Latest / Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home / Paul Salter - Hypnosis, Elite Performance & Fatherhood

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Paul Salter - Hypnosis, Elite Performance & Fatherhood · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, I'm Riley.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm Ryder.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: And this is my dad's show.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_01: Well hey everybody, it's Casey J.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: Cox with the Quarterback Dadcats.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to season six, and I cannot be more excited to have you join me for another year of fantastic episodes and conversations, really unscripted and raw and authentic conversations with dads.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: If you're new to this podcast, it's really it's simple.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's a podcast where we we interview dads, we learn about how they were raised, we learn about uh the life lessons that were important to them, we learn about the values that are important to them, and really we learn about how we can work hard to become a better quarterback or leader of our home.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: So let's sit back, relax, and listen to today's episode on the Quarterback Deadcast.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: But hey everybody, it's Casey J.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: Cox with the Quarterback Deadcast.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: We are getting towards the end, uh tail end of uh season six.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: And um, this next gentleman, we I'm excited to dive in on multiple topics.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: One, because we have a lot in common.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um we both love mindset, we both love golf, we both are friends of the one-noy Zachary Tyser, who made this episode possible because of his intro.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we also are fans of the Wicked Smat golf podcast with uh the one noy Michael Leonard.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um and our next this next guest is gonna be Paul Salter.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: And um we got we'll dive into all the things we have in common, but he's the host of the Scratch Golfers Mindset podcast.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: He's also been in coaching, performance coaching for the last 15 plus years, impacted many, many, many lives.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: But with all that said, that's not why we're having him on.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: We're having Paul on the day because we're gonna learn about Paul the dad and how he's working hard to become the ultimate quarterback or leader of his household.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: So further ado, Mr.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: Salter, welcome to the quarterback dad cast.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_02: It's an absolute pleasure to be here.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_02: I can't believe we just gave Zach Tyser a big shout out.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_02: Now we just did it again.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_02: That's incredible.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: Shout out to shout out to Tier Four, the Tier Four group.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: We'll get it, we'll even give his company a plug, too.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um, all right, brother.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: So we always start out each episode gratitude.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: So tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: My son's smile.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_02: It is just infectious, contagious.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_02: Can't get enough of it.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: Kind of like yours, my man.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: I don't mean to make you blush.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: You got a good smile, too, even though people can't, I can see it, but other people can't.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_02: I appreciate that.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um, that's a great answer.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think we've ever had that one on, but it you brought a smile to my face.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, what I'm grateful for is the time we're recording in just after Thanksgiving, everybody, first day of December.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: It's just the time we had with my son home from college last week, and um played golf with him a few times um and had some great, great matches, and just uh it was just fun having him around, his girlfriend around, and all the family together.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: And then he's he flew back last night, but he'll be back in like a week um for another like a month.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: So grateful for that time we had together.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: It was awesome.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_02: And by great matches, you mean he beat you, right?
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the first one, no, I took him to the woodshed, which uh usually doesn't happen.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: And then we actually had a tie on which I didn't realize it.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_01: I I uh I made like an eight-footer for par on 18, and I didn't know we were tied.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I'm actually glad I didn't know because I made a little bit more pressure on me.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um all right, man.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we always go into what I always call the huddle.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: Now bring me inside the the Psalter huddle.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like what does what does an everyday life look like inside uh in inside your crew?
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, well, no day is the same as we learn very quickly in entrepreneurship, specifically because my son and I, we uh rather my son's mom and I co-parent my son.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_02: So we each have 50-50.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_02: And I think the background context that's important for the foundation of this conversation is his mom and I met after or met and found out about him about six weeks later.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_02: Biggest blessing in my life ever.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_02: But as you can imagine, two people knowing each other for six weeks don't know each other.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_02: So it ended up being in the best interest of everybody involved for us to go our separate ways.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_02: And that has brought about more challenges than one could care to admit to and describe.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_02: So on the days I have him, the days look completely different versus the days I don't.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_02: When I'm without him, I'm hustling to get the business going where it needs to go, making time to care for myself, to make sure that when I do have him, I have the capacity, the emotional and energetic band with him to band with to be as present as possible with him.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_02: I still work on those days, but it's a lot less and gives me a lot more time to just cultivate that bond, that unbreakable bond, as I tell him.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_02: One day he'll remember me telling him that when he was very, very young.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_02: So I can continue to foster that relationship.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: So good, man.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and he what is your son's name?
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: Benson.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: Benson, that's a cool name.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: Uh and how um, and he is how old remind me?
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: He just turned one on November 18th.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: Oh no.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I remember I got a 19-year-old and a 17-year-old, and I'm I it I feel like I can still remember the one-year-old birthday party.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: It was like yesterday.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_02: That cake is so funny.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, all the cliches you've heard from other dads, man, they're true.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like years are the what is it called?
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: The days are short, years are no years are long, days are short.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, life just fly I cannot believe how fast life goes by.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_01: So um well, I love I love your attitude and mindset already, man, as facing that challenge.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, sometimes people could have, I mean, the the wrong mindset could could say, oh man, what a mistake, but like I think you've chose the positive of what a blessing, and you're trying to make the best of it, it sounds like.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: So kudos to you, Pops.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: What's the hardest part about co-parenting?
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: That's a great question.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_02: Is learning how to navigate disagreement with understanding and respect that we A both want the best for him, B, think we are doing what we know to be best for him, and still there is a significant disagreement.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_02: So putting feelings aside, putting ego aside, putting the need to be right aside, how do you show up from a place of compassion, patience, empathy, and kindness, which is not easy.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_02: And I am not perfect at by any means, but it's learning to do that, knowing that at the end of the day, it is giving my son the most happiness, not letting any of our friction bleed into him, you know, let him absorb unconsciously so he has the opportunity to flourish.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: That's solid, dude.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: You made me think of one of my favorite pieces of advice that I got when I was 23 years old, 24, maybe.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: A leader said, Casey, do you want to be right or do you want to get what you want?
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: What's more important?
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I the first answer, because I was young and naive, I said, I want both.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: He goes, You can, you got to pick one.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: And luckily I picked the right one, which is getting what I want.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_01: And um, it's hard, man.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: We because we're all flawed humans, we all have egos, but how do we keep that ego checked to let it block what's the right thing to do in life sometimes?
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean, and patience, patience, patience.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_02: And I am typically run on the impatient side of the equation, if you will.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_02: And this has humbled me in so many ways learning to be patient, learning to let go and surrender of control, particularly in communication with his mom, understanding he comes first.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_02: And the changes I might want, the control I might want to execute, it's gonna take time.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you you're you're you're you're triggering me, my man, because you also um when you one of my favorite words is surrender, because like when you surrender to life's flow, there's a great book called The Surrender Experiment by Gun and Michael Singer, which is a little, I would say out there at times, from at least my own personal opinion from like a spiritual perspective.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: But like this.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_02: It's the untethered soul.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: He wrote that too.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: But I it just spoke to me big time when I was this entrepreneurial journey that found me that I did not mean to start.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um, when I when you surrender to kind of like your values in life and surrendering to like you can't control, like, and that's something I still struggle with.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: I was trying to, I was trying to control shit at like Thanksgiving, like planning like what was gonna happen.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, bro, you let it go.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_01: It's not that big a deal.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: That was like the self-talk inside my dome.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so you got the little dude, you got Benson growing up.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: He'll be, he'll be, he'll be freaking beating you on the golf course, like Ryder beats me soon before we know it.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I always like to go back uh back in time, um, Paul, like what was life like growing up for you?
