Latest / Making Miracles Happen Masterclass / Ep 13: Narcissistic Abuse: When You Don't Know Who You Are Anymore | Andro Auro Alamar

Transcript

Ep 13: Narcissistic Abuse: When You Don't Know Who You Are Anymore | Andro Auro Alamar · Making Miracles Happen Masterclass

• 0:12
  SPEAKER_02: All right, so we're having another episode here, and I have on a new guest, and of course, because I know him so well, I have to start somewhere.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_02: I'm hoping to get an answer to a question I don't already know, and it will also help my audience get to know him.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm just gonna start with what's your favorite holiday?
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: My favorite holiday is October.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_02: Why?
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_02: October is not a holiday, though.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, ooh, Lord have mercy.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, Halloween, Jesus, Lord.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_02: And why is Halloween your favorite holiday?
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um because it's my excuse to dress up and be something else.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: And not even just an excuse for that?
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: I always need an excuse for that.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: Group.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um but I love Halloween not just because of the dress up, because of the creepiness, because of the thinning of the veil, because of the connecting with the spirits, because of the magic of the night, um the speaking to the connecting with the ancestors, the full moon.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: I love all of that.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: And Halloween doesn't just give me an excuse, but it gives me like I guess a period to really indulge in that for a whole month long.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_02: So during Halloween, we need to come back on Making Miracles Happen and tell some interesting ghost stories, like real life ghost stories.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_02: I think that might be fun.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: That'd be a good little summit summit to do where we can have people who had really scary stories come on and tell their stories.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: That would be awesome.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_02: You could do it.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_02: You still have time, you still have two months.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_02: That's true.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_02: I could do that.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_02: All right, all right.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_02: So let's dive in.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_02: Let's dive into who you are here just for a little bit.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_02: So I guess the first question I have for you that I think my audience might be interested in is like, what got you into healing work, psychic and healing work?
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: Lord, that's a story.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, okay, so I guess what got me into healing and psychic work was growing up in an abusive household.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, my mother is a narcissist with foot personality disorder and is highly addicted to drugs.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: So growing up, my life was riddled with abuse of practically every kind.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: I can't I can't I guess I can't say practically because actively and actually every kind.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um and I guess through going through that all of my life, from literally coming out of the womb all the way up until about 19, um I was called to do healing.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: But I guess I can't say called because I always had you there kind of trying to to reach out to me to show me that there was more, that there was better, that there was love, that there was kindness, that there was a way to break free from what I was doing with enduring with my mother.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um but I could never see it.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: So again, I think going through all of that through as many years as I went through it, I guess was the catalyst to really heal.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: And 19 was a really, or I guess I would say 19 is the the stage, the the cutoff, the climax, the crescendo of events that led to me now being not only a healer, but healing through all these years.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_02: So you just be throwing stuff out there with no context.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: So we're gonna rewind a little bit, right?
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: You literally just win because I've always had you, and then you slid right under that, and you assume that people know that we know each other.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_02: So I just want to clarify.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_02: Um, what do you mean you've always had me there to help you?
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I mean, as my aunt, you've always been there to I guess try to save me from that, but not even try, because even from the earliest of moments when I was a baby, whenever she'd leave and leave me home, you were there to help me.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: You were there to basically raise me, to clean my diapers, to feed me, to clothe me, um, to show me that there was more beyond what she was.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: Not even just what she was, but even her as being a child who had a child.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: I think I give her pause in understanding that she had to live too.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: But I perceived, I know, I understand that you were always there showing me that there was more to to my mother than my mother, in being my mother, basically.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and in again, giving me a love that I was never given from her.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_02: Do you remember me attuning you to Reiki when you were like five?
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Hell no.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely not, but I do remember growing or getting older and and really taking on the mantle of being a healer.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_02: That's so funny.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I've been I've been putting healing in the forefront of your life since you were very I think you were more like eight, I think, when I did that.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, you were old enough to remember.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_02: I'm surprised you didn't remember, but I was always doing all kinds of stuff, so you probably don't remember half of the things.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_02: I one of the the the interesting aspects of this was there is always a there was always a part of of our connection and and our lives where I was trying to get away because I wanted to get away from your mother at all costs, just like everybody was trying to.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_02: I mean there was only one person who was trying to get closer to her while everybody else was trying to get away.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_02: And and it wasn't until later on when I was like I had two things working against me.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_02: So just to give people a little bit of that story, every time I would make money and save money, the money would disappear.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, whether it gets stolen, I needed it for something, you know, we need something for the house.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_02: And I would move out, I would be doing really well.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_02: I would move out, something would happen, I'd end up back in the house.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_02: I'd move out, something would happen, end up back in the house.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_02: And I got tired of this pattern.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_02: I couldn't get rid of this pattern.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_02: No matter how much healing I did, no matter what I did, I couldn't get out of this house.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_02: And the the crazy thing about it, when I think back on it, I'm like, you and I wouldn't have been so close if I had have left for a long period of time, but your mom was too much for me.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_02: Like she was too much.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_02: And the first thing that happened was Granny said, my mother, his grandmother, said she actively was manifesting that I would move back into the house.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_02: And she knew I wouldn't do that willingly.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_02: So there was she was trying to put like this curse on me.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_02: You know, so like that's messed up.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_02: That's so messed up.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_02: But the the really interesting part is it was the last time I had moved in.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, I can't, I can't keep doing this.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_02: Like, my guides, you guys need to tell me what's happening because I don't want to do this anymore.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_02: I need to get out and stay out.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_02: And they said, No, you have a contractual agreement with these two kids, which was you and your brother, that you will stay there until one is 18, the other one is 19.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_02: They both have to be 18 before you can leave.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, What?
