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Sorry, Not Sorry · Everyone Has An Ex

• 0:10
  Speaker 1: You're listening to a mother Mer podcast, Muma Me your
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: acknowledges the traditional owners of the land and waters. This
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: podcast is recorded on first love. Remember that, the innocent fun,
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: the inseparability, the rush of emotions, and all those forgettable firsts.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: For Susie and John, that was exactly what it was like.
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: They were just very similar, grew up in the same town,
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: are the same friends and families. Knew each other, which
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: is easy. He treated me so well does my high
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: school sweetheart. We loved each other so much. Every day
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: was blissed with him. Yeah, we loved each other very much.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: The thing about first love, though, is that one of
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: the firsts is the breakup, a rite of passage, but
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: never an easy one. So what happens when you go
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: through two breakups at once, one with your ex and
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: another with someone you never imagine could or should break
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: your heart?
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: I didn't anybody at all. It's like I found them
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: that night, and then they just continued on living their
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: merry life, doing everything that me and him used to do.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: And then no one sat me down, no one said anything,
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: no one mentioned a theme. It was just it was
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: a weird, just a weird shock. I don't know how
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: anybody could do that.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: I'm Georgia Love and this is everyone has an ex
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: Come with me as we dive into a collection of
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: unconventional stories about relationships past through the eyes and the
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: hearts of the very people who lived them. At sixteen,
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: Susie was just your typical teenage girl. She was the
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: youngest of five kids. There was her sister, Anne, who
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: was fifteen years older, and her best friend, along with
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: three brothers. She had plenty of friends and enjoyed the
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: simple life of a small town. Things were good and
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: right around there, boys started catching her eye, especially one
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: in particular named John.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: We went to the same high school in a small
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: country town. I always noticed him at school, but we
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: never really spoke. It wasn't until after. It wasn'tuntil after
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: we met at a party, a house party once. Yeah,
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: we just clicked instantly. Basically, we never really spoke at school,
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: but when we spoke at the party, we just got
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: on so well.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: From that point on, they were pretty much official. John
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: was a couple of years older, but they shared the
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: same interest and their young love had all the right
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: ingredients fun, adventure and plenty of loves.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: We were inseparable. So the minute he'd knock off from
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: work or I'd finish work, he'd come over to my house.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: I'd go to his house. Itill summer. We'd go to
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: the beach, go to the movies, always out to dinners.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: Back then in the small town, there was always parties
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: on the weekend. We just had a blast together. I
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: went on his family holidays, he'd come on mine. Just
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: every single minute when we're together, and we just cleaped like.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: There was never any issues. We never fought, We're never jealous,
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: all the you know, the things would do when we're
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: of teenagers. We'd love to go to music festivals. We'd
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: go to all the same parties. I think a small
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: country town to everyone knew everybody, so you go to
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: a party and just be the same, like fifty people. Yeah,
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: we just got on so well. He was an apprentice
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: and I worked in an office, and we would just
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: spend every minute we went at work, we'd spend it together.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: We'd go to all the parties together at the small town.
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: He'd take me out for dinners all the time, heaps
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: of movies, anything fun. Really, We'll just go on random
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: road trips. I mean, we were young. I was sixteen,
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: he might have been nineteen. See, whenever we went at work,
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: we were just together. I didn't have my license, so
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: he did. He drove me everywhere. We'd go to the city,
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: just yeah, on the train, any adventure. He was very adventurous.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: He would go to Taife about twenty minute drive when
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: he was an apprentice, and he took a backstreet one
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: day by himself and he saw going left one way
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: was the street with my name was the street name,
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: and then going the opposite direction was the street name
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: was his name. Well, like, that is so wild, what
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: are the chances of that? He came home and showed
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: me the photo on his phone and we all laughed
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: about it, and we went to tape. The next week
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: when he came home, he had the two street signs
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: in his car and he told them and we hung
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: him up, like hung them up in the garden and
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: it was like this big joke. And they were just
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: right next to each other, our two names. It was
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: just and they're still there. I drive past them sometimes
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: and see the signs of life. They were good times,
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: always having a laugh, It was always fun, always joking around. Yeah,
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: they were happy times. Yeah, We're just very similar, grew
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: up in the same town and the same friends and families,
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: knew each other. It was just easy. He treated me
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: so well. John was definitely a part of our family.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: I was a part of his family, and yeah, John
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: was a part of mine, just my high school sweetheart.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: We loved each other so much. Every day was blissed
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: with him. Yeah, we loved each other very much.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: Two years into their relationship, Susie caught a serious case
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: of wonderlust. Ready to spread it, she set his sights
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: on the adventure of a lifetime, the solo Journey Overseas.
