Latest / Andy Stanley Sermons / Andy Stanley - The Surprising Solution to Overthinking with Jon Acuff
Transcript
- 0:05Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, Welcome to the Andy Stanley Leadership podcast to
- 0:08Speaker 1: conversation designed to help leaders go further faster. I'm Andy Stanley,
- 0:12Speaker 1: and today I am joined by my friend, famous author, speaker, leader.
- 0:17Speaker 1: I knew him before any of that was true, my
- 0:20Speaker 1: good friend John Acuff.
- 0:22Speaker 2: John, Welcome to the podcast studio.
- 0:25Speaker 3: Thanks for having me Andy. It's fun to we were
- 0:27Speaker 3: just talking before we turn on the air that we've
- 0:30Speaker 3: done this for fifteen years together, so it's fun to
- 0:32Speaker 3: have a bunch of history between us.
- 0:34Speaker 1: Yeah, and just again watching your career in the last
- 0:38Speaker 1: nine years specifically, it's just been amazing. Before we jump
- 0:42Speaker 1: into content. For those of you who don't know, John
- 0:45Speaker 1: is an INK Magazine Top one.
- 0:46Speaker 2: Hundred leadership speaker.
- 0:48Speaker 1: He has spoken literally to hundreds of thousands of people
- 0:50Speaker 1: at conferences and for company events around the world. And
- 0:54Speaker 1: when I say companies, I mean like FedEx, Nissan, Microsoft, Lockheed, Martin,
- 0:58Speaker 1: Chick fil A, and Comedy Central, which isn't a complete
- 1:01Speaker 1: surprise because John is one of the funniest people you
- 1:03Speaker 1: will ever meet.
- 1:05Speaker 2: He's also a New York Times bestselling author.
- 1:07Speaker 1: Of seven books, including Finish, Give Yourself, The Gift of Done,
- 1:11Speaker 1: which was a Wall Street Journal number one best seller,
- 1:14Speaker 1: which was amazing. His latest book, Soundtracks, is what we're
- 1:17Speaker 1: going to be talking about the subtitle The Surprising Solution
- 1:21Speaker 1: to Overthinking. But before we jump into that, John just
- 1:24Speaker 1: reminded me years ago, my son Andrew, I guess he
- 1:28Speaker 1: was in high school at the time, and he comes
- 1:31Speaker 1: home with a book and it's was it your first book?
- 1:34Speaker 3: John? Y? Was my first book? Stuff Christians like?
- 1:36Speaker 1: Yeah, stuff Christian's like. And I'm like, Andrew, where did
- 1:39Speaker 1: you get the book? And he bought it and I
- 1:40Speaker 1: think it was the first book he ever bought with
- 1:42Speaker 1: his own money.
- 1:43Speaker 2: So there you go.
- 1:45Speaker 3: That's the highest compliment a teenager can pay you, By
- 1:47Speaker 3: the way, is when they buy a book like that,
- 1:50Speaker 3: is that is the highest compliment.
- 1:52Speaker 2: And then read it. Yeah, I may be the first
- 1:54Speaker 2: book he ever read. I don't know. I don't think
- 1:56Speaker 2: he's ever read any of mine. Anyway.
- 1:59Speaker 1: The reason that, well, one of the reasons we have
- 2:01Speaker 1: John today is because recently, a few months ago, I
- 2:04Speaker 1: actually heard him teach the content that we're going to discuss,
- 2:07Speaker 1: and I immediately turned to my producer and said, hey,
- 2:09Speaker 1: we please, let's get John on the podcast to talk
- 2:12Speaker 1: specifically about this. So anyway, John, so thrilled that you're here.
- 2:16Speaker 1: The title of the book is Soundtracks, and I have
- 2:18Speaker 1: to let you know up front and our audience up front.
- 2:21Speaker 1: I'm going to interrupt you two or three times because
- 2:24Speaker 1: there were things that jumped out to me and hit
- 2:26Speaker 1: me personally with this content that I just am going
- 2:30Speaker 1: to I'm just going to have to reiterate, and I
- 2:31Speaker 1: hope I don't interrupt too much, but it was so
- 2:35Speaker 1: powerful to me. And I've heard you speak so many
- 2:37Speaker 1: times and your content is always so practical, but I
- 2:40Speaker 1: don't know. Something about this just got to me. So
- 2:43Speaker 1: to get started. What is the core of the soundtracks message?
- 2:47Speaker 1: What's kind of the kind of the bottom line big
- 2:48Speaker 1: picture for this book?
- 2:50Speaker 3: Yeah, so the core is really about overthinking, and specifically
- 2:54Speaker 3: about changing overthinking from a super problem and do a superpower.
- 2:58Speaker 3: When I was writing the book, I was shocked how
- 3:00Speaker 3: many resources said just stop thinking, stop thinking, stop thinking.
- 3:04Speaker 3: And number one, that's impossible, meditation, quiet times great, that's
- 3:08Speaker 3: ten minutes and thirty minutes of your day, what about
- 3:10Speaker 3: the other twenty three and a half hours? And number two,
- 3:12Speaker 3: we're designed to think. It's a real gift to be
- 3:14Speaker 3: able to think. The joke I sometimes do is every
- 3:17Speaker 3: blue Jay has built the same exact nest as every
- 3:20Speaker 3: other blue Jay. There's never been a blue Jay that's
- 3:22Speaker 3: like thinking about doing a townhouse, you know. I really
- 3:24Speaker 3: want to expand something in Buckhead, something kind of modern,
- 3:28Speaker 3: like a post modern and so, but we have the
- 3:30Speaker 3: ability as humans to think. And so the term soundtracks
- 3:33Speaker 3: are just my phrase for a repetitive thought I thought
- 3:36Speaker 3: you have again and again and again. And the reason
- 3:39Speaker 3: I use that phrase was in a movie, when a
- 3:41Speaker 3: movie starts, the soundtrack can change the entire emotional feel
- 3:45Speaker 3: of what's going on, and often you don't even notice
- 3:47Speaker 3: it's playing. And that's what our thoughts do too, And
- 3:50Speaker 3: so I liked it as an easy handle for people
- 3:52Speaker 3: to go, oh, that makes sense to me about how
- 3:55Speaker 3: my thoughts work.
- 3:56Speaker 1: Yep, and again in a movie, because that's a great
- 3:58Speaker 1: analogy is what we're seeing doesn't change, but suddenly the
- 4:03Speaker 1: soundtrack changes, and our emotions immediately change all of a sudden.
- 4:08Speaker 1: I know something good is going to happen, something bad
- 4:10Speaker 1: is going to happen, just just because of the soundtrack.
- 4:13Speaker 2: And you make the point in the.
- 4:14Speaker 1: Book this is why it's so powerful that our thoughts
- 4:16Speaker 1: do the same thing to us in spite of circumstances
- 4:20Speaker 1: that have or have it changed. So anyway, So like
- 4:22Speaker 1: a movie soundtrack, thought soundtrack doesn't.
- 4:24Speaker 2: Have to be loud to be powerful.