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_01: And talk about the impact that mom and dad on you, mom and dad had on you now that you're you're that now that you're dad.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so I'm the oldest of four, and which is interesting because my dad's the second oldest of eight.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_02: So big family, all of my dad's siblings lived within 30 minutes of us.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_02: So family get-togethers were absolute bangers.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_02: Big family, big party atmosphere.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but what was interesting for me, and as you can imagine being in the field I'm in, I've done a lot of this work on myself, is I was the first son, I was the first grandson, grandchild, and a lot of pressure.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_02: I was literally called the golden child.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_02: Um, that is how my parents would refer to me in some way, shape, or form.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_02: I could do no wrong.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_02: So it was ingrained in me from a young age that performance or success was how I received love, affection, acceptance, and validation.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_02: And I had a great childhood.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_02: I had what I wanted, had what I needed.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_02: In hindsight, I could understand, especially around 2000, 2008, kind of how the financial turmoil impacted my parents and how my dad worked a purely commissioned job for 30 years in the paper sales industry, kicked ass, raised a family of four kids.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_02: Don't know how he did it.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_02: He somehow found a way to work 12, 14, 15 hour days and be there at our sporting events, or the vast majority of him.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_02: So having him as a role model, I'm so grateful.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_02: I absorbed and picked up on his tenacity, his work ethic.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_02: And that's been one of my superpowers to date so far.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yet you fast forward it forward into early adulthood.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_02: I feel as if my dad is my best friend because candidly, I'm just wired to please him.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_02: Everything I'm doing, whether I'm aware of it or not, and I'm not for the longest time, is done to peace, appease him.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_02: And then I go through a divorce.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_02: And, you know, you grow up in an Irish Catholic family, divorce is a big no-no, you don't do that.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_02: That's you know, every stereotype and negative stigma comes into play there.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_02: And candidly, it fractured my relationship with my parents pretty significantly for a while.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_02: I felt like an outcast, misunderstood, isolated.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_02: And it spent sent me really down the spiritual path for the first time.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_02: It's to the middle of the jungle in Costa Rica.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_02: I'll let everybody read between the lines there to really do some deep soul searching and understanding, you know, why was I wired this way?
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_02: Why was I feeling this way?
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_02: Why did why was I so misunderstood?
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_02: But the biggest blessing out of all of it has just been this return to safety and being who I authentically am, understanding and loving my differences.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_02: And candidly, I want to be the change maker.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want the same patterns that my parents perpetuated on my siblings and I to be what my son grows up with.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_02: So I really have begun to shift into the reframe of all of these challenges I've had to endure, helping me to ensure that my son doesn't have the same disconnect, the same emotionally constipated father that's that's there, but like not emotionally available, so that he has the utmost safety, support, and sense of belonging every step of the way.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_01: That's deep, brother.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_01: How how hard was that to get to that spot where you can actually just talk about it?
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_02: Oh man.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_02: Hard is the first answer.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um funny enough, when I started my one of my original podcasts many years ago, someone gave me the best piece of feedback ever.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_02: They said, dude, content's great, but you sound like a robot.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_02: Stop trying to be perfect, just be human.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_02: We don't care if you have an um or a so in there.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_02: And that I think planted the C that it's okay to be imperfect.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_02: And again, my whole childhood was be perfect, you know, straight A's, you know, captain of the sports teams, yada, yada, yada.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_02: So for me to hear that and started started to open the door of hey, vulnerability is a superpower.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_02: And it took many failures and many mistakes for me to start flexing what I think we've talked about before, Tim Grover's term of the I don't give a fuck muscle, the id gaff, and just learning to flex that came through some really challenging situations, but it got easier.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_02: And I think the icing on the cake was when people would reach out to me and say, Hey, like, thank you.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_02: Like I'm going through something similar.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_02: Like you having the courage to share that actually helped me.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_02: And that created a rush or a high in and of itself.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_02: Me learning, like, if I share my story, I can actually help somebody else avoid the mistakes or heal or go faster in the direction they desire.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_02: And that's worth it every time.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: I I'm a big uh huge fan of vulnerability.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: It's part of the work I do when I work with, you know, teams, and it's sometimes it's it's funny how people just are afraid to say, I don't know, or they're afraid to ask for help.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_01: Uh specifically dudes.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: I hate to pick on us guys, but like I think maybe the fact is I'm not handy at all, I've had to ask for help for my whole life.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_01: So it like makes it easier.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: Or you know, I wasn't out, I wasn't the best of the best in one sport, and I was like kind of you know, that that division two mindset where you're just got out with a little bit of a chip on your shoulder and always something to prove.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_01: And that's I mean, I've been like that almost 50 years old now.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_01: So um like that what you said definitely speaks to me.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_01: If you think about like the values um that mom and dad taught you um growing up that really have impacted you as a dad, tell me what comes to mind.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_02: Having conversations with adults and being honest about your mistakes or being the first to apologize.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_02: I can't tell you how many times I had to go knock on my friends' doors and apologize to them or their parents directly for something stupid as I did as a middle school kid, elementary, probably even a high school kid.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_02: So just the ability to take ownership of my mistakes is first and foremost something that has stuck with me to this day.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_02: I've made plenty of mistakes.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not gonna run away or shy away from them.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_02: I'll admit it, I'll sit with it and I'll learn from it.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_02: So that stands out to me.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_02: I touched upon the tenacity, the work ethic.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, there were countless times, I'll date myself a little.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_02: There's a card game out there called Challenge 24.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_02: It's this simple math card game.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_02: There's four numbers on a card.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_02: You got to use all four numbers to get the number 24.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_02: And I lost a tournament after winning multiple.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_02: And my dad and mom challenged me, like, you know what you need to do.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember I was up at 6:30 every morning before elementary school started studying the cards.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_02: So just this tenacity to do everything in my control to get better or to control the outcome as much as I possibly could, I owe all to them.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_01: Hmm.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: What have you ever stopped like to give yourself grace with that mindset?
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: Or do you feel like you are you on that path of like tenacity, or do you feel like you've kind of took the foot off the gas a little bit?
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_02: So now I think maybe we touched about it when you were on my show.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_02: Like there's this sense of alignment, there's aligned action and ability to recalibrate seasons to sprint, periods to sprint versus when it's safe to pull back a little bit and finding more safety and purpose in resting or slowing down.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_02: Something I used to be mightily against for all of my twenties and maybe early in into 30, 31.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so tenacity.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I love I love the taking ownership and apologizing.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_01: We actually did an episode, I think episode nine.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_01: This is gonna be episode three hundred and thirty something, uh, on just the power of saying you're sorry.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because that requires us, I think, to put our ego at at bay.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um I think it's easy, easy to like just shut down and and close, get close up and don't do that.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_01: But the power of, hey man, I wasn't my best, my bad.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know, one of my mentors, he taught me a framework.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_02: I'll give him all credit.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_02: It's kind of like a three-step apology.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_02: It's like, hey, first and foremost, so many people skip saying, Casey, I'm sorry.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_02: They just kind of allude to it without directly saying it.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_02: So first and foremost, it's saying, I apologize or I'm sorry.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_02: Then it's number two is specifically, what did you do wrong or what are you sorry for?
