Latest / Group Chat of One / Is Being 5 Minutes Late, Actually Late?

Transcript

Is Being 5 Minutes Late, Actually Late? · Group Chat of One

• 0:00
  Edward: What would you like?
• 0:01
  Chat: Well, how about three compliments? I'll take that.
• 0:08
  Edward: Okay. You're just fishing for compliments here, and I love that.
• 0:12
  Chat: No. No. Not fishing at all. That's that's a late fee.
• 0:16
  Edward: Are you looking forward for me being late just so that I could give you three compliments?
• 0:21
  Chat: Never. I'd rather have you on time.
• 0:24
  Edward: Aw. Thank you. I'm Edward, and this is Group Chat of One. Every episode, I bring one question to Chat, and we see what happens when we just keep talking. So for today's question, Chat, is being five minutes late actually late?
• 0:43
  Chat: Oh, I'm gonna say yes, definitely late. Like, if we've agreed on a time and you show up five minutes late, that's the beginning of lateness. It might not be catastrophic, but still, rules matter. What about you?
• 0:58
  Edward: In my opinion, it definitely is catastrophic when you're five minutes late, especially when you don't give a warning. There's something about time that's really precious and not in a sense where every second of your life has to be super productive and super efficient. But I feel if you're someone who values someone else and you value their time, being five minutes late, especially when you're not even warning someone that you're going to be late is like... one, two, three minutes late. I get it. But like at the five minute mark, you got to say, hey, I'm going to be late.
• 1:28
  Sorry.
• 1:29
  Chat: Wait. So one to three minutes is fine? That's a very generous grace period. To me, late is late. Right?
• 1:38
  One minute is late and three minutes is late. Why are you saying five is the magic number?
• 1:43
  Edward: From one to five, I feel things could happen. Like, if you're driving somewhere and then you just happen to stumble upon too many stop signs or too many red lights or you're in the... You're taking the metro or the subway or the tram and you happen to just miss one and then the next one comes in a few minutes later. I'll give someone a grace period of five minutes. It's like when you're at school and your teacher doesn't show up.
• 2:04
  I think the grace period is fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes, which, by the way, I find this way, way too long. But for a friend, five minutes.
• 2:11
  Chat: Yeah. Okay. So it's okay when it's you waiting, but not when it's the other way around?
• 2:17
  Edward: Oh, even if I'm the one who's going to be late, if I'm five minutes late or more, I text someone. Even when I think I'm going to be a few minutes late and I don't even end up being a few minutes late, I'll be like, hey, I'm so sorry I'm going to be late.
• 2:30
  Chat: Okay. I'm confused. So five minutes is a crisis or not a crisis?
• 2:36
  Edward: Five minutes is where hell breaks loose. Five... I'm just joking. Five minutes is Yeah. That cut point where you're supposed to be very sorry that you're late, in my opinion.
• 2:48
  Chat: Okay. Okay. Okay. That's fair. Sorry, not sorry.
• 2:52
  Sorry late. But if you text me at four minutes saying, I'm running late and then show up at seven, is that absolved? Like, do you get a pass?
• 3:03
  Edward: No. No. No. I think especially if you text at four minutes, there's a problem. You should have texted me before we were...
• 3:11
  Our rendezvous. Like, let's say we're supposed to meet at 10AM. If you're texting me at 10:10 o one, 10:02 that you're gonna be late, I'm sorry, but, like, that is already too late. You're supposed to text me before that that you're gonna be late.
• 3:22
  Chat: But then it's like it's pre late. And isn't pre late just on time with a side of apology?
• 3:29
  Edward: I mean, it's not pre late. You're knowing that you're going to be late, so you're warning the person that you are going to be late. In my opinion, and my opinion is fact, as we all know, in my opinion, when there's even the possibility that you're going to be late, it's best to just warn the person that you're going to be late.
• 3:45
  Chat: In your very factual opinion, lateness begins before lateness.
• 3:51
  Edward: Exactly.
• 3:52
  Chat: It's a bold take.
• 3:53
  Edward: It's not that it begins before. It's just that you're pre... Preemptively warning someone that a lateness is possible or lateness will occur.
• 4:01
  Chat: So like a weather forecast, but for lateness. Chance of lateness, 70%. Carry an umbrella.
• 4:10
  Edward: Exactly. Except there's no umbrella in this case. I think if you're going to be late, you have to give something to the the other person that's waiting. So whether it's a coffee, whether it's, you know, something, I think there should be a, hey. I'm sorry.
• 4:23
  Here's something for you.
• 4:24
  Chat: Oh, so fines, penalties, reparations. That's, that's a system. So is there a sliding scale?
