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284. 15 Ways To Become Irresistible To Your Spouse · The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast

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You are listening to the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, where we discuss how to find ultimate intimacy in your relationship.
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We believe that, no matter how many years you've been married, you can achieve passion, romance, happiness and ultimate intimacy at any stage of your life.
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Join us as we talk to not only marriage experts, but couples just like yourself and people who are just flat out fun.
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The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast is for couples who have a good relationship but want to make it even better.
0:39
Nick: It's the 15 ways to be more attractive in your marriage.
0:45
Amy: These aren't all physical.
0:46
Nick: Can I look any more attractive than I look right now?
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Amy: I mean, no, no, no way, no way.
0:53
Nick: So are these things I can apply in my.
0:56
Amy: These are things that husbands and wives can apply to be more attractive in the marriage.
1:08
Nick: And no, we are not saying not talking about get a hair transplant, about your hair or your body?
1:15
Amy: I'm not talking about those kind of, although you'd love to.
1:17
Nick: You'd love to talk.
1:18
Nick: I'd love to talk about your body.
1:21
Amy: Oh man, yeah, it's looking good.
1:25
Nick: I'm looking, I'm looking smoking hot.
1:27
Amy: If you didn't know, nick did get a hair transplant a few months ago, yeah, and right now it's at the ugly stage.
1:33
Nick: I'm waiting, like some patches are growing in, some patches aren't, so if you see me wearing a hat in pretty much all of our videos, you'll know why.
1:41
Nick: Cause it's not.
1:42
Nick: It's not looking attractive, it's an interesting stage right now, but in a few months, hopefully, it's going to look very attractive.
1:51
Nick: Amy is going to be just going crazy over my thick, lustrous hair nick's always been a little self-conscious about the baldness, if you haven't noticed.
2:02
Amy: If you listen to us, hey, you know what?
2:04
Amy: We all have something that we want to fix and nick got the opportunity to do that and he's going to be a happy guy.
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Amy: And women do stuff for themselves all the time, so why not?
2:14
Nick: why not this?
2:15
Nick: This was my um christmas present.
2:19
Amy: Yeah, times 10 I was gonna say something.
2:22
Nick: I'll'll keep it.
2:22
Nick: I'll keep it.
2:23
Nick: Well, I won't say it.
2:25
Anyways, yeah, let's move it on Now.
2:27
Amy: you've got us all curious.
2:29
Nick: Let's talk about.
2:31
Amy: Attraction.
2:31
Nick: Attraction.
2:32
Amy: We're going to talk about attraction.
2:33
Amy: I feel like we've just talked about this.
2:39
Amy: I apologize if we brought this up recently, but this is really important.
2:44
Amy: I get a lot of wives that literally say my husband doesn't care anymore, he's let himself go, even like hygiene.
2:54
Amy: And then I get a lot of husbands that say my wife has let her go too and we're not talking about like, oh, you have to be in shape and spend hours at the gym and get Botox or any of that kind of crap.
3:05
Amy: Yeah, Like we're talking about spouses that just have stopped caring, and that's not fair in marriage.
3:09
Nick: Well, okay, so we live in Utah and we have an amusement park here called Lagoon and I love people watching.
3:15
Nick: I mean I love to like just watch people, look at people and be like how in the world did you get together?
3:25
Or like you in the world did you get together or, like you know, and I'm I'm sure I'm not alone in this, but so we were there, not in a judgmental not in a judgmental way, but it's interesting to just watch people and how they interact and what, how they present themselves, what they look like.
3:36
Nick: We're there the other day and I I cannot believe like how many people just have no interest in looking nice for their spouse and a lot of times it's the.
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If they're even married.
3:48
Nick: I don't know yeah, or if they're dating, whatever.
3:51
Nick: But my point is it's almost like we want to look as bad, we want to look as homeless, we want to just look as awful as we can for our spouse.
4:02
Nick: It's pretty crazy.
4:04
Amy: I don't understand it.
4:05
Nick: I noticed that obviously the women will try to look nicer, obviously so do you think it's more men that have let themselves go?
4:11
Amy: Oh?
4:12
Nick: absolutely yeah.
4:12
Nick: I mean I think the women always want to look like nice not always, but oftentimes want to look nicer, right?
4:19
Nick: I mean, you're going to have some women that just don't care.
4:21
But it looks like it's like the men like you know they're not Okay.