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_02: Really?
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_02: Why?
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_02: You know what, what?
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember it was like understanding.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_02: I said, Can I change the contract?
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_02: And they said, No, it's active.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_02: You cannot change it.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_02: And from that point forward, something shifted so deeply in me because when your mother would start going on one and she would start doing whatever she was doing, I would just text everybody in the house and be like, Do you guys want to go to movies?
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_02: Do you guys want to go to the lake?
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_02: Do you guys want to get out of the house?
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_02: We ended up having so much fun.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_02: It was like the best time in my life for a while because especially when you guys weren't at school, I would just get you, we would just literally just like sneak out the house on a regular basis and just do stuff.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_02: Like I remember taking you guys down to to Fresno and we went to the water park with Shannon and her family.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_02: We were like literally out having the time of our lives.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_02: And I don't know if you necessarily felt it that way because you were still feeling the trauma of the experience of having to go back home and deal with this person.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_02: But it was, you know, to me, it was actually really awesome to think back on that.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, that's why I'm so close to you in the first place.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_02: Well, in the second place, because I've been close to you since you were in your mother's womb.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_02: But just having that experience.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_02: So we've had a contractual agreement your whole entire life.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, I'm deeply, deeply grateful for it because without it, I wouldn't have survived.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I wouldn't have survived being 19.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: I wouldn't have survived up until the point of now.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and and and to that point, I had so many times contemplated and and and f tried to follow through before something always interrupted me with many attempts.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so yeah, thank you.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_02: You're welcome.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_02: The one story that's really interesting is the one I just recently, we were recently talking about, and and we got to see each other's side of the story.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_02: And it was another aspect of I get why my guides were like, no, this is your contractual agreement.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_02: Like, you know, deal with it.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_02: Like, grow up and deal with it.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_02: You know, they were so nice about it, but that's basically what they were saying.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_02: And it was your story of when your mom found out you were gay.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_02: So, do you want to tell your side of that story?
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that story is still a doozy to me because it's just the divine intervention of it all, and the again, you coming in to save me of it all is just wild.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: So, y'all buckle up.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: Here comes the story.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so it started off with um, I had this journal.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: I was a very big writer.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: And in this journal, I didn't just write, I had pictures of all my crushes and things I wanted to do and be and have, and all the lovers I wanted to have, and I had a really big crush on Joe Jonas and all the things.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: And this night I was tired of my brother um taking my journal, taking pages out of it, and using it to um basically blackmail me.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: So I had this big resolve where I took the journal out, I ripped all the pages out, and I started this big bonfire in the background or in the backyard before my mother came home, or before she would come home and beat the ever living shit of me.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I get finished and I think everything is gone.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's all gone.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: I think there's nothing left, it's all been burned.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: So I go in my room when I go to sleep, lock the door, and then I wake up to knocking on my door.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still asleep, so I don't know what the hell is going on.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: I think everything is cool, you know?
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna get my gut wrenched right now.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna get my heart fall right into my ass right now.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: But I open the door and it's my mother.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: And she's holding up pages of gay websites in her hand, and she's asking me, What is this?
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: And she's asking me, Are you gay?
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and her husband is in the background.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: I think he was the one who actually found them and gave them to her.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: And then they they kind of went to this whole rigor moral of this and that.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: But I just remember being so astronomically afraid and not knowing what I could do to survive this.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I I don't even know how I got out of it because it my mom is not the person who, she's not the type of person who lets anything go.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: So in that moment, I told her, I'm tired, I don't know what that is, I'm gonna go to sleep.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: And she actually let me.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I close the door and literally slide down the damn wall.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I sit there against the wall, wondering, like, what the hell am I gonna do?
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: How am I gonna live through this?
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: How am I gonna survive waking up excuse me in the morning to her waiting for me?
