Latest / Dear Son, / Because of Alcohol | From DUI to DWI Dad With Influence | Ep 220 | The Dear Son, Show

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Because of Alcohol | From DUI to DWI Dad With Influence | Ep 220 | The Dear Son, Show · Dear Son,

0:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Basically because of alcohol, I had multiple de-wise Also had because of alcohol.
0:07
[SPEAKER_00]: I used to fight.
0:09
[SPEAKER_00]: I was I was a type of person where people would invite me Because they knew one there's gonna be math emails around and then two if something happens We got Steve and so
0:27
[SPEAKER_00]: went through a series of like, just getting arrested back to back to back to back.
0:33
[SPEAKER_00]: And the crazy part is, after my second DUI, that was a turn into a film.
0:40
[SPEAKER_00]: It was, it was a DUI, I got a DUI with a GBI, which is a great violin injury, right?
0:50
[SPEAKER_00]: And this was after a whole weekend in San Diego, I was on a bender,
0:57
[SPEAKER_00]: was seeing multiple different women just doing all types of drugs and drinking and I was coming back home and ended up hitting the car in front of me, car was inoperable and stayed on the freeway and the person that I was with was like, I gotta go and say what and the person
1:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Some lady picked us up, right?
1:32
[SPEAKER_00]: And dropped us off out of hotel.
1:35
[SPEAKER_00]: And from there, the cops came knocking on the hotel door.
1:46
[SPEAKER_01]: We got enough of the small talking.
1:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's get it, man.
1:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Welcome to the Dead Sun Show.
1:52
[SPEAKER_01]: We have meaningful conversations about life through the lens of Fatherhood.
1:56
[SPEAKER_01]: It is four fathers, those with fathers, and the Fatherless, so nobody's left out.
2:02
[SPEAKER_01]: These are the conversations on one of my sons, the access as they grow through light and to manhood, so no topics are off limits today.
2:10
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm y'all the hostie, John, but we got my guy Steve Anderson in the building.
2:14
[SPEAKER_00]: How you feeling my brother man?
2:16
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm blessed bro.
2:17
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm appreciative and honored to be on this network and be talking to you bro having the conversation.
2:23
[SPEAKER_01]: Man, you didn't.
2:23
[SPEAKER_01]: You end the door man.
2:24
[SPEAKER_01]: You got good dad drive, man.
2:25
[SPEAKER_01]: So good dad drive right on to that.
2:27
[SPEAKER_01]: Y'all make sure y'all follow them.
2:29
[SPEAKER_01]: They're not taking over the channel quite yet.
2:32
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.
2:33
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know what Maggie here, you know, he might, he might have some angles on this wild boy, but now I've been impressed with what's all doing man, and now I appreciate it, and my my y'all a much younger than me.
2:43
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I believe that's true.
2:44
[SPEAKER_01]: It's up for a rock.
2:47
[SPEAKER_01]: I found that out on camera.
2:48
[SPEAKER_01]: They're Rob.
2:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, hey, Rob is the uncle of our group.
2:53
[SPEAKER_00]: And we got a, you know, we have our meetings.
2:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Most of us are free at like nine o'clock, and he like.
2:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, it might be my bedtime y'all ain't y'all ain't see me on.
3:02
[SPEAKER_01]: That's not cuz I'm ain't Yeah, I'm ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't
3:29
[SPEAKER_01]: their options below.
3:31
[SPEAKER_01]: There's a check it out, you know, saying a couple dollars, there's a little bit more.
3:34
[SPEAKER_01]: If you want to be really invested, there's a little bit more.
3:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Nothing but me though.
3:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Steve, man, are you feeling?
3:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Man, I'm good, bro.
3:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Good.
3:41
[SPEAKER_01]: What does that mean?
3:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Because I use that, I've used that for decades.
3:46
[SPEAKER_01]: And I ain't been good when I said it.
3:47
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what?
3:48
[SPEAKER_00]: We've actually worked on this.
3:50
[SPEAKER_00]: We talk about this a lot in the tribe.
3:52
[SPEAKER_00]: When I say I'm good, obviously, that's a short answer.
3:55
[SPEAKER_00]: The real answer is,
3:58
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm in a season right now in my life where I'm coming out of some darkness, and once I went back to the source, which has got when I'm aligned with him, then you just start happening.
4:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Opportunity start presenting itself, and it's something that I'm grateful for.
4:19
[SPEAKER_00]: So I say, I'm good in a humble way, but internally I'm excited.
4:23
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm excited about what God is doing, I'm excited about.
4:28
[SPEAKER_00]: where I'm at right now in my life.
4:30
[SPEAKER_01]: So going back to the source, man, I understand that completely.
4:33
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to a variation of a stage in life that I think we kind of, I kind of touched on when me and Jay Black were on a good-dad child platform.
4:43
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
4:43
[SPEAKER_01]: It's humble.
4:47
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm past the scary part and it's I pass the finding it is scary.
4:53
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I have no clue how this thing's going to work out.
4:57
[SPEAKER_01]: That's not that's not how I prefer to live and I understand why I need this season man.
5:06
[SPEAKER_01]: What is the what is this season teaching you about you that gave you an oh I needed this kind of moment.
5:13
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like when you're going through that tough season, when it's like scary, there's a bunch of uncertainty, we all want to know the answers to the tests, right?
5:25
[SPEAKER_00]: And the reality is now where I'm at currently right now in October, I understand why I had to go through certain hardships.
5:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Context.
5:44
[SPEAKER_00]: So passes kids can go one or two ways.
5:48
[SPEAKER_00]: You either hold your den now from out the womb or you a heathen.
5:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Try to prove you not a pass is key.
5:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Bruh, Bruh.
5:58
[SPEAKER_00]: So you talking about at our early age, having people come up to me and say, bro, you're anointed, you're a leader, right?
