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How can I manage my emotions during workplace conflict? · Wellbeing Solutions - Ask A Counsellor

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: How can I manage my emotions during workplace conflict?
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Now this is a difficult question to answer because I'm very tempted to answer the question with another question.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: How is it serving you to remain in the conflict?
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I guess my recommendation is always if your emotions become heightened so that they're feeding the conflict and you're not perhaps saying what you want to say, or you're being upset by the environment, then I would always recommend you remove yourself from that environment.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: If it's not possible and this is all going on around you, then there are ways there's a simple tool that I'll give you now to protect you.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's a psychological shield.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: So basically, you imagine yourself in a lovely calm bubble.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: So imagine that bubble to be strong, and the fet a colour that represents calm for you.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: It could be pink, it could be blue, it could be green, it could be anything, gold.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: And then just try and imagine that bubble around you as if you were watching things rather than being involved with things.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: Again, that that can really help, and seeing other people's frustration, anger, bouncing off of your bubble.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it doesn't mean you can't hear what is being said, but it means you're not going to absorb the emotions from it, particularly if you're not directly involved with the conflict.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Now, emotions fuel conflict.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: So when you bring your emotions into a conflict, it's a lot harder to get to a solution or resolution or agreement.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: Differences of opinions can be handled professionally.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: You can respect someone else's opinion and not accept it as your own view or your own it might not sit well with you, but you can accept that's how they feel.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: But anyway, this isn't this isn't about conflict resolution, this is about protecting and managing your own emotions during it.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: So protection from others' emotions is very important.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, your emotions in the moment.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: If they're not helping or serving, then just remove yourself.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's my best advice in this situation.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Write down how you're feeling, maybe time for reflection later in the day.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: If you've got a trusted colleague you can go and speak to, then that's also really helpful.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: So it gives you a good outlet so that you're not pushing your emotions down.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: But time is always of value when you're feeling emotional.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: Even just pausing for breath between sentences, so you know you can feel it building up in you, you can feel your throat tightening up, maybe your heart rate's increasing as you're getting more and more heightened, then's the then is the perfect time to take a nice deep breath in.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Give yourself a few moments to think about how you're going to respond.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: If you're struggling, overwhelmed, feeling outnumbered or intimidated or in any way unsafe psychologically, then please remove yourself from the conflict.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope that's been helpful.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: Please look after yourselves and reach out for support, either from a colleague, from your line manager or HR, um, or in fact us your EAP provider to talk things through.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.