Latest / What's Your (Least) Favorite Scary Movie? / #277: Crabs! (2021) - Tubi or Not to Be

Transcript

#277: Crabs! (2021) - Tubi or Not to Be · What's Your (Least) Favorite Scary Movie?

0:06
Hello, what's your least favorite scary movie?
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You are Poseidon's mistake. We're going to watch Your Least
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Favorite Scary Movie, The podcast where we talk about the
0:16
good, the bad, the ugly and the absurd, and all of our favorite.
0:19
And the least favorite? Scary movies.
0:21
Because we believe every horror movie rightfully has its fan
0:23
base. Even if we don't always get it.
0:25
My name is Travis. My name is Jesse and welcome
0:27
back to To Be or Not to Be. That is our monthly bonus series
0:32
where we come to you live uncut and mostly undrawn from the free
0:36
streaming services to check out movies we may not have otherwise
0:39
heard about. Because this is a bonus episode,
0:44
we're just going to jump right into stuff.
0:46
So that's what we're going to do this week.
0:48
This month, yes, month, also week.
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Both day day. Hour, minute, second.
0:56
We are discussing crabs. Man.
0:59
Crabs with an exclamation point and just me being overly
1:02
enthusiastic. If you're wondering, does this
1:04
play into prom month? Yes.
1:06
In fact, it does. Yeah, it does somehow.
1:08
So don't worry, that is coming. Actually, more so than most
1:11
movies that we have talked about this month.
1:14
More than Night of the Creeps. Yeah, and.
1:16
More than what we're going to be talking about this upcoming.
1:18
Week. Yep.
1:19
Yep. Buddy.
1:20
Mary. Yeah.
1:21
So you know it's fine, all right?
1:24
Are we ready to talk craps? Yeah, we are craps.
1:26
Yeah, yeah. Let's do this.
1:28
Released August 26, 2021 at Frightfest.
1:32
It had AUS Internet based release on November 15th, 2022.
1:37
We watched it on Tubi because this is our Tubi or Not to Be
1:39
series. You can rent it all of the usual
1:41
places as well though. Written and directed by Pierce,
1:45
Beryl Tseimer Music by Mike Treblecock Oh my God, Oh my God.
1:52
Either he was destined to become a musician, or he chose the
1:56
world's best stage name. Trouble Cock is a terrible ass.
2:01
Name who? Treble clock.
2:03
Treble. Treble cock.
2:06
He's a trouble cock, that cock. That would be a problem, yeah.
2:10
Yeah, OK, trouble cock. That just sounds like an insult
2:13
that you hurl at somebody that sings.
2:15
Get the fuck out of here, trouble cock.
2:18
I mean maybe he did get in like teased and called trouble
2:21
'cause. He had to be.
2:22
There's no way. Yeah, there's.
2:24
That's an easy and misunderstanding.
2:26
It happened my first time hearing.
2:29
OK, special effects makeup. I have our makeup head listed as
2:33
Donala Davey, but I also have a creature design head and that is
2:38
Randall Kaplan. OK, cool.
2:39
Yeah, you got to give props to both teams here.
2:42
Yes, yes, absolutely. Starring Jessica Morris as
2:46
Annalise Menrath, Dylan Riley Snyder as Phillip McAllister,
2:49
Robert Craig had a Sheriff Flanagan, Allie Jennings as
2:52
Maddie Menrath, Bryce Perfi as Hunter McAllister and Chase
2:57
Padgett is Radu. Radu.
3:00
Radu All right, Travis, it's time for our favorite game
3:03
budget or. Buck Ted.
3:06
Well, I would venture to guess this is Bug Ted.
3:10
OK, House rules is that if we are unable to find a budget that
3:15
we declare it bug Ted because usually that means it is well
3:18
under 10 million. Yeah, also, when you watch this
3:21
movie, you can just kind of tell it's bug Ted.
3:23
Yeah, a little bit. Good bug Ted.
3:25
I mean like, it's still pretty impressive for the bug Ted I'm
3:29
imagining that I had. And I tried to check a few
3:31
different sources and couldn't find anything.
3:33
So I don't have a budget. Obviously it never went to
3:36
theaters so we don't have a box office and I don't have a world
3:39
wide growth either so. OK, so no fun.
3:42
I do have an IMDb score. Which is. 4.5 out of 10.
3:46
Wow. OK, OK.
3:49
We'll talk about our thoughts on.
3:50
That in a moment, yeah, OK. I have a theme for 20/21. 2021
3:55
movies released. And that theme is other things
4:00
that ruin prom. OK Oh yeah man, crabs can
4:05
definitely ruin prom. OK, so the first movie is a
4:08
movie called False Positive. Oh, false positive.
4:11
Yeah. So if you had a a positive
4:14
pregnancy test on your prom night, you're probably not going
4:16
to be focusing on the normal prom type things.
4:19
Not the same shenanigans you would be, yeah.
4:21
Yeah, yeah. That released June 25th, 2021.
4:24
I also don't have a budget or gross on it, but it's starring a
4:27
lot of Glazer so. I don't know who that is.
4:29
You do you. You would recognize her if you
4:31
saw her. OK, what would I know her from?
4:34
Let's see if she's in the night before she.
4:38
Is oh, is she the one that's like stole the weed?
4:41
OK, Yep. Yeah, I was going to say that
4:42
you've seen her implants. I know, right?
4:44
But that's where you're immediately gonna pin pointer as
4:46
cuz that was your first exposure tour.
4:48
Yeah. OK.
4:51
Don't have a budget or gross. I already said that, right?
4:53
Yeah. OK.
4:54
IMDb score 4.6 out of 10. Oh, so not good.
4:57
OK. Yeah, second movie I can't
5:00
resist because it does take place immediately after it ends.
5:04
Halloween Kills. I was going to say Halloween
5:06
Kills. Yeah, yeah, that makes sense.
5:08
Michael Myers will fuck up a prom.
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Yeah, I want to. See more of those.
5:11
Man, Oh my God. Prom in October, make it happen.
5:14
That way we can get it. I mean, technically it would be.
5:16
And we're kind of loosey goosey with our prom definition here.
5:19
We do normal, we do homecomings. Yeah, just a dance.
5:22
Yeah, and dress up. Yeah.