6:08
[SPEAKER_00]: And the good thing that I love about my parents
6:14
[SPEAKER_00]: is he never put that pressure on me, but I put that on myself.
6:19
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, seeing him, he's like, he's like perfect to me, I call him move awesome.
6:26
[SPEAKER_00]: He's well respected if you meet him, he's the coolest brother you ever meet.
6:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Very chill, very late back.
6:34
[SPEAKER_00]: But when I was growing up, he wasn't that relatable because he was so perfect.
6:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Never drank, never smoke, you know what I'm saying?
6:45
[SPEAKER_00]: God say better, early age didn't really go through any hardship.
6:49
[SPEAKER_00]: I was looking at that as my barometer and being like, yeah, nah.
6:57
[SPEAKER_00]: So out of early age, I'll learn how to be a comedian.
7:04
[SPEAKER_01]: of the parallels that are drawn here.
7:06
[SPEAKER_01]: My father was not a pastor, but he was an elder, treasurer.
7:13
[SPEAKER_01]: I think he just stepped down.
7:14
[SPEAKER_01]: He was enough a leadership position in church, my entire life.
7:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, saying from earliest memory.
7:23
[SPEAKER_01]: So I know what it is.
7:25
[SPEAKER_01]: Not that I ever pushed the line to act up in church, but I know what it is to fill the eye.
7:31
[SPEAKER_01]: and meet a standard of our family as this.
7:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
7:37
[SPEAKER_01]: It was never like pushed like we didn't have family meetings about hey, this is who we are.
7:42
[SPEAKER_01]: In terms of reputation, there are definitely conversations about who we are, who we are in Christ and what this family stands for.
7:49
[SPEAKER_01]: But it was never a pressure like you were talking about where not once.
7:55
[SPEAKER_01]: It was a conversation about being a certain way.
7:57
[SPEAKER_00]: No.
8:01
[SPEAKER_01]: as that pressure, in the relatability thing, man, that's the thing that we did I work through with my father by way of this platform.
8:10
[SPEAKER_01]: I hear you had a life before, man.
8:11
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, as most parents do, yeah.
8:14
[SPEAKER_01]: My kids are meeting me, yes to me, through this platform.
8:18
[SPEAKER_00]: I agree.
8:18
[SPEAKER_00]: A lot of it.
8:19
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the same thing that's happening with me through the good that tribe.
8:23
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that was funnier, it's like my kids.
8:27
[SPEAKER_00]: They've always known every time we go somewhere,
8:30
[SPEAKER_00]: everybody knows me.
8:31
[SPEAKER_00]: So they're they're used to that, but I think that they're seeing a difference and they have been seeing a difference in me in the last what I say four or five years strictly because they used I went from hey don't touch this drink to
8:53
[SPEAKER_00]: being sober for the first time, and battling through certain addictions, and even like in Poster Syndrome.
9:05
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, going as far as you want to go on that, but for me, like it was, I was trying to live this duality of carrying my Paris name while living who I wanted to be, and that where they would never, they were always in conflict.
9:20
[SPEAKER_01]: truth is true.
9:21
[SPEAKER_01]: They're always in conflict.
9:22
[SPEAKER_01]: Same.
9:22
[SPEAKER_01]: So that was a version of me that I did I had to be even nail the way I deliver certain thoughts.
9:31
[SPEAKER_01]: It's through a filter of my parents to watch.
9:34
[SPEAKER_00]: Correct.
9:35
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?
9:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you want to honor them, right?
9:38
[SPEAKER_00]: You want to be mindful.
9:39
[SPEAKER_00]: You want to respect them.
9:40
[SPEAKER_00]: You want to make sure that
9:43
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, you don't make the name look bad, but at the same time, and this is actually out of conversation with my dad prior to coming here.
9:51
[SPEAKER_00]: And he said, man, he's always encouraged me to be me.
9:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Embrace your failures, embrace your success.
9:58
[SPEAKER_00]: because I've had a lot of it, but don't be shy about your past because there's somebody that is going to watch or is going to listen to you where you're relatable to them.
10:12
[SPEAKER_00]: And that may be the only way that they can see Christ through you.
10:18
[SPEAKER_01]: How do you carry the way to that in this season with shoulder ring, the uncertainties of where life is going and I'm asking myself,
10:28
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a challenge for me.
10:30
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a day by day thing, man.
10:31
[SPEAKER_00]: I think we talk about this thing and to get that trial.
10:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Kobe has this famous thing, like Iso, right?
10:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Does this sign?
10:39
[SPEAKER_00]: And we talk about this as far as, like, hey, no Iso's.
10:42
[SPEAKER_00]: And so earlier this year, last year, I,
10:48
[SPEAKER_00]: embarked on leaving corporate for 12 years and started became an entrepreneur and I was excited.
10:58
[SPEAKER_00]: I was pumped.
10:59
[SPEAKER_00]: I had a game plan.
11:00
[SPEAKER_00]: I wrote everything down.
11:02
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like, man, I'm about to blow it up.
11:05
[SPEAKER_00]: And New Year's Eve had a conversation with my daughter and found out that she was having
11:17
[SPEAKER_00]: and it rocked me to the core like all the plans that I had everything that I wanted to do business wise.
11:28
[SPEAKER_00]: It went out the window.
11:30
[SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't focus on it.
11:32
[SPEAKER_00]: We immediately heard her mom and I immediately that day called her over.
11:37
[SPEAKER_00]: She came down.
11:38
[SPEAKER_00]: We had a long conversation
11:47
[SPEAKER_00]: called it their pitch right away.
11:50
[SPEAKER_00]: That Saturday, she went to her first therapy appointment and I took her and so that was the, that's how this year started fast forward to right now.
12:03
[SPEAKER_00]: My daughter's relationship and just to see her growth.
12:07
[SPEAKER_00]: Man is, it's a,
12:14
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm proud of her.
12:15
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
12:16
[SPEAKER_01]: How old is he?