- 4:26Speaker 1: So again, before we dive too far, do you give
- 4:28Speaker 1: us a couple of examples or an example of a
- 4:31Speaker 1: maybe a subtle soundtrack that kind of runs in the background.
- 4:35Speaker 3: Well, one that I've thought about a lot. I interviewed
- 4:37Speaker 3: a manager and he told me John, twelve years ago,
- 4:39Speaker 3: I got fired from my job, and he said, I
- 4:41Speaker 3: recently noticed that every time I'm at work and a
- 4:45Speaker 3: door closes for a meeting I'm not part of. I
- 4:47Speaker 3: start to go, why am I not in that meeting?
- 4:49Speaker 3: Who's in that meeting? The other powerful people in that
- 4:51Speaker 3: meeting are important to what's the agenda? And let's say
- 4:54Speaker 3: and so then I you know, you pull the thread
- 4:56Speaker 3: on that and go, let's say he does that ten
- 4:57Speaker 3: minutes a day, you know, five times a week. What's
- 5:00Speaker 3: the big deal it's fifty minutes. Well, the big deal
- 5:02Speaker 3: is over the twelve year period he's been doing that,
- 5:04Speaker 3: that's the equivalent of sixty two eight hour workdays, and
- 5:08Speaker 3: so what I often say is that overthinking steals time, creativity,
- 5:12Speaker 3: and productivity. So that's a really subtle one where he
- 5:16Speaker 3: didn't even notice he was doing that. I want one
- 5:19Speaker 3: that's kind of funny for me is I didn't realize
- 5:21Speaker 3: until my forties that every time I see a scary
- 5:23Speaker 3: scene in a movie, I pulled my feet off the floor.
- 5:26Speaker 3: And I tracked it back to in the fourth grade
- 5:28Speaker 3: I saw Jaws. I saw the movie Jaws, and I
- 5:30Speaker 3: thought the floor was water and so andy. I'm not exaggerating.
- 5:33Speaker 3: If I watched a scary trailer of a movie right now,
- 5:36Speaker 3: my feet would lift off the floor. So one day
- 5:38Speaker 3: I'm in AMC and I'm like, why am I doing
- 5:40Speaker 3: uncomfortable yoga to get my feet off the floor. And
- 5:43Speaker 3: I realized, oh wait a second, I think a shark
- 5:45Speaker 3: might grab me during this tent scene in a movie
- 5:48Speaker 3: that doesn't involve sharks. And that's a funny example. But
- 5:52Speaker 3: what happens you're talking to leaders today. I'll give you
- 5:55Speaker 3: a leader example. I meet leaders who are thirty eight,
- 5:58Speaker 3: forty two, and they're getting more opportunities and more leadership invitations,
- 6:02Speaker 3: and they're pulling back or worse, they're self sabotaging. And
- 6:05Speaker 3: if you pull the thread, you realize that at fifteen,
- 6:07Speaker 3: at sixteen, at twenty two, somebody in authority said you're
- 6:10Speaker 3: not a natural leader. And they've listened to that soundtrack
- 6:13Speaker 3: for twenty years. So even though their entire company, entire
- 6:16Speaker 3: church is saying we see something new, we see something new,
- 6:19Speaker 3: they're soundtrack. They've they've been listening to it for twenty years.
- 6:22Speaker 3: It's up against a loud wall of sound. And so
- 6:24Speaker 3: those are some simple examples.
- 6:26Speaker 1: Yeah, the one for me that I immediately thought of
- 6:28Speaker 1: when I was looking at this content is and I
- 6:31Speaker 1: won't tell the story, but two incidents when I was
- 6:33Speaker 1: younger basically said to me, Andy, you're not smart, and
- 6:37Speaker 1: I I mean, Sandra laughs at me. And there have
- 6:40Speaker 1: been so many opportunities that I have and I guess
- 6:43Speaker 1: this is part of the reason this content hit me
- 6:45Speaker 1: so hard that I have talked myself out of of course,
- 6:49Speaker 1: I made up excuses. Really, they weren't reasons. They were excuses,
- 6:52Speaker 1: those paper walls that hold us in. And it was
- 6:54Speaker 1: this in the back of my mind. And I'm going
- 6:56Speaker 1: to give an illustration a few minutes that just I
- 6:59Speaker 1: talked myself out of opportunities because I was so intimidated
- 7:02Speaker 1: because it's like, you're not smart enough for that, You're
- 7:04Speaker 1: not smart enough for that. So these things are so
- 7:07Speaker 1: subtle and they are not helpful. So anyway, going back
- 7:10Speaker 1: to kind of the big picture overthinking, because that's what
- 7:13Speaker 1: the soundtrack is connected to.
- 7:14Speaker 2: Overthinking.
- 7:15Speaker 1: So how do you define overthinking? And again what's the
- 7:18Speaker 1: connection between the two?
- 7:20Speaker 3: So I define overthinking as when what you think gets
- 7:22Speaker 3: in the way of what you want. So you see
- 7:24Speaker 3: something maybe.
- 7:25Speaker 2: As a leader stot way, you have to stop there.
- 7:27Speaker 2: That's such a big idea.
- 7:28Speaker 1: What when what you think gets in the way of
- 7:32Speaker 1: what you want? And every single person listening, it won't
- 7:36Speaker 1: take you thirty seconds before you come up with a
- 7:38Speaker 1: personal illustration of what you were thinking got in the
- 7:42Speaker 1: way of what you wanted. Okay, keep going.
- 7:46Speaker 3: Well. An example would be we all want happy marriages,
- 7:48Speaker 3: and then all these extra thoughts that we add to
- 7:51Speaker 3: the conversation get in the way of that. So that's
- 7:53Speaker 3: how I to find it. An example of a goal
- 7:56Speaker 3: that a lot of people have where thoughts get in
- 7:57Speaker 3: the way would be eighty one percent of Americans, according
- 8:00Speaker 3: to the New York Times want to write a book
- 8:01Speaker 3: eighty one percent. It's one of our most popular goals.
- 8:04Speaker 3: And every year, if you look at Amazon Publishing, less
- 8:07Speaker 3: than one percent of people do. So you go, well,
- 8:10Speaker 3: why does that happen? And a big part of it
- 8:12Speaker 3: happens because people go, Okay, this has to be the
- 8:14Speaker 3: perfect book. This has to like I'll go, why are
- 8:17Speaker 3: you writing the book? And they'll say, so that my
- 8:19Speaker 3: dad knows my career choices, we're correct, And I'm going, what,
- 8:22Speaker 3: that's a lot of pressure on a book, Like it's
- 8:24Speaker 3: already hard. Don't add that extra thought, like you'll never
- 8:28Speaker 3: do it if that's the thought that's behind it. So
- 8:30Speaker 3: that's what I mean is that it gets in the
- 8:32Speaker 3: way of what you desire. And the thing is, the
- 8:35Speaker 3: things you desire, the things you're designed to do, they
- 8:37Speaker 3: don't go away. They often turn into bitterness. Like I'll say,
- 8:40Speaker 3: like goals you don't finish don't disappear. They turn into
- 8:43Speaker 3: these ghosts that haunt you. And the thing where the goal,
- 8:46Speaker 3: Andy is a goal is not just a goal. It's
- 8:47Speaker 3: a promise, and it's a promise you made to your team,
- 8:49Speaker 3: a promise you made to yourself. And every time you
- 8:51Speaker 3: break that promise, it's easier to break the next one.