5:25
So this is a this released October 15th, 2021 budget of 20
5:30
million, gross of 133 million. I don't want to hurt your
5:34
feelings with this IMDb score. I understand 5.5.
5:38
It's a it's a divisive one. I am on the team of Halloween
5:42
Kills as one of the better sequels.
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OK. And this third, maybe it's
5:48
called the X. OK.
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So I mean if you have drama with your ex, that will ruin the
5:53
dance. That's true.
5:54
That will, yeah. That released March 11th 2021.
6:01
It it's budget was 50 million of whatever the Russian currency
6:06
is. It's a Russian movie.
6:08
It is a Russian movie. What?
6:10
What is it? Rupees.
6:12
No, that's Indian I'm pretty sure.
6:14
Oh, OK. I don't know.
6:15
I don't know the Russian currency either.
6:16
OK, hold on, We're going to do some brief Internet sleeping and
6:19
I'm just going to keep talking since we don't edit these and we
6:22
don't want a big. That's a really easy 'cause.
6:25
That's an easy search dude. Russian currency.
6:28
All you have to do. Well, I just want to confirm in
6:30
fact that a Ruby, yes, that is an Indian denomination and then
6:36
Russian currency ruble. Ruble, I was close.
6:43
The rash is ruble. Yeah, yeah.
6:44
OK. I.
6:45
Don't know what that accent was took.
6:46
The P and flipped it upside down made it B.
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And then add an L. Don't worry about that part I.
6:51
Think you do? No, it's OK.
6:52
It's OK. My mom is somewhere screaming at
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me for not knowing that one. It's fine.
6:57
We're not in Russia. It's OK.
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So believe it or not, I have the worldwide gross in American
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dollars. OK, it's 344,000.
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So I guess that's how much it made here maybe?
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I I don't know. OK, well, at least it made
7:12
money. Yeah, it made money some.
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So and then it has a 4.3 out of 10 on IMDb.
7:19
Wow, so all of these are in the fours except for Halloween.
7:21
Halloween's the winter, yeah? All right, Halloween Kills
7:24
sometimes is somehow is at the top of this list.
7:27
Rightfully so. And I had thought we weren't
7:31
going to have any tag lines because there were none listed
7:33
on IMDb. There wasn't any on the poster
7:35
on IMDb. But I did find a poster online.
7:37
OK, the tag line. Yeah.
7:39
Killer crustaceans. Killer crustaceans.
7:42
Yeah, You know, I mean, you could definitely get a little
7:44
bit more silly with the tag lines on this year, but.
7:46
That's I was expecting some good work from them for it.
7:49
Well the title is just crabs, so they're not really working too
7:53
hard on. The stuff.
7:55
The title is crabs. Yeah, OK then.
7:57
Well, that's where the flare goes.
7:58
It's just in like how you save it.
8:00
Maybe you're supposed to save that tagline in a funny way too.
8:05
Crustaceans. Killer crustaceans, Are they
8:08
friendly? No, no, yeah, I forgot about it.
8:12
Radu having this little singing session at the end.
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OK, OK. And that's how I've gone up
8:18
because on our bonus episodes we don't do.
8:21
Fun facts. Fun facts.
8:22
Thank you. No deep.
8:23
Dives, we just do the bare minimum of information because
8:25
we're just doing this shit on the fly.
8:27
Yeah, we're doing it on the fly. We're having fun and.
8:29
It's a bonus episode. Yeah, it's a bonus episode.
8:31
OK, We don't have to be doing this, y'all.
8:33
That's right, yeah. OK, so before we get on to our
8:37
good, bad, ugly and absurd, I'm going to go into why I picked
8:39
this. OK I googled teen movies with
8:45
prom OK and I got a list from IMDb and IMDb also helpfully
8:51
tells you if it's like where it's streaming at currently.
8:54
Yeah, it's pretty cool about that, yeah.
8:56
So I found a couple that sounded interesting.
8:58
The other option was Dance of Death.
9:02
Dance of the Dead. Dance of the Dead, which is a
9:04
zombie movie and it's directed by Greg.
9:08
I don't remember if Greg is his first name or his last name, but
9:11
he did a segment in VHS Viral, Which whenever we get to the VHS
9:14
movies, I'm going to have some really hot fucking takes, and
9:17
the first one is that VHS Viral is one of my favorites.
9:20
Wow, OK. OK, we'll just hold off on that.
9:23
That's a whole other piece. But he directed this short Dante
9:27
the Great, which is the with the magician who has Harry Houdini's
9:30
Cape and he has to give human sacrifices.
9:32
That one's a fun one. I like that.
9:33
One, yeah. And then the trailer honestly
9:35
looked really promising. But then when I watched the
9:37
trailer for crabs and we were promised like kaijus and puppets
9:43
and I just. I don't know.
9:45
That's what my heart said was the right movie for us this
9:48
month. I think you made the right call.
9:50
Yeah, I I feel I am very happy to have watched this and
9:54
obviously we'll do our two beer not to be at the very end, but
9:59
as we go into our good, bad, ugly and absurd, I'm just going
10:02
to throw it out there from the jump that I enjoyed those.
10:04
Yeah, I think you're going to get the picture pretty easily.
10:06
Yeah. Yeah.
10:07
OK. So I guess it's a good, bad,
10:08
ugly and absurd. Yes.
10:10
All right. I think I kind of love this
10:12
movie. This movie was it's one that
10:16
like I don't I didn't expect myself to really be super into,
10:19
but like right from the get go, this movie impressed me.
10:24
I think it's like it does a really good blend of horror and
10:27
comedy. It's got really fun characters.
10:31
Everybody feels different. Everybody serves their own
10:33
purpose. I like the chemistry that a lot
10:36
of the casts have. I like the two kids, and I also
10:38
like the two adults that get together too.
10:40
Yeah, they're both really cool. The crabs, not bad.
10:44
I like the transformation. And then when you actually see
10:47
them, it's practical and it looks good.
10:49
When they like grow, they actually like the creature
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design guy did a great job. Yes.
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And then another thing that's like one of my favorite parts is
10:56
when we do get like this movie, like goes from big to giant, and
11:02
then we do go to like Kaiju levels here.
11:05
And the way that they film that stuff reminded me of the old
11:08
Godzilla movies and the Power Rangers.
