Latest / Midlife Glow Up: Simplifying Fitness, Nutrition and Healthy Habits for Women over 40 / 15. The Missing Piece of the Puzzle to Reaching Your Goals in Midlife

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15. The Missing Piece of the Puzzle to Reaching Your Goals in Midlife · Midlife Glow Up: Simplifying Fitness, Nutrition and Healthy Habits for Women over 40

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: If you feel like you've been doing all the right things, eating protein, trying to eat colors of the rainbow, working out regularly, but your results still feel inconsistent or they've stalled, this episode is for you.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: If you keep falling off or snacking when you're stressed, or restarting every Monday, or wondering why consistency feels so hard, even though you care deeply about your health, you are not alone.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: And if a small part of you has started to feel discouraged or overwhelmed or even a little hopeless, like maybe this is just how it is now, I want you to keep listening.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: Today we're talking about the missing piece of the puzzle when it comes to reaching your goals in midlife.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: And it's probably not what you think.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the Midlife Glow Up Podcast, where we simplify fitness, nutrition, and healthy habits for women over 40.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Joan Dandano, your midlife health and wellness coach.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're ready to feel strong, consistent, and confident in this season of life, you are in the right place, my friend.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so glad you're here today because this episode is an important one.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: This is the final episode before my 21-day habit challenge begins on Monday, your midlife reset.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to talk about something that I truly believe is the missing piece for so many women.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: There are so many pieces to the puzzle of our health, especially in midlife, when we add in hormones and aging parents and all the responsibilities and changing friends.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: There's just so many things going on, right?
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: But when we think about our health, they we know that we're supposed to be eating protein.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: We know that we should be getting fiber.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: We should be trying to get colors on our plate.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: We should be eating several times throughout the day.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: We should move and we should stretch and we should breathe and meditate and read.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: And we've tried programs and diets, and it's just like a lot, right?
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: Most of the time, the women that I'm talking to are getting a lot of things right, but consistency feels hard.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Momentum feels like it's hard to build.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: And then even if they start to build some momentum, then life gets busy and then all of a sudden everything falls apart again.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: I hear things like, I feel like I'm doing all the things, but my body is just on its own course.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Parenting is a roller coaster, my mood is low, I feel overwhelmed.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Many women tell me that they're not hungry during the day, and then they eat their way through prepping dinner and dinner itself.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: Others say that they're mindly snacking at night and they feel like it's their reward after a long day of work.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: Some are just discouraged by how unfit they've become after years of dieting and trying to stick to do workout plans.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: And then other women say, nothing is really holding me back, but somehow I just don't make time for myself.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: And underneath all of this is this heavy thought of like, what is wrong with me?
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: Why can't I stick with this?
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: So if this sounds familiar to you, I want you to know you're not alone.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: And this episode was made exactly for you when it comes to your reaching your health and fitness goals in midlife.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the spoiler it's not more discipline, it's not more information, it's not trying harder.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: It is dun dun, support.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: And when I say support, I mean having a community, having accountability, having structure built into your life so that your habits don't disappear the moment stress happens or you travel or you get sick or you're exhausted.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: There is this belief among, especially among capable, high, high-functioning women, that we should be able to do all of this on our own, that if we just had enough willpower or we found the right plan or we finally got our act together, that we wouldn't need any help.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: But here is the truth: going it alone is way overrated.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: And in midlife, it is often the very thing that keeps women stuck because habits don't fail typically from a lack of effort.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: They fail from a lack of support.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: Having support in your life is not a crutch, it's actually a system.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because as I have said a bajillion times before, motivation is unreliable and energy is finite, and the season of life is so full.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: And if you don't have a support system for your healthy habits baked into your life, it will not be easy to follow through with them.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because you're managing work and your kids and schedules and travel and stress and illness and hormone changes and back pain and a million different competing priorities for your time.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: But then you wonder why consistency feels hard.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: If consistency was simply about wanting it bad enough, we would all already be exactly where we want to be.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to share with you today what accountability is.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: I want to paint the picture for you.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think sometimes people think accountability is pressure, somebody watching you, judging you whether you did it right.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: But real accountability isn't about being policed.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's about surrounding yourself with people who expect you to show up, who cheer you on when you do, and who normalize behaviors that you're trying to build.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because your habits don't exist in a vacuum.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: They exist inside of your environment, your messy, imperfect life.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: So think about this for a moment.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: If you are surrounded by people who drink wine regularly, then drinking wine feels normal.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: You don't question it, you don't overthink it, you just do it.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's what everybody else is doing.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: But if you surround yourself with people who walk daily and lift weights and prep protein and talk about energy and strength and their mental health, then these behaviors start to feel normal too.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: And that matters way more than motivation.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: Because when your goals, when your healthy habits feel normal, they feel easier because they're part of who you are, not just what you do, quote unquote, when you're being good.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Your habits stop feeling extreme or isolating, and they just feel like part of your life.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: And there's actually science behind this.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: This is biology, this is psychology.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: One of the longest-running studies on health and well-being followed people for decades and found something which was surprising that strong social connections are one of the biggest predictors of long-term health, happiness, and resilience.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: It didn't matter their income or their status or their intelligence.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: What mattered most was did they have a connection to a community, something bigger than themselves?