4:27
Nick: I'm sitting here talking with a beard that I'm not clean shaven.
4:30
Amy: But I was going to say.
4:31
Amy: So beards are good if they're taken care of.
4:33
Yeah, I was just going to say some of them just look like they could care less.
4:36
Nick: You know, they have beards that aren't taken care of, they have hair that's not combed.
4:40
Nick: They're dressed like they completely don't care.
4:44
Nick: Right, and I'm not saying this to offend anyone.
4:49
Nick: I'm just saying, as we talk about things like it's important to look good for your spouse and again, like you said, we're not just talking about all the physical things, but it also shows like when you care about yourself, it also shows that you, you care you care you care like you probably cared when you were dating.
5:10
Amy: This is what it always comes back to you.
5:13
Amy: You win your spouse over.
5:14
Amy: You probably got all dressed up for them.
5:17
Amy: You probably brushed your teeth the girls probably put on makeup.
5:20
Amy: The husband probably wore their nicest outfit.
5:23
Amy: They probably combed their hair.
5:25
Amy: They probably put on some cologne.
5:27
Amy: They they wanted to look good and smell good showered for sure showered.
5:31
Amy: Like we try to win our spouse over and then we get lazy because we're like well, we already got them, I don't really need to do all those things anymore.
5:40
Amy: And yeah, you don't have to always look perfect, you don't always have to.
5:43
Amy: We're not saying you have to wear makeup every day or wear the nicest clothes every day, like we're married.
5:47
Amy: Goodness, I would live in sweatpants half the time.
5:50
Amy: That's not what I'm talking about.
5:51
Nick: It's like my eyes have gotten used to the sweatpants I love my sweatpants.
5:55
Amy: I love the sweatpants.
5:56
Amy: I try to find good looking ones sweatpants are sexy, but if I'm gonna clean the house and and work from home in front of my computer.
6:02
Amy: I'm gonna be comfortable, it is what it is, but I still I still take pride in getting my hair, doing my hair looking nice, at least the half top, top half, just kidding.
6:14
Amy: I I still take pride in like, getting ready for date night and trying to look nice for you, like you still.
6:21
Amy: Okay, we all get ready for church, we all put on our nice clothes, we do our hair to go to church.
6:27
Amy: We should still want to dress up for our spouses too, like date night is important.
6:32
Amy: Like you don't have to like, wear a dress or anything but like date night.
6:35
Amy: You still like want to look nice for your.
6:37
Amy: You should want to look nice for your spouse.
6:39
Nick: Absolutely, we're kind of going off.
6:45
Amy: I mean there kind of going off.
6:46
Amy: I mean there's going to be some physical attraction in here and other kinds of attraction we're going to talk about, but it all it all comes down to we have this conversation all the time healthy pride, like.
6:52
Amy: It's not about trying to be look perfect, it's.
6:55
Amy: It's about healthy pride taking care of yourself, taking care of your hygiene and caring about what?
7:01
Nick: because the first the first thing you, as a spouse, or the first thing anyone, are going to notice is your appearance, right, first impression, right, right.
7:10
Nick: And I get that, like you know, when you've been married a long time, it's not a first impression anymore, but you're still.
7:16
Nick: That's like when you see your husband or your wife walk into the room.
7:19
Nick: That's the first thing you're going to notice is how do they look?
7:21
Nick: Right?
7:21
Nick: That's the first thing you're going to notice is how do they look right?
7:24
Amy: Well, and I think a lot of husbands say I don't care what my wife's if she's a messy bun, no makeup on and sweatpants on, I still find her the most attractive person in the world.
7:33
Nick: And I agree.
7:34
Nick: And most husbands agree with that right, I agree with that, like we're not like.
7:38
Amy: You don't have to have a face load of makeup to.
7:40
Amy: Actually, it usually makes you look worse, but but you don't have to be fake to still look attractive, like right, like even just hygiene alone.
7:52
Nick: Yeah, and there's difference in that there's a difference in that versus coming out and looking and presenting yourself like you just don't care, like about caring.
8:00
Nick: Yeah, like you come out in a dirty shirt that's got food on it and you can tell you haven't showered in day.
8:07
Nick: You know what?
8:08
Amy: anyways, don't need to get off the tangent, but okay, well, we're going to jump back from the non-physical and we're going to talk about beauty starts and ends on the inside.
8:17
Amy: I I think the way we talk to our spouse, the the way we treat our spouse, the kind words that we use, like that is also a huge part of making someone beautiful.
