Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / The Price of Freedom | a conversation with Kelli Campbell

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The Price of Freedom | a conversation with Kelli Campbell · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_02: Hi friends, welcome to the Simply Wholehearted Podcast.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_02: I'm Amy Wicks, your host, as well as our good friend Ashley Pittman.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_02: This week we are back again for another special episode, this time to honor those who have served our country in the greatest way.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_02: And this is just in time for the Memorial Weekend.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_02: Here at Simply Wholehearted, we are sharing our journey as we discover how to better love the Lord with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_02: We hope to inspire you by inviting our friends to share their ideas of how they live unplugged, purposeful, and intentional in their everyday.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_02: Well, Memorial Weekend traditionally kicks off the beginning of summer here in the US.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_02: Pools are open for business, we fire up our girls, and some of us get a long weekend to celebrate.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_02: But what are we celebrating?
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_02: Freedom isn't free, and the cost has been generations of lives laid down in service to our country for you and I to enjoy the amazing liberties we experience on a daily basis here in America.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_02: And I think one of the best ways to honor those who paid the ultimate sacrifice is to hear their stories and support the families of our fallen heroes.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_02: Kelly Campbell and I met not long ago through a close friend, but I had already been following her story through Instagram.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_02: It's one of those that make you squeeze the ones you love a little tighter.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_02: From the moment I met her, I knew I had found a kindred spirit.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_02: Kelly is truly radiant with the love of Jesus, and despite the loss she and her four kids have endured, she again and again points to the miracles she has witnessed on an ongoing basis.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_02: I was so grateful when Kelly was willing to share the inspiring legacy of her husband John.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_02: There are truly some amazing stories that not many know, and I believe once you hear them, you won't be the same.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_02: She and her family have also been profoundly affected by the generosity of Folds of Honor.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_02: Kelly shares how Folds of Honor fits into their journey and helps them find a new normal.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so grateful we get to share about the incredible work they do.
• 2:00
  unknown: Okay.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_02: We're all all tired because of the tornado.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_02: Tornadoes.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_02: Was it was it was there ever a tornado or was it wimbers?
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_02: There was.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_03: Is that what was over here?
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it would have come through here.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_03: I think it it was just south of us.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_03: That's where it hit the power lines and then Loch Lloyd area and Raytown Road.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, so there was an actual tornado road.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_03: Isn't that Sarah's Road?
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_03: A tree fell through a house.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_03: Oh well.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, thankfully everyone was okay.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_02: But oh my goodness.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_02: Crazy.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_02: I should have texted our people.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't know if there was ever an actual tornado, if it was just like conditions were right for one.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: So there was.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there were.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_02: I was thinking out there.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_02: I was well, you know, because suburbia, it usually feels like it.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know if it's like the houses or what it is.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_02: Like it breaks it up enough usually.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_03: I know I feel kind of cocooned in my neighborhood.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_02: Like, yeah, it's not gonna come back here.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_02: But right never know.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_02: The winds.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_02: I always think about the trees in the back of the house more than I think about anything else.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_02: That's what I'm most there were a lot of big lamps down this morning.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, there were our street, even had a couple of trees kind of blocking most of it and stuff.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_02: And the kids were like, Oh, look, mom, oh look.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_02: It was like we've been listening to a book on see an audio book, and so the girls were like hushing miles, like, be quiet, stop talking about it.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's amazing, it was all that was going on while I was in the basement and couldn't hear a thing.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: You couldn't hear it.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_02: Like, there's even nothing's going on out there.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_02: I do envy you're all semi-finished or finished basements in these moments because yeah, it really has to be.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_03: It was really nice, it was helpful.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_03: Although we had the washer going, and at one point it started to drain, and Donovan stood up and said, I hear the water coming.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_03: And he thought the water was coming through the ceiling.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_02: It was cute.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_02: Did you no, you only got to meet her girls, but Donovan, you need to look on Instagram because that boy's eyes owe my lands.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_02: He has something else.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_02: He is, he's precious.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and he's just got the cutest little boys.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_02: And I was over there the other night and he was having a lot of fun just showing off and being in our mix.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_02: It was like we tried to like have a girl's night, but the kids were there.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_02: Because we wanted to allow the girls to get together.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_02: Gotcha.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_02: There's lots of performing going on.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: I bet.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_02: There was a ton of performing.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_02: It was really funny.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: I bet by all of them, probably.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, it was.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_02: It was.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_02: Which I yeah, and it was I was thinking of that because we had some friends last weekend and just a young couple and well, actually, they're yeah, a young married couple, but um, they the kids were showing off for eight hours straight to the point where I was like, I can't even tell this, you know, like they act like they've never been around people before.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: So they want to show them everything.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: Someone else to look at our tricks.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: The parents are tired of these tricks, but fresh meat.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_02: I know captive audience.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_02: It was, it was like, I was like, why is this bothering me so badly?
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_02: And like I just think because they're just acting so I don't know, it was just out of that, like, you know, you're making me uncomfortable, and you're but you're kind of funny, and you're sort of acting out and not really being respectful, and you're obeying nothing I say, so I look like a terrible parent who has no control over your children.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_02: Totally, right?
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_02: So all of those things were running through my mind.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, and they're all at my kids.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: I was thinking about this.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: Major boys are at that age where they think they're funny, but they're not funny, and so it's like a constant comedy routine.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_01: No, it's not cute anymore, and it's more kind of like, okay, I see what you're trying to do here, but could you not?
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_03: It's not working.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: Could you not?
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: So I try to just deal with it, but yeah, I think it's just a boy thing.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it maybe baby girls too.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: I may have gone through.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_02: How old are you, kiddos again?
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_02: Because we have Tristan.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_03: Tristan is 14, Kenna is 11, Kate is nine, and Donovan's four.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, yeah.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, so you've been through that phase.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: Assuming that he had a phase like that, or maybe in that phase, I don't know.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_03: Tristan never went really went through that phase.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, he was never awkward.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_03: Silly.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_03: He's not silly.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_03: That's he is a thought more serious.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he's a five.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: He is the serious.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, well, that makes a difference too, I think, a little bit.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, maybe.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_02: And he's a mature kid.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, obviously, life's a bit of a big thing.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but even before.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_03: Girls and Donman, totally different story.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: So uh she you're into the Enneagram because you just said he was a five.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I know.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_03: And so I always love listening to you, and then like when you're talking about it, yes.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'm still figuring it out.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: That's fun.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: I've got a pretty serious five wing.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's a wing, though.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's just a wing.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, she slides into it pretty easily though, or uses it.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_02: And it's actually one of the reasons why I appreciate her and her friendship because I know if we're gonna talk about something, she's really like researched.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_02: She knows she knows all the different like the articles or facts to start.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_02: If it's something I care about, not across the board.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_02: But this is true.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: I like best friends because I'm not a researcher and so much.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I have to do it.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: If they ask me a question, I'll say I don't know, but I'll be right back in about a week.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: We can all dive deep into that.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, exactly.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, it's it's really fun.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_02: So I think you're you're like Bible study, Wednesday morning Bible study.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_03: We have been doing that.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we have a little book club with someone.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_03: I know.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_02: The road back that's what we're doing right now.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_02: That's fun.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_02: So good.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_02: It's so fun.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_02: It's a book I just got from the library.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_01: The follow-up to whatever that is, the roadback to something between us path.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, is that a relationship by Susan Smith, who's co-authored right to you.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_03: Has the greatest voice.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_03: I love listening to him on their podcast.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: Have you listened to her podcast?
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like the one that she does, just her own.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, she has her own.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, yes.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't have a that's the one I listened to to where I got really mad because there was this eight therapist, and she's like, fours are like the worst to work with ever.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, and you're a four.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like, that's so weird.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: That's so rude.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: I was totally about to write an email.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: You have to tell her she can't say that to people because all the fours are quitting therapy right now.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: So what would what are you?
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: Nine.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, you are very nine.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_02: It's a great L T V.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, everything is a good thing.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_02: They're all great.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_02: I think you wear a nine well.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_02: That's good to know.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_02: What are some of the things that you're like, oh, I don't like that about the nine or did you did you wrestle with it when you figured it out?
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_03: No, that as soon as I read that chapter, I was like, oh, that's me.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_03: That's me for sure.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_03: Then I took the test and yeah, it was me.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_03: So I recognized myself right away.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_03: What's amazing?