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: I knew it was coming.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I knew it would be brutal.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I knew I was probably gonna get physically harmed.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I just didn't know what to do.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: So I had resolved at first um to kill myself.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I wake up in the morning and she's downstairs.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: She's sitting by the kitchen bar counter situation thing, and she's on the phone telling all of her friends what happened, what she found.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: Her husband is gone at that point, and she's just standing there, like telling all of her friends about what she found the next morning.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: And then she goes into this barrage of questions of what I am and and why and all these things.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: And in my mind, I'm thinking, what can I do to get away from this?
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: I have to go to school.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's kind of my only saving grace.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and we have this kind of brief conversation where nothing really happened.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't get harmed, I didn't get beaten, I didn't get abused at that moment, which was such a shock to me because that's who she is.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but yeah, at that point, it was time for me to go to school.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: I had answered her questions, I told her I was bisexual, all the things.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I left.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: So then school ends.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: I go through school, I'm I'm seething, I don't know what the hell is gonna happen.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: At first, I had decided uh that I was just gonna stay out all night.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't gonna go back home.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: I was gonna go home at nighttime and just not um see her.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: And then I thought that's not sustainable.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's not gonna happen, it's just gonna get me harmed in the long run.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: So it's time to end it.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: Now, by my house at that time, there was a railroad track, and there was this large fence that was pretty easy for me to hop and climb at that point.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: I had done it a million times.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: So all I had to do was wait for the train to come and then I could stand in front of it or lay over the tracks.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: It would be quick, easy, or so I thought, and I'd be done.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I sit by this giant electrical box.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: If you live in America, you know what it is.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's like everywhere.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: This big green box that holds all the electrical wiring for all the all the homes in the vicinity.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: So finally, as I'm sitting there, the train is coming.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: I hear the loud train horn, and I get up to make my way over to um the fence.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: Now I know the train at this point.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: I know the train because it's what you hear like eight times a day.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: I know I know the timing of it, I know what's gonna happen, I know how it's how it's gonna come, I know how I have the time to get over the fence and get onto the tracks.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: So I stand up and I'm making my way over to the tracks, and then my mom pulls up.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: Her and her husband are together.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: They pull up and they call me to the car.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I could have just run to jump over the fence and and lay on the train tracks and whatever, but I was more afraid of her and her husband catching me than I was afraid of dying in that moment.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: So I go to the car, I sit in the car, and she proceeds to go on this tire about how much she loves me and how much she accepts me and yada yada yada.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: And for whatever reason, it quelled my immense desire to commit suicide in that moment, and we go home.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: Everything after that for me is a complete blur, but yeah, that's how that that situation ended in that moment.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_02: So that's that's a very interesting aspect of the story because that's what I recently found out about was like your experience of that, because my experience of that was very different.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_02: Your mother knocked on my door, she said, I found this, and she showed me a piece of paper.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think I ever looked at it.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what the hell is this?
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_02: And she said, I found out he's gay.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, and like it was just like so I'm okay you're bothering me for this.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, I always thought your brother was the only gay one, so I didn't, you know, I was I I don't know.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, oh, this is news, right?
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_02: And then she said, Well, what do I do?
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_02: What do I do?
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_02: And why are you at like I had such an attitude?
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I didn't even know if she was gonna start going into her crazy tirades either.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't even care.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_02: I was just like, you're you're annoying me right now because this is a stupid conversation.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, What?
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, like I'm trying to get it like out of her.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what?
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_02: What do you want?
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I you know what I mean?
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_02: Like that was my attitude because I couldn't figure out why you're knocking on my door, telling me this.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I just I was literally trying to figure this out.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_02: And when she goes, What do I do?
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, What do you mean?
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_02: What do you do?
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_02: And that's where I got confused, is because there's nothing to be done.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_02: This is not even a conversation.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_02: Like, this is there's there's nothing that needs to be said, there's no conversation here.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_02: It whoever he's attracted to, like for me, it's about love.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_02: Like you always preach love.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_02: It does it matter who you love.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_02: No, as long as you're not hurting anybody, love should be the most important thing.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_02: I I never understood how it's okay for children to watch, you know, things on TV where there's war and guts hanging out and people blowing up and stuff.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_02: Like that's cool, good, that's cool.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_02: But love, now that's bad.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_02: We can't we can't look at that, we can't watch that, we can't see two men kiss, we can't, you know, we can't entertain the fact that two men can actually love each other or two women.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_02: And so I've I've always thought the world was a little bit ass backwards, and um, and so I didn't understand why this was a conversation.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_02: And so she was like, What do I do?
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_02: And I guess I'm happy now to know that she asked me that because I remember just looking at her and just going, He's your son.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_02: Do you love him?
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_02: And she's like, Yeah, and I was like, So just go tell him that.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_02: And she was like, Well, I don't know where he went.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, Well, where do you think he went?