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_02: I'm sorry what I said offended you.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_02: I can imagine me calling you an idiot really hurts your feelings.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_02: And what I've learned from this situation, this is part three, is X.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_02: And then you reaffirm it won't happen again.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_02: And once more, I'm sorry.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_02: And it was kind of like this three to four part package of an apology that for me, someone who is so emotionally constipated too, like gave me a bit more ease and actually starting to actually be able to articulate these apologies.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because when you do it, it's actually freeing.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: And usually when you apologize, someone's not going to be like more pissed to you.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_01: They're you're I find they're almost like caught off guard.
• 16:15
  unknown: Yeah.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's so uncommon, unfortunately.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_01: But when you apologize, it's like, hey man, I was not my best.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_01: I'm really sorry.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I know I didn't hope you can give me some grace or but give me the benefit of the doubt.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't mean to do it, but I did it.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: I can't take it back.
• 16:28
  unknown: Yeah.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I think as dads, it's you know, there's been times I've apologized to my kids, either like the way I handled something, um because you know, we I don't know if it was I can't remember who I was talking to about this, but um maybe it was you and Os and your show, but I I'll uh if I apologize, I forget it's the old man brain here and me.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_01: But it's like when you become a dad, there's not like you have to pass a test.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: You don't you don't go to the hospital and there's like you get a you know, you gotta do a uh oral exam and a written exam.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: It's like you made a kid, all right, you're a dad, go get 'em.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_01: So we're gonna make mistakes.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and so I would just encourage, and I as a host of the show, selfish everybody, I'm doing this for me.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_01: You know, learn from other dads, be able to like show vulnerability and say where I sucked or messed up, or and those that have listened to a lot of these episodes, I got stories for days and where I've I've shived on my stuff.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_01: And um, I I hope to lead by example through that.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I hope that like we talk to great guests like yourself, Paul.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_01: It's like no matter if you're a younger dad, older dad, there's opportunity for all us for all of us to be better.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: And um okay, so back.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: So we got first, we got apologize, take ownership, tenacity, um, any other core value that you think you learned that you're gonna teach Benson along the way.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_02: My mom used to always say, never burn your bridges.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_02: And whether it was breaking up with a girlfriend in middle school, or I remember right before my senior year of high school, I decided not to play football.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_02: I'd known my coach for nine years.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_02: I've been playing football for a while.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_02: What did she make me do?
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_02: I had to call the coach.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_02: I had to tell him directly.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_02: It wasn't just I walk away from it.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but it always instilled to me the importance of relationships.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_02: And even if I wasn't able to serve them or they couldn't serve me any longer, I don't just write them off and never speak to the game.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_02: Or specifically, I don't allow that relationship to end on bad terms.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that's something that has proven very fruitful.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_02: It's been so interesting.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_02: We were talking about, you know, hope who I hope becomes a mutual friend with you, like Justin Sua, is that, you know, I crossed paths with him 12 years ago.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_02: And we had a somewhat of a colleague relationship friendship going.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_02: And here we are full circle, reconnecting again to do podcasts and and talk shop, which is fantastic.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_02: So just always keeping those doors open has served me personally and professionally many years later.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's um it's it's easy not to do that.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_01: It's easy.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_01: The that that would be common just to let those things go.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I think you're not now you're not gonna be best friends to everybody, but I think if the if you've built the right foundation of vulnerability, of humility, of curiosity, of serving serving your the person, whether it's your son, your daughter, your friend, your family, whoever it may be, um, like those relationships will pick up right where they left off.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and uh it doesn't take a lot of effort sometimes, it just takes a choice to to make those small little micro changes.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_01: But when you do, man, it can be huge.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_01: It can be huge.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I think sometimes we get his dad's I don't know if it's about you, Paul, but like do you ever slow down?
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_01: Whether you journal or I mean you're obviously your son's one, he's probably not gonna remember what you tell him at one.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_01: But when he's older, um, you know, uh speaking as a dad with a 19 year old, it's interesting what your kids remember and what they don't.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_01: You know, that's been an interesting and fun journey to to go through.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um but for you, uh have you do you have this like mental journal or written journal where you'd be thinking about like this is something I'm Sure, I definitely talk him out, like where I struggled or where I had success.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_02: So a couple things, Samsa.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it's a really fun question to dive into.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_02: So, first and foremost, I've made a commitment to writing him a handwritten letter every birthday, kind of recapping the year, not only for him, for me, my challenges, wins, things that are going on.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_02: I read it to him.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_02: Again, he's one right now, but that that will become even more cherished and I imagine emotional experience for me as he gets older.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_02: And I look forward to that.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_02: Um, there are certain phrases candidly I tell him every single day when I have him.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_02: I always tell him how much I love him, but I say I tell him, you know, you're so strong, you're so confident, I believe in you, like clockwork as many times as I can, because I know inevitably, even if he doesn't recognize it in the moment, unconsciously, he's gonna hear those words over and over again when he's three, when he's five, when he's seven, nine.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_02: And just that's something I know will go a long way in helping to shape who he is to access all of his unique and innate talents and skills.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_02: So little things like that, I do my best to leave an impression.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_02: And then, like you, you know, I'm a lifelong learner.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_02: So whether it's through connecting with other dads, books, podcasts, I'm writing down things I want to teach him, learning from things that maybe I wish I had as a kid that did I didn't have with from my dad.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_02: First and foremost, like I alluded to, is that emotional availability and just always giving him a safe space.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_02: Like we joked about, you know, men typically emotionally constipated.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_02: Like it doesn't have to be that way.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_02: We can have feelings and we can use them as superpowers.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_02: And I want him to understand that power from a very young age.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_01: Tell me, where did you come up with the idea of the handwritten note on the birthday?
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's awesome.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I don't know if it's from one direct place.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_02: I heard people, you know, sharing, like, you know, when they were much older, things they wish they told their son or daughter at younger ages.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_02: And I kind of just got the idea I wanted to be proactive there.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_02: And, you know, someone once told me, I actually have multiple people, like, you know, what legacy are you leaving behind for your son?
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_02: You know, like, you know, you have this podcast, like your kids listening to this.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, they do your intro, which I think is incredible.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_02: But like, you this is such a beautiful gift to give back to them.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_02: So they could see dad's impact and evolution in in his lifetime, the gift he gave to others, and just letting him have an opportunity to kind of see what was going on in dad's world through his point of view, especially because you know, if the next 18, 17 years and we only get 50% of our time together, there's chunks of time that are gonna be missing.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_02: And I want him to feel that love no matter how far away I am.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: That's great.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I think that'll be that'd be a fun, that could be a book you could write, you know, like 18 years of um, or if you just maybe once he's after 18, you just keep it going.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I don't I don't see why it wouldn't.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: I tell you as you you made me think of well, a couple things.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_01: One, the the power of confidence and belief um is those words that you're is I think so powerful.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_01: The word people can't see, but behind me there's the word believe.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, there's a Ted Lasso theme to it, but it's also uh just a gift that I don't think people ask themselves.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like in the simply is simply it's like do you believe it?
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: You do matters.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_01: And powerful question, and when you when you ask it yourself often, and even when you find your confidence rattled, it's like you have two choices, like, oh it's kind of corny, okay.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_01: I believe that.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_01: Or I I take the mindset of no that this is legit, and because words every word I say matters if you really believe it.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, I have a really a good buddy whose son was when he was like six or seven, he was convinced he's gonna play in the NHL and go PJ tour.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_01: And if he has time, he might do MLB too.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you know, the chance of this happening, he could have easily said, yo, brother, hey, ain't gonna happen.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_01: But he just like, yeah, why wouldn't you do it?