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: After I graduated high school, I had friends that live
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: in Canada and America, so I decided that I'm going
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: to go save up for a year and go traveling.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: So I graduated school, saved up, and flew out. We've
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: been together two years by this point, and I was
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: gone for nine months, which was a very long time.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: There were times where I thought maybe I shouldn't go
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: because I'm so inseparable, but he couldn't come because he
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: was an apprentice. I just I think I can wait
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: around for like two or three years, so I thought
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: I'll just go. I think I was so naive. I thought,
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: nine months, you know, it won't be that hard. But
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: I remember the minute I flew out. I landed in
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: Singapore and I just had like a twelve hour layover
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: and I just cried in the airport for twelve hours,
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: thinking how am I going to do this? I've made
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: the biggest mistake. I already missed him and missed my family.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: And I was only day one out of nine months.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: So out of that nine months, for five of those months,
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: five or six months, I was in Canada. I'd never
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: seen snow, and they live in northern Canada where it's
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: like minus fifty every day in winter. We did skiing,
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: snowboarding on Skoodoo, a lot of house parties very similar
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: to hear, but the weather was just so extreme. I'd
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: never experienced anything like that, leaving here in summer and
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: landing there in the middle of winter. The highlight of
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: the Canada trip was probably me and her flu and
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: saw the Spice Scales and concert, which was so amazing.
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: After Canada, I flew to the US and I stayed
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: with some of my dad's friends for a couple of months,
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: and then I had a pen pal who had never
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: met who lived in London. Yeah, it was a great time.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: So when I was away, unfortunately the phone I had
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: didn't work where they lived. It was they lived quite
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: remote in northern Canada, so and I think Facebook was
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: just becoming a thing. So we were old school. We'd
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: have to email each other and I have to call
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: like his parents' house and get a landline because it
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: was twelve hours difference. I have to make sure I'm
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: calling at the right time, and he was at work,
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: so contact was pretty minimal when I first got there,
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: which I really struggled with not being able to just
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: pick up the phone and text or call him. One
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: my phone didn't work and two there was no signal.
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: So I did struggle with that, just going from like
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: twenty four seven contact or with him to really nothing
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: and knowing him on the other side of the world.
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: Just if I wanted to fly home, it's going to
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: take me three days to get home. And when I
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: was away for that nine months, thoughts to he crossed
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: my mind, like maybe I should just fly home because
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: I missed him and my family so much. But then
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: the other half of me it was like, they're so silly,
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: You've got to just see this out I missed him
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: so much and he missed me, and when I was away,
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: it all seemed so normal. He never we never had
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: any issues. Yeah, we just couldn't wait to be back
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: together again. We had plans to get married and have
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: kids and just be together forever.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: And when it was time to come home, the old
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: saying rang true. Absence really did make the heart grow fonder.
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: I remember crying on the plane from Singapore to Perth,
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: just crying so long, sneaking I'm finely going to see
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: him again because we're together NonStop for two years, and
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: then to have a big, nine months long distance relationship
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: was really hard. He picked me up from the airport
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: when I landed. I remember being away for nine months.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: That was just the best feeling of getting off the
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: plane after nine months and seeing him again. The joy
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: to see him was just so overwhelming. We both just
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: cried at the airport, like we just it'd been such
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: a long time, nine long, long months. We just said
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: we miss each other so much and that will never
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: be a part for that long again. I just got
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: back into work. He was still an apprentice, so he
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: went back to work. Everything was just so normal. I
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: sloted back in with my friends. Everything was great.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: The time of part at such a young age has
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: a way of stirring questions and awakening new desires for
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: life's possibilities. Around four months after Susie's return, she found
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: herself seeing her relationship with John in a different light.
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: I suppose being away for so long, not only did
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: I miss him, but also realized, yes, you know so
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: many more years ahead of me that I don't need
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: to be settling down so young. And yeah, I felt
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: the same for him. I thought we both needed just
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: have fun. I guess, have fun with our friends and
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: have fun when we're young, not be so serious. I
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: was nineteen by this time, he was twenty one. We're
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: both just so young that I'd only never known him
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: since I was like sixteen. I only ever knew him
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: as a boyfriend. I didn't know anything else apart from him, So, yeah,
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: it was an accumulation of feelings. I think he was
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: feeling the same, so I thought I'd just bring it
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: up and just see how he feels. And in the
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: car we're just driving along, I just said, I think
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: I think you feel the same. I think we just
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: need to have some time apart we're drifting apart. We're
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: not as close as we used to be. And by
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: this time, you know, all our friends had sort of
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: moved away, and the town wasn't the same. It wasn't fun. See,
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: I thought, we'll just spend some time apart. I just
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: put it out there to see what he could say,
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: and he agreed. He thought, yep, it makes sense what
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: you're saying. And being an apprentice, he was locked into
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: that job, couldn't travel, didn't really want to travel. But
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: on me, on the other hand, I wanted to just
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: see the whole world. So we're just going in different directions.
