Latest / Tabernacle Talk - A Bible Study Podcast with Pastor Bryon Self / 1 Timothy 3:4-7 - Pastoring the Home and the Church

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1 Timothy 3:4-7 - Pastoring the Home and the Church · Tabernacle Talk - A Bible Study Podcast with Pastor Bryon Self

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  Welcome to Tabernacle Talk. Tabernacle Talk is a Bible study
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  podcast brought from Tabernacle Baptist Church in Essex, MD.
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  I'm your host, Brian Self. We hope this podcast encourages
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  you to know Christ, grow in His word, and show His love to
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  others. Let's dive right in.
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  Hello and welcome back to the Tabernacle Talk.
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  I am excited for today's episode because I only have to do 4
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  verses this time. And today's verses are First
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  Timothy chapter 3, verses 4 through 7, First Timothy 3/4
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  through 7. And we've been talking in the
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  letter from Paul to Timothy about the local church and what
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  it looks like to worship, to pray, to evangelize for those
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  that are leaders within a church, what they should not be
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  like, what they should be like. And so that's where we were last
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  episode is we walked through verses one through 3 and saw the
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  list of characteristics for those that would be in the
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  senior leadership of a local church.
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  Scripture only talks about two types of church leaders, elders,
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  sometimes called pastors and deacons.
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  And so the first of these elders, or what is called a
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  little bit less than elders, overseers, and least of all
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  pastors or shepherds, we read this in verse #1 I'm going to
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  read through into where we're at today.
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  If you want any specification on any of the descriptions that are
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  given of the kind of character that an overseer or an elder is
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  to have, you can watch that last episode.
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  Or you can look over at my episode in Acts 20 or the one in
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  First Peter 5 or the episode, the legacy episode that we did
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  in Titus chapter 1 for more details on any of those.
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  Says if anyone aspires to be an overseer, he desires a noble
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  work. An overseer therefore must be
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  above reproach. The husband of one wife, self
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  controlled, sensible, respectable, hospitable, able to
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  teach, not an excessive drinker, not a bully, but gentle, not
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  quarrelsome, not greedy. And then here we have our verses
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  for today. He must manage his own household
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  competently and have his children under control with all
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  dignity. If anyone does not know how to
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  manage his own household, how will he take care of God's
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  church? He must not be a new convert or
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  he might become conceited and incur the same condemnation as
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  the devil. Furthermore, he must have a good
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  reputation among outsiders so that he does not fall into
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  disgrace and the devil's trap. So kind of the main thought that
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  we're going to be looking at today from these verses is the
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  fact that God has His church organized like a family.
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  And in the church family there are, if you will, church
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  fathers. So here's what we're going to
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  look at first, then in verse #4 so an overseer, a pastor, after
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  all of these other characteristics that we've
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  looked at, he must manage he overseas, his own family, his
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  own household competently and have his children under control
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  with all dignity. OK, here's what I want us to
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  notice here. First there in the beginning of
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  verse 4, to manage one's household competently.
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  When you yeah, I'm sure you guys have seen this many times when
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  you have walked into some people's house and it is just
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  mayhem. There is chaos for you to walk
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  into this persons home. You know this is just going to
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  be a madhouse. That is not to be the situation
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  with a person that would be an overseer or an elder of a local
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  church. Instead the kind of if you will,
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  the kind of father, the kind of leader that he is in the home
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  shows that he is capable of leading people as exemplified by
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  his own wife and kids. And during this time period, if
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  you had any like household servants that would also fall
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  under your household, Can I ask you today, what is your house
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  like? Is your house a place of chaos
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  and disorder? Is your home a place where there
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  is not peace or any sort of, I'll say organization?
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  Not in a sense that often it's used nowadays of, you know, it's
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  everything and it's perfect box. And if you pick up an item, does
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  it bring you joy? And have you removed all the
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  items that don't bring you joy from your house?
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  Not that kind of thing. But is your home a place where
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  both you and those that you have over can find some peace?
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  Now that is a tough ask. I have toddlers right now.
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  And so even with, well, I keep saying that my, my daughter is 3
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  1/2, so she's almost out of the toddler stage.
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  My son at the time that this episode releases, he'll be like
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  a week or week and a half away from turning 6 years old.
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  So they're not really toddlers anymore.
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  I got to stop saying that on the podcast.
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  I've got young kids and so they love making messes.
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  And so actually that's meant for me as I'm trying to manage my
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  household competently. I am trying to help teach them,
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  Hey, when we play with toys, we put them back.
