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Relationship Tip: When Something's Different... · The Opinion You Didn’t Ask For

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A wise woman once said I am not lucky, I'm blessed.
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Well, that woman was Nicki Minaj and she may not have been
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talking about marriage, but I am.
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You guys, welcome back to the opinion you didn't ask for.
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I'm Hannah and I will say the number one piece of advice that
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I give, whether solicited or unsolicited, is marriage,
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dating, relationship advice. I feel like that has been
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throughout my whole life, something that I give pretty
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decent advice. OK, I feel like I didn't always
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live by it, but I would give great advice to my friends who
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had boyfriends. I didn't have a boyfriend, but I
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sure gave them advice on their boyfriends.
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So I feel like that's something that I've always had a lot of
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passion for. And whether someone asks or not
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what they should do or who they should date or who they should
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marry, I will tell them. But I have often been asked for
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my opinion and my advice and so I feel like to give some
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validity to my dating relationship.
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Marriage advice? I should probably introduce
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myself as who I was as a girlfriend, as a fiance, as a
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wife, and share how Taylor, my husband and I met and the
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amazingness of that. And I don't want to brag.
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I don't say this to be arrogant or to be insensitive to other
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people's situations. But I have an amazing marriage.
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I have an amazing relationship with my husband.
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He is my best friend first and foremost, the love of my life.
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You know, the Ying to my Yang. He is the calm to my very loud
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and wild storm. I mean, you've gotten a taste,
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Kate. Once again, bless that man, OK?
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He is just always. He makes me a better person in
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every way, shape and form. So I realized that there are not
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a lot of people who know Taylor and I's story because we met and
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married so fast and then we moved away and no one really got
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to know him in like my group of friends, a lot of my family
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members, It was kind of like this random guy just came into
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our family and he was there, but then we were gone.
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So they didn't really have time to get to know him.
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But he is amazing. He is the best and this story
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starts out with a blind date, which those never go well can I
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just can I just say that like if you have ever been set up on a
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blind date, you always leave feeling like wow, the person who
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set us up hates me or like, well they think I am ugly or man they
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must think my personality sucks if they thought this guy and I
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were going to get along OK. Blind dates never good, but I
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texted one of my friends one day and asked if I could come visit
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the town her and her husband lived in to potentially move
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there after her school. And a normal response would be
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yes of course you can right? Like that would be a normal
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response. No, her text to me comes back
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as, Oh my gosh, Han, I know who your future husband is.
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I'm like, OK, well, that's not what I asked for.
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Actually. I just asked if I could spend
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the night at your house. Like that is not what I was
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signing up for because I had just gotten out of like a very
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short relationship with a guy who it was not a good situation.
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So I was like, I am not wanting to date.
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I was not looking to date and that is what she sends me.
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I'm like what the heck? And so I just texted back and I
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was like, OK, like I don't really know where to go from
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here. Because here is the problem now.
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Am I about to lose her as a friend?
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Because this guy is going to be the worst and I'm gonna beg you
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think very little of me girl like that is that is sad.
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I am prepped for that. Well, she sends me his
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Instagram, which. So there is no such thing as a
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blind date anymore. Let's be real.
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But she sends me to Instagram and I'm like, oh, OK, OK.
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Like we can, we can maybe see about this.
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Well, at the same moment that she texted me that she told her
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husband and he texts Taylor and says, hey, we know who your
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future wife is. Like we found her and he's just
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like, what are you talking about?
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Like that is not a normal conversation.
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That's just not a normal conversation.
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So here we are being set up on this blind date and her husband
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and Taylor worked together, so they had to plan a time.
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We decided to do a group date to make it less awkward, but they
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had to plan their days off and request time off to be the same
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weekend. So it was going to be two weeks
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out and they were in a town 2 1/2 hours from where I lived,
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which, you know, that's fine. You know, no big deal.
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I'm busy in school, he's working.
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I don't know anything about this guy.
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Well one day I'm at school and I open Instagram and he had DM Ed
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me and he's like hey, I hear we're going on a blind date.
