Latest / Millennial Mustard Seed / S5 122. Carly Tebbs Pt. 4 – I Survived & Break the Silence, I'm not Alone

Transcript

S5 122. Carly Tebbs Pt. 4 – I Survived & Break the Silence, I'm not Alone · Millennial Mustard Seed

0:01
Hello folks. This is Princess.
0:03
You are listening to the Millennial Mustard Seed Podcast.
0:06
Thanks for listening. Don't forget to share with your
0:09
friends. That's tough.
0:11
We're in a very tough spot. I think that what we're doing
0:15
right now is a great benefit and virtue because it's an end
0:19
around between this whole corrupt informational system,
0:23
media system. We claim to believe in a God who
0:27
spoke the universe into existence and literally raised
0:30
himself from the dead, and yet we're not going to believe that
0:34
anything else exists in the spirit realm, even though His
0:37
word tells us that they do. Their bodies weren't permitted
0:41
to go to sleep like humans do, and they weren't permitted to go
0:45
to heaven, so they wander the earth.
0:49
You know, I've seen the. Eyes turn black to unknown
0:52
tongues being spoken. These giants would love way up
0:56
in the island, the young Braves. The young men would hide up in
1:00
the trees and wait for one of these 12 footers to come walking
1:03
down the path. And they would jump on them and
1:05
kill them, drag them back to the village and the village would
1:08
feast on the body. Freedom.
1:15
Then people start to get weapons.
1:17
They start to get armor. They start to build cities.
1:18
They start to fortify their cities.
1:20
Now God looks. Down and there's violence
1:22
everywhere. The battle, this war that we are
1:26
at is not against each other. It's against these
1:29
principalities and these rulers and these archons.
1:31
In the high places, it's really worthwhile to read the Bible
1:34
yourself. Fear is one of the primary
1:37
drivers of mind control, because we have to take every thought
1:42
captive and resist fear. You're going to have a testimony
1:49
that is a justice case against the Kingdom of Darkness.
2:09
Welcome back to the Millennial Mustard Seed.
2:12
I am your host Rod and thank you for being here with me for
2:15
another awesome episode. I'm joined by Carly Tebs for a
2:20
part 4. Carly talks about losing her
2:23
father when she was younger and some of the dark things she
2:27
ended up finding herself involved in through seeking to
2:30
communicate with her dad by means of using a Ouija board,
2:35
which we do not recommend. But the reality is a lot of
2:39
people out there have played with Ouija board.
2:42
What does that open you up to? Carly testifies on that and so
2:46
much more in this episode. And really, she has so many
2:50
different experiences that I know a lot of people can relate
2:53
to. I've heard these kind of stories
2:55
in person and off air, and really there's a lot of
2:58
heartbreak in what people have experienced, even with church
3:01
hurt. And we're not just talking about
3:03
offense, but what about predatory pastors?
3:07
That's just highlighting a couple of the climactical and
3:10
emotional experiences that Carly shares with us here.
3:14
And we get into so much more. And there's just a lot of power
3:18
in her story. And she is courageous and bold
3:22
enough to say, hey, I am here to testify.
3:25
Somebody else out there has experienced something similar,
3:28
and you do not have to keep that story a secret.
3:32
You don't have to wrestle in the background feeling alone, like,
3:37
has this happened to anybody else and why do these kind of
3:40
things happen? I think it's really a great way
3:44
to send the ripple effect out, to cause more people to be
3:47
willing to come forward and share their story as a justice
3:52
case, as a testimony against what the Darkness has done.
3:56
Because there's a lot of people that are claiming to be of the
3:59
light and of the one true God who are doing very crooked and
4:02
perverse things. Well, the Bible says that those
4:05
things which are done in secret, will be shouted from the
4:09
rooftops. And we cover a bunch of cool
4:12
information about her testimony, how she's overcome, where she is
4:16
today, how God literally pulled her out of some of the deepest
4:21
and darkest things that take place in American Christianity.
4:28
So let me do some maintenance here real quick.
4:30
I need you guys to like the podcast.
4:33
Give me a five star rating and review.
4:35
If you're on Apple podcast, write me a written review that
4:38
helps us find one more person just like me and you and you
4:42
guys share these episodes, send them out to your friends, your
4:45
family members, and literally get these kind of testimonies
4:48
into the church. One thing I've learned while
4:51
doing this podcast is that we do not always understand how the
4:55
ripple effect works. How US stepping into the
4:59
formation and agreement that All Darkness will be exposed, that
5:03
our words have power and that we are a walking testimony that
5:07
causes other people to see that to start to understand that.
5:12
And you know just by you sharing this, it could get, it could end
5:15
up in the hands of somebody who in a year from now has the
5:18
courage to come forth and share their testimony and literally
5:22
that makes a difference. I think it's about time to jump
5:27
into this episode. I'm ready.
5:30
Are you guys ready? Let's go.
5:32
Let's go. My name is Carly Tebbs and
5:48
welcome to the Millennial Mustard Seed Podcast.
5:54
Carly, it is an honor to have you back for a Part 4.
5:58
Yay. Yay is right.
6:03
We've had some powerful Foundation episodes laid over
6:07
these last couple months. And yeah, just the responses are
6:11
amazing. It's helping people.
6:13
And when your husband Prince was on, he said something very
6:17
profound. He said these are the end time
6:20
remnant voices that are rising up and I'm like, yeah, and it
6:25
was prophetic. Everything that God is doing is
6:29
just exciting and you have such a powerful testimony and we
6:32
never really dived like, fully into your testimony.
6:36
I think it would be really cool to spend some time with you just
6:40
diving more into your story. And I know you have some things
6:42
to say that are definitely going to be helpful for listeners out
6:45
there. Amen.
6:46
That's my prayer is that it will be helpful and people will maybe
6:51
not feel alone on their own journey or identify with the
6:56
kind of up and down of of life it can be helpful.
7:00
So that's my hope is that people can identify with with what I
7:04
went through and not feel like it's just them.
7:07
Well, yeah, let's get right into it.
7:09
So, I mean, I know we talked a little bit about like just a
7:12
recap for people that may be coming in on this episode who
7:15
didn't hear the previous three parts.
7:17
We did. You talked a little bit about
7:20
like being able to spread lightning between your fingers,
7:24
right. And yeah, oh, let's just start
7:28
there. Let's let's just go from there.
7:31
OK, yeah, so there was. So just a a slight recap.
7:36
I'm not sure which episode it was number wise that I was on,
7:39
but go go back and listen to it and give him a five star rating
7:43
on all the podcast platforms. So that was the foundation my
7:47
life started, and with some strange paranormal experiences
7:52
and being able to see in the spirit from a young age,
7:56
intuitively knowing things before they happen and having
8:02
precognition or prophetic insight.
8:05
I guess I don't know exactly where that would land when I was
8:08
so young, what the correct word would be, but in dreams about
8:12
the future, as well as waking our intuition about things, and
8:17
as I grew up around 10, I think this is part that I kind of
8:22
didn't fill in. The rest of the information was
8:24
around. At the age of 10, my father
8:26
died. He was a airplane pilot, a
8:29
private airplane pilot, and he had crashed coming in for a
8:32
landing. Nobody knew it what happened,
8:35
but I can say that it was the same experimental aircraft that
8:39
John Denver crashed in. Well, I don't know.
8:42
That was 1991. So did it have a history at that
8:45
time? I don't know.
8:45
But now it does that, OK, something goes wrong and these
8:49
tend to crash. So he crashed and passed away,
8:55
sadly. And of course, as any young
8:58
child, that really rocked my world.
9:02
And I started to try to find him again because I had this feeling
9:08
like he wasn't very far. And I, my dad was the kind of
9:12
guy who was all fun. He was heavy on the fun and low
9:16
on the responsibility part. So we we would be driving fast
9:23
in fast cars and going to the beach and on 20 mile bike rides
9:27
on A1 speed Huffy. I mean I was on the 1 speed
9:32
Huffy. He was a not.
9:33
He was on a nice, you know, Schwinn or whatever, but.
9:35
I had one of those back then. Yes.
9:38
Where you pedal the the the back pedal back.