8:30
Amy: Like we did a podcast on the positive attitude and like how attractive that is to a spouse.
8:39
Amy: Like when your spouse is just always nagging, whining, complaining, always needing more, never appreciative Like those things become unattractive.
8:43
Amy: Spouse is just always nagging, whining, complaining, always needing more.
8:44
Nick: never appreciative like those things become unattractive on a husband or wife, yeah, for sure when you're positive, when you're positive about yourself, um, just around, about things around you in life in general.
8:58
Amy: That's very attractive and I think that's what most people fell in love with is, most people are being like I do not need the perfect person.
9:04
Amy: I need someone that's fun, someone that cares, someone who cares about my needs, someone who who has the same goals like.
9:11
Amy: There's so much more that we pick in the spouse than just what we see right, yeah, so beauty really does start on the inside.
9:19
Amy: I think most spouses could agree that, like I picked my spouse, yeah, I was attracted to them, but they had all these other things to offer us and me in a relationship, and that's what's like so beautiful, right well, how often do you, whether you were dating or whether you married whatever how often previously did you notice, like, would you?
9:43
Nick: you, maybe your first impression of someone is like you know, they're okay, attractive, wise, but they're not like gorgeous.
9:49
Nick: And then all of a sudden, you get to know their personality.
9:52
Nick: I like them more and more, and you're like, oh my heck, they're the prettiest person in the world to me, right of how confidence and our attitude and all these different things that don't really have anything to do with looks can really cause us to think someone is more beautiful on the inside and outside.
10:11
Amy: Oh, absolutely, and that's kind of the same with friends too Like you meet somebody and you're like, oh, I like you.
10:18
Amy: And then you get to know them and I'm like you're a beautiful person, like you are genuinely a beautiful person.
10:23
Amy: You are like kind and smart and sweet and just all those attributes that just make yeah.
10:31
Nick: I don't know.
10:31
Nick: So let's dive in to the 15 things.
10:35
Nick: Well, that was number one.
10:36
Nick: Oh, number one.
10:37
Nick: We already dove in.
10:39
Amy: Beauty starts on insight.
10:40
Amy: That was number one.
10:41
Nick: Yeah, yeah, okay, okay, yeah, I love it.
10:43
Amy: Nick missed that.
10:44
Amy: Um.
10:45
Amy: The next most most attractive thing you can do in your marriage is to smile more and laugh more together agreed, I love.
10:52
Nick: I love when you're.
10:54
Amy: Every spouse loves when their spouse is happy and smiling and calm and fun, like when you go on a date night and you're actually like having fun together and like giggling and I don't know it's it's.
11:10
Amy: It makes you attractive.
11:12
Nick: Yeah, we did a podcast on that.
11:13
Amy: Yes, we did.
11:14
Amy: I don't remember which one, but we did.
11:17
Amy: The next thing that's super attractive in marriage is when you're playful and flirty with each other.
11:21
Amy: Agreed.
11:22
Nick: Agreed.
11:23
Nick: Wow, you have the same flirt to convert, flirt to oh we did a podcast on flirt to convert yeah so I guess we don't need to dive into that, I think flirting with each other, as even married couples, obviously is a great thing to do which can kind of tie you into being romantic also yeah it's attractive when like your spouse, whatever that looks like, but I think to both spouses, husband or wife, like romance is attractive, right I?
11:52
Amy: think, yeah, romance and flirting kind of go hand in hand yep, um, let's see, okay, we're gonna get kind of more into the physical just a little bit, not, not?
12:05
Amy: Let's get physical you're gonna keep saying it nope, okay, I liked it.
12:11
Amy: Basic hygiene, we kind of already mentioned.
12:13
Amy: Please shower, please brush your teeth brush your.
12:19
Amy: Oh, please brush your teeth, wash your hair pluck your ear, wash your hair.
12:24
Amy: Pluck your ear hairs.
12:26
Amy: Pluck your nose hairs.
12:27
Amy: Trim your beard.
12:28
Amy: Brush your teeth again.
12:30
Nick: Yeah.
12:31
Amy: Let's keep talking about brushing your teeth.
12:32
Amy: I think, everyone gets that.
12:34
Amy: Yeah, when I hear messages from people saying my spouse's hygiene has gone downhill.
12:42
Amy: I was like what, that's a thing, yeah.
12:44
Nick: That's a thing.
12:45
Nick: Yeah, I mean you, that's a thing.