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: He was very working, family based. I just wanted to
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: see the world and not really be tied down by anything,
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: especially so young. Yeah, from that day and we sort
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: of just was just a mutual split, which after two
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: and a half years it was sad, but I think
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: we're both fine with them. And I said, well, it's
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: not forever. We can just split for now and then
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: see we might go back together later in the future,
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: who knows. So it was sad for both of us,
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: but we definitely felt like it was the right thing
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: to do at that time. I suppose I didn't want
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: to be hit with the reality that we might not
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: get back together. So I just always took it as, yeah,
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: we'll just have a break and then we'll get back together.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: And I guess he was the same. He just thought,
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: we'll see what happens. The weeks after, I do remember
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: that was really hard. It was really sad. I didn't
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: know what to do with my life because I just
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: I'd only known him for so long. I've always had
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: a big group of friends, like girlfriends, so I started
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: spending more time with them. But it was really hard.
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: It was really lonely trying and not pick up my
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: phone and message him or call him. He obviously felt
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: the same. There was a few texts back and forth,
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: just like check with each other, But think that made
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: it harder as well, which is like a reminder of
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: what we weren't and we just, yeah, slowly, just over
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: the weeks, I guess just grew apart even more.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: It had been three months since Susie and John split.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: While it was sad and difficult at times, she had
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: no regrets. She was embracing her freedom, spending time with
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: her girlfriends, savoring unforgettable nights out, and on one of
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: those nights, the word memorable was taken to a whole
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: new level.
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: My friends and I were going out to the bars
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: and the clubs, and we had to stop by my
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: best friend's parents' house. She lived in the same small town.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: So we drove to her parents' house, pulled in the driveway,
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: and my sister, she lived two doors down from my
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: friend's parents house, And when we put up to her
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: friend's parents house, I saw his car was parked in
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: my sister's driveway, his being John's. I thought, that's a
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: bit strange. It was a Friday night, I remember that clearly.
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: I don't know why is Carl would be at her house.
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: I mean, we're all close and were together, like if
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: families are. And my sister so she's fifteen years older
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: than me at the time, I was nineteen. Boyfriend or
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: ex boyfriend at that time he was twenty one and
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: she was thirty three. So I just got out of
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: the car and walked down to her house and inside
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: the loundry and light was on, and I peered through
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: the front door was like a frosted glass, and they
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: were just having sex in the one hundred room, and
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: I was just like, what the outside hell? I just
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: banged on the door so so hard right inside, just
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: screaming like what are you guys doing? It was such
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: a shock. I'd never expected anything like that in my life.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: I was just screaming at them both, like what are
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: you doing? Like I had so many questions, how long
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: has it been going on? Like so many questions. I
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: was basically a mess, though, So I just ran out
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: of the house, ran back to my friends. We jumped
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: in the car and they were like, what's wrong? And
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: I told them and they were just as mind blown
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: as I was. So my mind first went to I've
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: just been away for nine months, out of the sear
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: of what has been going on? When I was ever
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: seas And I ran back to the to my friends
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: and we went out that night. Needless to say, we
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: had a very big night. I was just such a
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: mess all night, Like I was laughing about it, and
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: then I was crying about it. I just saw what
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: was happening. Didn't tell anyone else. I didn't tell any
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: other family or anything that night, because my sister and
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: I were so close for my whole life. It was
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: just so unexpected. I did come back to his house
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: the next morning. I hadn't slept all night, went out
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: all night, come back the next morning to his house,
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: and I was so angry. I went around to his house,
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: went into his bedroom and got a pair of scissors
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: and cut up all of his clothes and threw them
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: all over the room. That felt good. Break my heart
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: in half. I'll cut you close en half.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: But after that fleeting moment of vindication, reality set in
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: and Susie was left questioning what she'd seen without any answers.