- 8:54Speaker 3: So that's where it gets really tangled. Where the core
- 8:57Speaker 3: thought throughout the book is your thoughts turn into your action.
- 9:00Speaker 3: Actions turn into your results. And all too often leaders
- 9:02Speaker 3: over focus on their results they want, and they never
- 9:05Speaker 3: change the underlying thoughts that are shaping the entire culture
- 9:08Speaker 3: and the entire actions, and so they don't get real results.
- 9:11Speaker 3: That's the challenge with overthinking.
- 9:13Speaker 1: And so one of the things you say, too is
- 9:14Speaker 1: that because I would have gone here, that overthinking isn't
- 9:18Speaker 1: a personality trait. And when either I heard you say that,
- 9:22Speaker 1: I read that and I thought I'm an enneagram one.
- 9:25Speaker 1: And I remember I Kron when he told me I
- 9:27Speaker 1: thought I was a five. He said I was a one,
- 9:29Speaker 1: and I said, no, I think I'm a five. He said,
- 9:30Speaker 1: do you have an inner critic? And I said, well,
- 9:33Speaker 1: everybody does. He said no, they don't. And so when
- 9:37Speaker 1: I think about overthinking, I tend to think, well, this
- 9:39Speaker 1: is kind of a personality thing. But you make the
- 9:42Speaker 1: point persuasively that know that everybody, whether you have an
- 9:46Speaker 1: inner critic or not, the tendency to overthink things and
- 9:48Speaker 1: to allow those soundtracks to talk us out of things
- 9:51Speaker 1: is pervasive.
- 9:52Speaker 2: Everybody struggles at some level.
- 9:54Speaker 3: It's a human thing, it's a brain thing. I mean
- 9:56Speaker 3: we So this is a PhD named Mike Peasley who
- 9:59Speaker 3: helps me with the research which we asked ten thousand
- 10:01Speaker 3: people if they struggle with overthinking, and ninety nine point
- 10:04Speaker 3: five percent of people said yes, So we can simplify
- 10:06Speaker 3: it even further. An example would be if you've ever
- 10:09Speaker 3: told yourself an elaborate story about why somebody didn't text
- 10:12Speaker 3: you back. So you texted somebody, you waited ten minutes,
- 10:15Speaker 3: you waited an hour, they never responded, and you start
- 10:17Speaker 3: to tell a story. Are they mad? Did I say
- 10:19Speaker 3: something wrong? Should I've said something different? If you've ever
- 10:22Speaker 3: reread an email you already sent, that's overthinking. That thing
- 10:25Speaker 3: is gone. Reading that email a week later does nothing.
- 10:28Speaker 3: Or if you've ever self edited an idea so before
- 10:31Speaker 3: it even left your head and on a piece of
- 10:33Speaker 3: paper you said, somebody smarter's already done that. So a
- 10:35Speaker 3: more talented leader, a better leader, has already thought that.
- 10:39Speaker 3: I don't need to write that down. And you think
- 10:41Speaker 3: about the works of art, the leadership ideas, the business ideas,
- 10:44Speaker 3: the cures for diseases we've lost because somebody self edited
- 10:48Speaker 3: and overthought. It's not just one personality. And it's funny.
- 10:51Speaker 3: Ian Crawn told me I thought I was a seven.
- 10:53Speaker 3: He said I'm a three. So I guess like he's just.
- 10:55Speaker 2: Going to take the test.
- 10:57Speaker 3: That's what I just said.
- 10:58Speaker 2: I was like to call Ian.
- 11:00Speaker 3: I was like, every test that I'm at seven. He
- 11:02Speaker 3: was like, you're pretty driven for a seven. I was like,
- 11:05Speaker 3: fair enough, fair enough.
- 11:07Speaker 1: The other thing I've heard you talk about is that
- 11:09Speaker 1: overthinking it is a form of fear.
- 11:12Speaker 2: Yeah, can you unpact that a little bit?
- 11:14Speaker 3: Yeah, So it's I call it the sneakiest, greediest form
- 11:17Speaker 3: of fear because of what it steals. It does steal. Yeah,
- 11:20Speaker 3: you know, think about the opportunities it stole from you
- 11:22Speaker 3: that you're mature enough to go, Hey, I'm not going
- 11:25Speaker 3: to dwell on those and replay those, but think about
- 11:28Speaker 3: the conversations it steals. Because you don't call the father
- 11:31Speaker 3: you haven't talked to in a month, and a month
- 11:33Speaker 3: turns into six months, and six months is a lot
- 11:35Speaker 3: harder than a month. You know, you don't write the book,
- 11:37Speaker 3: you don't go on the diet, you think, Okay, those
- 11:39Speaker 3: are for smarter, different, better, more talented people. That's the
- 11:43Speaker 3: thing that concerns me is one it steals opportunities. But
- 11:46Speaker 3: think about that manager we just talked about how much
- 11:48Speaker 3: time it stole from him that he could have done
- 11:50Speaker 3: something better with. Because if you said to him at
- 11:52Speaker 3: the beginning of the twelve year experience, hey, do you
- 11:55Speaker 3: want to donate sixty two eight hour workdays to a
- 11:58Speaker 3: thought that's not helpful? He would go, no, why would
- 12:02Speaker 3: I ever do that? And so that's what I really
- 12:04Speaker 3: think is like, it steals our most important things, which
- 12:06Speaker 3: is often our time, our creativity, and our opportunity. And
- 12:09Speaker 3: that's the nature of fear. Fear is a thief.
- 12:11Speaker 1: So the one that hit me is when I heard
- 12:14Speaker 1: you say the soundtrack that goes like this, somebody else
- 12:17Speaker 1: already did that.
- 12:18Speaker 2: Somebody else already did that, somebody else.
- 12:20Speaker 1: I mean when it comes to some big things that
- 12:23Speaker 1: I've wanted to do that I'm too embarrassed to even
- 12:25Speaker 1: say out loud, and specifically something I wanted to write,
- 12:29Speaker 1: And when I heard you talk about this, it just
- 12:32Speaker 1: put a circle in my mind around Andy, somebody's already
- 12:36Speaker 1: written that, and you don't know how to write that
- 12:39Speaker 1: way this it was specifically about a writing project I
- 12:42Speaker 1: have put off literally for years because the soundtrack of
- 12:45Speaker 1: you don't know how to do it? Number two, somebody's
- 12:47Speaker 1: already done it. And again, we're going to unpack this
- 12:50Speaker 1: a little bit more in a minute with these questions.
