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Transcript

How Do I Escape the "Keeping Up with the Joneses" Comparison Trap? · Becoming Financially Confident

• 0:00
  Ralph: Does it feel like you're constantly running a race, you know,
• 0:02
  trying to keep up with what everyone else has, and it's just draining your
• 0:06
  energy, it's draining your joy, and frankly, it's draining your bank account.
• 0:11
  What if you could step off that treadmill and find true freedom
• 0:14
  from that comparison trap?
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  Well, stick with me today because your breakthrough starts here on today's show.
• 0:34
  Hey there.
• 0:35
  Welcome back to your Daily, financially Confident Christian.
• 0:38
  I'm Ralph, and it's always great to be with you again.
• 0:40
  We continue to answer that deep seated question.
• 0:43
  How can I become a financially confident Christian?
• 0:46
  And we're in week two of our series, beyond the Budget, finding Financial
• 0:50
  Freedom through Intentional Living, and we've tackled contentment.
• 0:54
  We've talked about gratitude.
• 0:55
  We've talked about spending by values, trusting God.
• 0:59
  And a little bit about impulse control, and today we're gonna talk
• 1:01
  about how to escape the keeping up with the Jones' comparison trap.
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  Listen, I dunno about you, but I wanna meet them because
• 1:07
  they've got a ton of great stuff.
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  Just think about it for a second.
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  You scroll or chatter, you walk through a neighborhood and all of a sudden you
• 1:15
  see it, that new car or maybe those vacation pictures, or your friend
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  sends you that pictures of their remodeling and all of a sudden you
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  start to think, man, I wish I had that.
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  Your own life feels lacking and you start upgrading, Not because you need it.
• 1:31
  'cause of that comparison.
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  You're trying to keep up with the Joneses, that's what you're doing,
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  and in the end, what does it do?
• 1:39
  It drains your energy because you spend all your time trying to keep up
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  with something you can't keep up with.
• 1:45
  It causes you to go into debt.
• 1:47
  I've seen so many people do that, and the most sinister part of the whole thing.
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  And I want you to hear this, it breeds anxiety because in the end,
• 1:59
  you're chasing this moving goalpost.
• 2:01
  It just keeps going farther and farther out.
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  It's like a football field that just doesn't stop, and you never get to
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  that point of feeling secure and that, that, that comparison, it just
• 2:12
  kills your joy and it just completely halts your financial progress.
• 2:18
  Here's the thing.
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  You gotta understand, our culture feeds off of this comparison, especially online.
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  I, I call it the, the, the, the highlight reel of Facebook and Instagram,
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  and you name TikTok, all of them.
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  It's all about comparison.
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  Look what I have, look what I have.
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  You need to have this too, but I want you to take a second and just talk
• 2:37
  about what scripture warns us about.
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  Look at the Book of Exodus now, often get to the book of Exodus, but Exodus
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  chapter 20, verse 17 says this.
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  You shall not covet and covets all about comparison.
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  Look at the book of Philippians chapter four, verses 11 to 13.
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  I have learned to be content.
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  Whatever the circumstance is, I can do all things through him who gives me strength.
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  Well, let's just sit here for a second and think about this.
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  What is the scripture saying?
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  I have learned to be content, whatever the circumstances, and I can do all things.
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  Not some things, all things for him who gives me strengths.
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  And see, here's the thing I want you to really understand.
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  We make a very bold statement.
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  Comparison is covetousness in disguise.
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  That's what it is.
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  Thou shalt not covet.
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  One of the, one of the main sins of the Bible, well comparison is just that.
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  And on the other side of that coin, contentment.
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  let me just tell you right now, that spiritual strength, because here's
• 3:45
  the thing, you've got to recognize.
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  If you take nothing else away from today's show, God has a unique path
• 3:52
  for you, not your neighbor's path, not your friend onlines path, not your
• 3:55
  girlfriend from work, whoever that is, God has a unique path just for you.
• 4:00
  you weren't ever called to, take someone else's journey.
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  That's their journey.
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  Your journey's a different path.
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  God has a different plan for you.
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  So now you're asking what can we do?
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  How do we step off that comparison treadmill, Ralph, it's so hard to not
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  compare myself to what I have and what the other people don't have or what I don't
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  have, and they have you ready for it.