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: I didn't reach out to them at all. Not only
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: did I not want to see them together, I wanted
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: to hear what they had to say as to why
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: they were doing this, But again I didn't. It was
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: so hurtful. I didn't really care. Like the damage had
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: been done by that point, I didn't get in contact
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: with them at all. I thought they would get in
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: contact with me and at least maybe sit me down
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: and say that we're so sorry. Any communication would have
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: been good, but I just I just had nothing. I
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: text one of my older brothers and I was like,
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: you're never gonna bleeve what's happened? And I'm assuming word
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: just got round. I guess Mum and Dad found out.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: Probably just snowboard from there, and yeah, being such a
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: small country town, it didn't take long for everyone to
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: find that out, probably the next day what had happened
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: the night before. They just carried on like normal, like
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: they were together from that night on or maybe before,
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: I don't know, they were just an ite. She lost
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: a lot of friends, especially all my friends. But again
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: being in a small town, yeah, she lost a lot
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: of respect a lot of people in the town. They
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: just would see them together and just think, why are
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: you guys together? Like they used to be your little
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: sister's boyfriend, and now you're together.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: As words spread and with John and Susie's sister and
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: now openly a couple, Susie found it increasingly difficult to
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: live anything resembling a normal life.
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: I didn't hear anything from either of them for days, weeks,
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: possibly months. The weeks and the months after that were
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: really hard. I didn't view from anybody at all. It's
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: like I found them that night, and then they just
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: continued on living their merry life, doing everything that me
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: and him used to do with my niece and nephew.
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: And then no one sat me down, no one said anything,
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: no one mentioned a thing. It was just it was
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: a weird, just a weird shock. I don't know how
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: anybody could do that. I was in shock for like
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: weeks and weeks, and then I was super sad. It's
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: used to cry like every day when I'd see them
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: together or you know, pop up on Facebook. I can
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: to be a photo of them too. I just went
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: down this spiral of how could my sister, my oldest sister,
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: do that to me? I could never ever picture doing
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: that to someone, not only a sister, but so much
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: younger than you two, you know, fifteen years. You're such
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: a big age gap. Not that that matters between those two.
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: I just went down this downward spiral of you know,
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: why does he like her and not me? And yeah,
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: all those silly things like yeah, what's wrong with me?
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: And what's better about her? And compared myself a lot
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: with her, and just went back and forth for quite
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: a long time. I was depressed for so long. I
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: think people just you know, small town might to go
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: so like, oh I saw I saw them at the shop,
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: So I saw them at the movie. He's like, how
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: are you going? Get it? Be that whole like sympathy thing,
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: which was also hard within me. Finding them in that
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: first seeing them together. I don't think I saw them
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: at all. I think I just stayed. I went to
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: work and come home. I didn't go anywhere, and that
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: was part of the down was spiral. I just really
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: secluded myself. I didn't want to see them. I didn't
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: want to bump into them at the shops because how
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: awk would that be. So I think I just stayed
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: to myself, which was not healthy. Well.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: Susie bore the brunt of Anne and John's relationship. The
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: ripple effect on their tight knit family was undeniable. It
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: created confusion, especially for Anne's children, Susie's beloved niece and nephew,
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: to whom she was incredibly close.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: My niece was the older one, she's probably four. She's
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: to say, oh, you know, that was my Auntie's boyfriend
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: and now he's mummy's boyfriend. Very confusing for the poor kids.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: And I didn't know what to say to them. My
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: brothers definitely rallied around me when it all happened. This
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: is on the youngest too. It's like I'm the baby
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: mom and dad was awkward for them. Mom didn't really
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: know where to stand, whether not that we took sides,
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: but I think everyone just went along with it, because like,
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: what else are they going to do. Either they don't
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: talk to her either, and then the whole family's divided,
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: or we will just sort of go along with it,
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: like to lunches and dinners and celebrations. Everyone just sort
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: of went along with it. My oldest brother when it
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: happened my birthday that year, he knew how much of
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: a mess I was. He took me to Barley on
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: a holiday, just him and I, and we had such
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: a good time, just the two of us, just one
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: on one. He he was just like, I don't know
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: how she could do this to you. It was so
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: hard for everyone to watch. They just knew how upset
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: I was all the time, but then they were so
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: happy together. It was just really, really hard. Should someone
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: have stepped in and said, you know, you guys need
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: to split up? Whatever, I guess it wasn't anyone else's
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: place to say, so we all just went along with it.
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: But it was so hard for everyone to watch.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: Five months after Susie had caught her sister and John together,
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: and after months of silence and deliberate avoidance, their first
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: in person encounter came it what's meant to be the
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: most wonderful time of the Christmas.