11:11
I wrote Megazord in my notes. Because they do the thing where
11:14
they have people in the costumes, they make little tiny
11:18
sets. So they're like standing next to
11:20
little mountains and buildings and it looks amazing.
11:23
It's it's classic. They did a like a fantastic job
11:26
with this movie. I had a great time.
11:28
Yes, I agree. I think that this movie is
11:31
really well done it it does what it is supposed to do exactly
11:35
correctly and it doesn't ever feel like it's trying too hard.
11:38
No, it doesn't. Yeah, like it.
11:40
It actually felt natural, which this is a movie that could so
11:43
easily be trying too hard. Yes, with any of the directions,
11:47
with the monster, with the comedy, with all that stuff.
11:49
But they balanced it all perfectly.
11:51
It was well, well done. Yeah, there are so many moments
11:54
where it could have been, like, so cringey, like, you know,
11:58
right off the bat it endeared me because the crab attacks the
12:01
dude instead of the girl. Yeah.
12:03
And then and then then she goes to try and hit it.
12:05
The crab jumps out and she hits the face and she goes, are you
12:08
OK? Yeah.
12:09
It was all just so perfectly done.
12:11
And then we've got moments like with Annalise and Hunter.
12:15
It could be icky, but they're both very much adults.
12:17
It doesn't seem like anything ever happened beyond him having
12:19
a little crush on her in high school.
12:21
It's still pushing. It it pushes.
12:23
It I don't know how I feel about a teacher dating one of her
12:26
students. No.
12:27
And here's The thing is, there are several things that like are
12:30
borderline, but they just edge on the side of like, you know
12:36
what I mean? If people are kicked out by
12:37
Leonardo Dicaprio's whole situation, I feel like we should
12:41
be weirded out about this situation.
12:43
I'm just saying it doesn't come across as a good grooming
12:45
situation, OK is what I mean. Like we can talk about the
12:51
implications for the family dynamics between them.
12:54
We can talk about the fact that there are plenty of things that
12:59
we can discuss that have an ick factor to him.
13:01
I'm just saying it's not like a teacher dating a student.
13:04
He's very clearly beyond the former student, you know what I
13:08
mean? Yeah, we don't.
13:10
He's not 18. No, he's not 18.
13:13
He's an adult. Yeah.
13:14
And then same with Radu. It could very easily become.
13:18
Radu, they skirted it just perfectly.
13:20
It could. It was like on the verge of
13:22
becoming offensive, but then at the same time like it wasn't.
13:25
They never like give a specific like he's very.
13:29
He's a foreign exchange student, I think.
13:31
We don't know where he's from. Like they don't name a specific
13:33
country, so it doesn't feel like they're targeting anything.
13:37
And he ends up not being the hero of the story for the most
13:40
part. Like, he can fight all that.
13:41
He's correct. You know, he's the one that's
13:44
warning everybody and he ends up fighting the crabs and he kicks
13:48
their asses. And he's also just got a sword.
13:50
Radu kind of like Radu fucks. He's the he's the funniest
13:53
character for the whole thing. I love like the running thing,
13:56
like especially at the beginning when he's like smoking with the
13:58
two dudes. Like what the fuck?
14:00
I don't understand this guy. Why do we invite him here?
14:03
They're like, because he's funny.
14:04
Yeah, and then they like hand him mushrooms and then, you
14:07
know, he's tripping and he's like a samurai and he makes
14:10
armor out of the crabs. It's just fucking awesome.
14:12
I love that character. He was great.
14:14
And then he has his music at the end.
14:15
Yes. And like I said, all of these,
14:17
like, skirt the boundaries of tastefulness, but they stay just
14:22
on the right edge of it, like so.
14:25
And I'm going to be honest, that's how you do edgy humor
14:27
people like. Yeah.
14:28
Yeah, it wasn't. It wasn't offensive.
14:30
Yeah, I mean, I don't think it was.
14:32
It gets close to it. At the beginning with Radu, I
14:36
was very nervous that he was just going to be a throwaway
14:37
character character, and his whole shtick was like, I'm
14:39
foreign and things I say don't make sense to people.
14:42
But it turns out like he's right about the crabs, and he becomes
14:45
part of like our main cast of crab fighters.
14:48
For anybody that wants an idea of what this guy is, Jesse made
14:51
a perfect comparison. She described him as Rolf from
14:54
Edda and Eddie, and it is exactly like that because he
14:58
also speaks in the third person. And yeah, he's gives like Rolf
15:02
in energy. Yeah, big time.
15:05
Yeah, he's not a person of color though.
15:07
No, Which I feel like Rolf is always implied to be.
15:09
Same with like Fez on That 70s Show.
15:11
Yeah, he's, he kind of looks like Fry if you think of he's
15:16
got like the Fry hairdo and he's just like a chubbier Fry.
15:20
He looks way older than the rest of the students, though.
15:23
Yeah, he probably is. And I think that's because they
15:24
wanted Chase Padgett there. Yeah.
15:27
Chase Padgett. That's the actor he's actually
15:29
like, he's a comedian and like an improv.
15:32
Oh, was. He yeah, I could tell because
15:33
I'm. Curious and I looked him up.
15:35
I could tell that he did improv. When he's doing that whole scene
15:37
of like scolding the the dead crab, that's where he's like
15:41
Neptune. Like I fuck up.
15:43
And that, that was another one of my list of goods, was like
15:46
that whole scene where he's just like, roasting the shit out of
15:50
this presumably dead crab. You one thing that Neptune wake
15:55
up and one day look at you and go.
15:56
You know I fuck up. Like, it's yeah.
16:01
So he like, became my favorite character in the movie.
16:04
And not as like somebody to laugh at, but somebody to laugh
16:07
with. Yeah.
16:08
So yeah, so I just, I think the movie is generally really well
16:12
done. And like you said, the puppets
16:14
are really good and the the creature design, like the armor
16:17
that they put on what are clearly human actors underneath.
16:20
Like it doesn't look like, oh, there's humans under there.
16:23
Like when you're looking at it, you're like, oh, I assume that's
16:25
how this works. But they still look like a
16:27
Pokémon evolution of a horseshoe crab.
16:29
Yeah, it looks really good. I'm impressed with the OK bad.