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_03: That means you so I think it's because I read that maybe one of the first ones.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_03: I knew from a general idea, I was either a nine or six.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_03: And so then right away I was like, okay, I think nine.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_03: But now as I'm reading the other chapters, every single one I'm relating to.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, oh, maybe I could be this.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_03: But that that's nine questions.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm like, oh, that means I have a nine because I relate to every single one of these.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_03: I get it.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_03: I get them all.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, that's awesome.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_03: It's a little overwhelming.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_02: No, it's gotta be overwhelming.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_02: I do, I still struggle with sometimes, especially when I'm reading Susan's newest book, because um her picture of relationships in particular, I am like, I don't identify with the three.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_02: I identify with the three in so much, and so it's kind of wondering like, I'm like, okay, now I want to know with the wings, if how those influence maybe in just certain arenas of your life, that maybe my two wing just has really gotten strong within my relationships, and that's more how I think or approach them than as a three, which is I don't know.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_02: I haven't I'm still like, you know.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_02: Have you looked at subtypes?
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_02: Does she get into that?
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_02: Or did she doesn't?
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_02: She's she's a lot more basic.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_02: But I've wanted to yeah, I know.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_02: I think I just learned about that yesterday.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: I was listening to Ian Morgan Cron on Jen Hatmaker's podcast, and he was like, he was talking about subtypes, and because he was he because she's a three, but he was trying to say maybe she's actually an eight with a seven wing, and she was like, Wait, what?
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_01: And he said, Well, you need to look at the subtypes, and then he mentioned that he's like a subtype for a social for subtype, and I was like, Oh, what?
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_01: And so I looked it up and I was like, That's me.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, or there's like three or four different subtypes under maybe each one.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_02: Goodness.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my goodness.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_02: It's mind blowing.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_01: It goes so deep.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: It's like there's like roots, and then they just go everywhere.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: So they do like you could really you can't.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_02: Finally, your friends get it, you need to just stop reading about it.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_02: But I want to.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_02: But I can't.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_02: But I get to, yeah, because um anyway, I've been doing that an adriam coach, and I've actually had to pause the the actual training logistics part of it because she had recommended a lot of reading, and so I started reading some of that, and that's really all I have time for currently, which is a ton of fun, and I can apply it to my personal life, so I feel like you know it's a win-win.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so anyway, I've been so you fit did did you have Tristan go through?
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_03: No, I think I've just figured them out.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, so I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean has some of the clo classic responses.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_02: Um, Susan would say you can't type your kids, but you can determine their stances, and I think the stances in particular, I mean a five, I especially like the five is like a real clear stance, you know, in particular, that as well.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's why I think that stands out.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you can just see it.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_02: Has the have the girls expressed any interest?
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_05: No, not at all.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_02: Mine are like, what do you think about this?
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_02: Who do you think is this?
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_02: And do you think this person's that, and all that sort of stuff, which is really funny.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, well, this is how you, you know, like you gotta ask yourself these questions, and anyway.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, I'm not gonna put a number on you, but you, you know, you know, we talked through it, and then I said, I think this is what you and this is why, and but it is it has helped me like help them negotiate through things and give each other perspective because I'm pretty confident of their type, and then it's just like if okay, if they're looking through that lens, then this is how they're gonna perceive.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_02: And anyway, it's a lot of fun.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_02: So that's gonna be kind of my summer project, I think, with them going through that.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_02: It's fun.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_02: I just wanted to pop in here because obviously the three of us are fascinated with the Enneagram, and not because it's our way to wholeness, only Jesus can do that, but because it can help us thrive in our understanding of why we do what we do and why we interact with the world around us, like we do.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_02: So if you haven't yet listened to episodes 37 and 38 with Beth McCord, those can be most helpful as you discover some more of the basics about the Enneagram.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_02: Be sure and check out all that she offers at youraneagramcoach.com and find a discount code for her introductory programs in the show notes.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_02: Now back to our stirring conversation with Kelly Campbell.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_02: So I um I don't think I've told um Ashley how I actually got connected with you and met you.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_02: Um but the first time I stumbled across your Instagram account um was actually little over two years ago.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_02: And I think pretty um it was pretty recent after the accident, obviously.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_02: But um for some reason Sarah shared a little snippet of your story or like tagged you.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe it was because she was um using some of your sister's photography for her daily adoration.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_02: And then for some reason tied your story into it, and it was intriguing enough, and I could tell that it really like mattered to Sarah's heart, and I was like, So, and then I was like, I felt like one of those weird people, and I kind of like looked through your Instagram and I remember like crying and because it just it was so in right.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_02: But you want to kind of take us back about it's been about two and a half years, not quite.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_02: Right, right.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_03: Well, yeah, and that might be clearer to you.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_03: I guess we met then when you brought brought a meal to my house when you first moved to town.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_03: And would that have been at my parents' house or at my house?
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_03: Um it was at your new house.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_03: So that was after so it was a while after that.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we actually met about a year later.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_03: So um yeah, so I I guess you would have stumbled on my Instagram if just after that would have been late winter of 2016.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_03: Um Sean, my husband, was killed in a helicopter crash in Hawaii where we lived.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_03: Um he was a Marine Corps pilot.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_03: And um it was a terrible crash.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_03: Two helicopters um 12 Marines were killed.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_02: And um great loss on one of those random accidents, right?
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it was a uh middle of the night flight.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_03: They were training, um, they were out over the ocean.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_03: And so um so it wasn't immediate, you know, the process was long.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_03: There was um we were notified, and then there was a five-day search.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and it was really uh, you know, that looking back is beautiful to see how the community um just came together for you know, between the Marines and the civilians, every branch of the services on that island, and they were all out searching.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_03: Um civilians were on the beaches, you know.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_03: Um so I can look at that now and see a lot of beauty in that.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um and but those five days, I mean, that's kind of it's it's dragged the process probably.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I mean it's a blur now.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_03: I can't I can't differentiate you know, it's just one long moment really now.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_03: Um but yeah, you know, it was it was there was a week.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_03: But but I see so much grace in that now because that during that week um, you know, when the Marines came to my door, it wasn't with the final word and I was alone with my kids.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_03: And so I I see now that um you know, when that moment did finally come five days later, I had all my family had flown across the ocean and friends had come from the mainland and you know, our whole community there on the island was around us, and so our house was full of people and we just we were protected and surrounded, and so you know, all my kids were in somebody's lap, and I just I see now how God used that uh to uh just bring us so much peace through that that awful moment.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_03: Um and so I'm you know strangely, I don't know, I'm thankful now, I guess, um just that we got to see so much of his faithfulness through that awful week um and beyond, you know.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_03: And then as you know, we came here and that's how I met you because people continued to to care for us and take care of us throughout the whole process, which uh is still ongoing, really.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_03: You know, it's just a lifelong thing when you have young kids and they're always gonna be working through it.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_02: So absolutely, yeah.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_02: It's not something that just you know, you know, yeah, yeah, far enough away from it.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_03: It's right.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_03: Grief just it it is a part of us now, you know.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_03: That loss is a part of us now, it's not something we are working to get over because you don't, and so it's just something we're learning to live with, I guess.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_03: How does it feel like that?
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_02: That's a good way to put it, like learning to live with it.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, and then how do you go?
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_02: How do you live right?
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_02: So you so you were in Hawaii, obviously.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_02: Um family is far away, but they came.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um, what was just some of that process?
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_02: Because I know you know that was a big step too, to like choose to start over and um in a way, um out here in the middle of Kansas.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_03: We are very landlocked, as my son says.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_03: We've been on beaches our whole life, you know.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_03: Um yeah, well that decision was it was kind of made for me.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and I'm glad I mean in a good way.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_03: Though Sean and I didn't talk about what ifs really, we didn't want to live in fear, so you know there's a there's a line between making plans and living in fear.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_03: And so we had a few plans, but um, you know, the one thing we had talked about and um and it was actually we had talked about it there in Hawaii, I guess, just a few months before.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_03: Um but not really in depth, it was just a short conversation.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know, I even remember, but um you know, we knew that if something ever happened to him and the kids and I, you know, had to leave or or had to do something, we would go to my parents' house here in Kansas and just stay with them and figure it out.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_03: You know, we wouldn't have to know anything beyond that.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_03: We just knew that that would be our safe place.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_03: And um and so you know, I grew up in Texas and my parents had moved here, you know, 10, 12 years ago, and so we had visited and we knew our kids were comfortable, it would be familiar, and my parents had space and um you know, just all around.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_03: We knew that would be a starting point and and not necessarily that we would live here, but right that's where we would go.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_03: You know, that would be our tornado shelter, right?
