Latest / The Unity Code - Where Science Meets Energy, Consciousness, and Spirit. / Spiritual Egos & Red Flags

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Spiritual Egos & Red Flags · The Unity Code - Where Science Meets Energy, Consciousness, and Spirit.

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hello there and welcome back to Empower your Soul Today in true form.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: I wrote notes for today's episode to print out so I could look at my notes and my printer won't work, and I think it's the perfect example of spiritual red flags.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Because it's so red, my printer won't even print it.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: And it's so interesting.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: And I love how spirit in case you're wondering how I get ideas for these podcast episodes Spirit truly does just continue to give me the same things over and over and over again, until I'm supposed to talk about it on this podcast.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: And I love this because this must be for someone listening that's having a really shitty experience with a quote unquote spiritual leader.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: And I want to educate you on the red flags of these spiritual egos and spiritual leaders and teachers, because things are not normal in this space and it's so interesting that I say that because I feel like it is normal, but we just don't expect it in the spiritual space because we have all been through school and had shitty ass teachers.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: We have all had egocentric teachers, egocentric leaders in probably our organizations, right?
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: So it is, encountering people, I'm going to say, with big egos that only do things for themselves is very commonplace, I think in everywhere, no matter where it is.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: And I think when people start down the spiritual path, they have this perception that if they're spiritual, well then they must be the best people.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: They must not come from ego, they must know better.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: Because you would think we'd be a little more enlightened than that in the spiritual space, but don't you know, don't you know?
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: I'm going to put out the idea of these mega churches and those leaders, right, like, are they doing it for the best selves?
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: Because I can tell you that they're not.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: I can tell you the ones that don't have to pay taxes but yet have extremely nice cars, compounds for the houses, right?
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: This is what I'm talking about.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: Just because we are in the spiritual space here does not mean the egos don't exist.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: And actually I want to counter it a little bit and say the egos are so much bigger here.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: I don't know if that's true or not, that's just my perception and or maybe the reality is is that now I can read energy and I can read the ego energy a lot more here than I have in any other space.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: So let's get into it.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: Let's get into it, because when I'm talking about the ego, obviously these are people who it's so bad I'm just going to put out there.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: These are people who think they're better than everybody else.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: They think that they're here for a reason that God has gifted them with these abilities.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: They are special, they are chosen and I can kind of I can kind of see that and I think a lot of people hit some level of this when they start their spiritual journey.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: Because when you open up to these abilities that science says aren't real, that society says you're crazy if you have them, and then you start opening up to these abilities and you're able to perceive energy and receive information about people that is not public energy and receive information about people that is not public, that is how would you have any way of knowing this information?
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: It's a fucking ego trip, like.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: It's like holy shit, this is amazing.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: So I can understand where some of these ego, spirit, spiritual egos, come from.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, the feeling of being gifted or chosen.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, you know, I think that has to be checked with the idea that we all come from energy and we all have this ability.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: But that's not how most people think and I will say that I feel like that ego gets even stronger when, again, you're doing this spiritual work, you're getting things right and you have this giant like boost of serotonin or this adrenaline rush when you're doing these readings and after after these readings and seeing how much you help people, man, it feels really good.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: It feels really good.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: So I just want to under, I just want to like caveat this but I, because I feel like the spiritual space, this is why I'm saying what's the right way.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: I want to say this, this is why I'm saying I think that it's more prevalent in the spiritual space, because it like sets you up for this, because it's secretive, because you're getting these adrenaline hits.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: Who wouldn't want to think that they are better than other people?
