Latest / We Are For Good Podcast - The Podcast for Nonprofits / 120. Get to Know Us. Part 2. Jon Interviews Becky - Jonathan McCoy, CFRE and Becky Endicott, CFRE

Transcript

120. Get to Know Us. Part 2. Jon Interviews Becky - Jonathan McCoy, CFRE and Becky Endicott, CFRE · We Are For Good Podcast - The Podcast for Nonprofits

• 0:02
  Jonathan McCoy: Hey, I'm john.
• 0:03
  Becky Endicott: And I'm Becky.
• 0:04
  Jonathan McCoy: And this is the we are for good podcast.
• 0:06
  Becky Endicott: nonprofits are faced with more challenges to accomplish their missions and the growing pressure to do more, raise more and be more for the causes that improve our world.
• 0:16
  Jonathan McCoy: We're here to learn with you from some of the best in the industry, bringing the most innovative ideas, inspirational stories, all to create an impact uprising.
• 0:24
  Becky Endicott: So welcome to the good community, where nonprofit professionals, philanthropist world changers and rabid fans who are striving to bring a little more goodness into the world.
• 0:35
  Jonathan McCoy: So let's get started.
• 0:37
  Unknown: Hey, Becky, Hi everybody.
• 0:39
  Jonathan McCoy: paybacks can be kind of painful. And it is
• 0:42
  Becky Endicott: like the quid pro quo. Here we go. Let's turn it. Let's turn those tables.
• 0:47
  Jonathan McCoy: Last week, Becky had the most like devilish smile looking at me. Like she loves the idea of sitting me down and making me talk about myself, which was very awkward. But thank you to anybody that has listened to that appreciate three
• 0:59
  Becky Endicott: downloads your mom, my mom, Julie's mom is amazing. There we go.
• 1:03
  Jonathan McCoy: But today, we wanted to, you know, we're 100 and what 20 episodes in, we just wanted to take a moment to just really allow you to get to know us at a deeper level. You know, one of the things that drives us crazy about podcasting is that it feels kind of just one way, a lot of the times conversation.
• 1:20
  Jonathan McCoy: And that's why we created the community because we wanted to have a place where we could all talk and connect after the podcast and just feel like we're all at the same table. But in the midst of that I don't feel like you've gotten to really know, the Becky Endicott that we get to see behind the scenes.
• 1:35
  Jonathan McCoy: And you heard if you've listened to my episode, last week, I talked about the story. And I've known Becky now for almost 20 years, probably. But she is exactly the same human being that she was 20 years ago. I think that speaks a lot to you.
• 1:50
  Jonathan McCoy: But, you know, I saw her in a completely different light. 20 years ago, I was walking in as this lowly intern candidate trying to vie for the job wearing my tie, even though I don't know how to tie a tie was probably was a clip. And Becky has always in my mind been this put together knows what she's doing. own the place. But when the hearts of literally everybody has a personal connection with everybody can talk to a wall and make them feel seen. And that's just part of Becky's DNA, you know. So I, of course, loved meeting her that day and just has not been able to get rid of me since then. But Becky has a way of collecting people. And this is what I've loved watching her.
• 2:30
  Jonathan McCoy: And I truly want her to build a class of how to do this because it's not in a self aggrandizing way it's not so Becky has this most impressive Rolodex, which really does but it's just because she cares so deeply about people. And she's not ever the person to walk by somebody and not stop and try to learn about their story, how she can help them how she can connect with them. And it's like a gift it's a gift of having the heart of having the desire and actually like living it out. You know if somebody is ailing I've seen this happen play out I love it. I'm just ranting about you this point.
• 3:09
  Becky Endicott: Wedding so badly. I know you were feeling last time.
• 3:12
  Jonathan McCoy: This is the type of person she is we've been in healthcare philanthropy, we had the chance to get to know a lot of people throughout the hospital system. And unfortunately, in today's world, healthcare is so complicated.
• 3:23
  Jonathan McCoy: Whether you know Becky or not, if you're having a crisis of somebody in your family, she will stop what she's doing. And she will call the president of the hospital and have him on the line to get things figured out.
• 3:31
  Jonathan McCoy: But that speaks to the type of champion of people that she is, is that she wants people to feel seen love taken care of. And she just does that at scale for 20 plus years, and I'm sure the 20 years before I met her too. So I want to get into your brain, Becky, because it has been fascinating starting a company with you. Everything that we think we know about each other, you know, actually is true. And we realize that it's on steroids whenever you meet, and you whenever you step out and launch a company together. And truly, it's hilarious like neither one of us have this business acumen or, you know, this real strong plan behind the scenes were just Becky knows how to love people and how to seek people out and allow them to feel seen. And she's just using that superpower to grow what I think is the heart of our company. I think I've kind of helped create some of the strategy and the creative idea. But Becky's created this heartbeat. And so today I want to like get to the core. What is this heart? Where did it come from? What drives it? And how can we emulate it? Honestly,
• 4:38
  Becky Endicott: wow, what a question. No one's ever asked me that before and honestly, I don't know that I've thought about it but your
• 4:45
  Jonathan McCoy: emphasis for being so empathetic and so conscious of other people.