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_03: Like last night.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_02: Totally, yeah.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and so and you know, there we were in Hawaii, our rent was astronomical and can't imagine, yeah.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_03: You know, yeah, and and I think some people were worried that I had quickly left because the Marines weren't taking care of us or or they were kicking us out of our house or you know um, but we lived off base, um, and so we paid we just we paid a lot in rent.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, and I knew I couldn't stay, I didn't want to leave, but I knew I couldn't stay, and so and my kids were homeschooled, and so just the longer we stayed, the longer I was dragging out that whole process of saying goodbye and figuring things out, and and it was hard because you had a really wonderful community.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_03: We did, yeah, yeah.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_03: And I certainly didn't want to leave.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_03: Um and uh you know, a lot of our community was local, but uh again, a lot of it was military, and so they would eventually leave too.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_03: And so it's not you know, when a military family goes through this, it's not like they're in a rooted community they can stay.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe some some are, but um it's it was never meant to be permanent.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_03: And so at that point without Sean, like there was no reason to stay.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_03: Um and so I knew we had to go to my parents and then just figure it out.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_03: And so we left.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_03: Actually, you know, they were still um salvaging, you know, searching the water for wreckage and investigating what happened, and that was really hard to leave before before Sean was found.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_03: Um and so yeah, and still sometimes I I wonder, you know, like why, why Lord, did we have to go?
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_03: But um but you know, I just I see the timing in every little thing and how we were cared for and how we came here to Kansas.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_03: I was completely lost.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_03: Um I was a homeschooling mom without her home and and didn't know what to do or how to start again.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_03: And the crash happened actually on the day that we were supposed to start our new semester of homeschool.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_03: And so the kids had been out of school since before the holidays, and so I can remember clearly this Monday in March when I kind of started to panic and think, I they've got to do something.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_03: We have to do something.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_03: Three months, it's been so long, they're not doing anything, and they need routine, and but here I am just in the fog, and so I took them to the library and we got like 30 books, and we came home, and I'm sitting there on my you know, my mom's living room floor with all these books and the kids, and and just I can remember clearly praying in my head for help.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_03: And I kid you not, it was that day, it was that afternoon.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_03: My mom, you know, I was still in the living room, so it was not much later.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_03: My mom walked into the room and said, I just got this phone call from the school.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_03: And she just had like this look on her face, like, you won't believe this.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_03: And um Whitfield Academy here in Kansas City had called um because a friend of mine, a Maureen's wife, out of state, knew, you know, or at least had an idea of maybe what I was going through, and and thought, I I just want to see if she has some options.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_03: And um and so she called this school and she found them, and and of course they were like, Yeah, what can we do?
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_03: And they opened their arms to the school that went and directing your line of exactly how you had been teaching your kids.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so this friend, you know, she knew how we homeschooled, and so we were classical Christian homeschoolers, and she found this classical Christian school, and it was just the best possible thing.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, there's it made the transition so great, but what's important.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_03: Amazing is it was you know, here it was March, and they offered for the kids to come tuition free and just finish the year.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_03: And they said, you know, we won't give them grades, we'll evaluate them and figure out where to put them, but you know, there's gonna be no pressure to catch up or anything, just just bring them so they can have a routine and be loved on, you know.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_03: And uh, and so I'm thinking this is perfect and amazing, but how do I pay for this later?
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_03: You know, got this part of next year.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, what about next year?
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_03: And I I couldn't hand them that and have them love it only to say, okay, that's it.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_03: That's right.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_03: Now we gotta find something else.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but the same day, the same day that she found the school, my friend found Folds of Honor, um, which is a um organization that gives scholarships to spouses and children of fallen or disabled service members.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_03: And so it happened to be, um, happened to be, you know, happened, right?
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, God, it was um application season that month.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_03: And so here I had this school in one hand and I had this possibility for for paying for it the next year in the other.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_03: And so my friend helped me get the applications in, and I took the kids to school, and I just, you know, I didn't know for sure they would get scholarships, but I just felt like I just prayed for help and God handed me this.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_03: How can I not?
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, it was so clearly an answer.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and so sure enough, we have not looked back, they've been in school ever since, and they love it, and I love it.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_03: It's been our family.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_03: And so somewhere in that mix, I met you because um Sarah's community came and I think brought us meals after we moved.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_02: We remember that person I told you about, and and then I found out oh, not only are you moving, you're like moving across the street, right?
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_02: Right, so close.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and so yeah, I mean, I I just remember too, like I think I pulled up your parents were there and stuff, so it was a real brief interaction.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_02: But it was enough to determine, oh yeah, we do have girls around the same age.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_02: Um I can't really remember, it was just kind of from there.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_02: We're like, well, goodness, we live so close, we should you know, hang out sometime.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_02: And I think I'm I'm pretty sure I met your youngest and saw his adorable eyes, and I'm like, oh my god, it was just like but just the sweetness, like you know, it just Kelly just brings I you know the presence of the Holy Spirit, I think, with her, and there was like an immediate connection.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_03: She did just tell what a what's my friend.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's exactly what I thought it was.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, absolutely.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so you guys have been um in the Kansas area how long?
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_03: So that was um well, we got here in February of 2016.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, and so we moved into our house that next fall after once the kids were in school and I knew they were gonna stay.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_03: That was like my anchor, and I knew okay, I'm gonna stay here.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_03: Um, because I could have moved to live near any one of my siblings or um you know communities we've been before.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we could have stayed in their house, you know, it's not like that wasn't great.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_03: Um, because it was they're wonderful and we get along and you know, um, but I just knew there was just something I don't know, you know, I'd been marine wife and mom for 15 years in my own home, and all our things were in storage, and it just felt like I you know I needed to give my kids that space.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_03: And so yeah, so here we are.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_02: So your kids um obviously enjoyed their first like uh half half a last semester at the school.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_02: Right, yeah, it's just a couple months.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_02: Folds of honor came through.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_02: When did you figure out like how long did that process take and what was that like?
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_03: So um that's been a neat journey too.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_03: They we applied that month and they were awarded that June.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_03: And so so that was when I fully enrolled them, you know, confidently knowing I had some help.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_03: And um, and then it was a couple months later, as school was starting, a new friend we'd met at school invited us to this 5K run in our neighborhood.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_03: And um, and at first she said, I think it's benefiting the mil the military or something, and I'll look it up and let you know.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_03: And then she sent me this email and it said it was for folds of honor.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_03: And I was like, uh, hang on.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_03: That's amazing.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_03: I know about this.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_03: Let me tell you about this.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_03: This is why I know you, my friend.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_03: And um, and so I explained to her our connection, and then it just got really exciting, and we, you know, we invited more people from school, and um, and she told the organizer who's on the board um here in Kansas City, and I didn't know there was a local chapter of Folds of Honor, but you know, I really didn't know how the organization was set up at that point.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, this was your friend just finding a resource to help get the next step.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_03: And so, you know, I knew they were great people because I had talked to someone in the home office, and um, you know, it had been amazing, but I really didn't know about it yet.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_03: And so we show up at this run and I meet um a couple of the men that are on the board here, the chapter president, and and they were ex you know, they were just as excited to meet us because they had been doing, you know, doing this for years, supporting Folds of Honor, and there's only a handful of recipients that that they, you know, get to interact with locally.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_03: Sure.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_03: And so um, so it was just it was neat on both sides for me to be able to meet some people and say, Thank you, this is what you're doing, and and these are my new friends at school because of Folds and Um and they got to meet the kids, and so that was really cool.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_03: And then after that, we just kind of stayed in touch and they started inviting us to various, you know, local things going on with Folds, and so I started meeting more and more people um who volunteer there.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_03: Folds is it's mostly volunteer, they have a handful of actual employees, but um they do what they do because of so many volunteers that create these chapters around the country.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_03: And so um, and I remember at one point someone um said, Well, so how are your public speaking skills?
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_03: And I just wanted to crawl under a rock and run away.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_03: You know, nope, nope, not something I do.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_03: I don't do that.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_03: I will I'll come, I'll smile, I'll you know, no.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but you know, God worked on my heart with that for sure because you know that's something I avoided my whole life, getting in front of people and and talking, and you know, I I'm the one person that managed to graduate from college without that public speaking class you're supposed to take.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_03: I came out of it.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_01: That's impressive.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_03: I know.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_03: So um, but you know, when he gives you a story that needs to be told, you just I didn't have a choice.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_03: And not only that, it wasn't even that, but I had prayed.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I can remember specifically like back in May, just a few months after the accident, I was feeling so overwhelmed with help and with gifts and with provision, and just I was I I just I wanted people to know I was thankful.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I didn't want to take it for granted, and I remember praying and not knowing what I was praying for, as we so often do, right?