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: I guess I wouldn't, but a lot of people do like that.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: It's a power trip and it feels really good, so they're going to keep riding that wave.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: People do like that.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: It's a power trip and it feels really good, so they're going to keep riding that wave.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: And because when you feel like you're special right, that becomes a source of self worth and validation.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: And that is just like furthered by a lot of these spiritual communities where we're placing teachers on pedestals, like we're creating a lot of unhealthy power dynamics across these systems that are in place in the spiritual world and I gotta be honest, like the whole thing is like an MLM right, it feels like a pyramid scheme for a lot of these institutions, and that tells you exactly what I think about some of these spiritualist churches.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: So let's get into it.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: Let's talk about, let's talk about the red flags that I've seen in the spiritual space, and it's not just me.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: I have, because this has come up a few times I have, with permission of the people that sent me these examples, compiled not just my experiences but the experience of others working with and identifying like red flags and people that are not necessarily spiritually authentic.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: I will let's talk about the red flags that they've seen in the spiritual leadership space.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: So I want to start with the teachers and I'm going to shift to, like the students, the practice sitters, because I think that's that's a thing too, and I'm going to shift to, like the students, the practice sitters, because I think that's that's a thing too, and I'm going to keep this in the.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: I'm going to keep this in the context of like teachers and students, but we'll see where that goes.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: So some of the red flags that I have seen personally, and I'm going to include other examples here.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: Is this one size fits all or my way, or the highway version of the spiritual work?
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: And I think it's really interesting because I think we walk into this is going to be a very complicated episode.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: When we walk into a lot of the spiritual work, they're teaching you the way to do it right, and I understand that, especially in the healing space, especially with Reiki and certifications, like you have to do it their way to get certified in this work.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: Right, I get it.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: So I think that's the basis of where a lot of this comes from.
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: And again, if you like, peel the onion back.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: You peel the layers back from that certification.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: You go to college.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: You know exactly which classes you have to take to get your your degree right, like and I think this is a very masculine way of looking at things where, excuse me, I breathed in the wrong way.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: That was my cue from spirit Don't go there.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: So I'm not going to go there.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: This is how they make me stop in my tracks.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: They're like, nope, let's make you choke on your own spit and then we're not going to go there.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: Okay, so let me talk about this one size fits all mediumship, spiritual leaders right and it's it's this idea that their way is the only way.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: So I'm going to talk with.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: I'm going to keep it neutral, I'm not going to tell you which are my examples and which are other people's examples, mainly because in case those people are listening, you're going to know exactly who it is.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: But I'm going to say I'm going to just list off some examples that I've given.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: So I have been given examples where a teacher encourages their students that they need to read very slow and go very deep into details.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: Where students feel like their style is more fast paced, get it more fast paced, get it.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: And when they deviate from their teacher standard, it's considered wrong, which I have seen.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: Okay, I guess I'm throwing myself under the bus.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: I have seen this.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: I have seen this from so many of my students who have had other teachers.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: Like this is a rampant issue in the mediumship space.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: Even when I was developing, I would go into practice circles I'm going to say it at one of the spiritualist churches and I had, like a teacher in that class reprimand and no, my mind you, I paid.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: It was supposed to be a practice circle.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: It was like 10 bucks, super cheap, but they've raised their prices since then.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: But I would hop in, I would.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: I'm just there to practice my reading and then the teacher would like coach me, and she would be like you need to keep your eyes open during the reading.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: And I'm like it's not why I'm here.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: I'm not here to be coached, I'm here to practice and I appreciate your.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: You're trying to give me information, but I'm going to read it my way and I don't really care what you think.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: You're not my teacher, right?
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry?
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: That's that's my perspective on things.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: Um, doing it their way.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: And I understand the purpose of the eyes open.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: But, in fair beginning, you know how hard it is to keep your eyes open when you're trying to see things, because now you have to, like visually, see something with your eye and in your head.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: I'm not going down there, but you know how hard it is when you're beginning with the clairvoyance, how hard it is to see.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: So closing your eyes is helpful.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: So that's what I was doing and I'm still pissed off about that.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: I'm like leave me alone, leave me alone.
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: Other instances were when I started my journey and my mediumship teacher told me to go research who my mediumship guide was.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: So they.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: They told me to go and like look at online, go, go, search the arching archangels, go see which my mediumship guide was.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: So I searched all the archangels like a good student, looked for my homework and then I landed on goddess Diana and I got full body shivers.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: When I landed on her right, I went to my teacher.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: I'm like Goddess Diana is my coach, she's my guide, she's my teacher.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: Do you know what she said to me?