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: I wasn't sure if they were coming or not, and
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: I was just in such a fragile staye in. They
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: walked and it was just like a big punch to
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: the face, like this is still happening. And I was
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: just like, Oh, here we go. And they sat down
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: and then I think someone asked them, what do you
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: guys been up to? And I was at the other
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: end of the table, and they said, oh, yeah, we've
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: just got back from a holiday. I think they went
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: to Bali, you know, took the kids and they had
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: a great time, and it was like so amazing. The
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: kids had such a fun time, and I just just
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: sat there and started balling. I was like that should
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: be me. But yeah. Then I just got up and
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: left and drove home. I just couldn't handle hearing there.
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: I just couldn't sit there and be fake. I just
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: hearing their story was I was just like, I can't
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: do this. It really felt like a slip in the face.
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: Everything they said either him and I had been there
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: before or we were planning to go there. They just
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: acted so normal, like, hey, everyone, merry Christmas, and I
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: was just like, what on earth is happening with me
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: in my life? Just couldn't believe that I was sitting
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: there looking across the table them to just chatting happily,
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: and they were just they were just loving life, and
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: I was just miserable. I was so surprised. I was
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: completely blindsided. I had no idea they were going to
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: turn up. No one warned me, probably because I didn't
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: know how to warm me, I suppose. I think probably
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: ten seconds into the conversation, I just burst into tears,
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: and it was quite obvious at the table. Everyone was
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: looking at me like hmmm. No one really knew what
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: to do, a way to look, and so I just
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: got up and walked out. I just thought, I can't
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: be here. Christmas is ruined. I just drove home and
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: just cried the whole way home. Basically, I think that
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: was at that point I was I can even have
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: some boundaries. It's upsetting me naturally too much, and I
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: just need to stop going to these events or get
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: them to not come because I just simply can't. I
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: can't handle it. So yeah, I just put some boundaries up.
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: At that point, I just completely wiped him, like I
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: just thought he was the biggest piece of shit. I
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: was just so angry at her because she's family, but
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: him I didn't really care about, so I thought, well,
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: he's just another ex now, But yeah, I was her.
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: I was really really angry, you upset at I just
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: kept playing around in my head like who does that
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: to their baby sister. I definitely fast tracked that breakup
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: is for sure. We could have got back together. We
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: could have then breaken up again, and I could have
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: been sad for another year. But this definitely fast tracked it.
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: The dialogue between John and I when he was with
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: my sister and when we'd see each other, he wouldn't
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: look at me. It's just like, deep down he knew
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: what he was doing was wrong. It was like I
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: like I never existed, Like the two years we had
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: together was just nothing, and now he's with her and
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: we'd see each other, he wouldn't even look at me
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: in the face. It's like it was just a real
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: Like what we had wasn't even real. After that Christmas,
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: I think I might have got off social media as well,
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: because I couldn't handle just seeing the happy photos and
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: everyone hanging out and being lovey dovey. Yeah, I really
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: just secluded myself. I know, they went on multiple overseas holidays.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: It's basically just everything that me and him were going
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: to do and that we wanted to do, they did instead.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: It really hurt with my niece and nephew got involved.
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: Like not only was it super confusing them because I
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: was so young, but then they were having fun as
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: a family, like I used to babysit them, and like
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: me and him used to babysit them, and it was
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: us four, and all of a sudden, it was them four,
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: and I was like on the outer.
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: It had been the most traumatic year of Susie's life.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: She hadn't just lost her boyfriend, she lost her sister,
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: her best friend in the bond with her niece and
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: nephew that meant everything. Heartbroken, she knew she couldn't stay,
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: so she left for the city, desperate to escape the pain,
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: and it was here that she met Dave.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: It was love at first sight, like when we locked
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: eyes has done so like Cheezy, it locked eyes across
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: the bar. I was just like, yeah, I like love him.
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: It's just the weirdest feeling. And I had my best
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: friend was there at the time, and I said to her,
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: that's my few jar husband. I approached him at the bar.
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: He is super shy and doesn't like situations like big
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: groups of people, so I approached him. We just got talking.
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: I got his number, and he's very anti social media,
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: so I couldn't stalk him on Facebook unfortunately. Yeah, just
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: text him the next day and we just started hanging out.
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: And our first day, he took me out to a
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: really fancy restaurant in the city. It was so beautiful,
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: was like nothing had ever been on before. And I
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: feel like the more dates I went on with him
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: and the long girls with him, he definitely healed me
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: in a sense. Just I felt so safe, like you
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: feel like he saved me, which is also such a
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: dark place. It was such a dark place when I
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: met him, and obviously I told him everything that happened.
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: I think, right place, right time, right person. It was
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: just meant to be. There's the only way to describe that.
