Latest / Pod Therapy / #368: Quitting Family Company, Rejecting Older Man, Accepting Averageness

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#368: Quitting Family Company, Rejecting Older Man, Accepting Averageness · Pod Therapy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I guess them. You should always assume that it's uh, that's.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: Always just go to the emergency every day. Well, first
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: you should kick each other in the in the genitals.
• 0:12
  Speaker 3: I'll get rid of that.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: And if that doesn't do it.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: I heard that and that if that doesn't do it,
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: then you should go to the hospitals.
• 0:20
  Speaker 4: I have good medical advice, the supply list of safety ship.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: I have a lot more of these. This episode has
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: made it possible by our Featy the dark Lord himself,
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Jim's Fausca, and our therapy partners Dirty Be and tickets
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: from Fabulous Las Vegas to Mata. This is pod therapy,
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: Real people, real problems and real therapists. Your questions email
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: us at pot therapy guys at gmail dot com. Man
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: now broadcasting from the Churn, and that's Jim. That's why
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: I nick it's time for supplyt therapy. Well, hello, everybody,
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: welcome back.
• 0:56
  Speaker 5: It is an exciting new episode taped in the past
• 1:00
  Speaker 5: because Jim's on a camp out.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: They're all tapes in the past. Oh well okay, yeah,
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: relative I'm actually recorded. Yeah yeah, so I also have
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: deck over here. Yeah, they're they're.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: Always reel back here. We're going to town. Yeah, recording
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: this into a wax cylinder.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: That's how we throw back.
• 1:25
  Speaker 5: I have I dining tablets in case of radiation, in
• 1:28
  Speaker 5: case there's a nuclear attack.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: So you need those. What are you going to do
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: with those? You eat them? I think?
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: I'll read the package. I'll read the package.
• 1:37
  Speaker 5: People using iodine something about water, you can do that too.
• 1:41
  Speaker 5: So this is Mine's not for that. Mine's for radiation.
• 1:43
  Speaker 5: This is the you're spoken for for a different purpose.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: This is how Jim works, how he operates for emergency situations. Yeah. Uh,
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: he will not do anything one hundred percent. He does
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: like eight So what that means enough to be annoying? Yeah? No,
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: he buys it, he stores it, he is ready. Will
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: you read the instructions how to use it? No, He's
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: gonna wait until the emergency the figure it out.
• 2:11
  Speaker 6: I have a book.
• 2:12
  Speaker 5: I have a book about how to survive the apocalypseeah,
• 2:14
  Speaker 5: which is safely stowed away in my apocalypse gear.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: And I'll read it when it's necessary. I'm not going
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: to fuck around with it now. I have a crank
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: flashlight and I'll use that to read the book.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: Will be fine, a crank flashlight. You have this book,
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: you have some iodine tablet. I have to mister Blocks.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: So for everyone who is on the Patreon, this is
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: uh Jim's emergency preparedness kiss.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: You have a mister Block.
• 2:44
  Speaker 5: Mister Blob is a giant fucking bag that comes in
• 2:46
  Speaker 5: a box. It's a very small box, and then you
• 2:49
  Speaker 5: whenever you find out that there's an emergency, you run
• 2:51
  Speaker 5: up and you slap it onto your bathtub and then
• 2:54
  Speaker 5: you crank the bathtub and it fills up the whole bathtub,
• 2:57
  Speaker 5: and then you tie it off and then it's got
• 2:59
  Speaker 5: a little valve on it that you can squirt water
• 3:02
  Speaker 5: out of this giant blob of water that you've saved
• 3:04
  Speaker 5: up of clean water as needed.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: Of course, the other thing you can do is just
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: stop up the bathtub. Yeah, and fill up the bathtub.
• 3:11
  Speaker 5: But that doesn't have a valve. Got to have that
• 3:14
  Speaker 5: mister Blob valve. It's pretty cool.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: So I like that.
• 3:18
  Speaker 6: I have.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: I have so because we used to, because we used
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: to do that for hurricanes. You fill up the bathtub,
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: yeah and uh but yeah, you just go over with
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: like a picture and dunk the picture in there and
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: then you had a picture of water.
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: Well, this one very innovative out of all the things
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: that we mentioned earlier. I thought, well, blankets exist, and
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: you know.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: Like you're literally putting a water storage device into a
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: water storage device.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: It really is. I don't know. I'm on gym side
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: on this one, because the valve is useful. Not the valve.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: I'm not drinking out of my bathtub.
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: Not a problem, I don't think.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: I feel like this is just an extra incentive to
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: keep your bathtubs clean.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: Are you dirty? Motherfucker? You don't want to ring.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: Around the tub.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: There's no getting that time I inherited that. That's true,
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: all right, maybe mister.
• 4:15
  Speaker 5: Yeah, very cheap, move on that one of those, two
• 4:19
  Speaker 5: of them, Yeah, they're great and two bathtubs?
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: Yes, okay.
• 4:23
  Speaker 5: And then do you remember when Putin invaded Ukraine a
• 4:26
  Speaker 5: while back?
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: I think that's still I remember that.
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 4:29
  Speaker 5: I was really scared, scared of nuclear war, and so
• 4:31
  Speaker 5: I bought a lead lined dentist jacket that you used
• 4:35
  Speaker 5: to get X rays.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: For what in case there's a nuke? Yes, but what
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: about your head?
• 4:42
  Speaker 5: What you could like, what what are you gonna do
• 4:46
  Speaker 5: with this thing?
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: Like a helmet or something? As are nicely safe, like
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: the Organs. I bought it the same day I bought the.
• 4:55
  Speaker 6: Iodron tablet children.
• 4:58
  Speaker 5: And I also have a radioactive detective thing. I have
• 5:00
  Speaker 5: a thing that detects how much radiation is happening. There's
• 5:04
  Speaker 5: only one time, so you have to be pretty sure
• 5:06
  Speaker 5: that there's radiation.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: It's always good to know how you are.
• 5:10
  Speaker 5: I only have one of them, and it's a one
• 5:11
  Speaker 5: time used, so you have to be pretty sure that
• 5:14
  Speaker 5: there's radiation.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: And then want to know.
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: Do you have like a water filtration like little.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: Tons of those?
• 5:21
  Speaker 5: Yeah, the straws and testing strips and oh yeah, I
• 5:25
  Speaker 5: got you get radiation detector that's reusable.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: Oh that's a good idea. A hundred bucks on Amazon.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: That's a lot. See.
• 5:32
  Speaker 7: I don't like to spend too much, except for that
• 5:34
  Speaker 7: trade jacket. I spent some money on that. We we
• 5:37
  Speaker 7: completely forgot to come back to this. You're going, uh,
• 5:41
  Speaker 7: you're going scouting? Yeah, Death Valley for how many days?
• 5:46
  Speaker 5: This is a long weekend, so this is a two
• 5:48
  Speaker 5: three days. You probably need the lead vest. Not wrong,
• 5:52
  Speaker 5: you carry that everybody. I had to go through a
• 5:57
  Speaker 5: manufacturer to get the ship, like they don't just sell
• 5:59
  Speaker 5: those would Jim pretend to all the gallons of water
• 6:02
  Speaker 5: on the other hike?
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: Saved everybody's fucking life, That's what happened, and returned with
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: how many gallons of water?
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: Zero? We drink them all? He used all the water.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: We need to do our usual bat amongst the three
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: of us. On what day he's going to be drinking
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: his eerin?
• 6:17
  Speaker 5: Oh yeah, oh yeah, well you can't count on the
• 6:20
  Speaker 5: way up there, right?
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: Zero?
• 6:24
  Speaker 5: And I'll have a mcdouble and uh you know what.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: The drink with that? Good? Yeah, I'll take a m
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: piss please, thank you? Can we restart the show?
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: Probably healthier than whatever they have McDonald's anyway?
• 6:41
  Speaker 5: Probably probably anyway, Welcome back to another exciting episode of
• 6:45
  Speaker 5: pod Therapy. We've got some lovely questions as we are
• 6:48
  Speaker 5: all collectively watching the Vikings lose as well a few weeks.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: Because I'm not a Vikings fans you all when you
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: died inside? Yeah exactly recently. It's not a Vikings many
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: ways to get through anyway.
• 7:08
  Speaker 5: First question leading off the order today is in my
• 7:13
  Speaker 5: mouth of God leaving the family company. Hi friends, I'm
• 7:17
  Speaker 5: a thirty two year old and I'm currently the co
• 7:20
  Speaker 5: owner of a construction business with my father. When I
• 7:23
  Speaker 5: moved back home after college, this job was supposed to
• 7:26
  Speaker 5: be temporary, but here we are nine years later. I
• 7:30
  Speaker 5: now handle all the accounting, payroll, HR and estimate eighty
• 7:35
  Speaker 5: percent of our new projects. My dad has told me
• 7:37
  Speaker 5: for the past two years that we would keep the
• 7:39
  Speaker 5: company running as long as it is what I wanted.
• 7:43
  Speaker 5: He's at retirement age, so it made sense. My mom
• 7:46
  Speaker 5: has always said she didn't think I was completely happy
• 7:48
  Speaker 5: working here, and that I should do what makes me happy.
• 7:51
  Speaker 5: A couple of months ago, my girlfriend and I started
• 7:53
  Speaker 5: talking about moving across the country and have made the
• 7:56
  Speaker 5: decision that, barring any major changes, we will be moving
• 8:00
  Speaker 5: in October. When I told her, or when I told
• 8:02
  Speaker 5: my dad this and that I might want to sell
• 8:05
  Speaker 5: or close the company, he said he needed time to
• 8:07
  Speaker 5: think on it. Next time I saw him, he said
• 8:10
  Speaker 5: there's no way he's doing either, as he and my
• 8:13
  Speaker 5: mom need the income and insurance. My mom said that yes,
• 8:17
  Speaker 5: she did want me to do what would make me happy,
• 8:19
  Speaker 5: she just never thought it meant moving away, and now
• 8:22
  Speaker 5: she's upset. I've been in therapy long enough to know
• 8:25
  Speaker 5: that I can't take their emotions on and that I
• 8:28
  Speaker 5: need to do what's best for me. The bigger issue
• 8:31
  Speaker 5: is that with me leaving, I don't see how my
• 8:33
  Speaker 5: dad can continue to run the company on his own.
• 8:36
  Speaker 5: I've spent the last several years digitizing much of our
• 8:38
  Speaker 5: work in processes and setting up auto pay and e
• 8:41
  Speaker 5: statements for bills. He's not great at computers and struggles
• 8:45
  Speaker 5: on a daily basis. He would also have to learn
• 8:47
  Speaker 5: a new accounting system than what he used used to use,
• 8:51
  Speaker 5: and refuses to hire an accountant as he's worried they
• 8:54
  Speaker 5: will steal money from him. I worry that if I
• 8:56
  Speaker 5: move and the company doesn't succeed, I'll put all the
• 9:00
  Speaker 5: blame on myself. He insists that he will get by
• 9:04
  Speaker 5: just fine without me after some initial hardships, but I'm
• 9:06
  Speaker 5: still concerned. I have the option of working remote, but
• 9:09
  Speaker 5: I'm not entirely sure that's what I want. I feel
• 9:12
  Speaker 5: like I'm just leaving my parents high and dry for
• 9:15
  Speaker 5: choosing to leave after everything they've done for me. I'm
• 9:18
  Speaker 5: finding it very hard to justify my wanting to leave
• 9:21
  Speaker 5: when it could mean they might struggle for years. It's
• 9:24
  Speaker 5: a little rambly, but I hope this all makes sense.
• 9:27
  Speaker 5: Thanks for any help you can offer, anonymous.
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: Oh, that's tough.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a really tough situation.
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: It sounds like you really care about your parents and
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: their wellbeing and.
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: You gotta find a buyer that'll keep them on and
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: keep their insurance. Yeah, keep them on is like in
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: like an advisory capacity or something.
• 9:45
  Speaker 5: Sometimes you can sell to like, you know, a younger
• 9:47
  Speaker 5: up and coming kind of person, and then part of
• 9:50
  Speaker 5: the deal is like you pay him out over time
• 9:53
  Speaker 5: so you don't have to come in with one lump sum.
• 9:55
  Speaker 5: You can buy out the company and pay out the
• 9:57
  Speaker 5: owners over ten years or something like that. But then
• 9:59
  Speaker 5: there's a lot of real such of the owners if
• 10:00
  Speaker 5: this person doesn't succeed.
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: All right, Well, I hope that answer your question.
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: Luck great.
• 10:05
  Speaker 5: Yeah, ruin your parents?
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: I know van guilt around feeling like you're leaving your
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: parents high and dry. Do y'all have I mean, just
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: thoughts on that. I think that's so common. I was
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: actually just talking to a friend friends who are staying
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: with us this week about them having a struggle in
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: their romantic relationship because their parents. They're an only child
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: and their parents, which is even harder if you're an
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: only child and one of his parents is in like
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: cognitive decline. So then yeah, the wife's like, oh, you're
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: putting them before me. You know, like there's a lot
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: to it when it's like when you're pulled a lot
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: of different ways, like the writers pulled between my girlfriend
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: and I. We want to start maybe this new life
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: somewhere else and see what's out there. I've spent nine
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: years longer than I thought. How do I start?