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: Research on behavior change consistently shows that people are far more likely to follow through on their goals when they share them with others, when they say their goals out loud.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: They have accountability and they feel supported rather than isolated.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, simply knowing that someone else is aware of your goal, someone who cares, dramatically increases the chances that you will follow through and reach that goal.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Support makes your healthy habits sustainable.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: One of my favorite things to focus on in life is community.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to back up and share a little bit of personal context here because I think my belief in support and community doesn't come out of nowhere for me.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: I moved around a lot as a kid.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: I was a Navy brat.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: And in fact, I moved, gosh, 10 times, I think.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: Let's count it out.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I was born in San Diego, California.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: My dad was in the Navy, and we lived there for six weeks before my parents packed up a car without air conditioning and drove a newborn baby as well as a dog all the way across the country to Annapolis, Maryland.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: And then we moved to Jacksonville, Florida.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: We moved back to Annapolis.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: Then we moved to Charleston, South Carolina.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: Then we moved to Panama City, Florida.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: From there, I went to college at Auburn University in Alabama and met my now husband.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: But straight from college, we moved to Atlanta, Georgia together.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Then we moved, got married, moved to Springboro, Ohio, lived there for five years, had two babies and a dog, and then moved back to Jacksonville, Florida, where I thought, this is it.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: We're going to be beach bums, raise our babies here a block from the ocean.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: Had a wonderful time there, had my third baby there.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: And then God had other plans for us, picked us up, and moved us as far away as possible to Seattle, Washington, where we've been for the past 14 years.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: So when I say I moved around a lot, it was a lot.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: There were always new schools and new places and new faces.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: And when you move that often, you learn pretty quickly that feeling grounded doesn't come from the place that you live, but it comes from the people that you connect with.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: So what made those trans transitions really survivable for me and sometimes even meaningful was learning how to build community.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I truly believe that that has been one of the biggest life lessons that I have learned that I'm so passionate about sharing with other women.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like making friends, building community, feeling connected to something bigger than yourself is so important.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, for our healthy habits, but just in general, mental health, women, we need people.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: We need friends.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: I know for my husband, he'll often say, like, I don't really need anybody but you, babe, where like I'm good.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, well, I'm sorry, but I do.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: I need, I need friends.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: I need to be able to verbally process what's going on.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: I need to feel like I'm not going crazy when my kids are doing this or that.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: So finding people who made me feel like I belonged was a huge piece, missing piece of my puzzle.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: And that sense of belonging has mattered to me more than anything over all those different moves.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: So when I started having babies, I was very intentional about finding other moms that I could connect with.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: People were who were in the same season as I was, asking questions, feeling like we could connect over how exhausted we were and how uncertain we were about this giant job title that we just gained.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: Motherhood is so hard.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: And doing it alone makes it even harder.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: So when we lived in Jacksonville, I knew, you know, I wanted to have fitness be a huge part of what I did, but I really wanted to connect that with community.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: And then when I moved out to Seattle, it was very challenging to make friends.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: That was the hardest move that I had made from that perspective.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: I felt like I we moved, of course, in the rainiest and dreariest time here in Seattle in February.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: And everybody would come home from the grocery store and their garage door would immediately go down.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I would just remember looking out the window, like, where are my friends?
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: Which is very, very challenging to find other people to connect with.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: So it felt really isolating.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: And it definitely took time.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Now, fast forward, you know, it took me a few years.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: Now I feel like I have the best friends that I have had in my life.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: But one of the biggest things that I do now inside of my business and just me as a person is really helping people make those connections, like helping them feel that sense of belonging.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: And all of this reminds me to share that community doesn't just happen.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: You have to be intentional with it.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: You have to realize that it does take work, right?