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  When we take off clothes, it goes in the hamper or you know,
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  we, we fold them, we put them nicely into our bed so that we
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  have her our pajamas for that night.
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  You know, if there's trash, I had to make sure that I don't
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  just say, ah, well, Samantha, one of the kids will take care
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  of that. No, though I need to have that
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  desire to take care of those things.
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  Do you realize here all of these things that we've been looking
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  at for an overseer, These are all characteristics that all
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  Christians should share. Every Christian ought to be self
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  controlled. It's one of the fruit of the
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  Spirit. Every Christian ought to be
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  hospitable. Every Christian ought to be not
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  a bully but gentle. Every Christian ought not to be
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  an excessive drinker. Like all of these things are for
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  all Christians and those that follow that path of what
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  Christian should be, those are the people that we look at to be
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  our church leaders, not just those that make the most money,
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  not just those that are the most charismatic, not just people
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  that want to be leaders. What matters is our character.
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  And so how we live, how we if you quite literally, how we live
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  within our home plays a part in our character.
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  And so do you view your home life as something that is
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  valuable and important. Now here what's not strictly in
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  view is, you know, the chaos of your home.
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  It specifically deals with the people within the home and for
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  elders, for overseers. What that means is that we need
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  to be able to lead the one or three or five people that the
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  Lord has already given us before we attempt to lead anyone else.
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  That we would say, I, just like a elder, would teach other
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  people the word of God and would encourage them in their walks
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  with the Lord and would give them scriptural advice.
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  Are you doing that within your own home, if you will?
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  Every father, every husband is a pastor of a church.
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  They're a shepherd. They're one that would seek to
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  guide others within their home or perhaps I know of many people
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  and friends that I've had over the years that they are women
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  and their husbands either do not know the Lord at all or profess
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  to know the Lord. But it doesn't actually impact,
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  you know, their their schedule, their words, their finances, any
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  of that kind of stuff. And so I've seen women that have
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  faithfully taking their kids to church when their husbands would
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  not, and women that would consistently pray for and love
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  their husbands in a way that guides that husband towards
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  follow Jesus. Just like I am exemplifying for
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  you, if you will, it's setting the example within the home.
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  And so every, every father is called to be one that would
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  guide and set the example for the home.
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  That's not to say like women do whatever you want.
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  You don't have to be an example. No, you follow Jesus too.
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  And especially if your husband isn't setting the example for
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  what it looks like to follow Jesus, you set the example from
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  the word of God. You live out your Christian life
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  and live it and help those around you help your kids help
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  your grandkids help your your spouse to know what it looks
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  like to follow Jesus because they can just look at you that
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  is here predominantly what is in mind as Paul tells this to
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  Timothy, someone that would pastor those that would be an
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  elder overseer in their church. They are pastoring their family
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  well and that based on that case study they can be trusted to
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  pastor the the larger church. I'll tell you guys just
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  transparently. I was 26 years old when I came
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  here to Tabernacle and began pastoring. 5 years before that
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  I'd come to Moses Lake Baptist Church in Moses Lake, WA and was
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  made a music and discipleship pastor there.
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  I don't totally know if, as I look back over the course of my
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  life, I don't know that I would have called Brian Self a pastor
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  at that point. Like at 21, I think it was 21
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  years old when I came to Moses Lake.
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  I don't know that I would have called Brian Self a pastor.
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  Now, I might have said, you know, here's here's our music
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  director or something like that. I don't know that anyone could
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  have said, oh, yes, Brian is pastoring his home very well at
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  21. Now, by 26, I had some kids.
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  I had, you know, been married for five years at that point.
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  And so Lord willing, there was able to be that fruit scene that
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  people could say, oh, yes, I, I do see he leads, he pastors his
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  family. Well, now, if a person is not
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  married or does not have kids, this does not mean, OK, well, we
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  really shouldn't consider them as a pastor because if they
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  don't have a household, how can we tell if they manage their
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  household well? Well, this can go for maybe a
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  person and isn't married or doesn't have kids, but how do
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  they interact with perhaps their parents if they have, you know,
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  siblings, nieces or nephews or even within the church, you can
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  have your spiritual brothers or sisters or a man can be a
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  disciple in some people. And you can just see through his
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  life. He is already doing the
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  pastoring work. He's already doing the leading
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  by example in the Jesus way. He's already doing that.
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  And so this is what Paul tells Timothy.