9:40
Where's the stop? Yeah, it was bright orange.
9:42
It was really good. So we, you know, we were always
9:45
outside doing things, skiing, we lived in superior, so skiing in
9:48
the winter, cross country, downhill, all of that.
9:50
So he was all fun and he wanted to hang out with me.
9:53
He included me in what he was doing when he was home and so
9:59
that was really meaningful to me as a child as it would be to
10:02
every child. And so when he passed away, I
10:06
was rightfully devastated. And and so I just started to
10:11
watch and study witchcraft, Wiccan in particular.
10:15
And I remember one movie back in the day, I don't know when it
10:18
came out. Y'all could look it up, but
10:20
called the craft. And I remember thinking when I
10:24
watched that movie, oh, OK, wait, so you can access the
10:28
Other Realm. And I started to connect the
10:30
dots for me about what I'd been experiencing as a child.
10:35
I was like, oh, it's witchcraft. Oh, it's natural.
10:37
Oh oh, I should do this. Since it's already manifesting
10:41
in me. Why not pursue it?
10:42
Maybe I can talk to my dad. And I don't remember who first
10:46
introduced the Ouija board to me, but I ended up buying one of
10:50
those. Or someone gave me one, or I
10:52
don't. I don't know how it got in my
10:53
hands, but so I started to play with that and trying to connect
10:58
with my dad. He never came through.
11:01
So I remember. Of course we know that it's
11:04
demons, right? So, like, don't play with Ouija
11:06
boards people. It's not.
11:08
I do not recommend it, but this is how it started for me.
11:12
I started playing with it at a friend across the street from my
11:17
aunt's house and I had a sleepover and we started playing
11:20
with it and it was so immediate rod like, I don't know what
11:25
other people's experiences with this thing is or or had been,
11:29
whatever, but mine was so intense.
11:33
So me and this girl, we were maybe 12.
11:35
We were playing with this and we could make or the entities we're
11:39
contacting. We're very willing to make
11:42
things happen in the room. For example, we were asking it
11:46
to make it really hot in the room and with like in a snap of
11:49
a finger it was sweaty hot in her room.
11:52
We were asking it to move things around the room and it, you
11:56
know, things would move around the room.
11:58
So the clock would stop, things would fall off the wall, things
12:01
would flip over. It was so bizarre and intriguing
12:06
at the same time, because I had no foundation to know that this
12:11
might not be a good idea. If somebody ever told me that
12:16
before, then I sure didn't listen, because I don't know.
12:19
And so we were doing this, and then I got the good idea to OK,
12:23
well, if these entities are here, then let's see what they
12:26
have to say. And I invited them into myself,
12:29
into my body, to talk through my mouth.
12:34
And I can remember feeling very different.
12:40
Like you know you have that stream of consciousness in your
12:44
in your mind where you you have thoughts and those thoughts have
12:48
a certain voice. This was not my thoughts.
12:52
It sounded different. And I can remember 3 different
12:55
entities cycling into my being and speaking through my mouth.
13:01
And it was so bizarre because everything about my demeanor
13:05
changed. My mannerisms, my tone of voice,
13:10
everything. I was freaking out the girl that
13:12
I was with and I couldn't. You know, when you're forming
13:18
sentences in your mind, you, you kind of think a little bit into
13:22
what you're going to say and then you say it.
13:23
I had no idea what was going to come out of my mouth.
13:26
It was weird. And so we did that.
13:30
And it never dawned on me that this might not be good.
13:34
So the next day I went home, and it was the day after that it
13:40
turned out that that girl that I was with her appendix ruptured.
13:46
And I'm, I can't say, OK, this caused that, but it's just odd,
13:50
looking back, how we were playing with demons, basically.
13:55
And then this horrible thing happened to her.
13:59
Fast forward and I'm at a different friend's house and
14:03
we're playing at night and it's a evening in the summer and we
14:08
always were trying to I I eventually gave up on trying to
14:11
connect with my dad, 'cause I was like he's not coming
14:12
through. I never had dreams about him.
14:14
I I never was able to make those connections and that was that
14:20
was what I was longing for. But it it never worked out.
14:24
So we would try to connect with people like Kurt Cobain, because
14:26
he had just died and we were at my, this girl's house, who I
14:31
didn't know very well, was the first time hanging out at her
14:33
house. And so we were inviting whatever
14:36
to come through, like just come through, hang out, let us see
14:39
you prove it, that you're here. And all of a sudden the
14:42
electricity went out in her house.
14:46
And so that was weird. We lit a bunch of candles
14:49
because naturally, why not get a flashlight?
14:52
I don't know. We lit a bunch of candles and it
14:56
started getting really windy outside.
14:59
And so we look outside, we're like, OK, it's going to storm.
15:01
So you know, we're we're moving around.
15:03
It's all kind of weird. And we're sitting in this room
15:05
and we see these shadows, people passing by the because we're in
15:11
one room and but they're passing by in the hallway and we're
15:17
like, well, who are you? And the Ouija board says, you
15:20
know, Cobain. It spells out Cobain.
15:21
So we're like, oh cool, no, not cool.
15:26
And so I invite this entity to come into me again, not learning
15:29
my lesson and oh Lord Jesus, help me, oh God almighty.
15:34
I had never when that thing came into me, I have never felt
15:38
depression like that. I I wanted I I was consumed with
15:44
this desire to kill myself in an instant.
15:47
I went from having fun. Da da, da.
15:49
I mean, being spooky, scared, you know, but in a fun way to
15:55
wanting to die. And like the snap of a finger,
16:02
it just never dawned on me. It's so silly to look back on
16:05
it, but but so we, a storm started outside and it was
16:08
pouring and raining and lightning and the candles,
16:11
Everything was closed up in all the windows and the candles in
16:14
the room were going off and coming back on and going off.
16:17
And I was. I was demanding that this thing
16:19
get out of me because I I felt like I was going to die and I
16:24
could at least draw the parallel.
16:25
OK, I was cool. And now I'm not so that that all
16:30
sorts of crazy things were happening at the house that were
16:33
banging. And Needless to say, that person
16:38
never invited me back over again.
16:42
That person. Wow.
16:45
Yes. So that friend ended.
16:47
Yeah. And so that was some of the
16:50
weird stuff that I don't again, I don't recommend playing with
16:54
the Ouija board because you just, well, period.
16:57
But mostly you, you just don't know what's going to come
17:00
through. And and I do think, looking
17:02
back, that this was where I gave entities permission to come in
17:07
and possess my body. I don't know what else to say.
17:10
It's it wasn't me at that time in my life, in my teenage years.
17:15
I just wanted to escape the feelings I had inside of myself,
17:19
the sorrow and the depression and the traumas I'd experienced
17:23
up to that point. So I was using a lot of drugs,
17:26
including hallucinogenics, acid and mushrooms and ecstasy and
17:33
whatever I could get my hands on.
17:35
I drew the line at heroin and crack, because crack smells
17:37
really bad if you've never smelled it.
17:39
It's disgusting and heroin kills people for sure.
17:42
And it was the 90s. So all the best musicians died
17:45
of that at that time. So so that was that was those
17:49
years of my life. And there were times when I
17:53
would get so heavy, laden with the burden of my sin and my
17:57
sorrow and my trying to run away from my heart that I remember I
18:05
was 17 and I I had just tried to commit suicide at my friend's
18:09
house and obviously that scared my mom pretty bad.
18:15
And by taking about what are all the pills in her cabinet, that
18:22
friend saw the the empty bottles and and stuck her finger down my
18:26
throat and made me throw up. So my mom sent me to stay with
18:31
my step sister and I wanted to be relieved of the burden of all
18:38
my sorrow. And so I went to the Catholic
18:42
priest because I was some knowledge in me about that.
18:47
I did go to Catholic Church semi regularly Christmas and Easter
18:51
and Sundays once in a while, you know.
18:55
And so I went to this Catholic peace priest in this big
18:57
beautiful cathedral in Superior right on the Main Street there
19:02
Aunt Belknap. And I remember sitting in his
19:05
office and I was just bawling my eyes out and I was telling him
19:08
everything and he handed me a handkerchief out of the drawer
19:13
of his desk and said, your sins have been forgiven and now your
19:17
soul is as white as this handkerchief.
