'm thinking I was rushing.
28:39
Heather: I was hurrying to try to get somewhere so I could relax.
28:43
Heather: I'm like well that doesn't seem right.
28:49
Heather: First of all, and why can't I be in that state on a regular basis?
28:53
Heather: What about work?
28:54
Heather: Is doing that?
28:55
Heather: So that work?
28:56
Heather: Will I ever be able to do that in that work?
28:58
Heather: No, I don't think I can.
29:00
Heather: I know there's people who love it, so I need to take myself out of that.
29:05
Heather: And because I was really into yoga, I decided, well, I'll go to India and I'll just go where yoga comes from and I'll travel around.
29:14
Heather: So that was really the extent of my plan.
29:17
Heather: And, interestingly, one of the people that I had been studying yoga with I didn't know this person, I'd only known this person for about six months Lived in a different place, he lived in Kitchener, I lived in Toronto, he worked for the YMCA, I was a corporate person.
29:38
Heather: But one day he told me he had been to India.
29:40
Heather: So I said, oh, can I have coffee with you and ask you about your trip to India, because I wanted to do a little bit of you know where am.
29:47
Heather: I going, yeah and um, he brought.
29:50
Heather: This was back in the day when people develop photos.
29:52
Heather: He brought a photo album.
29:53
Heather: People don't do that anymore.
29:55
Heather: I don't get it no but he brought pictures for me and I was asking him questions and he said to me I said oh well, oh well, and he said you know what are your plans?
30:04
Heather: I said well, I'm, and this was in like June I think, and in October I had planned to go to, actually, when in September I was going to go to India.
30:14
Cassandra: He said oh that's so interesting.
30:16
Heather: He said I'm actually quitting my job and I'm going back to India.
30:19
Heather: And I just went what I wow?
30:23
Heather: I knew this fellow.
30:24
Heather: I just went to coffee with him because I wanted to ask him questions.
30:26
Heather: So we ended up going together and we traveled around and 20 years later we're still together.
30:32
Heather: You married him.
30:35
Heather: Yeah, this was not my plan.
30:41
Heather: This was not my plan, but it was so interesting that it was just like the universe just said oh, I'll just send them off to india together and if they can get through that, they'll be fine, because it's a challenging place to travel oh, what a great story I love that yeah.
31:06
Heather: So if you let the magic happen and you don't fight against it and you don't argue against it, then the magic can happen.
31:16
Heather: I think it's our resistance to how we think things should be, to how we think things should be, like if I thought, no, I should be a vice president and I should make six figures and I should have this.
31:32
Cassandra: I should all huh.
31:34
Heather: Yeah, I should all over myself.
31:36
Cassandra: That's right.
31:37
Heather: Because I said, well, this isn't how I want to live my life right now, so what then?
31:41
Heather: I just opened I want to live my life right now, so what Then?
31:43
Heather: I just opened myself up to what is the possibilities of the options, and it can be super scary, I understand, to leave your job and not have a plan.
31:58
Cassandra: Right.
31:59
Heather: What.
32:00
Cassandra: You don't have a plan.
32:01
Heather: Now, when I came back because I came back I promised my grandmother I would come back for Christmas.
32:06
Heather: So I came back for Christmas and when I came back I knew what I wanted to do, because I had had that time to just not think about anything.
32:17
Heather: So I actually went back to school for two years and I became a registered massage therapist.
32:23
Heather: Went back to school for two years and I became a registered massage therapist.
32:27
Heather: Here it takes two years of school and very intense studying of, because it's a medical professional here.
32:31
Heather: Um and exams.
32:34
Heather: You know board exams and I was a massage therapist for 14 years and you're in.
32:39
Heather: Canada.
32:41
Cassandra: I'm in Canada, yesada, yes, oh my gosh well, that's interesting because you said this is what you said.
32:47
Cassandra: You said that if you stand up and take charge of your life, what will happen?
32:53
Cassandra: And you said whatever will happen, you may not like when you stand up.
33:00
Cassandra: What did you mean?
33:01
Cassandra: Maybe because you stood up, now you took charge, and what?