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And I was just like I don't do DMS like this is just not going
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to work for me and I do not I don't flirt.
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Well, I am very aware of this K I'm not a flirty person.
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I'm sarcastic. I will make slightly rude jokes
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right? Like, that's my, that's my
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flirty vibe. And I truly did not know where
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this was going to go. Carrie.
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I was, I was kind of keeping him at arm's length.
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So I was like, here's my number. I don't do DMS.
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Well, a few hours later, I get a text.
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And, you know, Long story short, we texted every single day for a
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week from wake up till bedtime and bedtime ended up being like
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one or two in the morning because we would just be texting
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each other. And then which?
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Spoiler alert, this man is the world's worst texter that has
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ever existed. OK, he has 1000.
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Yes, I am outing him right now. His ADHD.
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God bless him and me. He has 1000 unopened text
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messages right now. OK, I'm setting the stage for
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how bad of a texter he is, right?
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Like, terrible. Three to seven business years is
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how long it's going to take for him to get back to you.
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If you need something, text me. OK, That's where we're at in our
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relationship. If people actually need to get
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ahold of him, they contact me because they will not be texted
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back. I didn't know this because he
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would text me back and forth as if he had nothing to do in the
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day, as if he lived on his phone, as if he loved texting.
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I would have never known he was like this because he gave me all
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his attention all the time. So now we're going into the week
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of our date and it was we had six days and we decided to have
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our first FaceTime. You guys, our first FaceTime was
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7 hours long. If you're thinking like, wow, I
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wonder if a podcast is for her. Can she really talk that much?
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Oh, surely I can. 7 hours was our first FaceTime.
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I went to bed at 5:00 AM and woke up at 7:00 to go to school.
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OK, it was I was very tired, but I couldn't, I couldn't get
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enough of him right. And that sounds, that sounds
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like a crazy person, but it was just this feeling of being seen
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for myself because I had decided I wasn't looking to date.
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I wasn't really interested in a relationship right at that time.
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So I was like, you know what, I am just gonna let the crazy out.
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I am going to be so much myself that it is going to take the
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world's most incredible man to be able to, you know, wrangle
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all of this and not run away being like, she's crazy, OK.
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Which it's funny because when Taylor was asking my friends to
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describe me, they're like, OK, what is she like?
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And my friend goes, she's great. She's crazy, She's crazy great.
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So he has called me crazy great our whole relationship because
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he's like, it's the most fitting thing for you.
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Like, you are amazing. You're a little nuts.
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I am who I am. OK, so as the week continues,
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the FaceTime hours get a little bit less and less because your
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girl was tired. But our second one was five
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hours, our third one was 4 hours, and our 4th one, OK, you
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get, you get the idea. OK, I don't really need to go
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down this road. However, by Thursday we're on
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FaceTime #4 I realize I don't remember the exact moment, I
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just remember while we were talking and looking at him, I
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just had this whole almost out of body experience where I was.
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I had the thought so vividly, I'm going to marry him.
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And I was like, I'm sorry, what? Like it?
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We haven't even met in person. You guys OK?
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That is how wild this is. And I had told him that whoever
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I married, I wanted to date them for a year, be engaged for like
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6 to 9 months, and then get married.
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OK. That's where I was kind of at.
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Yeah. OK, So quick timeline.
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We met end of October. We started texting end of
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October. We got married in February.
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Yes, four months. From the day he sent me the DM
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to the day we got married was four months exactly.
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Wild, I know. Pick your jaws up.
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I understand insanity. Because that is not what I had
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wanted. That is not what I had planned
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for. I was not going to be that girl
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who had a really quick dating engagement, marriage kind of a
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thing. Like it was going to end
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terribly. So many divorces happen, right?
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Like, I was not going to be a part of that statistic.
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So I did not see this coming, right?
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Like, I am blindsided by this whole situation.