16:33
Yeah. Well, they do a good job of
16:36
blending like CG and like visual effects every now and then, like
16:42
practical, but every now and then we get a little bit too
16:46
much of the bad CG and like the fake blood can be really bad
16:51
sometimes. I don't know, here there, you
16:54
know, fake blood is like a thing that is pretty basic for special
16:58
effects people, I would imagine. Like if you're in that industry,
17:00
I think fake blood is one of the first things you'd learn.
17:03
OK, but we've been through this so many times in various movies,
17:06
it's pretty easy to fuck up fake blood.
17:08
Yeah, but I think even with this movie, because we're all going
17:11
in knowing what to expect, even bad practical fake blood is
17:14
better than bad CG fake blood. It just works better all the
17:18
time. I think some of the kills, they
17:22
are shot off screen or hidden, and I'm not a big fan of that.
17:27
Some of it, it just doesn't play out as well as I would hope.
17:31
And I mean, that's really mostly the bad stuff that I had with
17:35
this movie just So I guess like how they handled some of the
17:37
kills and how they handled some of like the effects, OK.
17:41
Like, and this movie like, yeah, the cheesiness I'm good with.
17:44
But I, I don't know, like you're already showing me you can do
17:47
some good practical stuff with these puppets and with these
17:50
like live action crab monster people.
17:54
And then you give me some bad CG stuff thrown on top of there.
17:57
And it just kind of makes me wish that you went all in on the
17:59
practical. Yeah, I guess the bad is, I
18:07
don't know, either give us a full explanation or none at all.
18:10
Like, we have this animation at the beginning of a nuclear power
18:13
plant kind of exploding, and then we forget about it mostly.
18:17
And then it's like, oh, OK, here's like a bunch of giant
18:19
crabs terrorizing the town. Yeah, it was like the bears of
18:23
bear like plot points to try and just get the whole thing
18:26
rolling. Yeah, and like, I don't need a
18:28
ton. Like I'm fine that we didn't
18:29
have the full explanation of what Hunter and Phil's dad, like
18:37
what he did or how he died. Like we don't have a flow
18:42
explanation. We just know like things are
18:43
complicated with Hunter and Phil.
18:46
Like Hunter has to take care of Phil right now.
18:48
And that's enough for me, you know?
18:50
So it's just kind of a bummer to like, OK, well we figured that
18:54
out. But then like, we have like 1/2
18:56
hearted attempt at explaining where the giant crabs are coming
18:59
from. I'd be just as fine as like, all
19:02
right, well, don't really know where these crabs came from.
19:04
Like, you know, live in the same world as where the characters
19:07
are in. Like, we don't know why they're
19:08
giant. We should know that we're
19:09
dealing with it. Yeah, yeah, that's not a bad way
19:11
to take that. Yeah.
19:13
OK, I can deal with that. All right.
19:16
Ugly stuff. I hated that they started it off
19:19
with dissecting dead cats. Dude, that's not even a fucking
19:23
thing. No, it's not.
19:24
I think that was also supposed to be like a humorous moment.
19:27
Like the most that we did in school was frogs, I think.
19:31
We did. We did.
19:34
Baby pigs. OK, that's pretty fucking.
19:36
Bad. I will never forget the smell as
19:38
long as I live. Yeah, that's not cool.
19:40
That's not cool. Frogs.
19:41
I didn't even enjoy doing frogs. Honestly.
19:43
It's kind of fucked up to make children cut open animals.
19:46
You know, when you really think about it, I think that's like a
19:49
thing that when you get older, I want to go on that career path,
19:52
and that's when you Start learning how to cut shit open.
19:54
Yeah, it's just not exact. It's kind of traumatizing to do
19:58
that to children. Cuz mine was in AP bio so I
20:02
understand that. Yeah I was in elementary school.
20:05
What the fuck? Yeah, I was dissecting frogs in
20:08
elementary school. Well, even in my AP bio, like
20:11
the whole point was you're supposed to learn like how the
20:14
anatomy and everything like works together.
20:16
But I feel like we could have done that without having to do a
20:18
dissection. Like we can do pictures and
20:21
simulations and. Videos.
20:23
Yeah, it's like, have a video, man, that's all you need.
20:25
Like, let a professional do and we'll watch.
20:27
Yeah, like you said, if I like, and at that time I was toying
20:30
with the idea of being pre Med, but I hadn't gotten to that
20:33
point and clearly I never made it to that point.
20:35
So why am I like fucking around inside of a baby pig?
20:38
Yeah, OK. My ugly.
20:41
I guess it's kind of like the other edge of that coin is that
20:45
like those couple of things that are like riding the boundaries.
20:48
There are a couple of times where it's uncomfortable, you
20:51
know, like with Radu, like he's there with the.
20:53
I wish they hadn't made a joke of like, why do we invite this
20:55
guy? Like, I wish it had just been
20:57
that. Like, he's got friends, you know
20:59
what I mean? I think it was funny.
21:01
I thought it was really, that was a funny moment for me
21:03
because like it's just the guy is so he's so weird.
21:07
He's so he's a weird like he's, he doesn't fit in.
21:11
The most gentle punch up that I would say instead of saying why
21:14
do we invite this guy? Be like why are we friends with
21:16
this guy you know what I mean Just like a slight punch UPS
21:19
that way it like. I just, I like the idea better
21:21
that he just kind of like shows up in groups uninvited.
21:24
That's how it starts. He's going around asking people
21:26
like, to hang out or go to prom with them and nobody wants
21:29
anything to do with them. But he still always finds
21:31
himself in a group and people like, how is he here?
21:34
Why? Why is he here right now?
21:37
It's mean. It's mean, but it's it's funny.
21:39
It's funny in the context of the movie because Radu is like
21:42
oblivious to the whole thing. That is true.
21:44
And he does have some very, like, upsetting things that he
21:46
says on his own, too, where he calls Phil, I think at one
21:49
point, chair face. Yeah, yeah, he says something
21:52
like. That like.
21:53
You shut your chair face up. Yeah, like, so he's not like a
21:56
perfect little innocent Angel. Either No.
21:58
I mean he can talk shit he like let it unload on a crap.
22:03
He can do that to anybody. Yeah, so I I just say that those
22:08
are mostly my my ugliest, you know, it's that double edged
22:12
sort of like humor like that can kind of push some boundaries and
22:17
sometimes it is going to like hit an uncomfortable.
