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Bonus IMPROV - The Chicken Pot Pie is Gone? · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  welcome welcome oh you've just entered a very fine dinner party we're having so much fun
• 0:20
  and uh very fine friends how are you francis me good yeah good good good good good good
• 0:26
  quite good oh god should we turn this quite good into some good improv yeah or some mediocre improv
• 0:34
  it hasn't happened yet we don't know joe can we get a good suggestion yes
• 0:39
  or a mediocre one or a mediocre one
• 0:42
  your suggestion is discontinued
• 0:46
  this one has the power to piss me off yeah i recently ran into something like this what
• 0:56
  Okay, so the perfume that I use.
• 0:58
  No.
• 0:59
  No.
• 0:59
  Well, it's still around.
• 1:01
  But they had a version of it that was cheaper that was just hair perfume,
• 1:06
  but was exactly the same as the regular perfume.
• 1:09
  But it was like $60 cheaper.
• 1:12
  Those assholes.
• 1:13
  And I went in to buy it the other day.
• 1:15
  And I was like, oh, do you have the hair version of this?
• 1:19
  And then they were like, oh, they discontinued that one.
• 1:23
  But you can still put the regular perfume on your hair.
• 1:25
  And I was like, I know that, but it doesn't save me 60 bucks.
• 1:29
  That's crazy.
• 1:30
  They probably figured out everyone was doing it.
• 1:32
  Yes, exactly.
• 1:33
  Damn, that sucks.
• 1:34
  I know.
• 1:35
  So I still got the perfume, but.
• 1:37
  Yeah.
• 1:38
  I hate that for you.
• 1:39
  Thank you.
• 1:40
  I don't have like a, well, actually I do have a specific example.
• 1:44
  The nacho cheese chalupa from Taco Bell.
• 1:46
  A perfect chalupa.
• 1:49
  I like the, like the Baja one better, I think.
• 1:53
  Did you ever have a nacho cheese chalupa?
• 1:55
  I don't know.
• 1:56
  It's gone.
• 1:56
  I can't.
• 1:57
  I can't now.
• 1:58
  Allegedly, they could still make it, but I don't want to do all that.
• 2:00
  I just want to say words and have you know what I want.
• 2:03
  Yeah.
• 2:03
  And these kids say, it's been over 10 years since it's been gone.
• 2:06
  They don't know.
• 2:07
  They don't know their history.
• 2:09
  Yeah.
• 2:10
  They don't teach a history class at Taco Bell.
• 2:12
  They should.
• 2:12
  They're not hiring creatives at Taco Bell anymore like they used to.
• 2:15
  Right?
• 2:17
  Now, what happened?
• 2:20
  The Collider was turned on.
• 2:23
  The Collider?
• 2:24
  Yeah.
• 2:26
  What does that mean?
• 2:28
  The Hadron Collider?
• 2:32
  Hadron?
• 2:33
  Am I making these words up?
• 2:34
  No, I mean, that sounds familiar, but I don't know what it means.
• 2:36
  They turned it on and it killed us and we split off into another dimension where it's shittier.
• 2:42
  Oh, when did they turn it on?
• 2:45
  I don't know.
• 2:47
  I'm going to say 2016.
• 2:50
  Okay.