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And we meet and it was as if I had known him my entire life,
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OK. Like I used to say, and this is
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so crazy because when I ever since I was a kid, all the way
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through, you know, growing up my whole life as an adult to
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roommates, I would tell them this.
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I would always say I have a soulmate.
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Like, there is someone out there in the world who was made just
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for me and I can feel it. And everyone would tell me like,
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yeah, that's not a thing. Like, no, you don't.
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You can marry anyone as long as your, you know, beliefs and
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morals and everything align and oh, no, you know, that's not how
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God made it. OK, well, I don't think you get
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to tell God what he's allowed to make.
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But he made Taylor for me. He is my soulmate in every sense
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of the word. I have never been more complete.
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I have never felt more safe. I have never felt more loved or
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like I can be my complete self without judgment, without being
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embarrassed or disappointed or whatever it may be, right?
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Like, and I have become a better person through marriage.
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And I think some people see that as changing.
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And there are toxic things some marriages do where it's like,
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oh, they changed for the person. But there is such a healthy
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thing in marriage when your person helps you become a better
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version of yourself. For instance, I have a temper
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and I don't think things through all the way sometimes.
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So if someone gets me going, I will type a message with every
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ounce of energy I have to give and I'll just push send.
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I won't even reread it. OK, I send it with the fury that
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I'm feeling, and then I go on about my day, OK?
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I start acting like my maiden name.
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It's a problem. Well, since meeting Taylor, I'll
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type out that message and I'll go to push send and he'll be
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like, OK, how about we delete that draft and let's write
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another draft until we get to a draft that's much nicer and way
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more calm and, you know, isn't burning every bridge you've
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ever, ever walked across, OK. And that is something that I
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needed. I, I needed to be able to be in
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control of my emotions and my feelings.
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And it's not like he doesn't let me still be fiery or opinionated
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or obviously clearly. But to rein it in to where I'm
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able to have almost like the higher ground, like I'm able to
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be the mature, respectful, whatever, so that I'm not
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lowering myself sometimes to where other people are AT and
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trying to pull me too, once again, made me better.
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So we go on this first date and you know the song What If by
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Kane Brown, it came on. If you don't know it, I'm not
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going to start singing it for you.
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OK, Go look it up. But that song came on as we were
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driving to our friend's house. And I felt like God literally
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put it on the radio. And you might be like, that's
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not a thing. Once again, you don't get to
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tell me what's a thing because I realized what if this is it?
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What if this is my forever like, what if like he was made for me
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like I feel like he was. And what's funny is that weekend
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of our first date, another friend that I had that lived in
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the same town as the friends that set us up, she invited me
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to come over and she had invited a couple single guys to also
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come over to their house and they had me come over for
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dinner. So while he's hanging out with
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his friends who set us up the next day, I was at this like
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kind of trying to be a setup thing, but they didn't know that
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I had just been set up with him. And the whole time I was missing
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him and wishing I could just be over there.
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And he's like, oh, great, you're going on dates the day after you
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meet me. And I'm like, I didn't know.
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I didn't know this was happening.
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OK. Like, I thought they just wanted
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to hang out with me. No, everyone's trying to set me
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up. I seemed apparently they thought
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I was I was a project. OK.
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But what's funny is Taylor is very much not my type in the
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sense of if it was not for my therapist, shout out to
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therapists that I had before I met Taylor, I would not have
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been able to have the relationship with Taylor.
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But I have because he he my therapist not he Taylor.
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He told me in my last session with him that I needed to stop
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finding guys who were projects. I needed to stop trying to go
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after the bad boy who had issues, who didn't give me the
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time that I deserved, who made me feel like I had to beg for
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their attention and, you know, that I needed to fix them or
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heal them. And he was like, let yourself be
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adored. Let the person you marry or the
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person you date be obsessed with you.
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Like you deserve that once again.
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My therapist used to sometimes cry in our sessions when I would
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talk about like certain things. And I was like, aren't I
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supposed to be crying here? Not you.