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  It's a little bit bold, but I think you gotta practice what I'll call
• 4:27
  radical contentment and guard your heart from those comparison triggers.
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  You're like, oh, oh, that's a lot of word, Ralph.
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  What does that mean?
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  It means to celebrate others.
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  Celebrate when they have success, and then focus on your own unique purpose.
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  So I'm gonna give you an action step today to really help you get
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  past this comparison to the Joneses.
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  And it all starts with looking at the, we talked about a
• 4:51
  lot about triggers yesterday.
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  I'm gonna talk about some more today.
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  You gotta learn to limit those comparison triggers.
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  So I'm gonna encourage you right now to identify one
• 5:00
  place that triggers comparison.
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  Maybe for you, it's at social media.
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  We talked about that.
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  I'm scrolling through Facebook and, oh, look at the new car this one has,
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  and look at the vacation they're on.
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  Or look at that fancy new watch or whatever that is.
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  So maybe for you it's social media, sometimes it's a store.
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  You're in the store and I say, oh, I, I gotta have this.
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  Or maybe it's just a person you're around.
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  And you're like, okay, gr, that sounds good, but how do you do it?
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  Well, unfollow, mute, avoider.
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  Even if you have to do it for just a week.
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  Lemme give you some examples.
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  So let's say that your triggers Instagram stories, you'd love to watch
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  Instagram 'cause you like to see what influencer are doing, showing those
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  luxury vacations and it starts to make you feel, I, I wish I could do that.
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  I, I wish I had that option.
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  I wish I had the money to do that.
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  That's a trigger for you.
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  How do you battle that trigger?
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  Unfollow them or mute those accounts for seven days.
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  Maybe you mute 'em forever 'cause you don't need to hear what they have to say.
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  And then just take a look a couple days after that and say, how's my mood now?
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  Because I think you're gonna find your mood's gonna change.
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  How about this?
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  Maybe you're walking through high-end stores at the mall and as you do
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  that, I just don't measure up.
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  Of people feel that I, I've been at the mall before.
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  I'm like, I'm walking through.
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  Look, for me, it's always been a weight thing.
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  Always been a little bit too big to wear the clothes that you find at the
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  mall, and that was this comparison.
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  I, I wish I could wear that.
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  Obviously that's a trigger for me.
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  So don't go to the mall.
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  Avoid that shopping area, even if you do it just for a week.
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  And if you're, well, that's a way to get exercise.
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  Go for a piece of walking in the outdoors or visit a library.
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  Avoid that trigger.
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  How about this trigger?
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  Maybe you've got that coworker who constantly talks about their
• 6:43
  latest purchases, man, every day around the water cooler.
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  They're just talking about, I did this, Ralph and I did that, and I, yes.
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  Great.
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  Well, one of the ways you can avoid that is cut that small talk out together.
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  Maybe just do it for a week or, or redirect those conversations to topics
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  that don't stir that comparison.
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  You're like, okay, Ralph, I can avoid the triggers.
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  But then you mentioned something a few minutes ago about that envy thing.
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  'cause honestly, I think that's the bigger part of this, and that is what
• 7:11
  do I do when I'm tempted with envy?
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  I'm gonna give you a couple examples of this.
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  I mean, basically I want you to just say, you know, thank God for blessing
• 7:19
  them, help them help me rejoice them.
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  But lemme give you some examples.
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  So let's say you have a friend and a friend post about buying a new car.
• 7:26
  Hey, they got the fancy, you were like, oh wow, I wish I could have that car.
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  But a friend post about that, he bought a new car.
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  Here's what I want you to say to yourself.
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  thank God for blessing them.
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  You gave them an opportunity and then help them to celebrate that.
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  Hey, that's so cool.
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  That's a cool car.
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  I'd love to go for a ride in it sometime.
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  Or maybe you've got this family member who shares about getting a
• 7:48
  raise or a promotion and working.
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  Man, I'd love to get a raise.
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  I haven't had a raise in forever.
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  Promotions.
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  They don't even do those here.
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  And maybe at that point you say, God, listen, I trust your timing for me.
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  I know it's not my time yet, but Lord, I sure.
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  Thank you for their breakthrough.
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  See, I'm, I'm flipping a script on that envy, or maybe this
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  one, and I felt this one myself.