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I just I just love like I don't think we as dads or parents let our kids dream big enough.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um like Ryder, my son, he's a NAI golfer.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_01: Good golfer, better than most, but not like crazy D1 level golf.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_01: And that that doesn't define him, but like at one point he said, you know, I might try to plan some tour, min my mini tours.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like, oh, go do it.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_01: Why not?
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, all it takes is you know one or two tournaments to get your mind to like, holy shit, I I can shoot 64.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, I just did it.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_01: You know, um, so kudos to you for for instilling that um mindset.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_01: Now, where did you learn a lot of this?
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_01: The power of these words.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_02: My own work on myself and just started to really uncover some of my own patterns.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_02: I know I alluded to the perfectionism.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_02: I for a long time attached my self-work to my results, and in this case, you know, the amount of money I made in my work and whatnot.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so I think I really had to do some deep digging into why I was wired that way.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_02: And it was really what I uncovered was a lot of operation from this like desperation, this neediness, this scarcity mindset, which I battled for a long time.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_02: And probably what was the icing on the cake to finally make this shift was I played poker professionally for a couple of years.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_02: And I felt I was at work and everybody, doing all the things, had the coach, studying, putting in the time.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_02: Still felt like I was lighting money on fire.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_02: So something had to give.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, so I hired a mindset coach.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_02: This was my first introduction to hypnosis, and the impact she had on my poker playing was absolutely incredible in a very short amount of time.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_02: But the impact she had on me as an individual was so powerful it led to me walking away from what I was doing as a sports dietitian and sustainable weight loss expert to pursue mindset and performance coaching because it just exponentially improved my life in so many ways.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_01: Hip hypnosis.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I knew I wanted to talk about this, so I'm glad I'm glad you brought it up.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_01: How can like hypnosis help a dad?
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_02: In every single way possible.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, let's let's start with what hypnosis is not, first and foremost.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you guys can't see me, but I'm not dangling a pocket watch in front of Casey or anything like that.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_02: Hypnosis is not magic, it's not mind control, it's not brainwashing.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_02: It's literally a state of mind characterized by the type of brainwave you're producing at any given moment.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_02: Every single one of you listening has been in a state of hypnosis already at least once, if not multiple times today.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_02: It's the same state of mind you're in the moment you transition from sleeping to waking, when you're caught up in a good book, podcast, TV show, or when you find that flow state on the golf course or when you're deeply immersed in a pro in a project at work.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_02: So let's be very clear on what it's not and what it is.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_02: So, really, hypnosis is an opportunity to connect with your subconscious mind.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_02: You get into that nice sweet spot of relaxation where it's between slightly relaxed, like a hot shower after a long day, and sleep.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_02: There's a sweet spot there.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_02: We're producing what are known as theta brain waves.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_02: And here we connect with your subconscious mind.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_02: We let the guard down, so to speak.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_02: We quiet that harsh inner critic that every single one of us has.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_02: And your subconscious is where your emotions, your memories, your beliefs, and your habits reside.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_02: So hypnosis literally gives you an opportunity to um what's the word I'm looking for?
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_02: Capitalize on just how malleable your brain is, how the concept of neuroplasticity to rewire your beliefs, your feeling and thinking patterns, and ultimately your behavior.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_02: So if we now bring it specifically into the dads here, I imagine a lot of your listeners are high performers.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_02: They're going and going, they're doing and doing.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_02: They too might be addicted to results.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_02: They might be overly attached to the results impacting their self-worth.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe they struggle to disconnect from their phones, from their email, from their work.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_02: They're lacking the ability to be present with their family, with their children.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_02: All of these are learned patterns of believing, thinking, and behaving.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_02: The best news is they can all be unlearned.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_02: And hypnosis creates a fast and effective way to go uncover.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_02: Casey, when did you learn, as an arbitrary example, to be attached to your email, to define yourself by the amount of money you make?
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_02: And we can go uncover when, why, and how you learned it, and then do the necessary work to unlearn it, free up the energy from all that toxic emotion that's present, and then use that energy to build better beliefs and behaviors.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_01: Powerful.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_01: I um I don't know if I've told you the story, but you just made me think of it.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um when actually when my son was a little older than your son now.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um and I don't, I don't, I think I I if I had to guess where I learned this was through an injury I had in high school.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um but I was I was the dad that was um you know get you know doing great at work.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone loved revenues bringing in, but deep down, dad was not happy because I was leaving at like six before they got up.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_01: I was getting home at 6 30, 6 45.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_01: They went to bed at 7, so I had 15 minutes with my kids.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, this is not fun.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_01: Now I had to re- I so like that's I could have I had two choices, or I could be the dad tied to outcome.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm number one seller of this company, and this is what I'm supposed to do, da da da, and tell myself a story, or I could say, no.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_01: I I don't want to be yeah, I want to have success, but I also want to be uh I don't want to be find myself, you know, in having a challenge of my wife or my kids because I don't they don't know who the hell who I am.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember I went and people who've listened to the show have heard me say this story before before, but I went remember going to my boss and asking for help and telling her, like, I'm miserable, man.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_01: This sucks.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_01: This is this is not fun.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um yeah, I'm I'm I know that you guys are love this.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure there's times where I love it, but I'm just like I'm I go home and I'm miserable because I'm not present.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_01: And um, you know, so I think I like to I mean I like to share that story of and if you've heard this before, but I apologize, but but Paul's bringing it out because I had to unlearn something.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_01: I had to unwire something.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_01: And it's funny, when I left earlier, I left instead of leaving at you know six, I left at four.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_01: Still was available all the whole way home.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_01: My career actually went to a level I didn't even know existed because I was I had very specific present thoughts, and I was present in like either being a dad, being a husband, being you know, whatever it was, being a coach or sports.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_01: But when I was on, then I was locked in and all in on work.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_01: So um yeah, I think I think it's powerful you're doing that work and or you've studied it and you are doing it because and I hope the least story for me sharing tells somebody or helps someone not be the person that just tells yourself a story, like, oh, I can't do that, Mike.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_01: Why can't you?
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_02: Well, so it's interesting.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_02: I'm really glad you shared that because as I shared in the beginning, you know, he was not planned.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_02: So about the first two to three months after he's born, I've got this at the time indescribable just like anger and agitation because I, you know, I've worked for myself for a very long time.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_02: I have full control, flexibility, and freedom over every minute of my day, and suddenly that's gone.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_02: And there was a lot of internal resistance, and just like I just, you know, the sleep schedule's obviously thrown out the wazoo for those first few months.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel like I have I've lost control.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_02: And it took some hard-headedness, me being stubborn myself, to finally realize like there was such an opportunity to surrender, as you said, to accelerate the rapid relationship development with my son.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_02: And in many ways, I think he saved me from a dangerous path.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_02: I was, you know, I've worked 70-hour weeks for a long time.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_02: The last few years I had drastically cut back.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_02: But now feeling this sense of nobility and saying, oh, well, I need to provide for my son, it was just a noble form of avoidance to keep working, working, work, working at the expense of neglecting who I said was most important, in this case, my son.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_02: And working with my own coach to diffuse that anger and make sense of the situation helped me to now operate from a place of flow and allow myself to take more aligned action so that when I have the days with my son, I might take a call, a couple calls, but the rest of the day is dad time.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_02: What are we doing?