12:17
[SPEAKER_01]: 13.
12:19
[SPEAKER_01]: I have a, oh, yeah, I have a 13.
12:22
[SPEAKER_00]: 13 year old.
12:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
12:27
[SPEAKER_01]: Did we, um, so that was that that was an episode, um, a few years ago with him.
12:38
[SPEAKER_01]: And he was talking about his, his, uh, he asked some struggles and therapy was required in the dynamics of his family.
12:48
[SPEAKER_01]: And a, a thought came up in conversation was like, man, I want, I want my children.
12:54
[SPEAKER_01]: to be self-aware enough to ask for therapy?
12:59
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
12:59
[SPEAKER_01]: But I don't want my children to need therapy.
13:02
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, hold on for a minute.
13:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Because of how that points to me, which is not the point of it, but as an honest story.
13:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Bro, the reality is the reason why I rocked me so hard is because I consider myself a failure because of that, right?
13:24
[SPEAKER_00]: my own additions and things that I went through being in prison the whole night, right?
13:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Fatherhood was the one thing that I was like, I do this well.
13:38
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I blame myself.
13:42
[SPEAKER_00]: I blamed
13:48
[SPEAKER_00]: It's one of those things where it's like, because I'm a pastor's kid, I never thought that I was gonna go to prison.
13:54
[SPEAKER_00]: I never thought that I was going to struggle with addictions.
13:59
[SPEAKER_00]: I never thought that I was going to have a family where my wife and I are no longer together.
14:12
[SPEAKER_00]: And to raise my three children, seeing them every other week, I never thought those things.
14:20
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, for me, it was, I took it hard.
14:29
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's crazy because one of my favorite verses is first Corinthians 10, 13.
14:34
[SPEAKER_00]: And it says, no temptation as overtaking you such as common to man, but God is faithful.
14:41
[SPEAKER_00]: and that he will provide an escape.
14:45
[SPEAKER_00]: So that way, you may be able to bear it.
14:47
[SPEAKER_00]: And the crazy part of that verse is that I've realized and, you know, I talked to a man about this all the time.
14:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Every single time that we go through hardship, the Lord does provide an escape, but that escape is our choice if we decide that we're going to take it.
15:07
[SPEAKER_00]: And a lot of times when things come up, right?
15:11
[SPEAKER_00]: We have that choice of, are you going to revert back to what you want to do, right?
15:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Or are you actually going to be faithful and learn how to trust that God is in control and that he's going to work this out?
15:28
[SPEAKER_00]: And I revert it back, started drinking again.
15:33
[SPEAKER_00]: And any time that I start drinking,
15:38
[SPEAKER_01]: self-awareness, man.
15:41
[SPEAKER_01]: I grew up in a house that there was no alcohol.
15:43
[SPEAKER_01]: There was no tobacco.
15:44
[SPEAKER_01]: No.
15:45
[SPEAKER_01]: In the religion that that would you took that was part of the doctrine correct.
15:50
[SPEAKER_01]: That's you stayed away from those things.
15:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
15:52
[SPEAKER_01]: So I never saw it.
15:53
[SPEAKER_01]: I found out probably on this show a get probably because of the show that my dad went to jail for.
16:02
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, I guess I have alcohol in public or something like that.
16:05
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:05
[SPEAKER_01]: And you start to start on lots of day like like, like, hell, no, he, I made him as the only other side.
16:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, he was a person, a whole person leading up to that.
16:16
[SPEAKER_01]: You, um, and your conversations with your father, that's all not that came to mind because of my story.
16:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Did you learn like at what point did he become a human to you or was he always dead if I'm putting too much on the living No, no, no, no, I'll be honest my father became I no longer looked at my father as an idol once Once I got out of prison to be honest
16:50
[SPEAKER_00]: What's what took you I was going to let it yeah, but you know I have no problem with what was the type of how So this was man
17:02
[SPEAKER_00]: I think I first started getting the rest to when I was like in my 20s, bro.
17:07
[SPEAKER_00]: Uh, so basically because of alcohol, I had multiple de-wise.
17:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Also had because of alcohol.
17:17
[SPEAKER_00]: I used to fight.
17:18
[SPEAKER_00]: I was, I was a type of person where people would invite me because they knew one, there's
17:32
[SPEAKER_00]: We got Steve, and so went through a series of like, just getting arrested back to back to back to back.
17:43
[SPEAKER_00]: And the crazy part is, after my second DUI, that was a turn into a film.
17:50
[SPEAKER_00]: It was a DUI, I got a DUI with a GBI, which is a great violin injury, right?
18:00
[SPEAKER_00]: And this was after a whole weekend in San Diego.
18:03
[SPEAKER_00]: I was on a bender.
18:05
[SPEAKER_00]: I literally was seeing multiple different women just doing.
18:11
[SPEAKER_00]: all types of drugs and drinking, and I was coming back home and ended up hitting the car in front of me, car was inoperable, and stayed on the freeway and the person that I was with was like, I got it wrong, and the person was like, yeah, we got to go ran across the freeway.
18:39
[SPEAKER_00]: some lady picked this up right and dropped us off out of hotel and from there the cops came knocking on the hotel door and I got arrested and my dad it was currently in Texas.
18:58
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm from California.
18:59
[SPEAKER_00]: So my dad flew from Texas.
19:04
[SPEAKER_00]: and was there at my first hearing and they were looking at giving me because this is my second one and I have multiple strings of getting arrested.
19:13
[SPEAKER_00]: They were looking at giving me eight years a half and so my dad who I say is the greatest
19:22
[SPEAKER_00]: ends up talking to the district attorney of San Diego, and said, hey, my son is a good kid.
19:30
[SPEAKER_00]: He's a really good kid.
19:32
[SPEAKER_00]: He just has a little problem.
19:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Please, if you can, lower his bell, you know, you know, he's got some plans afterwards.