22:19
Like I said, I think this handled it better than a lot of
22:21
things would. Yeah, for sure.
22:23
I don't think it's like, I don't even think it's like necessarily
22:26
making fun of the fact that it's like somebody that's foreign.
22:29
I don't. I just think it's like, this is
22:31
a weird guy. It could be from anywhere, but
22:34
the fact is he's just strange. That's The funny thing.
22:37
But then it becomes like, is he strange because he's strange, or
22:40
is he strange because he's foreign?
22:41
That's like a tightrope that you're kind of walking with that
22:43
type of character. I think if they really like
22:45
honed in on like the foreign parts of him, that would be a
22:48
part of it. But really, they just kind of
22:50
made him like a funny character. Yeah, it's the things he's
22:52
talking about and his lack of social awareness.
22:58
Yeah, I. Guess really That's yeah, it's
23:00
his personality. I don't know, like like I said,
23:03
it's, I go back and forth on it mostly.
23:05
I think it was well done, but you know.
23:07
I think it helps that they make him like a good character at the
23:10
end. Yeah, he.
23:11
Does come in and save the day a lot and then he raps at the end
23:14
credits like he becomes a hero. Yeah, that's why I said, like, I
23:17
think it generally it falls more on the side of like, we're
23:21
laughing with him, not at him. But there are a couple of times
23:24
when I'm like, I don't know if I feel good about this, you know,
23:27
I got you. And it's the same with like
23:29
Annalise and Hunter, like, because I do think that, like,
23:33
we take away that icky element of like, grooming and rape and
23:37
whatnot. But it is still very complicated
23:40
because of their past relationship.
23:42
And it's not super well defined how far from that they are, but
23:46
it seems far enough. It's weird, but it's like.
23:48
More weird for me the fact that Maddie and Phil clearly have a
23:52
thing going on. Yeah, well, I, I grew up
23:55
somebody with a situation like this, actually.
23:59
And yeah, it was. It was kind of strange.
24:02
Yeah, it's, it's very ill defined and I'm kind of choosing
24:06
to have like optimism that he's not like 20 or something, you
24:11
know what I mean? I'm trying.
24:13
I'm, I, I'm kind of thinking because we've been going to bed
24:16
with friends on here lately, Monica and Richard.
24:19
Yeah. That was her doctor, her and her
24:22
like, parents, family friend, and then they start dating when
24:27
she's an adult. Yeah, same type of thing,
24:29
basically. I still think that that
24:31
situation's kind of strange. It is kind of strange, but it's
24:34
the same situation where it's like there was never any
24:37
grooming. They met up again as like full
24:39
adults. She went into that situation
24:42
consensually and it is still kinda, it's still very much an
24:46
uncomfortable age gap. Yeah, 18.
24:48
But it's like the farther you get 18 years, but it's the
24:51
farther that you get from being 18 years old is, the less
24:53
uncomfortable it gets as you go. It's not the age that gets me,
24:56
it's the prior connection that always gets me with these
25:00
things. Yeah, whatever.
25:02
We and that makes sense and it's that's why like there's this
25:04
whole host of context that you need to see and understand that
25:07
can like makes such a big difference with it.
25:12
OK, Yeah. And, like, the fact that he
25:15
seems so uncomfortable when she's there in his house, like,
25:18
makes me think that there was never anything beyond the
25:20
classroom uncomfortable between them.
25:23
Yeah. He seemed pretty comfortable.
25:24
No, when she first comes in, he's like, real uncomfortable
25:26
and nervous. He's like, it's really weird
25:28
having like, my former teacher here in my house.
25:30
Yeah, it's kind of weird. Yeah.
25:31
So, yeah, OK. All right, let's move on.
25:35
We've talked about that point. All right, let's do absurds.
25:39
I really just wrote Ratu, OK? I mean, we've already talked
25:43
about it. There's a lot in this movie that
25:44
you can go on. I love the fact that they turn
25:48
his little project that just started off as him having like
25:52
functioning legs into like like a fucking Mecca within the span
25:57
of like 30 minutes I think. Like he's out there battling a
26:00
giant crab and they just assembled a fucking Mecca like a
26:03
fucking Gundam people. He's out there.
26:05
He's probably going to blast off in the space after this.
26:07
In what I called a Nickelodeon montage because it felt very
26:12
like Nickelodeon, as like pirate ship wrench.
26:17
Like, yeah, yeah, it's kind of like live action Nickelodeon.
26:20
Stuff. My absurd is at the dance when
26:24
the crab walks in and he goes up to the DJ booth and the DJ at
26:27
first is like a little bit unsure.
26:30
And then the crab, like, sticks out its little claws and it goes
26:32
like that. Yeah.
26:35
And then the DJs like, all right.
26:37
And he took it as like a request and played some Electro for it.
26:42
And then the crab obviously, like, it signals to his brother
26:46
and come in and attack whatever. And then that same crab like as
26:49
the fight's happening, it takes over DJ.
26:52
Yeah, and then they also start dancing, too.
26:54
They control human bodies and start like, boogging a little
26:57
bit. It's fun, yeah.
26:59
I thought that was just, that was real fun for me and real
27:02
absurd. And that was your wedding ring.
27:04
Nope. I don't know what that was.
27:05
My wedding ring's in my finger. Something behind.
27:09
Oh, it's a screw. OK, this chair's gonna fall
27:11
apart. Sometime soon.
27:12
Yay. Let's see if Travis makes it
27:14
through both recordings, because that was too collapsing.
27:16
I could die on this episode, people.
27:18
You're very dramatic. OK, So what are you rating this?
27:23
I think I'm gonna give this an 88.
27:25
Yeah, I like this movie a lot. It was a lot of fun.
27:27
I'm gonna give it a 7 1/2. OK, so we got a 7.75 starting
27:32
average, which I think is very good.
27:35
Yeah, honestly was super shocked at how much I like this.
27:39
OK. You ready?
27:40
Yeah. All right.
27:42
Like I said, it begins off with an animation of a nuclear power
27:44
plant exploding as crab watches. And then we cut 2 sex on the
27:49
beach. Not the drink, but like the
27:52
actual carnal act. Yeah, I've also got cut crab
27:55
because the crab comes over there and starts watching and
27:58
the guy's like, oh, let him watch.