• 10:53
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that's really rough, because like nobody's bad in this situation,
• 10:56
  Speaker 5: Like your parents built something, it generates money.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: You should ever see are entitled, Like everyone's entitled those feelings.
• 11:02
  Speaker 6: And everybody's friend.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: She kind of sounds like a bitch. I'm not on
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: her team on this, not at all selfish. Really, thanks
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: for writing in and thanks for being a listener writer therapy.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: This is uh. I see this a lot in the Midwest,
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: you know. Like my good friend of mine, he his
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: dad had a century farm. So that's a farm that's
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: been in the family for over one hundred years. Wow,
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: And they're very rare amore and.
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: Big, bigger farm farm companies come in and buy out, like.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: I mean, and that's Yeah, that's kind of how it
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: is in the Midwest now. It's like you can't if
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: you want to get into farming, and you can't do
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: it because it's all corporately owned, which is my theory.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: What's going to be happening with homes. Yes, homes are
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: going to become corporately owned and we're going to have
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: to pay company store. That's what's happening here in Nevada. Man.
• 12:04
  Speaker 5: Five percent of all the housing inventories now owned by
• 12:06
  Speaker 5: venture capital companies.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: They're just renting it like it's a problem. And then
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: they're controlling the value, right because you think, oh, well
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: then you.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: Control twenty percent of the market, you now kit at
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: the price, you are a monopoly at that point. I mean,
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: try to pass laws and deal with that. Yeah, it's
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: a it's a big problem here. It's happy to.
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: Do with this writer. Thanks for writing in. But yeah,
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: I mean, like, so my friend was in this situation.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: Like his parents they just always assumed like he was
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: the only son, you'll take it, and they just assumed, well,
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: he's going to take over the farm, right and this
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: will be his years. Yeah, and then we stay, we
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: keep it in the farm and like it was a
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: difficult conversation where he had to like, hey, look, I'm
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: not a farmer. I can think of no more disappointing thing.
• 12:46
  Speaker 5: Iowa family, like your son can go to be like
• 12:50
  Speaker 5: I am absolutely gay, but I want a farm.
• 12:53
  Speaker 6: Great, I love you. It's possible.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: But Nick still has Yeah.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: And your roommate and work the farm together, and you
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: can burn crosses in the yard. We don't care. But
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: you work the fucking barm. Yeah, what do you think
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: gay people do? Jim I said he's a gay atheist.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: You were talking. You didn't hear the rest of my bit.
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: Well, he's a gaytheist.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: Dude, burn crosses. There is a group crosses. It's not
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: either of them. I'm just saying the Iowa farmers.
• 13:23
  Speaker 5: But no, it's tough whenever you have like that destiny
• 13:26
  Speaker 5: Thix felt for you, and then you know I get it.
• 13:29
  Speaker 5: I mean, so my family had like a little family
• 13:31
  Speaker 5: business is a retail shop, and they had stores.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: You know, in malls and stuff like that.
• 13:37
  Speaker 5: And when I was a teenager, like there was that
• 13:39
  Speaker 5: angle of like, hey, this thing's doing pretty good, you know,
• 13:43
  Speaker 5: like would you want to like have this? But it's
• 13:45
  Speaker 5: like you guys aren't ninety, you know, like you're not
• 13:47
  Speaker 5: gonna hand this to me when I'm twenty, Like I'm
• 13:49
  Speaker 5: gonna end up just working this place, kind of like
• 13:52
  Speaker 5: the writer, and like maybe that is unsatisfying and maybe
• 13:55
  Speaker 5: I want to try a different trade and find a profession.
• 13:57
  Speaker 5: And I remember feeling itchy about that and then like
• 14:00
  Speaker 5: feeling that sense of like I don't want to let
• 14:02
  Speaker 5: you guys down. But it's also tough, writer, because look,
• 14:05
  Speaker 5: they are responsible for their own retirement. Yes, Like if
• 14:09
  Speaker 5: your dad was just a CPA and he's like out,
• 14:12
  Speaker 5: he's getting to the end of his time of years
• 14:13
  Speaker 5: that he can work, then what is his plan?
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's it. They have to have some kind of plans.
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: I see sometimes with older people too, they'll be like, well,
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: I can't sell the business because then it's not enough
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: an insurance. And sometimes I think they jump to that,
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: but that's not really true. Now in today's economy, it
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: might be true because it's tough out there, but yeah,
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: just relatives of mine, like aunt's uncles, whatever, they're like,
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: I can't retire on whatever. But if you actually look
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: at their finances, it's kind of like an internal fear
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: that's not actually accurate, like you actually probably could. And
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: I'm not saying that's the case here, but I'm saying
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: maybe if your parents will take a look at some
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: of that more in depth with you, or maybe you
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: already have with them, take some time to kind of explore, yeah,
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: and push them to share with you, like, hey, what
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: is your financial situation? I think that's great for parents
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: to do anyway with adult kids if they're nearing retirement age,
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: just because if you're expected to help, not help them,
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: but you know, figure out their finances and things in retirement,
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: that's kind of an important topic to discuss. Yeah, But
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: adding this business aspect and you helping or not helping,
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: I think that would be important to know for you
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: to make your decision as well, because if they really
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: do spiral into the drain, like what does the retirement
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: look like? I don't know. Is that living with you?
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: Then?
• 15:32
  Speaker 5: Well, And that sounds like Dad is prepared to like
• 15:36
  Speaker 5: resume the job because son, the writer doesn't do the
• 15:40
  Speaker 5: actual construction. Sun just operates right, it's doing the hrs
• 15:44
  Speaker 5: and the admin that the money. And I look at
• 15:47
  Speaker 5: that writer and I think, okay, you can do some
• 15:49
  Speaker 5: of that remotely, but you mentioned, I don't want to
• 15:50
  Speaker 5: do that forever. I wonder if there's a weaning down
• 15:54
  Speaker 5: solution here where writer gets to go ahead and follow
• 15:57
  Speaker 5: his heart, go where he needs to go with his
• 15:59
  Speaker 5: you know, old friend who I think we all disapprove of.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: But you know, that's a different thing. Speaking of wean
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: and downs, I'll just be over here.
• 16:12
  Speaker 6: You get a medello in.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: Them and you don't know where is Jacob.
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: He's on fire.
• 16:20
  Speaker 5: But no, like I can see a solution where you
• 16:23
  Speaker 5: get to travel and then you remote operate some of
• 16:26
  Speaker 5: these things. And maybe you can do that for a
• 16:29
  Speaker 5: while because you're going to be trying to find your
• 16:30
  Speaker 5: own gig and like keep some money flowing in. So
• 16:33
  Speaker 5: maybe we do that and we have like a one
• 16:35
  Speaker 5: year or six month timeline where we go, Okay, Dad,
• 16:37
  Speaker 5: I'm going to take control of this, and one by one,
• 16:41
  Speaker 5: I'm going to remote teach you the easiest component, right
• 16:44
  Speaker 5: Like first we're going to learn how to answer email,
• 16:46
  Speaker 5: you know, and then second I'm going to teach you
• 16:48
  Speaker 5: how I send bids on jobs or bill people. Here's
• 16:51
  Speaker 5: how I invoice people to pay their bills or whatever.
• 16:53
  Speaker 5: And like, ultimately, I think everything is learnable. You know,
• 16:57
  Speaker 5: even if you're a person that's like, you know, not
• 16:59
  Speaker 5: in touch with the technology, everything can be learned. And honestly,
• 17:03
  Speaker 5: if there's money in the bank to pay you, there's
• 17:06
  Speaker 5: money in the bank to pay an administrative assistant. Like
• 17:08
  Speaker 5: if dad's afraid that like a CPA will like rob
• 17:12
  Speaker 5: him or a bookkeeper, fine, make that one job yours
• 17:16
  Speaker 5: and then give everything else to like an office assistant.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: That check all people that could be hired.
• 17:21
  Speaker 5: Yeah, all the other administratives have be hired, and you
• 17:24
  Speaker 5: could remote supervise that person for me.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: I mean. But here's the other thing too, though the
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: writer may not want to do that, and like this
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: is the thing where it's like it sucks, because, yeah,
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: what is the writer's obligation to continue to do this.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: If this were any other job, he could put in
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: his notice and he could just say I'm done and
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: you can move on good, you know, And it's it's
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: kind of an unfair situation that like, you have to
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: do this and you have to and if you don't,
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: then you're going to feel guilty about it. Like it's
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: kind of an unfair situation that the writer is stuck
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: in and you know, but then on the other hand too,
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: you know, it's it's from the day dad's perspective. He's
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: probably thinking, like, yo, you completely kicked my plans in
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: the dick, you know, like we had we had this
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: all worked out. Yeah, and then and part of that,
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: you know is probably it might be mom and Dad's
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: fault for just assuming that this is what's going to happen, right,
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: But they were obviously under this assumption for a long time.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: Here's the good news is it sounds like they're they accept.
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: It was okay.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: They're coming around to it, and I try to reassure them, Yeah,
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: that's that's definitely reassuring because that means we're not going
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: to destroy the relationship. They're just having a difficult time
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: accepting this, and I think from the writer's perspective, you're
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: just going to have to be patient with them. But
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: I also I always also empathize with the writer, like,
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: you know, if you don't want to be in that
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: industry and this isn't what you want to do, and
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: you want to move on with your life, Like, why
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: should I have to put my life on hold for
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: another five years because of this situation that I'm in?
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: You know, when I could jump out and I could
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: do the thing that I want to do. I can
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: open the doughnut stand that I've been dreaming about forever,
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: you know, or whatever your dreams are. But you know,
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: like you could do that, yeah, And I don't think
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: you need to feel guilty about that. I think I
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: do agree with Jim in the sense that, like, if
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: the business could afford to pay you, they can afford
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: to pay somebody else, right, And I think maybe.
• 19:20
  Speaker 5: That's the direct there's a way to take a harm
• 19:22
  Speaker 5: reduction approach, because Writer's hang up is I don't want
• 19:25
  Speaker 5: to wound or harm or cause any discomfort for my parents.
• 19:28
  Speaker 5: I don't want to create any opportunity for failure. And
• 19:30
  Speaker 5: I'm scared for them because they you know, I've taken
• 19:33
  Speaker 5: on all this stuff, and I didn't mind doing extra work.
• 19:35
  Speaker 5: I didn't mind solving problems because it was the family business.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 19:38
  Speaker 5: Any pressure I took off of this thing was pressure
• 19:41
  Speaker 5: my parents didn't have to feel. So as you transition
• 19:44
  Speaker 5: it back to them under their control, I think you
• 19:46
  Speaker 5: could absolutely be training somebody and like do a harm
• 19:49
  Speaker 5: reduction approach, wean them down, and then maybe that solves
• 19:53
  Speaker 5: your guilt. And it gives you that like on ramp
• 19:55
  Speaker 5: into the next step of life. Maybe there is a
• 19:58
  Speaker 5: middle ground. But writer, I agree with Nick. I don't
• 20:01
  Speaker 5: want you to feel trapped by this. And sometimes there's
• 20:03
  Speaker 5: this problem of like golden handcuffs with family companies where
• 20:07
  Speaker 5: it's like, look, kid, I spent forty years building something
• 20:10
  Speaker 5: that like grosses a million dollars a year and can
• 20:12
  Speaker 5: pay you six figures, and.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: Like, oh, if that's the case, stay with that job.
• 20:18
  Speaker 5: Well that's I think I've seen a lot of people
• 20:20
  Speaker 5: feel like, that's what this job is.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: That's the case. Don't leave that and become a therapist. No, no, no, no,
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: we don't do that.
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: That's you could do anything. You're like open a donut shopping,
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: Like we become a therapist, but like a.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: Donut shop first, Yeah, definitely don't. It's pretty much the
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: same thing anyway.
• 20:39
  Speaker 5: But no, I've seen situations where there's a family business
• 20:41
  Speaker 5: and the kid will look at this and you know,
• 20:43
  Speaker 5: like I had friends in college that it was like
• 20:46
  Speaker 5: for them to get a degree that would pay them
• 20:49
  Speaker 5: what the family business would pay them as a partial owner,
• 20:52
  Speaker 5: it would they would be in school forever. Right, it
• 20:54
  Speaker 5: was going to be a law degree or something like that,
• 20:56
  Speaker 5: and so they could do really well, and the families
• 20:57
  Speaker 5: like trying to tell them, like, look, you could be
• 20:59
  Speaker 5: you know, get way ahead and at this phase of
• 21:01
  Speaker 5: life and like inherit this and blah blah blah, and
• 21:04
  Speaker 5: then just like put us out to pasture and just
• 21:06
  Speaker 5: make sure that you know, our bills are paid and
• 21:07
  Speaker 5: we don't go on fancy vacations or anything like. We'd
• 21:09
  Speaker 5: be happy that all the money funnels to you and
• 21:11
  Speaker 5: your little kids and all that stuff. And it's tough
• 21:13
  Speaker 5: sometimes because you look at it and go even if
• 21:15
  Speaker 5: I'm not asking this question of what am I passionate about,
• 21:17
  Speaker 5: I'm asked this question of like what is going to
• 21:20
  Speaker 5: be most prosperous for me? And a lot of times
• 21:22
  Speaker 5: a family business is a tempting opportunity. I don't here
• 21:25
  Speaker 5: writer necessarily anguishing over that, but I get it. I
• 21:29
  Speaker 5: think that that's part of it for a lot of people.