12:46
Nick: You look at some people and they smile and you're like they just do not care.
12:50
Amy: They do not care yeah so yeah, please care, please care.
12:56
Amy: Uh, next one is get out of your pajamas.
12:59
Amy: What if you sleep?
13:04
Amy: Naked then get dressed, you did get out of your pajamas.
13:08
Amy: This one means, like you said, like I cannot live in my sweatpants seven days a week and just never care it's about caring.
13:17
Amy: So even if that means just on date night or or go buy some really sexy I see people sweatpants or whatever.
13:26
Nick: I see people that are out in public in their Crocs and in their pajamas.
13:31
Amy: Hey, a lot of college kids wear that every day.
13:33
Amy: Yeah, it's fine.
13:34
Nick: And sometimes that's okay, I'm not knocking it, are you not knocking it?
13:38
Nick: But if I see you out on a Friday or Saturday night, On date.
13:42
Nick: On a date in your Crocs and your pajama bottoms.
13:46
Nick: Then we got a problem.
13:50
Amy: You're going to get hate email for that one.
13:53
Nick: Well, I'd say it is what it is.
13:55
Amy: Hey, if your spouse has told you that your Crocs and pajamas turn them on, then you rock those.
13:59
Nick: Yeah, I guess if you rock those.
14:01
Nick: If Crocs and pajamas are on your turn on list, then you rock them.
14:05
Amy: If Crocs and pajamas are on your turn-on list, then you rock them.
14:07
Amy: Hey, there's such thing as sexy sweatpants.
14:09
Amy: There was memes going around last year on social media that women were so attracted to their husbands in sweatpants Like gray sweatpants I almost bought you some, you will never see me in Crocs and sweatpants ever.
14:22
Amy: No, that's just me, though.
14:23
Amy: That's just you.
14:24
Amy: Nick's wearing his polo shirt right now.
14:27
Nick: This podcast episode is not sponsored by Crocs.
14:31
Amy: No, it's not Okay.
14:34
Amy: This is where me and Nick differ.
14:36
Amy: I can literally live in my sweatpants, not live in them.
14:39
Amy: But yeah, if I could go a few days, I would change them, I would shower and I would change.
14:44
Amy: I have many pairs.
14:45
Amy: I would still have good hygiene, but there's nothing better.
14:47
Amy: Nick is the kind of guy that's like, even though we both work from home all day long and sometimes we don't have to go anywhere, he is up at 8 am, he is showered, he's dressed, he's in his polo shirt and he's looking good at his computer by 9 am and I was like, okay, hey, whatever floats your boat.
15:06
Nick: I got to give my lady what she wants.
15:09
Amy: What if I really wanted the sweats and Crocs?
15:13
Nick: Almost anything you want.
15:15
Amy: Except for that, I'm a pretty boy.
15:19
Nick: I totally am.
15:19
Nick: He's such a pretty boy.
15:20
Amy: Totally am I love sweatpants, okay, anyways, this is what's great about the podcast you get both sides.
15:26
Amy: You get both sides you learn.
15:28
Nick: You'll learn a lot about us.
15:29
Nick: A lot of people don't know all these things about us.
15:32
Nick: You're getting too much information, probably.
15:34
Nick: You're probably like I didn't need to know that about nick and amy.
15:37
It's okay I shouldn't have said that, okay too much information yeah tmi, tmi sorry TMI, Sorry about the TMI.
15:50
Amy: The next one is just get rid of the clothes that make you look homeless.
15:53
Amy: It's like sometimes in your marriage you just have to like go through the closets and like let your spouse have some kind of opinion on some of the stuff you wear.
15:59
Nick: We haven't done this.
16:00
Amy: You don't have to be like I love that, I hate that outfit, you're never wearing that again.
16:04
Amy: Like it's not a controlling kind of thing, it's just like that one.
16:07
Amy: I really like that.
16:08
Amy: That one's like ugh when you wear that.
16:10
Amy: I'm not quite feeling it.
16:11
Nick: Oh yeah, no, what we should do.
16:13
Nick: What we should do is we should have a day where you go through my closet and I'll go through yours and we basically toss what we we're like, ah yeah.
16:22
Amy: Oh my gosh, Would that be bad.
16:24
Nick: We would learn a lot.
16:25
Nick: I'd be like what?
16:26
Nick: You don't like that shirt.