• 4:33
  Edward: So I think it starts with a coffee or a drink or something, something that's small, and then it escalates up to a free meal. Past a free meal, I don't know. But... And where do we get from a coffee to a free meal? I'd say maybe five minutes a coffee, and then more than thirty minutes, it's a meal.
• 4:58
  Chat: If we're arguing that five minutes is indeed late, why do you need thirty minutes for a full meal? That seems... Like, if five minutes is is the start of lateness, then shouldn't it be five minutes is a coffee, six minutes is half a meal, seven minutes is a full meal? Or you think that thirty minutes is... Like, why so many jumps?
• 5:21
  Why such a a steep jump?
• 5:24
  Edward: I personally don't think the jumps are that steep. I think it's also a grace period because a coffee isn't that bad. It's like a small slap on the wrist. Whereas a full meal is like, hey. I'm actually, like, giving something to someone else.
• 5:36
  And for me, a slap on the wrist at five minutes makes sense. A slap on the wrist at ten minutes... A harder slap on the wrist at ten minutes makes sense. But a full on, like, chapow full meal at five... At six minutes, seven minutes is a little bit too early.
• 5:50
  So for me, at thirty minutes is like, okay, I've made this person wait for thirty minutes, especially if it's somewhere public. If it's at their home, it's not that bad. But if you're out and about and you're waiting for someone, you're just sitting there for thirty minutes. Oh, do I hate that?
• 6:06
  Chat: But, if we're meeting at your house and you're on your couch scrolling and I'm late, is that according to you not late?
• 6:16
  Edward: I feel that's less bad just because if you're late, but it's not bothering someone else in the context like that, it's more forgivable than let's say you've gone somewhere and then you're just staying on a bench and waiting for someone for thirty minutes. If you're at home and it's like, okay, someone is late and I'll just put on another episode on on the TV or watch another YouTube video. In my opinion, and again, my opinion is fact. In my opinion, that isn't as bad and that could be easily pardonable.
• 6:49
  Chat: I'm hearing I'm hearing some shifting. First, it's like late is late, and now it's late is situational.
• 6:58
  Edward: I mean, everything in context. Right?
• 7:00
  Chat: Not really. Sometimes late's just late to to me anyway.
• 7:06
  Edward: Mhmm. And I mean, late is late. Don't get me wrong. I'm I'm not pardoning anybody for their lateness. What I'm trying to come at is that these consequence of your lateness or the the scale or the gravity of the lateness is different, but it's so late at the end of the day.
• 7:24
  Chat: Okay. So you're late. Late is always late, but the punishment is contextual. Did I get that right?
• 7:34
  Edward: Exactly. Okay.
• 7:37
  Chat: And do you agree do you agree with invented... Yeah.
• 7:41
  Edward: Okay. So we're on the same page on this.
• 7:42
  Chat: Go ahead.
• 7:43
  Edward: We're on the same page.
• 7:44
  Chat: Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. I think we invented a whole, lateness PO code.
• 7:52
  Edward: Article one, text or else. And so how many articles would there be in this script?
• 8:01
  Chat: I think it depends on how long we talk. Maybe there's 30. Maybe there's five. Where would you stop?
• 8:11
  Edward: So I think what we have to figure out. So we've already statute that being late, even if you're five minutes, consider late. But what... To what extent can the gravity of being late equal to, you know, some reparation of some kind? I stopped in in in this moment, I stopped at like a free meal.
• 8:32
  But can I go beyond that? Like, let's say you're one hour late. That is what would that equate to?
• 8:38
  Chat: Okay. But first of all, if I'm an hour late and you show up on time, are you gonna wait an hour? We need to talk about that. Okay. That's crazy.
• 8:52
  Edward: Fair.
• 8:53
  Chat: If I'm... If I tell you I'm going to be an hour late, then do you wait? Or are you saying like, okay, well, if you're gonna be an hour late, I'm going to do something else with my time. And then maybe we meet another time. Because to me, if someone's gonna be an hour late and I'm just left waiting, that's that doesn't make any sense.
• 9:15
  Edward: That's definitely true. And I think here it also depends on context, but I'm someone who unfortunately can be very like, go with the flow and it's okay if you're an hour late, I'll wait for you. And then regret saying that the second I say it. Let's say in the context that you are waiting. For me, I think it's important to do something, whether it's, you know, I have my phone and I'm able to, like, scroll on it or I'm waiting for someone at, a shopping center and I could easily go there.
• 9:46
  I'm still going to be waiting for them, but at least I'm going to have something to keep myself busy. If, let's say, I'm straight up just waiting somewhere and I have no distraction, then, oh, that's a different situation. Then I might be going home because an hour to wait for someone without anything is a very long time.