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_02: And she's like, To the park, and I was like, Then go get him.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I literally remember putting my arm out like this is common sense.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_02: Go get your son and tell him you love him, and then that's the end of the story.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_02: There's nothing else that needs to be said, and she was like, Okay, I'm gonna go do it right now.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_02: And then to hear the rest of your story is is really interesting because that's when she left the house and actually went to go look for you.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_02: And she even knew she in her mind, she even knew where you would have gone.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_02: Like the only place he probably would have gone is the park.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_02: And then that's where she actually went and found you.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_02: So I I didn't know the rest of that story until recently.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_02: And then you finding out that I'm the one who sent your mother to literally go save your life is is um that's intense.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: Intense experience.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: Wild realization.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: When you said it, I was like, holy shit on a biscuit.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_02: And then for her to to tell you how much she loved you and everything that told her to do it, and thank you to your mother for actually listening.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, how important is that that she actually listened versus doing what she would normally do?
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_02: So I'll commend her for that one.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_02: Ooh, interesting, isn't it?
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_02: The things that we live through.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_02: And and what's really fascinating, especially for people who don't even understand contracts, contracts are just so important to know, understand what your contractual agreements are, whether you can get out of them or not.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_02: Thankfully, I I couldn't get out of that one.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_02: I understand our contractual agreement now.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_02: Um but as soon as your brother turned 18, right after that, we were all out of the house.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_02: Like that was it.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_02: Like the contractual, I remember the day the contractual agreement ended.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_02: We all left and we never went back.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_02: My money stabilized, life stabilized.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_02: We started healing on a whole another level as a family.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um and my life felt like it finally got on track.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_02: Like I always felt like I was fighting against something.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_02: And that was when I felt like I was no longer fighting against something because I didn't realize I was fighting against a contract, I was fighting to get away from the person that we all wanted to get away from when I was really supposed to be embracing that experience so that I can be there for you guys.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: But also kind of fighting against Granny, because that lady is a powerful mofo.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I had never really realized that until growing up and going back to see all of how she was incredibly powerful, not only in her magnetism, but in the way in which she would watch us with that spiritual being with the top hat.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: She is an incredibly powerful spiritual being without her really even knowing it.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: And that has always kind of blown me away.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but I don't think I was fighting against her.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_02: I think she was part of the contract.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_02: She was actually bringing me in so I could save your life.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: Oh.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_02: I had this this really interesting experience that I'll share with people is um I used to love the the shit out of my sister.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_02: Like I loved my sister.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_02: She was mean.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_02: And so that love kind of went away.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_02: And it was like, stay away from me.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_02: Just just I'm old enough now to understand you're never gonna change.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_02: Just stay away from me.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_02: And I would be asleep in my room and I would wake up and she would be in the bed with me when she was pregnant with you.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_02: And I'd be like, Why are you in my bed?
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_02: Get out of my bed.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_02: Like I would, I would be disturbed that she snuck in my room, and she would have her belly up against me.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember I was like, You gotta get up and get out.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_02: You got to get out.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_02: And all of a sudden I felt you kick me.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, oh, and I turned around and I started patting her stomach.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: It's like you instantly got my attention.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, Oh, your mother doesn't even exist anymore.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_02: It's only this baby here.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_02: And so I remember I was like patting your you, and then I rubbed her belly, and you took your hand and you rubbed it up against mine, and we started like patting back and forth.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I'll never forget it.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_02: It was like the weirdest stuff because we were actually communicating when we we when you were in the womb.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_02: And so I was like, Okay, you can like he wants to stay in here, so you can stay in here.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_02: Like, Morris Co.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_02: So for me, realizing That granny was doing everything that she could to sabotage me being gone and pull me back in the house was part of that contractual agreement.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_02: Because you weren't supposed to be gone.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_02: You're supposed to be here.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_02: And that's part of the blessing.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_02: But you mentioned something a minute ago about a black something with a black cat.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_02: What are you talking about?
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: Wait, what?
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_02: You mentioned something about Granny being powerful with some somebody with a black hat.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I don't know if you remember this at all, but growing up, when she would go off to work, she we would have like this man in a top hat that would be in the house.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember you telling me this after this, but I'll go back into the story.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: Every house we went into would always be there.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_00: She would be gone, and the man in the top hat would be looking around the corner or watching us from the kitchen, or we'd turn the corner and be there, or it'd be at the the the end of the hallway.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: But it was always there only when she was gone.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_00: And we never truly understood what it was until I think about a specific house we lived in.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: And finally, I think it took you to call her and and and ask her, is this you?
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: Are you the one who's sending this being to watch us?
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: And or something like that around the lines of you telling her that we're okay.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: And then the moment you called her and told her we were okay, it went away.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: And it led me back to remembering in every house we'd ever lived in together, that same being would show up.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: It would show up again in all types of weird crevices and orifices and places a normal person wouldn't stand or watch people.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_02: I don't remember this at all.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_02: I I remember the guy in the top top hat because he would stand at my door.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_02: He went he was not allowed to come in, but he would stand at my door and just stare at me, and I'd be like, What do you like?