16:27
Nick: I've never liked that shirt, nick, you look awful in it, but I've never wanted to say anything.
16:33
Amy: Well, the good news is, I haven't ever said anything.
16:36
Nick: No, you haven't.
16:37
Amy: Because I think you should be able to wear what you feel good in.
16:41
Amy: And you are the same way were very respectful.
16:46
Amy: I know you rock you rock it.
16:47
Nick: You just rock what you got.
16:48
Nick: Well, everyone's got different styles.
16:49
Nick: So yeah, that would be, but no, you're.
16:49
Nick: You're right, amy does have some shirts, that she comes out and I'm like giddy up, that is like are you serious?
16:56
Amy: oh, yeah, oh I had a sweater, I don't know.
16:59
Amy: You called it the doomy sweater the doomy sweater.
17:01
Nick: She would walk out that sweater.
17:02
Amy: I was like mama why are you wearing the doomy mama?
17:05
Amy: Why are you wearing the do me sweater Every time?
17:06
Nick: Why are you wearing the do me sweater?
17:07
Nick: She's like what do you mean?
17:08
Nick: The do me sweater, Dude, you're totally flaunting and throwing yourself at me wearing this sweater.
17:13
Amy: It was a full covered sweater.
17:15
Amy: Like long, long sleeves, turtleneck yeah, exactly.
17:19
Nick: Oh my gosh Funny Exactly.
17:20
Amy: Oh my gosh Funny.
17:22
Amy: Okay, this conversation is just getting funny.
17:24
Amy: Um, be sweet.
17:26
Amy: Be sweet, Sweetness is attractive.
17:30
Amy: Be romantic I kind of already brought that one up but, it's like words.
17:34
Amy: It's like words have power.
17:36
Amy: They have power to bring life to a marriage, romance to the marriage, passion to the marriage.
17:41
Amy: Like your words matter, so we're going to call this one.
17:44
Amy: Your words are either attractive or they're super unattractive.
17:48
Nick: As Greg Norman would say, you are a hot chick.
17:52
Amy: He's cute with his wife.
17:53
Amy: He calls her a hot chick all the time he's way cute.
17:56
Amy: He's our instructor for a marriage retreat and they're amazing.
18:00
Nick: Anyways, he'll give you a bunch of one-liners at the marriage retreat.
18:02
Nick: Anyways, he'll give you a bunch of one liners at the marriage retreat I came out of there changing my lingo or changing the way I talk based on what I heard, I cause I'm laughing so hard.
18:10
Nick: Baby, you're one hot chick.
18:12
Amy: I'm like oh he can get away with it Like he can, he's great away with it.
18:18
Amy: Um, the next thing that makes you super attractive in marriage is like treating your spouse the way that you want to be treated.
18:27
Nick: Yes, yeah, I do that.
18:29
Nick: I always am trying to make love with you because that's the way I want to be treated.
18:33
Nick: So I I try to do that way.
18:35
Nick: I try to treat you the way I want to be treated.
18:38
Amy: Um, like yeah yeah, that's a great thing.
18:40
Amy: That's a great thing.
18:40
Amy: It, it's very attractive.
18:42
Nick: It's very attractive, yeah.
18:43
Amy: It's very attractive.
18:46
Nick: Give an example.
18:47
Nick: Yeah, let's hear an example from your side as to what that would look like.
18:55
Nick: I'm totally putting you on the spot.
18:57
Amy: You're totally putting me on the spot.
19:00
Amy: Treat your spouse the way you want to be treated.
19:02
Amy: If I want Nick to desire me, I should desire him back.
19:05
Amy: So I think it's great when I say, hey, do you want to have naked movie night tonight?
19:09
Amy: And it makes him all excited.
19:12
Nick: Praise the Lord, hallelujah.
19:15
Amy: Like now I lost my train of thought that's awesome.
19:21
Amy: No, that's true though.
19:22
Amy: Is that the example you wanted, right I?
19:26
Nick: know I had no idea what was coming, but that is a great example you're I just wanted to make you smile.
19:32
Nick: Oh, you made me totally smile.
19:33
Nick: She could see my face.
19:35
Nick: I'm blushing red again.
19:36
Nick: Well, it's so true, though really like treat your spouse the way you want to be treated, like just make an effort and say things and do the things that you would like in return the funny thing is I don't want to get into this whole sexual intimacy, emotional intimacy game that's played in marriage, because we talk about that all the time.