33:07
Heather: yes, some of the stuff I didn't like, some of the stuff I didn't like some of the reaction, some of the reactions people had, some of the people that I thought were my friends.
33:17
Heather: We were not prepared to go with me on that trip.
33:21
Heather: I'm not saying it was easy to sell my house and downsize to a one bedroom apartment.
33:30
Heather: I'm not saying that the whole thing was easy, but at the time I felt like the option was harder Staying somewhere where I was so stressed and feeling like I felt like there was a big vacuum sucking the life out of me.
33:50
Heather: You know, like fluorescent lightings I don't know if you saw was it Joe on the mountain or something the fluorescent lights pulling this life out of his eyeballs.
33:59
Heather: So I felt like it's.
34:03
Heather: It's like when you start anything, the beginning's never easy because you're learning.
34:08
Heather: You're learning how you're going to navigate something new, even when you change jobs, even if you're in the same profession.
34:13
Heather: When you change jobs, it takes you at least three months to figure out how that job's going to work, who to talk to, how to navigate this, where's the bathroom, where's the printer, like all of these things.
34:26
Heather: And we're okay when we change jobs, but we won't allow that when we want to change our lives.
34:32
Heather: We want it to be fine instantly.
34:34
Heather: We want it to be like TV.
34:36
Heather: You know, prince Charming kissed me and we lived happily ever after.
34:40
Cassandra: Exactly, exactly, and I love it when you talked about how you use a GPS for to find direction.
34:47
Cassandra: But what about your personal life, right, well?
34:50
Heather: yeah, yeah, I mean we.
34:54
Heather: I mean you could ask chat GPT.
34:56
Heather: I have someone someone who I know who asked chat, chat GPT.
35:00
Heather: You know, it's almost like they're using it as their psychologist.
35:04
Heather: But it's just going to take information off the internet and sprinkle you with whatever it can find, but if, but, you've already got your own inner GPS.
35:14
Heather: You're just not listening to it.
35:16
Cassandra: Right.
35:16
Cassandra: So you have to like yourself, get quiet, right the quiet is the best.
35:21
Heather: Yeah, get all that other stuff and just come home to yourself, and I know people can't run off to India for three months or, wherever, to Bali for three months to quiet their mind.
35:33
Heather: Yeah, that was just kind of my approach, because when I decide to do something, as my husband says, you just kind of dive right into it yeah, I'll wait and wait and wait, and then when I decide to do it, I'm in Wow.
35:50
Heather: Apparently.
35:51
Heather: My mother said I never bothered to crawl when I was a baby.
35:54
Heather: She said you just sat there for a while and then one day you stood up.
35:57
Heather: So it's built in and knowing that like it doesn't work for some people, but they need the headspace.
36:05
Heather: And you know I have a daily meditation practice.
36:09
Heather: But there are people who resist saying the I can't meditate, which I don't totally agree with.
36:16
Heather: But instead of arguing, I just say okay, then don't, but five to ten minutes a day, I want you to sit and stare out the window and daydream.
36:26
Heather: that's all because if you think about the two parts of your brain.
36:32
Heather: So there's your logical problem solving brain, which is a very handy thing to have.
36:37
Heather: It has tasks, it solves the problems and it takes actions right then you have your creative side of your brain, which is um, dreamy and inventive and makes connections that aren't necessarily logical.
36:54
Heather: And it's just so creative that if we're always in the task brain, you can't let your creativity that's true, and your, like, your ability to daydream is on the creative side so by turning off the task brain and just giving it like a coffee break, give it a coffee break and let yourself daydream and not think about anything.
37:17
Heather: In particular, that's when connections come, that's when problems get solved, that's when ideas come, that's why people get ideas in the shower, because they're not necessarily thinking about anything yeah so, instead of telling people to meditate, I just asked them to look at a tree for 10 minutes and daydream about nothing, in particular because it gives them some of that headspace.
37:38
Heather: They need to be able to recognize the things they like and you know, that's also where your higher self will be able to recognize the things they like, and that's also where your higher self will be able to come in and talk to you and maybe give you solutions that you hadn't even thought of.