• 4:50
  Becky Endicott: I have always just been hardwired to like look around. And that concept of looking around is something I didn't notice. I think until I was like in my 30s. But even like when I walk into a room, I always scan. And it's not because I'm thinking, How do I build my network? It's just like, Who do I know here? Who do I want agree, like, who's in the corner? I'm sure I feel like we've heard this a couple times on the podcast. But you know, I have a very distinct memory in elementary school of, you know, being in, I think, first grade or kindergarten. And there was a little boy in my school, who was quirky and very different. And he literally had no friends. And every day when I would go sit in the cafeteria, I would look over at him and my heart would just feel so crushed for the way that his head would be down, and eating with his head down alone at a table. And, and I just remember just thinking like, I wish that that wasn't the case.
• 5:54
  Becky Endicott: And as fearless as you know me to be, I was also not brave enough and not secure enough within myself that I could break from my friend and go over and sit with him. Now I would play with him on the playground, for sure. And I would try to bring him into our games and things but but I don't know, I don't know what it is. I mean, I am. I have an incredibly privileged life. I've lived an incredibly privileged life. I have been extremely well loved my entire life. I have been nurtured. I have a great family. And we're Italian, which will probably explain a lot of things about the level of my tone of voice and how loud I am, how much I talk, how I love to be in community over meals. I love pasta, and we do a very big like ravioli, making day, and it takes all day and we make 1000 ravioli usually once a year before COVID. And yeah, drink kiante all day and listen to Puccini. It's great. But yeah, I don't know. I mean, my mom and I have talked about this before.
• 7:08
  Becky Endicott: And I just think there is something hardwired in my brain that shut down the practicality and amplified the empathy. And I am just very curious about people the way that you are curious about business. And I want to know what makes them tick. And I have such a sense of wanting to find harmony. And if you're someone that does Myers Briggs, I'm a ESF J. And that that personality type is called the harmonizer. And a lot of people I think, think that I'm very confrontational. And I do confront conflict immediately.
• 7:44
  Becky Endicott: But it's it's mostly out of the basis of I just don't like unrest. I don't like there to be discourse anywhere. And so I can just tell you that we are for good. It's providing an incredible outlet for me to hear amazing stories, love on people.
• 8:02
  Becky Endicott: And I will tell you, that is a very selfish feeling. Because I get so much out of that.
• 8:08
  Jonathan McCoy: Well, Becky went to I mean, a very common high school, I would say in Oklahoma City Metroplex. But let me tell you, it's a dynasty because somehow funny, Julie, and I laugh about this, if you go out to lunch with Becky, it's my favorite. If you go out to coffee with Becky Becky will see somebody, inevitably, that went to that high school. That's the dynasty. But even if they didn't, she will see at least one probably a handful of people that you have crossed paths with. And I'm not talking about the nod the wave, I'm talking about the I'm going to go over, I am going to enthusiastically hug you, it's probably
• 8:45
  Unknown: a 20 minute conversation, and it will be a
• 8:47
  Jonathan McCoy: 20 minute conversation because she will remember who their spouse is, how many kids they have, what color hair they probably had, and what's their story, and how are they doing and all of the things and it's fascinating to us to watch it play out. You know, we will work on Tuesdays and Thursdays sometimes we go to the coffee shop and just kind of plow through we're for good things together. And is the most hilarious thing to watch you do this because it's not contrived.
• 9:14
  Jonathan McCoy: It's 100% present. But it is fascinating. I'm just curious, like what point you know, in your high school journey, did you realize that you're just like this collector of people and like, what, when did that happen?
• 9:27
  Becky Endicott: I mean, we used to have a running joke in my family. I guess we still do that. Like Becky knows everybody. And we I remember one time I was like nine we were traveling to see my grandmother in St. Louis. And we stopped at this random rest stop in the middle of nowhere to like use the facilities and I'm walking up to the facilities with I mean, everybody's going their own ways. And I see somebody I know and I'm nine to them. And my my father still points to that is like what what in the heck has happened? So I've seen people in Vegas that I've known I've met, I've seen people in Crested Butte, Colorado. I've seen people on the ski slopes. I saw somebody that I knew in Mexico last year, so I truly cannot answer this question.
• 10:17
  Jonathan McCoy: So Becky and I went to the same alma mater, Oklahoma State. And I love my college experience, I had the best time truly love those five years, every one of them, but I've never been the type that's like bleeds orange. Like a lot of these diehard fans. Becky is one of those that is so orange through and through cowboy orange, will you tell us a little bit about your college experience? And when did you you know, figure out you wanted to go to maybe the nonprofit band?
• 10:44
  Jonathan McCoy: or What were you doing
• 10:45
  Becky Endicott: that that actually is an interesting story, just because I was one of these campus climbers, you know, my whole life was like, Julie.
