Latest / Inspirations for Your Life / STOP Taking ADVANTAGE of People! (S5) S44 Tuesday

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STOP Taking ADVANTAGE of People! (S5) S44 Tuesday · Inspirations for Your Life

0:25
Well there, hello everyone, and welcome to the
0:27
ever-popular Inspirations for Your Life Show.
0:29
It is great to be with you.
0:30
It is Tuesday, it's October 27th, and it
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is 2026.
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Welcome on this fine Tuesday.
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If this is the very first time you're
0:41
joining me, I'd like to take the opportunity
0:42
to say welcome, and of course, I'd like
0:45
to say thank you.
0:49
If you have been here many times before,
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I want to say thank you and welcome,
0:54
but I also want to say another very
0:55
important word, and that is welcome back, because
0:58
you are very welcome here.
1:00
We'll get into the show in just a
1:02
moment, but if you're thirsty, if you're hungry,
1:04
feel free to go grab something.
1:04
I've got a delicious R.O. water here,
1:06
a fresh lemon, but feel free to get
1:11
yourself something, whether it's a snack, a beverage,
1:12
whatever it is, feel free to grab that
1:14
and come on back to the show.
1:18
Don't forget to check out BelieveMeAchieve.com for
1:22
more of my amazing, inspiring creations.
1:26
All right, guys, so let's kick this show
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off, shall we?
1:31
All right, let's do it.
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So stop taking advantage of people.
1:35
Series 5, show 44, episode 3, it's Tuesday.
1:41
Welcome everyone to the ever-popular Inspirations for
1:43
Your Life Show.
1:44
I'm John Seymour, a serial entrepreneur, engineer, marketing
1:47
specialist, video producer, podcast host, coach, professional keynote
1:51
speaker, a graduate student at Montclair State University,
1:54
a passionate lifelong learner, and now so grateful
1:56
to be, yes, a published author.
1:59
So let me ask you something, everyone.
2:02
Have you ever agreed to something because you
2:04
felt you had no other choice but to
2:07
do that?
2:08
Or have you ever realized that someone was
2:13
using your difficult circumstances to gain an advantage
2:16
over you?
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Here's an even tougher question.
2:21
You ready?
2:22
Have you ever benefited from an arrangement without
2:28
considering whether the other person was being treated
2:31
fairly?
2:33
Our weekly master topic is stop saying you
2:36
care.
2:36
Start proving it.
2:39
Sunday, we explored compassion.
2:41
Monday, we learned to turn kindness into action.
2:45
Today, Tuesday, our theme is practice fairness.
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Because you see, integrity isn't measured only by
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what you gain.
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It is also revealed by how you treat
2:56
others.
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Let's explore 30 ways to practice fairness in
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everyday life.
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Number one, recognize when unequal power creates opportunities
3:06
for exploitation.
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When you have more authority, resources, or even
3:12
information, consider how that advantage affects someone else's
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choice because it does.
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Number two, stop assuming that something is fair
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because it's permitted.
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Rules and agreements, they matter.
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But responsible judgment also considers honesty and reasonable
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treatment.
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Number three, understand the difference between a reasonable
3:38
exchange and taking advantage.
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A fair advantage arrangement respects everyone's interests without
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deliberately exploiting another person's vulnerabilities.
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I think that's really key, guys.
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Number four, recognize when someone's difficult circumstances limit
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their choices.
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Urgency, financial pressure, or limited alternatives can make
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people more vulnerable to unfair demands.
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That's key, guys.
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Number five, stop using another person's urgency to
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pressure them into agreement.
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Give people reasonable opportunities to understand important terms
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before going ahead and making commitments.
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I know that sounds hard, but that is
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really something that we need to definitely embrace.
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Something that maybe some people don't understand, but
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it's something that I think a lot of
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people have to be aware of.
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But we've got to be understanding of this.
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Number six, learn to communicate expectations clearly before
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making commitments.
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Discuss responsibilities, costs, timelines, and limitations so
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misunderstandings don't become unnecessary conflicts.
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Number seven, recognize the importance of treating people
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fairly in financial matters.
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That's one I think that confuses a lot
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of people, but it's really important.
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So be transparent about charges, payments, and obligations.
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Financial trust depends on honesty.
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Number eight, stop hiding important conditions behind confusing
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explanations.
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If a term significantly affects someone, explain it
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clearly rather than hoping they overlook it.
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Number nine, understand that fairness requires considering the
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impact of your decisions.
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Ask who benefits, who carries the burden, and
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whether the arrangement is reasonable or not.
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I think sometimes the word reasonable gets like
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muddy, the words get muddied with the word
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reasonable.