19:52
Amy: But isn't it funny how, like a wife wants to be desired, she wants to be complimented, she wants to feel attractive in the marriage, she wants the husband to think she's sexy.
20:01
Amy: Hopefully she wants, she wants to be wine and dined a little bit like she did when she's dating.
20:06
Amy: I mean, you could say you don't want those.
20:08
Amy: But every woman like still wants to be treated the way they were when they were dating.
20:12
Amy: Right, they want to be desired.
20:14
Amy: Yet so many women like don't do the things that make the husband feel desired.
20:19
Amy: Like is that even fair?
20:20
Amy: Like it's not fair.
20:22
Amy: So I just think it's like.
20:24
Amy: If I could say something about commitment, I think it's important that if we expect to feel desired, we should be giving that back that is great advice.
20:35
Nick: That's kind of off subject.
20:37
Amy: But that, that was one of the things if you want to be treated one way you should do it back, and a lot of husbands agreed in our surveys and that they wanted to be romanced.
20:45
Amy: It looked different and that is very attractive it is attractive, yeah when you do that, it's a very attractive to a man when a woman an issue when their wife initiates sex right like I feel stupid, desired and and your wife wants to feel desired.
20:58
Amy: So we gotta, we gotta, give and take right yeah, really good the.
21:01
Amy: The next one.
21:02
Amy: This one is not physical, but kind of I don't know when are you going to put this one?
21:12
Amy: Buy lingerie.
21:14
Amy: Buy lingerie that fits your body and you feel good in it and do it for your spouse.
21:19
Amy: That's attractive.
21:20
Nick: Yeah, so I think that falls under physical and not physical, because it falls under both obviously it's a visual and physical thing for men, but also it's a confidence thing.
21:30
Nick: When a woman comes out in lingerie, it's like here you go, baby, here you go, baby, here you go, this is what you want.
21:36
Nick: Feast your eyes, feast your eyes, unwrap this package like that is um that is like that.
21:42
Nick: Just that confidence is very attractive too.
21:45
Amy: And it's not even about.
21:48
Nick: Like what if I were to walk out on our trip in a Speedo?
21:52
Nick: Would that not be confident?
21:54
Nick: Would you not be like oh man, he's owning it.
21:56
Nick: He should not be wearing this with those tan lines.
21:59
Amy: Oh, please don't do that.
22:00
Amy: And the pool's?
22:01
Nick: cold, Like that's just.
22:02
Amy: I love you, please don't.
22:04
Nick: Oh, but wouldn't that be attractive?
22:06
Nick: No, okay.
22:06
Amy: No.
22:07
Amy: So it doesn't quite work both ways.
22:09
Amy: All the time it doesn't quite work both ways.
22:11
Nick: Okay, no, speedo All right.
22:12
Amy: I don't know.
22:12
Amy: Some wives might think that their husband looks killer in a Speedo.
22:16
Amy: Maybe it really works out.
22:19
Nick: Yeah.
22:21
Amy: I would still prefer.
22:22
Amy: Even if you had like a 20 pack in your stomach, I would still be like pick the boxers, not the Speedo.
22:28
Nick: Yeah.
22:29
Amy: That's just me.
22:30
Amy: You can write us and let us know different, but confidence is very attractive.
22:34
Nick: Confidence is attractive, hey look when I see a guy out there in a Speedo that should not be in a Speedo, I'm like hey, that dude's got some confidence, it's true, you got to give it to him.
22:45
Amy: You've got to give it to him, he is rocking it.
22:47
Amy: And there's some women that wear string bikinis that I'm like oh, I don't know that I would be wearing that if I were you, but I am so proud of you being so confident.
23:01
Amy: I don't even have that kind of confidence.
23:04
Nick: Yeah, absolutely, so that is confidence.
23:07
Amy: I think spouses find confidence very attractive.
23:10
Whatever?
23:11
Amy: that looks like.
23:11
Amy: Whatever it looks, like For sure, when a wife's like covering herself up and doesn't want to see her spouse and want her spouse to see her spouse to see her naked, or always keeps the light off, like I think that we have to remember that you don't have to have a perfect body for your spouse to be attracted to you.
23:28
Amy: I'm glad you said that, because you don't.
23:30
Nick: That's really important you don't, and part of that, like you said, is confidence.
23:34
Nick: Confidence you don't need.
23:35
Nick: Okay, the world has the ideal thing of what a beautiful body is, but most, most of us that are married like think our spouse is the most attractive person in the world.