• 10:51
  Becky Endicott: And so you know, I did a lot of stuff. And it's because it's not because of any reason other than I am just a really high extrovert. And so I get all my energy from being around people hearing their stories, it's never an imposition for somebody to come over and visit with me, it's actually kind of a gift.
• 11:11
  Becky Endicott: And so my outlet for that was just getting involved in a lot of stuff, you know, which probably built the network. So yeah, I went to college did a lot of stuff. And I honestly think that if I went to Podunk University in the middle of you know, wherever Montana, I would probably be just as rabid of a fan of my alma mater, I just think I'm an enthusiast about the place that I'm in. And so yeah, I mean, I just had a great college experience very involved on campus. And my greatest joy was just to go and visit and be and get activated, I wanted to make a difference. I think a lot of people in the nonprofit space like find themselves wanting to plug in, in a lot of different ways. And I always felt that need to want to plug in, and there were things that brought me more joy than others. But, you know, even this company alone, when we started this, even nine months ago, I was literally reaching out to people I have not talked to since college, but we may be a Facebook friend, or maybe we're LinkedIn, and just reconnecting and saying, Hey, you know, we have a great friendship, and you have this incredible network for wherever you are in the world.
• 12:23
  Becky Endicott: If you feel compelled to, like want to share this, this journey that we're on, please do so. And I was shocked at how many people actually responded, they were gracious in the way that they opened up their networks. And I just think that maybe the lesson here is that don't just go to college, don't just go to class, like this is the time in your life. Like to I hear these, you know, if you're a young professional right now, or you're a college student, like embrace the journey, and there's so many opportunities there, I will tell you that the way that I was able to plug in, as a student helped me immensely when I was a fundraiser or when I worked at Oklahoma State University's foundation as a marketer, because all of these big donors, I knew their kids, I knew I knew something about this student organization they were in because I was in it, or I knew this history, or you know, there's just so many endpoints.
• 13:18
  Becky Endicott: And so I think if you can walk through your life, thinking that everybody is a connection, and not everybody's going to necessarily be a great connection or a great person, but it's like, beat you. Anybody can collect people. And my husband would probably say that's not true, because he's an introvert, and he does not get his energy from being around people. And so I respect that.
• 13:41
  Becky Endicott: But yeah, I just, I just love my alma mater. And it gave me a great opportunity to get my footing and journalism and public relations. And so I did a lot of internships in college and I did a intern at a really big corporation. And I remember like, day three going this, these are not my people. This is not my jam. I did an agency one summer I worked at a PR and advertising agency and then I thought, this is really not my jam. So it's more of just like
• 14:09
  Jonathan McCoy: a realizing what you didn't want. Oh my
• 14:11
  Becky Endicott: gosh, he was like process of elimination. And so I got my first job out of college in a space that I felt so joyful about getting paid peanuts. I will even share this Why don't we share our salaries$24,500 to go work at a science museum and do public relations there. It was the most joyful job of my life. Yeah, I was Poe.
• 14:29
  Becky Endicott: I was real poor. But it was okay. I loved like being at the bottom working my way up. Yeah.
• 14:39
  Becky Endicott: And I just once I've, like tasted that, that feeling of nonprofit. I was like, these are my people and I'm never going back.
• 14:47
  Jonathan McCoy: Well, you kind of pass in passing mentioned your husband Kyle. And I would say if Becky's the most empathetic, truly kind hearted human being. Kyle isn't the opposite of that he is Like the most steady, trustworthy, loyal human that I've ever met, I'm in Vegas fan and a renaissance man like he can, like do it. He's like a woodworker. So I mean, he can, like, do it all, totally can do it all. So like, I got to hear the story of like you and Kyle. And because Did you not completely overwhelm him with your personality?
• 15:19
  Becky Endicott: 100% and he tells me all the time, like, the first six months, he did not think that I was genuine. He was like, testing me out. I know.
• 15:27
  Becky Endicott: Right? He kept? Well, I don't know. I mean, Kyle is such a pragmatist, and I don't know that he had ever been around anybody like me before. And he is just a, you know, he can be very quiet and, and calm in his thoughts. And so the notion that this like boisterous, impulsive, loud, like I would, I mean, I don't know that he had ever been hugged as much in his life as like me when I would just I still hug him all the time. And he's just truly the greatest human being I've ever known. And he is an enneagram. He's an eight. And this, if you know anybody, that's an eight. I think the eights get a bad rap, because they tend to be labeled as aggressors. challenger, right? Yeah. There's a challenger. And he is the challenger. And he challenges everything. And here's my incredibly kind, loving husband, who is a family law attorney.
• 16:31
  Becky Endicott: And he goes in and litigates, you know, during the week, and he fights for custody, he does divorces, he does some adoption.
• 16:41
  Becky Endicott: And you know, it's some of I think, it would be the hardest thing in the world for me to like, wake up every day and do something like that, I could not do it. And I used to teach them all the time that I make the difference, and he makes the living so. But he is I can never give Kyle enough credit because as out loud of a person as I am.