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People are like, I don't know what you're
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talking about, I have no clue what you
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mean by reasonable.
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Well, and then it's funny how reasonable gets
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misinterpreted when it's for you as opposed to
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for someone else, right?
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You're more stingy when it's for someone else,
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but you're not as giving with them, but
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you're more to yourself.
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Number 10, recognize when someone may be afraid
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to challenge your authority.
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A person's silence may reflect concern about consequences
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rather than genuine comfort.
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Number 11, stop confusing someone's silence with genuine
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agreement.
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Create opportunities for questions and clarification, especially when
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important decisions are involved.
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Number 12, learn to negotiate without deliberately misleading
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the other person.
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You can advocate for your interests while remaining
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truthful and, of course, respectful.
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That's important, you guys.
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Number 13, recognize when your convenience creates an
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unreasonable burden for others.
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Consider whether your decisions repeatedly shift avoidable costs
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or responsibilities onto someone else.
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And I think that's something that a lot
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of people don't realize.
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They don't notice that shift, but then suddenly
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it hits them and they're like, oh, wait
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a minute.
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What was that?
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Or what's going on?
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Right?
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I think that's an important piece that a
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lot of people, you know, they miss.
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They don't understand that.
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Number 14, stop expecting unpaid effort without proper
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discussion or consent.
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Respect people's time and expertise.
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Make expectations clear before asking for substantial work.
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Number 15, understand why transparency transfers and strengthens
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professional relationships.
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Honest communication reduces confusion and helps people make
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informed decisions.
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But why is it some people get stuck?
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I think they get stuck because of, you
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know, what's happened.
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And that doesn't happen overnight, guys.
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OK, it doesn't happen overnight.
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And if that happens, then maybe you're wondering,
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like, why something is a certain way.
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The question is why, right?
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I think that's an important piece that maybe
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people, like, don't quite understand, right?
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They don't quite understand that.
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But they could, right?
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Hard to understand, right?
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And maybe you're going to say to me,
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John, well, maybe this isn't the right thing
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for the moment.
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And that becomes something that we don't always
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know.
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Can you think about that for a moment?
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I think sometimes people just go a certain
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way, right?
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And when that happens, it affects people.
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And that could change who you are for
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the moment.
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But then it could affect you permanently, too.
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Number 16, recognize the value of honoring agreed
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terms and responsibilities.
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Keeping your commitments demonstrates respect for the people
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who rely upon you.
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Commitments are for you, but they're also for
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other people.
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I said that they help build our character.
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Character is what we have in private.
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Reputation is what we have in public.
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So our character builds our reputation.
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Number 17, stop changing expectations after someone has
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already committed.
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If circumstances require changes, discuss them openly instead
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of imposing surprises on people.
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Number 18, learn to consider the needs of
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people with fewer resources.
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Not everyone has the same financial flexibility, time,
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or access to alternatives.
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That's a hard one for people.
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But if we're aware of this, because every
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little thing around us changes us.
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You might say, John, it doesn't make a
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big difference.
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But I'm here to tell you it does.
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And I want to tell you that little
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changes create success.
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Little changes create success.
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Not big changes.
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Little changes.
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Little changes that say, look, this is what
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it's about right now.
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That's what it's about right now.
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But is it about something like that?
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Or is it about something different?
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Is it about something different?
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That's a huge difference, guys.
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Huge difference.
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So number 19, guys, recognize when your decisions
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affect individuals who cannot easily object.
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Consider the perspectives of people who may lack
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influence or feel uncomfortable raising concerns with you.
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Sometimes people, they don't want a whole face.
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They just want to move, right?
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They don't want a conflict, right?
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I think that's a big problem for a
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lot of people.
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They don't want to state what they really
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want, but they want to avoid conflict.
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That's an important piece, okay?
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And I think that's something that I hope
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a lot of people will understand.
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And I know you're probably saying to me,
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John, that doesn't make a lot of sense.
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But it actually does.
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And that's something I think that a lot
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of people don't realize.
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They don't realize that's about what's going on.
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And that can make a difference for us,
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a difference that could change your whole perspective
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of life.
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Number 20, I'm going to ask you to
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please stop using guilt to obtain favors or
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special treatments.
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I told you about a pastor that did
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this at my college.
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And he had a way.
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When he didn't get what he wanted, he
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used guilt.
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Requests should allow people to make reasonable choices
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without emotional manipulation.
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Emotional manipulation, guys, is a trick.
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It's a tactic.
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It's not fair, right?
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Not fair, but it's something
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we need to be aware of, right?
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It's something we need to be aware of.
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And if we're not aware of it, then
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how are we ever going to make a
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difference?
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We're not.
