Latest / The SmallBizChat with Melinda Emerson / Business Success Mindset with Kirsten Franklin

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Business Success Mindset with Kirsten Franklin · The SmallBizChat with Melinda Emerson

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  Thanks to today's podcast sponsor, Amazon.
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  Amazon knows small businesses have many options when deciding how and where to sell their
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  products.
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  Amazon works hard to be the best partner to help drive their success, like investing over
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  $30,000,000,000 in logistics tools, and programs to foster their growth.
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  Because when small businesses thrive, customers benefit from the products and services they
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  offer.
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  You're bringing it.
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  You're responsible for it.
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  You're either responsible for attracting it, keeping it, or consistently getting that
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  result.
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  People wanna think that there's this happy end result, this destination, this place that
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  they're gonna achieve, and they're gonna have this amazing mindset.
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  No.
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  I mean, you know, we're always working on it.
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  There's always the next level.
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  It's never done.
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  But if you look around, again, at your reality, you don't like something.
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  Something's pissing you off.
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  You don't have great relationships.
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  Your business isn't going where you want it to.
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  Mindset, you, thoughts.
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  Done.
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  Left off.
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  Ending small business failure.
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  Welcome to the Small Biz Chat podcast with a number 1 small business expert, Melinda
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  Emerson.
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  Melinda's goal is to and small business failure, and she'll give you the information
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  you need to succeed and live the life you dream of.
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  Now, here's the small biz lady herself.
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  Melinda Emerson.
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  Hi, everybody.
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  I'm Melinda Emerson's small bus lady.
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  America's number one small business expert And I'm excited to welcome you to the small biz
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  chat podcast I'm very excited about today's show.
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  The mission of the smallbiz chat podcast is to end small business failure.
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  We are
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  a peer to peer interview show
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  that gives small business owners a way to get invaluable business advice.
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  So let me introduce my guest.
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  She is what we call
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  a recovering attorney, turned entrepreneur.
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  Her name is Kirsten Franklin, and she's a life and business coach and founder.
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  And she's also a coach who works with everyone from to professional athletes and small
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  business owners.
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  She's helped over 1000 individuals to Appbit's success.
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  To learn more, log on to kirstenfranklin.com.
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  Kirsten, welcome to the small business chat podcast.
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  Hey, Melinda.
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  Nice to be here.
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  Thank you for having me.
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  Oh, gosh.
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  I'm excited to have this conversation, but first, I wanna know How does one go from being
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  a recovering attorney to deciding to become a business coach?
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  I I gotta hear this story.
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  You know, it was one of those things where passion just met opportunity.
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  So I have been all about psychology listening to Tony Robbins since, like, the nineties, and
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  it was just my passion and, to, you know, really understand self development, psychology,
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  behavioral science.
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  And I took that into my practice as a lawyer, right, really kinda understanding what are
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  people saying when they're not really saying it.
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  How can I understand where they're coming from so I can understand what they're trying to
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  convey, right, in depositions and trials?
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  And when I left the of law and opened up a legal recruiting company where I was working
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  with law partners, it just merged.
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  Whatever our personal conversations ended up in, it resulted in better marriages.
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  Kids loving their parents again, better business.
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  And I realized, like, wait a second.
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  There's a business opportunity I like it so much more than legal recruiting.
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  I hear that.
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  Well, you know, it's like, you gotta be careful what you wish for.
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  Right?
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  Because you just might get it.
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  Like, you get your dream job and you're like, this ain't it.
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  You know, that's what happened to me.
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  So I get it.
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  Tell me, how can our mindset affect our business success?
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  Well, I'm gonna tell you that your mindset affects everything.
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  If everyone listening just takes a look around at your reality, if there's something you don't
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  like, I guarantee it's because you have a certain mindset that is producing that result.
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  So if you are looking for business success, it's really about the language in your head,
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  your definitions, how you're perceiving the world.
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  It's all of that.
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  So what is the difference between sort of like a growth mindset versus a fixed mindset?
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  Yeah.
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  So great question.
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  You know, Carol DeWec really defined that.
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  And just in simple terms, you know, if you wanna think of fixed mindset is, like, almost
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  like you're genetically coded and say you're only gonna learn up to algebra, but you're
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  never gonna learn trigonomics because it's just not possible.
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  It's fixed.
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  The most you'll ever gonna learn is algebra.
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  That's a fixed mindset.
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  You're never gonna be the business person even if you want to because it's not genetically
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  coded into you.
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  Right?
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  Where growth mindset, it's just anything as as possible full.
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  There's a limitlessness and and you can do whatever you want, and it's just a matter of
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  having your mindset back you up and actually achieving that with your driving consistency.
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  How important though is our skill of being able to reflect in terms of keeping a healthy
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  mindset?