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_03: But I just I prayed, Lord, help me, help me to say thank you and to be grateful and to show people that we're grateful and to live in that, you know.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_03: And um, and it was you know, a couple days after that that someone approached me and she wanted to write an article for encourage um Kristen Strong.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_03: And um, and she was really hesitant, you know, I know it's early and it's raw, and you know, are you okay talking about this?
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_03: But but I knew right away, like, well, this is this is a chance to say thank you and just just tell like that part of the story, how people have cared for us, and yeah, and then Folts comes along and you know, they want me to speak, but they're giving me a chance to say thank you, and this is what you're doing, and by doing that, all their families get helped, you know.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, um, I get to encourage people to give, which provides more scholarships.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_03: And how can I not, you know, watching my kids, um, how can I not do that?
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_03: So so here I am, not um, I really don't know how I got here still.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean it's beautiful for full circle.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_02: So you had this recipient relationship with Folds of Honor, and then a little bit of a volunteer, and now you're traveling and speaking for them, which is ironic because completely you go from you know, like getting out of your college speaking class to uh I know to doing exactly that in front of big crowds.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's crazy.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_03: And every time I think, what in the world?
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_03: Why am I doing this?
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_03: And but at the end of the day, it's it it's not about me, and and if I remind myself that it then I'm less nervous, and it doesn't even matter.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_03: And you can't mess up your own story, yeah.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_03: You know, so if it helps someone else, then that's true, just tell it, you know.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah, so that's what I'm doing now.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_02: Take a listen.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_02: As Major Dan, who's the founder of Folds of Honor, he shares the moments he first became aware of the needs families might face when a loved one in uniform has fallen or been disabled because of their service to our country.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_00: And one fateful night my life would change forever.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um I was flying from Chicago here to Grand Rapids, Michigan.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_00: It was United Flight 664.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_00: Finally get on this airplane, I walk through first class, and um I see this kid, it catches me off guard because he's a corporal sitting in dress army greens.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I go sit um in coach, and about an hour and a half or so later we land in Grand Rapids, Michigan.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_00: As we pull up to the gate, the captain comes over, the PA, and uh says that we have an American hero on board.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_00: And my mind immediately jumps to this kid in first class, right?
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, what did he do?
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'd just gotten back from uh my second tour duty in Iraq flying the F-16, and um he continues the captain by uh informing us that we are carrying the remains of Corporal Brock Buckland on this flight.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_00: And his identical twin brother, Corporal Brad Bucklin, was in first class and has brought him those 7,000 miles home.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_00: Captain makes another request that everybody stay in their seats until his remains had been removed from the right cargo hold.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_00: And um that night I watched um the other side of war as I looked out on the tarmac, um the bucklings on the darkest night of their lives.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, the thing that really got me though was his uh his four-year-old son.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_00: Sat right below the cargo ramp as that American flag draped coffin inched out.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_00: And the finality of the sacrifice hit me.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um the reality is that this young boy would never play catch with his dad again.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_00: He would never be tucked in at night.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_00: And that term freedom isn't free didn't mean anything until I witnessed that.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_00: And as the ceremony finishes itself up, you know, I wipe away my tears, right, and I grab my backpack and I look back to the airplane only to see that more than half the plane had gotten off.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_00: No place to go, except that blanket of freedom will all sleep under each and every night courtesy of one percent of this country that suits up every day, willing to defend and pay the ultimate sacrifice for the other 99%.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_00: And that was my moment of synchronicity.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_00: I knew with every fiber of my being that God had called me on a mission.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_02: Since 2007, Folds of Honor has awarded over 16,000 educational scholarships in all 50 states.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_02: But there are still so many who need our help, especially from programs like Folds of Honor.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_02: Over 86% of every dollar goes directly to the scholarship program and makes a radical difference in families like Kelly's.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_02: She often gets to share this meaningful impact Folds of Honor has made in their lives, but there is also so much more to Sean's life and legacy, and I wanted to give Kelly the opportunity to share a story about how one man's intentionality changed a family tree.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_02: I remember one of the first times we probably like met at a park and had the kids run around, and I got to hear Sean's story.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_02: And I I just thought, man, this it's not, I mean, his his death is a memorable story, and then the legacy he leaves um is incredible, but his life um is one to tell of too.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_02: That is a story in itself.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_02: So I really wanted to make sure we give an opportunity to share some of those, and um and there's a lot there, so don't feel afraid to share too much because I think all of it's beautiful and touching.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_02: Um because he had quite a life.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_03: He did, he was amazing.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so I you know, I'll tell you the story I I like to tell the most lately is um um about his name and uh because I think that just the the way we started out and and yeah, um so when I met him, we met in college.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_03: Um I actually had kind of knew of him before I was in high school when I first saw him and and our paths kept crossing, but um I didn't realize back in high school.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_03: I was in high school and he was a junior high youth leader at my church.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_03: And so he was just you know that cute boy that helped with junior high, but you know, there was we didn't interact at all.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but then I started at AM and he was, you know, we were both there and we had friends in common, and just our paths kept crossing.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_03: And then um a couple years down the road, I'd been working at this coffee shop, and he had been kind of a regular there.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_03: He was always there studying, and then one day he walks in and he had been hired and he was working there, and so um we worked together for about nine months.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_03: That's fun.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_03: I do this coffee shop.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_02: And um and so after Sounds like a Hallmark movie, all right.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_03: So um we worked together for so long, and you know, that was our social life.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_03: We didn't do anything else but work at school, and so you know, we just got to know each other and got to be good friends, and um it, you know, what was it spring?
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_03: It was spring break, all our friends had gone off on ski trips and you know, fun things, and we were there working over time because we were poor college students.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_03: And so he asked me to go mountain biking one day, and um we rode for a while, and then it I mean it's just the most important thing.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_02: Did you mountain bike before?
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, you didn't like suddenly I was a parks and rec major and I took classes like mountain biking and rock climbing, and Sean was a microbiology major, you know, actually studying.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_03: But he was he was a rock climber, and you know, before um he had been working at the rock climbing wall, and so that's why our paths kept crossing was and things like that.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_03: But um, yeah, he was very adventurous, and he was older than me, and so he had taken time off before starting college.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_03: He had been a rock climbing instructor, and so that's how we ended up graduating at the same time.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, but um yeah, so we went mountain biking and um and it started to rain, or it started to lightning.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_03: There was this beautiful lightning storm going on like on the horizon.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_03: So we stopped by the lake and we're just sitting there talking.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, it couldn't be more perfect, you know, right?
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_03: And so we're talking and talking and watching the lightning, and um, it starts to drizzle a little bit, and we just I just remember and I think we both felt the same thing, like, wait, who is this person?
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_03: Uh the more we talked, the more, you know, we'd already been friends, but we just something clicked, you know.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_03: And um, and we ended up spending like the rest of that week together, we either working or not working, we just we were hanging out all week and talking, and it just happened so fast, and it happened so clearly from the Lord, like this is who I have for you, and um, and so we just knew.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, when you know, you know, and God did you know some things that made it very clear, and and so we were engaged a month later.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_03: Um Wow.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and that was April, and he was about to leave for officer candidate school that summer for 10 weeks, and so we planned our wedding for a week after he got back, so it was just I I know people thought we were crazy, but but you know we just we knew we knew, and God worked it out with the timing too, and with family, and so we just knew, and um and had he always wanted to serve his country in some form or fashion, or always been interested in flying and the military, and you know, yeah, and so um when he went to the Marine Corps and they said, Well, we can give you a flight contract, you know, you just have to get through OCS, then that's how he chose that over like Air Force or something he had been looking at.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_03: He wanted that guaranteed flight spot.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_03: And okay.
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_03: So that's where he was at at that point.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_03: He had contracted with them, he was he he knew where he was headed.
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_03: Um and so um, and that was a big thing.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, you know, we got engaged and I remember him sitting me down with a list of questions pertaining to the military, and you know, he had signed up and now he was asking me to sign up really next to him.
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_03: And he wanted me to know what I was getting into, you know, and I think he would have he would have let me out, but obviously I wasn't going anywhere.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, you don't want to be loud.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah, and at the same time, um, so I he we started dating, and I I knew him by one name, and everyone called him by that name.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_03: It was like his last name was his nickname.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and then you know, I don't know when it was, a week or two later, and he was like, you know, that's not actually my name, right?
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_03: And I was like, What?