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We're constantly going to be finding ourselves back
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in the same spot that we were in.
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And then wondering why our life isn't changing.
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We're doing the same thing over and over
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again.
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And we're expecting different results.
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What do we call that?
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We call that insanity.
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That's what Einstein said many years ago.
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Number 21.
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Understand that ethical leadership requires accountability.
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Authority doesn't eliminate responsibility.
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Leaders must be willing to explain decisions and
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address concerns.
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Again, that's not something that happens overnight.
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Number 22.
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Recognize the difference between a genuine mistake, which
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happens, and a repeated unfair pattern.
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Everyone makes mistakes or errors.
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It's going to happen.
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But repeated behaviors deserve serious reflection and correction.
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When somebody uses a behavior over and over
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again to get something, because now they know
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they are manipulating you, and it works, which
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isn't good, they keep using that behavior.
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So we have to understand the difference between
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a mistake that happens once, right?
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We learn from the mistake.
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But if we keep eliciting that same bad
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behavior, we're taking advantage of the situation, aren't
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we?
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We're taking advantage of the situation.
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Number 23, guys.
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Stop dismissing concerns simply because they come from
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someone less powerful.
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Valuable feedback can come from anyone, regardless of
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title, income, or even position.
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I think sometimes people expect things to come
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from the top, but they can actually come
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from things lower, things equal.
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It's all about that ego, right?
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It's all about that ego, that ego that
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I think a lot of people don't understand
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what's going on or why something's going on.
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And I'll tell you that you can make
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a difference if you truly want that, okay?
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If you truly want that.
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And if that's the case, you're going to
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make big strides in your life.
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But you've got to remember to put the
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ego aside.
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I know that might be hard for a
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lot of people.
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How do I put my ego aside?
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How?
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How do I do that?
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That's probably the biggest thing I can say
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to you.
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How do you do that?
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That's tough.
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It's tough, but it's something you definitely can
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do if you want to.
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If you want to.
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If you don't want to, then maybe you're
18:28
going to be like, you're going to be
18:29
stuck somewhere.
18:30
And that stuck is going to be like,
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oh my gosh, what do I do?
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And then you're like going back and saying,
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okay, this is what I've got to do.
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This is the type of thing I need
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to do.
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This is how I need to change my
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life.
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And I think we change our life because
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we want to become better.
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We want to become better.
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It's not hard, but it does require some
19:08
patience.
19:10
Some practice.
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And that's a problem for a lot of
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people.
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They don't have the patience.
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They don't have the wherewithal.
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They're still operating on, well, this is how
19:32
we used to do it.
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Well, it changed.
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Number 24.
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Learn to correct an unfair decision when you
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discover it.
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Not when somebody else tells you about it.
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That's too late.
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Acknowledge the problem.
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Consider the consequences.
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And take an appropriate corrective step now.
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Not an hour from now.
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Not a day from now.
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Not a week from now.
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Not a month from now.
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Or a quarter from now.
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Now.
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Recognize and make the change.
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That's important, guys.
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I think if people understand potential, they'll be
20:22
like, wow.
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I think choices can be hard for some
20:31
people.
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Because they don't necessarily know what they're getting
20:35
involved with.
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And decisions become unfair when somebody points it
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out to us.
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But we should have the moral fortitude to
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say, wait a minute.
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I'm not acting fairly.
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I'm not acting justly.
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It's funny how our barometer seems to pay
21:00
attention to whether it's fair or just.
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If it's someone else.
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But when it's us, we're not paying the
21:06
same attention we should be.
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Number 25, guys.
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Recognize why fairness should apply even when nobody
21:13
is watching.
21:15
Your principles matter, guys.
21:18
Mostly when you have an opportunity to benefit
21:21
without being questioned.
21:26
I think that's one that a lot of
21:28
people today say, well, nobody's watching me.
21:30
So why do I even have to do
21:31
it?
21:31
Remember what I told you.
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You build character when you're alone.
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That funnels into your public life, which is
21:40
your reputation.
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So when you do something when no one
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else is watching, you're building your character.
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You're strengthening it.
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Number 26, stop measuring success only by what
21:56
you gain from an arrangement.
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Consider the quality of the relationship.
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The fairness of the outcome.
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And even the trust that you preserve.
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That will not only help others, it'll help
22:08
you do more.
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Because you'll believe in yourself.
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Number 27, understand that long-term trust depends
22:18
on honest treatment.
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People are more likely to maintain relationships when
22:24
expectations are clear and commitments are in respect.
22:26
Does that make sense?
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If you say to me, no, John, it
22:30
doesn't, I'm going to ask you to think
22:32
again.
22:33
Because the chances are you're probably not wanting
22:37
to be, well, honest about it.