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  Someone shares their weight loss transformation or maybe
• 8:15
  they remodeled their home.
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  You're like, man, I wish I could lose weight like that.
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  I wish I could be that skinnier.
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  I could be that, that, that it ain't shape and you know, I
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  wanna compare myself to them.
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  No, but don't do that.
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  Just say, Lord, thank you for working in their life, and Lord, just teach
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  me to be joyfully present in my own.
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  So find ways to break that envy and then do this.
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  And this is absolutely critical.
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  Focus on your unique path.
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  How do you do that?
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  Here's what you do.
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  Write two or three blessings unique to you.
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  You know, maybe you have a strong, supportive spouse.
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  Well, you don't know what that other person's going through yet.
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  Maybe they got the brand new car, but their spouse or
• 8:55
  relationship is a nightmare.
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  Or maybe you have the ability to work from home.
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  You don't even have to deal with the water.
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  Cool.
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  And you see everybody else leaving the neighborhood in the morning where you're
• 9:03
  like, cool, I can work in my pajamas.
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  I don't have to go anywhere.
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  Or maybe you've got a garden.
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  And that garden just brings you peace.
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  And then as you reflect, say, Lord, just thank you for this simple, rich life.
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  I don't wanna trade it for anything.
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  See, that's how you break that comparison.
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  You start looking at your blessings.
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  Maybe look at your skills.
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  Maybe you're listening to this right now.
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  You're saying, Ralph, you know what I've done the things you talked about,
• 9:28
  man, I am doing great financially.
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  Well, there's a blessing.
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  The Lord has blessed you.
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  He's given you a second chance after a financial hardship, and maybe you
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  have the skills to help other people.
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  Or maybe your children make you laugh every day and just
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  think about it like this.
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  God, I see how you've been faithful to me, and Lord, help
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  me to stay focused on the road.
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  You've marked for me my path.
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  And now you're probably saying, Ralph, how does this help?
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  Well, here's what it does.
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  Obviously it disarms that envy.
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  That envy is what causes you to stay stuck in that cycle of comparison.
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  It truly reframes your, it reframes your blessings.
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  And when you do those things, it brings you peace and it
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  brings you focus on your path.
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  Well, let's pray together.
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  Father God, we just thank you for designing us all uniquely
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  with our own paths and our own things that make us who we are.
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  And Lord, we confess to you right now that we fall into that comparison cycle.
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  We just do, Lord, it's who we are.
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  Help us to break free of that, free us from that envy Lord, and free us from that
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  false identity that lies to us and tells us that we need to be something we're not.
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  And help us find contentment and help us to find clarity, Lord, not in stuff.
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  Not in the stuff at the mall, not at the stuff online, but in you, Lord.
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  And help us to celebrate others and honor our path that we're on, and we
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  ask this in confidence in Jesus' name.
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  Amen.
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  Listen, freedom comes when you stop keeping up with others.
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  That's when you will truly find freedom and live fully in God's
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  unique design for your life.
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  So filter that comparison, affirm others, and focus on your purpose.
• 11:12
  I'm gonna ask you to do me a favor right now.
• 11:14
  If this show, or if this episode has impacted your life, I want
• 11:18
  you to share it with somebody.
• 11:20
  Just send them a text, send them an email and say, Hey, check this out.
• 11:23
  Go to financially confident christian.com.
• 11:26
  Tell 'em about what this show has meant to you.
• 11:29
  And while you're there, if you wanna get a copy of my book, I'm gonna
• 11:32
  give it to you absolutely free.
• 11:33
  It's called Mastering Your Finances.
• 11:34
  You get to that by going to financially confident christian.com/master.
• 11:39
  It's a short book, but let me just tell you right now, it is hugely impactful.
• 11:45
  Now, tomorrow we're gonna change this subject a little bit and we're
• 11:48
  gonna talk about this question.
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  How do I define what enough really is?
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  I don't want you to miss that show because we're really gonna talk about
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  how do I define what enough really is?
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  Now let's all go out there and be financially confident.
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  Christians, you can do this.
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  I believe in you.
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  I, I believe in you a hundred percent.
• 12:10
  Believe in yourself.
• 12:11
  Stay financially savvy.
• 12:12
  God bless you, and you have a great day today.