- 12:52Speaker 1: But when you went through these questions we're about to
- 12:54Speaker 1: go through, it just shredded my excuses. And then I thought,
- 12:57Speaker 1: how many other things to your point I I walked
- 13:00Speaker 1: away from or backed away from because I overthought it,
- 13:04Speaker 1: and essentially it was fear masquerading as reasons.
- 13:07Speaker 2: So this is such a big deal.
- 13:09Speaker 1: Okay, you specifically talk about how you approach writing a book,
- 13:13Speaker 1: and I thought this was super helpful.
- 13:15Speaker 3: Yeah, I think this is true. I kind of call
- 13:17Speaker 3: this my ven diagram for a best selling idea. And
- 13:19Speaker 3: that can be a book you write. It could be
- 13:20Speaker 3: a sermon series you give, It could be a business
- 13:22Speaker 3: you launch. I look for three things. Number One, I
- 13:25Speaker 3: look for a personal connection. So am I personally connected
- 13:28Speaker 3: to this content? Is there a real need in my
- 13:30Speaker 3: life that I want to address? I'm an overthinker, so
- 13:32Speaker 3: this one was obvious to me. Is there a need
- 13:35Speaker 3: are people talking about it? Do I see it in culture?
- 13:38Speaker 3: Does the survey say that people need it? And the
- 13:40Speaker 3: third is is there a spot in the marketplace for me?
- 13:42Speaker 3: Or is it already overcrowded? And I think if you
- 13:45Speaker 3: have all three of those, you can do amazing things.
- 13:47Speaker 3: I mean, my book finished. What you mentioned in the intro,
- 13:50Speaker 3: I was a chronic starter and I wanted to learn
- 13:52Speaker 3: can I turn into a consistent finisher? I had half
- 13:54Speaker 3: written books, half started diets, half written notebooks. Okay, there's
- 13:58Speaker 3: a personal connection. Second thing came up to me and said, John,
- 14:01Speaker 3: I liked your book start, but no offense. I've never
- 14:03Speaker 3: had a problem starting. I can start a million things tomorrow.
- 14:06Speaker 3: How do I finish? And I thought, oh, there's a need.
- 14:08Speaker 3: The third was I went to my marketplace, which is Amazon.
- 14:11Speaker 3: I typed in the word finish. The only thing that
- 14:12Speaker 3: came up was dishwasher detergent. Because we as Americans celebrate
- 14:16Speaker 3: the beginning of goals and we ignore the middle and
- 14:19Speaker 3: the end. So once I had that for the topic
- 14:21Speaker 3: of overthinking, I was able to say, Okay, what do
- 14:24Speaker 3: I really want to teach people? And Andy it boiled
- 14:26Speaker 3: down to three simple things because I like to take
- 14:28Speaker 3: complicated subjects and simplify them. Can you retire your broken soundtracks?
- 14:33Speaker 3: Can you identify the ones that are broken? Can you
- 14:35Speaker 3: replace them with new soundtracks? Your brain wants to think,
- 14:38Speaker 3: Your brain is waiting to be told with the thing.
- 14:40Speaker 3: And can you repeat those new ones so often they
- 14:43Speaker 3: become as automatic as the old ones. You can tell
- 14:45Speaker 3: I'm the son of a Southern Baptist minister with that
- 14:48Speaker 3: alliteration retire, replace, repeat, But that's what people do, and
- 14:52Speaker 3: that's how they work through the process of again flipping
- 14:56Speaker 3: overthinking into something that helps them versus something that hurts them.
- 14:59Speaker 3: So say those three it's retire your broken soundtracks.
- 15:02Speaker 2: So you've got it.
- 15:03Speaker 1: So we got to identify them, which I think in
- 15:05Speaker 1: a minute we're going about to it help some folks
- 15:07Speaker 1: identify them.
- 15:07Speaker 2: And then secondly, secondly, you replace them, so you replace
- 15:11Speaker 2: different soundtrack, Yeah.
- 15:12Speaker 3: New soundtracks, And that's challenging for people. That's a challenge
- 15:15Speaker 3: because we're not taught how to think often. And then
- 15:18Speaker 3: the third is you have to repeat them. You have
- 15:20Speaker 3: to repeat them and make them part of your life.
- 15:22Speaker 3: That was the interesting thing. The book came out and
- 15:24Speaker 3: forty eight hours later people go, hey, I retired and
- 15:28Speaker 3: I replaced, but it's not working. And I would say, well,
- 15:30Speaker 3: the book is forty eight hours old, so I know
- 15:32Speaker 3: you haven't had a chance to repeat them. It's the
- 15:33Speaker 3: same any people come up to you with diets and
- 15:35Speaker 3: will say, John, this exercise not working. I go, how
- 15:38Speaker 3: long did you do it for it? I've been doing
- 15:39Speaker 3: this exercise for ten days, So I go, how long
- 15:41Speaker 3: did it take you to gain the weight? They'll say
- 15:43Speaker 3: ten years. You gave the problem a decade to develop
- 15:46Speaker 3: and the solution ten days. That's so not nice to yourself.
- 15:50Speaker 3: Let's give the solution a little bit longer. And that's
- 15:52Speaker 3: the process. It's retire, it's replaced, it's repeat.
- 15:55Speaker 2: All right.
- 15:56Speaker 1: So we're about to get super specific, and this is
- 15:58Speaker 1: the content that just kind of knock me back on
- 16:00Speaker 1: my heels.
- 16:01Speaker 2: A little bit.
- 16:01Speaker 1: You talk about this thirty second exercise that really is
- 16:05Speaker 1: so powerful. So kind of walk us through this exercise
- 16:08Speaker 1: to help us get started in terms of identifying a
- 16:11Speaker 1: move and beyond unhelpful soundtracks.
- 16:13Speaker 3: Yeah, I love tactical solutions, so this one's really tactical.
- 16:17Speaker 3: All you have to do if you want to identify
- 16:18Speaker 3: a broken soundtrack, in your life is write down a goal,
- 16:21Speaker 3: Write down a dream, write down a hope, write down
- 16:24Speaker 3: a project. It can be anything. It can be I
- 16:26Speaker 3: want to lose ten pounds. It can be I want
- 16:28Speaker 3: to have a better relationship with my wife. It can
- 16:30Speaker 3: be I want to start a podcast, I want to
- 16:32Speaker 3: write a book. It can be anything. Write it down,
- 16:34Speaker 3: and then listen to your first thoughts. Listen to the
- 16:38Speaker 3: thoughts that come next. The way I say it, the
- 16:40Speaker 3: phrase I kind of use is listen to your reaction,
- 16:42Speaker 3: because every reaction is an education. Is your reaction? That's amazing, Andy,
- 16:47Speaker 3: you should write that book. You're the best to write
- 16:49Speaker 3: that book. You're qualified. It's time people are waiting on
- 16:52Speaker 3: that book. It's going to be a process you can do.
- 16:54Speaker 3: Or are they the reverse? Do they say, who are
- 16:57Speaker 3: you to think you can do that? Somebody smart has
- 16:59Speaker 3: already done that. Million other people have already done that.
- 17:01Speaker 3: Nobody wants that type of thing from you. It's failed before.
