Latest / Just Be True ~ A Soul-Led Podcast / When Nothing Is Wrong: Understanding the Quiet Internal Shift After Survival Mode

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When Nothing Is Wrong: Understanding the Quiet Internal Shift After Survival Mode · Just Be True ~ A Soul-Led Podcast

0:14
Hello and welcome back to Just Be True a soul
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-led podcast and this podcast was born from a
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deep desire to live authentically to strip away
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the mask expectations, the old stories, and remember
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who we truly are. In each episode we explore
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what it means to live in harmony with your soul's
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truth through real conversations, intuitive guidance,
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and powerful moments of reflection. And so today
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we are here to talk about the understanding the
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quiet internal shifts after survival. So there's
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a season that doesn't get talked about enough.
1:00
It's the season where nothing is falling apart,
1:05
nothing dramatic is happening, there's no crisis
1:08
to solve, and yet something inside of you feels
1:13
very different. You look around and you think,
1:17
everything's fine, so why do I feel so unsettled?
1:21
If that's where you are right now, are something
1:24
that you have been recently experienced and even
1:27
if you found yourself in a whirlwind of change
1:30
this episode is definitely for you. Today we
1:35
are going to talk about what happens after survival
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mode. The quiet internal shift that comes when
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the urgency fades but the identity you built
1:47
during that urgency still hasn't quite caught
1:50
up with you. Survival mode is sneaky. Sorry.
1:59
Sometimes it looks like chaos. Sometimes it looks
2:03
like high performance. Sometimes it looks like
2:07
being the strong one. The capable one. The one
2:10
who handles everything. You know, when you're
2:15
in survival mode, that's what you do. You do
2:17
all of those things, right? You deal with the
2:20
chaos, the high performance, being the strong
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one, the cable one, the one that makes everything
2:24
happen. And in survival mode, you move because
2:29
you have to. Your nervous system is activated.
2:35
Your focus is sharp. You are solving, you are
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fixing, managing, holding. And often, You don't
2:44
even realize it until you're in the middle of
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it you know or until you're done with it like
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like the Survival mode is done and over with
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and that is when you realize how Tight and wound
2:59
up you've been right and because survival mode
3:02
can last for months years Sometimes decades and
3:07
then one day it softens Here's the part no one
3:15
is prepared for, is when that crisis ends. When
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the financial stress stabilizes, when the relationship
3:24
tension shifts, when the job transition settles,
3:30
your body doesn't immediately relax. It doesn't
3:34
trust calm right away because calm feels very
3:39
unfamiliar. You've been running on purpose,
3:43
on responsibility on urgency and now now there's
3:52
a space and space can feel disorienting you might
3:57
notice your motivation dips the feel of emotional
4:05
for no clear reason right you may question yourself
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even more You may question your decisions or
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you may even question your emotions or how you're
4:14
feeling about something. You may feel restless
4:17
even when nothing is wrong. And your mind might
4:24
say, why am I like this? I should be better by
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now. The stress is over. We got that maintained.
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You know, that is done and over with.
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What you're going through isn't regression, it's
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an integration. Integration is what happens when
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your body finally feels safe enough to stop performing
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strength. It's the exhale you've postponed for
4:57
years. It's the tears that didn't have time to
5:01
fall. And it's the nervous system asking, can
5:06
we rest now? sometimes rest feels terrifying
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when you're when you've known it all along when
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the only thing that you can remember for the
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past months and decades and years is is motion
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stress overwhelminess and overdoing that rest
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can feel very terrifying so Integration is what
5:40
happens when your body and your nervous system
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finally has a space to process what your mind
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pushed through. When you were surviving, you
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didn't have the luxury of feeling everything.
5:56
You had to move, you had to make decisions, you
6:00
had to handle it, you had to stay upright, keeping
6:04
things going and keeping you in motion. And now
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that that urgency is softened, like that urgency
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is no longer there, your body is saying, okay,
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now can we process? And processing doesn't always
6:22
look productive. It can look like sudden waves
6:29
of emotion, fatigue that you can't explain. questioning
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decisions that you've already made and craving
6:40
stillness but also feeling uncomfortable in it
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many of us have had moments where we had stillness
6:51
or downtime and felt out of sorts in strange
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territory and unable to appreciate the moments
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of stillness to relax to truly allow the body
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to release the tension that it's been holding
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onto. Integration in your system reorganizes
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itself through safety instead of pressure. Imagine
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that. Is your identity loosening the grip of
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who you had to be so you can discover who you
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are without bracing? And that can feel messy
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and unstable. Because the old drive, the one
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that fueled by adrenaline, are proving, is starting
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to dissolve. And the new drive, the one rooted
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in alignment and calm, hasn't fully formed yet.