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: I was going to say, also, if you do decide
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: to move away and release some of that input on
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: the business, if your dad reverts back to some of
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: his old ways, you kind of need.
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: To let that go, because go back to what he knows.
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: He may go back to doing what he did for
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: paper receipts.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I said.
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: I don't believe with Jim's answer over there was like
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: teaching some people new technology and everything.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: It's just you can't do it.
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: Not gonna happen, Yeah, if they are already into it.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: But if he didn't want to make that change's.
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well you're there, But I don't know. He's kind
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: of been enabled maybe by his son being there. But
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: I do agree it would be really difficult, and he
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: probably will pull in some old habits that he feels
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: comfortable with, but like that's okay.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: And reinstall that rotary dial phone in the office.
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 22:20
  Speaker 5: Lies, Yeah, and you're right, he might go back to
• 22:24
  Speaker 5: what he knows and run it his way and try
• 22:27
  Speaker 5: to eke another ten years out of that, and then
• 22:29
  Speaker 5: they'll make a plan for transition or sale.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: Like even if he makes us doing that, if he's
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: not paying you and he's doing something like it's probably fine.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: I think we're missing the obvious solution. No, have another sunboard,
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: sabotage the business. Oh, drive it into the ground. A
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: problems problem sailing?
• 22:48
  Speaker 5: You are, like, I need to all of our construction
• 22:52
  Speaker 5: projects explode. It's so weird.
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: There's no more customer.
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: Death, no more lumber, only dynamite.
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: Where the dynamite, we just keep getting suited.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: No oblivion miss so everything in kerosene, oh right, or
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: good luck with this. I mean it is a tough one,
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: but I think we're all in agreement. We're validating.
• 23:15
  Speaker 5: We hope that you will feel the freedom to make
• 23:18
  Speaker 5: this life choice. I also think that a lot of
• 23:20
  Speaker 5: people will feel like it's the road they didn't get
• 23:22
  Speaker 5: to try, right, Like, yeah, it's what was that movie,
• 23:25
  Speaker 5: It's a Wonderful life where he, you know, thought about
• 23:27
  Speaker 5: going to playing football and like living it up and
• 23:28
  Speaker 5: he ends up like just working at the bank and
• 23:30
  Speaker 5: you know, kind of taking on the family business or
• 23:32
  Speaker 5: I think it was fan business, but like that kind
• 23:35
  Speaker 5: of thing.
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: The old building and loan.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, there it is.
• 23:39
  Speaker 5: And so I get that idea of like you've got
• 23:41
  Speaker 5: to try, You've got to live your life.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: Say that again, but in your best Jimmy Stewart, I.
• 23:50
  Speaker 5: Just remember little lines there like mister tangment and I
• 23:52
  Speaker 5: don't have your money. Oh it's in Whitney's house in
• 23:57
  Speaker 5: the fault. I can't just go back there and get it.
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: And this is not how mister Potter.
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that movie was way too long, Like yeah, yeah
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: it was.
• 24:07
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I feel I thought I mapped this last time
• 24:10
  Speaker 5: I watched it, Like Clarence the Angel shows up for
• 24:12
  Speaker 5: thirteen minutes of that whole fucking movie and.
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: It's like a five hour movie.
• 24:17
  Speaker 5: I want to say five and a half ish ish,
• 24:20
  Speaker 5: it's right there, give or take. Yeah, anyway, this is
• 24:23
  Speaker 5: basically it's a wonderful life, writer, and I feel like
• 24:25
  Speaker 5: you will be happier if you go play pro football
• 24:28
  Speaker 5: and live your dream.
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: Just from that, that's what I took away. Dude hated
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: his life.
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: Georgia great Georgie.
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I just writer. I think you know, I know
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: you're gonna have a little bit of guilt over this,
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: and I think that's inevitable you're going to experience that,
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: but you don't have to. Yeah. If if I'm the
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: only one that says this, and this is the only
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: person that you hear this from, I give you permission
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: to not feel guilty about wanting to move forward with
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: your life into something different. Just be patient with h
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: with your parents, and say hi to that lovely girlfriend
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: of yours. She is wonderful and amazing, even though Jim
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: hates the world. I'm not sure. I'm just saying, could
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: you do better? Writer? Ask yourself?
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: Yolo, you only live one if the.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: Business, leave the bitch, start your own life.
• 25:17
  Speaker 5: We're going to take a quick break. And when we
• 25:19
  Speaker 5: think I'm just projecting, I think, so.
• 25:24
  Speaker 6: Live on the beach.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: This is exactly what I think has because like this
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: is anytime anybody writes in like should I follow my
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: dreams or following the money? The three of you are.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: I was like, follow your dreams, and like follow the
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: fucking money.
• 25:39
  Speaker 5: Is like talking about the Las Vegas housing market. For
• 25:42
  Speaker 5: some reason, it seems.
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: To come up with every you have the money, you
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: wouldn't have to worry about that house.
• 25:48
  Speaker 5: All right, we are going to take a quick break,
• 25:50
  Speaker 5: and when we come back, we're talking about am I
• 25:52
  Speaker 5: the asshole for rejecting an older man?
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: Yes, you're listening to pod there now. Today is episode
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: is brought to you by Judy Schneider Leon Carolyn Albert
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: nailed it. Yeah, it turns out I'm pretty sure I've
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: been pronouncing that wrong for eight years.
• 26:12
  Speaker 6: In person twice.
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: Whatever, Carolyn Albert, Sammy Scoop, Sarah Smith, Mike Helm, Darren Cunningham,
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: Matt and Lisa Tanagement. I know I'm pronouncing that one right,
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: And Cody the Dolorean guy, if you would like to
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: just fought us to the show, become a therap producer
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: a Patreon dot com slash. All right, we do have
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: more of that Pixar hold on, hold on, hold on
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: one by a lot. However, uh, Emma just put this
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: new one together and I can't resist, So we're gonna,
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: I think we throw the Pixar went away.
• 26:53
  Speaker 5: We may come back to it in a moment of Yeah,
• 26:57
  Speaker 5: we never throw anything away.
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: Therapy isn't a moment of desperation. Famous therapists in pop culture? Oh? Okay,
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: trivia about TV or movie therapists. Well, don't give away
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: all the answers.
• 27:15
  Speaker 5: That's right, Well, who raised don't you give away that?
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: All?
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: Wit? Year up first, what type of doctor is doctor
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: Jennifer Jennifer Melfie who serves as Tony Sopranos therapy?
• 27:32
  Speaker 4: Oh?
• 27:32
  Speaker 5: Yeah, what may I recommend the Sopranos because you have either.
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: Only season one? Okay? Options okay, psychiatrist, psychologist, social worker,
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: or life.
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: Coach psychiatrist, is my guess.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: I think she prescribes. Yeah she does. She writes some xanics.
• 27:58
  Speaker 4: It's like, yeah, Jim, I'll take it.
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: In Disney's Frozen two, o Off humorously pretends to be
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: a therapist. What therapy advice does he jokingly give Anna
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: and elsa God, I need options.
• 28:22
  Speaker 5: Frozen two sucked? Remember so disappointing, terrible movie.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: Okay, you want options, I need options. Let it go.
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: Control your chaos, stop holding back your feelings. I can
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: see you're in pain. Let's address it. Oh.
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: The fact that they didn't dress the snowman up as
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: Sigmund Freud and have him make a joke about the
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: mom is just come up?
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: No better? Yeah, rite a better movieve better, A.
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: Little goatee, tweet jacket with elbow patches.
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: It's for the adults. Yeah yeah.
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: And then you say something about the other person's mother. Bam,
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: you've got a sigm and Freud joke.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: Movie on.
• 29:07
  Speaker 5: I'm gonna go with d the one about something always
• 29:10
  Speaker 5: Dan but never not just whatever.
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: Let's address it. I can see you're in pain. Let's
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: address it. Correct sounded like an thing, all right? Jacob
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: in Big Mouth, which character serves as the anthem anthropomorphic
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: embodiment job of anxiety. I like it when they give
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: him big words.
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: That show is actually pretty good.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: I've never seen it.
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, that's funny.
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: Is that the one with uh it's uh Nick Kroll?
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, yeah, ship, I'm gonna know when you say it,
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: all right, give them to me.
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: The depression Kitty, the shame Wizard, Tito, the anxiety Mosquito
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: or the hormone monster.
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: Oh wait, what was the what was the question again?
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: Which character serves as the anthrop morphic embodiment of anxiety.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: I believe it's the Mosquito. Uh, yeah it is.
• 30:06
  Speaker 8: There's also a depression Kitty characters the second shame wizard Wizard,
• 30:19
  Speaker 8: which TV therapists often greets their patience with, what's your damage?
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: This one's mine? What's your damage? Well? I already have
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: the options in front of me, So Bob Newhart, doctor
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: Sean maguire from Goodwill Hunting. We just talked about Bob
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: Newhart on the last episode. We did Fraser Crane or
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: Sidney Freeman from mash It's got to be Sidney, got it? Yeah,
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: because yeah, I've ruled out the rest of it. Uh,
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: it's Bob Newhart. So what's your damage?
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: Since the last episode, I have not yet started watching
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: The New Heart Show's No you said you would.
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: Jim didn't get any more of his list done.
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: I didn't get any of my list.
• 31:04
  Speaker 5: No integrity the two of us is not believable. I
• 31:07
  Speaker 5: believe that Fraser Crane says I to doctor Fraser Crane,
• 31:11
  Speaker 5: I'm listening.
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: I'm listening.
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: It's a great bit. I like it. If we ever
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: go to a live call in format, I think that's
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: what we should do. Just completely Yes, sure, I'm not
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: above it. It's fine. Who cares like they're going to
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: sue us? Next question? Am I the asshole for rejecting
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: an older man? Hello? Friends, I am a twenty four
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: year old female. Now.
• 31:34
  Speaker 5: I met a thirty seven year old non binary person
• 31:38
  Speaker 5: online and we clicked on so many levels and have
• 31:42
  Speaker 5: been talking in the talking stage for five months now.
• 31:45
  Speaker 5: I know I'm not that young, but I'm at a
• 31:48
  Speaker 5: transitional phase in my life right now. I lived life
• 31:52
  Speaker 5: dealing with undiagnosed ADHD until my late teen years. Due
• 31:56
  Speaker 5: to that, I tend to feel like I'm a bit
• 31:59
  Speaker 5: behind when it comes to being mature and communicating and
• 32:03
  Speaker 5: understanding and even relating to people my age. I'm in
• 32:07
  Speaker 5: my last semester of university, still in my parents' house
• 32:11
  Speaker 5: learning how to drive, just began making progress the house, definitely,
• 32:19
  Speaker 5: and basically I'm just barely starting to figure adulthood out.
• 32:23
  Speaker 5: On the other hand, the person I'm talking to, although
• 32:25
  Speaker 5: not very old, has a stable job, went through dozens
• 32:29
  Speaker 5: of relationships, traveled the world, and lives on their own.
• 32:32
  Speaker 5: Oh and they're famous on social media, so it's not
• 32:36
  Speaker 5: like they are deprived of options. I get that we
• 32:39
  Speaker 5: clicked and everything, but the twelve plus year age gap
• 32:43
  Speaker 5: and the difference in our lives and maturity levels creeps
• 32:46
  Speaker 5: me out. I don't understand why they would be attracted
• 32:49
  Speaker 5: to me when I'm obviously naive and easily impressionable for
• 32:54
  Speaker 5: someone their age. Am I weird in refusing to grow
• 32:58
  Speaker 5: up for thinking that? Or is it actually a bit unsettling?
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: Ps?
• 33:04
  Speaker 5: English is not my first language. Sorry if some parts
• 33:06
  Speaker 5: sounded weird. Anonymous, No, you nailed it.
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, very good.
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: I don't think it's either of those things. I don't
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: think it's bad to that you don't want to date
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: this person, but I don't find it unsettling either.
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: Well, here's the thing, A couple of things. I was
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: going to say, you're not the asshole. But if you
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: say thirty seven is old, then yes, yes, very old.
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: But the writer does clarify although not very old. So
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: thank you, thank you. We all appreciate that very much.
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: Not me. I'm very young, clearly. Yeah, here's the thing. No,
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: I think you're if if you are saying that you
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: want to end this relationship or not pursue, I guess
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: that maybe that's a better way to say. If you
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: want to not pursue this relationship because you don't understand
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: why he's attracted to you, and I think there's some
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: other issues, you know, I think maybe we need to
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: have some maybe a talk about self esteem and get
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: to a point where you can kind of feel better
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: about yourself and realize that you, yeah, I mean he's
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: attracted to something.