• 2:50
  but that's all verifiable and
• 2:52
  people will know if I'm right or not
• 2:55
  I think you are
• 2:57
  in this dimension that we are in
• 2:59
  you are
• 2:59
  thanks
• 3:01
  you know what I'm upset about
• 3:04
  Mimi's Cafe
• 3:06
  you did not know
• 3:09
  did you know
• 3:09
  Mimi's Cafe used to be so
• 3:12
  freaking good
• 3:14
  those muffin baskets
• 3:17
  the caries and muffin
• 3:18
  butter
• 3:19
  and now it's like
• 3:21
  where's my muffin
• 3:23
  why am I paying for this
• 3:26
  the whole experience
• 3:28
  sucks
• 3:29
  wait does it still exist
• 3:30
  yes it does but not in the same way it not the same I know something about the food is different i used to go there and get a blackened chicken caesar and they serve me with a chilled fork i would get it was so good the then everyone was so nice and then one day
• 3:48
  the shitification happens is shitification your word it's their word and everything's different
• 3:58
  everything's changed you go and there's bright ass lights like why do you want us all to leave
• 4:03
  of the two times that i've been there it took like five minutes for someone to come over and
• 4:08
  see me when it was like an empty restaurant they're shocked they're open yeah that's what's going on
• 4:12
  and i used to go to this one in avondale with my dad and this one time i this is the one time i
• 4:17
  thought about stealing something um they had a brass like gramophone it was like just like decor
• 4:25
  it was like really nice like wooden brass and i'm like i want that so bad i'm like i'm gonna steal
• 4:32
  this thing and i don't remember who i was with probably my dad he's like you could tell i was
• 4:38
  like looking at me he's like no i'm like i want that and then i had like a big box with me like
• 4:43
  i'm gonna put the box over it and then i'm just gonna take it out like i had a plan i wanted this
• 4:48
  thing and i didn't take it because you know witnesses and i just wouldn't have and um later
• 4:58
  i couldn't stop thinking about it so i i like emailed the store and um they were i don't remember
• 5:05
  if they ever responded but the next time i went i was going to talk to a manager and they like
• 5:08
  it was gone the store was gone the whole store was gone it was no longer mimi's cafe
• 5:13
  someone stole the whole store
• 5:16
  someone put a box around the whole store
• 5:18
  and just took it
• 5:19
  I think they were going to remodel it
• 5:22
  so like when it opened again
• 5:23
  they probably would have just fucking given it to me
• 5:26
  yeah so it's too bad you didn't steal it
• 5:28
  that's the lesson here
• 5:30
  when you want something
• 5:32
  steal it
• 5:32
  not crime doesn't pay
• 5:34
  lack of crime doesn't pay
• 5:36
  you don't want to look back at all the
• 5:38
  Schlotzky's trays you could have had
• 5:40
  I don't really know what that means
• 5:42
  but yeah I guess
• 5:43
  Yeah, I, I, I'm just saying.
• 5:48
  So that's my story.
• 5:50
  Hmm.
• 5:51
  No, I'm sorry that happened to you.
• 5:53
  No problem.
• 5:55
  And now, improv.
• 6:04
  Hey, hon, welcome to the restaurant.
• 6:06
  What can I get you?
• 6:07
  Oh, hi.
• 6:08
  Oh, I don't know.
• 6:10
  This is my first time here.
• 6:11
  Oh, well, anything you want, babe.
• 6:12
  Look at the menu.
• 6:14
  Oh, thank you.
• 6:14
  Oh, it's extensive.
• 6:17
  Oh, yes.
• 6:17
  It goes on for pages and pages.
• 6:19
  Oh, okay.
• 6:22
  Oh, you know what I'm really in the mood for?
• 6:24
  Mmm.
• 6:24
  An omelet.
• 6:25
  I could kill an omelet right now.
• 6:28
  We just stopped selling those.
• 6:30
  What?
• 6:31
  Just now.
• 6:32
  Really?
• 6:33
  Oh, just, yep.
• 6:34
  I got a little notification.
• 6:36
  Oh, but you have eggs in other form.
• 6:39
  We do.
• 6:40
  But you can't, okay.
• 6:42
  Nope.
• 6:42
  I'm so sorry, but hey, look, thousands of other items.
• 6:47
  You're right.
• 6:47
  Okay.
• 6:50
  It's gone.
• 6:52
  What?
• 6:54
  I didn't even order anything yet.
• 6:56
  I just know what you're going to say, hon.
• 6:57
  Sorry, but it's all gone.
• 7:00
  The chicken paw pie is gone?
• 7:02
  What I done told you is gone.
• 7:04
  God, that's tough.
• 7:05
  That's tough.
• 7:05
  This never happens The picture looked just like my mom used to make it Oh gosh I sure that true Okay It a tough world out there ain it All right
• 7:16
  Would you like a water?
• 7:17
  Yes, please.
• 7:18
  Do water.
• 7:19
  Thank you.
• 7:21
  Ooh.
• 7:22
  What?
• 7:22
  Did you bring your own cup, hon?
• 7:24
  No, this is a restaurant.
• 7:25
  I thought you'd have cups.
• 7:26
  We do normally.