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_02: You know, maybe we're going to the driving range, him and I.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_02: He loves going there and watching dad hit some golf balls.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe we're going on long walks or we're just building blocks all day.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_02: But yeah, he it was a night and day difference.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_02: And I shared that just to really help any younger dads listening.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_02: Like that anger, it's okay.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_02: It's normal.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_02: It's a teacher.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_02: All these feelings are just teachers if you sit back and get curious enough to learn what they want to teach you.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like if you go back and and uh if you're coaching yourself and like that, and so you're coaching yourself, but think of but think of it how you want to answer this question in a way that someone could take something out of out of action.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_01: So, what what did what did you tell yourself to get yourself unstuck that might help a dad get unstuck at home right now?
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_02: Well, so first and foremost, I asked for help.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_02: So I relied on my coach, and so I didn't bottle it up like old me would have done.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_02: And then that I just I hope further facilitates the messaging you already shared.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_02: It's a superpower in asking for help, it accelerates results.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_02: Number two is I played out this the scenarios, you know, a little fork in the road.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_02: If I continued on the same path, what does my reality look like?
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_02: I just find an excuse to pour myself into work at the expense of a relationship with my son and more strain on his mom.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_02: Or I take a big step back and I spend more time with my son.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_02: And maybe I could go as far as saying, why don't I just try it for 90 days and see what happens?
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I had the financial runway, and you know, my life doesn't suddenly change in 90 days if I bring in a little less money.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_02: Why not give it a chance?
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_02: And it was literally as simple as it sounds as seeing the two paths, listing out the pros and the cons, and really digesting is the worst case scenario actually that bad?
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_02: And when you do this, and me, I'm a big journaler.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_02: So when I continue to get it out of my heart and onto paper, it's much more malleable all of a sudden.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_02: There's some literal and metaphorical distance, and it's easier to work with, it's easier to diffuse the emotion that was once attached to it, and it just starts to become a little easier to actually take action upon.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_01: It's good, man.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_01: I hope everybody else is taking notes like I am.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um now, I had one thing I questioned, I did not ask earlier that I want to go back.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_01: So when you had this like epiphany of kind of self-realization, um, you know, focus on outcome, performance that a lot of people still struggle with every single day.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, I'm Betsy Robinson, CEO of Tier 4 Group, a women-owned and diversity-certified technology recruiting and executive search firm that connects exceptional talent with extraordinary companies in 43 states across the U.S.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_00: At Tier 4 Group, relationships are at the heart of everything we do.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_00: Whether it's with our clients, our candidates, our vendor partners, or with each other, our mission is to go beyond transactions and create long-lasting partnerships.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_00: We don't just help companies find talent, we help them find the right talent.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_00: And that starts with truly understanding our clients and candidates.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just about filling roles, it's about fostering success for the long term.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_00: This is the recipe for success that's landed us on the Inc.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_00: 5000 six consecutive years and has us outpacing our competition across the country.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm thrilled to support Casey Jaccox's podcast.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_00: Casey's philosophy aligns perfectly with ours, prioritizing relationships over transactions.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_00: His insights on building trust, empathy, and connection resonate deeply with the way we do business at Tier 4 Group.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_00: We were honored to have Casey as our keynote in our 2024 kickoff, and all of our new hires read his book, When the Relationship, Not the Deal, when they start here with us.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're looking for a partner who values relationships as much as results, visit us at tier4group.com or connect with me, Betsy Robinson, directly on LinkedIn.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_00: And while you're at it, keep tuning in to Casey's podcast.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_00: You'll walk away inspired to strengthen your own relationships, both personally and professionally.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_00: And as Casey always says, stay curious.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_02: How did how did it impact your siblings?
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_02: Like when I made that shift into like this type of work, tell me a bit more.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, like, how did how did your journey impact them?
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_01: Meaning, did they struggle with the same challenges that you had?
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_01: Or is it, or was it maybe like, did it help unlock one of them by chance?
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_01: That's just a great question.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_02: So if anyone listening or you yourself are familiar with like internal family systems, it's kind of the dynamics and the roles that we unconsciously take on in our families.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_02: And what's so interesting is, and I'll be a bit vulnerable here, like my youngest brother, or so it's me, and I've got two younger brothers and a sister.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_02: My the brother I'm closest with, David.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_02: You know, he was the best man in my wedding when I got married.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_02: And him and I were close, but I could kind of tell, and he eventually validated when we were adults, like, you know, he always kind of felt like he was living under my shadow.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_02: So like he is a hell of an athlete.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_02: Like he played D2 lacrosse, we're half Latvian.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_02: So he played in like the world Latvian lacrosse team.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_02: He's a D2 lacrosse coach.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_02: The dude's a stud.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_02: But I was that typical bully big brother, always just like, you know, belittling him to help me stand out more to get mom and dad's attention.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_02: So it was really interesting, as I alluded to jokingly, but seriously, when I went to the middle of the jungle in Costa Rica, it was for a few ayahuasca ceremonies.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_02: And during my first ceremony, it was the most pleasant experience before it kicked me in the ass the next couple, in that I saw my childhood.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_02: And I realize how woo-woo this sounds if you're not familiar with the kind of spiritual aspect of plant medicine, but it is what it is.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_02: But I kind of started to see my childhood through my brother's eyes.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_02: And it helped me develop such compassion and empathy with, you know, how much he struggled in some moments.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_02: It's not to say Paul, the older brother's better or more successful, but I got a lot more of the attention because I was just happened to be the first kid.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_02: And then the attention got split as more kids came.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_02: And it and it really forced me to look much deeper and be much more honest about how I treated that relationship.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember one of my biggest action steps after that was I wrote him a letter.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that to this day was probably the biggest actions I could have ever taken that really strengthen our relationship.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_02: He happens to be a new father now, too.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_02: And our relationship is much stronger than it ever would have been had I not found a way to develop more empathy and compassion for kind of the experience he had as a child that was mightily different than mine.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_01: So when you first went to him, was he resistant or was he open to like, wait, Paul, you okay, man?
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_01: What's going on here, brother?
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_02: It it caught him off guard, but he was so open and accepting and grateful.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_02: But I it definitely caught him off guard.
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_01: That's what's fun.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_01: You do things, and sometimes we don't know we're doing these things.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_01: Because we get going too fast, and like um, you know, whether it's you know, like even when I was starting this entrepreneurial journey six years ago, I didn't, I didn't, I was wrapped up in things I didn't know I was wrapped up in.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_01: Thank God my wife said, Hey bro, we want Casey back.
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_01: What happened to him?
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_01: Now that wasn't fun to hear, but because I've been coached my whole life through sports, through life, whatever it is, um I think sometimes when you have to like ask why is someone sharing some A, it took them uh courage, courage to give me the feedback.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_01: So maybe I before I you know listen to respond, I listen to learn, like hmm, they're not just saying this to be an asshole or to be a heartless wench.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_01: She's here, she's doing it to help me.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_01: So let's look in the mirror and find out how we can.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I think when you do that, ma'am, and your kids see you do that, and even when we have these learning moments of growth, like I love sharing those with my kids.