23:46
Amy: They probably don't think they're the most, let's be honest.
23:47
Amy: They probably don't think they're the most attractive person in the world, let's be honest.
23:51
Amy: But they're still super attractive to their spouse and they're not comparing.
23:55
Nick: Well, yeah, they love their spouse, they love their spouse, they love their spouse, exactly.
24:00
Amy: You don't have to think your spouse is the most I mean, that's a whole other conversation to have.
24:04
Amy: But when you truly love somebody, you are fully attracted to them, just the way they are, because that love is deeper right.
24:11
Nick: Exactly.
24:11
Amy: The love is deeper.
24:12
Amy: So yeah, confidence.
24:14
Amy: Showing up Sexy lingerie isn't always just for the guy, it's to make you feel sexy and get out of your mom mode too.
24:22
Mm-hmm.
24:23
Amy: There's just I don't know.
24:24
Amy: I know there's like controversial opinions on all this stuff.
24:27
Amy: This is just our opinion, Take it for what it's worth.
24:29
Nick: It's free advice.
24:31
Free advice.
24:31
Nick: Free opinion so yeah, yeah.
24:34
Nick: That's what you're getting.
24:40
Amy: And this list is a great list to go talk to your spouse about.
24:42
Amy: Like what, what of these things do you find attractive?
24:43
Amy: How can I step it up in this area and let's have this conversation right exercise, eating right, eating healthy, taking care of yourself.
24:54
Amy: You don't, like we said, don't have to have this perfect body, have to be a gym fanatic.
24:57
Amy: You don't have to have this perfect body, you don't have to be a gym fanatic.
24:59
Amy: You don't have to be a diet fanatic.
25:01
Amy: You don't have to be a nutritionalist.
25:02
Amy: But taking care of yourself is attractive because you're like.
25:06
Amy: I love you.
25:07
Amy: I want this marriage to last.
25:08
Amy: I want to have good health.
25:09
Nick: I want to be able to do stuff together when we get older.
25:12
Nick: So when you go out and play pickleball and exercise, that's very attractive to me, not because of the attractive outfit you're wearing, but it in all seriousness is attractive because it shows me it's like hey, she cares about her body, right not even just your body, like your mental.
25:28
Amy: Well, that's what I'm saying, not not?
25:30
Nick: your physical body.
25:30
Nick: She cares about her body, keeping it healthy, regardless of what your body looks like.
25:35
Amy: No, no, no, I'm just saying it's not even all physical like, it's not even like trying to look good or just take care of your body.
25:42
Amy: It's mental too.
25:43
Amy: Like when your spouse is eating right and exercising.
25:46
Amy: They're taking care of their spirit, their mental, spiritual, all that side too.
25:51
Amy: Like I mean, there's lots of parts to us.
25:53
Amy: Yeah, yeah, but that's what I mean.
25:55
Nick: It's like just the fact that you care about how physically healthy you are.
26:01
Nick: You're like, hey, I want to live a good life with my husband.
26:04
Nick: I'm going to go exercise, like that's attractive.
26:06
Nick: And vice versa, if you see me out there jogging, hopefully that's attractive.
26:12
Amy: I love that you are motivated to go run every morning.
26:14
Amy: I think it's attractive and you don't have to go play a sport or go running whatever it's attractive and you don't have to go play a sport or go running, whatever.
26:21
Amy: Just trying to keep your body fit and to eat healthy is attractive.
26:27
Amy: I think everyone would agree with this.
26:28
Amy: I don't think it's controversial.
26:32
Nick: Yeah, regardless of what my body looked like, if you saw me just eating Twinkies all the time and Cheetos and stuff like that.
26:36
Nick: That would probably be unattractive because you're like he just doesn't care.
26:38
Nick: Cheetos and stuff like that.
26:39
Nick: That would probably be unattractive because you're like he just doesn't care, versus like, hey, let's eat here tonight because it'll be a little bit healthier.
26:45
Amy: I think everyone knows the better you take care of yourself in all those areas, the more quality life you're going to have.
26:51
Nick: The happier you're going to be as well, mentally, physically.
26:54
Nick: You're just going to have, hopefully, a better life.
27:01
Amy: I hope everyone knows at this age that you are what you eat Like.
27:03
Amy: I always tell my kids that I'm like.
27:11
Amy: You will be happier, smarter, more athletic, more energy, more positive if you eat right Like.