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_02: What do you want?
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_02: But I don't remember the rest of that.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_02: That's very interesting.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: It might have been Angela who called, actually, then.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because I remember specifically one of you calling her while she was at work and telling her, okay, because we were all in the living room at that point watching this man watch us.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: And it's weird because it's scary as hell when you think about it.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like this, it he's taller than any human being alive, has a top hat on, black, jet black, but incredibly formed like a man.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like you can see this being.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I remember I think it might have been Angela actually.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, where she called and Torah, we were okay, and he was just gone.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: And then again, I put put the pieces together that it's her.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, that lady is a very powerful person.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_02: That's interesting.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_01: That's that's a Halloween story for you guys, right there.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_01: That's really interesting.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, that's crazy.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, thank you for sharing those stories.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_02: Those are those are deep.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_02: Those are deep stories, but it also tells people what we can overcome.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_02: And it it's definitely a lesson in contractual agreements and how important it is to really find out what agreements we have.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's why Akashic readers are so important.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not an Akashic reader, but I love people who go into the Akashic Records and can give you information.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_02: As a psychic, I can get that information.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_02: As um somebody who can talk to guides, I can get that information.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_02: And sometimes it's just information that presents itself if you ask.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_02: And so I think everybody should be looking at what their contractual agreements are.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_02: So when you you decided to finally be a healer, you've been helping people transform their lives.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_02: What finally because you were resistant for to it for a while.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, let's just be honest.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want to be helping people, I don't want to do this.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_02: And then all of a sudden one day you were like, I think this is this is what I'm gonna do.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what was that transformation?
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_00: I think the transformation for me was finally realizing that that, yeah, this is it.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_00: You're doing it, you're good at it, people adore you at it while doing it, and you're actively helping people.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_00: What was the my battle was that everyone in the family's doing it, and I want to be me.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_00: I want to be different, I want to be separate, I want my own thing.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to be another psychic or another healer in the family.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_00: I want to do something that's different, that I that's mine.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_00: So I felt almost like I was kind of meshing to what everybody else wanted, and that's why I fought it so hard, and not even just what everybody else wanted, what everybody else was.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I kind of felt like I was not being allowed my individuality.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um so I fought it and I fought and fought and I fought and I fought until finally I'm like, okay, this is this is a part of my personality, this is a part of me, this is what I'm supposed to be doing right now here.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I'm damn good at it.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_00: And then finally I decided, okay, get your head out of your ass, because it's all the way up there, all the way to the damn neck and the shoulders.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um and it's time to start helping people the way you know you can, and also help people out of what you survived.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_00: So being that I survived abuse uh from a narcissist who's heavily addicted to drugs and all those things, I found that I could help people through that.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: Now, obviously, I didn't do it alone.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you helped a lot with or completely.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_00: I can't even say a lot, completely in me understanding what my niche was and helping those who have survived what I survived, which is again the narcissist, um, the abuse or abuse, family trauma, and PTSD.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, I guess that was when I decided uh that it was time and it was it was very, very late.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_00: I think it was probably about the time before I went to Mexico, and I think that's why Mexico was so prosperous for me, is because I had finally decided like to get my head out of my ass and make the choice to take this on full time, to be a healer, to help people, to help people transform and change.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and that's wild because it it almost feels like it was yesterday that I had finally made the decision to do it.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_00: It feels like it.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_00: I hope that's not too vague.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_02: That's well, it's an interesting story because this is the first time I'm hearing it.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_02: You're like, everybody in the family was doing it.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, who was doing it?
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_02: I'm the only healer in the family, and I'm the only one who is was a professional psychic in the family.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_02: So who was everybody?
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_00: Angela's act also a psychic too, and she works on Keen.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_00: And at one point, she was good enough to be given free trips to other states and countries.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, a couple of times she's been flown out to other states and I think another country to visit clients and stay with them.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um at a point, I thought because she was doing it and you were doing it, I had to be something different.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to be something different.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to break free from the, I guess, what I perceived as a family mold of being a healer or a psychic.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_02: And I never perceived it that way.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_02: Because she she straight up told me I mean, this was 25, I'm not gonna hold it against her now, but like 25 years ago, something like that.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, she was like, You're not a real psychic, you're not a real healer, all you do is rip people off.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_02: And then she was asking me, can she get readings and can I read her boyfriends?
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_02: And how how can I do what you do and make money?
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_02: So I never saw her as that.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_02: I saw her as, you know, she just wanted to make money, and so she would get on these calls, and I was like, I'm I can't help you do that because I don't I don't believe that you're doing this to help people or you know, whatever the thing is.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_02: So I was like, I'm I'm out of it.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_02: Um especially when you told me I'm I'm a fake and I'm just frauding people because of whatever, and then wants to use me for my gifts.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_02: So I never I never perceived it that way.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_02: So just to hear how you were looking at it is really interesting to me.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and you also know what else is interesting?