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: You must be a catch.
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know. Now, if you want to not pursue
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: this because you feel like that's too big of an
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: age gap, I don't think that makes you an asshole either. Yeah,
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: I think that's perfectly fine, you know, And obviously it's unfortunate.
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: We can't control how old we are. But like, if
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: that's a deal for you, then that's a deal.
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: But also like if she was feeling this so much,
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: but there was a level of feeling that the writer
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: could have that the age just wouldn't matter.
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, right, and you wouldn't be asking this question. Yeah.
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: The fact that you're asking this question kind of points
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: us in the direction of, like, yeah, maybe you're not
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: all that interested in pursuing this relationship.
• 34:50
  Speaker 5: Writer's emotional age might be younger than twenty four because
• 34:53
  Speaker 5: writer's sort of saying like, yeah, I get it, I'm
• 34:55
  Speaker 5: in my mid twenties. I don't feel like I am.
• 34:58
  Speaker 5: I'm learning how to drive, right, Like I'm just starting
• 35:01
  Speaker 5: to get the hang of adulthood. Meanwhile, this person that's
• 35:04
  Speaker 5: interested in me has traveled the world?
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: Is that? And I can understand that, Like I can
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: see you.
• 35:08
  Speaker 5: Being like intimidated from the sense of like you seem
• 35:11
  Speaker 5: like a veteran of the world, experienced, And maybe I'm
• 35:14
  Speaker 5: not looking for somebody to take care of me and
• 35:16
  Speaker 5: mentor me like that. And maybe I still have like
• 35:19
  Speaker 5: a youthful vigor and naivety and I want to find
• 35:22
  Speaker 5: somebody that's like discovering the world too.
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: And not always like I told you so. So that
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: is actually an interesting question because that so I've been
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: doing the Get to Know a therap Producer series, good series,
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: and I've been using the book Oh what is it
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: quite the Bible? Yeah? Whatever, But it's a book of questions, yes,
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: by doctor Gregory Stock, And one of the questions in
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: there was a really thought provoking question about if you
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: were going on vacation, would you like and it's someplace
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: new to you, someplace foreign, would you like to be
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: going with someone who's already been there and has experienced
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: and can show you around, or would you rather go
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: with someone who's experiencing it for the first time? Like
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: you are, all right, go around the room. What is
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: your answer to that? I think for me experiencing it
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: the same way? Yeah, first time, me too. Yeah.
• 36:13
  Speaker 5: I don't want you to be like, oh, let me
• 36:14
  Speaker 5: go show you this thing. Yeah, it was pretty cool
• 36:16
  Speaker 5: first time I saw it too, Like, fuck you, like,
• 36:18
  Speaker 5: just be amazed with me that this tower is. It's
• 36:21
  Speaker 5: because I want to be that person. If I can't
• 36:26
  Speaker 5: be that person, I can't be pretentious. If you're being pretentious,
• 36:30
  Speaker 5: got it?
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: No, I've actually said before and I don't know if
• 36:34
  Speaker 3: this is exactly what that question is asking. But I
• 36:37
  Speaker 3: love the idea of going somewhere where there's someone who's
• 36:40
  Speaker 3: local or's live there, like that can show me things
• 36:42
  Speaker 3: that I wouldn't know to go see.
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: I guess, so you don't mind having a bit of
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: a guide, a guide, yeah.
• 36:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, to show me unique things. So I guess if
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, going to Rome and they're like, oh,
• 36:55
  Speaker 3: here's the Coloseum, I've seen that, or I've seen this.
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: Like but is you guys are all assuming because the
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: person you're thinking with there's just gonna be an asshole
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: about it.
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: I think. So I've seen that.
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: Oh this was fun when I was there last time.
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: That's what I said when it makes pause.
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: That's very famous. But it's just okay, let's keep walking.
• 37:12
  Speaker 5: But if you're gonna watch a movie with somebody, you
• 37:14
  Speaker 5: want to watch it together for the first time, Like
• 37:17
  Speaker 5: you don't want them to already know what happened.
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: This part's coming up. Watch his part, watsch just part Yeah.
• 37:23
  Speaker 6: I feel like, no, no, no, I'll tell you what happens.
• 37:28
  Speaker 5: We have to pause the goddamn movie every thirty seconds
• 37:30
  Speaker 5: because my wife has questions, and so we've got, hey,
• 37:33
  Speaker 5: who is that guy?
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: Like it's his son, it was in the last scene.
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: But why is he running? Let's find out.
• 37:39
  Speaker 6: I don't know.
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: I didn't get an advanced copy of the plot. Like,
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: let's fucking warned together. I don't know. He seems really scared.
• 37:47
  Speaker 5: He does.
• 37:48
  Speaker 6: He does seem really scared.
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: I'll bet you there's something bad about to happen. And
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: just we can't get through five minutes of any movie,
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: like every scene, we gotta pause the.
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: Ship so she can just I'm amazed that Jim is
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: still married.
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: Twenty years almost. This has been my hell. Oh and
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: the best part, here's the best fucking part.
• 38:10
  Speaker 5: Not only does she ask questions about every fucking movie,
• 38:13
  Speaker 5: she asks questions about movies she has already seen and
• 38:18
  Speaker 5: she forgot.
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 38:20
  Speaker 5: So like I'm watching the Lincoln. She's like, oh my god,
• 38:23
  Speaker 5: you know this is the part where Lincoln gets shot.
• 38:27
  Speaker 5: First off, you've seen in the movie, you know history,
• 38:32
  Speaker 5: And there's an.
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: Hour and.
• 38:35
  Speaker 5: This is the part where he's hanging out. You know,
• 38:37
  Speaker 5: it's just it's him and Mary Todd. You know pretty
• 38:40
  Speaker 5: sure they're not watching a play right now, babe, I
• 38:42
  Speaker 5: think we get I think you could safely get off
• 38:44
  Speaker 5: the edge of your seat. He might free some slaves first.
• 38:47
  Speaker 5: Let's just hang out and see what happens.
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: Anyway, this is former doctor Jim Job, now single and
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: ready to make If you need a safe space, I
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: want you to come to my home.
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: I have a size bed room for you. Nobody else
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: in that house. Come on in. It's all for you.
• 39:05
  Speaker 3: No movies are different. I want that to be new
• 39:08
  Speaker 3: with everyone. I think or I don't know, but yeah,
• 39:11
  Speaker 3: going somewhere, I kind of like to have a guide
• 39:13
  Speaker 3: or someone who's been there. I've had really good experiences
• 39:15
  Speaker 3: with that. And going together for the first time is great.
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: That's fine, But yeah, I prefer so Okay.
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: I like exploring, So I think I think I like
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: discovering things kind of together.
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I like when Ike Jay and I go go places.
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: Sometimes we'll even get like a guidebook or something like
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: that before we go somewhere, and so we make kind
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: of a loose plan.
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: But yeah, we have Rick Steves. Anytime we go on
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: vacations with Steve, he's with us in spirit. Yeah, we
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: love Rick Steves.
• 39:51
  Speaker 3: When we were in Italy staying at an airbnb, they
• 39:54
  Speaker 3: had a Rick Steves travel book from two thousand and seven,
• 39:58
  Speaker 3: and I was like, I got to look through this
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: to see if anything's changed or any of the things
• 40:02
  Speaker 3: in different places, Like some of the art pieces, are
• 40:05
  Speaker 3: they in different or galleries, or like I wonder if
• 40:08
  Speaker 3: that hotel even still exists.
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: Like it was one the first time we went to Hawaii.
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: She found this book, and I mean it had ship
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: like drive down this road into mile mark or thirty
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: four park on the right hand side of the road. Yeah,
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: roughly five hundred feet into the woods, and you'll find
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: this waterfall and you'll see a rock that has no
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: business being there. Pretty much under that rock will be
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: like off the one hundred percent, like straight on balls accurate. Wow,
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: like everything that it told us, we were like, this
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: is not going to be a thing, and this is
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: this is describing a roadside fruit stand. Oh there it
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: is still there.
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: That's funny, that's amazing.
• 40:56
  Speaker 5: So yeah, I can see the logic of the writer
• 40:58
  Speaker 5: saying I don't know that I want to be with
• 41:00
  Speaker 5: somebody who has all this life experience. Yea, I you
• 41:04
  Speaker 5: know age, And I kind of hear the writer almost
• 41:06
  Speaker 5: saying like age be damned, like I'm not saying this
• 41:09
  Speaker 5: other person is numerically that old. I'm not saying I
• 41:12
  Speaker 5: am numerically that young. Yeah, I'm saying life experience, emotional age.
• 41:16
  Speaker 5: I feel inexperienced. I'm discovering everything and this other person
• 41:20
  Speaker 5: is not. But I can also appreciate writer like you
• 41:23
  Speaker 5: seem baffled at why they would be attracted to you,
• 41:26
  Speaker 5: and I think.
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: It I'm not. I'm not at all, like, well, I'm
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: not baffled at why.
• 41:30
  Speaker 5: We see this dynamic a lot and it's like, you'll
• 41:32
  Speaker 5: also your dynamic, right, Yeah, why is.
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: This twenty four old chick? But like I think also.
• 41:39
  Speaker 6: Shuts him down.
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: It's because he's famous on social media. You can still.
• 41:46
  Speaker 3: I think she's like he could have anyone. I'm like, yeah, honey,
• 41:48
  Speaker 3: you're it.
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: You're four year old. Yeah, the rest for twenty five
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: and a half. That's gross. No, But like, I mean,
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: you see this dynamic in a lot of relationships.
• 41:58
  Speaker 5: But I think there is a trope that there's the
• 42:00
  Speaker 5: male female dynamic where he kind of takes on the
• 42:04
  Speaker 5: role of like guide or like I'm further along than you.
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: I want to show you things I want to you know.
• 42:09
  Speaker 5: And I enjoy your youthful enthusiasm and you're wide eyed
• 42:13
  Speaker 5: and you have all this energy, and you're excited about
• 42:15
  Speaker 5: everything and discovering everything, and you seem to value me
• 42:18
  Speaker 5: knowing things.
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: I love that he's humming Aladdin, fucking yes, singing. Don't
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: don't hum it? Oh no, don't you dare close, Jim.
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: Let's go, come on, Witney, it's karaoke. It is to
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: show her all the stuff. Though it's a song about
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: what you're talking about.
• 42:44
  Speaker 5: But no, like that, that is a dynamic writer, and
• 42:47
  Speaker 5: so like there is a trope where and I think
• 42:49
  Speaker 5: that there are a lot of like men in that
• 42:51
  Speaker 5: version of the relationships that are excited to like be
• 42:56
  Speaker 5: that mentor, like you were joking earlier, Nick, like you
• 42:58
  Speaker 5: enjoy being the pretentious guy who knows it.
• 43:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah you're joking right.
• 43:01
  Speaker 6: Yeah, we're just gonna.
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: Break for this entire song. Break. Oh no, I just
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: like doing music beds music, bed kind of mood tonight.
• 43:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I am gosh. That age gap Okay, let me
• 43:21
  Speaker 3: start out.
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: She's twenty four, he the person at thirty seven.
• 43:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the age gap itself doesn't bother me too much.
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: But I have met with twenty to twenty four year
• 43:33
  Speaker 3: old clients who are female. And let me tell you.
• 43:37
  Speaker 3: I one of the twenty year olds I met with
• 43:40
  Speaker 3: was telling me about this older guy. And you know,
• 43:42
  Speaker 3: I don't know he's a little bit older. I've been
• 43:44
  Speaker 3: talking to him an am at work, okay, and I'm like,
• 43:46
  Speaker 3: she's gonna say thirty. Like I'm thinking in my head,
• 43:48
  Speaker 3: she said, twenty four when you are twenty twenty four
• 43:52
  Speaker 3: sounds old.
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: Wit He slapped the shit out of it.
• 43:55
  Speaker 3: I was like, oh, this is a reality for this
• 43:59
  Speaker 3: you told me.
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: I am no, I remember that, Whitney.
• 44:03
  Speaker 3: I mean some insight. Peter's four years older than me.
• 44:07
  Speaker 3: And when we met, I know, when we met in college,
• 44:10
  Speaker 3: I was nineteen and when he told me he was
• 44:12
  Speaker 3: twenty three. Literally, the first words out of my mouth
• 44:14
  Speaker 3: was year old. Yeah that sounds so old when you're young.
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: So how older you get, the less that window matters.
• 44:23
  Speaker 5: Correct, A forty year old dating a fifty year old blink, No,
• 44:26
  Speaker 5: you don't care, who cares?
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: Or even a seventeen year old dating a thirty year old. Yeah,
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: we all wins. Yeah I don't do that.
• 44:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, no, may My dad and stepmom are thirteen years apart.
• 44:39
  Speaker 3: But she was like thirty five when they got married,
• 44:42
  Speaker 3: so that felt different. Sure, you know, so I get
• 44:45
  Speaker 3: the the questioning like why does not why does he
• 44:50
  Speaker 3: like me? Like a self esteem thing?
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: But like is that right? I don't know.
• 44:55
  Speaker 5: No, I think you're you're barking up the right tree.