37:51
Cassandra: I love that, heather, I'm going to intentionally start doing that.
37:56
Cassandra: This is that overachiever that I didn't really think that I was.
38:01
Cassandra: And I like, like you talked about the brain, the creativity, the, the, the, the logic, and I'm like, okay, I got to do this, I got to do that, got to do this, got to do that.
38:10
Cassandra: And I'm like, well, when do I turn it off?
38:13
Cassandra: I turn it off because when I go to bed cause I'm so tired, I just fall asleep.
38:17
Cassandra: But it's, it's kind of like give yourself some grace.
38:21
Cassandra: Kind of like give yourself some grace, you know, yeah, yeah, like love yourself.
38:26
Heather: Athletes take rest days, right, yeah, people who use their body take rest days.
38:35
Heather: But we people who are very thinkers, doers, we never give ourselves a rest day.
38:39
Heather: And some people, like you, might rest when you go to bed.
38:42
Heather: Some, because I have this habit of thinking, some nights I can't go to sleep because my brain is still working.
38:49
Heather: I'm like you got time to go on break, so I actually have to do a breath practice or some kind of meditation or something while I'm in bed so I can go to sleep.
39:00
Cassandra: Calm yourself down.
39:01
Cassandra: That's good.
39:02
Cassandra: That's good.
39:02
Cassandra: I I like to like to we were talking before you to action that you have for the listeners.
39:11
Cassandra: I've been through it, love it, haven't?
39:30
Cassandra: You may see my name come up?
39:32
Cassandra: Oh, cassandra, was you know?
39:34
Cassandra: And and it's I like it because it's a link to help you move closer to your best life and that's that's I'm the creative living your best life on your terms.
39:46
Cassandra: I love that and I'd like to be beautiful.
39:49
Cassandra: Yes, and I want you to share a little bit about that, because in the show notes I'm going to put the link in the show notes and let's kind of not entice, but to inspire people to really want to go in that link and start get closer to what their best life is.
40:09
Heather: Right.
40:10
Heather: So this is our thriving life map and it gives you kind of the structure of that thriving life that become and it takes you through a series of prompts.
40:24
Heather: There's a little workbook to download, like nothing major.
40:27
Heather: Don't let it go to your PDF graveyard.
40:30
Heather: That's what I always tell people Don't let it go to your PDF graveyard.
40:34
Heather: I encourage people.
40:35
Heather: If you download it, print it out.
40:37
Heather: I love having the paper, the physicality of the thing to look at, and when it's printed out then I'll do something with it instead of just filing it.
40:48
Cassandra: But what?
40:48
Heather: it's going to do is, and it's going to take you through some, just some ideas like of that harmonizing those six areas.
40:55
Heather: And what I like about it is you don't have to be any particular way, because you can only be your way.
41:04
Heather: So, having that ability, it helps you step back and really look, how am I doing?
41:13
Heather: And you don't have to share this with anybody else.
41:16
Heather: This is, and this isn't a judgment of whether you are good or bad or right or wrong, because none of that is true.
41:23
Heather: It's just a measurement.
41:24
Heather: Where am I right now?
41:25
Heather: Okay, what's working right now?
41:28
Heather: Okay.
41:29
Heather: What's not working right now?
41:30
Heather: Okay and okay.
41:32
Heather: So how am I going to start to shift?
41:34
Heather: So it's just going to take you through those little steps and we can and you hear this all the time at the new year, you know I'm going to do this, I'm going to change my life, but then you don't take an action for for change, for change to happen, you have to realize you want something different.
41:51
Heather: You have to decide what, what you want, and then you have to actually take an action, because people will decide what they want and then they'll forget to actually do anything about it.
42:01
Heather: And then a year later they say, oh, I'm in the same place, I was Well.
42:05
Cassandra: I guess I'm a failure.
42:07
Heather: but you're not a failure, you just forgot a step.
42:10
Cassandra: Yeah, wow, that's great.
42:12
Cassandra: Sounds like the wheel of life.