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: She said not that one, you need a real archangel.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: She like brushed off Diana and she's like no, no, no, you need a Christian based one.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's really the reality of what she said is I needed a Christian-based archangel.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: I needed to, you know, choose Raphael or Jesus or somebody else, right, like, so, like it's just so interesting to me because I did it.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: I had the answer Not that one, choose a real one.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: Um, fun, right, it's fun, that's.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: And that was my first class in mediumship.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: I've ever had everybody.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: So there you go.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: Um, in case you wondered if I stuck with that teacher, I did not.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: She's a lovely woman, but not for me.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: Um, I've also seen and heard other teachers say things like you will never hear spirit in their own voice in your head, which is false for me.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: I hear spirit in their own voice.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: I hear their laughing in my voice, quite a bit actually.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: So that was not true for me.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: And then I, just over the course of my spiritual career and I feel like this is why I need to be in the space and why I'm supposed to be doing this podcast is I have been told over and over again by multiple teachers that, quote, unquote spirit would never do this to you end quote.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: And they'll give me examples, like they will not bring two in at a time, they will not, um, they will come in as they were when they died, like, and I, like I can't even imagine all of the different scenarios that I've heard.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: And every time when I and I'm not minimizing this when I say every time, it was every time a teacher would say that to me it would show up in the next reading.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: Spirit always proved a point to me that I am supposed to break the box of mediumship.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: So there has been so many different times where I've had to go back to my teacher and be like well, you said it would never happen and it did happen.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: And then they would be like well, no, no, no, you were actually just reading one spirit and and the sitter was confused that it was two.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: No, no, I was reading two spirits at the same time.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: So I just want to kind of put that out there, that a lot of red flags with teachers I've seen is this one size fits all my way?
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: Or the highway Giant red flag to me?
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: And here's the thing Sometimes we have to play along and listen to these teachers so that we can learn the nuggets of gold we're supposed to learn from them.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: But do not think that mediumship is one size fits all, that it is this way or the only way.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: And I've said it before on this podcast.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: Do we really think that we are the best in mediumship that we're ever going to be at this moment?
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: And there's no room for growth?
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: Red flag, red flag, everybody.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: Number two with teachers.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: Wow, I'm gonna have to go.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: I have a big list.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna go faster.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: This one, apparently, that is my biggest qualm, my biggest source of anger for mediumship.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: Number two is this unavailable or disengaged teachers.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: So when, for example, you sign up for a class and you hop in breakout circles, they just kind of sit there and twiddle their thumbs or check their phones and or like, instead of like hopping in the breakout rooms or going, if it's in person, and going around and walking around and giving pointers or helping people with the exercise.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: I've seen that.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: People have told me about that.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: It's very aggravating.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: I would also say, like, just generally, making sure, making sure like students feel unsupported, right, like unavailable or disengaged teaching is a giant red flag.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: If they are telling you to do something and then like off to the races and go figure it out yourself, that is always giant red flag.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: If they are telling you to do something and then like off to the races and go figure it out yourself, that is always a red flag for me.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: Number three discouraging questions.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: And this probably goes back up to the first one, right about one size fits all but treating questions as the sign of, like, spiritual immaturity or resistance on the teaching.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: And what you'll see is that teachers, when they don't like the questions they respond with, they might dismiss it, they might get angry.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: That kind of react like, like their reaction isn't appropriate for the question that's asked.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: So it's just interesting because they they I've seen this happen, other people have mentioned this to me they really just evade direct questions, which to me is a really good sign that they're regurgitating what they've been taught without any complex thought or addition for themselves.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: So that's why I would say anyone that discourages questions or questioning, that means they're not being original and true and they're not to themselves and they're not opening up to their own team to see again is there a different or better way to do this?
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: If they don't have the answers as a whole, I'm okay with that.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: But don't discourage the questions, because that questions to me are always the space of engagement.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: So even if I don't know the answers, I know when students are asking questions they're engaged and I love questions.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: So I bring all the questions to me.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: Everybody, I love them.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: Number what are we on?
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: Number four is undermining student confidence.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: This is a big one.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: This is a big one.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: There are teachers out there who always squash their students' ego and talk down to them.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: There are teachers out there that when you do a reading with them there, that when you do a reading with them, there's always a gotcha at the end, to the point where the students would convene without the teacher after class and be like what the fuck just happened.
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: There are other examples of doing a practice reading.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: So an example of that would be doing a practice reading and afterwards the teacher saying did you know that you had two spirits?