• 44:58
  Speaker 5: They can't see your face, so I'm interpreting that for
• 45:00
  Speaker 5: the audience. But your face is sort of like with me, like.
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, are you saying, wow? Is my trust
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: me being naive? Is that attractive to you? Because I
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: don't know any better?
• 45:14
  Speaker 3: And like y'all said, it probably is.
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: You know, there's a dynamic there. I can show you
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: the world.
• 45:20
  Speaker 3: I mean, why not, I would say, though it says
• 45:23
  Speaker 3: y'all clicked on so many different levels. It's been five
• 45:26
  Speaker 3: months and y'all are talking. I mean, just play it
• 45:29
  Speaker 3: by ear, play it slow. I wouldn't jump into anything.
• 45:33
  Speaker 3: It sounds like you're doing your own thing. I'm very
• 45:35
  Speaker 3: much a believer in relationships, like you don't have to
• 45:38
  Speaker 3: go on like this path of Now we're talking, and
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: does that mean we're dating? And are we committed? Like
• 45:43
  Speaker 3: your relationship can be whatever you want it to be
• 45:45
  Speaker 3: if it's just we talk for three years. If y'all
• 45:48
  Speaker 3: are both okay with that, that's okay.
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: Well he does his thing and you grow up like
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: you're touching something really smart here.
• 45:53
  Speaker 5: This is good advice to a twenty four year old,
• 45:55
  Speaker 5: because the twenty four year old's like, oh my god,
• 45:56
  Speaker 5: but what should we be together?
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: It's like, hey, give it a fucking try. Don'try about it?
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: What would that mean? Nothing? That doesn't mean dick. What
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: if we break up? Break up? What if I develop feelings? Great?
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: What if we go visit a place? Do that? Don'try
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: about it.
• 46:12
  Speaker 5: You'll be exactly like, what if I decide later I
• 46:14
  Speaker 5: don't like him, break up the thirty seven?
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: He can handle it. It'll be fine. Yeah, No, I agree.
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: I mean you don't have to define it. You can
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: just kind of see how things go. Play it slow.
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: Unless he's financially well off, I want to lock that in.
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: Can he afford houses in the Las Vegas market? Yes?
• 46:35
  Speaker 3: You know famous?
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: Does he have farmland with aquidity? Oh jesus, yeah, that's
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: that's oil money right there. Getting a centurion.
• 46:47
  Speaker 2: I'm just online I figure out who this person because
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: all the only viasion I have is thirty five or
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: thirty four year old forty seven thirty seven non binary, Yeah,
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: non binari media. I've got seven year old, like non
• 47:00
  Speaker 2: binary social media star. Yeah, that's all I'm searching.
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: For over here.
• 47:04
  Speaker 5: Type in thirty seven year old like twenty four year old. Oh,
• 47:08
  Speaker 5: that's also very specific.
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: It's going to bring up ye search turned off the blur.
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: I want to see that. Oh, I wonder if it's
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: Jeffrey Marsh. That's it sounds right. I think that's a
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: card stands dad media personality and author.
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: That's about thirty seven year old non binary social media
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: star Jeffrey Marsh.
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: Feels right. I'm sure that that's the one. Do we
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: need to cut that out now because we just I mean,
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: how right were you? Jesus?
• 47:38
  Speaker 2: All I did was google thirty seven year old non
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: binary social media.
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: Is docs right? Be right? I will say it.
• 47:47
  Speaker 5: The other day I was at U and OV and
• 47:49
  Speaker 5: my birthday was in December, and my students were like, oh, yeah,
• 47:51
  Speaker 5: happy birthday, gyms. I got thanks, and one of them goes, oh,
• 47:54
  Speaker 5: how old are you? And I'm like, oh, thirty nine,
• 47:55
  Speaker 5: you know, and make the customary joke of like who
• 47:58
  Speaker 5: I'm hanging in there? You know, not quite for yeah,
• 48:00
  Speaker 5: it's still thirty nine, and just the shock on her
• 48:03
  Speaker 5: face and she was like, oh my god, you you
• 48:07
  Speaker 5: are old man. And I'm like, okay, first off, this
• 48:10
  Speaker 5: is like borderline a little little too much, like I'm
• 48:12
  Speaker 5: not you don't have a little of joking in your voice,
• 48:15
  Speaker 5: like it's kind of a mean thing to say.
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: And she helped you into a nearby chair.
• 48:19
  Speaker 6: Yeah, jesus, I'm like, oh, yeah, you that out the window.
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: Now I can't even but I'm like, how old are you?
• 48:31
  Speaker 5: Just like yeah, twenty five And I'm like okay, yeah,
• 48:33
  Speaker 5: and I'm like that, yeah, I get it, you're twenty five.
• 48:35
  Speaker 2: Those are a lot of the women that I work
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: with our early twenties, Grandpa Jacob and yeah, to watch
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: them not even consider the possibility that I was ever
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: sexually interesting to Idy One.
• 48:50
  Speaker 5: Doesn't Chris Rock haven't been on this. She did not
• 48:55
  Speaker 5: register me as a sexual. I can describe you precisely
• 49:00
  Speaker 5: what that feeling is like.
• 49:03
  Speaker 2: These are women that I'm not trying to have any
• 49:05
  Speaker 2: kind of sexual contact with, but you.
• 49:07
  Speaker 3: Sense it's the fact that you are sex and none
• 49:12
  Speaker 3: of no feelings.
• 49:14
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I am a sexual to them. As a chair yeah,
• 49:17
  Speaker 5: that's it, just furniture. Anyway, writer, I think we're all
• 49:20
  Speaker 5: on the team of this thirty seven.
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: Year old dude. Okay, you know what, I'm pretty firmly
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: on his side on this. I think his name is Jeffrey.
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: He could teach you some things. He cares.
• 49:30
  Speaker 6: He sounds like a nice guy.
• 49:32
  Speaker 3: Anti girlfriend in the last one. This one, I'm like,
• 49:34
  Speaker 3: fuck this guy like he's nice.
• 49:37
  Speaker 6: He sounds like a great guy.
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: Whitney. Okay, all he wants to do is help, and
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: you know what, he could get her some clicks. What
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: if he's trying to start a podcast exactly? Also, depending
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: on how famous guy is, could you pitch him our podcast?
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: That'd be really cool. Not this episode.
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: I'm on his team and least you should definitely play
• 49:54
  Speaker 2: him this episode.
• 49:55
  Speaker 5: Guys marketing strategy meeting real quick. I think we take
• 49:57
  Speaker 5: this dude's side and then he promotes the show. Okay,
• 50:00
  Speaker 5: we can't afford not to have these. We need these
• 50:02
  Speaker 5: bumps and talk and get them.
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: I'm not above it.
• 50:05
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it'll take that, I know, spiritually on his sight anyway,
• 50:09
  Speaker 5: I'm not stretching.
• 50:10
  Speaker 6: I want this guy to win you.
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: It looks like he is anyway, they ship size up
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: his net worth and I cannot do. I'm so bad
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: at pronouns. I want to be good at him. I'm bad.
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I'm not.
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm not gonna get there to keep on
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: being frustrated.
• 50:28
  Speaker 5: But we're going to take a quick break and when
• 50:30
  Speaker 5: we come back, we're talking about dealing with being average.
• 50:34
  Speaker 5: You're listening to pod Therapy.
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: Today's episode is brought to you by Carolyn Albert, Sammy Scoop,
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: Sarah Smith, Mike Holm, Darren Cunningham, Matt and Lisa, Tangament
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: and Cody and the Doloring Guy. Would you like to
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: spass on the show? Become a thera producer of Patreon
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: dot com. Oh you didn't. You didn't plug the Mental
• 50:55
  Speaker 1: Fit personal Challenge. I did not. Yeah, get that in there, baby,
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: Pod Therapy Challenge, Thanks for coming on.
• 51:03
  Speaker 6: Today show is anonymously so.
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: Close Pod Therapy Fitness Challenge starting.
• 51:14
  Speaker 2: Fitting this challenge in your butt February February third.
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: You gotta pay extra for that? Yeah, that's not it's
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: going to be smaller.
• 51:21
  Speaker 5: Can It's going to be small as part of the website,
• 51:23
  Speaker 5: like underneath the pod, like whatever logo I imagine you made.
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: I will not underneath it just fitting this challenge in Yo,
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: but I will not in Yo. But this actually goes
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: on my personal like business website. I'm only going to
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: promote this starts February third. You can sign up at
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: mentalfit personal training dot com slash pod Therapy. It's forty
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: dollars for eight weeks of workouts. We're going to be
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: doing three workouts a week. Good deal. You can do
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: their body weight workouts or you can do it with
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: resistance bands, but you can do them in the comfort
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: of your own home. You don't have to go to
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: the gym or the comfort of check out. Show up,
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: fine knock, he buys you access.
• 52:05
  Speaker 6: Okay, I paid my money.
• 52:08
  Speaker 2: Push ups in your living room and write me out
• 52:13
  Speaker 2: or resistance all right?
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: Trivia Whitney. Oh yes, this one should be easy because
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: it was part of the previous question. If you were
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: paying attention, what is the name of the therapist played
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: by Robin Williams in Goodwill Hunting Ship? Nope, none of
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: us were paying attention. Oh boy, doctor Sean McGuire, doctor
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: Ben Soble, doctor Marvin Monroe, doctor Harold Levinson. Fuck, I'll
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: tell you right now. It's not Marvin Monroe.
• 52:49
  Speaker 2: That's off of like a I forget what bit that's
• 52:53
  Speaker 2: off of, but that's off of like another bit.
• 52:55
  Speaker 5: And I think Ben's sobl is the name, and even
• 52:58
  Speaker 5: the Simpsons A captain and band.
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: It's not your fault. I know.
• 53:04
  Speaker 5: Sean, don't don't, don't, don't funk with me. Blank, Yeah,
• 53:08
  Speaker 5: I know his name now, yeah, thank you, thank you
• 53:10
  Speaker 5: for the quote, because now I got it. Now, I
• 53:12
  Speaker 5: got it, nailed it. Mar Simpson of the Bitch stole
• 53:16
  Speaker 5: my line. What was a Sean Sean McGuire.
• 53:20
  Speaker 3: McGuire and what was the other one that they said
• 53:22
  Speaker 3: it wasn't?
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: They said it wasn't Marvin Monroe.
• 53:25
  Speaker 2: Man, I really hope it's Marvin Monroe.
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: Now, I said, I don't think it's sober because I
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: remember that name in a movie. Ben was the other one.
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: And then Harold Levinson m jewish, that's probably it.
• 53:36
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna go with Sean.
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: You're right now, that was my guy, Sean, Ben or
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: Jim whoever you are. I was. I was reading the
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: very thing jimmy job. Uh, what groundbreaking therapy technique does
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: doctor Sidmond Sidney Freeman often promote on mash me watch,
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: I'm going to take options and we're going to shoot
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: the dart here. Okay, laugh therapy, exposure therapy, narrative therapy,
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: hypno therapy.
• 54:10
  Speaker 5: Oh fuck, it's not narrative, because narrative comes after mash
• 54:14
  Speaker 5: Hypno was probably really comedically valuable at the time. Exposure
• 54:19
  Speaker 5: could be good for some wlass and I feel like
• 54:21
  Speaker 5: laugh therapy would have been right on the nose. But
• 54:23
  Speaker 5: then again, I remember there's a dude that like cross
• 54:25
  Speaker 5: dresses in the show, So maybe that's the bit, is
• 54:27
  Speaker 5: he's trying to make people laugh, But it's different.
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: No, he's trying to get kicked out of the army.
• 54:32
  Speaker 2: Oh is that the bit when you were gay you
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: couldn't be in the army. Oh, so he's trying to
• 54:36
  Speaker 2: convince the superiors that he's gay. Yeah, but he's doing
• 54:39
  Speaker 2: that by wearing dresses. Got it, got it, and they
• 54:41
  Speaker 2: won't kick him out?
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: All right, give me clinger, that's it. Yep. It's between
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: exposure and uh, what was the other one? Narrative, hypno therapy,
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: laugh therapy, narrative. Give me exposure. I'll bet that's good
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: for I think it's exposure. No therapy is up there
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: laugh therapy, laugh therapy. My number three guests in the
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: show Shrinking Jacob, which I still haven't watched. I really
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: want to watch it. I have watched it.
• 55:12
  Speaker 2: In the show Shrinking very convenient. We haven't watched the
• 55:15
  Speaker 2: new season yet.
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: Jason Sigal plays a therapist who starts using what unconventional
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: method with his clients. Mm hmm.
• 55:25
  Speaker 3: We got a question about it last week. I think
• 55:27
  Speaker 3: with that therapist, uh.
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: Setting them up with your cousin. He does let a
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: patient move in with him.
• 55:36
  Speaker 2: At one point told Joe.
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: Direct advance and intervention in their lives hypnosis. I think
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: it's that person dream analysis, writing therapeutic letters. Yeah, I
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: think I think it's gonna be the a it ish Wow.
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: So he just bust balls, just comes right out.