- 17:04Speaker 3: The last ten diets failed. Let's trot them all out
- 17:06Speaker 3: right now, why do you think you live it's going
- 17:08Speaker 3: to be any different? So you listen to Okay, what
- 17:10Speaker 3: was my reaction? Was it positive? And pushed me? Toward
- 17:13Speaker 3: action or is it negative? And kept me stuck.
- 17:16Speaker 1: And right now everybody listening just did that. They thought
- 17:19Speaker 1: of a goal, and they immediately bumped into the I
- 17:23Speaker 1: can't I'm too old, I'm too young, I don't have time,
- 17:25Speaker 1: I'm too big.
- 17:26Speaker 3: I don't have the money, I don't have the I
- 17:27Speaker 3: don't live in the right city, I don't have the
- 17:29Speaker 3: right opportunities my family, like a great woe would be well,
- 17:33Speaker 3: I didn't learn that in my family of origins, so
- 17:34Speaker 3: I can't do it. You haven't. I had a counselor,
- 17:37Speaker 3: say I said to him, I think I need to
- 17:39Speaker 3: stop blaming my parents, you know, for my mistakes. Now
- 17:42Speaker 3: that I'm in my forties, I haven't lived at their
- 17:44Speaker 3: house for thirty years. And he said, you lived at
- 17:46Speaker 3: their house until about a year ago. John, I was like,
- 17:48Speaker 3: oh my gosh, that is like put me in a
- 17:51Speaker 3: bunk back. But that's the like that becomes one of
- 17:54Speaker 3: those soundtracks. I didn't learn it. Like I've said that
- 17:57Speaker 3: to myself before, I'm not handy because I didn't learn
- 17:59Speaker 3: it when I was a kid. So for the next
- 18:02Speaker 3: forty years of my life, I can't figure out how
- 18:04Speaker 3: to change a light bulb because like at eleven, my
- 18:06Speaker 3: dad wasn't like, let me teach you how to whittle,
- 18:08Speaker 3: like what that makes no sense? But everybody, and I'll
- 18:12Speaker 3: give you a specific one. Somebody told me, Okay, John,
- 18:15Speaker 3: I wrote down that I want to get healthier. I
- 18:16Speaker 3: did your exercise. I want to get healthier. And then
- 18:19Speaker 3: they said, I immediately heard myself say, you're too old
- 18:21Speaker 3: for it. You're going to get injured if you exercise.
- 18:24Speaker 3: I've tried before and failed. What's the likelihood you'll accomplish
- 18:27Speaker 3: it now? And that's a really really easy example. And
- 18:30Speaker 3: then once you find one that's loud and in the way,
- 18:33Speaker 3: that's when you bring into three questions, which I like
- 18:36Speaker 3: to think of these as trojan horse questions. And you
- 18:38Speaker 3: kind of hinted at them already.
- 18:40Speaker 1: Yeah, here's the thing, all these these soundtracks to keep
- 18:43Speaker 1: us from doing things. Then we read an article about
- 18:46Speaker 1: someone who did something amazing, or read a biography and
- 18:49Speaker 1: they had ten thousand reasons not to start, not to finish,
- 18:55Speaker 1: not to try, I mean, and of course we're so inspired.
- 18:58Speaker 1: We've never been inspired by anyone who had everything lined
- 19:02Speaker 1: up for them and it went in their favor. We
- 19:04Speaker 1: wouldn't even be interested in that book, right, We are
- 19:07Speaker 1: only inspired by people who could have picked any one
- 19:10Speaker 1: of a hundred soundtracks, listen to it, and never done.
- 19:13Speaker 2: What they did.
- 19:14Speaker 1: So we know historically or even experientially with other people,
- 19:18Speaker 1: this is just silly, and yet it is so stinking real.
- 19:22Speaker 3: Here's another application of that. When a friend tells me
- 19:25Speaker 3: something they failed at or a weakness, I think immediately
- 19:28Speaker 3: they're so brave. That person is so brave. When I'm
- 19:32Speaker 3: gonna tell a friend something I failed it or something
- 19:34Speaker 3: I'm weak at, I think they're gonna judge me, think
- 19:36Speaker 3: I'm dumb, hate me, not want my advice anymore. So
- 19:39Speaker 3: like that's another one of those. Like when I see
- 19:42Speaker 3: somebody go here's something I fail that, I stand up,
- 19:45Speaker 3: I applaud. I'm like, it's so brave they did that,
- 19:48Speaker 3: Like they went there, they shared that. But again, when
- 19:51Speaker 3: I think about doing it myself and say to somebody,
- 19:53Speaker 3: I need community, I need help, I need accountability, I go, oh,
- 19:56Speaker 3: that's weakness. No, you got to fix that on your own.
- 19:58Speaker 3: Tell them about it a year later, once you've conquered it, Like,
- 20:01Speaker 3: don't don't share it in the moment and that's one
- 20:02Speaker 3: of those where broken soundtracks getting in the way of
- 20:04Speaker 3: real relationship. There's another thing about Okay, they steal. They
- 20:08Speaker 3: steal relationship cause you think I can't share this or
- 20:11Speaker 3: they're going to think and like even you saying today,
- 20:14Speaker 3: there's a writing project I've thought about. Specifically listeners right
- 20:18Speaker 3: now when they heard that win. But you're Andy Stanley,
- 20:21Speaker 3: like you're beyond overthinking, like you've written fifteen books, like
- 20:25Speaker 3: and you were honest enough to go no, like, hey,
- 20:28Speaker 3: there's a specific thing. That's that one got me. I'm
- 20:31Speaker 3: in Chicago on backstage at GLS and I was like, oh, shoot,
- 20:35Speaker 3: like John just stepped on my toes. He doesn't even
- 20:37Speaker 3: know I'm watching right now. So I think that's part
- 20:39Speaker 3: of it, is that it robs us of relationship, and
- 20:41Speaker 3: when we can share those broken soundtracks in community, amazing
- 20:44Speaker 3: stuff happens too. So that's that's what's fun about it.
- 20:46Speaker 1: Well, when I heard John share this content for the
- 20:48Speaker 1: first time, I was actually a backstage at an event
- 20:50Speaker 1: I was going to speak later, and I was trying
- 20:52Speaker 1: to go over my notes and ignore you, trying you
- 20:57Speaker 1: you literally were in the background, and I was just
- 21:00Speaker 1: trying to kind of get my head around what I
- 21:01Speaker 1: was going to talk about. And I finally just went
- 21:04Speaker 1: to the notes page on my iPad and just started
- 21:06Speaker 1: taking notes and thought, goodness, this may be why I'm
- 21:09Speaker 1: at this event to hear this.
- 21:10Speaker 2: Okay, so let's move on.
- 21:11Speaker 1: So we got these three great questions that we are
- 21:14Speaker 1: to ask every time the soundtrack begins to walk us
- 21:17Speaker 1: through those.