• 7:27
  I've got plenty of water.
• 7:28
  Oh, shoot.
• 7:28
  This never happens, hon.
• 7:30
  Where is the water right now?
• 7:32
  In the sink, hon.
• 7:33
  You were going to dip a cup into sink water and give that to me?
• 7:39
  It's proprietary, hon.
• 7:41
  Okay.
• 7:42
  Can I upsell you an alcoholic beverage?
• 7:46
  Well, I mean, quite frankly, yeah, I kind of would like a drink now.
• 7:49
  All right.
• 7:50
  I'm really confused by this restaurant.
• 7:52
  I've never been here before.
• 7:53
  Hey, owning a business is real hard.
• 7:55
  We're doing our best.
• 7:56
  No, I understand.
• 7:57
  I'm not trying to say that I know how hard the restaurant industry is.
• 8:00
  Oh, okay.
• 8:01
  Yeah, my uncle, he owned a restaurant.
• 8:03
  He's gone.
• 8:05
  Yeah, he's dead.
• 8:06
  Yeah.
• 8:07
  Yeah, you're right.
• 8:09
  That wasn't your doing, was it?
• 8:12
  I just got a notification.
• 8:13
  All I know is what's the truth.
• 8:14
  He's gone.
• 8:16
  All right, well, why don't you tell me what you still have?
• 8:19
  Okay, absolutely.
• 8:22
  That.
• 8:24
  Oh, we've got that.
• 8:25
  Oh, look at this.
• 8:26
  We've got that.
• 8:27
  Oh.
• 8:28
  You want that?
• 8:30
  Yeah.
• 8:30
  Or I'll put you down for two of these.
• 8:32
  A little surf and turf?
• 8:33
  Yeah, I'll do that.
• 8:33
  Yeah, why not?
• 8:34
  Let's write that down.
• 8:34
  Okay.
• 8:36
  It's gone.
• 8:36
  What?
• 8:38
  Already?
• 8:38
  The pen wouldn't even write.
• 8:40
  Your pen knows that it's gone?
• 8:42
  The pen knows.
• 8:44
  This is crazy.
• 8:46
  Maybe you shouldn't eat here.
• 8:48
  Wait.
• 8:50
  Wait a second.
• 8:53
  What?
• 8:56
  Are you trying to get me to leave?
• 8:59
  Why would I do that, Brittany?
• 9:01
  Brittany from high school.
• 9:03
  What?
• 9:05
  Why would I do that, Brittany Murch from high school?
• 9:09
  Hey, how do you know my name?
• 9:10
  How do you know my full name?
• 9:13
  How do you not know mine?
• 9:16
  I'm sorry.
• 9:17
  I don't remember.
• 9:19
  You also look like you're at least seven or eight years older than me.
• 9:23
  Let me put my glasses on and go ahead and put my hair gear on.
• 9:26
  Go ahead and do all the stuff.
• 9:27
  and cut my hair real quick and see
• 9:29
  then if you don't recognize
• 9:31
  Linda de Bloopy.
• 9:35
  Oh.
• 9:39
  Droopy de Bloopy.
• 9:42
  Oh.
• 9:42
  Now she's gonna remember.
• 9:44
  Well, now that I see you
• 9:45
  with your braced face and your boy
• 9:47
  haircut. Oh my god,
• 9:50
  Droopy, how have you been?
• 9:51
  Oh, thank you for just sticking with Droopy because I remember.
• 9:53
  That's what I know you by.
• 9:54
  It was either Droopy or Blooper.
• 9:57
  Yeah, and Blooper was really funny.
• 9:59
  Call me a big mistake.
• 10:00
  Yeah.
• 10:01
  I forgot about that.
• 10:02
  That was Chet.
• 10:03
  Chet came up with that.
• 10:04
  God, he was so hot.
• 10:05
  Do you remember how hot he was?
• 10:06
  I remember.
• 10:07
  The movie Never Been Kissed was based on us.
• 10:10
  Oh.
• 10:13
  Except for the version where she just doesn't get kissed, right?
• 10:17
  Because Chet never would.
• 10:18
  Chet wouldn't.
• 10:19
  And then you come in here to this restaurant that I worked so hard at, and you want our food.