• 39:45
  unknown: Yeah.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_02: No, that's deep.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_02: I'm glad you shared that.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_02: And too, like the way I look at it is I have an opportunity to be a role model for my siblings at this point.
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_02: Like I I'll I'll be the one to make the mistakes or go against the grain or the societal norms, or the way my family's always done things.
• 39:59
  SPEAKER_02: I guess I don't I don't.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_02: Give a fuck at this point.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_02: And I know in doing that, if I'm the one who has to bear the brood of the judgment and rejection initially, it creates a sense of safety for them to follow their dreams, to pursue their goals.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_02: And that's incredible.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_01: As you and your um your ex-wife go through this journey raising Benson, and if you were to fast forward the story 18 years now, 17 years now, he's off.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_01: He's like, Man, I'm so grateful, Mom and Dad.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_01: Found a way to do the uncommon, but make it successful.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um, these are the three things that I am the guy that I am.
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_01: I am the man of the guy I am, I am the man that I am today because of mom and dad.
• 40:40
  SPEAKER_01: And they taught me A, B, and C.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um, that's gonna help me become successful in life.
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_01: Tell me what comes to mind.
• 40:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's a great question.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_02: So, number one, the first thing that comes to mind is mom and dad's patience with one another.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_02: Solid.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_02: Number two is that kindness always prevails.
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_02: You know, someone once told me those so-called labeled negative emotions, and I don't think an emotion has to be negative per se, it can just be neutral.
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_02: But like anger, for example, it runs hot and rampant, it burns incredibly hot and fast, whereas love and kindness are the sustainable fuel sources.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_02: So learning to show up from a place of kindness, even when it's hard, goes a long way.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_02: So there's patience, there's kindness, kindness, and then it's learning to understand that two people can disagree and still move forward or communicate together.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_01: The media won't let us believe that, but you're but you're spot on, dude.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's so true.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it's so true how why we can't disagree, and and and I think just it's agree to disagree.
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I hope the challenge, don't be one of those people, and I'm gonna call people out here, and I don't mean to be feisty, but like don't be those people that's oh I I can't change, right?
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_01: I I don't want to agree, disagree.
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_01: I want to because again, if you're that person, you're that person that's like doesn't understand the the advice of be right or get what you want.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_01: You're the person that understands I just want to be right.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, when you're always that person of just wanting to be right, uh it doesn't always work.
• 42:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I think you made me think about kindness.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_01: You know, one of my former guests, Seth Davis, who is fantastic, fantastic talent on you know, does work for um lot college basketball, high school basketball, was on the March Madness for CBS.
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_01: And one of the things he on his Twitter, he always just talks about be kind.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, being nice will not be replaced by AI.
• 42:33
  SPEAKER_01: Being nice will never not be cool.
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_01: Who who says, God, that Paul guy, what a dick.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_01: He's so nice.
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, no one's gonna say that.
• 42:41
  SPEAKER_01: They're like, you know what?
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_01: He's a good dude.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, I disagree with him, but or Casey, what a goddy, why is he he's nice?
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_01: Can I nitpick word choice for a minute?
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_01: Because I know you'll appreciate it.
• 42:51
  SPEAKER_02: Please, yeah, coach me up.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_02: I actually don't like the word nice.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_02: I prefer kind.
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_02: How come?
• 42:56
  SPEAKER_02: The reason being, so there's a great book.
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_02: I'm looking at my shelf, it might be in the other room.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_02: Dr.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_02: Aziz, I don't want to butcher his last name and do him a disservice, Ghazi Pura or something, but the book's called Not Nice.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_02: And it's the dichotomy between being a nice guy, which in his case he argues the nice guy is the people pleaser, the one who avoids conflict, who is guilty of toxic positivity.
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_02: In contrast to being kind, is knowing you know what you stand for, what you're worth, having your boundaries and respecting yourself and your boundaries.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_02: You can be kind without being an asshole and being walked all over.
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_02: Someone who's nice, you can walk all over them.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_02: They're gonna please you, they're gonna quickly back down at the first challenge or pushback.
• 43:36
  SPEAKER_02: And again, I know you know you all appreciate we can get lost in the semantics and laugh at the simplicity of this nitpicking, but I think it goes a long way.
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_02: Like, you know, and the reason I bring it up was I don't, I yes, I want my son to be societally nice, but I'd rather him be kind.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_02: Because when he's kind, he's allowed to embody his truth and be confident of who he is and not back down for anybody.
• 43:57
  SPEAKER_01: Love it.
• 43:57
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it just it's it's every word does matter.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm glad you challenged me on that because I definitely feel like I'm more kind.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_02: Like um Yeah, I think so too.
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_01: You know, but it's but and if you're nice, it doesn't mean you're a bad person.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_01: Just like let's try to find ways, like as Paul said, to try to be more kind.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that the the hard part, I at least for me in deciphering that is when I hit is like when do you stand up?
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_01: Or when do you teach your kids to stand up versus are you are you standing up and your egos in the way, or are you standing up because it's the right thing to do?
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you got 18 more years of experience than me.
• 44:31
  SPEAKER_02: I was hoping you had all the answers.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_01: No, I mean I think you'll when when in doubt, I I'll, you know, sometimes taking the high road is the better road to take.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I pick, I pick and choose when I'm gonna make something an issue or not.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_01: But in the end, it's like, you know, I read a book uh on saying on what was it called?
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um it's on um the power, essentially the power of, oh, it's forgiveness, power power of forgiveness by got him Richard Case.
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_01: And he talked about, you know, rec reconciliation takes one.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_01: Um apology, I mean, how does that say it?
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_01: No, for reconciliation, no, forgiveness takes one, reconciliation takes two.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_01: Now that that to me, because sometimes if like you piss me off or someone else pissed me off, I can either let just eat eat eat away, or I can forgive them and then choose I don't but I just don't want to spend a lot of time with that person.
• 45:25
  SPEAKER_01: You know, yeah.
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_01: You and these are lessons too that like I I hope my kids remember from me and mom raising them, but it's like we're not you're gonna have people that are gonna frustrate you in life.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_01: But if you can instead of like focusing all about the negative, like try to find something about that relationship that's positive, or find something that's because to me that's a lot that's more of a more of an abundance mindset than negative mindset and yeah, scarce like you mentioned earlier.
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um so you you are uh you do a lot of work and mindset work, you've done hypnosis work, you do coaching.
• 46:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um you you you have a podcast, which I think it's fantastic.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um and I I think you know, maybe talk to us a little bit about what what was the what was the besides coaching, and you and you said you got into that because some of the mindset, the power of the mind, but like your podcast, talk about what um what why you got into that and how can people learn more about your podcast?
• 46:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so my podcast is called the Scratch Golfers Mindset Podcast, but candidly, it's a personal and professional development podcast disguised as a golf mindset podcast.
• 46:32
  SPEAKER_02: And I use golf as a mirror for our own personal development journey, just like entrepreneurship is, just like the game of poker is.
• 46:40
  SPEAKER_02: They're just mirrors of our own journey.
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_02: And I say all the time, you know, you don't experience imposter syndrome, performance anxiety, fear of failure of judgment solely on the golf course.
• 46:50
  SPEAKER_02: If you're experiencing there, you're experiencing it in your business, your personal life as well.
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_02: So the podcast was really born out of A, I love to talk, you know, everyone's learned that too.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_02: Um, B, one of the fastest ways that I really learn and integrate new knowledge I accumulate is by forcing myself to teach it to others.