19:20
I bet I still have that handkerchief somewhere.
19:23
I felt better and I purposed in my heart to do better, but there
19:27
was no depth. I went right back to it.
19:30
When I went came back to the cities from Superior to start my
19:34
senior year in high school, I just went right back to it,
19:38
doing all the wrong things. And then I graduated high school
19:47
and I started going to a Pentecostal church again because
19:52
I I felt it's just it's crazy how sin accumulates into your
19:57
soul and just starts weighing you down.
20:00
If you're experiencing that weight, it's It's definitely
20:03
something the Lord can relieve. So I would go to this
20:07
Pentecostal church and sit in the church service and just sob.
20:10
I would just sit there and cry so many tears.
20:15
And this one lady tried to take me under her wing and I remember
20:20
going to her house and she was listening to Yolanda Adams and
20:25
we just started talking. I don't remember how we got on
20:27
the topic, but she was telling me how she really doesn't listen
20:31
to secular music anymore and she doesn't really, you know, make a
20:34
big deal out of things like her birthday.
20:35
Not that she's Jehovah Witness. She wasn't that again.
20:38
But but and I thought to myself as my 19 year old self at that
20:42
time, OK, if I can't listen to like, Snoop and Dre and Eminem,
20:46
I don't. I don't know.
20:48
I don't know if I can do this again with the lack of depth.
20:53
I just didn't understand the correlation between the sin and
20:58
the weight and the trauma and the sorrow giving it to Jesus.
21:02
And then what? Nobody explained that, right?
21:06
I didn't know to ask. So I would go to church, I'd sob
21:09
my eyeballs out. I'd get in my car and I'd light
21:11
up another joint. You'd go about my.
21:14
I just never made the. I never drew the line between,
21:18
hey, this is causing, this is perpetuating my inner heart
21:21
issues. So Fast forward and I got, I got
21:27
married and not not to the husband.
21:33
You interviewed to someone else and he gave me two wonderful
21:38
boys a year apart. They're 12 months, 3 weeks and
21:44
five days apart. And that marriage ended.
21:51
I started going to Catholic Church again and he was, he was
21:55
not supportive because he was Muslim.
21:58
So I was not equally yoked. And again, I I don't know that I
22:03
was necessarily saved at that time, but I knew that I needed
22:07
something outside of myself. And now looking back, I would
22:13
language it like this. You have to change the well
22:17
you're drawing from. And I kept drawing from the well
22:24
inside of myself, which is the same well that I was drawing
22:28
from when I was making poor life decisions.
22:32
It was the well that was filled with bitter water and traumatic
22:37
memories and struggles and regrets.
22:42
And I know now that when Jesus met the woman at the well and he
22:49
said I have water, but you'll drink it and you'll never get
22:52
thirsty again, I have water you'd know not of.
22:56
He was inviting her to his well. And that's really where life
23:04
changes is when you start drawing on the well of Jesus
23:07
instead of your own inner resources.
23:10
Because if we could save ourselves, we wouldn't need him.
23:17
But we can't. OK so that's where submission
23:20
comes in. And so I'm married and I have
23:24
these two boys and I'm, I'm trying to live my life better.
23:28
It's not going well. And that marriage ended it.
23:35
It ended with a bang. And I'm just, I'm going to leave
23:38
it at that just for the, you know, if my boys ever listen to
23:41
this, I I don't want to say anything about their father.
23:46
But it it it wasn't, it wasn't great.
23:50
And and that ended. And then I was a single mom
23:56
going to college and it was really, really, really hard.
24:00
I had family who came and would watch my boys while I went to
24:04
school. They would bring me groceries,
24:06
everybody, my aunts and uncles and my mom's friends, They
24:10
rounded the wagons and they helped me the best they could.
24:13
It was really miraculous, but even at that, just the depth of
24:17
sorrow that I carried inside of myself, no amount of help from
24:22
people would rid me of that burden.
24:28
And I remember one night I invited my life, life insurance
24:33
guy over who I'd kind of befriended.
24:35
He's such a nice guy. And so he came over and he was.
24:39
I didn't know at the time, but he was a strong believer and
24:41
still is to this day wonderful man of God.
24:44
And he came over to cancel the policies like, well, let me come
24:48
meet with you. And so he came over and he's
24:51
like, you know, I just feel like I got to tell you, he started
24:54
telling me about Jesus. And I was like, yeah, yeah,
24:56
yeah, that's nice. But I couldn't receive it.
25:02
I I like, heard him, but it didn't.
25:06
It just bounced off my forehead. So I I had this roommate move in
25:13
who was my Co worker and she was super witchcraft.
25:16
Y right? And one night we were sitting
25:19
around, we're sitting in my room, in my living room, our
25:21
living room, because we're living together.
25:23
She was helping to pay rent because I was not making ends
25:26
meet. And we're sitting there, we're
25:28
talking, and it's kind of dim because it's night and it's
25:30
late. Whatever, We're talking and all
25:31
of a sudden her, she's, I don't, I don't know how because it
25:36
wasn't like we were doing anything.
25:38
We were just, we were just hanging out.
25:40
But all of a sudden her face changed.
25:42
She went from looking like she usually does to looking
25:45
completely different. And I was like, well, that's
25:51
weird. And but I didn't say anything
25:53
because it's so crazy to be like, yo girl, your face looks
25:58
weird. I mean, I'm supposed to say.
26:02
So I'm like, watching her and her face just starts switching.
26:06
She looks like an old woman. She looks like a white lady.
26:10
She looks almost like a cat. She looks a little bit like a
26:13
dog. She looks, it was this rapidly
26:16
changing. And I'm looking at her going, Oh
26:17
my God, am I losing my mind? Like, what is going on?
26:22
And then and and I, I was trying cognitive dissonance.
26:25
I was trying to just talk myself out of the experience like,
26:28
Nope, Nope. This is not what's happening
26:30
right now. I don't know what's happening,
26:31
but it's not that. Whatever.
26:33
That is so. So she and I kind of dabbled in
26:39
the in the witchcraft Y stuff and like, but just in the sense
26:42
of talking about it. We worked at a new age publisher
26:46
that published these meditation CDs and they were very into
26:52
Thai. What's it called?
26:54
Qigong. That's it.
26:56
Don't practice it people. I don't recommend it.
26:58
But so we were immersed in this world of of Eastern philosophy,
27:04
studying it, listening to it, selling it, coaching people on
27:08
it. And I think probably it just is
27:10
all accumulating from my past to that point And and so she stayed
27:20
with me for a while and then she moved out and I I was like OK
27:25
well that's good because I'm not sure about her.
27:28
She seems a little off And and I was working in that place and
27:35
then going to school and and I met somebody at school who
27:39
started talking to me and it was fun because I could say all my
27:43
weird paranormal experiences to this person and it never he
27:49
never responded with disbelief or like wow that's weird.
27:54
It seemed as though for him that was also normal or something he
27:59
knew about. So I shared a lot of my weird
28:01
experiences and at the time, since I wasn't saved, I was
28:05
still having weird experiences. I was trying Transcendental
28:08
Meditation. I was trying to do all of that
28:10
Ascend kundalini, all that I was.
28:13
I was trying to get myself out of this pit that I felt I was in
28:18
and rightfully I was. So I was trying all the new age
28:21
things, doing all of it. None of it was working, but I
28:25
kept trying because when it doesn't work, try harder, right?
28:29
So I was doing that and I was telling him all these stories
28:32
and to him it was normal, it was great.
28:35
So we we started talking, we were we would hang out on break.
28:38
It was cool. It was good.
28:41
And he was married and had old. He was older than me, had
28:44
children, older than my own and and I was just happy to have
28:47
someone to talk to once in a while.
28:49
He would. He would help me out financially
28:53
and the first time that happened I was highly dubious of his
28:56
intentions. But and rightfully so because it
28:59
was definitely ended up being an A crazy experience.
29:02
But one night was particularly bad and I called him because I
29:08
didn't know where else to turn. I I felt so depressed.
29:12
Rod. I didn't want to live anymore.
29:14
I was raising two boys by myself.