19:43
[SPEAKER_00]: They lower my bell, I came home and the crazy part is, my daughter was about to be one
19:53
[SPEAKER_00]: After I came home, I told my dad, my mentor at the time, I want to go to rehab, and they were like, let's do it.
20:05
[SPEAKER_00]: I talked to the mother of my kids and was like, hey, after her birthday, I'm literally checking myself into rehab.
20:17
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's exactly what happened.
20:20
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to rehab.
20:23
[SPEAKER_00]: And it was a Christian rehab and the funny part is, if you've ever, if you're from California, it's in him and him is, I don't know how, I don't know what's equivalent to that here in Texas.
20:37
[SPEAKER_00]: but it's kind of like the armpit of um california I thought that was bakersville no shade but it's similar that's what I'm saying it's but it's worse it's worse than bakersville I mean it's sorry sorry double on top of your words I'm sorry but the crazy part is for six months
21:02
[SPEAKER_00]: did not drink, didn't have access to any of those things and because of the foundation that I had in Christ and because of my dad's mentorship and just him being there, non-stop, I looked at him and I was just like, man, my dad is the realest person.
21:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, he, this was I messed up so much in my life and he's never looked at me this, she's never looked at me different.
21:30
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, it's rare to see a human have the love that God has for us on their kids and that's the reason why I respect that man so much and love him to this day.
21:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
21:59
[SPEAKER_00]: At this time, are you married when all that happened or that's, that's, that's, so that's the part of the testimony as well, so wasn't, wasn't married, you know, my best friend that we, we went to high school together, didn't date at that time.
22:20
[SPEAKER_00]: the audience is supposed to correlate that that's who you are.
22:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
22:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
22:26
[SPEAKER_00]: So we weren't married.
22:28
[SPEAKER_00]: During that, during that time while I was in Rhea, I tried, I basically was like, hey, give me another chance.
22:40
[SPEAKER_00]: And we did a pre-marital counseling.
22:43
[SPEAKER_00]: And I proposed, she said yes.
22:47
[SPEAKER_00]: And we got married, and for three years, bro, I was locked in, became a youth pastor, uh, worked out a Christian resort, where things just blew up.
23:01
[SPEAKER_00]: We had our own condoled, things was great, had our second child, and yeah, man, that's, uh, and then I failed again.
23:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Related to alcohol?
23:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
23:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Is that something you want to talk about?
23:19
[SPEAKER_01]: We can talk about it.
23:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
23:22
[SPEAKER_01]: We'll add it.
23:24
[SPEAKER_01]: How did it show back up?
23:26
[SPEAKER_01]: Like after going to rehab and positioning yourself and with sounds like a community that would kind of keep you focus how did it pre-beck in?
23:40
[SPEAKER_00]: I've always been a type of person where I don't like to be told I can't do something.
23:45
[SPEAKER_01]: You, I, I could always your father.
23:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, like, the story is, okay, I'm sorry, go ahead.
23:52
[SPEAKER_00]: So a crap back in, I want to go watch a basketball game with my boys and decide it after three years of being sober.
24:05
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just going to have a beer, had a beer.
24:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Watch the game, just coming back home, and uh, got pulled over.
24:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, it wasn't drunk, but because I was on probation, because I was on probation, and I was on to say about it, uh, they took me back to jail.
24:34
[SPEAKER_00]: We hired a lawyer.
24:36
[SPEAKER_00]: My dad comes through again.
24:42
[SPEAKER_00]: The crazy thing is they said that was going to be a misdemeanor and because it was some small in my opinion, I was like, oh, very cool.
24:52
[SPEAKER_00]: And when my lawyer represented me in court, she calls me literally the same dance that you're going to have to turn yourself in because this is your third DUI in three different counties in five years.
25:10
[SPEAKER_00]: the judge is sending you to prison, the sign, and it kind of rocked me, because it was one moment that I just wanted to just hang out with some old friends.
25:25
[SPEAKER_00]: that altered not only my life, but now my family's life at this point out of a wife, having my oldest daughter and my son.
25:36
[SPEAKER_00]: And now I have to tell not only my family, but my employer who is a big Christian organization that was at, hey, I'm not, I'm going to be
25:53
[SPEAKER_00]: And it scared me because I was in leadership, Adam men's a young men's platform that I was doing, and things were rolling in my life and it's crazy how one decision can change that.
26:11
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, I've also just realized, bro, that everything that has happened in my life has been self-infliction.
26:25
[SPEAKER_01]: You turn that corner before I could, because I was, the one decision can change absolutely agree, but sometimes it's the one decision that's caught.
26:44
[SPEAKER_01]: that pivots, how life happens for you after that.
26:48
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's sometimes we assign it to a decision.
26:54
[SPEAKER_00]: When a reality has been a series of decisions.
26:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Correct, fair.
27:01
[SPEAKER_00]: No, that is, bro, you hit it on the head.
27:04
[SPEAKER_00]: I think, yeah, there's the book of James Bro.
27:10
[SPEAKER_00]: It talks about, oh God, doesn't tempt you, right?
27:14
[SPEAKER_00]: But it talks about how this, it talks about the series of sin.
27:17
[SPEAKER_00]: And the series of sins, sin basically starts with us and sin, and scenario ourselves through our own desires.
27:29
[SPEAKER_00]: And when you think about it, and when I look at my life, you're 100% right, it starts with a thought first.
27:37
[SPEAKER_00]: And then from that thought, you didn't begin to entertain a little bit.
27:42
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't, there's no from one to 100.
27:46
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a progression, right?
27:48
[SPEAKER_00]: And so every pitfall, every fall that I've had, started with that thought, then it became, put in myself in certain environments.
28:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Then it became, I'm just gonna just do this little bit.
28:06
[SPEAKER_00]: than it fell on there.
28:09
[SPEAKER_01]: The execution of the final act is typically just that correct.