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_03: Hold on.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_03: And he showed me his ID, and sure enough, yeah, he actually had a different name.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_03: And um, so he had one name on his birth certificate and his you know legal papers.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_03: That was his birth name.
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_03: Um, that was a father he never knew, and then he had another name that he went by that was a stepfather from when he was young, and um, but he had no family history connection to any name, and you know, he'd never really had a dad, and and so um and he had just lived with that all that time, but then here he was wanting to start a family with me, and he he was like, Oh dear, what do I do?
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_03: Now what?
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_03: What name?
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_03: Um because everyone knows him by this name, but now if we get married, now we have to go by this other name, and and so it was this it you know, this big question, and and I can remember um the day he figured it out, you know, it wasn't much later.
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_03: We actually talked to my mom about it, like what do you do?
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_03: And she said, Well, you can just change your name.
• 39:23
  SPEAKER_03: And we were like, You can do that, just I mean, then what do you do?
• 39:26
  SPEAKER_03: You just pick a name, you know, and but immediately as we were talking about that, it was like a light bulb went off, and he he went, I know what I need to do then.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_03: And he said, I'm gonna take Don Campbell's name.
• 39:38
  SPEAKER_03: And this this amazing man, Don Campbell, had become his friend and mentor um through church while uh while he was a student, and um, and he had become like his dad, and he had, you know, he already saw him that way, and he had been, you know, just a man he looked up to and went to for advice, and they met weekly, and um and he was gonna marry us.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_03: You know, he was actually him and and and his wife Mary were the first people that Sean introduced me to.
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_03: You know, he wanted their approval, and um, and so so it was funny though, because we called them and said, We need to meet with you tomorrow.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_03: It's really important, and but he wouldn't tell them why.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_03: And so they were praying all night.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_03: They were so scared that we had bad news, that we were breaking up, that you know, something was wrong, and they were so worried.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_03: And so at the time he worked it, yeah, yeah, they were, they were so worried, and but we sat down with them in Don's office the next day, and Sean was I remember his shaking voice, and he told Don that he was, you know, he saw him as his dad and asked if he could pick his name.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, like now, there's tears all around, and they were so happy.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_03: Um, it was just like we, you know, we all just exploded in joy, and um there was no hesitation.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_03: And uh and the Campbell's that you know actually had adopted daughters they had raised, and so Sean became their first son, and we went to a judge, and the judge said it was the best case he'd had all day, because you know, right before us there was like a drug dealing athlete or something.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_03: Um and he said, You just made my day, and um, and so so that's how Sean became at Campbell, and you know, it was just God had arranged that and provided that, and then you know, and Sean knew he wanted to give us a name to be proud of, a history, a legacy, and and so we have that now.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_03: Donna Mary are Grams and Pappy and um you know, their family, and we have extended family because of them and cousins, and Sean gained brothers and sisters, and um, and I see now especially how much we need them, we need each other, and just uh just you know, he did so much when he changed his name, you know, and he gave his whole family so much.
• 41:51
  SPEAKER_03: So that's how we became Campbell's, and then Don married us, and we both took the name of the the pastor, and that's pretty fun.
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, yeah, that's just such amazing.
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_02: Because they I mean they've been instrumental.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah to y'all.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_02: In fact, you just went and saw them.
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_02: I did to go see them.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_02: How you share them publicly their family and it's nieces and nephews and right, right, the whole thing.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_03: So we still see them as much as possible.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_03: And um yeah, I mean, they're such a special, special family.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_03: We all um one of my brother-in-laws he made these stones.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_03: So Sean had a favorite hymn, Come Thou Fount, and um in that hymn there's that line, Here I raise my Ebenezer.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_03: And um, and so we as a family just got to thinking about that.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_03: And and um I think it was you know, Don and Casey, my brother, uh they I don't know who came up with it, but they decided to make these stones for everybody.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_03: And um and they we have on the on the stone is printed the words from 1 Samuel 7, thus far the Lord has helped us.
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_03: And so I have mine sitting in my kitchen window, and I saw Mary sitting on our porch this week, and we have one on Sean's headstone, and um, and that's our Ebenezer as a family.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_03: Like we just we share in that uh truth that he has helped us.
• 43:14
  SPEAKER_03: And then he planned so much beforehand.
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_03: You know, he knew what was coming.
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_03: God knew what was coming, and he went before and he set so much in motion that that has taken care of us in the last few years, you know.
• 43:33
  SPEAKER_03: And so no matter how it feels, some days I can see that truth and know that God is faithful.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_02: Someone's faithfulness in the mundane life.
• 43:51
  SPEAKER_02: Reaching out to a young kid, willing to sit and have happy your bad as life.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_02: Step in and fill I mean the fill a father figure role feels like a really large thing.
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_02: But this means that it just through coffee and conversation.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_02: You didn't go in there thinking I'm gonna adopt some kids and name my last name.
• 44:18
  SPEAKER_02: But yeah.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_02: But we expanded your family.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, we yeah.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_02: If I could be so nosy.
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_02: Nosy, literally.
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um you you said a couple of things, and I think I mean there's a lot of questions that I have because that's just who I am.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_02: But uh one thing in particular that you guys ahead of time, I mean you knew what you were getting into.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_02: Um he wanted you to know that when you were signing up for him, you were signing up for a military life, and that's not an easy thing.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_02: Like that's that's no small commitment.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_05: Right.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_02: Um, there's so much involved there from having to move all the time and instability plus safety, you know, all of those things.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_02: But you've said this a couple times and I'd love for you to talk about it, but just the fact that you didn't you you weren't constantly thinking about the worst case scenario and you weren't planning for it, that in line with the fact that you're that also like didn't frame your way of thinking, like you just uh enjoyed the time you had.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_02: Um because I think a lot of us women in particular can lose ourselves in the what-ifs, right, which the only thing that it's doing is stealing us from the present.
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_05: Right.
• 45:48
  SPEAKER_02: Uh you have the opportunity to go down a lot of what ifs.
• 45:51
  SPEAKER_02: And it came true.
• 45:54
  SPEAKER_02: And but speaking from that place and speaking to those of us who are trying to wrestle that down, what's some of the thought or just what the Lord has shown you through that?
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_03: I um, you know, I always think of our very first duty station in the Marine Corps was a school in Quantico, and um so it was very short, but that's where you you meet like your first friends in the Marine Corps and I had a little group of women I met with, and and one of them I remember sharing a scripture with with us as a group, um, and it was uh Philippians, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right and smart.
• 46:32
  SPEAKER_03: And um, yeah, and and it whatever is true, you know, dwell on that.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_03: And and I remember her saying, you know, what's true today is that we're safe.
• 46:40
  SPEAKER_03: My husband's at school, and we're I have a job, you know, and whatever was true that day was good.
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_03: And um, and so it, you know, it's not true today that I don't know, it was just that line.
• 46:51
  SPEAKER_03: I just have never forgotten that.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_03: And when you're you know, when you want to dwell on the what ifs and this could happen, and then what well that's not true right now, and so that's not what God has for you right now to deal with, and um, and that that I think really kept me from from dwelling on what if a lot.
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_03: Um and also, you know, we knew that's where God had us and where he was leading us.
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_03: You know, exactly a month after Sean was commissioned, um 9-11 hit, and that changed everything.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you know, he he signed up in you know, relative peacetime, and right we had all these plans and ideas of what it was gonna look like, but really you have no idea.
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_03: But um, but then that happens and you just know like, well, nothing's ever, ever gonna look the same.
• 47:34
  SPEAKER_03: And so, but we didn't we didn't fear it, we just knew, well, this is what God's called us to, so this is what we're doing.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know, maybe we're just young and crazy, but um, you know, we didn't know enough to be scared, but but um but it also wasn't worth it.
• 47:49
  SPEAKER_03: But yeah, you know, we wanted to enjoy what we had, and especially once we had kids, and the time is short, his his work days were long and he traveled a lot or he would deploy for months at a time, and and so that time in between we wanted to make the most of.
• 48:03
  SPEAKER_03: And we did, and that you know, that's what led us to homeschool because it meant we could follow his schedule.
• 48:09
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 48:09
  SPEAKER_03: Um it meant we could move any time of year and not have to pull the kids in and out of school, and we could take days off if Sean had days off and we could take vacations whenever, and um you know, it gave them something consistent and it meant that their home base was home, you know, so so home could move and yeah, um which was at a responsibility for you.
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_02: I mean that's no short, you know, right?
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_02: True.
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_02: True.
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_02: I know that's awesome.
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_02: Thought I would do it.
• 48:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that you would even think through that because that's so intentional and so like yeah, what a gift.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it was good.