22:41
To be frank.
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Number 28, identify one situation where you could
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demonstrate greater fairness.
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Think about an agreement, responsibility, or interaction that
22:58
deserves another look.
23:01
Another review.
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And then really adjust to that.
23:09
Say, is this what should be happening or
23:13
no?
23:18
Tough question, isn't it?
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Number 29, take one responsible action to make
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that situation more equitable.
23:33
Clarify a term, correct an oversight, or invite
23:36
a respectful conversation.
23:40
Number 30, guys, practice fairness because integrity matters
23:45
more than personal advantage.
23:47
You'll learn that when you want to be
23:48
able to build character for yourself.
23:51
Remember, you build character for yourself in private,
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and that funnels down into a good reputation
23:56
in public.
23:57
Success should never require abandoning honesty or exploiting
24:02
someone else's circumstances or being dishonest.
24:06
Even if it's going to benefit you.
24:09
It's tempting, but don't do it.
24:12
Now, ladies and gentlemen, here is your Tuesday
24:14
challenge.
24:15
I want you to review one agreement, just
24:17
one, or interaction in your life.
24:21
It might involve your business, your workplace, family,
24:26
or even your community that you live in.
24:28
Ask yourself, are the expectations for me clear?
24:34
Does everyone understand the important conditions?
24:38
Yes?
24:39
No?
24:40
Am I treating the other people or persons
24:49
with respect?
24:53
Is there an unreasonable burden that I could
24:57
help correct?
24:59
Not because I'm trying to be a hero,
25:01
but because I'm trying to do the right
25:03
thing.
25:06
The right thing.
25:12
The right thing.
25:17
Identify one issue in your control.
25:21
And take a responsive step to address it
25:23
now, not later.
25:25
Maybe you clarify a misunderstanding.
25:28
We all know that friendships have problems when
25:30
there's misunderstandings, so let's make sure communication is
25:32
always clear.
25:34
Did you know that 95% of the
25:36
time people go to court, it's because of
25:38
misunderstandings between neighbors or friends?
25:40
That's terrible.
25:41
Why can't people take more time to understand
25:43
things before it blows up into a big
25:45
lawsuit?
25:47
Maybe you honor an overdue commitment.
25:51
Maybe you correct an unfair expectation.
25:54
Or maybe you listen to someone whose concerns
25:56
haven't been taken seriously.
26:00
Remember, ladies and gentlemen, fairness doesn't mean everyone
26:03
will always agree.
26:05
Somebody always told me this in court.
26:07
In court, everyone's not always happy with the
26:10
outcome, but the judge tries to make it
26:12
fair.
26:13
It means approaching decisions with honesty, true accountability,
26:19
and, of course, true respect.
26:22
Now, let's go and tie together today's message
26:28
to our weekly journey.
26:30
Sunday taught us to show compassion.
26:33
Monday challenged us to take action.
26:37
And today, Tuesday, we are learning to practice
26:41
fairness.
26:47
It's a hard one.
26:48
Sometimes your friend will be like, well, you
26:50
know, let this slide.
26:52
Right?
26:53
I remember working in a – I was
26:57
actually working in a tree farm.
27:01
They brought the trees in.
27:02
I was working at a tree lot you
27:03
qualify for Christmas many years ago.
27:06
And I remember a friend came in.
27:07
And he's like, oh, well, you can help
27:09
me out.
27:09
I said, what do you mean I can
27:10
help you out?
27:11
Oh, the tree is $95.
27:14
He's like, yeah, but you can chase him
27:15
out.
27:15
No, I can't.
27:16
That's the tree.
27:20
And the thing is, if I was to
27:24
give him a discount, I wouldn't really be
27:27
fair.
27:30
Could I have got away with it?
27:31
Sure.
27:35
But I wasn't being fair, and I wasn't
27:37
acting with moral character.
27:42
Tomorrow, ladies and gentlemen, Wednesday, we're going to
27:44
explore together how to build respect through healthier
27:49
relationships and thoughtful behaviors.
27:52
Later this week, we'll examine resilience, leadership, and
27:56
living your values.
27:57
Each lesson builds on the last.
27:59
Because caring about others means more than offering
28:03
kind words.
28:04
It also means refusing to exploit their circumstances
28:07
when you have the opportunities to gain an
28:09
unfair advantage.
28:10
Now, I want to hear from you.
28:12
So comment below and check this out.
28:15
Stop saying you care.
28:17
Start proving it now.
28:18
I'm John C.
28:19
Morley, serial entrepreneur.
28:20
Be sure to check out BelieveMeAchieve.com for
28:22
more of my amazing, inspiring creations.