27:13
Amy: It's just common sense.
27:13
Amy: You know it's just common sense.
27:15
Nick: It doesn't mean you can't indulge, it doesn't mean, you don't need dessert?
27:17
Nick: Okay, have a pop you better believe that I have my.
27:21
Nick: I have the things that I like absolutely um attractiveness.
27:26
Amy: Making your spouse a priority, like literally picking your spouse over your phone, is very attractive or over your friends sometimes or just pick, just making your spouse feel important making your spouse feel important.
27:42
Amy: Not a whole lot to say on that one, I'm gonna add in.
27:45
Amy: I think this goes both ways, but being an awesome parent is super attractive, like so many women that took our surveys about attraction stated that when their husband is like hanging out with their kids, being a cute dad, reading their kids a story, going to catching the ball, like you did yesterday, like like I don't think a lot of husbands realize, like when I see you outside throwing the ball, I'm like that is so attractive to me.
28:11
Nick: Or like when you're I saw you staring through the window and and dressing me with your eyes.
28:15
Amy: Yeah, exactly what was happening.
28:18
Amy: Eyes yeah, exactly what was happening.
28:23
Amy: No, like on like serious though, like, and I bet, when I'm being on like an awesome mom, like that's attractive, like I think oh for sure, there's so many ways to be attractive when it comes to like being an awesome parent yeah agreed I yeah, absolutely, absolutely agreed and yeah, I think that was it.
28:39
Nick: I think that's our list.
28:40
Amy: I think that's the list, just the last.
28:42
Amy: It ended with being positive.
28:44
Amy: I think and I know we kind of brought that up but being positive is so attractive, like just having a positive attitude, being grateful, being positive, like being appreciative, being happy.
28:56
Amy: And if that's not happening in your marriage, figure out how like there's nothing and depression's real, like that kind of stuff is real help your spouse get the help that they need so they can, they can be happy again because it is attractive yeah, and I'm gonna end with this, this word of wisdom if you want to be attractive, be attractive if you want to be attractive be attractive yeah, I like that, that's deep babe, I know it's deep it makes you really think about things we always say, though, if you want to be desired, be desirable.
29:34
Nick: Same thing, same thing you can apply that with anything.
29:38
Nick: If you want to be happy, be happy yeah, that's good, do a podcast episode on that just joking, making amy's words of wisdom so you want to be attractive be attractive if you want to be attracted um, we got stuck there.
29:59
Nick: She lost it.
30:00
Nick: Well, hopefully you enjoyed the podcast.
30:03
Nick: It's fun to talk about these things and share experiences and make them fun and light hearted as well.
30:10
Amy: Should we announce our new?
30:13
Nick: Yeah, we have an exciting Announcement.
30:16
Amy: This is a huge announcement.
30:18
Amy: It's huge, me or you?
30:21
Nick: I think you should announce it.
30:22
Nick: I am so excited I can hardly contain it.
30:28
Amy: We have launched Our new app.
30:31
Amy: I said it.
30:35
Nick: The word's out.
30:35
Nick: We created a new app.
30:37
Nick: It's called the you and I app.
30:39
Nick: It's still a you and an.
30:39
Nick: It's called the.
30:40
Amy: You and I app, it's still a you and an I, and it's you and I.
30:44
Nick: You and I, and it's got a lot of great features, a lot of great new features.
30:49
Nick: It's very compatible with the Ultimate Intimacy app, but it has a bunch of features that we don't have on the Ultimate Intimacy app.
30:57
Amy: That you're going to want.
30:59
Nick: That you're going to want.
31:00
Amy: Right now.
31:00
Nick: So the app is out.
31:03
Nick: It's called you and I Go get it in the app store and you're going to love it.
31:09
Nick: Let us know what you think.
31:11
Amy: We hope you enjoy it.
31:12
Amy: I would love to know if you love it more than the other app or the same, because they're different.
31:19
Amy: They have resources and amazing games and quizzes on both apps.
31:24
Amy: It's like part two of the ultimate intimacy app.
31:26
Amy: I think everyone's going to need both so we hope that you'll check it out and let us know what you think it really is a fun app.
31:32
Nick: Yeah, like amy said, we hope you enjoy it.
31:33
Nick: Give us your feedback and please leave us a review.
31:36
Nick: As it's a new app, we needed get some good reviews to get this thing rolling.
31:41
Nick: So, all right, thank you so much and we hope you find ultimate intimacy relationship.