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_00: How she loves to do that, she loves to deny a mofo of what they're doing, then go go back and do it.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_00: She denied your psychicness, then she she she denied me being a fruitcake and ended up being a lesbian.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_00: I don't understand.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_00: She had two gay lovers, and and that whole time made me feel horrible for being gay, talking about I was going to hell, gay people are going to hell, it's wrong, yada, yada, yada, yada, and then calls me on the phone while I'm in Los Angeles in collage, talking about she has a lesbian lover.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_02: That's interesting.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you know, she okay, so my the boyfriend that I had at the at the time when you were like two years old, we wanted to adopt you because she wasn't in the picture, anyways.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_02: So we we had been discussing the possibility of adopting you.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_02: And I'll never forget what he told me.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_02: He said, I I thought you were a lesbian.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, What?
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_02: Like, not that there's anything wrong with that.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_02: I've been attracted to women, let me tell you, okay.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_02: But I I'm attracted to when I see a long-term relationship, I'm like, it's it's men, right?
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_02: And women are gorgeous, they're beautiful, love them.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_02: It's like looking at art, but that's just not where my energy is flowing.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm sitting here and I'm going, why did you think that?
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_01: And he said, Because your sister, your sister told me you were a lesbian.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, What?
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_02: And he was like, Yeah, he was like, I've been attracted to you for a while, but I wasn't gonna say anything because I thought you you were into women.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_02: So it's yeah, so it's really interesting because that that I when I met him, I I knew how our relationship was gonna go, and I knew I was supposed to have a child with him.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm thinking if she had gotten the way of the it not that she could have because she's not as powerful as the universe, the universe had its own plans, but just sitting to see how she was trying to put that that monkey wrench in my plans is just really interesting to me.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_02: Just because, yeah, she's a lesbian, she likes girls, she likes women.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that lady went through, she had a really fucked up life, so I'll give her that.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_00: But the way in which she tried to destroy everyone around her is something that should definitely be studied.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um studied.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_00: I cannot.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's wild, like the the destruction that she rocked over the lives of everybody she touched, is something that should be looked into because it's it's crazy.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_02: The level of but it's fascinating, isn't it?
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_02: Because you if you think about it, if you look at any really powerful healers, and the reason I knew you were a powerful healer is not because you you took my classes, not because you studied under me, it's not because um you're related to me.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_02: It's literally because I would be on a call with a client and they were like, Do you know Andrew?
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, Oro, like everybody calls you Andrew.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_02: It's the it's the funniest thing because I know exactly who they're talking about the moment they say it.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, Oh yeah, I know him.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_02: And then I'll be like, he's such an amazing healer, he's he's so good.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna let him stand on his own.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm just gonna be like, that's amazing that you had that experience, and we're just gonna roll right over and you know, change the conversation because I I I did not divulge, I didn't know if you divulged we were related, but I I know that you want to create your own way, and so I was like, I don't want to stand the way of that.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_02: Like, oh yeah, that's my nephew.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_02: Everybody should go to him.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, he can create, he can stand on his own two two feet.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_02: What do they call it?
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_02: Like Nepo baby.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_02: I like he don't need to be one of those.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_02: So he can stand on his own two feet.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_02: But it was really interesting to hear client after client after client mention you for no apparent reason, like out of the blue, no reason at all.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_02: Just do you know him?
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_02: Like I don't know what made them bring it up, but I was it was it was nonstop every day.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_02: I was getting this feedback, and I was just like, okay, we need to start uh doing something with this, you know, being, you know, interviewing him, having him on my live events, you know, having you come on and do some healings for some of my group healing events because of what people, not because we're related, has nothing to do with it, literally just because I would get nonstop compliments, you know, hearing nonstop compliments about you.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, you still on your own two feet at that point.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and to be honest, you know what though, which is really funny, is before you even let me go on, I had asked you a couple of times to like advertise me or ask me to be on your events, and you would flat out say no.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I was so fucking offended.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_00: Every time you said no.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_00: And now I realize why you kept saying no.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_00: And it's because I don't think even I was ready for not even that level of just exposure, but um to help people, I don't think I was ready yet.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_00: I think I was still in my own shit, in my own trauma, and my own anger, and my own rage.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I was looking to be a Nepple baby.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_00: I was looking to ride on your coattails, and you knew that it was it wasn't time.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_02: I knew it was in time when you interviewed me and you were you were sweating because you were so nervous.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, Why are you nervous?
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_02: She's like, Because I'm interviewing a celebrity psychic, and I'm like, I'm your aunt, you've known me your whole life.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_02: What are you talking about?