42:15
Heather: And when you take an action, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
42:19
Heather: That doesn't mean you're a failure either, that's just like feedback oh, that one didn't work.
42:23
Heather: Okay, I'll try this.
42:24
Heather: So you imagine inventors like you're inventing your life in a way.
42:30
Heather: So if you imagine inventors when they were trying to invent electricity or invent the telephone or the light bulb I can't remember Thomas Edison did.
42:38
Heather: I can't even remember how many times he had to invent.
42:40
Heather: He did a lot.
42:42
Cassandra: He did a lot.
42:48
Heather: But yet we have light bulbs now, because he said oh, that didn't work, but he kept trying.
42:50
Heather: Yes, so you're allowed as many tries as you want on your life till you find the one that works.
42:56
Cassandra: Exactly.
42:56
Cassandra: If you don't try, that's right.
42:59
Cassandra: But don't give up Right Wow, right Wow.
43:19
Cassandra: So you gave a lot, of you know so.
43:20
Cassandra: So, in other words, when I think about all we've talked about.
43:21
Heather: You have provided some tools, even some testimonies, I say about your life, on how you're going to be the CEO in your work, is your life right, exactly exactly.
43:25
Cassandra: And we're not just here to be here.
43:27
Cassandra: We all have something we are doing to do something, and I'm just hopeful that many of my listeners will share this podcast.
43:36
Cassandra: They will get in touch with you.
43:39
Cassandra: I'm going to ask you for your how they can get in contact with you, even though you got a lot of places where they can get in contact with you, even though you got a lot um places where they can get in touch with you.
43:48
Cassandra: But if, if I, when I really get out of this, I love the part the chief executive officer of your work.
43:55
Cassandra: You are responsible for you and, as we talked earlier, we talked about what you can control and you were like, well, I, well, what you control is your reaction, because life's going to throw you a lot of stuff.
44:10
Cassandra: So I really like these individuals, my listeners, and remember, you are the CEO of your work and, heather, thank you so much.
44:22
Cassandra: I don't know if you have any more wisdom that you could share with my listeners, because some of them are stuck and a lot of them don't like what they're doing, but they're like so what am I going to do.
44:34
Cassandra: You know, they can be Heather Stewart, or just be true to themselves and figure this thing out, because when you're open and you're ready, that's when the teachers appear.
44:44
Heather: Right, don't necessarily jump off of my cliff, because that was my cliff, that's right.
44:50
Heather: And the best way for you to.
44:55
Heather: When you're stuck, the best thing to do is start with one tiny thing that feels like it's safe for you to do and you can start to see the see the ripple through your life.
45:11
Heather: Sometimes I just say to people get eight hours of sleep a night, it'll make, it'll change your life right, that's true.
45:18
Heather: So you know, if that's a place to start, be okay with that.
45:21
Heather: We are not in the fast and the furious.
45:23
Heather: We are taking our time right, because if I want my life to be the way I want it, I don't want to rush.
45:31
Heather: I don't want to rush my decisions, but I want them, but I don't want to also not make a decision right and, as they say, the race is not given to the swift, but for those who endure.
45:47
Heather: And I always say what are you in such a rush for?
45:48
Heather: You know where the finish line is right.
45:59
Cassandra: Yeah right, Absolutely, Absolutely Well.
46:00
Cassandra: Heather, thank you so much for being a guest on my show.
46:01
Cassandra: I really enjoyed it and my listeners.
46:02
Cassandra: And tell my listeners where they can contact you, although it's going to be in the show notes, but the easiest, easiest place to find everything is heatherstewartcoach, because everything is up there.
46:15
Cassandra: Okay, great, great.
46:16
Cassandra: Thank you again, my listeners, please share this with individuals where you know this will be a blessing and also know that this podcast will be on all podcast platforms.
46:29
Cassandra: And again, heather, thanks for your wisdom and thank you so much for being my guest, my listeners.
46:36
Cassandra: As I always say, god bless you and bye for now.
46:39
Cassandra: Thank you again, heather.
46:42
Heather: Thank you Bye.