- 21:18Speaker 3: Sure, so I call these Trojan horse questions because you
- 21:21Speaker 3: know the words. You're not going to be impressed by
- 21:23Speaker 3: the words or all. They're simple words, but if you'll
- 21:25Speaker 3: actually ask them and in this order, you'll learn something
- 21:28Speaker 3: really important about yourself. The first question is is it true?
- 21:31Speaker 3: Is the thing I'm telling myself about myself? True? Is
- 21:34Speaker 3: the thing I'm telling myself about this friend? True? Is
- 21:37Speaker 3: the thing I'm telling myself about this relationship? True? I mean,
- 21:39Speaker 3: I know for me, there's times when I'm in some
- 21:42Speaker 3: sort of broken soundtrack loop about a business situation and
- 21:46Speaker 3: I'm telling myself that person's just out to get me,
- 21:48Speaker 3: and you go, wait a second, No, they're actually on
- 21:50Speaker 3: my side. We want the same thing, Like they're not
- 21:53Speaker 3: taking advantage of me, like we're trying to do that.
- 21:55Speaker 3: We both want to win like he wants to win.
- 21:57Speaker 3: He doesn't want us to both to lose. First question,
- 21:59Speaker 3: Is it true? I always say one of the greatest
- 22:01Speaker 3: mistakes you can make is assuming all your thoughts are true.
- 22:04Speaker 3: The funny thing, andy, is you never correct a thought
- 22:07Speaker 3: when it's lied to you. So everyone listening has had
- 22:10Speaker 3: a thought. Tell them that person's so mad at you.
- 22:12Speaker 3: They're so offended at that thing you said, like they've
- 22:14Speaker 3: been thinking about it all week, just like you have.
- 22:16Speaker 3: You then go interact with a person they've already forgotten
- 22:19Speaker 3: what you said. They weren't mad at you at all.
- 22:21Speaker 3: And you never go back to your thought and go, hey,
- 22:23Speaker 3: you lied to me that time. You got me on
- 22:25Speaker 3: that one. The next time you tell me something, I'm
- 22:28Speaker 3: not gonna believe it as quickly. First question, is it true?
- 22:30Speaker 3: Second question? Is it helpful? Is it helpful? Does it
- 22:33Speaker 3: push me forward or pull me back? When I think this? So?
- 22:36Speaker 3: Why do we ask more than one question? Because some
- 22:37Speaker 3: things in life are true but not helpful. Is it
- 22:40Speaker 3: true the manager we talked about could be fired again?
- 22:43Speaker 3: It is that's true? Is it helpful for him to
- 22:45Speaker 3: tell himself that again and again and again? Of course not?
- 22:48Speaker 3: And we did a teen version of this book called
- 22:50Speaker 3: Your New Playlist, because so many parents said, if I
- 22:53Speaker 3: could have learned how to change my thoughts as a teenager,
- 22:55Speaker 3: would have changed my whole life. And one of the
- 22:57Speaker 3: stories my daughter said, and they're my youngest daughter. She
- 23:00Speaker 3: failed a biology test and a month later she had
- 23:03Speaker 3: another one, And the night before the test, she was
- 23:05Speaker 3: telling herself, memory failed, remembory failed, rememory failed. Is it
- 23:08Speaker 3: true she failed that first one? It is true. Was
- 23:10Speaker 3: it helpful for her to remind herself that one hundred
- 23:13Speaker 3: times the night before? Of course not. And we said
- 23:16Speaker 3: to her, if a friend texted you one hundred times
- 23:18Speaker 3: tonight and said, hey, just wanted to remind you you
- 23:20Speaker 3: failed that last test, just wanted to remind you failed that, Like,
- 23:23Speaker 3: would that be a friend or a monster? Like the
- 23:24Speaker 3: answer is obvious. Third question, is it kind? Is it
- 23:28Speaker 3: kind to myself? If I said this to a friend,
- 23:30Speaker 3: would they still want to be my friend? And there's
- 23:32Speaker 3: all this science about psychological safety and kindness and the
- 23:36Speaker 3: role that plays on teams and individuals. So those are
- 23:38Speaker 3: three questions. If you can't say yes to all three
- 23:41Speaker 3: of those, it's definitely a broken soundtrack.
- 23:43Speaker 2: So here's how this played out for me.
- 23:45Speaker 1: So I'm listening to you, trying not to listen to you,
- 23:48Speaker 1: and I'm thinking about this writing project I want to
- 23:50Speaker 1: do that. I keep telling myself, I don't know how
- 23:52Speaker 1: to do it, and it's going to take me the
- 23:53Speaker 1: rest of my life.
- 23:54Speaker 2: Those are the that's the soundtrack.
- 23:56Speaker 1: I don't know how to write this and it really, seriously,
- 23:59Speaker 1: it's going to take the rest.
- 24:00Speaker 2: Of my life. Is that true?
- 24:02Speaker 1: Well, I don't know if I don't know how because
- 24:05Speaker 1: I haven't tried it.
- 24:07Speaker 2: And no, it's not going to take me the rest
- 24:09Speaker 2: of my life. I'm telling you. I was so hung
- 24:11Speaker 2: about that. And then is it helpful?
- 24:12Speaker 1: Is it helpful to allow those two thoughts to get
- 24:16Speaker 1: in the way of trying something I want to do? No,
- 24:19Speaker 1: it's not helpful. So I mean, retire, retire, and then
- 24:22Speaker 1: is it kind? Gosh, if somebody came up to me
- 24:25Speaker 1: and said, Andy, you don't know how to do that.
- 24:27Speaker 1: You're so slow, that's going to take you the rest
- 24:30Speaker 1: of your life.
- 24:31Speaker 3: I hope you don't die before you finish that project exactly.
- 24:35Speaker 2: So then no, lie.
- 24:37Speaker 1: The next week, I'm in the kitchen my son Garrett
- 24:40Speaker 1: and his wife Danielle, are over some of our family
- 24:43Speaker 1: and I mentioned this idea and she said, Danielle said,
- 24:48Speaker 1: I've told her this. She said, you should definitely do that.
- 24:50Speaker 1: That would be great, and she went on and on
- 24:52Speaker 1: and on, and immediately, what do I hear in my head?
- 24:56Speaker 1: Here they come again, And I'm like, nope, nope, nope,
- 25:00Speaker 1: it's not true, not helpful. And here is somebody who
- 25:03Speaker 1: I respect telling me the opposite. It's unkind again. Just
- 25:07Speaker 1: those three questions hold out up against those soundtracks and
- 25:12Speaker 1: not that we should always ignore every thought.
- 25:14Speaker 2: And you're not arguing that, no, no, no, we so
- 25:16Speaker 2: easily tark our way out of that. So is it true?
- 25:19Speaker 2: Is it helpful? Is it kind?
- 25:21Speaker 3: Well? And I still use those I mean, that's when
- 25:23Speaker 3: I knew soundtracks would be helpful for other people, is
- 25:26Speaker 3: that I still use them myself. What's interesting about your
- 25:28Speaker 3: example is it was related to something you've already done.