• 17:07
  Becky Endicott: He is such the equalizer. And he can be just as impactful as I am for people who are watching and watching and listening and seeing him do it quietly. And I think that I just don't know what my life would be like. And I hope there are other people out there listening who just think of their spouses. And I mean, let's be honest. I mean, he is a litigator, and I am a formally trained crisis communications professional. So when we debate it is all about presentation. And neat. And both of us are so obstinate, that it is like a force to watch us debate on an issue. But he really does bring out the best parts of me and I just feel so blessed to live this life and walk alongside him.
• 17:56
  Jonathan McCoy: And what's your celebrity mashup name?
• 17:59
  Becky Endicott: Oh, our celebrity mashup name is bile.
• 18:02
  Becky Endicott: Becky and Kyle. And yours is jaundice. JOHN?
• 18:07
  Unknown: violin, jaundice.
• 18:10
  Jonathan McCoy: People are tuning about dynasty. Oh, my God. Oh, well, I think you know, you've shared a little bit about your family's story. But I mean, your girls are amazing. And so they're actually here today, which is kind of fun. Tell us a little bit about your family's journey and and how philanthropy is even threatened I think is really special.
• 18:31
  Becky Endicott: I think if anybody ever listened to early on, we did a we did an episode it had been like maybe the fourth or fifth Friday that we ever did an episode and we were doing it on. I think it was simplify and tell a good story of simplify humanize and tell a good story. And my I did not have an easy journey to motherhood. And like I said before, I just grew up with great parents. And I just had such a close relationship with my mother and deeply wanted to be a mother. And it just, I did not have the anatomical whatever. I mean, I'm part of the 1/3 and nigma of infertility of people that just don't know why I could never get pregnant.
• 19:12
  Becky Endicott: And so similar to the journey you shared last week, john, we did went through a lot of the fertility journey. We did it in Stillwater when I was working at OSU and then we also came down to integris and worked in Oklahoma City and had this incredible insurance provided to us. And we went through IVF I was scared to death that seemed like something that happened to your point to other people. I could not believe this was my life. But I was so desperate at the time to just cling to any level of hope. And went through the IVF process. I guess I'm telling a story about my second child right now. And we were able to get pregnant with her on the first try. We're incredibly lucky that Again is incredible privilege on my part because I've just mentored and talked to so many women who have not had the easiest journey in their fertility journey. And so we, you know, we had been trying for years. And when I first came to integris, we were building this employee giving campaign. And as we were building it, we're trying to have this family and of course, you have things going on at work. And then there's things that are distractors in your life. And we're building this campaign, and we're also building it around this concept, if you listen to our employee giving series, it was what is your passion, and mine was very easy. It was it was mental health, and it was fertility.
• 20:35
  Becky Endicott: And it was because I had connections to both of those things. And, you know, through the campaign, I would be giving to the fertility passion, year after year. And then I think it was year four, of being an integris. I got pregnant, and we were just so overjoyed. We, I mean, I've videotaped the call them call it, they call and tell you whether it worked or not, which is the worst agony of like the hours before that waiting for the phone call. And so when we went into check the baby's heartbeat for the first time, it was on a Saturday morning, God bless our nurses and our endocrinologist that like work seven days a week, because getting a woman on her right cycle on the right day. I mean, it's just a level of sacrifice I cannot even imagine. So we went in, I got to hear her heartbeat.
• 21:28
  Becky Endicott: And I look over at the machine.
• 21:33
  Becky Endicott: And there is the little employee campaign icon that john literally created. And we decided in the first year, we were going to put these little icons on everything that we bought, so that as you walk around our hospitals and through our organization, you would year after year compound, the effect of all of these things that our employees are buying, and I had this moment where I'm like, holy crap, I helped buy this machine three years ago. It's crazy. And it was like the full circle nature of I was so invested in something I couldn't see at the time. And it benefited me later on. And I didn't give because it would benefit me I gave because I wanted to stand in solidarity with all the other mothers like me or fathers or, you know, hopeful couples everywhere. And I just thought, This is what my life is all about. And I wanted and I think I've just been chasing the high of that realization of that moment, my whole life and I just want to somehow duplicate it and give it to as many people as possible.
• 22:43
  Becky Endicott: So
• 22:46
  Jonathan McCoy: I must like your personal story like fed your professional desire to like, spread this.
• 22:51
  Unknown: Oh my gosh, you're right. But philanthropy. Yeah.
• 22:56
  Jonathan McCoy: Taking a quick pause from today's episode to thank our sponsor, who happens to be one of our favorite companies virtuous, you know, we believe everyone matters. And we've witnessed the greatest philanthropic movements happen when you see an activate donors at every level. And virtuous is the platform to help you do just that. It's so much more than a nonprofit CRM. virtuous helps charities reimagine generosity through responsive fundraising.
• 23:15
  Jonathan McCoy: And we love it because this approach builds trust and loyalty through personalized donor engagement. Some, like virtuous may be a fit for your organization, learn more today@virtuous.org Follow the link in our show notes. Okay, so what I love about that season of life like you, obviously your family was growing and changing.