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So you sit in this strange in -between space,
8:00
less reactive, less urgent, but not fully clear
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and that space that space is sacred it's where
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the nervous system learns to pace and that peace
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is not a threat it's where your energy has the
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time to recalibrate and it's where your next
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vision of yourself begins to take shape quietly
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without forcing it. And it's okay to take time
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here to breathe in with that calm. So here's
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what's really happening. The version of you that
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knew how to survive is gently stepping back and
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that identity can be hard to release. Maybe you
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were the fixer, the provider, the strong one,
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the overachiever, the one who never falls apart.
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Who are you when you are not needed in the same
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way? Who are you when you are not proving your
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resiliency? And who are you when strength isn't
9:32
required, only presence? These questions can
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feel very destabilizing. And it's also where
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freedom lives. That version of you that was so
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powerful, but she was built for a specific season,
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right and now something softer is emerging something
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that doesn't operate from urgency something that
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doesn't need to be proven something that doesn't
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thrive on pressure and that can feel like losing
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yourself but it isn't it's a becoming becoming
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who you are meant to be calm collective, mindful
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and relaxed in life. You were never created to
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be in survival mode and on high alert. So I completely
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understand being in that survival mode. I lived
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it for decades and way, way too long. I am actually
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still in the process of regulating to this new
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version of who I am. And even though this process
11:02
can be emotional at times, and believe me, it
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is, I am enjoying the new version of me that
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is arising. And I am enjoying observing this
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process. So some of you may know. I worked for
11:20
the federal government for 22 years until I was
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laid off last April. And when I left my 22 -year
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career, I was actually relieved. I felt the best
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I had felt in a long time. I walked out of there
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in an amazing mood. I was happy. I was... Felt
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uplifted. I had co -workers calling me crying
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and I was like on top of the world and they just
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couldn't talk to me Because I wasn't in that
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sad I Wasn't in that space Right. I actually
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felt relieved I know that That layoff was the
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was a blessing and something in my soul had been
12:12
yearning for. But the aftermath of that, the
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allowing myself to pause, to slow down, and the
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recalibration, that part has been the challenge.
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I was used to being on all the time. I was a
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leader, I was a supervisor, I was a decision
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-maker in my career. I oversaw staff, contracts,
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grants, organizational budgets. It was a tremendous
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amount of responsibility and it was an atmosphere
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in which I thrived in. I was a go -getter and
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I loved being in the know and the go -to person
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that everyone could depend on. I loved that and
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I thrived in that space. I was trained to think
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quickly, to respond immediately, to anticipate
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problems before they even surfaced. My body was
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conditioned to stay alert. And then... And then
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it was all gone. No staff meetings. No crisis
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emails. No decisions waiting for me to take care
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of. And my nervous system did not know what to
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do with that. And still... And still doesn't
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sometimes. You know and there is no time frame
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of how quickly we should regulate from being
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in that survival mode Being in that state of
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relaxation and being There's no timeline There
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are moments when I catch myself expecting to
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be on you know scanning for the urgencies waiting
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for something to require me to be in that on
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mood the same way but there is no on not anymore
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now you may be saying summer come on look look
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at everything you're doing you have a business
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you have a podcast you do blogs you do classes
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you're constantly creating and you're absolutely
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right but there's a difference. Before I was
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operating on responsibility, on the having to,
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the requirement to, the expectation of, but now
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I operate from resonance. I operate from what
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feels right. Before I was operating on responsibility,
15:00
pure responsibility, before my energy was outward
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and driven, Now it's aligned and flowing. I don't
15:10
feel overwhelmed. I don't feel pressured. This
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all feels very easy and very welcoming. What
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I'm building now often feels different in my
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body. It doesn't feel like bracing. It doesn't
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feel like proving. Doesn't feel like I'm carrying
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any weight Today what I'm doing feels like expression
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Very fulfillment and stepping out and doing things
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new It feels like I'm moving because I want to
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not because I have to and that shift from pressure
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to purpose Takes recalibration and it takes time
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So when my system flares up and believe me it
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does when anxiety shows up without a reason I
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don't shame it I pause I Breathe through it deep
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breaths deep belly breaths slow integrated breathing
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And I remind myself I am safe in this new space.
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I connect with that anxiety, that overwhelming
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feeling, and I ask, where is it coming from?