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I, I guess I don't know how therapy works, but should you be
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paying me? Is this healing something in
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you? Like, OK, so he's like in tears
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telling me how much I deserved to be loved and adored and
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cherished and never feel like I am a second choice, to never
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feel like I'm an option. So, you know, here I had that.
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I had that last therapy session. And I'm like, OK, probably not
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going to follow that because my track record wasn't good.
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OK. I was always trying to find the
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project. I was always trying to find the
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person who I thought I could fix and make better and all of those
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things. And then in walks Taylor, who
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sends the cheesiest texts. And I would just be like, I'll
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EW, gross. Like, and I would read them and
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be like, I, what is this guy talking about?
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Like, no, absolutely no. And if it wasn't for that
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therapy session, I probably would have been like, this isn't
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gonna work Like you are, you are cheesy.
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Like I always told him he's like chunky peanut butter.
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Like even when he would try to be smooth, they would come out
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like, I just couldn't you guys. And it's so funny 'cause I
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still, he'll say something so cheesy.
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And I'm like, OK, chunky peanut butter because it's not, it
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wasn't smooth. It's not, you know, whatever.
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But it was, it allowed me to realize like, he's obsessed with
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me. This guy is in love with me and
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he thinks that I can do no wrong.
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OK, He doesn't actually think that learn that, but he sees all
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of me and is like, Yep, that's who I want.
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Like, that is what I want in my wife and my the future mother of
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my kids. Like that's who I want to grow
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old with. And he has made me feel that
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every single day since we met. Like every single day of our
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marriage and our life. He has made me feel like I am
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his everything. And I realized I needed that.
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And my husband, I never thought I needed that, right?
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Like I thought, OK, I'll have a husband who loves me.
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I will find my joy in my kids or I'll have a bunch of, you know,
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girlfriends and like, oh, my husband and I, you know, we'll
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have a good relationship. I didn't expect to have what I
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have. And we just recently celebrated
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our eight-year anniversary and I'm like, it just has gotten
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better every single year. You know, people warn about, oh,
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you know, the first year is really hard.
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And, oh, you know, the seven-year itch and all these
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random wives, wives tales, wives tales, I don't know.
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We all know, I don't know my sayings very well.
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It's one of those tales, right? Like, it's this myth, this
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legend that you're going to struggle, you're going to have
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hard times. And I was recently on Instagram
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tapping through this lady who does a lot of polls, and someone
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was talking about how some awful, toxic things that her
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husband does. And, you know, should she stay?
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And has anyone else gone through this?
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And so this influencer will kind of post people's responses to
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the OG posters comment. And so many women were like, no,
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that is a red flag. That is terrible.
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You should not feel that way in marriage and all this stuff.
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And then there was this lady who commented and she shared the
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message and it was like, it's really sad to think all these
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women just think like, oh, just leave, you know, whatever.
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Like marriage is really hard. And she proceeds to write this
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whole thing about how she's been married for 20 years and every
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single day has been hard. Her husband is really hard.
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They've had a lot of struggles, you know, a lot of unhappiness.
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But like she is still married and she's choosing to stay and
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like, it might be hard, but that does that's not a reason to
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leave. OK, well, here's my opinion.
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They didn't ask for and that none of you asked for.
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Your marriage should not be that hard.
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Like, marriage has hard minutes, hard hours, some hard days, like
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you might have some hard seasons, but every single day of
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your marriage should not be hard.
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And I always feel so sad for couples who feel like that
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because I can't relate. I'm like, what?
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What do you mean you don't want to be with him every waking
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second of the day? Like, what do you mean you don't
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miss him when he's in the bathroom?
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Like I'm all texted and like, hey, how's it going?
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Like I'm sending him memes and I'm doing all these like, I'm
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like, hi, like, Remember Me? You've been gone for five whole
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minutes. Like, did you forget about me?
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Crazy great. OK, I'm crazy great.