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: It's just when I met him, spent time with him,
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: I just knew that that was my actual forever. Everything
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: just felt more in line once I met him. It's
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: like nothing before him really mattered. Then it was just
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: everything I thought with my ex. I just thought everything
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: I had with him was so amazing. Well, this is
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: like another level of amazing. He just yeah, his next
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: level amazing And I don't need to dwell on the
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: past because everything with him is perfect.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: And it seemed back home everything was just as perfect
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: with Anne and John.
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: So Mum bless her. I was always trying to get
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: my sister and I back together, just on like a
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: social level so it wasn't as awkward at family events,
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: and so she invited me to lunch with my sister
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: and my niece, and I thought, yeah, I'll go along.
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: And then soon as we sat down at the cafe,
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: my niece turned to me and said, Mom's got to
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: ring on her finger, and I just obviously knew exactly
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: what that meant. My whole body was like, oh, I
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: just felt so sick, and like I think I went
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: probably went really pale, and then it was out there
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: then so then she put her hand on the table
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: and said, yeah, like John and I are engaged, and
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: I just burst into tears, like this is beyond ridiculous.
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: And then a small cafe, I think everyone was looking
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: at me, and so I just got up, walked outside
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: and that just could not stop sobbing. I just like
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: walking down the street. I think Mum might have come
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: after me and was like, you know, it's okay, blah
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: blah blah. I was like, it's not okay. Mom was
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: trying get us all back together. I don't even think
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: I went back to lunch. I think I just went home.
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: I was just like, this can't be happening. It was
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: just so painful.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: But not long after, Susie had some exciting years of
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: her own.
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: About six months after that, I got engaged will only
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: together for a year. When my husband proposed and we
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: backed the same restaurant. They took me out for the
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: first date and I had no idea it was going
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: to happen. We just sat down at dinner and he
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: just pulled out a ring and I was like so shocked,
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: and he just he had this big speel. But at
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: the time I was just like, I guess it's blacked
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: out for a minute. And at the end he said,
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: will you be my wife? And I was like, oh
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: my god. Yes. So I had a big engagement party
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: and they both came, and every family event or celebration
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: was just so awkward. And then when my husband and
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: I got married, I thought I'd be the bigger person
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: and invite the both of them. I was still together.
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: I just thought, I've just got to for the sake
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: of the family, I'll just invite him, you know. And
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: then the wedding rolls around and she didn't even bring him.
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: She told me that she didn't want her sister walk
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: down the aisle and seeing her ex in the crowd,
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: And to me, I'm like, well, isn't that a sign
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: that you shouldn't be together? You know, based on what
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: had happened leading up to the wedding, I just thought
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: she would have brought him along like every other event,
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: And maybe that was a turning point for her, maybe
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: thinking maybe she thought, why am I still with him
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: if I feel awkward bringing him to bigger fans like this,
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: Maybe she thought they should be together at that point.
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: Because for her to say that was I was a
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: bit shocked. I was like, oh, you've brought him to
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: every other event, but and I did. At that point,
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: I didn't care walking down the aisle seeing him in
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: the crowd. That didn't bother me. I was so passed
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: her by that point. It really wouldn't have bothered me,
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: but the fact she didn't bring him to the wedding
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: maybe she thought this is wrong.
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: Life went on, Susie was happily married and Anne was
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: engaged to John until one day.
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: So I was on the phone to Mum one night.
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: It must have been about three years they've been together
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: at this point. I think, well, just chatting, chatting away,
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: I think, and then just Mum just dropped it in
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: there that they had split up. I think Mum did that,
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: so it wasn't such a big shock to me, and
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh, hang on, but go back and
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: tell me more. And she just said they've broken up.
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: I wasn't relieved, I wasn't surprised. I felt nothing. Actually
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: felt a little bit sad because then I knew, because
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: he was such a great guy, I knew that when
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: they broke up, she would then be going through what
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: I went through. So I felt a little bit sad
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: for her, but not really. I think I was so
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: happy with my now husband. I just didn't care. I
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: didn't care what they were doing. I didn't care where
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: they were or what they were up to. When they
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: broke up, I was like, oh, yeah, it just it
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: didn't bother me. I think that's probably like a lot
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: of the reason why I'm so thankful I met mind
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: our husband, because nothing in the past mattered. Then when
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: they broke up, I thought, all right, sucks for her,
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: and the wedding obviously never went ahead. They broke up before.
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: I'm not even sure if they had plans to actually
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: go through with the wedding. I mean, who would turn up.