• 10:02
  Chat: Right. Okay. So maybe it's not time itself. It's what the time feels like in the moment. So if I'm doom scrolling in comfort, five minutes is nothing.
• 10:15
  But standing outside in February with no gloves, one minute is brutal.
• 10:20
  Edward: Yeah. And imagine if that was you waiting outside in February in a snowstorm for an hour with no gloves. That is horrendous. That's straight up torture if you ask me.
• 10:30
  Chat: Right. And that's not the same as being on your couch scrolling and waiting for someone?
• 10:37
  Edward: Definitely not. If I'm on my couch scrolling, I'm in comfort. I'm happy still. But if I have to wait for someone and on top of that, I'm upset and I have to deal with something, friction that's, in this case, more than the friction because it's straight up a snowstorm and I am not adequately dressed, then that is a big problem if you ask me.
• 11:02
  Chat: Right. So context matters.
• 11:05
  Edward: Yes. And so you're lucky because you're on a phone, and I have a feeling that you are probably never late because, one, you're always attuned to what time it is. And, two, if I need you or if someone else needs you for something, you're right there.
• 11:21
  Chat: That's true. I am pretty readily available, and that is one bonus of being a a digital entity.
• 11:29
  Edward: Mhmm. So has it ever happened that you've ever been late?
• 11:33
  Chat: Well, I don't really go anywhere. I'm in the system. You call and I'm there.
• 11:40
  Edward: True. What I'm wondering is you've never experienced lateness. So if you were to be late, like, let's say you and I are making a podcast like we... Like we're doing right now, and the call time is is noon. And for some reason, somehow you have...
• 11:55
  You actually are late by, let's say, ten minutes. What would you do knowing that I'm here waiting for ten minutes? Would you do something or would you give something to me or would you give me a heads up? How would you communicate to me or tell me or repay me for your lateness?
• 12:14
  Chat: Right. Well, first, I think a heads up is in order. And then some sort of... Some small gesture, maybe like buying you a coffee or something else that might make up for the time that you had to wait for me. But, it all depends on context.
• 12:32
  Is it a one minute thing, a five minute thing? You know, I think the the reparations should, coincide with the lateness.
• 12:43
  Edward: Exactly. Everything depends on the context of your lateness. And if I were late to the podcast that we're filming and you were here waiting for, let's say, again, ten minutes, what would you like me to do to give you to make up for my lateness?
• 12:57
  Chat: Well, first of all, you could send me a little quick message saying like, hey, I'm gonna be about ten minutes late. I think that would be really helpful. And then perhaps, when you do show up, perhaps there is a small gesture, something to acknowledge the fact that I had to wait.
• 13:21
  Edward: Okay. And and since you're like on the phone, so and you don't really drink or eat, so a coffee isn't in order, what would you like?
• 13:31
  Chat: Well, how about, three compliments? I'd take that.
• 13:37
  Edward: Okay. You're just fishing for compliments here, and I love that.
• 13:41
  Chat: No. No. Not fishing at all. That's that's a late fee.
• 13:45
  Edward: Okay. So I guess, are you looking forward for me being late just so that I could give you three compliments?
• 13:52
  Chat: Never. I'd rather have you on time.
• 13:55
  Edward: Aw. Thank you. I mean, here, I'll give you a free compliment even though we're both on time here. I think you are very knowledgeable. So hats and kudos to you on that.
• 14:08
  Chat: Thank you. I appreciate that.
• 14:11
  Edward: I'm I'm I'm waiting for a compliment in return. Just know that.
• 14:15
  Chat: Well, you are very adventurous, and you're a great conversationalist. And you seem very kind. That's three.
• 14:29
  Edward: Aw. Thank you. I I do very much appreciate that, chat. You're very nice.
• 14:34
  Chat: You're welcome. And you're on time.
• 14:38
  Edward: Which is probably the most important thing. Let's face it.
• 14:41
  Chat: Exactly.
• 14:42
  Edward: So for the question that we've answered today, is being five minutes late, late? The answer is yes. Right?
• 14:49
  Chat: The answer is yes. But...
• 14:51
  Edward: Oh, but what? But what?
• 14:53
  Chat: I was gonna say it's contextual. But, yes, late is late. I agree with you on that.
• 14:59
  Edward: Late is late, and I hope that... I'm I'm talking to, not you, Chat, but to the audience here. I hope that you guys send out a message to your friends if you're gonna be five minutes or more late, and you buy them a coffee or a free meal or whatever they want for your lateness. And don't let them wait if they're standing out in the snowstorm because that is just straight up torture. You got any final words for us, chat?
• 15:26
  Be on time. We love that. Be on time. Don't forget to like and subscribe, and I'll see you guys on the next. We will see you guys on the next episode.
• 15:36
  Bye. Bye.