Latest / AWAKEN with Dylan Ayaloo: Inner Work, Healing, Yoga & Meditation / [EP4] Should you leave your loved ones behind?

Transcript

[EP4] Should you leave your loved ones behind? · AWAKEN with Dylan Ayaloo: Inner Work, Healing, Yoga & Meditation

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  This is your question of us. I've only just realized how much we exist inside a matrix and have become somewhat indoctrinated. By the way, things have always been done without necessarily stopping to question it, nor whether it serves us anymore. The deeper I get into my inner work journey, the more I see it, the lemming behavior, and see myself stepping out of it. And by consequence, the more distance I feel.
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  from even my closest of friends and family who don't see it or don't want to see it.
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  I feel like I have less time and space for them in my new life and vision.
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  A voice in my head says this is massively arrogant of me, if I'm encouraged to be honest.
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  I do carry some judgment of both them and myself when I put myself back inside the box with them.
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  My question is, how do I reconcile myself with the quite painful truth that
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  those I love the most, maybe not those that I need the most in my life?
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  And if I'm less judgmental of myself when I step back inside the matrix,
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  will it help me become less judgmental of those who choose consciously or not to stay there?
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  The first thing I would say, which you probably heard me say multiple times over the years,
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  is you're the one doing the work and they're not.
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  If you're doing this work, if you're doing any amount of inner work from yourself,
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  of transformation work. You're the one doing the transformation work, not them. So what it should,
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  would, could do for you, this work, is that it expands your capacity for compassion and
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  holding space for others. Now, it doesn't mean you have to put up with people's bad behavior,
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  but it affords a greater capacity without sounding,
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  oh, we are better than, if you're working on yourself, it's better than others.
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  Because sometimes I've found people who I thought were, I don't know,
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  are very aware of themselves.
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  Sometimes they make certain choices and say certain things,
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  and I'm like, wow, that's actually pretty deep.
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  Or there's a lot of awareness in that,
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  something they've just brought to the table,
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  acted without explaining it.
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  Don't underestimate those around you, especially family and all, maybe some
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  friends, some close friends, that everyone's on their journey and careful not to
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  fall into the trap of, oh, I'm working on myself, so I'm better than them.
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  Which I guess is the part where you're saying like arrogance.
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  And the ego is arrogant, right?
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  That's kind of how it, that's the word ego itself, right?
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  person's ego-centric. What are they saying? It's a certain kind of arrogance, right, to that person.
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  So that's the first thing I would say that be aware and to keep in check the minds, the ego,
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  that you don't go into, oh, I'm better than them or that person or those people, even if they are
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  really close to you. And it's always easier to see other people suffering outside of their stuff.
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  That's for every one of us.
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  When you're in your own process, it's hard to see your own things.
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  We're in our own rollercoaster and it's hard to see that we are in our own rollercoaster
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  and which way and what and how and all that sort of stuff.
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  But someone who's outside of it and see, hey, your rollercoaster start there,
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  goes up and down, spins around, and then does a backflip, and then you start again.
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  And you've been doing this cycle over and over again.
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  It's always easier to see someone else's stuff.
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  Don't underestimate that loved ones around you, even if you might think that they're not very aware, that they can't see your stuff just like you can see their stuff because they're having to deal with you in whatever amount of time you're in contact with them.
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  They don't need an introduction to it because it's slapping them in the face every day.
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  Our behaviors, our actions, our choices, the people around us have to deal with just like
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  you're having to deal with those around you.
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  As you're expanding your awareness, it expands your compassion and your ability to hold space
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  for other people and their journey and their process.
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  Let them make their choices, let them make the so-called mistakes and love them anyway.
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  I think that's what I've learned from this work.
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  It teaches us to give room for those that we love to be them.
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  So I say, let them be them and you be you.
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  And it's also okay for you to take your space.
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  don't have to be indoctrinated or cajoled
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  or into their choices
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  and how they choose to live their life
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  because well-meaning as they may be,
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  well-intentioned as they may be,
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  sometimes, especially if they're not very aware of themselves,
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  they might have certain ways of trying to
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  force you into their way of living.
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  Or even if they're not doing that,
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  you feel you're putting pressure on yourself to just follow along and make certain choices,
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  whether it's the little things like food that you guys would eat when you hang out with each other
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  or drinking. I guess what I'm saying is that you can be you, right? Let them be them, you be you,
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  they be them. And give space for them to be them and take space for you to be you. Don't wait for
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  them to give the space, just take your space, whoever in our lives to give us the space.
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  And then when they don't, because they don't have the capacity, the awareness, we get angry,
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  resentful, right?
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  And those kinds of things, which is unfair as well.
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  You know that someone doesn't have the capacity and then you put them into a position where
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  you're expecting them to give you the permission that they are not even aware that they have
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  give you that permission. And it's not even, they don't have the power to do that. Just give yourself
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  the permission, take the space, let yourself be and make the choices that you want to make.
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  You don't have to apologize for it. It is your life. Once you become an adult, it's your life
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  and you're responsible for it. All the choices, the good, the bad and everything in between.
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  We just have to wear it, but we don't want to. So it's easier to put it on others around us.
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  this whole thing about
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  how do I reconcile myself
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  with the quite painful truth
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  that those that I love most
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  are maybe not those
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  that I need most in my life.
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  My question to you would be
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  how do you know
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  they're not the ones you need?
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  Is it coming from
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  the perspective of minds
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  that you are better than them
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  because you've done some work
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  or any work
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  or a lot of work on yourself?
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  I think we can fall into the traps, which I would call arrogance of the mind.
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  And who's to say that if in their limited ways, they are wrong or lesser than or not
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  so great, sometimes in the very simple ways of people around us, life expresses itself
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  in very profound yet simple ways.
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  and sometimes people in their simple choices,
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  there's a profoundness in that simplicity, for example.
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  I guess what I'm saying is that you don't have to reconcile it.
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  You don't need them because you don't know whether you need them or not.
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  They're there in your life.
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  And we could talk on energetic levels even.
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  Maybe your soul chose them, right?
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  Like our soul chose to be around these other souls in this lifetime.
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  Even on an energetic level, we chose it.
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  But in this human plane of existence, this physical plane of existence, yeah, lifetime is quite a long time, seems like, or long enough. Sometimes, right, like on one perspective, it's really quick and it just goes, and another perspective is, okay, you got some time.
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  so you can make those choices that feel right for you and not feel that you have to put yourself in
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  a box and follow what you think they've said to you or they've actually said to you so then you
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  act in a certain way meaning i think it and then i made it up and they didn't say it to me it's all
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  in my head basically these are all different levels to bring awareness into right when you
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  are looking into this aspect, I would say.
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  If I'm less judgmental of myself and I step back into the matrix, will it help me become
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  less judgmental of those who choose consciously or not to stay there?
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  From my experience over the years, the way to receive more love is to first give it to
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  yourself.
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  The way to receive more compassion or be more compassionate in the world is to first give
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  it to yourself and receive it from yourself.
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  So the same thing here, it's will you be less judgmental with others?
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  The practice of being less judgmental with others and more accepting of others is to
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  be more accepting of yourself.
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  Therefore, we are then less judgmental and more accepting.
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  It's like the pathway is open because you've given it to yourself.
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  Therefore, what we are able to give to others is the same pathway that is used, what we
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  receive and give.
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  So if you want love, you need to be able to give it to yourself first.
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  the path to, it's opened up the path to give as well. Same with any of this judgment acceptance.