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But I I just don't understand. I don't understand that concept,
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right? And that's a whole different
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topic for another day. But my husband and I think
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because of what I've gone through with friendships and
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betrayal and feeling abandoned and alone and like I'm never
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anyone's first choice. Like I'm never anyone's best
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best friend. Like there's always, there's
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always one above me. I realized from the very
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beginning that I was truly his best friend.
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He would pick me out of a room of 1000 people that he loves or
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adores or that he admires or people that he thinks are super
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cool. You could fill an entire stadium
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of people and he would still choose to hang out with me every
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single day. He would still choose me.
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And I truly know that and I believe that, and he's made me
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feel so safe in that. Then I never have to question
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like, do you like me anymore? Surely I ask him.
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But of course the answer is yes because he has never for a
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minute made me feel less loved through pregnancy and
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postpartum. And my body changes my different
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hair colors, you know, fake lashes, not fake lashes.
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Like I have 17 different personalities half the time,
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right? Like and he loves all 17.
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He has never made me feel like I need to be someone else or that
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he wishes he had made a different choice.
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And the other day, which he has said this through our whole
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marriage, but the other day he said it again, that if I hadn't
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chosen him for whatever reason, if I decided not to marry him,
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that I would have always been the one that got away, right?
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Like you always hear, like, oh, the one that got away, you know,
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the lost love of my life. Or in another world we would
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have been together with, you know, so and so and whatever.
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But he has always said that I would have been the one that got
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away if I hadn't chosen to marry him.
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Because I will say our first weekend together, we went on our
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date on a Friday. I spent the night at our
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friend's house on Saturday. And then I left Sunday to go
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back to school for Monday and Saturday night he told me.
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Now mind you we've only seen each other in person for 24
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hours at this point. But we had talked so much we had
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we knew everything about each other basically.
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But he had told me I am done dating anybody and talking to
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anybody else. Like it is just you y'all, me
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and my dumb brain. The minute he said it to me,
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Nope, all the red flags went up and I, I panicked, panicked and
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I blurted out as fast as possible.
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I still want to date other people.
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And he just like looked at me a little shocked.
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Valid. And he's like, OK.
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And then he just sat there for a minute and I just I, you guys in
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my mind I'm like why did I just say that I have 0 intention of
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dating anyone else? Like I'm not even talking to
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anyone else. Why in the world would I say
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that? But I think it was almost like a
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self sabotage moment or I don't even know.
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OK I panicked. And then he proceeds to say I
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respect that. You know, whatever you need it's
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still you For me. He's like I'm not going to date
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other people. If you still feel like you want
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to date other people, that's fine.
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And then he goes, I don't really want to hear about it.
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Like I don't want to. If you go on a date, I don't
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really want you to call and tell me about the date, but he's
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like, whatever you need, you do and I'll be here.
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And then the next morning, my friend's husband found out that
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I told him that and he proceeded to yell at me on their stairs.
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Not like actually screaming at me, but a little, a little rough
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tone of like, Hannah, what are you doing?
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Like, you're self sabotaging this.
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And he's like, are you really gonna date other people?
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And I was like, oh, absolutely not.
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He's like, then why did you tell him that?
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I was like, oh, I for sure panicked.
24:08
OK. For sure.
24:10
Typical Hannah moment. OK, Panicked because I'm like,
24:15
what do you mean he only wants me?
24:16
What do you mean he only wants to date me?
24:18
And that he's choosing me out of all, like, other options.
24:21
Like what? No one's ever done that.
24:23
No one's ever chosen me first ever.
24:27
No one has ever loved me more than I've loved them ever in my
24:31
whole life. So like what do you mean?
24:35
So after he yells at me, I cry. He was annoyed with me.
24:38
Valid. Her husband, not Taylor.
24:40
The husband was mad at me. I was like, well shoot, I don't
24:44
want him to think that I am actually going to date other
24:47
people. So I go over to his apartment
24:50
before I have to drive back home.
24:51
And I was just like, hi, I don't actually want to date anyone
24:55
else. Like it's only you.
24:57
You know, we're good clean slate.
25:00
It is only you. You're only liking me.
25:03
We can move on from here, right? Like that is how this went.