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  Find people that are trustworthy and competent to be able to lead
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  others, beginning with their own home, no matter how gifted or
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  charismatic a person might be and a great orator, all that
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  kind of stuff. If he cannot, if he cannot lead
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  his family, if they have no respect for him, if there is no
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  like obedience or respect from his children, if there is just
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  total opposition and hurt from his wife that she goes, OK,
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  yeah, he he talks all this stuff, but the way that he lives
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  doesn't back this up at all. And so I don't want to mimic him
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  because I've seen the way that he truly lives.
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  That should be a disqualifying thing that we would say, OK,
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  that person, man, like they are trying their best to follow
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  Jesus. They are actually really good at
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  explaining God's Word, but because of what their home life
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  is like, they would not be good at shepherding others because
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  right now they're not good at shepherding those that God has
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  already given to them. So that's one consideration that
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  we have. That's something that has to be
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  prayerful. And frankly, I've seen that
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  applied in various different ways across churches, like the
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  way that a given church or a given group of elders will give
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  that evaluation and what amount of, you know, a person's
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  leadership is on them versus how much is OK the the people in
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  their home. You know, me as a dad, I can't
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  determine what Samantha is going to do.
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  Like I can't, I can't make a choice for B or for Evelyn on
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  what they are going to do each and every day.
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  I can lead them. I can with my kids, I can tell
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  them what to do. I can have, you know,
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  consequences for specific actions or attitudes or words.
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  And I can try and be consistent, but I can't control them.
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  They're they're not puppets. And so churches and existing
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  pastors or elders will weigh differently how much is on the
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  prospective elder that they would say, OK, yes, he he is
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  doing what he's supposed to be doing.
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  These people aren't receiving it well.
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  But we can tell he is attempting to manage his household
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  competently. So I say all of that.
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  That is a really, really tough discussion.
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  And so I want to encourage you like pray for your pastors, pray
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  for your elders as they have to navigate through some of these
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  situations as Lord willing, you know, they continue to train up
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  men and as God brings more, more pastors, more shepherds on that,
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  those are considerations that they have to make.
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  So pray for your pulpit search committee, pray for your elders
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  or whatever that looks like in your context.
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  Pray for them and pray for your pastors.
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  Pray for your elders that they would continue to manage their
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  household competently, that they would faithfully shepherd those
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  that God has given them so that they are able to shepherd well
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  all of the rest of God's family, which is exactly what verse 5
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  says. If anyone does not know how to
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  manage his own household, how will he take care of God's
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  church? I also wanted to mention there
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  at the end of verse #4 that he has his children under control
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  with all dignity. That what is in mind here,
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  knowing what I know about the Old Testament, is that you would
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  not have what happened with Samuel.
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  You wouldn't have what happened with what was Samuel's
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  predecessor's name. Man, it has totally skipped my
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  mind. I'm going to go over to First
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  Samuel chapter 1 because I know that's where it's found, but I
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  cannot remember that guy's name, Eli, the priest Levi.
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  So what is in mind here is that you would not have what happened
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  with Eli, with Samuel, or with David, that in those stories,
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  each of those men were good, godly guys, but their sons were
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  wicked people who were actively sinning.
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  That were Eli's sons actually were committing sexual
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  immorality within the Tabernacle with women in Israel.
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  It was just an awful, horrible thing that was taking place.
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  So, but what we're told in those stories is that those fathers
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  did not tell their sons no, there were no consequences for
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  the actions that they were doing.
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  And they had responsibility to constrain, to stop the evil that
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  was going on, but they refused. And so here what Paul tells
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  Timothy is those that are going to be leaders in the church
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  should not be like those guys. Instead, for as long as you have
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  kids in your home, they ought to be under control there.
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  They can be told no. There can be consequences for
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  their actions. So want to encourage you, if you
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  have kids, it is your responsibility to tell them no.
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  It is your responsibility to have there be consequences for
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  their actions. If there are never any
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  consequences for your children when they do what is wrong, you
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  are training them up in a bad way.
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  They will continue to ignore God and all authorities as as we
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  abdicate our responsibility to show them what good authority is
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  supposed to look like. So if you're a parent, take your
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  job seriously. It's part of your character how
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  you raise your kids. Set boundaries for your
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  children. When they break those
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  boundaries, hold them accountable.
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  Have there be consequences. Do it.
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  Do it lovingly. Do it with a care for their
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  soul. Let them know that even when
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  they fail that it doesn't take away your love for them, but
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  that it helps mold our character as we learn to submit first and
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  foremost to God and then to the other authorities that God has
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  in our lives. OK, verse number six.
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  He must not be a new convert or he might become conceited and
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  incur the same condemnation as the devil.