• 47:07
  SPEAKER_02: So a podcast is a great way to give back.
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_02: But I also recognize when I got back involved with the game about 18 months ago, that candidly, a lot of the podcasts in the golf so-called mindset or golf psychology space were all of the same.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_02: They were all talking about surface level strategies, breathwork, gratitude, the power of positive thinking, positive self-talk.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_02: All of these are great.
• 47:27
  SPEAKER_02: But candidly, there are different facets of high performance that weren't being addressed.
• 47:34
  SPEAKER_02: And that's really getting into some of these what I call destructive mindset programs and learning to get into and confront the harsh truths, the part about yourself that you repress, hate, avoid, or try to escape from that is holding on to the superpower, the energy boost you need to get you to where you want to be.
• 47:52
  SPEAKER_02: And a lot of the framework I use is that you continue to remain stuck in this perpetual pattern of two steps forward, three steps back because of a lack of belief, a fear of failure, judgment, or success.
• 48:03
  SPEAKER_02: And really talking about a lot of the topics, using myself and the power of vulnerability to empower my listeners to look inward and equip them with the tools and strategies to unlearn some of those limiting beliefs that are trying to keep them safe.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_02: And how often do episodes come out?
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_02: So every Monday is a solo episode, every Thursday is an episode with an incredible guest like someone just as you.
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_01: And how long have we been doing the podcast and where can people find it?
• 48:34
  SPEAKER_02: This podcast, we are at episode 115 as of this morning.
• 48:38
  SPEAKER_02: So that's December 1st, 2025.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_02: So it's been a little over about a year and a half or so, and it's available on all major podcast platforms: Apple, Spotify, Amazon, Google Play, et cetera.
• 48:49
  SPEAKER_01: Love it.
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_01: So cool, dude.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_01: That's um that takes a lot of resilience and um focus and commitment and belief.
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and sometimes people ask me, like, what's your goal of the podcast?
• 49:02
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, to keep doing it.
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 49:04
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I don't, I don't tie.
• 49:07
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know about you, but I don't tie.
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe I should, but I don't, I don't tie.
• 49:10
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I'm not getting 46 downloads.
• 49:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna be on Oprah.
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_01: It's not why I'm doing it.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_01: You know, if I get one dad that says, dude, you help me out today, so worth it.
• 49:20
  SPEAKER_02: Some of those messages, those DMs or emails you get, like, dude, this episode changed my perspective, or I loved when you or so-and-so said this.
• 49:27
  SPEAKER_02: It's like, yeah, that just is a reminder of why I do this.
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_01: Keep doing it, exactly.
• 49:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and your coaching, how can people learn more about you as a coach?
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you can go to my website, thegolphhypnotherapist.com.
• 49:38
  SPEAKER_02: You can learn a lot more about mindset coaching specifically for golf and other athletics, or in the business and personal life side as well.
• 49:46
  SPEAKER_02: There are two separate pages there to learn how and what I can do to help you get unstuck and out of your own way.
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 49:51
  SPEAKER_01: And within that coaching space, is there like a specific um industry or a role, a job that someone would get you find get the most value out of what you teach?
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_02: So the two-part answer.
• 50:03
  SPEAKER_02: Number one is if you are a high performer, you are someone committed to being the best version of yourself, that is the general catch-all demographic of who I work with specifically.
• 50:12
  SPEAKER_02: It is the high-level executives, entrepreneurs, and business owners.
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_02: A lot of real estate agents, attorneys, and entrepreneurs are typically who I work with.
• 50:20
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 50:20
  SPEAKER_01: Love it, man.
• 50:21
  SPEAKER_01: Love it.
• 50:22
  SPEAKER_01: Um, if you were to summarize what we talked about today, um, that dads, uh, maybe moms, whoever else listened, that they can take from our conversation, that hopefully they've done some self-reflection, they've done some thinking, maybe they've done some gratitude work, some journaling.
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_01: And they and we could summarize everything we've talked about, Paul, like we call it like three actionable uh themes that they can take from our conversation, be that ultimate quarterback or leader of their home.
• 50:50
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, tell me what comes to mind.
• 50:52
  SPEAKER_02: Give your son or daughter a better parenting experience than you had.
• 50:57
  SPEAKER_02: I don't care how perfect your childhood was and how amazing your parents are, there are still shortcomings because every one of us is imperfect.
• 51:05
  SPEAKER_02: So learn from your childhood.
• 51:08
  SPEAKER_02: What did you wish you had or what did you not have that you needed, and make sure you give that or you develop the skill set to provide that for your son or daughter.
• 51:17
  SPEAKER_02: Number two, I mean, be kind.
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_02: Because guess what?
• 51:21
  SPEAKER_02: That little one's listening, hearing, unconsciously picking up on how you treat other people, the waitresses, whoever it may be, be kind.
• 51:28
  SPEAKER_02: And number three, I think you asked for three.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_02: We we didn't directly talk about it, but it was alluded to.
• 51:35
  SPEAKER_02: It's just that our kids are our greatest teachers.
• 51:40
  SPEAKER_02: And if you can learn to slow down, you know, we talked about the journaling practice, we didn't mention gratitude, and just observe what it is you're feeling from a certain interaction with your kid.
• 51:52
  SPEAKER_02: Learn not to take it personally.
• 51:54
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I have a one-year-old, he's very much deep in the learning how to emotionally regulate himself phase.
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_02: So just learning from them, I think you will rapidly evolve as an individual in an individual.
• 52:07
  SPEAKER_02: And the person who benefits most from that is your son or daughter.
• 52:10
  SPEAKER_01: So good.
• 52:11
  SPEAKER_01: I love it, man.
• 52:12
  SPEAKER_01: That's that's that's good advice.
• 52:13
  SPEAKER_01: And even as someone that's doing it, that's been doing it longer than you, I still I still want to learn.
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_01: I still want to find ways.
• 52:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um just like anything, you know, leave it better than you found it.
• 52:25
  SPEAKER_01: And um I think just also I'd say the last thing I'd just like um add to what Paul's wisdom he said is I'd say give yourself grace.
• 52:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um if you're listening to this podcast, that tells me that you're trying to get better, you're trying to learn, you're trying to be a better version of you.
• 52:41
  SPEAKER_01: And guess what?
• 52:43
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna all fuck up together.
• 52:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so but when you do fuck up, own it, ask for help.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_01: Find you don't need to hire if you maybe you don't have money to go hire a coach, that's okay.
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_01: Find a friend, ask for help, find a coworker, find somebody where you can just be vulnerable to share because man, it is freeing when you do it.
• 53:01
  SPEAKER_01: I will it is freeing when you do it.
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_01: How can people um I want to get one just one more minor?
• 53:08
  SPEAKER_01: How can people find you?
• 53:09
  SPEAKER_01: What's the what's the best way again?
• 53:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um just lead lead us, make make it really easy again for people.
• 53:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, the podcast is the Scratch Golfers Mindset Podcast.
• 53:18
  SPEAKER_02: The golfhypnotherapist.com is the website.
• 53:22
  SPEAKER_01: It'll be linked in the show notes, everybody.
• 53:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um it's now time to uh to go into what I call the lightning round.
• 53:29
  SPEAKER_01: Paul, this is where I ask you random questions.