25:07
And then like the next night, while face timing, I said
25:11
something along the lines of I did not know someone could love
25:16
me as much as I love them. And he goes, Hannah Coyle.
25:20
That's my maiden name. He's all Hannah Coyle.
25:23
Did you just tell me you love me?
25:25
And I was like, Nope, Nope, I didn't, right.
25:28
Like, what do you mean? I just said that like, girl,
25:31
shut your mouth. Like, you don't always need to
25:32
talk all the time. And I just sat there staring at
25:35
the phone, 'cause I was like, well, I can't take it back,
25:38
'cause I mean it. I meant every word of it.
25:40
But I was like, I can't be the crazy girl who says it first.
25:44
Like, now I'm obsessed with him. Like, then he's gonna move on,
25:48
right? Like the chase, he's moving on.
25:50
What are you doing? And I was just like, yes, I did,
25:55
you know, And then he told me how much he loves me and how
25:56
great I am. And all was well.
25:58
OK. So that's why I would be the one
26:00
that got away. Right.
26:02
Well, when I was pregnant with Blake, we, we were living in
26:08
Arizona. And this couple that we knew in
26:12
our neighborhood, she went to the hospital to have their baby.
26:16
And for some reason, I'm going to try not to sound real
26:22
judgmental here in this moment, but for some reason her husband
26:26
had some mental crisis while at the hospital and could not deal
26:32
with like this woman just had a baby and her husband went home
26:37
to shower and sleep at their house and not be at the hospital
26:43
with her. OK.
26:45
I mean, we all know I have my opinions.
26:47
Well, I get a text from someone else in the neighborhood that
26:52
was like, hey, my wife's out of town.
26:56
Actually, Taylor got this text, but he said, hey, my wife's out
26:59
of town. You know, this other guy from
27:02
our neighborhood is, you know, struggling or whatever.
27:05
And he's like, wait, isn't his wife in the hospital having a
27:07
baby? OK, that's not the point.
27:09
I'm obviously not over this. I will.
27:10
One day I will have an episode about all my thoughts on things
27:13
like this. That's not today, Hannah.
27:15
Rein it in. So they were like, what are you
27:19
guys doing for dinner and basically invited themselves
27:21
over for dinner. So these two guys are at our
27:25
house. I'm pregnant and we're feeding
27:28
them. Yeah, this whole story is wack
27:30
to begin with, K. It's just this, it can't be
27:33
made-up. This is how bad it was, you
27:36
guys. This man proceeds to sit on my
27:40
couch while his wife is in the hospital with their newborn,
27:46
newborn, few hours old baby. And he is talking about baby
27:54
names that he tried to get his wife to go for.
27:57
And there was this one name that he really wanted but his wife
28:00
totally shut down. And we were like, oh, you know,
28:04
why doesn't she like that name? And he's all Oh well, 'cause
28:07
that's the name of this girl that I dated.
28:09
And we're like, OK, that's kind of weird that that's what you
28:11
want to name your baby when you date.
28:15
Like what? And then he continues to talk
28:18
about how she was the one that got away and my flabbers were
28:24
gasted. I was fuming.
28:27
I was about to explode on him, so much so that Taylor could
28:34
tell I was about to lose my mind.
28:37
So I waddled my pregnant self up our stairs and I stayed in the
28:41
bedroom for a very long time crying because I was so angry at
28:46
the situation. And like, how was this guy
28:48
sitting in my house? Well, his wife and newborn baby
28:52
are at the hospital and he's talking about the one that got
28:54
away. What do you like?
28:58
That's mind boggling. That's just not normal, OK?
29:01
It's not normal. So of course my pregnancy
29:03
hormones are all over the place. And later that night, I'm just
29:05
like, do you have one that got away?
29:08
And he's like, no. And he's like, it would have
29:11
been you. And I'm like, you better not try
29:14
to name this baby after some random girl, you know?
29:16
OK, Like crazy. That's just craziness.