- 25:32Speaker 3: Think about the people that feel the pressure for something
- 25:34Speaker 3: they've never done. So, the people who have never written
- 25:36Speaker 3: a book, who have never shared an idea. You've done
- 25:39Speaker 3: that successfully and even still yeah, and still like it
- 25:43Speaker 3: said to you, you don't how you weren't thinking about
- 25:45Speaker 3: starting a cattle ranch. It wasn't like you're like, it's time,
- 25:49Speaker 3: you know, I'm gonna see if Sandra, I saw an
- 25:51Speaker 3: episode of Yellowstone like everybody else, I bought a hat,
- 25:54Speaker 3: like it's go tiling. You weren't like it wasn't you
- 25:56Speaker 3: were going to become a helicopter pilot. You were saying,
- 25:59Speaker 3: I like writing books. I have some success at that.
- 26:03Speaker 3: I think I might do another one. And even then
- 26:05Speaker 3: your thoughts were like, no, no way, dude, that's going
- 26:07Speaker 3: to take like forty years. Are you ready for a
- 26:09Speaker 3: forty Like every other book took a year or two,
- 26:12Speaker 3: this one will take forty and if we can share
- 26:15Speaker 3: them with each other, we can go wait a second,
- 26:17Speaker 3: that's not true. That's not well.
- 26:19Speaker 1: So again, these questions bring those lies out into the light,
- 26:23Speaker 1: and anything that gets exposed to the light, we see
- 26:25Speaker 1: it for what it is, and it's like, that's crazy.
- 26:27Speaker 1: So for everybody out there who does need exercise and
- 26:29Speaker 1: you're afraid you're going to get hurt, you might get hurt,
- 26:32Speaker 1: but you should exercise anyway, right, you should start that
- 26:35Speaker 1: diet anyway, you should start.
- 26:36Speaker 2: That business anyway. Okay.
- 26:37Speaker 1: So one of the biggest ways you encourage people to
- 26:39Speaker 1: identify and then kind of turn down those broken soundtracks
- 26:42Speaker 1: is through action. And you said if action eliminates overthinking.
- 26:47Speaker 2: I love this.
- 26:48Speaker 1: If action eliminates overthinking, then in action breeds it unpack
- 26:54Speaker 1: that for us.
- 26:55Speaker 3: Yeah, so there's a couple of things I think about that. One.
- 26:58Speaker 3: I'll relate it to loneliness too. I think the big
- 27:00Speaker 3: lie of loneliness is I need to spend some time
- 27:03Speaker 3: alone figuring out why I feel lonely. Like that's this
- 27:06Speaker 3: loop people get stuck in. They're like, I feel so lonely.
- 27:09Speaker 3: I'm probably the only one. I should really think through
- 27:11Speaker 3: why I feel lonely versus I need to be in community.
- 27:13Speaker 3: It's the same thing with overthinking. You go, man, I
- 27:16Speaker 3: really feel stuck overthinking. I should think about why I
- 27:18Speaker 3: feel stuck and add more overthinking to it, and so
- 27:22Speaker 3: versus going, Okay, I feel this way right now. I
- 27:25Speaker 3: have a lot of thoughts. I've asked the questions, now,
- 27:27Speaker 3: what am I going to do to turn down that overthinking?
- 27:30Speaker 3: What am I going to do to approach that? And
- 27:32Speaker 3: I really learned this lesson from a guy named David Thomas,
- 27:35Speaker 3: who's one of the lead counselors at this amazing organization
- 27:38Speaker 3: called day Star here in Nashville. I was talking to
- 27:40Speaker 3: him about overthinking and he said, well, John, the problem
- 27:43Speaker 3: is people want stress, overthinking, negative thoughts, whatever to be
- 27:48Speaker 3: a switch. We want to find a switch. I went
- 27:50Speaker 3: to yoga and it switched off stress forever. I read
- 27:53Speaker 3: a book and it switched off stress forever. And so
- 27:56Speaker 3: we find these things and we do them for a
- 27:58Speaker 3: week and we feel better. But then life gets stressful
- 28:00Speaker 3: again because life gets stressful, that's what life does. And
- 28:03Speaker 3: we feel like, wow, I failed. I need to go
- 28:05Speaker 3: find a better, different switch, and we jump jump jump,
- 28:07Speaker 3: jump up. We jump from job to job to job,
- 28:09Speaker 3: we jump from a relationship to relationship, hoping there's a switch.
- 28:12Speaker 3: He said, life is really a dial. When life gets
- 28:15Speaker 3: turned up loud, you get to turn it back down.
- 28:17Speaker 3: So you need to figure out what are some turndown techniques.
- 28:20Speaker 3: So when you have these moments, okay, And it can
- 28:22Speaker 3: be you have a note card on your wall that
- 28:24Speaker 3: says you know a soundtrack that you're working on replacing.
- 28:28Speaker 3: It can be you reach out to a friend. It
- 28:30Speaker 3: can be you go on a walk around your neighborhood,
- 28:32Speaker 3: but you actively say when life gets loud, when my
- 28:35Speaker 3: overthinking gets loud, I'm going to turn it back down
- 28:39Speaker 3: because that's my job, Like, that's my responsibility, it's my
- 28:42Speaker 3: privilege to do that, versus going I must have failed
- 28:45Speaker 3: because now I feel stressful again. Like and that's where
- 28:48Speaker 3: people get stuck is when they think life is a switch,
- 28:50Speaker 3: when it's really a dial. And once you realize it's
- 28:52Speaker 3: a dial, you go, oh, okay, I get to turn
- 28:55Speaker 3: it down. What's the list of things I use to
- 28:57Speaker 3: turn down?
- 28:58Speaker 1: And everybody I think has their It is different for everybody.
- 29:01Speaker 1: You say, for some people it's take a nap. I
- 29:03Speaker 1: love this one.
- 29:04Speaker 2: Just stop and write a thank you note.
- 29:05Speaker 1: There's something about gratitude that just pulls us out of
- 29:09Speaker 1: that funk. Because again, most of that is all about
- 29:12Speaker 1: we become the self ABSORBERB Well, think about this one.
- 29:14Speaker 3: If you're lonely. If you're lonely and you feel stuck
- 29:16Speaker 3: in loneliness sounds like your loneliness, go volunteer. Find a
- 29:19Speaker 3: thing you love and then guess who's going to be
- 29:22Speaker 3: there other people who love that same thing. And every
- 29:25Speaker 3: nonprofit in the in the country is going we wish
- 29:28Speaker 3: we had more volunteers. We wish we had more volunteers.
- 29:30Speaker 3: So like, that's one of those where it's about action.
- 29:33Speaker 3: You didn't think your way out of it. In a
- 29:35Speaker 3: moment of clarity, I like to say, in a moment
- 29:37Speaker 3: of clarity, write down your five things, write down your
- 29:39Speaker 3: ten things, because you're gonna forget them. That's the other thing.