28:14
[SPEAKER_01]: You hit for me, I'm not speaking for you.
28:16
[SPEAKER_01]: I have a lot of times I've already negotiated multiple outcomes.
28:21
[SPEAKER_01]: I could work this way that way and how I'm fine with it and how I'm not fine with it.
28:25
[SPEAKER_01]: Then I go do the thing.
28:27
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I want to say, oh, it was just the, yeah, it wasn't, it wasn't a moment of weakness.
28:34
[SPEAKER_01]: It was a,
28:36
[SPEAKER_01]: A car is a stream of thought over time.
28:38
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
28:39
[SPEAKER_01]: That.
28:40
[SPEAKER_01]: When the opportunity presented itself, all I could do is execute because I'd already had it in my mind that this is how it was going to go.
28:47
[SPEAKER_01]: And even then to go, this way is worth the risk.
28:51
[SPEAKER_01]: It is.
28:51
[SPEAKER_00]: It's worth the risk.
28:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Counting the cost is something that people don't talk about.
28:57
[SPEAKER_00]: What we're thinking about at all, right?
29:01
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's something that my dad has taught me.
29:02
[SPEAKER_00]: When I was growing up, my dad used to ask me one question every single day.
29:08
[SPEAKER_00]: And you asked me, what type of man you want to be?
29:11
[SPEAKER_00]: And I used to like, it was weird, because I was really good at basketball.
29:16
[SPEAKER_00]: I was really good at a lot of things.
29:17
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm thinking of myself, you talk to them about bro, like I'm doing well, right?
29:23
[SPEAKER_00]: But now, as we have conversations all the time, I talked to my dad all the time, understand what he means by that.
29:32
[SPEAKER_00]: What type of man do you want to be?
29:35
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not necessarily more about what you want to be known for, or how you want to be perceived by others, but what real integrity is, is are you going to be the same person in front of everyone while you're by yourself, do those things match up, and so
29:58
[SPEAKER_00]: Man, shut up some of my possum, man.
29:59
[SPEAKER_00]: That is what I let you know, man.
30:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, for anyone that is watching the only reason why I'm doing this is because of the encouragement from him and my mom and my family.
30:09
[SPEAKER_00]: But I think it's really, really important to understand that you are not going to be defined by your past.
30:19
[SPEAKER_00]: The caveat is this stuff.
30:21
[SPEAKER_00]: And this is something that I'm actively learning.
30:24
[SPEAKER_00]: You can't keep going through the same test, though, too.
30:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, at some point, you're going to have to really make a real change.
30:34
[SPEAKER_01]: So that, how much time did you actually have to serve because of that year and a half?
30:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Year and a half?
30:43
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
30:44
[SPEAKER_01]: What did that do to the family dynamic?
30:49
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it brought us closer.
30:53
[SPEAKER_00]: What's crazy is, while I was inside, the people there
31:03
[SPEAKER_00]: They were like, bro, you don't belong here.
31:07
[SPEAKER_00]: And it was funny because, you know, from California, the gang bank culture is really, is real, you know.
31:13
[SPEAKER_00]: And so a lot of people in my mom's side, they're all trips.
31:18
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, you know, I was in that lifestyle, you know, to mean, I was hanging out with those type of individuals, saw a lot of things, saw a lot of things.
31:28
[SPEAKER_00]: So while I was in there, I tried to acclimate like I normally do.
31:32
[SPEAKER_00]: and it became something where one of the major shot parlors, I'll just say that, uh, was I broke, be yourself in here, but we're gonna protect you, uh, you know, at the trip.
31:45
[SPEAKER_00]: And it started with me just, I told my mom to send me a Bible.
31:49
[SPEAKER_00]: She sent me a Bible, told her to send me some books.
31:52
[SPEAKER_00]: So as I'm reading in there, I'm doing my devotion every single day.
31:56
[SPEAKER_00]: We sit in that, I'm sitting at the table, and as I'm doing my time, the table gets bigger.
32:04
[SPEAKER_00]: By the time that I left, that was getting that week, that I was getting ready to leave for prison.
32:13
[SPEAKER_00]: The whole dorm shut down, the CEO,
32:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Shut the TV off, now this is crazy because in prison you don't mess with people's TV.
32:22
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't mess with people's break time Shut the TV off and Because the Bible study was growing so much Everyone sat down and I was able to preach a message and 40 dudes got saved and So That's the reason why
32:47
[SPEAKER_00]: It's so important to me now to use my mistakes to just try to help somebody else bro.
32:54
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
32:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, what was the transition like after reactivating the first thing was getting out of that environment, which was California.
33:07
[SPEAKER_00]: Some of my wife was like, we gotta go, my parents, my family, they were already here in Texas for years and so we moved to Texas and that's what basically kind of changed the direction, but I realized, you know, we came here was able to develop,
33:34
[SPEAKER_00]: At this point now, I'll have three kids.
33:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Things are going great, but the one thing that you can't change is because of the decisions that I've made.
33:46
[SPEAKER_00]: My wife has scars, and if I have one regret, I don't like living in regret, but that is my one regret is how my decisions affected her and our relationship.
34:06
[SPEAKER_00]: So React Committee was it was it was cool, but I also had to realize Scar's a scar her yeah, you can be over it, but it doesn't necessarily mean that that person is The interesting about scars that they are a side of healing
34:30
[SPEAKER_01]: But that doesn't give the offended right to pick a desk and add any point, 100, at any point.
34:37
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's a constant reminder of, that's the point of, yes, it's a reminder of the thing that you need to be conscious of.
34:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, forevermore.
34:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, evermore.
34:49
[SPEAKER_01]: So how did it go?
34:50
[SPEAKER_01]: How did best friend, and I picked on you saying, not picked, I pointed out you said best friend,
34:57
[SPEAKER_01]: because I think that off-camera you reference her as that today.
35:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
35:07
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to say how like it shouldn't be here.