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: Did you know?
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: They just let you fail.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: They see something wrong and they let you fail.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: And and they let you fail and then point out the failure to undermine your confidence in this work.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: Right, that's one.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: And then obviously you know undermining it by making disparaging, disparaging and judgmental remarks.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: And I've, I've seen, I've seen all of these, everybody.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: I've seen teachers that want to maintain their egoistic power and want to maintain their view as the powerful one.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: So they will purposely undermine students' confidence.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: Not a you problem, everybody, it's a teacher problem.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: So if someone is making you not feel good about your work, they are not a good teacher period, because they should be helping you solve problems instead of pointing out problems, oh God.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: And then the last one here is creating unhealthy competition, because we all know these teachers have their favorites, right, we all know that.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: And comparisons are just so frequent in this work and it drives me crazy because you might see some students that are just a little more adept at this work, right, and I see it in my own classes too.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: You have people that are not beginners, that are coming into beginner classes, and I'm totally fine with that, but the caveat is that beginners can't be judging themselves by the advanced people in the class, because we all start from day zero.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: We all start at some point from day zero, but when the teacher doesn't call that out and when the teacher gives a pat on the back to the person, that's a little bit better I'm going to say it that way than everybody else.
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: It creates competition, and that competition is such a killer of motivation and love for this work.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: So an example is that pointing out that some students are working harder than others, right, some people are doing more for their businesses than others.
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: Some people are more open to, I'm going to say, like doing their work publicly than others and like being celebrated for that, versus maybe the person that's working a full-time job, maybe they're a single mom or single dad, right, and?
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: And they're trying to do this work because it's their passion, while they're trying to live a life too.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: And I think when there's judgment and who's doing better, that's always a red flag for me and it just creates a very toxic learning environment that isn't meeting people where they're at or the realistic circumstances of their life.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: Because here's what's.
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: Here's the reality.
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: Most people that come to my mediumship classes, they do not want to do this professionally.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: They're doing it because they want to see if they can do it and that can take so many different paths for so many different people, and that, and, and they need to let it evolve naturally, whether they decide they want to just do this part time, whether they do it, they enjoy it and then they drop out because now they've proven to themselves and that makes them happy.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: Maybe they follow the breadcrumbs and they decide that maybe I do want to do this a little bit on a side hustle, or maybe they do want to do this full time.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: It doesn't really matter.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: But when you create that unhealthy competition, you essentially cut their potential off at their roots and tell them you're never going to be good enough because this other person's working harder than you, this person's better than you, so you're shit out of luck.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: And it's just so bad.
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: It's so bad everybody.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: I'm so done with it.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: And it's just so bad.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: It's so bad everybody.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: I'm so done with it.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: And then I also had this very interesting story that was given to me and I there's a little bit of my examples in here, but not as much.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: This is mostly from other people where they're shifting from, I'm going to say, from spirit to sales.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: Let's, let's, let's say it that way they're shifting from spirit to sales.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: So an example I like to give is that teachers who say they're going to teach something never do, and then they're like, oh, but sign up for the next class and I'll teach you it.
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: Then I have worked with salespeople.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: I know how this works.
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: So those are the.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: Those are the teachers I immediately said, said no, thank you, and left.
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: Because that's a huge red flag, especially in the sales space.
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: Because because it's this constant upsell, right while you're in classes, to go to other classes, and this is how they like, really try to hook you and keep you in there.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: And I'll admit, you know, while you're in my beginner's mediumship class, I'm going to say, if you want to pursue this opportunity, here is now this mediumship mastermind that I have in case you want to continue practice and growing.
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: But I'm mainly creating that for a space for people to work right it's.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: I don't really care about taking your money, I just I know that there's a need for practice circles and continued development in a positive, encouraging maybe hopefully non red flag space.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: Please, my students tell me.
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: If I have red flags I'm open to changing.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: But yeah, that constant upsell for, like, more and more classes, more and more things, drives me fucking batty.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: It drives me batty Especially if they incorporate a little bit of that lesson into the class and they're like hey, if you want to learn more, here you go.
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: Is it smart business?
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: Probably I don't think it's very ethical though.