27:59
He gets off on it. Like what the fuck?
28:01
What a weird thing to say. Yeah, like that's not really a
28:04
kinky thing to throw into the love making on the beach there,
28:07
buddy. That's that's not going to get
28:09
her going. Yeah, yeah.
28:11
So basically she's like, no, we're not going to.
28:14
We're not doing this. So she stops.
28:17
He he like. He goes from cock to cock block
28:20
real quick. Yeah, he he goes over to the
28:22
crab and he makes her pick it up.
28:24
He's like, hey, hold this, I want you to hold it so I can
28:27
take a picture of. You and then this thing face
28:29
hugs him. Yeah, it's full on face hugger.
28:32
And she goes to get a rock to try and get it off with the guy
28:35
and it jumps away and she smashes his.
28:38
Face. She's like, Oh my God, are you
28:39
OK? Are you OK?
28:41
He's bludgeoning his face. OK so we cut 2 two kids on a
28:45
sidewalk. 1 is Phil. He is on his chair and Maddie is
28:48
behind him. Like simultaneously pushing but
28:50
also riding. Along, she's doing the classic
28:53
move that you do with a buggy where you scoot it off and then
28:55
you jump on it and you roll with it.
28:57
Yeah, it's fun. And they pass by a priest on
29:00
their way, which this is just like a little throwaway gag but
29:02
I still like to the priest like flipping him off and saying God
29:05
damn kids. He is like a recurring thing.
29:08
He's just an aggressive priest. Pretty much they are in
29:11
Mendocino, California, and I see the deputy.
29:14
This is Hunter, Phil's older brother.
29:16
He's Game Boy. He's got a Game Boy Color.
29:18
Yeah, good for him, man. Yeah, you got one of those too.
29:21
It's got all of like these old games on it.
29:24
Yeah, mine's not really a Game Boy Color.
29:25
That's just like, how the person.
29:28
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's still really fun.
29:31
And I've learned to keep it out of my purse when we're around
29:34
our nieces and nephews because it turns into them fighting each
29:37
other over who gets to play with it.
29:39
Yeah. Wise.
29:39
Yeah. So that that lives in our house.
29:43
He sees a dude running down the street with no pants on so he
29:47
goes chase him. I think that made me sad because
29:49
I think it's because he makes a comment like not this happening
29:53
again. I think it's like an older
29:54
gentleman who maybe has neurocog issues going on.
29:59
Yeah, it could be. Well, we got over to Phil and
30:02
Maddie and they're showing up at Phyllis Place and there's a four
30:06
sell sign out there. So he makes Maddie yank it down.
30:09
For him, Hunter and they go to his shop, which is really a
30:13
barn. He won't go into his dad's shop
30:15
because it's just, it's too much for him right now and he's like,
30:18
it doesn't matter, Hunter is going to sell it anyway.
30:20
He's got his package that you got in the mail order, something
30:23
very cool from the sounds of it. Yeah, so cool that he had to
30:27
have Sheriff Flanagan bribe the customs agent so it could come
30:31
through. Yeah, it it he's got it.
30:35
So it he says it. Wow.
30:37
I'm glad that this is a live and unedited.
30:39
That was. Really, really awesome.
30:42
You like that one kid? Which one kid?
30:44
He's the one who's like, did you ever but like the thing?
30:48
But but like, have you ever thought that that you could do
30:51
anything that you want? You know what I'm talking about?
30:54
It's like a whole video. It's like a the more you know,
30:56
it's like this little kid in this like little thing.
30:59
He can't get his thought out. I've shown you that before.
31:03
Somebody's had to somebody out there.
31:04
You get me? You know what I'm talking about.
31:07
Well this is something that can feel military grade robots and
31:13
the package is mapped to his thumbprint.
31:16
It is the ammonium cluster gram he is going to use it for like
31:21
his leg braces that he's working on.
31:24
Yeah, he's a he's handicapped. He's in a wheelchair.
31:28
And he opens it up and he, like, pushes the thing and it causes
31:32
this giant laser to just shoot out through the garage, nearly
31:36
hitting Flanagan, who is the guy that bribed whoever to get the
31:40
object for him. Yeah he is bringing food to fill
31:44
cuz I guess Hunter was working so.
31:49
So Hunter arrives. I don't know, let's figure it
31:55
out. Oh, Marjorie, she works at the
31:58
Sheriff's Office. Yeah.
31:59
So Hunter arrives like you said, and then Hunter and Flanagan get
32:03
a call from Marjorie using like a code.
32:06
And 19243. Neither of them knows what it
32:08
means. And I'm like, Marjorie, this is
32:10
a private channel, just say what it is.
32:13
We don't need to use the codes. I love it.
32:15
I love these two burnout cops. Dude, they're both like they
32:19
yeah, they both just smoke weed. It's California.
32:21
Whatever, I get it. But it's still yeah, I like.
32:24
Like we don't have the shit memorized.
32:26
I'm pretty sure they are the entire department.
32:28
Yeah. This like feels like a small
32:30
town California type thing. It feels like Marjorie, Marjorie
32:33
is trying to legitimize herself and maybe move to a bigger city
32:36
and be like, work the stations there.
32:41
The codes for a dead well on the beach, so they got to go check
32:44
it out. They get there, they see it on
32:46
the beach, and Hunter goes, I'm gonna poke it with a stick.
32:49
Yeah. That's a scientific examination.
32:52
I saw it in a movie and Flannigan's like don't do that.
32:56
And they see there's like a bite taken out of it.
32:59
So we see Phil and Hunter the next morning.
33:01
They both live in separate RV's on the same property, which I
33:08
guess is a way for them to have privacy.
33:10
Yeah, it works. You know, whatever works for
33:12
you. Hunter tells Phil that he needs
33:14
to fix the hole in the barn door.
33:17
Then we head to school. Maddie's mom is the teacher and
33:19
they're dissecting cans. Yeah, so fucked up man.
33:23
This is the introduction to rad dude because he gets his cat and
33:27
he just like plops it down on the table and then just vomits
33:30
all over. And then Miss Menrath sends him
33:34
out of the classroom to go to the nurse's station, and he's
33:38
got his gloves on and he's got his.