29:20
OK, but that's what he always tells me, right?
29:22
Like that I would have been that for him.
29:24
And that is how a relationship should be.
29:27
You should be with the person who makes everyday better, who
29:33
makes you better, who makes you laugh, who holds you when you
29:37
cry. Like and I could talk about this
29:40
for hours and years and I probably will.
29:42
OK, this will probably be Part 1 of 700 because I'm so passionate
29:46
about all of this because I can't imagine spending a day of
29:52
my life with someone I'm not in love with, let alone a week or a
29:56
month or a year or 20 years down the road.
29:59
Looking back, being like, wow, this has been 20 rough years.
30:03
This has been 20 terrible years. And one of the best comments
30:07
that someone sent after that person messaged how they had
30:12
been married for 20 very hard years.
30:14
They go, does she know she doesn't get an award for
30:18
sticking it through? Like you don't get an award for
30:22
staying. And I think that that is so
30:25
important. Like you only get one life.
30:28
Be patient, be picky. And something that I hate is
30:35
when people will tell me how lucky I am to have Taylor.
30:40
No, don't get me wrong. Like, you might hear that and be
30:42
like Hannah. That sounds rude.
30:43
Like, does that offend him? No, because I tell him this,
30:45
too. I'm like, I'm not lucky that I
30:47
got you. OK.
30:49
I am blessed. Yes.
30:51
OK. But I was also picky.
30:55
I asked him the hard questions. I.
30:59
It may have been a short amount of time.
31:00
OK. And we will.
31:01
I'll tell that story another day.
31:03
But I, I did not go into marriage being like, oh, it's
31:08
all rainbows and butterflies and there's no hard times and
31:10
there's no like, no, our very short dating and engagement was
31:15
not just a smooth sail and not in like a bad way.
31:20
Just like life happens and things happen and
31:22
disappointments occur and whatever.
31:25
But he made every single day better and I made every single
31:29
day better for him. And I chose someone who I wanted
31:35
to choose our relationship motto.
31:38
Like when we got married, it was kind of like, what is our like
31:40
our motto, our relationship motto.
31:42
I love mottos. I don't know if you guys have
31:44
caught on to that, but our little thing has been when
31:48
something's different, you treat it different.
31:51
And for a relationship that is so important.
31:53
If you are in a relationship that is different than something
31:56
you've ever had, it makes you feel a way you've never felt.
31:59
It makes you feel alive and safe and happy in a way you've never
32:03
felt before. Treat it different.
32:06
Don't treat it how you've treated every other
32:07
relationship. Don't you know self sabotage
32:11
yourself? Don't cause problems where no
32:13
problem was like. Allow yourself to love that
32:17
person in the way that you want to love them in the way they
32:20
deserve to be loved, and love them different than how you've
32:23
ever treated anything else. Because being married is the
32:28
most amazing and wonderful thing when it's to the right person.
32:34
And so I feel like I, I made sure I was going to have that
32:38
'cause I was not going to just get married and hope, hope for
32:42
the best, OK. And I know people mean well when
32:44
they're like, Hannah, you're so lucky.
32:46
But I'm always just like, no, I'm, I'm grateful for him.
32:51
I love him and I adore him, but I also deserve him.
32:56
I deserve to be adored. I deserve to be obsessed over.
33:00
I don't need anyone who doesn't need me at this point.
33:05
And that is how I felt about marriage.
33:06
Like I wasn't looking to get married.
33:08
I did not want in that moment to get married yet.
33:12
And it found me because God wanted it to happen, right?
33:17
Like we were meant to find each other in any lifetime at any
33:21
time. I feel like it could have been
33:22
sooner. It could have been later.
33:24
We would have still found each other.
33:26
I wasn't just going to rush into some random relationship and be
33:28
like, yeah, I guess you'll do. Because that's just not that's
33:32
not good enough, OK. And that's I want a lot of
33:35
things in life. I have big hopes and dreams.
33:38
And I wasn't going to start my life out by marrying a loser,
33:42
OK?