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_03: It made sense for that season, and then I thought I would continue, you know, because I just had never considered anything else, but then coming here and having God plop us in a school, and now that makes total sense, and I need that, and and so um, yeah, so it just and Sean was great about that being intentional.
• 48:58
  SPEAKER_03: I remember him coming home from Iraq his the second time.
• 49:02
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and he immediately bought a sailboat, this old rickety old sailboat, because you know, summer was coming and we we canceled cable and we bought a sailboat because we just we wanted to spend our time as a family, yeah.
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_03: And so we did, and we had so much fun on that boat on the river, and um, and that was how he lived, you know.
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_03: He just he wanted to give his family as much of himself as he could when he could, and um, and so and you know, the military is an amazing, amazing community.
• 49:30
  SPEAKER_03: So we had really close friends and neighbors, and um, you know, when he was gone, I had just the greatest girlfriends, you know, and and they're still my friends and they're still my community.
• 49:41
  SPEAKER_03: But um, and we always plugged into a church right away.
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_03: So e you know, moving around, I think as a marine family, you know your time is short, and so you just don't waste time on, you know, you you just we would find a church on a recommendation from somebody and we would just plug right in.
• 49:55
  SPEAKER_03: It didn't have to be perfect.
• 49:56
  SPEAKER_03: Um, you know, if they were speaking truth, and it was a community we just joined.
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, because it'd be easy to frame it as I know many of that.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_02: Well, we've been here that long.
• 50:05
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 50:06
  SPEAKER_02: We're plugging in.
• 50:07
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I get too attached.
• 50:08
  SPEAKER_03: Why bother hanging pictures on the walls, you know?
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_03: But we would do all of that and um intentionally do the opposite to me.
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_03: And so we, you know, we lived in one of our homes for nine months, maybe well, maybe it was exactly a year, and that was one of our deepest communities, you know.
• 50:24
  SPEAKER_03: I think we had more people from that community come to Sean's funeral than than any other, because they were just became some of our closest friends.
• 50:31
  SPEAKER_03: And so if you're intentional, you know, it doesn't matter how long you live in community, you can you know that it sticks.
• 50:36
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 50:37
  SPEAKER_03: So that's that's what we feel.
• 50:39
  SPEAKER_01: If we do it that way, everywhere feels like home.
• 50:41
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 50:42
  SPEAKER_01: Where we are, let's make it home while we're here.
• 50:44
  SPEAKER_01: You kind of always have a home, a sense of home.
• 50:47
  SPEAKER_03: Which makes it harder to leave.
• 50:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, goodbyes were always really hard, but we knew we would we would have that in the next place, and we always did.
• 50:53
  SPEAKER_03: You know, God faithfully gave us the same thing in the next place, and so yeah.
• 50:58
  SPEAKER_03: That's so good.
• 50:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I I think it's the beauty of uh like in the God's in God's economy, multiplication happens because we think once we give ourselves to someone or something that we won't have enough, you know, for that we won't, but I mean just that example of like you know, you can still leave little pieces of your heart everywhere and still have a whole heart.
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know, it's just they got some love to go around and multiplying, yeah, yeah.
• 51:27
  SPEAKER_02: That's really, really beautiful.
• 51:28
  SPEAKER_02: Love it.
• 51:29
  SPEAKER_02: So how do you um when you when you're faced with um did you have other times that you thought maybe something happened and you talk about, like, you know, he was deployed and all of that.
• 51:43
  SPEAKER_02: Um you know, were any of those times different or prepare you for that day you wake up and you're like, wait a minute, he didn't come home because that was kind of your situation.
• 51:55
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 51:56
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I guess I mean, obviously we had lost friends, we had seen um training accidents that happened in our squadrons before, and we had seen it happen, but I think even even as a military family, even when you've seen it, you just still don't expect it to be you.
• 52:11
  SPEAKER_03: And so there's there's really no preparing.
• 52:15
  SPEAKER_03: Um you know, there's no there's no preparing for exact uh situations because you don't know.
• 52:22
  SPEAKER_03: But I think I think uh by intentionally living in community and having people around us and having a church and that prepared us more than anything because I you know I didn't have to do anything.
• 52:33
  SPEAKER_03: I just was completely swept up and cared for from that first day.
• 52:37
  SPEAKER_03: And um and I I do I remember so much peace that first day, you know, he was missing and the Marines had come, but nobody else was there yet.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_03: I had called friends and it was you know, it was five in the morning, and um but then you know my pastor and his wife walked through the door and they were our best friends on the island and um and he brought with them a a couple from our church that you know we had known um a little bit at church.
• 53:01
  SPEAKER_03: Um he was actually an army colonel, and you know, by the end of the day I think he was doing the dishes.
• 53:06
  SPEAKER_03: And and I I remember looking and thinking, Sean, what Sean, I like he would just be floored right now.
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_03: The colonel is is doing his dishes, this man he looked up to so much, I know.
• 53:17
  SPEAKER_03: And but that was what people did.
• 53:18
  SPEAKER_03: They just walked in and they just they just took over and took care of us.
• 53:23
  SPEAKER_03: And um I think I'm rambling off topic, I can't remember your original question now.
• 53:27
  SPEAKER_03: All of a sudden, oh being prepared.
• 53:30
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I you know, there was just a lot of peace because I think if you're grounded in the Lord and your hope is in him, and then no matter what happens, you know he's he's still there.
• 53:41
  SPEAKER_03: So I was totally lost and in shock, but I remember knowing God was there.
• 53:46
  SPEAKER_03: And um yeah, there was just so much peace in that.
• 53:50
  SPEAKER_03: It's undisc it's it's unimaginable.
• 53:54
  SPEAKER_03: Uh yeah, what it peace be uh I can't think of the the scripture beyond understanding, peace that surpasses understanding.
• 54:01
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 54:02
  SPEAKER_03: Um that was it.
• 54:03
  SPEAKER_03: Like I thought I knew what that was, but I didn't until that week.
• 54:06
  SPEAKER_03: Like there was peace that surpassed understanding.
• 54:09
  SPEAKER_03: I still don't understand it.
• 54:11
  SPEAKER_03: Um and then since there's also been this unimaginable joy, you know, like it's it's deeper because of sorrow.
• 54:19
  SPEAKER_03: Like there's so much to appreciate and to see how even though this happened, God was in it and he was taking care of us and providing.
• 54:27
  SPEAKER_03: And um, you know, I've got joyful little Donovan who's just daily joy, you know, he's a gift, and and he was born four years after his older sibling in a surprise, and and now I know, I know why he, you know, why there's ten years between my boys, and yeah, there's just so many details that are so clearly God's hand that you know we may never we we never even know all of them, but yeah, um but that's you know he prepares us, I guess.
• 54:59
  SPEAKER_02: So and then he's there to meet us.
• 55:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 55:04
  SPEAKER_02: So as you um continue to just live with this what is now new, the new normal.
• 55:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um just share some of those ways that um community has still played an important part, and then also what that looks like for others for you to be able to talk about it, others asking about it, and also being intentional in friendship and relationship with you guys.
• 55:33
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 55:34
  SPEAKER_03: Um I think I I guess I was at a point, you know, after losing Sean that I was just so lost and so without any clue of how to take care of myself, much less my kids, that I just sort of surrendered.
• 55:47
  SPEAKER_03: I remember in that word being in my head all the time, I just I give I'm I surrender, not I give up, I surrender, I whatever you have, Lord, because I have nothing.
• 55:57
  SPEAKER_03: And um, and so he just brought people and people and people.
• 56:00
  SPEAKER_03: Wow, and strangers, and you know, you were one of them.
• 56:02
  SPEAKER_03: And I guess the first time um Sarah organized ladies to bring meals, it was right after Sean's funeral, which wasn't until April down in Texas.
• 56:11
  SPEAKER_03: And so, you know, we'd just been through that long process and we came home from that and and there every day for like two weeks a a new stranger showed up at the door with a meal, but they were all so sweet, and so many of them prayed for me, and um their kids came in, and uh, you know how kids are their instant best friends, and yeah.
• 56:28
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and there were just have been situations like that all throughout the last two years, and um, and so then through our school, you know, they just took us in like family, and now, you know, my closest friends were the other moms at school who who helped me, you know, keep track of the emails and where to be when, and because I just you know, for so long I just couldn't think clearly and couldn't keep up.
• 56:50
  SPEAKER_03: It's a lot to keep up on your own.
• 56:52
  SPEAKER_03: It it's a lot anyways, with four kids, right?