29:18
Ends. We're not meeting.
29:20
I was just steeping myself deeper and deeper and deeper
29:23
into New age practices. I was angry.
29:26
I was angry, mean mom and angry awful mean mom.
29:32
And I just wanted to die. I was like, what is the point of
29:37
this? I don't know where I'm going to
29:38
go if I die, but Lord, it has to be better than this, this place,
29:42
no. And so at in that depth of
29:45
despair, I called this person and I said, I just can't do this
29:50
anymore. I don't know.
29:51
I. And then he asked me the most
29:56
perfect question anybody could have said to me at that moment.
30:01
He said, have you ever really given Jesus your all?
30:05
No. We had never talked about Jesus.
30:07
He he didn't bring it up. And I stopped.
30:10
And I thought back on all the times I would go to the priest
30:13
or went to that Pentecostal church or would even read the
30:16
Bible. I was even read.
30:17
Trying to read the Bible didn't make any sense, but I would try
30:19
to read it. And I was like, you know what?
30:23
I never did? I never gave Jesus my all.
30:27
I'm A and and and I've tried everything else.
30:31
I've done the drugs, I've had the relationships.
30:34
I tried getting married. I tried being a mom.
30:37
I tried the New Age. Nothing's working, and it's just
30:42
worse. It's worse than I ever thought
30:44
it could be. I thought, you know what, I'm
30:47
going to try Jesus. I'm going to give him my
30:50
everything. I said the sinner's prayer, and
30:55
in that moment, something definitely changed.
31:00
I could feel death leave my body and I could feel light and hope
31:07
and love come in. It was so tangible.
31:10
I can't compare it to anything else.
31:15
It was my whole being. From my toes to my soul, to my
31:20
mind, to my heart, everything. It all just changed.
31:26
And I meant it. And I think that's the thing
31:28
that made the difference, is I I wasn't just lamenting my
31:32
sorrows. I was like Jesus, here you go.
31:36
Take my death. You want my death?
31:38
Here, take my death, but also take my life.
31:43
I'm going to give you my everything.
31:47
My now, my yesterday, my tomorrow, everything.
31:50
You want it here. And I'm going to try.
31:52
And I purposed in my heart from that moment to really, really
31:56
try to really try to give, to really try to understand this
32:00
Jesus. And I remember saying to him at
32:02
that time, I don't care if you are God of the universe, who
32:08
made all the stuff. If you are so big, you're such a
32:12
big God, You did all this stuff. Cool.
32:14
That's great. Congratulations.
32:16
If you can't come into my heart and change me, like inside in
32:22
here, in my heart, I don't really care.
32:24
I don't really care if you made everything.
32:27
Because when you're suffering under the weight of sin, it
32:31
doesn't matter if God made the stars, you know?
32:35
It's like when people are in crisis.
32:37
The trivial things of life that were important yesterday, well,
32:41
the things that were important to you yesterday become trivial.
32:44
When you're in a crisis, none of that stuff matters anymore.
32:47
And that's how I felt in that moment.
32:49
It was like, I just need you to come in here and change me, like
32:53
change me. I felt the death leave and all
32:55
of that. But now I know I need to be
32:57
different. And so I started going to church
33:01
and I started going to prayer meeting, and I started going to
33:03
Bible study and I joined the praise and worship team and I
33:05
read my word every day. And that's when things started
33:09
to get really weird. Really weird.
33:12
So I'm gonna pause in case you have a question.
33:16
I mean, I'm just enjoying hearing your story because
33:20
there's certain parts that are relatable and I think a lot of
33:25
people are going to be willing to go and venture into their own
33:31
traumas and past cause. A lot of the times, Christianity
33:34
as it sits, and we've talked about this, Carly, it seems like
33:36
you have to come nice and clean and squeaky and neat and you
33:40
have to do what they do and say what they say.
33:43
And people take this mental jog into their past, even just a
33:48
glimmer of one of the terrible things they've purposefully done
33:52
or unwillingly done. And then they go, oh, I I can't,
33:56
I can't be there. I just got reminded of this
33:59
horror of my past, right? And I've seen that be like a
34:02
frontline thing that I personally have dealt with.
34:05
But by God's grace overcoming and the place of maturity now
34:10
where I understand that process but you said some stuff that's
34:13
just so provocative. I don't want to deter you from
34:16
continuing the testimony. You're talking about this multi
34:19
layered curse of your past and we're getting into a bit of it
34:24
sounds like a transition where like things for me and and maybe
34:30
for you Carly and and other people out there listening.
34:32
But when I came to the Lord it felt like things were breaking
34:36
off in stages through testing, through trials like nothing got
34:41
pretty and clean overnight. When I came to the Lord actually
34:44
got worse in some ways and I think that's kind of where we're
34:48
at with your testimony. I I I don't know I'm excited.
34:52
I'm going to shut up. You continue to talk.
34:54
This is good. OK, Yep, that's exactly right.
34:57
So I had that moment of of justification and the death left
35:01
in the life came in and then things started to get really
35:05
weird. And so the the the guy who I was
35:11
talking to said welcome to this address on Sunday and at 10:00.
35:15
So I was like OK, so I went to that address on Sunday morning.
35:19
Lo and behold that self sane person, I'd been telling all my
35:23
crazy stories too and talking about seeing auras and all this
35:27
stuff. He was the pastor and I was.
35:32
I was like, what that what is going on?
35:35
I had no idea. And good thing because had I
35:38
known my preconceived notions of of churchy pastor is priest.
35:43
Catholic priest, right. So I would have had any of that.
35:46
I would not have said any of that.
35:48
I wouldn't have shared nothing. I would have kept that man at a
35:51
distance and been like pat, Pat that's nice go ahead with your
35:56
Jesus self. So.
35:57
But I didn't know. So I went there and I'm like,
36:00
whoa, and is a Liberian church, so West Africa.
36:03
My husband, you know, he talked about that.
36:06
And this was different, these people, they meant it.
36:15
And now I was in a place that it had me almost, it almost started
36:21
to have meaning. And I didn't have enough
36:23
knowledge of the word to understand really.
36:25
But for some reason at that, it was starting to work inside of
36:30
me, that surrender was starting to kind of grow.
36:35
And I could see that these people really love the Lord.
36:38
And what the pastor was talking about, I don't remember now, but
36:42
I remember thinking, oh, this is exactly what I was just thinking
36:46
about, you know, was that kind of.
36:48
I started to see that the things I worry about, think about and
36:54
feel alone in myself with myself, he's really there with
36:58
me. The Lord is with me because when
37:00
I went to church, I remember noticing that he was talking
37:04
about things I had been worrying about and thinking about that I
37:07
never said to him. So I was like this man's talking
37:10
for Jesus. Oh my gosh, woah, right.
37:14
So I kept going and I got, like I said, I got involved in
37:17
everything I could because if I'm look if I purpose to do
37:21
something, I really do it. I do it so hard.
37:25
I go so hard, I get hyper fixated and there's nothing can
37:29
take me off of it. And that's exactly what happened
37:32
when I got some Jesus wow. But then things started to get
37:37
weird. So I I started to have
37:41
manifestations in my House of I would go to bed at night and I'm
37:48
alone, totally alone. My kids have their own room.
37:53
I when I go to sleep, I sleep in one spot and I wake up in that
37:57
same spot. I don't.
37:58
I don't roll around. At least at that point in time.
38:01
I don't know. You'd have to ask my husband if
38:02
I do. Now I'm busy sleeping, so I
38:04
don't know, but I would. I would lay down and wake up and
38:08
I could for most of my early, you know, mid, mid 20s,
38:11
whatever. I'd get up and just fold the
38:13
blanket back and it would look like I was never in my bed.
38:15
That's all I had to do. And all that to say, I would go
38:18
to bed reading books and listening to worship music.
38:21
But when I would wake up in the morning the opposite side of my
38:24
king size bed, it would look like somebody had gotten out of
38:29
that side of the bed and it would freak.
38:33
So I'm like what? So I'd go look at my boys and
38:38
they're not awake they're in their beds.
38:41
What is happening? And and or like, I would go to
38:45
bed with worship on, with my laptop on my bed and my books
38:49
and my Bible open, and I would wake up and my laptop would be
38:52
shut, put somewhere else in my room.