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  You can think of Satan's sin as pride and arrogance where he
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  says I will be like the Most High, I will ascend to the
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  mountain of the Lord. That was Satan's pride and his
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  arrogance. And so he was brought down
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  because he thought that he was something special.
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  And a lot of times when there's a new convert.
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  They can be lifted up really fast into leadership if they're
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  particularly charismatic or gifted, or they're able to learn
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  a lot of the Bible quickly. And so people will put new
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  Christians into positions of leadership or prominence, and
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  it's really bad for their souls because they begin to think that
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  they are someone special. Yeah, I, I think that's all I'll
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  say about that at the moment. Then verse #7 Furthermore, he
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  must have a good reputation among outsiders so that he does
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  not fall into disgrace and the devil's trap.
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  Our testimony towards outsiders, towards those that do not know
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  Jesus is important. When the outside world looks at
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  Brian, they need to be able to say, all right, I might not
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  agree with his Jesus stuff, but I I do believe that he is
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  genuine. I think he's wrong, but he's
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  genuine. When the world goes no, like
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  they are fleecing those people. He is, you know, actively
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  sinning. He's, you know, pursuing
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  extramarital affairs. He stole from this business that
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  he, you know, lied on his taxes in this when the outside world
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  looks and they see someone that would be judged in the world
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  leading a church man that brings that brings reproach on the name
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  of Christ. And so it's the reason why, like
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  if Brian ever screws up and does something that I should not do,
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  my church should not be like, OK, well, how can we cover this
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  up? How can we, you know, kind of
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  shuffle this under the rug? We really like our pastor.
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  We'll keep him. No, no, no, for the sake of
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  Jesus, throw me under the bus and whatever I or any other
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  pastor do like we are deserving of the condemnation that we get
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  from the world when we choose to not follow Christ in our words
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  and in our actions and behavior. It is really important because
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  if we're going to reach the World, we should not be behaving
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  or speaking in such a way that the world goes, man, that is
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  super messed up. Like this is a criminal.
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  This is someone that is clearly in the wrong and so why in the
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  world would we believe the Jesus people when the Jesus people are
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  embracing wickedness? There are a lot of weird
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  applications people have made that at times. 1 instance that
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  was kind of in the news recently was one of the elders, one of
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  the lay elders of a church in Minnesota serves in our
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  Immigrations and, and Customs Enforcement.
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  And the, the church had a bunch of protesters that came in
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  during the Sunday morning worship service and disrupted,
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  disrupted the church service because of the elder that just
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  has a government job. And I saw some people that tried
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  to apply this particular verse to that situation.
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  But the truth is, if we're going to have a government at all,
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  then I would hope that there would be some faithful, godly
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  men with good, godly characteristics like we've been
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  reading about. And that those would be the best
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  people in the world at, you know, Immigrations and Customs
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  Enforcement because they would be led by the Spirit of God that
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  they would not have, if you will, if they're aligned with
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  Jesus. They don't have racial animosity
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  towards someone that what they do, they do with reserve that
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  they are gentle in the way that they are treating, that they
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  have kindness in the way that they are interacting with those
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  that are being deported or those that are being held that they
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  would care for the needs of people.
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  And so that would be, to my mind, the best kinds of people
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  that you would want in positions of government.
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  So I I wanted to mention that just because I've seen it in the
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  cultural zeitgeist recently as pertaining to this particular
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  verse, but the point of the verse is not do people do people
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  in the world like you? The question is, are they able
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  to say, hey, here is this wrong, here's this wickedness, here's
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  this evil that they are doing and especially in that
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  situation, it was not, hey, he has taken this course of action.
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  We saw this thing or that thing that he did.
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  It's kind of a wholesale. We are against this division of
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  the government or we're against their placement right here,
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  right now in our state and in our city.
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  And so we are going to disrupt a church because one of their
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  elders serves in this capacity in our government.
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  And certainly that should not be something we ever do.
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  You can have a whole lot of of disagreements with a variety of
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  governmental things, but the answer would never be, hey,
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  we're going to disrupt a church's worship.
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  That should not be the right course of action, especially as
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  Christians, as believers, Jesus gives us what to do?
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  Go and talk to that person. And as we do that, as we follow
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  God's way, Lord willing, he is glorified, and his work
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  continues in some great ways. Well, next episode we're looking
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  at what are deacons like? And we're going to be looking in
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  particular at verse #11 on why some churches have only male
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  deacons and why many churches have deaconesses.
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  And we're going to see from those verses, all right, is this
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  OK? Is this acquiescence culture?
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  Which one is it? So in case I haven't angered
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  people enough already, I'll see you next episode.