• 23:35
  Jonathan McCoy: You kind of also had like a professional pivot at that time, because you had been in the marketing and I feel like we used to be like fiercely like, we're marketers disguised as fundraisers, we're not,
• 23:46
  Becky Endicott: we're not going over into those gray areas, or departments
• 23:49
  Jonathan McCoy: that you even took a harder pivot straight into major gifts. And I think it's a position you were like, I'm never gonna be a gift officer, you know, but all of us around you were like, you would be the most dynamic gift of us.
• 24:02
  Jonathan McCoy: Are you kidding me? You love to talk and get to know people and understand their story and how that could connect. So I mean, what was that transition like for you? And what would you tell somebody that's thinking about going into this, maybe dispel some of what it seems like it is and what it really is,
• 24:16
  Becky Endicott: okay, the story of why I did that is really fascinating. And it ties back to my children. So and it will also show you what an erotic planner I am and how my girls are like my whole world and I adore them and just, I'm just so grateful every day for them. And then of course I am I just think you don't go through infertility without coming out of that just seeing your children in a different white night light and I don't want to diminish the way anybody else feels about their children. But, you know, I took this job in Oklahoma City. When my eldest daughter was four months old, and I negotiated when I came in I said, I will take this job. But in five years, when she goes to kindergarten, I want to leave at 3pm. And I want that written into my contract. And I think I was 30 at the time, which even now I'm like, Where in the world did you have like the bold level of good spot to go in there?
• 25:22
  Becky Endicott: Those conversations
• 25:23
  Jonathan McCoy: now seem a little more of the moment with work from home, but 12 years ago, that was very disruptive.
• 25:29
  Becky Endicott: And so they said, Yes. And so I went about and worked my typical 40 to 50 hours a week was trying to be mom, have the second kid and life just gets more chaotic with life. And you know, the more kids you're adding, and the more you're growing in your career.
• 25:46
  Becky Endicott: And we had a lot of, I don't know what the right word is, we had some restructuring in our organization. And for one reason or another, we had a complete change of leadership. And they did not support this ideal for my contract. And for whatever reason, it wasn't as ironclad as I thought it was. And so I was kind of in the stubborn while honestly, that's a deal breaker for me, because I need to be able to be mom. And I can't be mom three hours a day, you know.
• 26:19
  Becky Endicott: And so they came back to me and said, Okay, we'll let you leave at three. But you've got to take over major gifts. And it was like the cue of the season, because I was like, I do not want to do that at all. And I'm not passionate about that. I don't know that I can throw myself into that. I mean, I know what to do. But I don't I don't honestly know that I can do that. Well, I just didn't, I had a lot of doubt self doubt about it. And at the end of the day, I kind of just decided I will clean the bathrooms at this organization. If it means I get to go home and be at home at three o'clock and have that after school time to do piano to do homework to do play Candyland. Whatever it is. And so I said yes. And I remember calling our former CEO, Kirk Joel. And, and I, it was like a 10 minute conversation, maybe less. And I remember just asking him one question. Do you think I can do this? And why I needed that affirmation from someone.
• 27:21
  Becky Endicott: And he was so gracious and supportive and was like, not only can you do it, you can do it. I think you're gonna do it incredibly well. And it just was that kind of like we talked about yesterday, like, Candace gave you that one little last nudge that you needed to step out. And that was the nudge I needed? Were so thank you, Kirk.
• 27:42
  Becky Endicott: And yeah, I ended up having the best time of my life. It's like, extroverts, where are you at?
• 27:48
  Becky Endicott: You get to go and sit down. I mean, a cold call is so you know, that is that is not something that people love to do in development. I'm one of the few I'm like, why not? Yeah, I'll talk to you. I'll talk to anybody. So it was just the joy of my life, because I just got to sit down and say, Tell me your story. And I think I knew the playbook. And I don't want to say I've rejected the fundraising playbook. But I just decided to do it kind of my own way. And I just showed up, ask my own questions. And I really honestly wanted to get to know them. And it just nurtured these relationships. And I dearly dearly love my donors to this day, and incredibly close with many of them. And yeah, so take, that would be my advice. take a leap of faith into something that is new and different. I mean, you have no idea, the way that it will expand your your worldview, your professional credence, and I mean, it expanded my heart, I felt like my friendships grew, I was getting paid to go and spend time engaging people that I loved on topics I was passionate about, it was like the best gig ever.
• 29:27
  Jonathan McCoy: So you've worked with dozens of fundraisers, amazing philanthropist what most fundraisers get wrong about this role?
• 29:33
  Becky Endicott: two things. One, it's not about you, or your ego.
• 29:41
  Becky Endicott: And two, we've got to really be active listeners, and be incredibly tuned in. And I do have great respect for the science of philanthropy and for development and fundraising. And I definitely think that that is a tried and true process. But for me in the way that I want to see people in the way I want people to see me, I am way over on the art side of fundraising, and I would never go in and sit down with someone and begin to cultivate a relationship and tell them all about my mission.