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And I listen. Realizing that this is not collapse,
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but understanding that this is expansion without
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force. And I am still learning how to live in
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this space. You know and I don't strive for perfection
17:06
accolades or awards I strive for fulfillment
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and doing what I am called to do and Doing what
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feels right for my soul You know and I give you
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permission to do the exact same thing So, you
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know, there can also be grief in this space.
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Grief from the adrenaline, grief from the version
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of you who held everything together, grief from
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the identity that gave you structure. And even
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if you don't want that life back, even if you're
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very grateful that it's over and you can't even
17:58
imagine going back, There's still a letting go
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that has to take place and that letting go can
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feel like Floating in between those two worlds
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You know not who you were Not who you're fully
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becoming you're just kind of in the middle and
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that middle space again is very sacred Even if
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it feels uncomfortable it's very sacred and it's
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where you're adjusting and learning in becoming
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the new version of you. And allowing that grief
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to flow is so important. Don't ignore it. Don't
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shame it. Be with it and allow it. When we live
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in survival mode long enough, our nervous system
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begins to equate safety with alertness. Your
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system learned that being kept alert kept you
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safe Being needed kept you valued Being productive
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kept you secure So when things get quiet Your
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body can begin to whisper are we missing something?
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Is something about to go wrong? Like we're waiting
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for that next shoe to drop So when things come
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down and the body can interpret that as Unfamiliarity
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and that unfamiliar can feel very unsafe This
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is why you might create problems in your mind
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you might feel anxious when things are quiet
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you might Want to look for something to fix?
19:49
Your body is recalibrating. This is not work.
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This is not weakness. This is not failure. This
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is rewriting and This phase requires gentleness
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So please give yourself grace as you're moving
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through this change So instead of forcing clarity
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instead of demanding motivation instead of trying
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to Figure out what's next. What if you allowed
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this to be a transition, a re-patterning, a resting?
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What if nothing's wrong? Imagine that. What if
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your system is simply learning how to exist without
20:39
bracing? Oh, that feels like a breath of fresh
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air. There is strength in the softness. there
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is power in not pushing and there is wisdom in
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letting your next self arrive slowly no need
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to rush be in that flow of allowance and acceptance
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and get comfortable with the stillness and with
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the quiet This is often the space where people
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come to me not because something's broken But
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because something is shifting the urgency is
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gone But the identity hasn't quite caught up
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and an energy work and sound baths and nervous
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system support through counseling and through
21:38
Reiki and through you know my spiritual Life
21:43
coaching What we're really doing is helping the
21:48
body feel safe enough to soften We're not fixing
21:52
or stabilizing we're allowing that integration
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and Sometimes that's the most important work
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here So I say find you someone that you can work
22:04
with someone that you trust someone that resonates
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with you And allow your body your nervous system
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to go through this transition of healing and
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stabilizing so if you're listening right now
22:30
notice your shoulders notice your jaw notice
22:38
if you're subtly bracing are you holding tension
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in these areas? now take a slow deep breath in
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long exhale out let your body practice being
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safe for 10 seconds that's it 10 seconds and
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if you're in a season where nothing is falling
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apart but you feel different uncertain quieter
23:31
more emotional or even less driven than before
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it's okay allow yourself to pause place one hand
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on your heart two if you need to and remind yourself
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this is not a breakdown this is recalibration
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you survived and now you're learning to live
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without bracing and that may be the bravest work
24:16
you've ever done. It takes time and it is perfectly
24:23
okay and you are allowed. So if this episode
24:35
resonated with you I invite you to sit with it
24:38
gently this week and if you need support during
24:42
your integration season You can find my sessions
24:46
and offering on my website just-be-true .com.
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I encourage you to find someone to work with,
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someone that you feel safe with, someone that
25:02
you're comfortable with. It doesn't have to be
25:04
me, but it needs to be someone. Even if it's
25:07
a friend just to help you work through it. It's
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perfectly fine. so we're still in season one
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next episode is episode three grief when love
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life and identity change and that's going to
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be released on march 12th so please be on the
25:30
lookout for it the newsletter that supports episode
25:36
two will come out next tuesday which i believe
25:41
March 3rd so if you haven't signed up for my
25:48
newsletter or my blogs check out the show notes
25:51
the show notes are gonna have links to my website
25:54
the newsletter sign up and so much more so to
25:59
support your journey and your navigation through
26:04
life and what's going on so just be true to you
26:12
The rest will align, I promise, and believe in
26:18
this next version of you that is continuing to
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unfold. And until next time, thank you for being
26:26
here, thank you for listening, and I will see
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you on March 12th.