38:54
The books would be strewn all over the place in the side of
38:56
the bed. Other side of the bed would be
38:59
dishevelled or I'd be in my room and I would hear toys.
39:05
My kids again are sleeping. I would hear toys going off.
39:09
My doors would open and close. And thankfully this pastor was
39:14
in Africa. And well, it's Liberia.
39:16
I'm sure it's all Africa. They don't.
39:20
They don't hide witchcraft like here in America, the witchcraft
39:23
is more covert. It's not so in your face, right?
39:28
But there. It's very in your face.
39:32
So at least when I would tell him these things, he'd be like,
39:35
oh, that's demonic manifestations that we know how
39:38
to deal with that. Right.
39:40
And so I started a process of of deliverance.
39:44
And I remember one night in particular, this is, I had gone
39:49
to work and then gone to school. And I came home and my aunt was
39:55
there putting my boys to bed. So I went in my room just to not
39:57
disturb, 'cause you know how kids are with their moms.
40:00
And everything's wrong. And they have lots of emotions
40:03
and words. And so they were like 3:00 and
40:07
4:00 at the time. And so I went in my room and my
40:10
aunt came and said, oh, you're home.
40:11
And then she laughed. And and I'm laying there and all
40:14
of a sudden I hear this like banging and toys going off in
40:17
the living room. My kids are in their room, so I
40:20
and then I see my door to my bedroom open.
40:24
I was like, oh, not again. So I know now to say the blood
40:28
of Jesus, the blood of Jesus, the name of Jesus Christ.
40:30
I'm like saying what I know I'm supposed to say.
40:34
And it stops and I go to to my mirror in my bathroom to start
40:41
to pray for myself because I'm I'm aware that I'm getting
40:45
attacked in my sleep. Like I would have dreams where
40:48
somebody was trying to break my ankles and wake up and my ankles
40:53
be swollen and be limping. And for some reason it was
40:58
always my ankles. I don't know why so weird, but I
41:02
would have dreams that then had physical manifestations.
41:05
So I go and I'm going to go to bed.
41:07
So I'm standing in front of the mirror and I'm praying for
41:09
myself and I knew Jezebel was an issue for me based on what I had
41:13
learned from going to this church.
41:15
This is a couple months into it and and having some a few
41:18
deliverance sessions which are so bizarre, but in a good way.
41:22
Exhausting, but good, right? So I'm standing in front of the
41:27
mirror and I'm praying for myself and I'm addressing
41:28
Jezebel. And I'm like, I don't want you.
41:31
I get out of me. So I'm praying for myself.
41:34
I'm pleading the blood of Jesus over myself.
41:36
And I look and I look at myself in the mirror and my eye color
41:40
changed like a snap of a finger. My eyes are like a Hazel brown.
41:45
And they changed to green. And I was like, oh, that is
41:47
weird, right? So I'm looking at my eyeballs
41:50
and I'm pleading the blood of Jesus and all of a sudden I get
41:54
slammed to the ground. I I cannot stop the force of
41:58
what hit me. Whatever it was, it hit me and
42:01
it slammed me to the ground and it felt like I was being pulled
42:07
into the carpet, into the concrete, under the carpet from
42:11
underneath, like, and it it hurt.
42:14
It hurt my back, it hurt my body.
42:18
I had right before this had happened, I had called the
42:20
pastor to be like, I'm going to pray for myself, Can you please
42:23
be on the line with me? Because sometimes things would
42:25
go left. So I had fallen and the phone
42:28
fell and I was able to grab it and I'm being pushed into the
42:32
ground and it feels like my back is going to break and I can't.
42:36
And my head starts getting slammed into the carpet and I
42:42
can't. I can't stop it and I can't see
42:44
what's doing it. It was so terrifying.
42:49
And so I'm like, the blood, the blood, the blood, the blood of
42:51
Jesus, the blood of Jesus, the blood of Jesus.
42:53
And I hear the pastor on the other line, like, are you OK?
42:55
What's going on? And he's, he's praying.
42:59
And then in a split second my eyes were open and I see this
43:05
gnarled face demon. It almost looked like Fast
43:09
forward. When The Hobbit movies came out
43:10
in the orcs, it was kind of like that, but the skin was dark and
43:16
the eyes were bloodshot and just gross.
43:21
And this thing is leaning over me and trying to pry my legs
43:24
apart. And I don't know if I told you
43:27
about the dream in the first podcast, but I when I was
43:29
younger and in teenage years, I had a dream that I was sexually
43:32
assaulted in my sleep and I woke up feeling the effects on my
43:36
person. Yes, I do think I said that.
43:38
And it was such a similar voice, 'cause this thing said to me, I
43:43
could hear it. It said I'm going to effing rape
43:45
you like this. I'm like my legs are being pride
43:50
apart and I'm being pressed into the ground and I can't move.
43:53
And I'm just trying to plead the blood of Jesus, but I'm crying
43:56
and I'm hurting. And it was horrible for I don't
44:00
know how long. 30 minutes or so it kept going on.
44:03
I felt like it was never going to end.
44:04
I hear the pastor on the other line praying.
44:07
I hear his wife praying and then I hear he said hang up.
44:14
I'm here and I'm like, what does that mean?
44:16
So I'm like trying to fumble with my phone.
44:18
I managed to hang up the phone. It calls back, it's the door and
44:22
he's at my apartment and he come, you know, I buzz him in
44:25
with the little phone on my phone keypad and he comes down
44:29
and I like claw. I don't know if angels came to
44:32
give me reprieve, for I don't know what happened in the
44:35
spirit, but I was able to, like, claw my way to my front door and
44:40
unlock it. And he came in and he started
44:42
praying with me. Because usually when you're
44:44
dealing with demonic entities, you say the blood of Jesus, you
44:48
you say the name of Jesus. They rapidly start to lose their
44:52
power, their strategies inside of that moment, right?
44:56
But but we weren't dealing with demonic entities alone.
45:02
Because the blood of Jesus, they were not relenting.
45:06
And that's how I knew it was human spirits.
45:10
I'm like I human and human astral projectors, human souls
45:14
partnering with demons to go out of body and and assault me.
45:19
Because when you're dealing with demons, like I said, they don't
45:22
have as much resistance, but the will of man.
45:25
You can't supersede the will of man by just saying the blood of
45:29
Jesus, the name of Jesus, because he's given us free will,
45:32
for better or worse. And they were not relenting and
45:36
it was so terrifying. So he comes in and I don't even
45:41
remember what he said. But once we realized once he was
45:46
there and we were addressing what was going on as human
45:53
humans going out of body, astral projecting to assault me, then
45:58
he took a different strategy and the thing started to subside.
46:04
And after all these weird occurrences and then this
46:08
massive manifestation, he's like, you need to be filled with
46:12
the Holy Spirit. So things had calmed down.
46:16
We got the stuff to leave. Leave me alone.
46:19
It was back calm. I was exhausted.
46:22
I was bruised. It was so he said I'm going to
46:27
baptize you in the Holy Spirit. So you have the power.
46:31
You have the power. And I said, OK, I don't.
46:35
I have some foundation of what that means because I had been
46:37
going to church and reading the Bible and listening to the Word.
46:41
And when I felt the Holy Spirit come in me, it was almost like a
46:47
percolating, like a bubbling coming up from my gut, up
46:52
through my chest, through my heart, up into my throat.
46:58
And I could feel language that I didn't recognize starting to
47:02
form in my brain. And he was like, are you getting
47:05
your heavenly language? I said, I think so.
47:08
He's like, just start saying it. Just start.
47:11
Don't judge it. Just start saying what you're
47:13
hearing. So I started speaking in
47:15
tongues. It was very simple at first.
47:19
But as I was speaking in tongues, that percolating
47:23
sensation was filling my body and my mind.
47:28
It was effervescent, which was new.
47:33
And so his wife was on the phone praying.
47:36
He was there with me. He had to help me to lay down in
47:39
my bed, and I laid down in my bed and he left.
47:44
And I went to sleep that night, speaking in tongues, and I never
47:49
had another attack like that again.