• 30:15
  Becky Endicott: You know, I might do a little bit of that, but it's about understanding who they are and what drives them. What's important to them, what are their values? What are mine? You know, how do those shared values connect back to this mission that I'm trying to serve? What are what are their dreams? I want to know what their dreams are from The onset, you know, because it's not about me, it's not about my mission, it's about how we can kind of hitch our wagons to each other and run together and in chase this thing together, and I'm just a vessel to kind of facilitate those conversations. But if I am following a script, or if I'm saying, here are the five things you need to do on an intro call with a new prospect, they're, they're gonna sniff that out every single time. And so I want to show up as myself, I want to show up as if I was we say it all the time having a cup of coffee, you know, at mom's kitchen table with a friend and I was historically getting, we would have a joke in our office that I would get all the quirky donors, and everybody else would get the button that businessmen so I'm like, bring me your quirky, bring me your odd bring me anyone who is a little unconventional, because it just seemed like an incredible Rubik's cube to like, figure out. And there was always a commonality there. And we were bonded by that. And so yeah, it was a great privilege of mine to be able to do that.
• 31:43
  Jonathan McCoy: So we just had this unique relationship, because we've been dear friends for all these years and get to walk through different life transitions at the same time.
• 31:50
  Jonathan McCoy: And, and I got to see it on your face as pressure was just kind of increasing and responsibility, and family and life, and you're just nurturing for everybody around you in your sphere and taking always taking the call always taking the meeting. What did that do to you, and I asked, knowing what it did to you, but just kind of share a little piece, or a little window into a real turning point. Because I know, it's something that we connect with a lot of us and our own stories.
• 32:20
  Becky Endicott: Yeah, I mean, it, I'm going to tease this because we're gonna have an episode coming up. And I'm going to tell my entire story. And it's really about my mental health crisis. And I think one of the biggest elephants in the room and nonprofit is that we do a lot of what you just said, john, and which is just piling on all the things. And I think particularly, I have a soft spot for enneagram twos. Love you, Julie, have you were both enneagram twos are the helpers.
• 32:51
  Becky Endicott: And we're always checking on each other. Yes, and it's in we cannot look away from need and from suffering. And, and that's not because we're saviors or B, it's just we're hardwired, that we can't move on without knowing that someone is suffering. And there could be a way that I could ease that in. So that has a long term effect when that's been piled on and on and on. And this crisis I'm talking about, I mean, this is not something that happened like 15 years ago, this is something that happened to me like two years ago. And I'm still coming out of it. And I feel the healthiest version of myself now from having to go through that. But self care is massively important. And taking care of yourself, making time for yourself is not something that I was doing. And I will tell you that I had the physical, mental, emotional, complete collapse that I experienced with life two years ago. And I it's something that I feel very passionate about pouring into now is making sure that our mental health, or that our nonprofit professionals have mental health resources that they have bandwidth to breathe, that they have time that they can take off and recharge, and that there's not always this feeling that we're just piling on and on and on without checking in with each other. And so that's going to be an epic story. And we are going to tell it later in season three. So stay tuned,
• 34:23
  Jonathan McCoy: I appreciate your vulnerability in it. And I know as your friend to the process that it always stuck out to me that it really didn't matter when people just checked on him, you know, which is sad that you have to even say that, but I think on the outside. I'm a peacemaker enneagram nine, it's easy to like not step into uncomfortable conversations, even though you want to support your friends. And so I think that's a lesson that I learned through that is that it's never the wrong idea to just check and want to see how you can play again or just just to be able to say I just need my space. That's cool, too, you know, but to not ask is is not good?
• 35:03
  Becky Endicott: Yeah, I think that would be a good takeaway for this conversation is even with infertility, people, even my own family, didn't know how to ask didn't and didn't want to add stress. And and I think the same would be with a mental health crisis. And even when you don't know what to say, say that. I don't know what to say.
• 35:21
  Becky Endicott: But I'm here for you. I'm thinking about you. Is there anything I can do? And an innie gram to will tell you 100% of the time No, there's nothing you could do. can't accept help.
• 35:31
  Becky Endicott: Yes. But manda we appreciate you asking. It's very loving.
• 35:39
  Jonathan McCoy: Well, okay, I want to transition to a little bit of lighter topics, but this one's a little reflective. What would you go back and say to 10 year old Becky 10 issues? I'm
• 35:48
  Becky Endicott: like my therapist. I would say be you lit. Don't question, who you are, how you're wired, the gifts that you have the things you want to say. And I would also say Be patient, because you're a little ahead of your time, and the world is not quite ready for you yet. They're not they're not quite ready for your outloud personality. Your unapologetic nature? They're not quite ready for Becky at 100%. So hang in there, but continue to be you.
• 36:24
  Becky Endicott: That's a very interesting question.
• 36:28
  Unknown: I love that.
• 36:29
  Becky Endicott: I'll go into that with my therapist next week, it'd be great.