33:40
Scoops. I'm sorry if this is too much
33:43
information for everybody, but this is the same energy Salia
33:47
has and she throws up and she's ashamed and she tries to lick it
33:50
up and we're like, dude, no, just like we will clean it up,
33:53
go outside. My God this is fucking funny.
33:56
That's a great way to introduce her.
33:59
I thought he was just gonna be a one off moment here but holy
34:02
shit. No, there's more to come.
34:05
The mom goes over to talk to Maddie and Phil, who are
34:09
partners on this project, and she's really trying to like lay
34:12
it on for Maddie to make her move on Phil.
34:15
Yeah, kind of embarrassing mom situation, but she speaks to her
34:19
mom like a mom in front of all of the students.
34:22
I feel like there's no place for that in the school.
34:24
I. Love that that's the line you
34:29
draw. I know, yeah, you can make fun
34:33
of Brad do all you want, but talking to your mother that way
34:35
in the class? Disrespect.
34:39
I so I'm just going to throw this out there.
34:42
One of the guys on your baseball team, his dad was the coach,
34:44
right? Yeah.
34:45
So did he not talk to? Actually, two of them, the head
34:49
coach and then the assistant coach was another dude's dad.
34:52
So did they not talk to their dads like dads or?
34:55
You should. You could be asking a better
34:57
question because my mom and dad both coached me in baseball.
35:00
Many like on multiple teams. No.
35:02
You told me that your parents were mean to you when you were
35:04
in baseball. I don't have to ask that
35:07
question. Yeah.
35:08
No, yeah, it was like that, dude.
35:10
No, The other dads, they were way harsher than my parents were
35:15
on me. No, I'm picturing like mean for
35:17
your parents. I'm not picturing mean mean.
35:19
No, no these. Guys were mean.
35:20
Mean. Yeah, they were mean mean.
35:23
It was. It was not fun.
35:24
I felt bad for them. Yeah, that's why that might be
35:28
why I draw that one. It's just been like hard wired
35:31
into me since I was as a fucking baseball kid.
35:34
To me, it just seems like they're in a small enough school
35:36
and it's just generally accepted that Maddie's mom is the science
35:41
teacher and also hot. So yeah, that boundary is not as
35:46
clear for everybody in the class.
35:47
I think they're used to probably.
35:49
I think they're probably used to hearing that interface between
35:53
them. What she had to come and she's
35:54
making them dissect cat she's. Making them dissect cats.
35:56
And she's also trying to be a wingman.
35:58
But I have more of a problem with the way the mom talks to
36:01
her. Yeah, yeah, there's it goes both
36:05
ways. Yeah.
36:05
Yeah. OK so they are in the hallway
36:11
now and he's about to ask Maddie to go to the dance but then Radu
36:16
comes up because he's asking everybody.
36:18
I wrote Radu uses ableism to ask out Maddie fails.
36:23
What was ableism used there? Because he said you cannot go to
36:26
dance with the chair face. Oh, he did say that.
36:29
Yeah, he was like, he cannot dance with you.
36:32
I didn't know this stuff. No.
36:33
Yeah. Well, yeah, she said.
36:35
No, I'm going with them. Still going with Phil so can't
36:37
go with you. Then feels like you are.
36:39
And she's like, yeah. Out.
36:41
Yeah, it's like a already decided thing.
36:42
And she's like, obviously. Duh.
36:45
So Flanagan and Hunter are following a blood trail along
36:47
the beach, and they find the bodies from the beginning.
36:51
Well, they find pieces of the dude's body, and then they find
36:54
a woman standing just by the ocean.
36:56
She's kind of mid size sedaning over there just looking at the
36:59
water going oh damn. But she's also doing a hostel
37:02
because she has her eyeball hanging out of.
37:04
Her face right here. And yeah, it's just not a very
37:07
good situation. She turns around and she reminds
37:10
us what the movie is called. Crabs.
37:14
So now we get cut to Radu. He's with the boys over there,
37:18
they're smoking weed together and they give.
37:20
Him a big baggy full of mushrooms which first of all.
37:23
He's telling a story. He's doing some kind of story
37:26
talking about how he like an experience he had or something I
37:31
I don't understand what he's saying either.
37:33
But then that's when they just look at each other like what the
37:35
fuck is he talking about? Yeah, it yeah and then so they
37:39
give him mushrooms and so this man's about to go through the
37:42
rest of everything we're saying on shrooms and honestly, if we
37:45
got to the end of the movie and discovered that it was just his
37:48
trip in their garage, I. Would believe it, I would too.
37:51
Yeah, he eats a shit ton of shrooms.
37:53
Yeah, so he devours him and then went to.
37:56
Seth Rogen and Neighbors where he's like trying to that's a
37:59
whole bag. Yeah, they're like no, no, no.
38:01
And then she's like yeah, yeah. So OK, he takes all those
38:06
shrooms and then a crab enters and it kills one of the Bros and
38:10
then it gets the other bro and Rad is like, fuck this, I'm
38:13
getting out of here. So he runs out.
38:14
The Indiana Joneses through the garage door.
38:18
Got moves? So Hunter sees Phil working on
38:20
his experiment and he he comes in and he's helping and like we
38:25
kind of, and this is what I'm saying, like we don't get a ton
38:27
of like exposition here, but like they drop in little bits
38:30
and pieces as we go along. And one of the bits and pieces
38:33
here is Hunter asking Phil what he's working on.
38:36
He says same thing as always. So this has clearly been
38:38
something he's been trying to do for a while.
38:40
And they put in the ammonium clustergram into the braces, and
38:46
he's able to take a few steps, but he falls and he is real
38:51
fucking upset. Yeah.
38:53
And so as he's, like, storming out of the barn, Annalise and
38:57
Maddie come by. Maddie follows Phil and Annalise
39:00
and Hunter chat. Yeah, and he invites her inside
39:06
and then they go inside to his trailer.
39:08
She opens up the yearbook, he sparks up a joint, and they just
39:12
start. We'll get through the yearbook.
39:14
He offers her a drink and she goes I'd rather have this
39:16
instead and picks up a joint. Oh, that's true.
39:18
And he was like, this is so weird.
39:21
Yeah, you know, but they they're having a good time there.
39:23
They're going through the yearbook.
39:25
He had like the little picture of her hearted in the yearbook
39:28
there. And he had a provocative picture
39:31
on a desk as a senior photo. And he's like, I had so much
39:34
trouble for this. I feel like most yearbooks have
39:38
like a teacher supervising. They do, yeah.