35:11
[SPEAKER_01]: Stories progressing, best friends, marriage, decisions called you.
35:19
[SPEAKER_01]: you mentioned earlier on it did you no longer marry how are you how are you still I guess that's the an example of true best friends maybe answer my whole question I don't know what no I think that
35:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Man, we were together for like probably 17 years total, right?
35:39
[SPEAKER_00]: We were married for 12 and we knew each other in high school.
35:45
[SPEAKER_00]: So we literally grew up.
35:47
[SPEAKER_00]: She knows everything about me and I can call her my best friend because no matter what we're going to have each other's back.
36:00
[SPEAKER_00]: And the one thing that it hasn't affected is how our parents and styles.
36:06
[SPEAKER_00]: And so we are lying on that and always have been, I think the detriment was more of the cycle that we put ourselves through, which I'll take ownership of that because if I didn't make certain decisions, going back to decisions that I made, it wouldn't have been certain responses or reactions from her.
36:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Have you forgiven yourself?
36:39
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to say that I've fully forgiven myself, but I'm actively working on it.
36:48
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what I can say.
36:51
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm working on that through the relationships that I have now, my accountability that I have now haven't structured as far as what I allow who I entertain, who I give access to.
37:08
[SPEAKER_00]: And then really, just kind of focusing on my kids, my relationship with my kids is probably
37:22
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think it's because I saw my dad's humanity later on in life.
37:29
[SPEAKER_00]: They're 13, 10, and 7, and the conversations that we have now.
37:36
[SPEAKER_00]: They already know that as a human.
37:38
[SPEAKER_00]: So they have that access, certainly.
37:44
[SPEAKER_01]: What is the, how would you describe your parenting style?
37:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Because first time I met you, your children were there.
37:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
37:50
[SPEAKER_01]: And I got a vibe, but you were being, but how would you, how would they define your parenting style?
37:56
[SPEAKER_00]: I asked my daughter this other day and my son this other day.
38:00
[SPEAKER_00]: And he goes, you're the fun dad.
38:04
[SPEAKER_00]: But you're also the one that is structure.
38:08
[SPEAKER_00]: I am the type where everything is a life lesson.
38:12
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm talking about it, it can be from the anime shows that we're watching, my kids love anime.
38:18
[SPEAKER_00]: So Naruto is like one of the things that we do.
38:22
[SPEAKER_00]: That's our bonding time.
38:23
[SPEAKER_01]: You just told me how to pronounce it.
38:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's so, a life lesson is in everything for me.
38:34
[SPEAKER_00]: And so we have fun, but I also don't want them to be raised with entitlement.
38:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Because they have things, they know that in order to get certain things hard work goes behind it.
38:51
[SPEAKER_00]: And so there is structure, but we're gonna turn it up too.
38:56
[SPEAKER_00]: We're gonna have fun.
38:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I think that's important now.
38:59
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it's important to
39:02
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, let me ask you this in.
39:04
[SPEAKER_01]: See how you feel about, how are you, how do you manage to not bleed on them?
39:15
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that's kind of hard not to be honest, okay.
39:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I'm very transparent with my kids based on their maturity level.
39:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I don't tell my 70-year-old like, oh, that has been a prison or whatever the case may be.
39:30
[SPEAKER_00]: but they do know that like that is real, you know?
39:36
[SPEAKER_00]: So I do find that heart not to bleed on them in a little bit because
39:43
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm very open with them and I want them to see my humanity.
39:48
[SPEAKER_00]: I want them to see that I am not perfect in that I am flawed.
39:52
[SPEAKER_00]: But every single day once that morning was that new morning hits, that's a new day to get one percent better.
40:01
[SPEAKER_00]: And so that's what we talk about all the time.
40:02
[SPEAKER_00]: We do a morning affirmation and we talk about integrity.
40:07
[SPEAKER_00]: You talk about these things.
40:08
[SPEAKER_00]: So before school, that's something that we do every single day.
40:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Whatever happened yesterday, that's fine.
40:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'm moving forward today.
40:19
[SPEAKER_01]: What do you, what do you proud of as it relates to them?
40:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Like the type of humans that you see them be.
40:28
[SPEAKER_01]: When you're not even asking in these questions or giving them these stories, what is it and them that you see that you're like, oh, thank you, God.
40:37
[SPEAKER_01]: The current trends that kids do, yeah.
40:43
[SPEAKER_00]: My oldest is an artist.
40:46
[SPEAKER_00]: She's a storyteller.
40:49
[SPEAKER_00]: My son is into coding and engineering.
40:53
[SPEAKER_00]: My youngest is the diva of the group.
40:55
[SPEAKER_00]: So she's the entertainer.
40:57
[SPEAKER_00]: She's the lively one.
41:00
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's what I'm proud of.
41:02
[SPEAKER_00]: They at an early age, they understand who they are and they're comfortable with who they are.
41:08
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's something that I want to continue to cultivate.
41:12
[SPEAKER_00]: because I grew up and we all played basketball, we all were in the church, you know, we all were calling a quote like, the good black kids, right?
41:25
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't try to put that pressure on my kids.
41:29
[SPEAKER_00]: but they're exceptional.
41:30
[SPEAKER_00]: So they are straight-a students.
41:34
[SPEAKER_00]: They are good at the things that God has gifted them in.
41:38
[SPEAKER_00]: And I just tried to encourage that every single day.
41:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
41:42
[SPEAKER_01]: What are you proud of about you?
41:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Resilience.
41:48
[SPEAKER_00]: I refuse to let things hold me down.
41:58
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a good thing in a bad thing because in the relationship, wise, I'm able to, I'm like Wolverine, you know what I mean?
42:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I can make a mistake and be like, mentally, I'm like, no, I'm not on that no more.
42:10
[SPEAKER_00]: And because I'm disciplined, I can make that transition quick, right?