• 36:33
  Jonathan McCoy: So I remember the day that I was planning the first serious seed with we're for good in your head. I mean, we had ongoing conversations.
• 36:40
  Jonathan McCoy: But when did it did the switch flip in your head to say, Oh, this is what I want to do with my life. Because as a big move,
• 36:51
  Becky Endicott: it was a very big move for me. I'm a traditionalist, I, as much as I am fearless. I like to stay in my lane and do that, which I know. And I knew that I knew nonprofit really well. I knew I knew marketing and fundraising, but like owning my own business, being an entrepreneur that was never in the cards for me. And and because I never had a mindset that allowed me to think like that. I couldn't see it at all. And so john knows me so well, that he understands that he could not come to me and pitch that and ask me to come join him. Because I would have said no. And I want to say this was like if you're talking about the long game, we talk about the long game all the time and cultivating someone over a very long period of time. JOHN cultivated me into this job for like, three years, four years, a really long time. It took me to get on board. And I think sadly, I wish it was more inspirational. But I think it was the day I was looking at just corporate america and just feeling like I was in a box and feeling so suffocated, and feeling like, I really like what I'm doing. But I don't think I'm in the place where I'm doing the most good. And I don't want to be the biggest fish in this little pond, I want to be the littlest fish in a big pond. And I want to figure out how I can do the most good not just in my community, but like many communities, and and that was the day I we went to our little tiny sandwich shop that we always frequented and talk business and, and I was like, okay, and again, I had a very good man behind me, encouraging me and Kyle was saying, you've got to do this. And if we have to take a hit as a family, we're going to take a hit as a family, but you're going to chase your dreams and our daughters are going to watch you chase their dreams and they're so young impressionable. And this will be a moment that we will tell them that we took a massive leap of faith and we chase things that mattered. And I was like, Okay, let's do it.
• 39:01
  Jonathan McCoy: So awesome. I'm so glad you said yes. Thanks for asking your period of time to ask for the multi year gift.
• 39:07
  Becky Endicott: That's the only way to get through to Becky apparently.
• 39:10
  Jonathan McCoy: Okay, a few rapid fire questions for you.
• 39:12
  Jonathan McCoy: Okay, ready? worship you ever had
• 39:15
  Becky Endicott: working at a tanning salon? Yeah, I was 15 or 16. Or I was a lifeguard at the Oklahoma City waterpark. And when I had to work in the kiddie pool, I don't want to tell you the things that go on at kiddie pools and water parks. So I'll let you use your imagination
• 39:32
  Jonathan McCoy: you still deeply connected to
• 39:37
  Becky Endicott: one of my friends who was a lifeguard actually became a physician in our healthcare institution at a small rural hospital is about
• 39:47
  Jonathan McCoy: Okay, Becky's most joyful season was when she was at the Science Museum.
• 39:51
  Unknown: Oh yes
• 39:52
  Jonathan McCoy: favorite exhibit.
• 39:54
  Becky Endicott: Oh, that's that's a piece of cake Titanic the artifact exhibit you're gonna go gross ology I did like gross ology the science of why our body does the gross things that it does. That was fun. But who doesn't love the Titanic story and to compound the fact that this is just a little fun aside. We had a gala there which of course I mean, we all understand galas. And we had people dress up either in you know formal attire or in the period attire. In James Cameron, the director of Titanic had recently married Susie Amos, who is the granddaughter in Titanic and that movie. Of course, she knows all this from Oklahoma City. And so here I am. I'm 23.
• 40:37
  Becky Endicott: I'm doing like the little dinky PR talking TV stations, and in walks James Cameron and Susie Amos and 22 members of her family and James Cameron has gone into the Titanic wardrobe vault. And he has outfitted all 22 members of her family with costumes from the film. And the thing that I love the most is Susie's mother was probably five foot nothing wave nothing. And the outfit she picked was a little steerage boy. Would you love this woman? Because I did and I spent more time with her than anybody else.
• 41:15
  Unknown: You everyone can hear me wheezing because Becky is so on brand. This is rapid questions.
• 41:20
  Jonathan McCoy: Rapid.
• 41:22
  Unknown: Amos, three children's hours
• 41:24
  Becky Endicott: later. Thank you so much to
• 41:28
  Jonathan McCoy: your dream interview guest,
• 41:30
  Unknown: Warren Buffett and why?
• 41:34
  Jonathan McCoy: I mean, we call Warren Buffett Becky's boyfriend. He is
• 41:36
  Becky Endicott: my philanthropic boyfriend, he's 90, I adore him.
• 41:41
  Becky Endicott: It would be him or Brandon Stanton. I really like Brandon Stanton. He's the creator of humans of New York. And he has changed everything about the way I look at storytelling and humanity and compassion in philanthropy. So that would be on a side. But Mr. Buffett, to me is the ultimate economist.
• 42:03
  Becky Endicott: He's the economist that meets philanthropist. And for if you've ever listened to him talk about the scale of how to build business and how to build philanthropy. I mean, this concept of Giving Pledge, I want to get into his brain and understand where that came from, because he was one of the first people that actually came out and, you know, thought stick around really encouraged people to give back in a massive way.