• 56:55
  SPEAKER_03: From homeschooling to that, exactly, yeah.
• 56:58
  SPEAKER_03: And so they still keep me on track.
• 57:00
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and then through our school, actually, is how I found our church.
• 57:05
  SPEAKER_03: Um, you know, one of the teachers at the school invited us, and um, and you know, we had been looking for months and months, and and you know, because that's what we did, that's what I had always done.
• 57:15
  SPEAKER_03: Like, we need a church, we need a home, and uh we need people, and and so you know, we had the school, but I didn't know what else.
• 57:21
  SPEAKER_03: And and the first day I visited this particular church, it just, you know, I knew, and um, and and we were just in the process of moving over here to Leewood, and so you know, I visit the church and find out it's two minutes from you know where we're gonna move to, and it just it all came together at the right time, you know, and I had been worried and it came together when it needed to.
• 57:42
  SPEAKER_03: And so school and church and um family have just, you know, our community and even um our extended military family around the world, you know, literally I've I've just I you know text messaging and Facebook and these things have been have been really good through all this to be able to keep up with people and um and I you know I realize accepting help as hard as it is is a blessing to others who want to give it.
• 58:10
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, because I was always the helper, you know, I was always the one that made the meal or sent the card, and and and I remember thinking, oh, what difference does it make, really?
• 58:20
  SPEAKER_03: You know, but now beyond this side of it, I know what difference it makes, every single little thing.
• 58:25
  SPEAKER_03: And so um so yeah, so I want to be that person still.
• 58:29
  SPEAKER_03: I want to be able to go back to that, being the helper, you know.
• 58:33
  SPEAKER_03: But you know, it's been a long season of being helped and receiving and learning to receive and rest, and um, and through that I've developed really close friends because I I guess that lets them in, that lets people in, you know, and and it takes really brave people to step into that kind of mess.
• 58:51
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, you know, our our mess is scary and but really brave people have come into it.
• 58:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 58:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 58:59
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you all are pretty easy to love, I have to say.
• 59:02
  SPEAKER_02: It's true.
• 59:04
  SPEAKER_02: It's true.
• 59:05
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but it's it's also it truly is, I think, for people on both sides, those who are going through grief to just um to be able to hear that message of it's okay to receive.
• 59:17
  SPEAKER_02: And um for those who are trying to look for a way to be brave and and give, even if you're not sure.
• 59:24
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 59:25
  SPEAKER_02: And um, I don't think in both of those situations you can go too wrong, because I think you've really lived from that place and just even like you know, just a testimony to our friendship there.
• 59:34
  SPEAKER_02: Like I'm just I'm just so grateful.
• 59:36
  SPEAKER_02: Um, because it is it is a little scary thing on both sides.
• 59:39
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
• 59:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um, because um, well, and those who are helping, you know, they don't want to say the wrong thing or ask exactly right.
• 59:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know, there's all the different scenarios, but I think just living authentically and being like, all right, I don't even know what to say, or can I ask?
• 59:56
  SPEAKER_02: Or yeah, yeah.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_03: And I've found that that's okay.
• 59:59
  SPEAKER_03: And I look at people, I'm like, I know, I know how you feel.
• 1:00:02
  SPEAKER_03: I'm I'm the same way, I would feel the same way.
• 1:00:04
  SPEAKER_03: And so thank you for for coming, anyways, you know.
• 1:00:07
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for asking, and it's okay.
• 1:00:09
  SPEAKER_03: And and I think the best thing has been people who just do it without you know, without it's easy to say, let me know if I can do anything, and and be sincere.
• 1:00:18
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, um, but they're probably not gonna ask because they don't know what they need, you know.
• 1:00:21
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't know what I needed for so long.
• 1:00:23
  SPEAKER_03: And so it's so true.
• 1:00:25
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so it's just that people reaching out and doing what I didn't even know I needed.
• 1:00:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and then I would look up and be amazed at how God God knew what I needed and he sent someone, you know.
• 1:00:35
  SPEAKER_03: Including neighbors, he placed neighbors in the middle of some perfect neighbors, yeah.
• 1:00:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we have some awesome neighbors.
• 1:00:43
  SPEAKER_03: We have neighbors that have become like extra grandparents and and neighbor kids that the girls spend every waking minute with, and um, yeah, it's just amazing.
• 1:00:52
  SPEAKER_02: It is, it's really beautiful to see how all that folded.
• 1:00:56
  SPEAKER_02: Again, to know what you need before you even knew you needed it.
• 1:00:59
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 1:01:00
  SPEAKER_02: And I think too, if if the Lord, I mean, sometimes it's okay to just give the ask of the genuine, hey, if you need anything, but if the Lord gives you something specific, go with it.
• 1:01:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know, just don't be afraid.
• 1:01:12
  SPEAKER_02: And um, even if it's chocolate and wine or flowers or babysitting, or you know, yeah, can I help pick the kids up?
• 1:01:26
  SPEAKER_02: Or I just I'm just I go back to your friend who you know made that initial research and phone call, like I love that, you know, finds Whitfield and then finds Bold of Honor.
• 1:01:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:01:37
  SPEAKER_02: Um, the chain of events that she unleashed.
• 1:01:39
  SPEAKER_03: She has no idea, you know.
• 1:01:41
  SPEAKER_03: That's amazing.
• 1:01:42
  SPEAKER_03: Christy Kaiser, I'm gonna say your name because she'll hear this.
• 1:01:45
  SPEAKER_03: And I tell people all the time, I mean, she had no idea.
• 1:01:48
  SPEAKER_03: And and she was hesitant to tell me, I hope you don't mind.
• 1:01:51
  SPEAKER_03: I made this call.
• 1:01:52
  SPEAKER_03: I just wanted to see if you had options, and yeah, and you know, and I was like, Do you have any idea?
• 1:01:57
  SPEAKER_03: I prayed for this today, and I didn't know what I was praying for, and yeah, yeah, and um, and to see what that set emotion, like you said, we're here because of that, we have a home because of that, and so yeah, you just never know that little that thing you think is not so important that you feel God pushing you to do for somebody, you just never know what he's gonna do with that.
• 1:02:16
  SPEAKER_01: So that's that's great encouragement.
• 1:02:18
  SPEAKER_01: And for me, I think of things and I think I'll just be in the way, oh, that's probably gonna be a bother.
• 1:02:22
  SPEAKER_01: Or do you know what I mean?
• 1:02:23
  SPEAKER_01: Because you're like, Well, she's grieving.
• 1:02:24
  SPEAKER_01: Why do I what I want to get in her space or whatever?
• 1:02:27
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that's great to know from somebody that it's the little things matter, even though just the fact I guess just knowing that somebody would cared even right and that you have forgotten and yeah, and sometimes there isn't anything you could do, and you certainly can't fix it.
• 1:02:40
  SPEAKER_03: I'm a fixer, and so I want to do something that's gonna make it better, but right, you know, sometimes it's just about being there where they can see you.
• 1:02:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you know.
• 1:02:48
  SPEAKER_02: Sitting sitting in the pain with them, yeah, really essentially is is what's going on.
• 1:02:52
  SPEAKER_02: It means everything.
• 1:02:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:02:54
  SPEAKER_02: It's good.
• 1:02:55
  SPEAKER_02: Um, as we just finish up, there's a couple more things that I I would love to know personally, but when you know, when there's holidays, our national holidays like Memorial Day and you know, even like Veterans Day, and for the just all the different ways that you know our country at least has set aside to honor.
• 1:03:14
  SPEAKER_02: Um I would love to see just I don't know, continued, you know, um importance placed on that and speaking as you know, someone who did serve and does, because it you have you won't ever end up like not be serving our country because of what you've ultimately given.
• 1:03:35
  SPEAKER_02: How can people think and acknowledge and all of that?
• 1:03:38
  SPEAKER_02: Because I think we sometimes lose it.
• 1:03:40
  SPEAKER_02: We sometimes go, oh, you know, it's another holiday and we forget, or we have so much political debate.
• 1:03:46
  SPEAKER_02: I I feel like the military in the inn has been the greatest victim of the political debate system um because they get lumped in that and set up set apart and honored like they should.
• 1:03:57
  SPEAKER_02: And so you just could let us know in some of the ways that it would mean a lot to feel valued and honored.
• 1:04:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:04:06
  SPEAKER_03: Um that's a good question.
• 1:04:08
  SPEAKER_03: I I feel like our country does a good job um with the holidays they set aside, and and I guess it's the the community I'm in too.
• 1:04:17
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I see I see the good.