42:17
[SPEAKER_00]: That's not the same for other people, you know what I'm saying?
42:21
[SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, I refuse to film, man.
42:26
[SPEAKER_00]: I refuse to film.
42:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Guys are gonna work it out no matter what.
42:30
[SPEAKER_00]: And so yeah, that's one thing that I can say that I'm not gonna stay down forever.
42:35
[SPEAKER_00]: That's for sure.
42:37
[SPEAKER_00]: What is keeping you or attract these days?
42:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Community.
42:47
[SPEAKER_00]: My family, my kids, and I'll see the word.
42:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
42:54
[SPEAKER_00]: My dad tells me, he told all of us this at a very, very early age.
43:00
[SPEAKER_00]: When you are vertically aligned, things horizontally meaning what happens here on this earth, they'll work out.
43:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
43:10
[SPEAKER_00]: When you're not vertically aligned and you're really only focused on your persona,
43:17
[SPEAKER_00]: who likes you, you're the man.
43:20
[SPEAKER_00]: That's typically where my fall has always been the hardest.
43:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
43:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, man.
43:27
[SPEAKER_01]: What do you, what do you think you deserve in life?
43:29
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't feel like I deserve anything.
43:33
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm, I'm actually grateful for where I'm at right now.
43:38
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think,
43:41
[SPEAKER_00]: That's kind of what has changed because for me earlier, it was like, I want this big house.
43:47
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to be a beautiful wife.
43:49
[SPEAKER_00]: I want the big friends.
43:50
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to be my own boss.
43:53
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to inspire and I feel like now it's like, and I have a house.
44:02
[SPEAKER_00]: I have the ability to be able the basics seem more to me than
44:10
[SPEAKER_00]: what the Jones is, are doing.
44:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
44:15
[SPEAKER_01]: How do you relationships these days, like in terms of, do you actually open to the opportunity of love and marriage again?
44:31
[SPEAKER_00]: That is a desire of mine.
44:34
[SPEAKER_00]: Isn't on my focus right now, okay?
44:41
[SPEAKER_00]: of me hopping in relationship to relationship.
44:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, we're on the break.
44:46
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm out, you know what I'm saying?
44:51
[SPEAKER_00]: That didn't, that only led to hurting more people.
44:54
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
44:55
[SPEAKER_00]: And so right now, my whole focus is just like, let me become the version of me that I'm supposed to be.
45:06
[SPEAKER_01]: What do you think that looks like?
45:09
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that looks like actually for giving myself for like fully, right?
45:16
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that also just requires time because I'm an extremist, right?
45:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Either all about it, or I'm like forget it, right?
45:30
[SPEAKER_00]: I have this thing in myself where I rush things.
45:35
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think the biggest lesson
45:38
[SPEAKER_00]: through multiple things, whether it's injury or being locked up or anything like that, got to set me down several times in my life where he's inside now, you just need to chill.
45:49
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's what he's telling me to do right now, which is like, be still but be active.
45:54
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I get that.
45:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
45:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
45:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Be still but be active.
45:58
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
45:59
[SPEAKER_00]: I see it as waiting well.
46:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
46:02
[SPEAKER_01]: Waiting well doesn't mean doing nothing.
46:05
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
46:06
[SPEAKER_01]: He's constantly being aware of his guidance.
46:10
[SPEAKER_01]: Correct.
46:10
[SPEAKER_01]: In his go go go.
46:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
46:13
[SPEAKER_01]: You go one too.
46:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
46:15
[SPEAKER_00]: You're going to.
46:16
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to burn out.
46:18
[SPEAKER_00]: I think I want my desire right now is just to keep adding the log into the fire, which keeps things going and so I feel like a relationship right now or anything like that, that's not something that is going to be beneficial for me, for my kids or for whoever else, right?
46:41
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like every time you look at these,
46:47
[SPEAKER_00]: monsters in the Bible, right?
46:48
[SPEAKER_00]: You see how there's a wilderness season, right before the elevation.
46:57
[SPEAKER_00]: And you got to go through it.
47:00
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not going to be comfortable.
47:02
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not going to be ideal.
47:05
[SPEAKER_00]: You're going to discover things about yourself that can only happen during those times.
47:14
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, right now, I'm embracing what he has for me, whether it's opportunity or coming out of a failure, I'm embracing it and just trying to be still, but also be active.
47:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Was been the toughest thing for you to grow through as you go and through it.
47:36
[SPEAKER_01]: being patient.
47:38
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
47:39
[SPEAKER_01]: We got 23 and me or whatever.
47:41
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, man.
47:43
[SPEAKER_01]: We got so many parallels.
47:45
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's the whole purpose of the platform is as J Black.
47:50
[SPEAKER_01]: Our dance, making our dance, your nails.
47:55
[SPEAKER_01]: You know what I'm saying?
47:56
[SPEAKER_01]: What was we knew then?
47:59
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not about having things figured out, and this season has been particularly challenging for me because I thrive in A plus B, we'll see.
48:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
48:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Logic tool for.
48:16
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh man, and so much of even just entrepreneurship, not even thinking about the spiritual connection of life.
48:25
[SPEAKER_01]: Entrepreneurship don't work like that.
48:28
[SPEAKER_01]: and to go from having a thing figured out, or at least in my mind, figured out to waiting in the ocean.
48:39
[SPEAKER_00]: That's been a challenge.
48:42
[SPEAKER_00]: But I mean, yeah, that's a dream.
48:47
[SPEAKER_00]: You keep tonight, I talked about this earlier today.
48:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Entrepreneurship is not for the week, right?
48:53
[SPEAKER_00]: And I saw something earlier before we actually got here
48:59
[SPEAKER_00]: The first year of entrepreneur, I mean, being an entrepreneur is going to break you before it builds you.
49:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
49:06
[SPEAKER_00]: And boy, I'm telling you, I'm going, God, strong as a lot.
49:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Soldierless man.
49:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Take me off, Lord.
49:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
49:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Please take me off.
49:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Take me off.
49:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Can I get a breather, please?
49:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me get a breather.
49:17
[SPEAKER_00]: No dress.
49:18
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm saying that tongue and seat because he, I mean,
49:22
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the worst in this.
49:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, yes.
49:25
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm cool.
49:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Cool.
49:27
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's the difference though, because like, going from making a certain amount.
49:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, low it.
49:33
[SPEAKER_00]: And now, just trying to like every two weeks and health care.
49:40
[SPEAKER_01]: For the entire family, for the entire family.
49:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, yeah.
49:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
49:44
[SPEAKER_00]: And so that right there has been, honestly, the biggest struggle.
49:49
[SPEAKER_00]: And, uh,
49:51
[SPEAKER_00]: It's something that I'm still working on, you know what I mean?
49:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Got it.
49:56
[SPEAKER_00]: The reason why I say now is because there's opportunities, business opportunities that have been presented itself, which I'm proud of and I'm excited.
50:04
[SPEAKER_00]: And so it's kind of like, that storm is over here and I can see, I can see a light.
50:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
50:13
[SPEAKER_00]: And so it's one of those things where it's just like, all right, cool.
50:18
[SPEAKER_00]: There was a reason why I had to go through that.
50:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, but it's still difficult, bro.
50:23
[SPEAKER_00]: It's still difficult for sure.
50:26
[SPEAKER_01]: It's still we rise man.
50:28
[SPEAKER_01]: And still we rise.
50:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Question that I ask everybody about my ask you because it's the first time.
50:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, full title that I showed this time when I wish my father told me.
50:40
[SPEAKER_01]: I'd rather curious about your answer given how you've placed your father in your life through this story.
50:47
[SPEAKER_01]: What's on you wish your father told you?
50:52
[SPEAKER_00]: I've heard you ask this question to other people before, and I was trying to figure out what I was going to say.
51:01
[SPEAKER_00]: And to be honest, I don't think that there's anything that I wish you would have told me.
51:07
[SPEAKER_00]: I just wish I would have took heat to what he would have told me earlier.
51:11
[SPEAKER_01]: Ding, ding, ding, ding.
51:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
51:14
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, again, self-inflicted, right?
51:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Many people, you know, we got guys in that group that didn't grow up with a father.
51:27
[SPEAKER_00]: And as I've gotten older, I've realized how much of a blessing that my family is and how we support each other.
51:36
[SPEAKER_00]: We really, we really come together like for real for real.
51:40
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm not just saying that.
51:42
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I know a lot of people don't have that luxury.
51:47
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's not a bad thing when you do have it.
51:51
[SPEAKER_00]: And I feel like I was ashamed at first that I did have it.
51:55
[SPEAKER_00]: So I surrounded myself a lot with other people that didn't have it.
52:00
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I was just like, oh, now I want to be hard.
52:04
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, now I want to do these things.
52:05
[SPEAKER_00]: But looking back at it now, I just wish I would have just took heed to the foundation that my parents said for me, from John.
52:14
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, yeah.
52:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Steve Anderson, ladies and gentlemen.
52:22
[SPEAKER_01]: Appreciate you, bro.
52:23
[SPEAKER_01]: We're going to be people fired if you want to be fired.
52:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so they can find me, Steve Anderson, 05, oh, my IG.
52:32
[SPEAKER_00]: You can also find me on the good debt tribe as well as on the CEO of the good debt tribe.
52:39
[SPEAKER_00]: And my business line light branding, um, yeah, man, two promotional marketing, help big brands, turn their idea into an actual physical product.
52:53
[SPEAKER_00]: So, yeah.
52:54
[SPEAKER_01]: Appreciate it, man.
52:55
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm proud of you, bro.
52:56
[SPEAKER_01]: I never know.
53:00
[SPEAKER_01]: what I'm going to get from a person when they sit down across from me, but I know I'm curious about that person.
53:05
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
53:06
[SPEAKER_00]: And this did not disappoint.
53:08
[SPEAKER_01]: I had no idea judging you from what I saw on line and when I met you, that this was your story.
53:16
[SPEAKER_01]: But I know that the story is going to resonate with others.
53:19
[SPEAKER_01]: If you wanted those people that distorted resonated with, let us know the comments.
53:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
53:23
[SPEAKER_01]: Give us the feedback.
53:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Make sure you follow a Steve.
53:25
[SPEAKER_01]: Make sure you follow
53:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Some of them saying, oh, it was since December of last year, better together, I really mean it.
53:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
53:37
[SPEAKER_01]: I think there's space enough for everybody and some homes.
53:42
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't prefer to uplift the collaboration as key.
53:49
[SPEAKER_01]: I love what the tribe is doing, what it stands for.
53:53
[SPEAKER_00]: and it's it's it's cool to to watch a rocket man I appreciate that changing the narrative bro you know seeing your platform seeing what we're doing that's all we want to do is just change the narrative and really create a safe space for men to understand that it's okay to be real yeah to be human
54:14
[SPEAKER_00]: but also don't go through it alone, having a community, so key, having accountability, so key, and when we come together and do collaborations or whatever the case may be.
54:26
[SPEAKER_00]: more people benefit from it other than saying oh no this is my so I appreciate you man I appreciate you jay black on what y'all doing you have no idea it doesn't go on notice your impact so I just wanted to encourage you and let you know hey appreciate during those days where it may be hard
54:48
[SPEAKER_00]: You're a Roman bro, and you are inspiring people to have a conversation, and that's what it starts with.
54:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, who's why I get uncomfortable?
54:58
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, guys.
54:59
[SPEAKER_01]: Appreciate you, man.
55:01
[SPEAKER_01]: That's going to do it for this episode.
55:02
[SPEAKER_01]: We appreciate you guys.
55:03
[SPEAKER_01]: God bless you, peace.