• 55:51
  Speaker 3: I mean, it's what That's why, That's why I couldn't
• 55:53
  Speaker 3: keep watching. I mean, I want to still finish it,
• 55:55
  Speaker 3: but it got kind of crazy. He's like showing up
• 55:57
  Speaker 3: at their like kids football.
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: Disruption, but it's not it's not portrayed as a good thing.
• 56:05
  Speaker 3: That's fair.
• 56:07
  Speaker 2: Like there are other there are other therapists that he
• 56:09
  Speaker 2: works with. He as like a supervisor that he's hiding
• 56:11
  Speaker 2: some stuff from at one. So yeah, it's it's not
• 56:14
  Speaker 2: portrayed as like an except for.
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: Certainly. Okay, my question, doctor Marvin Monroe, who was recruiting
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: a reoccurring therapist on which long running animated series. I'm
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: gonna go two points and say the Simpsons or was
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: I gaming you? Definitely we're not. Uh And I got that,
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: so good for me, Sorry, Emma. Next question of the dick.
• 56:45
  Speaker 5: Yeah, all right, I'm in first place. Dealing with being average?
• 56:50
  Speaker 5: How do I deal with being very average?
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: Question? How do I deal with being very average in
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: every way? Because I'm a bad boy there.
• 57:00
  Speaker 5: It is, especially when I spent my early life being
• 57:03
  Speaker 5: applauded for being smart and told I would do great things.
• 57:08
  Speaker 5: I feel an underlying sense of stagnation, lack of accomplishment,
• 57:12
  Speaker 5: and general averageness. I know that I am capable of
• 57:16
  Speaker 5: a lot of things, but nothing seems to interest me
• 57:19
  Speaker 5: more than doom scrolling the internet, and so I feel
• 57:23
  Speaker 5: I just feel boring and stupid and like I'm a
• 57:26
  Speaker 5: waste of life because I'm not the best at anything.
• 57:29
  Speaker 5: I want to be okay with living an average life,
• 57:32
  Speaker 5: but I don't know how. I mean, I listen to
• 57:35
  Speaker 5: this podcast every week. If that says anything about my
• 57:37
  Speaker 5: level of intelligence, thanks anonymous.
• 57:41
  Speaker 1: This one as an expert. I honestly felt like I
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: could have written this like this speaks exactly. I was
• 57:51
  Speaker 1: with you one hundred percent and tell you said, especially
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: when I spent my early life being applauded for being smart,
• 57:58
  Speaker 1: you lost me this. I don't They never got the applause.
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: I did not get that. Yeah, but everything else is like, oh, yeah, okay,
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: tak into that. So the idea is like you feel underwhelmed,
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: and that seems to be the note of the writer
• 58:14
  Speaker 1: is like it's no, it's it's a feeling.
• 58:18
  Speaker 3: Of you should be doing better.
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: No, that there should be something I'm good at.
• 58:24
  Speaker 5: Okay, yeah, you know, but to be average across the
• 58:28
  Speaker 5: board on everything.
• 58:30
  Speaker 1: It's it's just kind of this feeling of like, have
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: I not found my thing? My thing? Or what Jack
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: the King? I mean?
• 58:42
  Speaker 2: I think writer that you need to look around you
• 58:46
  Speaker 2: at all the people who uh seem very comfortable with
• 58:51
  Speaker 2: this and realize the fact that you are more enlightened
• 58:56
  Speaker 2: than they are because you unlike them. You realize that
• 59:01
  Speaker 2: you are average at these things. Yeah, we're all average.
• 59:07
  Speaker 2: At most things, and most of us are average at
• 59:10
  Speaker 2: everything that we do.
• 59:11
  Speaker 1: Whatever means that's it.
• 59:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, to stand out to be unusual, to be to
• 59:17
  Speaker 2: be that, you know, kind of in parts of the
• 59:20
  Speaker 2: Bell curve, that's the unusual thing. Right, to be average
• 59:24
  Speaker 2: is virtually everyone at all things at all times. Yes, yeah,
• 59:30
  Speaker 2: I mean so, I think in a weird way, you've
• 59:33
  Speaker 2: kind of got your shit together better than most people,
• 59:36
  Speaker 2: just because you realize that. I think this is part
• 59:39
  Speaker 2: of growing I know that doesn't help you at all, right,
• 59:41
  Speaker 2: but I do think it's it's reassuring. But I do
• 59:43
  Speaker 2: think this is part of growing up because I do
• 59:45
  Speaker 2: think that a lot of young people, and I think
• 59:48
  Speaker 2: this is a characteristic we associate with youth is believing
• 59:51
  Speaker 2: one is special, you know, and if you did if
• 59:53
  Speaker 2: you were you know, blessed to grow up with a
• 59:55
  Speaker 2: lot of people rooting for you, or you were like
• 59:57
  Speaker 2: doing well in school or had some outstanding aracteristic or
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 2: you know, your uncle Rico and you were really good
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 2: at football, like in high school or whatever, and you're like,
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna make it, and every thinks I'm great, I'm
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 2: going to be the guy, and like, yeah, you start
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 2: to believe that you could be exceptional or that you
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 2: are an unusually interesting person or whatever. And I see
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 2: a lot of youth they try to get on the internet,
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 2: they try to start a twitch, they start you know,
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 2: their social media, they start a podcast, and they're sure
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 2: that this is going to be lightning in a bottle. Yeah,
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 2: everybody's gonna get it.
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 5: And then they just realize, like nobody clicks, nobody cares,
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 5: and then they start to one by one kind of
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 5: crash into the walls of realizing, no, no, no, you're
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 5: not unusually interesting. You are good enough at a lot
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 5: of things to get the job and start here. We're
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 5: not going to promote you there. It's not like a
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 5: movie or a TV show. You're not the chosen one.
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 5: And that's I think that's also like a part of it.
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 5: Like every story is you're being selected, right, You're the
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 5: special one. It's literally the template for storytelling. And I
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 5: think as growing up is not identifying with that anymore, yeah,
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 5: you know, and starting to identify with like the fucking
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 5: side characters and like, yeah, that guy just got a
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 5: normal job and he seems to live a normal life,
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 5: and good for him.
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: You know, he owns a car, like that's kind of cool.
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 3: Did y'all ever face some version of feeling like kind
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 3: of a big fish in a small pond where you know, oh, look,
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 3: I am above average Like they were saying, it seems
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 3: like they were told they were smart and all these things,
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 3: like maybe they were overachiever for where they started out
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 3: their elementary, middle, high school, probably yeah, and then if
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 3: they went to college or went out into the workforce
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 3: from there, it can be a little I don't know,
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 3: underwhelming of how much we achieve kind of what you're saying, Jim,
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 3: how quickly we achieve things. On top of just add
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 3: in there what social media does to us nowadays, where
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 3: we only see the outcome. You start watching a creator
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 3: who has eighty seven thousand views like the thing, and
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 3: you're like, wow, they just did that. Know they've had
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 3: like their YouTube channel for six years or whatever, like
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 3: ten years, whatever, they've been working on it. They've been
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 3: working on it. They just show up and they do
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 3: the average thing over and over and over again until
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 3: they hone their craft and then people find them like
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 3: it's kind of a formula. And so I think so
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 3: many I see this with a lot of young people.
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 3: So many of them think I don't know what I
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 3: want to do. I hear that all the time too,
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 3: I don't know what I want to do who I
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 3: am and I'm like, part of that is growing up.
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 3: That's part of youth is figuring that out. You shouldn't
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 3: know who you are at twenty one, right, also, because
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 3: you're going to change a bunch in the next decade
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 3: and the one after that and all these things. It's
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 3: an ever going process or an ongoing process. It's not
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 3: just I'm here. I've realized that this is who I
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 3: am for the rest of my life.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 5: And kind of what you said, standing out in certain
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 5: pools is not that impressive, Like you might have been
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 5: the best singer in fourth grade, right, you know, and
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 5: all the other kids are like, oh my god, let
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 5: Whitney sing it. She is such a pretty voice, and
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 5: like Evan, You're like, wow, fuck, I'm the shit. And
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 5: then you start like it forms into your identity and
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 5: you believe like I am exceptional at this everybody says
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 5: so like everybody in my family says, I'm the best
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 5: singer in the family, and it's like, yeah, they think
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 5: you're the cutest little kid in the family, and they
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 5: just want you to fucking belt it out.
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: It's great that they love it when you sing.
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 2: Like what you're described, because the entire premise and how
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 2: American Idol got started, Yes, you.
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 1: Birth of American Idol.
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 2: Yes, And then you get out there and we see
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 2: that No you you are not. No, you're the best
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 2: singer in town. I know, but there's two thousand people
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 2: in town.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, really good singers who made it to
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 3: certain levels of American Idol and still didn't make it
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 3: on that TV show, and they're amazing singers. I'm just like, damn,
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 3: you're in a bigger pool, honey.
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 1: Well.
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 5: And also, I think other people's talents may catch up,
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 5: you know, like maybe you blossomed in an area. Like
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 5: something that came to me as I was reading this
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 5: when I was you guys, remember Dare. Did you guys
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 5: have to keep kids off drugs? Yeah?
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you didn't have Dare.
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 1: Quick side point, we did not. We're too small. But
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 1: there was there was a church in town that recruited
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 1: some of the kind of popular kids because they wanted
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 1: to start. Their heart was in the good place, but
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 1: they wanted to start, like this mentoring program and it
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: was like teaching assistance or something like that. And they
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 1: had these shirts made that were like Superman shirts with
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: like the shield and it said t A on it.
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 1: It was one of our substitute teachers that came in
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 1: and saw that and he was like, he was like,
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 1: I can't take this serious. This is just hits an ass.
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 1: This is what you guys are doing.
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 6: This at teger.
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 1: I'm good get me again. I'm not gonna get me
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 1: a fifth time. Okay, come here, you're worth it.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 5: So like in our Dare program, we you know, the
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 5: a cop comes to the school or whatever and uh
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 5: the cop for whatever reason. So like at that age,
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 5: fourth and fifth grade, I think I was I was
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 5: a pretty outspoken kid.
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 1: Fine you know, like yeah, I know, there it is
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 1: and it but like my my.
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 5: Powers of speech at that age were probably quite a
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 5: bit above my peers. Like I had more confidence in
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 5: my peers. I was very comfortable in front of the room.
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 5: My dad worked in sales and he was training me
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 5: to sell pencils since I was five years old. Like
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 5: you teach me, yes, my faja, my real faja. He
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 5: teaches me like sales drills. So like I was a
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 5: good communicator at a really young age. So at that age,
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 5: this police officer that was running our DIR program was
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 5: like impressed by me so much so that when we
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 5: had a school assembly to like wrap up Dare, the
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 5: whole school comes, like the fifth graders get to go
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 5: up and be acknowledged and honored. No, yeah, fucking listen
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 5: to this. So here, I I'm this little like kid,
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 5: you know, fifth grade, trying to be like.
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 5: So I'm sitting there trying to be like look at me, kid,
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 5: I really want to take Jim's lunch money right now.
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah. No, no, it's as dumb as it sounds.
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 5: So like we're having this huge school assembly and like, oh,
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 5: the fifth graders must be honored. I remember growing up
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 5: every year, second, third, fourth grade, the fifth grader is
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 5: getting to do DARE was the coolest, and like, oh
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 5: they get to have the big assembly and they like
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 5: get honored if the police officer comes and gives them
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 5: a sticker or some bullshit, And like every kid in
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 5: the school thought that was the coolest thing. And so
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 5: the cop gets up and she says, you know, before
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 5: we begin today, we're gonna start with the pledge of Allegiance,
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 5: and I would like one student to get up and
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 5: lead us in the pledge, A student who I believe
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 5: with all my heart is going to be the president
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 5: of the United States one day.
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 1: Jimmy jobin, please stand out this letter.
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 9: Of my life from fifth raid has been downhill. That
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 9: was my best fucking moment I be.
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 6: At the time.
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 5: His life would be better for I want to put
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 5: that ship on a resume today and say, like, look,
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 5: I was gonna be somebody.
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 1: I was gonna be the next president. A police officer
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 1: said so, but I was.
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 6: Yeah, so I there it is gathered around.
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 5: It's time for doctor Jim Joman's latest tale of Whoa, Whoa.
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 1: It's all been downhill ever since fifth grade. It was
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 1: an impressionable little kid.
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 5: Other people learned how to do drugs, and there I
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 5: thought I was gonna be the president.
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 2: Okay, I believe you gotta get yourself a reality show.
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 1: I was the boss of that school. So cool.
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 5: So anyway, my life has not turned out the way
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 5: I thought it would present. And if you still have
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 5: like sixty years left in true, I'm way too young,
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 5: so maybe, but yeah, so like I get a writer.
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 5: If you grew up being celebrated as the best singer
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 5: in fucking your little town, or the kid in fourth
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 5: grade that spoke the best in that class. And so
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 5: like the police officer thought, you're gonna be president one
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 5: day or just want to celebrate.
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 1: Whatever it is you.