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_01: And you were like, I'm just and I was like, What is happening right now?
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_03: Broad.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_01: I knew then you weren't ready because I was like, you can't interview your own aunt, like, you know, well, let's give you some time to to get back past that and get beyond that, and then we'll be good.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_02: Took a while, but I got there, you know.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_02: But you had already interviewed like that NFL player.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, I like who am I?
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just I'm just your aunt.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what the hell?
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_01: You know, that that was just funny to me.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_00: Well, to be honest, you had a lot more notoriety than him.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_00: He still is not somebody that is known.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_00: He's kind of niche.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_00: You'd have to look in yoga and not even in yoga.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_00: He's not even at that time, he wasn't even the biggest name in yoga.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_00: He was just uh somebody who came from football, so he wasn't even close to where you've been or what you've done.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um and I was nervous as hell talking to him too.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_00: Nervous as hell.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you gotta be ready.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_02: You gotta be ready.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_02: So tell people if they do want to get healing from you, who it is that you help.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_02: You've kind of already talked about it a little bit, but I'd like it to be really plain and clear who you're helping right now, who the people who are coming to you.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_00: So the people that are coming to me are, I was gonna say they're people who are lost, who want to get found.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um people who are coming to me are people who've gone through narcissistic abuse.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_00: But what's crazy though, sidebar, what's crazy is I've gotten this influx of clients who don't know that they've gone through narcissistic abuse until they talk to me.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_00: They'll go through all of the signs, all of the trauma, all of the fear, all of who they had to unbecome, and not diagnosing them because I'm no therapist, I'm no clinician.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then I'll tell them to go do research and I'll give them Dr.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_00: Romani to go and really get into it the same way I did, and that because of your guidance.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, I've been getting an influx of people who don't know that their parents were narcissists until we talk and they do their own research.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_02: And there's there's also a lot of um mental health things that mimic narcissism, and it's not like borderline personality disorder and a lot of other things, but they're there, you all have to you have to heal from it all the same way.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, mainly my people are those who have gone through narcissistic abuse, family trauma, and PTSD from that.
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, the people who don't know who they are.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, what I've also been working with through a lot of people is I I well, obviously, but I think when you've gone through narcissistic abuse, it is this almost divine, and divine is kind of a good word, so I can't really use divine, but it's the only word I can use for as verbiage for this situation, but it's divine mischaracterization of who you are, what you have to become, and who you have to make yourself to be.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_00: And every single person that I've worked with has the same saying that I have to find my purpose and I have to find who I have to be, I have to find all these things.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, no, no, none of that is what you're supposed to be doing.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_00: You're not supposed to find your purpose, you're not supposed to find who you're meant to be, you're supposed to create and build it.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what narcissism and the abuse from narcissist, narcissistic personality disorder, PTSD, and family trauma does to you is it it puts you in this understanding if you have to live for somebody else, you cannot, you do not have the time or space to learn who you are or build who you are.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_00: So what I do is help them understand that now it's time to begin rebuilding, to begin rebuilding, or not even rebuilding, but building who they really wish to become, who they wish to be in their their their their greatest reality, um, free of their parents, free of the abuse, um, and heal the feelings and emotions behind who they once were so that they can begin, therefore, to build who they really truly wish to be.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I do.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_02: Really discovering what your purpose is and what it's been all along, it's it's the thing that you overcome.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_02: It's the thing that you overcome.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_02: Because when you become so great at overcoming something yourself, and you you're you're like, I'm on the other side of the fence.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_02: That's a thing of the past, it's like an old memory.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, other people will come to you that have the same problems, and you're like, oh yeah, I can help you with this, no problem.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_02: For us, it just seems like it's oh, this is an easy thing to heal because you're on the other side of it, but they're they're still looking at it from the point of, like you said, PTSD, fear, they're still in it and whatnot.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_00: That happened to me recently with a new client.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_00: I know without a shadow of a doubt that I can help them.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_00: And she was going on about how they have been through every therapist, every whatever you could possibly imagine.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_00: I knew I could help them.
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_00: I knew exactly where to go, how to do it, and what to do to get them out of the stuckness that they're in.
• 40:07
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm kind of grateful just a little bit that I've survived what I've survived and gone through it and made it out so that I can help people who are stuck, like I was.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_02: And that's why you'll find these healers.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_02: Makes perfect sense.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_02: These healers are are the wounded healers because if you understand what somebody else is going through, you can understand how to get them to the other side where you are.
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_02: Like I I don't know if you feel the same way, but when I work with clients who are really in a painful place, they're in tears, they're suffering.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_02: I have a smile on my face because I know where you're gonna be in five minutes, 10 minutes, a week, two weeks.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_02: Like I know that that feeling you have right now is getting ready to transform while we're sitting here on this call.