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: But once you experience how powerful it is and you realize how essential it is to your overall well-being, it's so worth it.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's today why it's such a huge part of my life, my business centered around connection, helping other women meet each other, supporting them in building routines together, creating spaces where women feel seen and supported and like they truly belong.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why I'm sharing all of this with you today, because accountability and support aren't just nice extras when it comes to health and fitness.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: I truly believe they're the missing piece of the puzzle.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: We were never meant to do this life alone.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: And we're definitely never meant to navigate midlife, our health and our bodies and our habits and our energy on our own.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: When you feel like you belong, you show up differently.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: When you feel like you're supported, you don't disappear the moment things get hard.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: When you are connected, consistency stops feeling like a personal battle.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: When you have a place to show up and say, hey, I'm really struggling.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: And then you see that other people are struggling too with some of the same things that you are, it's like, oh, okay, I'm not alone.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: This is hard for other people too.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: And then support doesn't just help you reach your goals, it helps you stay in the game.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why I believe when it comes to lasting change in midlife, accountability and community are not optional, they are foundational.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: Some women, I think, feel like being part of a group will feel competitive.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: But I want to tell you that that is exactly the opposite of my experience.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: When you start to see women just like you in the same season of life having similar struggles with their time and their energy and their stress and their consistency.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: And when you all show up imperfectly together, then you don't feel intimidated.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: You feel encouraged.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: If she can do it, maybe I can too.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: Community, in my experience, does not create competition.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: It creates powerful proof that other women are struggling and they're showing up and they're putting one foot in front of the other and they're prioritizing their habits just like you, sometimes imperfectly.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: Often going alone looks like this restarting every Monday, quietly quitting when life gets busy, assuming that the problem is you, shaming yourself for not being further along than you are, wishing it could just be easier for you, looking at other people and comparing yourself to them, like, oh, they've got it all together.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: They must just be magic, or they don't have as busy of a life as me.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: But when you have support and you realize that nobody has it all together and that we're all dealing with the same things, then you start to realize that you could ingest instead of quit.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: And you can borrow my belief or other people's belief in you on the hard days.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: I really encourage you to find support.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: Support doesn't remove the struggle, but it does remove the shame.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: Shame is one of the biggest habit killers there is, especially in midlife.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: We do not have unlimited capacity.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: We are carrying so much mentally, emotionally, logistically, and yet this is the season where I see so many women trying to white knuckle change alone.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so I'm gonna bring this back to a real life behind the scenes for a moment.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: Because community, connection, accountability, support, this isn't just a theory.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: It is something that I actually see play out in my life and in my business every day.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: So inside FitZone, my live virtual strength training community, women show up together on Zoom from all different parts of the world.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: And there is something so incredible about that.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: You see other women working hard, making themselves a priority.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: We all keep that commitment to show up for ourselves.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: But in showing up for ourselves, we are showing up for the group.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: And when we see other women prioritizing their health, keeping their commitments to themselves, keeping up with their routine and their habits, that is reinforcing to our brain.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: If she can do it, so can I.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: We have women like Malka and Jan, both in their 70s, showing up with this incredible infectious energy and spunk.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, they inspire everybody else in the group.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: We have women who are dealing with injuries and chronic pain and limitations, but they're still there.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: They're modifying, they're listening to their bodies, but they're staying connected.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: No one is trying to prove anything or perform, but there is this sense of community that becomes the glue that holds us all together.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I look forward to seeing my familiar faces most mornings of the week.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then I see the same thing happening inside the Midlife Glow Up, my eight-week group coaching program.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: Every single week, this program I run twice a year.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: So right now we're we don't have a current program.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: But every week during those eight weeks together, we hop on Zoom and we talk about what's going well, we talk about what's hard, we talk about the habits that are sticking and the ones that feel like they're hard to establish.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: And time and time again, women tell me that those weekly calls are their favorite part of the entire program.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: They look forward to them all week because they feel connected, inspired by the other women in that same season, and they feel safe talking about their struggles without judgment.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: There's no pressure to be perfect or shame for not having it all together.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, we normalize not having it all together and imperfection.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: We're just real women showing up, supporting each other, and moving forward together.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the piece that I don't ever want you to underestimate.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: Because accountability and support aren't just extras.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: They're actually the glue that makes consistency possible.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: They're the reason that you don't disappear when things start to get hard, and the reason that habits start to feel normal instead of forced.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: And that is exactly what I've built into your midlife reset, the 21-day habit challenge for women 40 plus who are ready to take back control of their health in 2026 so you can have more energy, stronger routines, and simple habits to stick to.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's your perfect kickstart to the new year, kicking it off with confidence.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: And the best part is you don't have to do it alone.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: You get a step-by-step plan, the support of a community and other women in similar stage of life, and a coach in your corner who truly cares.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's me, and I promise I do.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: This challenge is designed not to give you more information, because honestly, you don't need that, not to overhaul your whole life, because that is never going to work, but to give you the missing piece, the support, the accountability, the structure, the community.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: Inside the challenge, you are not doing anything alone.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: You're surrounded by women, and healthy habits become normal.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: Consistency feels doable.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: And you stop asking, why can't I stick with this?
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: And you start proving to yourself that you can.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: We start the challenge Monday, January 12th.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: I am so genuinely excited about this challenge.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: I honestly can't believe I'm offering it for$21.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: But that price was intentional.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted it to be accessible.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I wanted for those of you who are overthinking whether your health is worth investing in, that this is just a no-brainer.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: This program will likely never be this low of an investment again.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're on the fence, if you've been telling yourself it's time, if you're tired of restarting all the time, this is your moment to choose support.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: The link is in the show notes, and I would absolutely love to walk through this journey with you.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: I hope to see you inside the challenge.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: And whether you join the challenge or not, I want you to take this with you.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: You are never meant to do this life alone.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: Not your health, not your habits, and especially not in this season of life.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: Consistency is not about trying harder in isolation.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's about being supported when life is messy and unpredictable.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: When you are connected to other women who are showing up, adjusting their plan, moving forward imperfectly, your goals stop feeling unachievable and they start to feel possible.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: Community is what turns intention into action.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: Support is what keeps you from quitting.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: And accountability is what helps you stay in the game long enough to see real results.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening, my friend.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: Remember progress over perfection and consistency over intensity.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, keep growing, keep glowing, and bye for now.