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 5: Then everybody else ages up to you, right, they all
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 5: catch up to you. And then you get into high
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 5: school and you get into college, and yeah, like everybody
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 5: can give talks to the class, Like there's a whole
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 5: law school of people that are really fucking good in
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 5: front of a jury. Like you're not unique, you're not
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 5: better than them at anything, but like you still have
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 5: that delusion of grandeur that was giving you a really
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 5: young age. Yeah, and I think that that is tricky,
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 5: and like I've I've really struggled with that. Like raising
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 5: my kids, I try to reinforce them. I try to
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 5: like celebrate their their strengths and like boo them occasionally,
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 5: you know, but like I try not to overdo it
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 5: to the point where you're telling them things like that,
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 5: like you're destined for greatness.
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 2: I believe in you, and like you can purely believe
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 2: that you are the Messiah, you are.
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 5: The chosen one next and you have to be really
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 5: careful about that ship because letters like this, then you
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 5: can have a perfect good life but.
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 1: Feel like you didn't measure up. Because yeah, because anytime
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 1: you really get to a point where you start believing
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 1: that you are really special, the world has a way
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 1: of letting you know that you're not. Yeah, you know,
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 1: like I remember in high school, uh, you know, small town, Iowa,
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 1: Like our our football program was huge. Like they were
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 1: going to state every year, just dominating, you know, and Ship,
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 1: and they would win state. And these guys, you know,
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 1: a town of two thousand people, they were yeah exactly,
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 1: they could do no wrong. So that football team exactly. Yeah,
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 1: and and like grown men looking up to these h right,
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 1: it's just the most disgusting their number, yeah exactly. And
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 1: and then getting a beer the convenience. Yeah. Absolutely. The
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 1: fucking funniest thing was when they went and went to college.
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 1: The first fucking day in college when they realized, smushed
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 1: brown man, No one gives a ship, nobody cared, nobody
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 1: cares from the bottom going from the very top to like, yeah,
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 1: every solution.
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 5: To me, it's like the child star problem, you know,
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 5: like you peak too early and then like nothing will
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 5: ever measure up to the fame that you once had
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 5: and like a lot of the child stars end up
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 5: having terrible lives, you know, and like you think Jesus
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 5: or like the Latto winner right, like you get too
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 5: great too fast, nothing else will ever measure up to that. Again,
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 5: it's like discovering drugs at a young age. So for
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 5: the writer, I hear that in the letter because I'm
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 5: hearing this language of like, man, I was really celebrated
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 5: at a younger age and people thought I was something
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 5: special or.
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 3: Gifted and talented.
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 5: Prose are very like I like the idea of challenging
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 5: kids and moving them along.
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 1: I've never cared for the title of it now because like,
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 1: if you're not in it, then like it's fucked up.
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 1: Gifted and talented here un gifted and untalented. I've never
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 1: been comfortable with that language or like kids are in it.
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 2: It's like, I don't want this to be the way
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 2: with the teacher who did the Gifted and Talented classes
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 2: in my elementary school made everyone just referred to it
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 2: as GT.
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 2: I like that she would not let them refer to
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 2: it like the students who were in the program. The
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 2: students were not in the program. Whatever, like everyone referred
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 2: to it as GT. Yeah, like even back in the eighties,
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 2: like she she recognized that back then obvious it was like, yeah,
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 2: you should, you should this one child gifted in front
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 2: of twenty other children.
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I think you can really do harm. So, you know, writer,
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 5: I get that idea. Like, you know, I peaked in
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 5: fifth grade and you know, had my moment in the sun.
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 5: Everything tastes like ash in my mouth. Now there is
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 5: no greatness, you know, really.
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 1: I like my kids. They're fine. They're not as great
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 1: as that day that the cops said that I was
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 1: the best in the Yeah, if we in the future
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 1: ever do anything at scoop Fest, and you have to
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 1: introduce us.
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 5: If you pause to have the pledge of allegiance, I
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 5: believe the President of the United States. I mean, you'll
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 5: have to pull me aside and remind me. But yes,
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 5: we're going to open up scoop Fest the Pledge of Allegiance. Yeah,
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 5: and I'm going to walk up to my dare sticker.
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 5: This is gonna lie in on my doctor. For God's sake,
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 5: how far he has fallen. I mean, I empathize with
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 5: this writer a lot.
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I grew up.
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 2: I was the kid, like I was doing the commercials
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 2: and the shows and doing all the stuff, and uh,
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 2: like when I go back to my hometown still, uh,
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 2: I will see people that I haven't seen since I
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 2: was a child every now and then, and they'll ask
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 2: me what I'm up to a specific They'll ask me like, oh,
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 2: you do you do? Like you in theater?
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 1: Are you in movies? What do you what do you do?
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 1: And I say, oh, why, I work in entertainment.
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 5: I working.
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 2: I work in Las Vegas. I run Chosen Las Vegas.
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 2: I do some podcasting there and I got to talk
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 2: about that. You know, I like my life a lot,
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 2: you know, I tell them this as you're like this,
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 2: these are all good things. I'm happy with them, and
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 2: like often this is not an irregular occurrence that they
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 2: will look at me with disappointment.
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 5: Really of like we all thought that you would just
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 5: be on stage chosen one though.
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, no, I was.
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 2: I was like okay for that as a as a
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 2: kid and like whatever, but yeah, that's not the same.
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 2: That's not what my life did. Like I just told
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 2: you that I had that. I like things that I'm
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 2: happy about.
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 1: This that you do for a living. Why would you
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 1: care what I do for a living if I don't
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 1: care what you do for I kid think you're dis pointed.
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 1: But did you not hear me say I'm on pod therapy.
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 6: Yeah you gotta lead with that.
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're burying and buried that lead.
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 5: Don't just say some podcasts explain that you are on
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 5: the forty fifth best podcast in mental health on Good Pots.
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 2: I should jump to explaining about the second biggest podcast
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 2: that I'm on.
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 5: In fairness, I see US isn't even ranked in mental
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 5: health on Good Pods.
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 1: Okay, we're blowing them out of the fucking water.
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 6: Don't give them any ida.
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 6: I'm so sorry.
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 5: I immediately take it back and they will make it
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 5: forty third and stop. The scoops will be like, park
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 5: it right there. You said it's called Good Pods.
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 1: Fuck, that was our trophy.
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 5: So what advice for accepting one's life, which we've all
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 5: had to do. Everybody knows it's it's something you go
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 5: through and you realize, Okay, I know no longer have
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 5: I mean, you still have aspirations, you know, I think
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 5: you can still have that, but you also kind of
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 5: accept I'm good. Yeah I'm not gonna be rich one day.
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 5: I'm not gonna be famous one day. I'm still holding
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 5: out for the president of.
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 3: Dare there's a chance you're saying, there's a chance.
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 1: I feel like that's attainable.
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, for me.
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 1: For me, I think it helps to just understand. And
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 1: this is gonna sound bad, and I don't mean it's
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 1: gonna sound depressing. I don't mean it to sound depressing,
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 1: but understand how small I am in the universe. Okay, yeah,
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 1: you know, and just kind of like literally it's just
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 1: like I am one primate out of eight billion or
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 1: you know, more than that, on one speck of dust
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 1: in an endless galaxy, you know, like I mean endless universe.
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 1: I mean like it's that's kind of where I'm at.
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 1: And I'm you know, I'm doing all right, right, you know.
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 1: I need to be grateful for the things that I have.
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 1: That's everything. And yeah, and I think about this often,
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 1: like especially when I get frustrated with golf, like I
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 1: and I know it sounds silly, but like, no, this
• 1:16:09
  Speaker 1: is a good example. I get really angry and frustrated,
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 1: like I should be better. As hard as I work,
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 1: there's no reason why I shouldn't be better than I am.
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 1: But then I kind of realize, like, Okay, but I
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 1: could get into a car accident tomorrow and lose one
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 1: of my arms. Yeah, sure, you know, or I could
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 1: do something like that and then just like be paralyzed
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 1: or like all these different things and never be able
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 1: to do it ever again. Right, Yeah, yeah, but it's
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 1: hard to think about that stuff, you know, when you're
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 1: just frustrated. Yeah, I don't know.
• 1:16:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the kind of gratitude route is definitely one of
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 3: the directions that I was going to head down. But
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 3: almost in addition to gratitude is sort of being mindful
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 3: and present in that why are you doing the activity
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 3: you're doing? So the writer didn't say this, and I'm
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 3: gonna jump what the writer said. But for example, if
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 3: it's like golf, you're out there playing golf, why are
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 3: you playing golf like to be the best? Why are
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 3: you wanting like praise? Are you wanting to show other
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 3: people I'm better? Is it just for yourself? Like do
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 3: you just go out there to beat your next score?
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 3: Like what's the end goal? What's like the best score
• 1:17:18
  Speaker 3: you're gonna get or whatever? And golf's kind of fucked
• 1:17:20
  Speaker 3: up because it's like gambling, because that damn balling club
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 3: don't ever hit the same way, like the little fucker.
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 1: Your margin for air is like minuscule, yeah, exactly, And
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 1: even the best are going to fuck up concert.
• 1:17:33
  Speaker 3: Right, the best players in the world have days where they're.
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 1: Just like, I mean, it's what there's a and I
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 1: think this is a really good way to look at this.
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 1: If you've ever seen the movie Beggar Vance, oh yeah,
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 1: a great movie. But they kind of he kind of
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 1: uses the expression of the saying like golf is a
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 1: game that can never be one only played, yes, you know.
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 1: And it's like you're not judged by how good you are,
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 1: You're judged by how not bad you are. Right, So
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 1: it's it's not like the winner isn't the person who's
• 1:18:03
  Speaker 1: like playing amazing. It's usually the person who just doesn't
• 1:18:06
  Speaker 1: fuck up as much.
• 1:18:07
  Speaker 3: Right. So, like if you're learning to or like, you
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 3: play guitar, and maybe you're a really good guitar player,
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 3: like in high school, like no one else played guitar.
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 3: I'm playing acoustic guitar. If you're in your writer, if
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 3: you happen to be in you're like mid thirties to mid.
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 1: Forties youth group.
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, lots of acoustic guitars in there, and that was impressive.
• 1:18:27
  Speaker 3: But as you get older, like, oh, but there are
• 1:18:30
  Speaker 3: you know, amazing musicians out there. What am I doing?
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 3: Why am I playing this guitar? And it's like, yeah,
• 1:18:34
  Speaker 3: why are you? Are you doing it because you enjoy
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 3: playing the guitar and that takes looking internally and sitting
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 3: with that or like recognizing that emotion or is it
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 3: I was only doing that to yeah, impress others, to
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 3: make a point outward for that outward validation rather than inward.
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 3: Now going to what the writer said, they're saying like
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 3: I just find myself doom scrolling, and to me, it
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 3: could be some avoidance there if I'm not going to
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 3: be good at anything. Look, I'm not even trying. I
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 3: see this. Oh gosh, with like friends even sometimes friends
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 3: of friends, whatever, where they were told when they were young,
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 3: oh my gosh, you're so good at ABC, you're so smart,
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 3: you're gonna do all these things. You're so good at
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 3: video games, you should start a Twitch stream whatever, And
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 3: they just won't, and you're like why, And the fear
• 1:19:20
  Speaker 3: of failure is so strong because you've been told you're
• 1:19:22
  Speaker 3: so good your whole life. Yeah, you're not going to
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 3: live up to what if I fail? And like, I
• 1:19:28
  Speaker 3: know we all deal with fear of failure absolutely, but
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 3: it's like to this stronghold, this, this relates.
• 1:19:34
  Speaker 1: To me again. This, this is, this.
• 1:19:40
  Speaker 5: Is why I'm scared I'll be too good at it,
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 5: you know, and like I just don't want to live
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 5: that life.
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 1: This is exactly my hesitation was starting a mental fit Instagram.
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, I hear that.
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 1: I know enough.
• 1:19:57
  Speaker 2: I know enough to be able to do something Instagram.
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 2: I don't want to, but no, but I am very happy.
• 1:20:06
  Speaker 2: I'm on good Pods now. I'm I'm very happy I
• 1:20:09
  Speaker 2: knew you was doing this.
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like we mentioned one thing and then you don't
• 1:20:16
  Speaker 1: hear from you.
• 1:20:19
  Speaker 2: I am really happy that it has ice cream social
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 2: seasons correct on here season one and season two. Season two,
• 1:20:25
  Speaker 2: starting with episode one thousand said our first season was
• 1:20:29
  Speaker 2: the first thousand episodes. Sore are I now we're number
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 2: forty five on the Midtal Health.
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 1: I My hesitation is not necessarily that I feel like
• 1:20:42
  Speaker 1: I'm going to fuck up, but just I read comment
• 1:20:47
  Speaker 1: sections on Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, and Instagram that is the
• 1:20:52
  Speaker 1: worst of the worst of society. Yeah, and that is
• 1:20:55
  Speaker 1: that is the reason, that is the only that is
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 1: the only reason I have done it yet. It's because
• 1:21:01
  Speaker 1: I don't want to have to deal with that ship.
• 1:21:03
  Speaker 1: The moment you put something out, especially fitness and health,
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 1: the moment you say anything, you're gonna have five thousand
• 1:21:12
  Speaker 1: people jump on that and say you're a fucking idiot,
• 1:21:14
  Speaker 1: you don't know what you're doing. It's like, I just
• 1:21:16
  Speaker 1: don't want to deal with that.