47:54
I went through more deliverance after that, which if nobody's
47:59
ever seen it, I'll just give you a picture of what that looks
48:02
like. So when you're casting demons
48:04
out of somebody, when when he was, let me just speak for
48:07
myself. When he was casting demons out
48:09
of me, it was a it was so similar to way back when I was
48:14
12. And I was asking entities to
48:16
come in and speak through me was such a similar feeling.
48:20
Because what was manifesting in my mind was not my voice.
48:24
I would have the most heinous, horrible pictures in my
48:28
imagination. And voices that just hated me
48:31
were seething with hate and murder and lust.
48:37
And I would be drooling and coughing and writhing on the
48:41
floor. And I and the pastor was, would
48:45
tell me, tell me what you're seeing, tell me what you're
48:47
experiencing inside so that he would have some aid in
48:51
discerning what was going on and what was manifesting.
48:53
So I would try to communicate what was going on, but there was
48:57
so much sexual perversion that would come up that came with a
49:03
lot of coughing and drooling and just feeling perversion in my
49:12
body is like a lustful feeling, but sick.
49:15
Not like the pure love that you now know with your spouse, but
49:21
something, some dirty. And I went through that many,
49:26
many times. And in that season of my walk
49:29
with the Lord, the more I got of him, the more I wanted.
49:36
And I knew that the only thing that was standing in my way was
49:40
my confession and my repentance. So I didn't care what people
49:45
thought of me. If I was at a church service,
49:49
and I always was. If there was a church service, I
49:52
was at it in our church. Or are the other churches that
49:55
we we did work with? I didn't care.
49:58
If I had to go up there and confess my most hideous sins in
50:01
front of people, if it meant I would be set free, I would do
50:04
it. I would embarrass myself
50:06
publicly if it meant I would be set free.
50:08
I was like, at any cost, I don't care what it cost me, it can
50:12
cost me the way people think. People could think I'm a crazy
50:17
person. I don't care.
50:18
I just don't want to live this life of death anymore.
50:21
I don't want this bondage. All of these entities that I was
50:24
like, yeah, come party inside my body.
50:27
No, no, all of it. Bye.
50:32
I was so done. And so I did it.
50:34
And sometimes I'd have manifestations in church
50:36
services with other people, and it got weird and I didn't care
50:43
because I just wanted Jesus. I was like, I get it now, I get
50:47
it. I I understand that I had to be
50:50
willing to lay things down. And so that's what I did.
50:55
And little by little he set me free.
51:00
And it didn't get better in a really smooth way.
51:03
In the midst of this, I ended up getting a boyfriend and falling
51:06
into sin again. But I I For the first time in my
51:09
life, I hated it. I hated what I was doing.
51:12
I truly hated it. I I could tell that it was
51:15
harder to pray. It was harder to read the word.
51:18
And I longed for Jesus. But there was this thing in my
51:21
way and so I broke up with him. I was like, I can't do this.
51:27
I, I don't know if we're, you know, meant to be.
51:29
I I don't know what I just want. Jesus, I'm this is all out of
51:32
season for me. So I just went hard for the
51:35
Lord, and that was my life. And I was very close to the
51:40
pastor and I worked in that church.
51:42
I quit my job since when I got saved, I was still working at
51:45
that New Age place, but I started to hate it there.
51:48
I would walk around that place, just speaking in tongues all the
51:50
time. I didn't care if anybody heard
51:52
me. I would just be praying in
51:53
tongues all the time. Even if it was all three of the
51:55
little words, I knew I would just walk around and pray
52:00
because it was so, so witchcraft in that place.
52:03
And I knew it now. And I remembered learning.
52:06
I think it was in Deuteronomy, where it's like, don't touch
52:08
defiled things, don't do that. And everything there was
52:11
defiled, everything we were selling witchcraft,
52:14
paraphernalia. So man, And then the Lord spoke
52:18
to me one day was like, I want you to quit your job.
52:21
I said, OK did I have another plan?
52:23
No. No, I did not.
52:25
I was a single mom, and I was going to trust the Lord.
52:28
So I quit the job and the church.
52:31
The church hired me on. Not for very much money, but I
52:34
was. I was the assistant, the
52:37
executive assistant to the pastor, and I started to see a
52:42
different side of the pastor. He was telling me that in order
52:47
for me to get free, I needed to tell him everything I ever did
52:53
so that he would know what he's dealing with.
52:56
And like I said, I didn't care. I was just wanted to be free.
52:59
And so I did. I told him everything and it was
53:02
he wanted sorted details of my past rendezvous, if you will, to
53:08
use kind words. And I was like, well, that's
53:11
kind of weird, but whatever, I don't care.
53:14
I just want to be free. I told him everything, every
53:19
detail of every encounter and everything I ever did.
53:25
And one day he was at my house and he he came on to me and I I
53:34
I snapped because I had been sexually traumatized and I had
53:40
started looking at this person like almost like a father
53:43
figure. And so when he made aggressive
53:46
advances at me, I snapped and I started screaming and throwing
53:52
things around my apartment. I I completely lost it because I
53:56
felt so scared and just it was wrong and I knew it and I was,
54:02
and he was aggressive about it, you know.
54:06
And so I snapped and I demanded that he leave.
54:09
And then I was sobbing. I was broken.
54:14
I couldn't believe it. I here I am trying to trust the
54:18
Lord and take me into freedom and he and and here's this
54:24
person who in in one way is just I look up to him so much.
54:28
I trust I trusted him. All of that every I went to the
54:34
church, I served and I could not make it make sense.
54:38
And he called me later. He's like, I'm so sorry I
54:41
forgave him. I was like, OK, well, we all
54:43
sin. I sin.
54:44
You sin. We all sin.
54:45
OK, It's fine. It's fine.
54:47
So I kept working at the church because we work so close
54:51
together. He kept getting closer and
54:54
closer and closer to me emotionally, mentally, as a
55:00
friend, as a father, telling me never overtly, like, oh, you're
55:06
so cute, not nothing like that. But he he massaged the parts of
55:10
my soul that really needed love, but his intentions were not pure
55:16
and I couldn't see it. I could not see it because of
55:21
the trauma I had been through in my past, because of my deep
55:25
daddy issues, because of having given myself over to sexual
55:30
perversion and just drugs and all of that.
55:35
The being raped, being molested, that part of me that wants to be
55:42
loved was so broken and I couldn't see what he was doing.
55:47
And when I look back at it now, I really had to work through a
55:50
lot of shame because I was an adult.
55:54
You know, I'm just 29 or whatever, 30 or I don't know.
56:00
And how could I be so naive? But it progressed and it
56:07
progressed until one day he came on to me and all my defenses had
56:13
been worn down and I capitulated to my biggest regret and I hated
56:22
myself for it. And it it went on and off for a
56:26
year or two, I don't remember anymore.
56:30
It's it's such a difficult time to look back on.
56:33
But here I was in the church, serving the church, genuinely
56:37
wanting Jesus. And again, again, I found myself
56:40
living a double life. And it would happen.
56:48
There would be these rendezvous that would happen.
56:50
And then it'd be like, Nope, Nope, Nope, Nope.
56:51
Nope. We can't do it.
56:52
I can't do it. I can't do it.
56:53
I can't do it. I hate this.
56:56
And there would be repentance and then it would happen again.
57:01
This is going to get really personal.
57:02
I'm sorry everybody, if if you if you have made it this far.
57:07
But I want to share this because I don't think it only happened
57:10
to me. And maybe if I say it, you don't
57:15
have to carry the shame I carried for so long because it's
57:19
it's it's suffocating. And it came a point where I got
57:23
pregnant and he insisted that I get an abortion and that Sunday
57:28
service I went to church and I was, I was, I was so broken.
57:38
And I just asked the Lord, I was like, please, God, I don't want
57:42
to do this. I don't want to do this.
57:44
But I don't know what else to do.
57:45
And there's nowhere to turn. And all I have is you.
57:49
And that night, I went back to my apartment and I had a
57:53
miscarriage. And every woman who's had that
58:01
happen knows it's it's not a tidy process.
58:06
It's a gruesome process. And I named that baby Mercy,
58:12
because that's exactly what the Lord showed me.