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: Like, if they want to sign up for it, let them sign up for it and give them the information, but let them make the decision.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: Don't take up my class time to sell your next thing.
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: That drives me nuts.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: Number two, I would say, in this space too, with the from spirit to sales, is again that pressure to go public, and this came from somebody who is again that pressure to go public, and this came from somebody who it was kind of like a pyramid scheme, right.
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: So these and I've seen it, so I know it's not just this one person that told me, I know, it's multiple people, but I've seen it happen over and over again where you will train somebody, I'm going to say I'm the teacher, I'm going to put it on me as a perspective.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: I'm the teacher, I have a space where it's in person, right, and I'm going to tell you that I would love for you to go public and take clients.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: There's demand for this out there, so why don't you come and give me, you know, two or three sessions on a Saturday afternoon?
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: Give me two or three open spots, I'll fill it.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: You're going to get your practice.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: It's going to be lovely.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: But then what happens is that these people would be bringing in clients, right, and not necessarily getting paid for it, because in the teacher's eyes this is practice.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: I'm doing my students a favor.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, can you believe that?
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: Can you believe that?
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: So they're actually asking students to work for free so that they can bring in revenue to the shop for the teacher, for the owner.
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: Isn't that wild?
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: And it doesn't just go into these one-on-one sessions.
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: It can go with demonstrations, like, let me have you come in demonstrations.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: I will say, when that happened with me, I was generally paid for my services, but I know a lot of students who are not paid and it is kind of volunteer basis, with the pressure again the pressure of the teacher saying do this and you're going to get better.
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: So again, there's this weird power dynamic there.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: You don't want to piss off your teacher, you don't want to say no to your teacher.
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: So it is very unethical for teachers to pressure for free labor and, by the way, it's not even free because the student is giving up.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: Not only are they paying for, probably, the mentorship in the class, but they're also giving up their time, and time is money, everybody Time is money.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: So the fact that they're literally giving money to the teacher so that the teacher can get money is ridiculous.
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: It's ridiculous to me.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: So if you're a teacher that's asking you to donate services for free at the financial benefit of the teacher, fucking run, just fucking run, because it's fucking ridiculous.
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: And like this just gets into I'm gonna say general the general topic of, like, financial exploitation of students.
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: Because what you're gonna see and I've seen it happen a few times is that for these spiritual leaders, it becomes all about the money, and it really does.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: And and I'm I'm gonna try to walk a line here and not throw specific people under the bus, but when you're making decisions, I know we have to pay the bills, all right, I freaking know that, me of all people.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: I know that.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: But again, when you are trying to bring in more clients, more students right, and you're asking your students to go do that, that drives me fucking crazy, right?
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: And it's just like am I getting a discount for referral?
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: No, am I getting a discount if I sign people up?
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: No, not at all.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: I'm not getting a kickback by any means.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: But let me work for you for free as the teacher and then I will bring in more people for you to make money off of, right.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: So, like that, it's like unofficial sales, unpaid sales.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: It is a pyramid scheme.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: When it gets to that level, right, it is a pyramid scheme.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: So, and just know that even the amazing teachers that are out there that do come from this heart-centered perspective and come from this place of wanting to help people, wanting to do it the best, not really weren't worrying too much about money.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: Some of you know some of them stay in that space and I love that.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: Some of them need to raise prices to pay their bills.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: That's fine too, as long as they're still doing it from the heart while trying to pay their bills.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: But when you start shifting from um I want to help people to I need you to bring in money for me.
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: I need you to bring in sales and client.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: That's where the trouble is.
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: That's where the trouble is and again, it's from a basis of power.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: So whenever you feel pressured from someone a teacher, anyone to bring in more money, more clients, more referrals, like it's a red flag, I wouldn't say it's a run red flag, but it's a red flag.
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't say it's a run red flag, but it's a red flag.
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: Don't do things for free.
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: So, as we.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: Maybe the last point I want to make about the teachers is just pay attention to high turnover of students and be open to like hearing perspectives from previous students.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: Obviously, teachers are not going to post negative things students have said about them, right, like we're not.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: We're not going to do that.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry we're not going to, but I will say ask around, like there's mediumship groups in Facebook, on Reddit, like ask around for teachers for feedback of specific teachers.