• 1:21:17
  Speaker 2: My mom does a lot of volunteer stuff, and a
• 1:21:19
  Speaker 2: couple of years ago she was taking part in a
• 1:21:23
  Speaker 2: in a thing in her hometown or in where she lives,
• 1:21:26
  Speaker 2: and about not doing a big group balloon releases anymore.
• 1:21:31
  Speaker 2: Pretty innocuous topic, but you know she she like volunteers
• 1:21:35
  Speaker 2: at a wildlife refuge and does all this all this
• 1:21:37
  Speaker 2: kind of stuff, and so this is something that she
• 1:21:40
  Speaker 2: is passionate about. She like, she wanted to do some
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 2: work on this, and she so she was working on that,
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 2: and she posted something like on her personal Facebook page, Uh,
• 1:21:49
  Speaker 2: you know, hey, we're we're doing this and we're gonna
• 1:21:52
  Speaker 2: we're gonna see if we can't get people to stop
• 1:21:55
  Speaker 2: releasing balloons as group. I don't even think it was
• 1:21:57
  Speaker 2: like a law or anything. I think it was just
• 1:21:58
  Speaker 2: you know, public awareness. That's just an awareness campaign.
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 1: Don't do this, it hurts the environment.
• 1:22:02
  Speaker 2: And like apparently people strangers started posting comments on this thing,
• 1:22:08
  Speaker 2: just telling her that she was an old psycho bitch,
• 1:22:12
  Speaker 2: go kill yourself this stuff. And she's telling me about this,
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 2: and she's like, I don't know how to respond to
• 1:22:17
  Speaker 2: these things. But you can't respond. Don't delete comments that
• 1:22:23
  Speaker 2: block people, delete them, don't respond to anything.
• 1:22:27
  Speaker 1: I mean, I got some pushback on that as well,
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 1: because I had a similar post about the balloons and
• 1:22:32
  Speaker 1: then and then I also put in free the January
• 1:22:34
  Speaker 1: sixth prisoners, but.
• 1:22:37
  Speaker 6: Like it was mostly about the balloons.
• 1:22:39
  Speaker 1: Hold the balloons, released the prison hashtag. I'm with him
• 1:22:49
  Speaker 1: and people you just can't just can't talk about balloons.
• 1:22:55
  Speaker 3: But the last, I guess, the last thing I was
• 1:22:59
  Speaker 3: just going to say for recommendation is you said I
• 1:23:03
  Speaker 3: just feel boring and stupid, like I'm a waste of
• 1:23:06
  Speaker 3: life because I'm not the best at anything. That's sad
• 1:23:10
  Speaker 3: to hear. I hate hearing that, but I get it
• 1:23:13
  Speaker 3: that it's like a a spiral loop. You know, the
• 1:23:17
  Speaker 3: longer you sit there and don't do anything, the worse
• 1:23:20
  Speaker 3: you feel about yourself, and the worst you feel about
• 1:23:22
  Speaker 3: yourself the longer you sit there and like doom, scroll
• 1:23:24
  Speaker 3: or whatever. It's just like a never ending cycle. I
• 1:23:27
  Speaker 3: would say, push yourself to do something new that's like
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 3: you know you'll be bad at, or like like painting,
• 1:23:35
  Speaker 3: if you've never painted before, it's almost it's kind of
• 1:23:38
  Speaker 3: like exposure therapy. I guess you're kind of like, hey, I.
• 1:23:42
  Speaker 1: Mean it worked for George w Like you got really
• 1:23:49
  Speaker 1: wait that guy was also a president, the artist no
• 1:23:54
  Speaker 1: bel but like officer told him someday you'll be a painter.
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 3: But yeah, So I like trying something so outside the
• 1:24:06
  Speaker 3: box where kind of there's not next. I guess I
• 1:24:09
  Speaker 3: should say, not something you're terrible at, but there's no expectation,
• 1:24:12
  Speaker 3: something new to you. There's no expectation. You're just doing
• 1:24:16
  Speaker 3: it and pay attention to how you feel and get
• 1:24:19
  Speaker 3: a sense of accomplishing something like I don't care if
• 1:24:21
  Speaker 3: it's knitting a little animal. Those comes with come with instructions.
• 1:24:25
  Speaker 3: I think if you're crocheting, croching, that's the whole thing
• 1:24:28
  Speaker 3: about one of.
• 1:24:28
  Speaker 1: That's really hard. If you can crochet, you are.
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 3: My nine year old niece is baller at it, so
• 1:24:33
  Speaker 3: it can't be that hard.
• 1:24:35
  Speaker 1: Paint by Numbers Kit.
• 1:24:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I want to get I want to get one
• 1:24:38
  Speaker 3: to talk about Instagram thinks that is the one thing
• 1:24:41
  Speaker 3: I want to buy.
• 1:24:43
  Speaker 1: Number is huge a few years ago.
• 1:24:45
  Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, yeah, the pandemic.
• 1:24:48
  Speaker 6: Yeah, do that.
• 1:24:49
  Speaker 1: I saw Michaels. I just saw on the other day.
• 1:24:51
  Speaker 2: I just saw someone fairly recently talking online about this
• 1:24:56
  Speaker 2: about doing things for the experience and not doing things
• 1:25:00
  Speaker 2: to be good at.
• 1:25:01
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.
• 1:25:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:25:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, I mean, you know, exercise is a great example.
• 1:25:05
  Speaker 2: You know, just go out if you want to go
• 1:25:06
  Speaker 2: out and run for your health, go out and run
• 1:25:08
  Speaker 2: for your health. You don't need to be the best
• 1:25:10
  Speaker 2: runner on your block or whatever. Just like, go out
• 1:25:12
  Speaker 2: and do that. If you want to paint, paint, If
• 1:25:14
  Speaker 2: you want to write something, write something. But yeah, these things,
• 1:25:17
  Speaker 2: this thought process that we have, and I think that
• 1:25:21
  Speaker 2: our society is is kind.
• 1:25:23
  Speaker 1: Of inundated with this.
• 1:25:25
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 1:25:25
  Speaker 2: Uh, you know, we have to be good at it.
• 1:25:27
  Speaker 1: If you're not good at it, then why are you
• 1:25:29
  Speaker 1: even doing it? Right? I was like, well, because it's fun.
• 1:25:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because I want to.
• 1:25:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:25:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like when you go out as a as
• 1:25:36
  Speaker 2: a kid and play, you know, a softball game with
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 2: your friends. None of you were professional softball players, but
• 1:25:43
  Speaker 2: it's fun. It's fun to go out and play softball
• 1:25:45
  Speaker 2: with your friends.
• 1:25:46
  Speaker 3: So why not all this stuff you cook Jacob at
• 1:25:48
  Speaker 3: your house, Like, yeah, you could go buy a steak.
• 1:25:50
  Speaker 3: I'm sure y'all could afford to go buy a steak
• 1:25:52
  Speaker 3: if you want a steak, but you enjoy cooking it.
• 1:25:54
  Speaker 3: And I'm sure they're delicious steaks. But there are more
• 1:25:56
  Speaker 3: delicious steaks out there. It's like, fine, it's just well.
• 1:26:00
  Speaker 6: A little hurtful, but you better take it.
• 1:26:04
  Speaker 1: This is the exact that the Minnesota Vikings I think
• 1:26:08
  Speaker 1: have adopted. It's like, it's not about winning, not about
• 1:26:12
  Speaker 1: what's not about what. It's not important to It's not
• 1:26:14
  Speaker 1: about being the best. It's not being a Viking, you know,
• 1:26:17
  Speaker 1: just just.
• 1:26:18
  Speaker 5: Collar with experience, running and shout.
• 1:26:24
  Speaker 6: Numbers on it.
• 1:26:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, on the back of it, that's cool. People are
• 1:26:28
  Speaker 1: having a hot dog and drinking a beer, having fun,
• 1:26:31
  Speaker 1: just with your hair and friends, playing.
• 1:26:35
  Speaker 2: For a lot of close to really successful professional.
• 1:26:41
  Speaker 1: And sometimes you even touch them, you know, that's pretty cool. Yeah,
• 1:26:45
  Speaker 1: then there's pictures of it. You know, you're like, hey,
• 1:26:47
  Speaker 1: that guy you want to you know, bring Yeah, yeah,
• 1:26:51
  Speaker 1: be like the Minnesota Vikings. Don't don't make success the priority.
• 1:26:54
  Speaker 3: I think that's overrated.
• 1:26:56
  Speaker 5: Yeah, the Minnesota Vikings are like Diogenes, you know, just
• 1:27:00
  Speaker 5: like I don't read anything. Oh, the guy that was
• 1:27:03
  Speaker 5: Alexander the Great asked him what he would like, and
• 1:27:06
  Speaker 5: he said for him to get out of his son
• 1:27:08
  Speaker 5: like ause he just didn't want anything in the world. Theagenes,
• 1:27:11
  Speaker 5: the guy that lived on the streets in ancient Rome
• 1:27:13
  Speaker 5: or ancient Greece. Okay, he said, having the least once,
• 1:27:16
  Speaker 5: I am nearest to the gods. Oh okay, you probably
• 1:27:20
  Speaker 5: said it in Greek though.
• 1:27:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, it's basically Buddhism, is it. Yeah, just there,
• 1:27:24
  Speaker 1: you just do that.
• 1:27:25
  Speaker 5: Never mind, let's switch it up. The Vikings are the
• 1:27:27
  Speaker 5: Buddhists of the football league. Yeah, all suffering is caused
• 1:27:31
  Speaker 5: by desires, So we want nothing. We're just out here
• 1:27:34
  Speaker 5: to throw the ball around. It's a good time, good
• 1:27:36
  Speaker 5: old time be the Vikings.
• 1:27:37
  Speaker 1: You'll be fine.
• 1:27:38
  Speaker 5: We're gonna take quick break and when we come back,
• 1:27:40
  Speaker 5: we're gonna wrap up the show you're listening to, pod Therapy.
• 1:27:45
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• 1:28:01
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• 1:28:18
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• 1:28:22
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• 1:29:02
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• 1:29:22
  Speaker 5: But speaking of which, we are recording this in the
• 1:29:25
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• 1:29:28
  Speaker 5: we do. But if you have supported us after Monday,
• 1:29:31
  Speaker 5: January thirteenth, we will hit you on the next episode.
• 1:29:34
  Speaker 5: But as of today, we've got somebody to think we
• 1:29:36
  Speaker 5: got one new therapy. Welcome Sam, Welcome to the show.
• 1:29:40
  Speaker 1: Welcome Sam, I am, And.
• 1:29:42
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• 1:30:01
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• 1:30:05
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• 1:30:09
  Speaker 5: Judy Schneider, Kayla Lansberry, Malia, Leon Cassab whose name is said.
• 1:30:14
  Speaker 1: I think it's It's not it's just Leon. You're saying
• 1:30:18
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• 1:30:19
  Speaker 5: Yeah, oh well, that could be Mason Miller, Richard Fucking Macy,
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• 1:30:49
  Speaker 1: If you'd like to do this episode uncut and unedited,
• 1:30:51
  Speaker 1: and who wouldn't you?
• 1:30:55
  Speaker 3: I just want to hear Jacob's voice.
• 1:30:56
  Speaker 1: Alright and enjoy our spontaneous side projects. Go to patreon
• 1:31:01
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• 1:31:03
  Speaker 6: That's all the time we get for this week session.
• 1:31:05
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• 1:31:11
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• 1:31:14
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• 1:31:16
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• 1:31:20
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• 1:31:29
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• 1:31:33
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• 1:31:35
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• 1:31:38
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  Speaker 1: our anonymous Google form. I'm Nick Tanjamin Jim. Thanks and
• 1:31:47
  Speaker 1: we'll see you for your appointment next week. It was
• 1:31:54
  Speaker 1: a fine show. It was all right. It was average
• 1:31:57
  Speaker 1: five out of ten. It's all I'm aiming for.
• 1:32:00
  Speaker 3: Is pretty good.
• 1:32:01
  Speaker 1: Whitney.
• 1:32:01
  Speaker 5: You could have brought it a little bit more and
• 1:32:03
  Speaker 5: thank Yeah, let's we should start doing post game de breeks,
• 1:32:07
  Speaker 5: you talk about it.
• 1:32:08
  Speaker 1: Question two was week a fucking research post game interview?
• 1:32:14
  Speaker 5: Would you coach his commentary? Oh that would be great.
• 1:32:18
  Speaker 5: We take questions from the audience.
• 1:32:20
  Speaker 1: Jacob could have used We could have used a little
• 1:32:22
  Speaker 1: bit more kazoo, Yeah yeah, So what song is he playing? Oh? Aladin,
• 1:32:30
  Speaker 1: the same song. Yeah.
• 1:32:32
  Speaker 3: I thought it was take a look, but that's what
• 1:32:35
  Speaker 3: I thought it was.
• 1:32:37
  Speaker 1: Bye, everybody fe