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: Right after three years together. Anne and John's break up
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: barely stirred conversation within the family. In fact, it brought
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: a sense of relief, as though the strain of managing
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: family dynamics had finally reached its peace, then lifted. The
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: awkwardness was gone and with any need to ever speak
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: of it again.
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: Yes, Mom and Dad are the piece keepers, that is
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: for sure. I think once I'd split, everyone just looked
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: at it and thought that was a big mistake. Let's
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: just all move on. No point sort of rehashing it,
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: because once I split everyone he wasn't spoken about it again,
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: not to me or not to anyone that I know.
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: Everyone sort of just moved on. It was just a
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: really weird space in time, a couple of weird years
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: that no one brings up again. It was just like
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: that happened, and that was weird, Like my niece and
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: nephew haven't never bought it up. My mom and dad
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: never brought it up. It was just like that happened,
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: and now that's gone, and then let's just get over that,
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: because that was really strange.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: As for a reconciliation with her sister Anne.
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: So our relationship before this all went down was just
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: like any other sister. So when I was away for
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: nine months, she'd send me constant photos of the kids.
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: I'd babysits, my niece and nephew. We were so so close.
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: We're just a close knit family all round. And that's
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: probably why it was such a shock, because I just thought,
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: where where is this come from? We were just like
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: any others is just yeah, close best friends. Yeah, probably
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: plays a big part in why it was so such
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: a shock, And so I guess in a way, I
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: lost him, But then I also lost her as well
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: because I could never especially with no apology, I could
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: never go back and be friends with her again. So
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: it was like a double whammy. I lost him and
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: I also lost her. That was really hard to deal
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: with as well, just one big loss. She's a great person,
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: very funny, lighthearder, just wants to have fun, always having
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: fun with the kids, always dancing, laughing, singing. Just yeah,
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: I think that's probably why me and her are so similar.
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: That's clearly why I guess he fell in love with
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: her too. We're just, yeah, very similar because we're sisters.
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: You know, I do miss her a lot. I do
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: miss our fun times together back then, before this all happened,
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: We've spoken on and off over the years, just like
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: when it's to do with the kids or when it's
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: a birthday or something. Then we went through stages where
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: we were friends, but it was just I guess I
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: was like fake in obaby because the hurt. It was
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: just next level. Now we're not too bad. I would
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: just text back and forth for a birthday or something.
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: But it never has been the same and it never
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: will be the same. She's never even properly apologized. She
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: never sat me down and was like, she just never
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: sat me down and said she's so sorry for what
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: she did with Suret's And I think, you know, a
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: year or two up it happened that even then that's
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: too little, too lay. So I think I've just had
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: so much hurt that I just I'm at the point
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: now where I'm fine, like I'm over it. But it's
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: the words when I think about it, that was the
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: downward spiral. It was just a really tough probably a
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: year after it happened to this day of seventeen years
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: later or whatever it is, it's just no apology still.
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: So I'm fine with it now, but that took a
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: long time to get over to, maybe like five or
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: six years, to get past the fact that I haven't heard
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: from anybody. I do miss her and wish things were different,
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: but unfortunately that's just yeah, I wish. I just wish
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: I had an apology. Maybe might have been easier to
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: get past, quicker to get past, but the fact that
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: no one ever apologized or said anything to me just
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: made it ten times harder. Well, about a year and
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: a half ago, our mom died suddenly and we had
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: to come together for that, which was hard in many ways.
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: But she did say to me, look, I'd love to
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: I'd love to be your sister again. I'd love to
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: let you know, get back together. Because her son, my nephew,
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: lives with my husband and I she does want to
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: get back together, like just even just on a more
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: communication level. But I just text back and said, I
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: just can't do that. It just hurts me too much
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: to think what you've put me through when I was
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: so young. I just can't get past that. And maybe
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: if there was an apology, maybe i'd be better, but yeah,
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: I just can't get past it. So she's tried, but
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: I have been talking sixteen years later. It's just far
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: too late. Now she's tried, but I just I can't.
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: I just can't do it.
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: And John, well, he's well and truly ancient history.
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: He popped up on my Facebook as people you may know.
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: Because it's been so long, it's been sixteen years. I
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: thought maybe we could just be adult friends on Facebook.
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: So I added him as a friend and he's now wife.
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: So he's now married with two kids. His now wife
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: sent me a message straight away on Facebook saying clear
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: stay away from him. And I thought, he has clearly
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: told her things about what's happened in the past. How
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: does she even know who I am? That was weird too.
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: I just thought you didn't know who I am, Like
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: I've done nothing wrong again, I just yeah, deleted the
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: friend requests and thought, nah, never ever going there again.