58:20
And and after that happened, I was like, I can not, I cannot do
58:29
this anymore. And I forgave him and I kept
58:35
going to the church because one way that this pastor would
58:39
manipulate the congregation was to say things like if you
58:42
weren't part of this ministry, you will not fulfill your
58:47
destiny. If you speak anything about this
58:51
ministry negatively. You are working for Satan
58:55
himself. If you expose anything about
59:01
this ministry, you are a sleeper agent who has held hands with
59:05
demon for the destruction of the Kingdom of God.
59:08
And I believed. So I shoved that stuff deep down
59:14
inside of me. And I said, I'm gonna never talk
59:16
about this. I don't care if it kills me.
59:21
I'm never talking about this because I didn't want to destroy
59:28
anybody's life. I didn't want to be the person
59:30
who ruined people's destinies. Because certainly if I told
59:33
anybody about it, everybody would leave the church and then
59:36
everybody's destiny would be destroyed.
59:38
And then if I told anybody, I'd be holding hands with demon for
59:42
the destruction of the Kingdom of God.
59:44
And I worked so hard to get out of holding hands with demons.
59:51
And so I purposed in my heart to never ever, ever talk about it.
59:55
And I just forgave him. And I said, Lord, if you can
59:59
forgive and forget as far as the East is from the West, then so
1:00:03
can I. But Rod, it started to kill me.
1:00:09
It started to kill me. Let me just jump in and say this
1:00:15
real quick because what you're talking about is so important.
1:00:20
One of the highlights Carly, is how many other people out there
1:00:24
have experienced something similar to this and it's killing
1:00:27
them like a deep manipulation. Like I'm the Enemy studies us to
1:00:35
the point where it's it's unreal and I see this mental psyops
1:00:44
where the layers of deception and and people that are naive
1:00:47
and trust the church. I mean, there's a reason the
1:00:51
word says study to show yourself well approved.
1:00:55
I'm not against the body because I'm a part of the body.
1:01:00
But there is a whole entire long list of things I'm not going to
1:01:04
get too crazy on it that I think can be pieced together quite
1:01:08
well to explain these false reality.
1:01:14
Satanic phase one, phase two, phase three that that all of us
1:01:18
have experienced to some extent. And a lot of these quote UN
1:01:23
quote men of God. I won't say names, it's not my
1:01:26
position, but they're out there. There's churches on every corner
1:01:30
and people got stories and they're just starting to build
1:01:33
up the momentum to want to come out and release this stuff and
1:01:36
to testify and to fully heal from it and what you're talking
1:01:40
about. It just brings me to like this
1:01:42
crooked and perverse spirit that's in a lot of these
1:01:45
buildings around the world, and specifically here in our
1:01:48
country, where they mentally infiltrate you, find out all of
1:01:53
your weaknesses, use that stuff against.
1:01:55
It was almost like the enemy themselves, like the unseen Ones
1:01:59
are working with the physical ones to tailor such an attack
1:02:04
that almost nobody would believe it if you believed you were
1:02:08
alone. But you're not.
1:02:13
And that's why this is powerful and important and I don't want
1:02:16
to take you off track from where you were, but I just see this
1:02:19
multi layered attack over your life and there's a lot of other
1:02:25
people out there that need the license to say, you know what,
1:02:29
I'm going to go there. I got to get it off my chest, I
1:02:34
got to be transparent and it's not a pretty process.
1:02:38
It takes time. Yeah, it was not a pretty
1:02:44
process. I had met my husband in that
1:02:47
church and we were just friends. We were on the praise and
1:02:51
worship team. You know, we had kids the same
1:02:53
age, so we would take them to the park together.
1:02:55
Whatever. There was nothing between Prince
1:02:58
and I at that time. I mean, I thought he was cute,
1:03:00
but that was it. OK, So I had to have to admit
1:03:04
that. But I was we weren't.
1:03:05
There was nothing happening between US and and the Lord had
1:03:11
spoken to me and said this is your husband and I was like
1:03:14
Lord, God almighty. Are you serious?
1:03:17
Because do you you know what happened here because the pastor
1:03:21
of that church is prince's relative and I was like I don't
1:03:27
know how that's even possible. God, I don't know what what you
1:03:31
you can't be serious right now. But you know I put it in my back
1:03:35
pocket and I just kept journeying on and a couple a
1:03:40
year whatever went by and and the Lord had spoken to Princess
1:03:45
Heart too. And we went out on our first
1:03:46
date. And I never told him.
1:03:50
I never told him before we got married what had happened
1:03:55
because like I said I had purposed to die with it.
1:03:58
Truly. But it started to eat my soul
1:04:05
and we were still going to the church.
1:04:07
We got married by him. Yep.
1:04:10
I allowed that to happen, and so I don't want to share all these
1:04:16
sordid details just for fun. This is not fun.
1:04:21
I'm. I'm trying not to cry, but I do
1:04:24
want to put it out there because I know I'm not the only person I
1:04:29
know. I'm not the only person who was
1:04:32
an adult and should have known better and fell for just
1:04:36
scheming manipulation. And you know, the thing about
1:04:44
predators is they're they don't come wearing a black cloak in
1:04:48
devil horns and with a shirt that says I'm a bad guy who's
1:04:53
going to try to ruin your life. No, no, they're both and.
1:04:58
Exactly. And that's what he was.
1:05:00
And I learned a lot of great things in that church.
1:05:03
I learned. I learned how to pray.
1:05:05
I learned how to tarry. I learned how to pray the word
1:05:07
Terry meaning stay up all night praying and seeking the Lord's
1:05:10
face. I learned the Word.
1:05:12
I learned how to do spiritual warfare.
1:05:14
I learned deliverance. I learned praise and worship.
1:05:16
I learned how to be a worshipper.
1:05:19
I learned how to play in the band.
1:05:21
Like I I got a lot of good things from it.
1:05:23
And that's just the thing. So if you've been through
1:05:25
something with the church where it wasn't all bad, but a bad
1:05:28
thing happened, it's OK to to say this terrible thing happened
1:05:36
and it was wrong and it affected me and it's unjust.
1:05:39
And in through going through all of that with that pastor, I
1:05:42
thought I was the only one. I thought I was the only one he
1:05:45
had ever done this to. And it wasn't until almost 15
1:05:49
years later that I learned to know this is a pattern.
1:05:52
He did it with many people. And when I learned that, I felt
1:05:56
such relief because I didn't realize all those years I was
1:05:59
blaming myself. And so I just want to speak to
1:06:05
somebody out there that if you've gone through some abuse
1:06:10
in the church, you don't don't agree with the devil, that it
1:06:18
was your fault, that there's something intrinsically wrong
1:06:22
with you that would that could cause you to be the Jezebel in
1:06:29
the situation. I wasn't a Jezebel.
1:06:32
I was a broken young woman who who was too naive to understand.
1:06:39
And I had no good counsel about it, no, none.
1:06:43
All I had was this pastor who was grooming me.
1:06:45
That's all I had. He tried to keep me away from
1:06:48
talking to other people in the church because he's like, they
1:06:50
won't understand you. They'll think you're a witch.
1:06:53
So I didn't talk to other people in the church, and I just want
1:06:58
to give other people out there permission to admit that what
1:07:03
happened to them was not their fault.
1:07:08
Because yes, I did capitulate. It's not like he raped me.
1:07:13
But there were so many factors at play, and there's no doubt
1:07:16
that there were so many factors at play for other people too.
1:07:20
And and that you, you are not the culmination of your worst
1:07:27
mistakes. You are not.
1:07:31
You are his beloved, and that's what defines you.
1:07:36
Not the mistakes you made, not the ways you've been duped.
1:07:39
None of that. None of that defines you.
1:07:44
And I just want to prophetically release an impartation of joy
1:07:54
and gladness instead of the shame and regret.
1:08:03
It's OK to let it go and lay it down.