• 1:04:19
  SPEAKER_03: I see the people that do honor the military, and um, and I've received a lot, a lot of that and letters and um Does that look like passing thank yous?
• 1:04:28
  SPEAKER_03: Does that look like yeah, you know, you know, getting thank yous from strangers.
• 1:04:33
  SPEAKER_03: Like you might think, what what would this really do to have my kids write cards that are getting it sent overseas or you know, but those things really matter and somebody is gonna hold that in their hands and and feel loved, you know, and so um any, you know, little things like that or sending care packages or um just participating, I guess, in in whatever your community does, you know, whether it's a parade or a ceremony or um and hearing those names spoken um or or speaking them.
• 1:05:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:05:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:05:06
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
• 1:05:07
  SPEAKER_03: I think um I think just continuing to talk about it and and share stories and honor those stories, and that's what Folds of Honor really does.
• 1:05:15
  SPEAKER_03: You know, they're not just helping me pay for school, but they're telling Sean's story and they're making sure his name is is spoken and his story is told, and and they're giving me a chance to do that.
• 1:05:26
  SPEAKER_03: Um because his legacy is is his kids and you know, and so um so it's just it's beautiful the way they honor um the fallen and and disabled too that they're able to tell their stories and and by sharing those stories more people receive hope.
• 1:05:44
  SPEAKER_03: And um there's just there's such a need, I guess, for encouragement and hope in the world.
• 1:05:50
  SPEAKER_03: And so yeah, I think as a country we're doing a lot better job than maybe in the past with honoring veterans and and so to just keep doing that.
• 1:06:00
  SPEAKER_03: And say thank you and don't don't feel too shy to go up to someone in uniform and say thank you.
• 1:06:04
  SPEAKER_03: It it does mean something, you know.
• 1:06:05
  SPEAKER_03: So it's good.
• 1:06:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:06:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:06:08
  SPEAKER_02: I think that is really important because it again, it's like those who you know, how do you help someone who's grieving?
• 1:06:13
  SPEAKER_02: But also, you know, wanting like I my personal experience is never no one's ever been like, Don't think me good.
• 1:06:20
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 1:06:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:06:21
  SPEAKER_02: Or brush it off or whatever.
• 1:06:22
  SPEAKER_02: Or, you know, maybe yeah, it is hard to receive a thank you, but it still means something.
• 1:06:27
  SPEAKER_02: And it's still important acknowledging all of that.
• 1:06:30
  SPEAKER_02: Um, what other last little thing would you like to share about Folds of Honor?
• 1:06:34
  SPEAKER_02: There's so much there, obviously, just like there's so much with Sean's story and the ongoing story of the Campbell family.
• 1:06:41
  SPEAKER_02: Um what would you just uh like to share about them and encourage our friends to know more about?
• 1:06:49
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, well definitely um yeah, foldsofhonor.org.
• 1:06:52
  SPEAKER_03: You can check them out and you can hear stories of so many families like mine.
• 1:06:56
  SPEAKER_03: They have videos of of families and these sweet kids and um and I you know the thing I love obviously because it's it's what's affected us, but they f really fill a gap for young children um with scholarships because you know, college scholarships are out there for military kids and and that's good and they're needed and wonderful, and Fold gives college scholarships.
• 1:07:19
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 1:07:20
  SPEAKER_03: Um and you know, I think uh maybe three quarters of theirs are college students.
• 1:07:25
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 1:07:26
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but they also do this thing called the Children's Fund Scholarship, which I don't know anyone else doing that.
• 1:07:31
  SPEAKER_03: And for my homeschooled kids to have come here and I would have had to plop them into four different public schools, they had never been to school before.
• 1:07:39
  SPEAKER_03: I would have been dealing with four different administrations and teachers and places and just the logistics of that alone, I can't even imagine.
• 1:07:46
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:07:46
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but emotionally for them, you know, they are in the best possible place.
• 1:07:51
  SPEAKER_03: And um, you know, their teachers are their counselors and you know, they're they have time and space um on those hard days for them.
• 1:07:59
  SPEAKER_03: And so just that's what Folds has given us, you know, a much easier transition and hope and just you know, a start in this life.
• 1:08:08
  SPEAKER_03: And um and so and they do it so well, and we're part of a family with Folds, you know, they're not just this organization on paper, but uh getting to know um the founders and the board and every single person I've met that's involved is so passionate about what they're doing and what they're giving, and um and passionate about meeting the people, you know, so meeting the recipients.
• 1:08:32
  SPEAKER_03: So there's just such a beautiful family within Folds, a family of recipients and donors that all know each other and interact, and so and Folds does a good job of honoring both sides of that, both you know, those who have served and those who are now serving them, and so it's relationship, it's not just very much, yeah, yeah.
• 1:08:48
  SPEAKER_03: That's so it is just a beautiful community and something definitely to get involved with.
• 1:08:53
  SPEAKER_03: In there are chapters around the country, and within those chapters they do different events.
• 1:08:58
  SPEAKER_03: There's a lot of golf involved with Folds, that's how it started out, it's a lot of golf events, but it's not just golf.
• 1:09:04
  SPEAKER_03: There's you know, I found them because of the 5k run, you know.
• 1:09:07
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 1:09:07
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so yeah, I would encourage people to check it out and to give if you know that's a way if you're looking for a way to say thank you and give back to the military, that's a good place to do it because you know the those gifts are stewarded really well in the five fold.
• 1:09:23
  SPEAKER_03: So that's awesome.
• 1:09:25
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you, Kelly.
• 1:09:26
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for being willing to share.
• 1:09:28
  SPEAKER_02: Um I do feel really privileged and honored to share your story and to share John King, his legacy.
• 1:09:34
  SPEAKER_02: Um you have lived this out in such a beautiful way.
• 1:09:50
  SPEAKER_02: And you we can't all help but go, could I do that?
• 1:09:54
  unknown: I don't know if I can.
• 1:09:56
  SPEAKER_02: No, you can't.
• 1:09:58
  SPEAKER_03: Like I can't.
• 1:10:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you you bring such glory to his name through uh every little post um just in your life and how you conduct it, and um all the behind the scenes stuff too.
• 1:10:15
  SPEAKER_04: Um thank you.
• 1:10:16
  SPEAKER_02: You reach for him uh through it all is uh is the most inspiring.
• 1:10:23
  SPEAKER_02: So thank you.
• 1:10:24
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you, Amy.
• 1:10:25
  SPEAKER_02: I'm sorry I ended up.
• 1:10:27
  SPEAKER_03: No, that's okay, that's what we do.
• 1:10:29
  SPEAKER_02: But we love you, and uh we're we're always just cheering for you.
• 1:10:33
  SPEAKER_02: So thank you.
• 1:10:34
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you so much.
• 1:10:39
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I promised a moving conversation, and I believe the Campbell story is certainly inspiring.
• 1:10:45
  SPEAKER_02: If you feel led, would you find all the ways you can join the mission of Folds of Honor?
• 1:10:50
  SPEAKER_02: They do such amazing work for the families who have given the ultimate sacrifice.
• 1:10:55
  SPEAKER_02: Find out how to connect with them in our show notes, and we'd be thrilled if you'd take a minute to share this episode with friends and family so they too can be inspired by Sean's legacy and learn more about Folds of Honor.
• 1:11:07
  SPEAKER_02: Next week we'll be taking a break from the airways to gear up for our special summer series.
• 1:11:12
  SPEAKER_02: You'll still find us hanging out on all the socials.
• 1:11:15
  SPEAKER_02: It's at Simply Wholehearted on Instagram and Facebook.
• 1:11:19
  SPEAKER_02: And be sure to take the opportunity to catch up on all the episodes.
• 1:11:22
  SPEAKER_02: There are more than 50 available.
• 1:11:25
  SPEAKER_02: So, one in particular you might enjoy is all the way back to episode two with Robson.
• 1:11:31
  SPEAKER_02: It's just a perfect one for Father's Day, which is coming up here soon.
• 1:11:35
  SPEAKER_02: This summer, we will have some incredible guests like Shelley Tomlinson, Kristen Welch, Ashley Mays, and the girls from the Moon Lily podcast.
• 1:11:43
  SPEAKER_02: And of course, Ashley and I will be sharing about our summer adventures along with some of our friends from the Simply Wholehearted Collective.
• 1:11:51
  SPEAKER_02: We are going to have a blast.
• 1:11:54
  SPEAKER_02: So, until then, we hope you'll be joining us as we discover more ways to live a simply wholehearted life.
• 1:12:00
  SPEAKER_02: Unplugged, purposeful, and intentional.