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: I do wonder, like when I added him on Facebook
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: and his now wife messaged me that, I thought, I
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: wonder what he's told her, what he's telling people, what happened.
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: Maybe he's told everyone that I'm the bad person and
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: that's why we split. I don't know, because surely the
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: average person would regret that, right, But I don't know.
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: Maybe some people do things like that and don't regret
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: it at all. I'd like to think he regrets it
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: and has some remorse, but certainly haven't heard anything.
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: Sixteen years after the shock and heartbreak, Susie still doesn't
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: truly know when or how it all happened, nor received
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: an apology, and while the hurt has never fully faded,
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: her journey has also been marked with plenty of silver linings.
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: And never got to the answers to those questions. And
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: I don't think. I don't think I want to know.
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: I never asked, so I guess I'm too scared of
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: the answer. What if they were together for those nine
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: months when I was away, that would just be another
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: devastating blow. I think if I got an apology today,
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: it was just it's just far too long gone. Maybe
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: a year after I would have been like, okay, but
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: maybe two years. But yeah, after ten fifteen years, I
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: just think I think she clearly doesn't care. Any normal
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: person would apologize. I would have thought, so, yeah, it's
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: far too long. Now it is a shame because I
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: do miss her. Probably the worst thing out of all
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: of it is that my sister had two kids. It's
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: sad when I think about it. My niece and nephew.
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: I missed them so much.
• 34:22
  Speaker 3: I didn't see them for like, well three years they
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: were only young, or like one and four.
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: I didn't see my niece is nephew for so long.
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: That's probably that's part.
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: Now I look back, it's just not being able to
• 34:33
  Speaker 3: see them because I wouldn't never go to their house
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: because it was just horrible. Like now I look back
• 34:37
  Speaker 3: between him and her. I'm over that, but I'm not
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: over the fact that I missed out so much time
• 34:42
  Speaker 3: with them. I miss years with them, and that still
• 34:45
  Speaker 3: hurts now. I've definitely grown since this all happened, that's
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: for sure. It's character building it in a sense. I've
• 34:53
  Speaker 3: been through a lot of hard times.
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: That my older brother died in twenty seventeen suddenly, and
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: then losing mum. It's been like like I'm on in
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: my early thirties, but it's just been like one thing
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: after another. And I'm just hoping that the next few
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: years are next five or ten years just smith sailing,
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: that's for sure. The last ten years has been super,
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: super tough. But again, my now husband and the two kids,
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: they keep me very busy. So I feel like sometimes
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: like I haven't thought about this story or him for
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: so long because I've just been so busy, especially with
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: the kids. I think that's good. I think if you're
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: going through something tough, keeping busy is the number one
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: keeping in mind. Busy, keeping busy in the morning, waking up,
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: have a purpose in the morning. That's got me through
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: for sure. Probably the only thing I regret is not
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: maybe saying to them but when it all happened, maybe
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: saying like, what are you guys doing, Like maybe telling
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: them how I felt like I'm so hurt by this,
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: you know, severely depressed, like this is horrible for me.
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: I'm having to move away, move towns because I can't
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: see you guys together. Maybe if I'd said that to them,
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: But then again, you know, maybe that would just be
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: more hopeful for me rehashing things and not made any difference.
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: So probably the only regret would be maybe just not
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: telling them how I feel. To me, it was obvious
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: how I felt, but maybe not to them. My husband
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: is the most amazing, patient, loving, caring person Like things
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: that I've been through in life, He's just been there
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: for me a thousand percent, and I think it all
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: stems from when we met, you know, being through this trauma.
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: He is just yeah, so patient, kind, It's just nothing's
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: the problem. We've been together for sixteen years. You know,
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: I've never had a fight, We never argue. It's just
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: the cruisiest, easiest relationship I could have ever pitched. And
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: we have two beautiful little girls. So yeah, life is
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: life is fine. Now, life is great. I've landed my
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: dream job where I've made some really amazing friends. So
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: I think just sticking at sticking at my dream job
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: and just seeing where that takes me is the dream
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: and hopefully the reality. I'm very blessed.
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: Everyone has an Ex's a Minti Media production and proudly
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: part of the Muma Mea Network. This episode is written
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: and produced by Linda Scott. Interview conducted by Rafaela Chicarelli
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: and narrated by me Georgia Love. If you have a
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: story you'd like to share, email podcast at momameia dot
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: com dot au. You can support us by following the
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: show in your favorite podcast app and leaving a five
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: star review. We'll see you for the next episode.