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: I know that there's so many of us out there right now.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: I'm one of many, many, many different teachers out there, but it's always good to ask around to see if you can get feedback, referrals on specific teachers you're looking to sign up for.
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: But I think the biggest thing is the turnover, and I don't know how, from the outside, you measure this.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: I don't know how you ask about this, but I can tell you that the teachers that I always would steer you clear from are the teachers that have a high turnover of students.
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: They come in, they show up for one class and they never go back again and again.
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: You can't measure that, but I could tell you who those are because I've been in that space and I know other people have said the same thing.
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: They went to that class, they'll never go back.
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: They went to that class, they never go back.
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: I feel like there needs to be remember, like in college I'm probably dating myself a little bit but there used to be like a rate my professorcom.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: I feel like there should be like rate my spiritual leadercom, rate my spiritual teachercom, so that you can go and like see what reviews are.
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: And I understand you know there's journeys for all of these students and all of these teachers.
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: But just you're, you're in this energetic space, feel into the energy of that teacher, feel into the energy of the students.
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: Does it feel in alignment for you?
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: Cause that's probably your best bet to figure out if it's a good collaboration or relationship with this teacher or not, all right.
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: Last thing I want to mention here with the red flags is practice partners or sitters, which would be kind of like peers to you if you're doing this work, because they are a lot of reason why people leave this work.
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: So not only are the teachers a big red flag I think those are a lot easier to identify and call out the red flag but the practice sitters can be the absolute freaking worst and I've had a lot of fabulous, fabulous practice sitters, so it's more of the exception to it.
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: So I don't want you to be afraid if you have a horrible practice partner and don't let one horrible practice partner ruin your mediumship.
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: But they're out there too and these tend to be aspiring teachers, aspiring spiritual leaders who are again trying to make the money right In terms of these practice sitters.
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: But some examples of that are practice sitters who I'm going to say like hog the entire time right and or don't ask for feedback on their readings, they'll just go, they'll just talk, and they.
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: There was one woman in particular thank God I know she doesn't listen to me, she's she.
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: She read for me at a, at a workshop I was in and this woman had this air like I'm gonna send you her energy in case you read it.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: She had this air about her and it almost looked like she should have been on stage doing Shakespeare no fucking joke, because she was like she has her arms moving as she's reading.
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: She feels like she's should be reading this, this like poem, or this Shakespeare monologue, and it literally was a monologue.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: She just kept going on and on and on and on about a departed person that she was bringing through for this practice and like she's the one she took up the whole fucking time, I didn't really have time to read for her.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: She went way over into my time and she didn't stop at all to get feedback.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: Like she had this air of I'm right, here's all the information from spirit.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: Just, you sit back and enjoy this reading while I give it to you.
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: You're so lucky to receive this reading from me.
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: I couldn't take anything from her reading.
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: It was not a good reading.
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: It was not a good reading.
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: She's a leader of a spiritualist church near me.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: I think she might be the minister.
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: Okay, so maybe I placed her for you, but I'm just saying like it was so bad.
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: It was so bad.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: And even if I told her that I couldn't take the person, she would have told me I was wrong.
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: Right, that like this is what I'm talking about, about shitty practice partners.
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: So yeah, they exist out there and don't think that because she comes waltzing in wanting to quote Shakespeare with her hands moving, like she's like this, I don't even know.
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: It's like the matrix moving her hands Doesn't mean she's good at this work and it certainly doesn't mean that she's a spiritual leader, even though technically I believe she is.
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: So, watch out for your practice partners.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: Their craziness does not reflect on you.
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: I've also had other other people who have been paired with say no to everything I've said and I'll admit there have been readings where I don't do well, we all have our bad readings.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: But the difference with this one was the energy was off because they were saying no to me and I could feel like it was on purpose and I felt like it was competitive energy and it felt like it was stubborn, manipulative energy and I feel like, honestly, they could take some of the stuff, maybe not all of it, but they kept saying no and like crossing their arms because they want to be better than me.
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: They want to like the practice.
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: Partners can be such a pain in the ass because they want to be better than you.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: They think practice is competition and it's an opportunity for me to showcase how much better I am at this than you.