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_02: It's gonna completely shift.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_02: We're probably gonna end up laughing because I love to laugh with my clients.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_02: When they start feeling better, they start automatically laughing.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and and so you like I hold that happiness, I hold the space of happiness because I know where they're getting ready to go, versus I don't cry with my clients anymore.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't make me sad anymore because I know that this is actually healing as we speak.
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_02: So I don't know if you feel the same way if you feel sad with your clients or if you're celebrating while they're healing.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, the sadness in in in turmoil is definitely gone.
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's more so kind of a neutrality for me.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_00: I know exactly what they're going through, what they feel, how they why they feel it, and what happened to get them there and how we're gonna get through it.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, more so for me, it's like a neutrality.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's like I have to be calm while they're breaking down and then pulling back together again.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_00: I feel magical.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_02: That's because healing is magical.
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_02: So much magic and healing.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know if I would have ever guessed, even as a psychic, that you would have been a healer, to be honest with you.
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_02: I knew that I was I kind of pushed you in that direction because I remember I got the nudge to do so, and then I had a nudge to be like, you know, I think we need to do some training.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_02: Like I just did whatever spirit guided me to do, but I would have never thought like this is what you're gonna be doing.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_02: So it's been really awesome to watch as somebody who doesn't know, like somebody who's getting to kind of to go through that journey with you and watch it unfold.
• 42:15
  SPEAKER_02: That's a lot of fun.
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks.
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm glad I could I could go through it with you as someone who is so loving and patient, because Lord, I was a problem.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and who's been willing to kind of stand with me in the not kind of, Lord have mercy, my verbiage, um, to stand with me through the journey of growing and healing myself.
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_00: Because by all for all intents and purpose, I should have been on the street with my little red bag and holy everything panhandling for quarters at this point because I was horrible.
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you so much for being not only my mentor, but my mom.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_02: You're welcome.
• 42:51
  SPEAKER_00: And saving my life so many times and for helping me help others heal.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, you're very welcome.
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_02: Very welcome.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_02: All right, so I have to ask you what is a miracle to you?
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, Jesus.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_00: What is a miracle to me is getting to realize that love exists in a world that never had it.
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um can I go on?
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_00: Miracles to me, or a miracle to me, another miracle, is being saved when you don't understand how to be.
• 43:36
  SPEAKER_00: Another miracle to me is being chosen when nobody else chooses you.
• 43:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um being a miracle is another miracle is yeah, being loved.
• 43:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 43:55
  SPEAKER_00: Being loved when you don't believe love is real.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_00: When you don't believe love is possible for you, when you can't feel it, when you don't know how to feel it, when you don't know where it can come from, if it exists, that it exists, um, and constantly being loved even though you you fight it.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_00: Those are miracles to me.
• 44:16
  SPEAKER_02: Those are very powerful miracles.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_02: So, what are your your ending words for everybody who's listening to this podcast right now?
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_00: My ending words is get healing.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_00: I know that's easier said than done sometimes.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you just don't know something is wrong or that you're going through incredible hardship.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I would say get healing anyway.
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because I was in that same place where I was in, I guess, in the throes of my own pain, in the throes of my own suffering, stuck entrenched in things I felt like I could never get out of.
• 44:53
  SPEAKER_00: Something is wrong.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_00: You know you're not completely living the life that you want to live.
• 44:57
  SPEAKER_00: You know that things don't look how you want them to look.
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_00: And or you may not even know how they look.
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_00: So go to a healer, find someone who aligns with you, whether it's me or Adrian or whoever the hell, find a healer who can help you transform your life to get you what you want.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because in the long run, you are going to be better, have more, and experience love in its fullest capacity as you allow that healing to transform you.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_00: So again, get healing, especially if you think you don't need it, that's you need it.
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_00: When you think you don't need it the most, you need it the most.
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so yeah, get healing.
• 45:38
  SPEAKER_02: And my last question for you is what is the happiest time of your life?
• 45:46
  SPEAKER_00: Now, in my thinking that I was going to die, that I would never live past 25 now, in thinking that I'm old and middle-aged, elderly, geriatric basically.
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_00: I think now is probably my happiest time because now I'm finally seeing that I'm I'm I'm worthy of love.
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm healing on a regular basis, well, not regular basis, every single day.
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm seeing love for what it truly has been this whole time where I could never see it.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I'm finally beginning to like accept that I I can be loved and that I'm worthy of love and that um love is my birthright and all those things.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, again, I would say now, and and and and not just because of all those things, but because things are unfolding for me in really powerful ways.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_00: More stability is coming, more happiness is coming, more money is coming.
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and the love of myself is the thing that I want the most is coming.
• 46:38
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, now.
• 46:47
  SPEAKER_04: Let's make miracles happen.
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_04: Let's make miracles happen.
• 46:58
  SPEAKER_04: There was a dark night in my soul calling me to look deeper.