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  It's extremely important.
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  So I, you know, really go through a a 3 step process when it comes to mindset.
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  And the very first thing is awareness.
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  And for in order for you to really develop that awareness in order to effectuate change that
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  you're looking to make, there's a lot of reflection why did I do that?
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  Why did I think that what's going on here?
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  Where was I coming from?
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  And a lot of stepping back, you know, I I hate to sound like I'm sure a lot of people here
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  have heard But a large majority of this is put into you before the age of seven.
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  You know, they say how you're a little stunned, well, you're actually in a semih hypnotic
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  state.
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  What's not fair about that is you have no frame of reference.
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  Right?
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  How do you know if this is good or bad or, you know, a perfect example.
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  Kids of divorced parents they felt that their infiniteness wasn't good enough because they
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  couldn't fix a relationship, but that's a perception based at an age where they think
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  they can fix everything that they're all powerful beings.
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  Right?
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  They don't know yet that these 2 adults have their own issues.
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  Right?
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  But that goes with them for the rest of their lives.
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  And that affects how they see the world and interpret the data from that point forward.
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  Well, how do
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  we know if we have mindset is Right?
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  Is it just like is it like I look at my bank account?
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  And I see my bank account.
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  Is that what I want it to be?
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  So I must have a mindset issue about money.
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  Like, like, literally, is it that or, like, how do I know if I'm the problem?
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  How do I know?
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  We're always the problem.
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  You are the only common denominator in your reality.
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  So if there is something that you don't like, Girl, you're bringing it.
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  You're bringing it.
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  You're responsible for it.
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  You're either responsible for attracting it, keeping it, or consistently getting that
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  result.
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  Period.
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  Done.
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  People wanna think that there's this happy end result, this destination, this place that
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  they're gonna achieve, and they're gonna have this amazing mindset.
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  No.
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  I mean, you know, we're always working on it.
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  There's always the level.
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  It's never done.
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  But if you look around, again, at your reality, you don't like something.
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  Something's pissing you off.
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  You don't have great relationships.
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  Your business isn't going where you want it to.
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  Mindset.
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  You, thoughts.
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  Done.
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  Okay.
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  So all these ding back weirdos and manboys that I keep dating, you're saying that is me.
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  Like, it's not, like, like, hot
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  Yes.
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  Okay, girl.
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  Let's break that down.
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  Let's break that down.
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  Yes.
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  No.
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  Let's not.
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  I just I just wanted to say, like, Yes.
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  It's me.
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  Okay.
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  Alright.
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  But let let's get this back to business.
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  I wanna So how do you say, like, is it important to integrate the word yet when you're
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  trying to change your own mindset?
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  Or, like, how does your vocabulary affect?
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  Because I I know, like, for years, I've heard, you know, we have to watch our self talk.
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  You know, because we are so hard on ourselves.
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  Right?
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  You're so stupid.
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  How could you make that decision?
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  You know, we do all this bad stuff to ourselves.
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  But there how do we make that shift?
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  And and is there words are there power words we need to start using to fix some of that.
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  Yeah.
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  So I love love love this question.
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  So 1st and foremost, your words are absolutely important.
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  Your self talk is everything.
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  And in fact, that's reflective of your mindset, which comes into the being aware.
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  The best part about mindset is I get this all the time.
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  I know what I think.
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  I'm amazing.
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  I like, I'm gonna totally rock this business.
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  And, really, that's funny.
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  You failed fifteen times while you're paying me $50,000 to talk to me.
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  You you obviously know something's up.
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  The reality is is we don't always know what we're saying.
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  And here's the truth.
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  You cannot have an emotion without first having a thought.
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  It's so automated that sometimes we don't know what that thought is.
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  You ever just go through your day at the end of the day.
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  You're like, oh, yeah.
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  Whatever.
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  I'm alright.
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  Kinda don't know why you're feeling law.
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  Well, because the language in your head is causing you to feel that way.
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  So that is why awareness is key, and that is why language is important.
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  And first of all, what you say is an indicative of what you're truly thinking, even if you're
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  saying it in just, okay, just just be aware of that because a lot of times, especially for
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  women, we'll say in that kind of negativity, jokey kind of way, like, I'm such an idiot.
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  I made that left turn again.
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  But what you're really saying is, damn, I made that left turn again.
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  Like, what's wrong with me?
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  But you think you're saying it in this light funny way, but, no, it's indicative of what
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  you're really thinking.
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  So your language matters.
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  And really, basically, you know, if anybody hasn't heard of this, there's the thing called
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  reframing.
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  So if you are aware, of what you're saying, you can write that down and then really think about
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  how you would like to restate that in the positive.
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  Right?
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  And you just can drill that in.
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  I've done this when I was, you know, walking my daughter to school.