1:08:07
The last thing I want to say about it is that person did not
1:08:12
represent God well. People will behave wickedly and
1:08:18
they are not representing God. They may call themselves men of
1:08:22
God. They may say Jesus, Jesus,
1:08:24
Jesus. They may even teach the Word
1:08:26
with signs and wonders. They might even make manifest
1:08:30
glory happen in the church. You fall on your face, You're
1:08:33
slain in the spirit, all that. But there is a difference
1:08:38
between man and God. And at the end of that journey
1:08:43
through hell and then having to go through it with my husband, I
1:08:46
knew very little. I said, Lord, I know two things.
1:08:51
Jesus is Lord and God is good, and you're going to have to
1:08:55
remake everything else. And he did.
1:08:59
It took a long time, but he did. But the most critical thing for
1:09:04
people to keep in the front of their heart is that God is not
1:09:09
like that person who did that to you.
1:09:11
God is not like that. That is not who he is.
1:09:15
Somebody is misrepresenting him. And yes, it's a muddled mess.
1:09:18
Yes, that person is both a little good and terrible,
1:09:23
helpful and destructive. But God is none of those things.
1:09:27
He's all good all the time. This is the This is why giving
1:09:34
people free will was such a risky, risky business when he
1:09:37
did it. But here we are and we can make
1:09:41
it through. And I can tell you people there,
1:09:44
I have lived. I have lived in the darkness.
1:09:47
I have lived in it, drank it, ate it, washed myself in it.
1:09:52
And he still, he still has come through for me.
1:09:57
There's nothing you could you could never do anything to
1:10:01
disqualify yourself from him turning around and embracing and
1:10:04
loving you. Absolutely nothing.
1:10:09
And I think that's where I'll leave this one.
1:10:12
I realized that if God is calling you to deep waters,
1:10:18
revealing how the multi layered attack has been against your
1:10:21
life and your past, and he's calling you to confess to just
1:10:25
be made new in him. To actually accept the armor
1:10:29
that we have access to because of Him.
1:10:32
Because he personally carried in his body on the cross, willingly
1:10:38
offering himself as a sacrifice that that we could die to sin
1:10:44
and become immune to the penalty of sin and death.
1:10:48
God may be calling some of you out there to start the ministry
1:10:53
in your household first. Because I'm not endorsing and
1:10:57
saying you can trust the ministries that you can see out
1:10:59
there with your eyes. And as these stories come out
1:11:03
more and more, you know God is going to deal with His body
1:11:07
first. So that means if you've been
1:11:11
claim it and name it. If your prosperity, if you're
1:11:14
you know any of these different ministries we've seen,
1:11:17
publicized, Lord have mercy. Because what's coming down the
1:11:24
pipeline is we are either in a relationship with him and he is
1:11:29
doing what it is that only he can do, or we're not and is
1:11:34
gonna be exposed one way or the other.
1:11:38
And it's not a joyful thing. It's not something I celebrate
1:11:42
as I reflect, even on my own deep reflection on my own past
1:11:47
and choices, with fear and trembling.
1:11:53
Work out your own salvation before a holy God and Carly.
1:11:59
Your vulnerability here is superlative.
1:12:03
It it, it's amazing because what you said you nailed it when you
1:12:08
said this is going to release other people from holding on to
1:12:13
what they've experienced and they went to how many fake ones
1:12:16
out there are being protected by the silence.
1:12:21
Like Dan Duvall says, you are going to have a testimony that
1:12:27
is a justice case against the Kingdom of darkness.
1:12:34
And there's gross darkness right now, people.
1:12:36
It kind of reminds me of Isaiah 60, but the difference is, is
1:12:43
God says arise and shine, for his glory is risen upon you in
1:12:49
the midst of gross darkness. That means he brings it.
1:12:52
It's his timing. It's his business.
1:12:55
This is his cosmic chess patch. But oh, can we be partakers
1:13:01
through one tight and narrow path?
1:13:04
Carly, as we wind down here, really the last thing I want you
1:13:08
to bring up and talk about because prophetically, and I
1:13:14
didn't know any of this, you know, for the listener's sake,
1:13:16
for you guys that are clinging on to every single word in every
1:13:18
episode that gets released. You know, Prince came on your
1:13:23
husband and he talked about it was prophetic for him to come on
1:13:26
to the Mustard Seed and that eventually the two of you would
1:13:30
be on together. And he talked about how you guys
1:13:33
sharing your testimony will literally help save marriages
1:13:37
out there. I believe that I'm not normally
1:13:43
too sequacious, easy to just go with the flow.
1:13:45
I'm like, oh, that sounds right, but but this one sounds right.
1:13:48
So just talk a little bit about how God stirred you up
1:13:51
prophetically, like you originally reached out to me,
1:13:55
like did when did you know this stuff that it would morph into,
1:13:58
like people being healed and you sharing your testament and all
1:14:02
of this? Just help us kind of wind down
1:14:04
with a big recap over these last four parts with this prophetic
1:14:08
nudging. I listened to the episode where
1:14:14
the woman had brother had died. You know, it was such a moving
1:14:17
episode. And she told her life.
1:14:19
Anita. Anita.
1:14:20
Yes. Bless her, oh God, bless her
1:14:22
heart. Lord Jesus, just bless her
1:14:24
heart. And that's when the Lord said to
1:14:27
me, send in your testimony, you're going to share it on his
1:14:32
show. I was like, oh, OK.
1:14:35
I've never done anything like that before.
1:14:38
So I did it. And when you responded, that's
1:14:44
when the Lord said, and Prince will be on it too, and you will
1:14:48
be on it together. And when he speaks to me, it's
1:14:53
in a place inside of myself that there is no other voice.
1:14:59
And that's how I know it's him. So I agreed.
1:15:04
OK, Lord, right? And I wrestled a bit with just
1:15:12
how vulnerable he was asking me to be, because Part 2 and three,
1:15:16
you guys were hearing from my spirit.
1:15:19
Part 4, now you're you're hearing from my soul.
1:15:23
And it's it's scary for my soul to share these things.
1:15:28
But you know what? I'm going to do it anyway,
1:15:31
because that's what the Lord told me to do, and I'd rather
1:15:36
obey and be afraid, then disobey and regret.
1:15:41
So wherever this lands with people, and however it ends up
1:15:44
sounding, if I listen back to it, if I even have the courage
1:15:47
to, then I cringe the whole way. I know that the Lord has said to
1:15:51
me what He said to me, and He doesn't tell us to do things for
1:15:56
no reason. And another thing is the Lord
1:16:00
never, never, never, never wastes our suffering.
1:16:05
He never wastes your suffering. It's so precious to him because
1:16:11
he knows he lived it. He took on the weight of sin,
1:16:16
transgression, and iniquity for the entire cosmos and everybody,
1:16:21
whoever was, is and is to come. And if he could do all of that
1:16:27
and it not kill him, tell me again how awful your sin is,
1:16:32
because it's not that bad. And even that didn't kill him.
1:16:35
And you know what he was there with through through all of it,
1:16:38
he was there with me through all of it.
1:16:40
None of it surprises him when I confess it, and none of it's
1:16:44
going to surprise him when you say it to him.
1:16:46
So let it go, and let it go again and again and again until
1:16:54
the burden starts to lift. Carly, I am deeply humbled and
1:17:01
encouraged by you having the courage to share all this here
1:17:04
today. And the ripple effect does go
1:17:07
out. That's a guarantee.
1:17:09
We've seen. We've seen the proof of that and
1:17:13
it continues on. Yeah.
1:17:17
So thank you for being here for part four and using
1:17:23
vulnerability as a weapon to slay the enemy's deception and
1:17:28
secrecy of all these other things that will come to the
1:17:32
light with other people listening.
1:17:35
My words are the sword that is breaking your bondage, because
1:17:42
they're his words. This is the testimony of Yeshua
1:17:46
in me, and His greatness far surpasses my own experiences.
1:17:51
And so I released the sword of the Lord to destroy the yoke of
1:17:56
shame that's been on the necks of His people.
1:18:00
That is this episode, this part four with Carly.
1:18:03
I'm going to ask you guys to share this one if you know
1:18:06
somebody who needs to hear this due diligence and pass it along.
1:18:11
Coming to you from Southeastern PA God bless and goodbye
1:18:53
the I shed my skin.
1:19:22
I'm starting again with you for my eyes And so rude.
1:19:39
I got what I wanted. I'm so far from you the.