• 10:25
  Yeah, well, this is a restaurant.
• 10:26
  I'm sorry that I mean, it looks like you used to step up from high school.
• 10:32
  How blooper.
• 10:34
  Yeah, it is.
• 10:36
  In two years, I'm going to be the assistant to the assistant manager.
• 10:40
  Wow.
• 10:41
  Is that like in high school when you used to carry around all the teachers briefcases And you open their doors for them
• 10:52
  No, it's different.
• 10:53
  I did that to be nice.
• 10:55
  I'd do this for money.
• 10:57
  Okay, all right.
• 10:58
  Well, I don't know what you want from me.
• 11:02
  An apology would be nice.
• 11:03
  Droopy.
• 11:05
  Don't call me that.
• 11:07
  I'm sorry.
• 11:08
  I don't even remember what your first name was.
• 11:10
  You said it.
• 11:10
  I don't remember what it was.
• 11:11
  Linda.
• 11:13
  Linda.
• 11:14
  Linda.
• 11:15
  It's a real name.
• 11:16
  I know you've heard of Linda before.
• 11:18
  It sounds weird.
• 11:19
  I know you know Linda's.
• 11:21
  We call her Ronnie.
• 11:24
  I love her music.
• 11:27
  Linda.
• 11:27
  It sounds fake.
• 11:28
  I'm sorry.
• 11:28
  It sounds fake.
• 11:29
  I'm going to just keep calling you droopy.
• 11:32
  I'm going to be the bigger person.
• 11:34
  No,
• 11:34
  I'm going to be the bigger person here.
• 11:36
  I'm going to let you
• 11:39
  tell me how I can make this better.
• 11:43
  And I'm going to do it because you know what?
• 11:48
  Our high school reunion's coming up
• 11:50
  and I can't wait to go and tell the gang
• 11:52
  how I met Droopy again
• 11:56
  and I fixed it.
• 11:58
  I'm going to do it.
• 12:02
  Just tell me.
• 12:03
  if you would just try not to
• 12:05
  you dad
• 12:09
  go ahead bloober if you could because i want to be a better person here
• 12:17
  okay if you could just apologize and then i and then i will be the better person
• 12:21
  i'll go ahead and i'll take your order okay wait so just an apology
• 12:25
  a sincere apology start it with linda comma
• 12:30
  Wait, is that your last name?
• 12:33
  Comma?
• 12:34
  No
• 12:34
  Oh no, that's right
• 12:37
  Your last name is
• 12:38
  Blooper
• 12:38
  I forgot
• 12:40
  Okay
• 12:40
  Linda
• 12:43
  Still sounds weird
• 12:46
  Okay
• 12:47
  Linda
• 12:48
  Comma
• 12:49
  I'm really sorry
• 12:53
  That in high school
• 12:57
  You were really funny
• 12:58
  and we all thought you were really funny.
• 13:01
  And I'm really sorry about that time
• 13:04
  that I was supposed to tell you
• 13:07
  that your dad got hit by the car
• 13:09
  and he was in the hospital
• 13:11
  and then I didn't tell you
• 13:13
  and so you didn't get to see him right before he died.
• 13:16
  I'm really sorry about that.
• 13:18
  I'm really sorry that Chet set up a fake
• 13:21
  never been kissed situation for you to fall into.
• 13:24
  We recorded the whole thing
• 13:25
  and we're going to play it back at the 10-year reunion
• 13:27
  and have a good laugh at it.
• 13:29
  I'm really, really sorry.
• 13:31
  And I'm also really sorry that, I don't know,
• 13:39
  that your teeth are like that.
• 13:42
  Huh.
• 13:45
  Wow, this is really healing.
• 13:49
  Did you hear that pop?
• 13:50
  She apologized.
• 13:51
  Did you hear that teeth?
• 13:53
  She apologized.
• 13:56
  Okay.
• 13:57
  Wow.
• 13:59
  I'm ready to take your order.
• 14:01
  What can I get you, hon?
• 14:05
  Can I just get a muffin and some butter?
• 14:08
  We actually are out of that.
• 14:09
  I'm so sorry.
• 14:09
  Oh, fuck you.
• 14:10
  Fuck you, Blooper.
• 14:11
  And see.