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  All you ever wanted to do, be that mom, walk her to school, drop her off, pick her up.
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  Got super, super, like, aggravated at one point.
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  Like, oh my god.
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  I can't believe I have to do this.
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  If I didn't have to walk you to school, I'd be at this meeting.
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  I'd be, like, at the half $1,000,000 deal.
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  Like, what am I doing?
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  Right?
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  All because of the language in my head, but I changed it to, I get to.
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  And I had to shove that down my throat every second.
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  At the a second of crap event.
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  Oh my god.
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  I get to.
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  I get to.
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  And what I really do is feel it.
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  Like, actually, I get to.
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  I'm alive.
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  I have the ability, the money, the time, That deal doesn't really matter in the bigger
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  picture.
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  And I I get to.
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  I get to.
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  All of a sudden, even to this day, that was when my daughter was four years old.
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  My daughter's now thirteen.
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  Morning walks, morning trips to school and back, best time ever.
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  Love it.
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  Love it.
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  I I think that's really, that's really important.
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  So when we think about this, you know, how can we embrace our failures to boost our mindset?
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  Because I do think we have to own failures.
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  Right?
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  We can't pretend like failures didn't happen.
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  Yeah.
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  Yeah.
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  Yeah.
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  So first of all, failure.
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  It's like language.
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  How are you defining that?
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  Why is it so impactful?
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  Why is it so painful?
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  If you're trying to avoid the word failure or feel like a quote failure.
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  Right?
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  It's again a reframing of the mindset that definition, the story that you tell yourself
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  around the word failure.
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  Right?
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  When you reframe that and you're like, no.
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  I failed again.
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  This is awesome.
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  Look what I learned.
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  Right?
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  It's a reframing.
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  You know?
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  And and when you can reframe that, you can really see it for what it is.
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  It's an action that got a result.
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  Did it get the result that you were hoping you would get?
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  No.
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  But what did you learn from it?
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  And move on.
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  Love it.
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  Love it.
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  This is so interesting and impactful.
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  Tell me something What is the best business advice you've ever been given?
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  Oh, man.
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  Don't take things so seriously.
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  Can you imagine Here I am this competitive cheerleader equestrian athlete, you know,
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  building businesses, and I was determine that it was gonna go down this way.
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  It's gonna look this way.
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  It's gonna have this result.
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  I know for a fact if I engage in X Y Z consistently, persistently, I'm gonna get this
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  result.
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  And when it didn't happen, the failure, I had a mentor that was like, no, dude.
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  Let go.
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  Like, it's it's always a SHIT show.
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  It's never gonna be what you think it is.
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  Let go of it.
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  Relax.
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  You know, yes, you still have to be consistent.
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  Yes, you still have to be driven, but don't hold so tight on the result you have to get,
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  right, be a little bit more fluid, let go.
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  Well, and I think that's indicative of entrepreneurship anyway.
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  Like, you gotta be flexible.
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  You can't come up with your idea for your customers because both of those things can
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  lead.
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  Right?
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  So you gotta make sure that Data.
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  Grow with the punches, and you're supposed to grow.
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  Right?
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  You have to grow yourself to grow your business.
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  Kirsten, thank you so much for being here.
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  That is so, so helpful.
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  Alright, Kirsten.
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  What's your favorite podcast?
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  Life on Fire podcast.
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  That's a good one.
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  That's a very good one.
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  Alright.
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  Kirsten, what's your favorite business at?
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  Alright.
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  I'm gonna it's a CRM and it's an app.
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  I'm gonna say HubSpot.
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  HubSpot, the whole suite marketing and everything.
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  Alright.
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  Alright.
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  Favorite old school marketing tip.
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  I don't even know.
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  Okay.
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  Old school marketing tip.
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  Subject lines.
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  How important subject lines are?
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  Subject lines.
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  Very important email marketing.
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  Subject lines.
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  Very
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  important.
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  Kirsten, what's your favorite business book?
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  Alright.
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  You guys are gonna hate me since I play in a little bit of a more founder space, but this
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  book called deal terms.
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  By Alex something.
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  You got I don't know if you know how willdormig willd or something like that, but, if you need
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  to know the basics of notes, negotiations, venture Capital Angel, you know, all that, deal
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  terms is a is a good one.
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  Alright, everybody.
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  Thank you so much for joining me.
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  The mission of the Small Bishop podcast is to end small business failure.
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  And I wanna leave you with this.
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  You never lose in business.
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  Either you win or you learn.
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  Happy holidays, everybody.
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  Thank you for listening to the Small Biz Chat podcast with Melinda Emerson.
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  For more resources and small business success strategies, visit succeed as your own boss.com.
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  Subscribe to this podcast wherever you listen to podcasts and join us next Wednesday.