- 29:42Speaker 3: Fear for steals good things. What is fear steal? It
- 29:45Speaker 3: doesn't steal bad things, it steals the good things. So
- 29:47Speaker 3: in a moment of clarity, write down, here's the five
- 29:50Speaker 3: to ten things that really light me up and really
- 29:53Speaker 3: calm the stress. And especially coming out of the last
- 29:56Speaker 3: two years, we've had to be able to say, oh,
- 29:59Speaker 3: I I guarantee if you get stuck into overthinking loop,
- 30:02Speaker 3: you'll look up and realize you haven't done seven of
- 30:04Speaker 3: those eight in two months. Like every time I rediscover running,
- 30:08Speaker 3: it's like finding an old friend and I go why
- 30:10Speaker 3: did I stop this? And my wife will sometimes say, John,
- 30:13Speaker 3: I feel like you should go run, And that's her
- 30:15Speaker 3: kind way of saying you are a huge jerk today.
- 30:17Speaker 3: Like I would love you to get some endorphins. The
- 30:20Speaker 3: family would appreciate you going on a run and I'm
- 30:23Speaker 3: often surprised at that. But a mile in I go,
- 30:25Speaker 3: where have you been running? Didn't leave? I forgot And
- 30:28Speaker 3: so a simple list like that can be one of
- 30:30Speaker 3: those small hacks when you're in a stressful moment.
- 30:33Speaker 2: Wow, So real quick list review.
- 30:35Speaker 1: So the soundtracks that we began the exercise by thinking
- 30:39Speaker 1: of a goal, something we want to do, something we've
- 30:41Speaker 1: always wanted to do, something we've dreamed about doing, and
- 30:43Speaker 1: then listen to those initial mental responses. Those are the
- 30:48Speaker 1: soundtracks we need to underline bold right down somewhere and
- 30:51Speaker 1: then begin to ask those three questions is it true?
- 30:54Speaker 2: Is it helpful? Is it kind?
- 30:56Speaker 1: And if that becomes the pattern, then essentially, you know,
- 31:00Speaker 1: to use a new Testament phrase, we're basically renewing our mind.
- 31:03Speaker 2: Yeah, to what is true? What should be true?
- 31:06Speaker 1: What you said about running the same is true that
- 31:08Speaker 1: funk that I immediately climb out of when I go exercise,
- 31:11Speaker 1: as much as I resisted, it's the same thing and
- 31:13Speaker 1: everybody again, those are life hacks that get us over
- 31:16Speaker 1: the edge again to be able to see clearly. So
- 31:19Speaker 1: there's so much more and if you gosh, you definitely
- 31:22Speaker 1: need to pick up the book. Soundtracks the surprising solution
- 31:25Speaker 1: to overthinking any closing thoughts, any final thing, I'd say
- 31:29Speaker 1: to us John, Yeah.
- 31:30Speaker 3: I'll hit you up with one more on repeat. So
- 31:32Speaker 3: we covered the first two. I'll give you a repeat exercise.
- 31:35Speaker 3: A great way to repeat a soundtrack is a tie
- 31:38Speaker 3: it to a symbol. So take something a soundtrack do
- 31:40Speaker 3: you want to believe in? Tie it to a symbol.
- 31:43Speaker 3: An example of that for me in my own life,
- 31:45Speaker 3: I was about to turn in a book and we
- 31:47Speaker 3: had a family vacation scheduled beforehand, and I knew that
- 31:49Speaker 3: I was going to be physically present and mentally absent.
- 31:52Speaker 3: I'd had enough evidence in my life that my wife
- 31:55Speaker 3: was going to say where are you? And she didn't
- 31:57Speaker 3: mean that like physically, she meant mentally where our So I,
- 32:00Speaker 3: before the trip said on a post it note, don't
- 32:03Speaker 3: miss it, and I wrote it down the phrase don't
- 32:05Speaker 3: miss it. I saw that phrase hundreds of times before
- 32:07Speaker 3: the trip. When we were in Jackson Hole, which is
- 32:09Speaker 3: where the vacation was, I was present enough to notice, well,
- 32:13Speaker 3: the pine cones and Jackson Hole looked different than the
- 32:15Speaker 3: ones we have in Nashville. And I picked it up
- 32:17Speaker 3: and I carried it back home two thousand miles and
- 32:19Speaker 3: it sits on my desk because I know there's gonna
- 32:21Speaker 3: be other moments I'll be tempted to miss. And so
- 32:24Speaker 3: the way you make a good symbol is really simple.
- 32:27Speaker 3: You find something that's personal, something that's visible, and something
- 32:31Speaker 3: that's simple. Personal so it's connected to you. Visible so
- 32:34Speaker 3: it's not in a drawer. You're actually bumping into it.
- 32:37Speaker 3: And simple so you actually use it. My favorite example
- 32:39Speaker 3: of a great symbol was the Nike Livestrong bracelets. They
- 32:44Speaker 3: were personal. You never met somebody andy that said, oh this,
- 32:46Speaker 3: I wear it because I hate disease. I have disease jewelry.
- 32:49Speaker 3: These are my eggs and my earrings. Like it was
- 32:51Speaker 3: always my aunt, my mother, my father in law. It
- 32:56Speaker 3: was personal, it was visible. Nike you could have made
- 32:58Speaker 3: it gray, they could have made it flesh tone, made
- 33:00Speaker 3: it bright yellow. And the third thing was it was simple.
- 33:03Speaker 3: Nobody was confused by a bracelet. Nobody said, so the
- 33:06Speaker 3: arm part goes in the whole part. So I would
- 33:08Speaker 3: just encourage anybody, if they've got a thought that they
- 33:11Speaker 3: want to believe, stack the odds in your favor. Because
- 33:14Speaker 3: we live in a really loud world. So if you
- 33:16Speaker 3: need to write it down on a note card, if
- 33:17Speaker 3: you need to pick up a pine cone, and I
- 33:20Speaker 3: guarantee it. After you listen to this episode, you're gonna notice, Wow,
- 33:23Speaker 3: my fridge already has a couple. My Night's on Stan
- 33:26Speaker 3: has a couple, my car dash has a couple, my
- 33:29Speaker 3: office has a couple. You're already using symbols. Now imagine
- 33:32Speaker 3: if you really supercharge them. That's how you repeat.
- 33:35Speaker 2: Wow, that's fantastic. Well, that's all the time we have today.
- 33:38Speaker 1: John, thank you so much for being here with us,
- 33:41Speaker 1: and to all of our listeners who want to thank
- 33:43Speaker 1: you for joining us.
- 33:43Speaker 2: And I want to make sure you check out John's.
- 33:45Speaker 1: Book soundtracks, The Surprising and it is Surprising because it's
- 33:49Speaker 1: so simple, The Surprising Solution to Overthinking wherever books are sold,
- 33:53Speaker 1: and be sure to visit.
- 33:54Speaker 2: Dandy Stanley dot com website where you can.
- 33:56Speaker 1: Download the Leadership podcast application Guy that includes a summary
- 34:00Speaker 1: of this discussion and questions for reflection or for group discussion,
- 34:05Speaker 1: as well as always, thanks so much for joining us
- 34:07Speaker 1: and we will see you back here next time on
- 34:09Speaker 1: the Andy Stanley Leadership Podcast