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: And some partners will stop at nothing to put you down and make you feel like you're less than and make you feel like you're not good at this work, because it makes them feel good and gifted and blessed that they're better at you than this work, and they will say no to feed their own egos, they will say no to your evidence to make themselves feel better.
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: I mean, and that's exactly what they do.
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: So I have to be honest with you.
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of practice sitters that create a real negative environment in this work and it just again reflects that competitive culture that is fostered by the teacher organization.
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: So I just want to kind of put that out there for you, because you will find shitty sitters tends to be in the same space where you're going to find shitty teachers, and those they kind of go hand in hand.
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: Not all the time, there's exceptions, but I'm going to tell you they tend to go together.
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: So with that I just wanted to toss out.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: Let's let's remove the negativity for a moment and I want to talk about some green flags with healthy spiritual leaders, and I mean literally.
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: It's the opposite of everything I've just said.
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: So I really think that a lot of the positive green flags are a teacher that admits that they don't know everything.
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: A teacher that admits that there's no one way to do this work.
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: You need to find your own way.
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: A teacher that's engaging, available, ask me questions, etc.
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: A teacher that wants you to ask questions right.
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: Like a teacher that is doing everything they can to boost your confidence, make you feel good about this work, make you feel like you're in here.
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: There's a reason.
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: Let me help you, let me support you.
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: Teachers that don't compare students to each other, right, in fact, like I, I always appreciated a teacher who I always looked up to and thought they were like.
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: I put my teachers on a pedestal some of them, and I always loved the teachers that would be like.
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: Here's this is.
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: I know I'm here now.
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: This is the reality of where you started.
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: Let me go back and tell you some stories about my development.
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: Let me tell you what that looked like.
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: Right, because it always made it real for me and realizing that they had they've been on this journey to they weren't just God gifted with these mediumship abilities that were perfect overnight, like they worked really fucking hard at it.
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: And I love the teachers that are transparent about what the process is and how it is difficult and how there are good readings, there are bad readings and it's just.
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: I don't know that's.
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: I just want to put that out there.
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: Okay, I also want to say, if I ever get to the point where I'm asking students, I don't know if I want to go there, but I just want to say, like I don't follow the teachers who are asking students to do things for free.
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: Practice is one thing, but trying to sell and like if you're doing things for free and you're benefiting the financials of your teacher, that's a, that's a red flag.
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: Don't do that.
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: So find teachers that if you're doing work for them, pay you appropriately.
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: Pay you a rate that you're comfortable with.
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: If they want to pay you but it's not a rate you're comfortable with, have that conversation and you don't have to say yes to that, right.
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: And I just want to say, like, find people that want you to be, do your best and be authentically.
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: You encourages your authentic development, you know, creates a safe space, etc.
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: So I think you probably know what the green flags are and I think the trouble is these are hard to find.
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: These are hard to find Because we can't, we don't know oftentimes that these teachers, these practitioners, are red flags until we've been there, and some of it is just let me eat my money and not go to another class again, and that's kind of how it works sometimes.
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: So, again, trust your intuition when something feels off and realize that true leadership empowers their students and does not diminish their students.
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: Their students, I mean really your spiritual journey belongs to you.
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: So I hope this episode helps you navigate some of these people a little bit and makes you hopefully validating you for maybe some of the experiences that you've went through, because even me, who hasn't had a lot of teachers every single one of them has flaws, like everyone does.
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: I'm sure I have flaws too, but I just want to validate that for you.
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: So, fool me once, shame on me, or no, fool me once, shame on you.
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: Fool me twice, shame on me, right, like that's the reality of this work.
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: Just because you've engaged with them once doesn't mean you need to continue.
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: All right, I'm going in circles here, so I hope this episode helps.
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: I hope it was clarity.
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: It was a long one, holy shit.
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: Looking at the time now, no wonder it felt like I was going on and on forever.
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: I hope you enjoyed this very long episode on a Friday.
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: Cheers to you and your amazing spiritual journey and hopefully your ability to find out these giant red flags without needing this episode.
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: But for those of you that are in the thick of it, don't confront, just turn around and go the other way.
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: Just walk away, find a new teacher.
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: All right, sending you all the love, I hope you have a wonderful Friday and a wonderful weekend.
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: Take care.