• 42:28
  Jonathan McCoy: And I think it's interesting, because when we look at all that data, it's like those now billionaires who have stepped up really are offsetting, you know, the dip in Cluj so it really is like serendipitous how it happened.
• 42:39
  Jonathan McCoy: Okay, I want to hear your dream for we're forgetting. And we're closing it. And but I gotta land this plan. What is your dream for this impact uprising?
• 42:49
  Becky Endicott: I want us all to just kind of look around and find out and look or look within and see what are the gifts I have within me? And how can I activate them for good. And I think that we are a company, we've really tried to empower nonprofit professionals, people working to do social good, whether that's through entrepreneurship. But I also think that there is a cadre of people who, who maybe don't work in the nonprofit space, or maybe they don't even work, maybe they're a stay at home mom, or maybe it's a retiree. And I just think that no matter who you are, you have something to give someone. And if we can tap into that, and find a way to match it with your passion. I think it's going to fulfill your life in a way that you never could have imagined. And I think you will bless others and be blessed in return. And to me, that is the impact uprising, we are going to, we want to change the landscape of philanthropy of the way we show up. But we also want to change the way that we all treat each other and see each other. And I know that seems strange to a lot of people, because I've heard that a couple times, is you know, we have so much of kindness and empathy threaded in our business. And it's with such intentionality, because I think that that could be the great catalyst of change that we're missing. And so I just want to replicate that as much as I can. And if I have to show up and hug a million people, if I have to write 1000, thank you notes, whatever I have to do, I will totally show up.
• 44:29
  Becky Endicott: And I think we're building a little army of people who want to do the same things. And it's just really inspiring.
• 44:34
  Jonathan McCoy: Well, when Becky introduces to people, I think one of the greatest gifts we've gotten to have in this is getting to meet a lot of new people and having this really amazing community. And so getting to be that connector to people have ideas and passions and interests. And Becky's the ultimate connector in this regard. I just think it speaks to, you know, that is a gift.
• 44:53
  Jonathan McCoy: And if you have that gift to want to connect people like activate on it, because it's amazing what can happen and just the power of putting two people together that have this random commonality and amazing things are gonna happen. So Becky does that really well, but I'm sure there's a lot of you listening that could do that too. So don't sit on the sidelines with that one. Okay, Famous Last question.
• 45:18
  Unknown: What's your side of this question?
• 45:20
  Jonathan McCoy: What's your one good thing?
• 45:21
  Becky Endicott: I don't know if people know that john. And I like fear this question. We we fear that ask us this question.
• 45:29
  Becky Endicott: It is a lot of pressure. I think it would change every single day but this I don't know why. just popped in my head, but I'm gonna go with it. Look around you look, find it, find a janitor, find a housekeeper, find a food service worker, find a homeless person, learn their name, have an interaction with them. This is a very interesting social experiment I think you can do.
• 45:55
  Becky Endicott: If you can train yourself to see people that no one else sees. I think you're gonna be somebody that sees some things in this world that no one else can see.
• 46:03
  Becky Endicott: And if you can plug into that, and in a way that channels your creativity, your gifts, your empathy, that's bringing more people to the table. And to me, I mean, I hate I hate to call it an army, but we're building more people for an army of kindness.
• 46:18
  Becky Endicott: And so don't forget about the little guy. Please see the little guy my one good thing is Do what you can in the space in the world that you are right now. Find a little guy, befriend them, care about them, ask questions about them. I just think when we feel seen, we show up to be the best versions of ourselves.
• 46:41
  Jonathan McCoy: I see. eight year old Becky walking into the lunchroom and seeing the little guy sitting in this table and you pulling up a chair.
• 46:47
  Becky Endicott: That's probably what I should say to eight year old Becky is go over there. It's okay. You can sit with him and it's going to be okay. It's not going to change any social dynamic for you. It's actually going to grow your heart a little bit more.
• 46:59
  Jonathan McCoy: So this has been amazing how this has grown everybody's hearts and just understanding of what makes Becky for said she is
• 47:07
  Becky Endicott: oh my gosh, I'm so glad it's over. You're saying thank you sweet Julie unicorn.
• 47:15
  Jonathan McCoy: We love you love you.
• 47:18
  Julie Confer: Thanks for listening to our coffee talk with the true heartbeat of our company, Becky Endicott you probably hear it in our voices.
• 47:22
  Julie Confer: But we love connecting you with the most innovative people to help you achieve more for your mission than ever before. We'd love for you to join our good community. It's free. And you can think of it as the after party to each podcast episode.
• 47:32
  Julie Confer: It's our own social network and you can sign up today at we're for good.com backslash Hello.
• 47:39
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• 47:47
  Julie Confer: Thanks friends. I'm our producer Julie Confer and our theme song is sunray by Remy boys boom.
• 47:50
  Julie Confer: Thanks for being here, everyone.