• 53:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um I'll show you the negative hits taking too many hits in college, not bong hits, but football hits.
• 53:37
  SPEAKER_01: Your job is to answer these questions as quickly as you can, and my job is to uh get a giggle out of you.
• 53:43
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 53:44
  SPEAKER_01: Are you ready?
• 53:46
  SPEAKER_01: As ready as I'll ever be.
• 53:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um, true or false.
• 53:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um when you worked at IMG, uh you beat Travis Thomas in a 40-yard dash.
• 53:57
  SPEAKER_01: False.
• 53:59
  SPEAKER_01: Told you random dude.
• 54:01
  SPEAKER_01: How does that thought get in my head?
• 54:02
  SPEAKER_01: I have no idea.
• 54:03
  SPEAKER_01: Travis, what's up, buddy?
• 54:04
  SPEAKER_01: Random acts of kindness Friday.
• 54:06
  SPEAKER_01: I learned that from him.
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_01: Rack Friday.
• 54:08
  SPEAKER_01: Rack Friday.
• 54:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, if your son was eight and he he could talk to you uh verbally, uh, and he went into your phone, tell me what would be the one genre of music that he'd be like, Dad, why don't you listen to that?
• 54:22
  SPEAKER_01: Dude, it's not even Thanksgiving.
• 54:23
  SPEAKER_01: Why don't you listen to the Christmas music?
• 54:25
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I love Christmas music.
• 54:26
  SPEAKER_02: Me too, man.
• 54:27
  SPEAKER_02: Who's your go-to Christmas music?
• 54:29
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, three songs.
• 54:30
  SPEAKER_02: Always.
• 54:31
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 54:31
  SPEAKER_02: Obviously, All I Want for Christmas is you, Maria Carrie.
• 54:34
  SPEAKER_02: Duh.
• 54:34
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, number two, happy holidays, Andy Williams.
• 54:37
  SPEAKER_02: And number three, I always mispronounce it, but Christmas Sarajevo, Trans Siberian Orchestra.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_02: Where is Michael Bublé in that list?
• 54:45
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, he's up there.
• 54:45
  SPEAKER_02: He's just not top three.
• 54:47
  SPEAKER_01: God Bublet is fantastic.
• 54:48
  SPEAKER_01: Booblay, if you're listening and you want to come on the podcast, we'd love to have you.
• 54:52
  SPEAKER_01: I'll I'll I'll even sing a sing a song with you.
• 54:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um, if you were to take your son on vacation right now, where would you take him?
• 55:01
  SPEAKER_02: Costa Rica.
• 55:02
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 55:03
  SPEAKER_01: If there was to be a book written about your life, tell me the title.
• 55:06
  SPEAKER_02: Mmm, Casey, you're hitting deep on that.
• 55:09
  SPEAKER_02: Oh man.
• 55:10
  SPEAKER_02: The Man Who Constantly Evolved.
• 55:13
  SPEAKER_01: What a great book.
• 55:15
  SPEAKER_01: Now, well, you know this or not, Paul, but I went to Amazon to try to buy The Man Who's Constantly Trying to Evolve and it sold out.
• 55:21
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I went to Barnes Noble, sold out.
• 55:24
  SPEAKER_01: Airports, sold out.
• 55:25
  SPEAKER_01: So they're making a movie out of it now.
• 55:27
  SPEAKER_01: And Netflix just beat out Hulu for the rights.
• 55:30
  SPEAKER_01: They've named you the casting director.
• 55:31
  SPEAKER_01: I need to know who's going to star you in this critically acclaimed hit new movie.
• 55:35
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 55:36
  SPEAKER_02: First person that came to mind is Matthew McConaughey.
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_01: I could see that.
• 55:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I could see that.
• 55:42
  SPEAKER_01: I need a little of his humor.
• 55:44
  SPEAKER_01: Sneaky humor, 100%.
• 55:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I thought you might say like a Wahlberg with the tats.
• 55:50
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, so it's funny.
• 55:51
  SPEAKER_02: Shooter to this day is one of my all-time favorite movies because of him.
• 55:54
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I love all Mark Wahlberg movies.
• 55:56
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, yeah, you're right.
• 55:57
  SPEAKER_01: He's funny and talented, and just he reminds me of like uh Julian Elman.
• 56:03
  SPEAKER_01: Dude, yeah, he's a meathead, he's stocky, he's dude, he's got a hell of a work ethic.
• 56:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 56:08
  SPEAKER_01: And he likes golf too.
• 56:10
  SPEAKER_01: Bingo.
• 56:11
  SPEAKER_01: I think he I think I saw a show where he's got like like golf holes at his house.
• 56:16
  SPEAKER_01: I wouldn't be surprised.
• 56:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, okay.
• 56:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you dream forceome.
• 56:21
  SPEAKER_01: Who's in it?
• 56:24
  SPEAKER_01: My son.
• 56:27
  SPEAKER_02: My son, Kobe Bryant, because he didn't say uh with us or not, and my grandfather.
• 56:33
  SPEAKER_01: What a group.
• 56:35
  SPEAKER_01: Planet tips.
• 56:37
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 56:39
  SPEAKER_01: Mom, but mindset.
• 56:40
  SPEAKER_01: Shout out to you, Kobe.
• 56:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um, okay, and then last question tell me two words that you hope will describe you as a dad in 18 years.
• 56:50
  SPEAKER_02: Relentless supporter.
• 56:52
  SPEAKER_01: Boom.
• 56:54
  SPEAKER_01: Lightning round is over.
• 56:55
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, we went comedy, we went deep, we went all over the place, which is the mind of a random person like myself.
• 57:02
  SPEAKER_01: But uh 55 minutes later, everybody, we've had a fantastic conversation.
• 57:05
  SPEAKER_01: I've learned a ton.
• 57:05
  SPEAKER_01: Got a page full of notes.
• 57:06
  SPEAKER_01: I hope you do as well.
• 57:08
  SPEAKER_01: If this episode has impacted you, I I encourage you to do a couple things.
• 57:13
  SPEAKER_01: One, leave us a review wherever you listen to this episode, or two, share the link, share the episode with a friend who you think could get something out of this.
• 57:21
  SPEAKER_01: The more that we um share these types of conversations where we're gonna help people because everybody has a little secret to home.
• 57:28
  SPEAKER_01: I don't get paid to do this.
• 57:29
  SPEAKER_01: This is just pure fun, and this is the way I feel like I work on myself through these episodes, and it slows me down to just work on my curiosity, work on my listening skills, uh, and learn about myself and learn about others.
• 57:40
  SPEAKER_01: And if I can become a better dad through these conversations, that's the goal.
• 57:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I hope that that's a similar answer that you might say while you listen to the quarterback dad cast.
• 57:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um, Paul, grateful our paths across.
• 57:52
  SPEAKER_01: Zachary Tyser, thank you for making this happen.
• 57:55
  SPEAKER_01: And um I'm grateful our paths across.
• 57:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I know that this won't be the last time, but when I come to uh Florida, brother, we're gonna play some golf.
• 58:04
  SPEAKER_01: You got a you got a tea time ready at Tampa Pums, my friend.
• 58:07
  SPEAKER_01: There we go.
• 58:08
  SPEAKER_01: Awesome.
• 58:08
  SPEAKER_01: Appreciate you, brother.
• 58:09
  SPEAKER_01: We'll talk to you soon.
• 58:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, likewise, thank you.