39:40
There's always somebody in charge.
39:42
It had to get approved. It wasn't like, you know,
39:44
sneaking like a middle finger. Unless you get the person that's
39:49
on the yearbook committee like that's doing the edits and you
39:52
like sneak it to them real quick the day before that goes to
39:55
print. I guess there's that.
39:57
Yeah, some of these people really don't give a shit,
39:59
especially in like small town, whatever this place is.
40:01
I guess that's also fair. OK, so Radu runs through town,
40:07
he runs into a bar, and he's just kind of like rambling at
40:10
all the patrons. And they're like, what the fuck?
40:12
And this I forgot to make a note of when we discussed her
40:15
absurds, but we see some older gentlemen that are clearly like
40:20
coded as bikers or whatever and a lot of them have bandanas, but
40:24
one dude just has like face paint in the strip of a bandana.
40:29
Yeah, on his forehead. Yeah, he had the like fake his.
40:32
I didn't even notice that until you're like, Oh my God, it's
40:35
just painted on. It's.
40:38
I don't I don't understand. It's so fucking funny.
40:42
I love that decision right there.
40:44
Yeah, it's it was a great touch. He ends up running through the
40:47
kitchen and out the back door into an alley where he runs into
40:50
Maddie and Phil and that he's trying to explain what's going
40:54
on to them. But I guess it's known that he
40:55
hangs out with the stoners because they're just like,
40:57
whatever, Radu. Yeah, Phil.
41:00
He's kind of dismissing him. I think Maddie's more willing to
41:02
listen to him, but feels like this is just what Radu does.
41:05
Fuck off, Radu. And then he gets mad at Phil.
41:08
And probably it's also fair for him to be upset after the way
41:11
Radu spoke to him earlier today. Yeah, well, he's about to speak
41:14
to him. Even worse right here.
41:15
He's like, fuck you, chairface, I tried to save you.
41:18
He's just being really, really upset because nobody wants to
41:21
listen to old Radu here. And then one of the crabs crawls
41:24
up and Maddie's like, I think it's hurt.
41:26
And he goes, no, you don't want to, like, deal with that.
41:28
That's what killed my friends. And she's like, no, look, he's
41:31
hurt. And she's, like, trying to reach
41:34
out to it. And then it dies.
41:36
Yeah. And then they, like, they think
41:39
that she has some kind of like killer touch or something, like
41:42
she did something to kill it, but really it just kind of like
41:45
stopped on its own. Yeah.
41:46
So they go and Raj, he'll go. Raj stays behind and he this is
41:51
like like 2 minutes of him improving all kinds of insults
41:55
at the crab. Yeah.
41:57
Meanwhile, Missus Manrith Annalise asks Phil to help
42:01
chaperone the dance tomorrow night.
42:04
And Maddie and Phil get back. Everybody says their goodbyes,
42:09
Phil and Hunter go into their boats, and then Maddie's like,
42:12
mom, I need you to help me with something.
42:14
And they sneak into Phil's lab. Because here's the thing, Phil
42:17
has his laboratory and he is coded as super, super smart.
42:21
But we learned that, and Maddie's actually like the
42:23
genius between the two of them. Yeah, she sinks in there with
42:26
her mom and they just fix up the project for him.
42:29
So Hunter and Phil are getting ready for the dance, and they're
42:31
kind of wearing matching suits, and I think that's cute.
42:33
Oh, also before that, the crab crew.
42:37
Yeah, it molten morphs. Yeah, it broke out of its shell
42:40
and it goes after Ratter and that's all we see.
42:42
We don't see what happens to Ratter here.
42:44
So Hunter tells Phil that a gift was left for him outside of his
42:50
home last night. They get high together and yeah.
42:54
They're rolling into prom smoking the joint with the
42:57
fucking cop. That's how you do it right
42:59
there. But this was really well shot
43:00
and well acted too. Because Phil takes half a hit.
43:04
Cops throws it out and then you see his face when it hits him.
43:10
I'm pretty sure that was his first time getting high.
43:13
I always see him get out of the car and the leg braces are
43:17
working. And I also love this because
43:20
this is a typical prom theme in high school.
43:24
Once Upon a tide. Once Upon a tide.
43:27
Yeah. Yeah, pretty good.
43:29
They entered there and Phil thanks Maddie for the wags.
43:33
And then Maddie is. So excited, like it's so cute
43:36
how excited she is about everything.
43:39
It's really cool to be able to do that.
43:41
And then go out and they dance together.
43:43
Meanwhile, Hunter had seen Annalise like duck out and walk
43:47
in the hall. So he goes to look for her and
43:49
while he's out there he sees a crab and we've got this running
43:53
thing where the crabs are referred to as Badgers.
43:56
Yeah, well, he's following the call of the crab and he thinks
44:04
that it's her the entire time. And then he sees the crab and it
44:08
just like shoots across the hall and he thinks it's a raccoon or
44:11
a badger or whatever. And then Miss, what's her name
44:15
again? Manrath.
44:15
Manrath. Yeah, she comes out and she's
44:17
like, Oh my God, she's follow me to the bathroom.
44:20
And he's like, yes, no. Well, and then they kiss and go
44:23
back to chaperone. Yeah.
44:26
So we get a dancing montage. Yeah, everybody's having a good
44:29
time. Yeah, I like that.
44:30
This is another prompt staple that we get here.
44:32
Yes. Dancing and.
44:35
It's also kind of needed before shit hits the fan to see
44:38
everybody have a good time. So you have the moment of levity
44:41
and also like it's peaks and valleys, right?
44:44
Like these teens are having the time in their life and our
44:46
shit's about to be ruined. Yeah, which happens when the
44:49
crab enters and kills the DJ. Yeah.
44:52
And then 30 foul man. Yeah, it pounces on this man.
44:56
Man Wrath. Is that her name?
44:58
Just call her, just call her Annalise.
45:00
Annalise because I cannot do the rest of those episodes like
45:02
those. Annalise Phil punts 1 and he's
45:06
got his like, you know, new robo legs and it punts it like right
45:09
into the backboard of the three. Point.
45:12
Yeah, legend. Let's see, one starts DJ ING.
45:18
I read about that already and everybody's like fighting the
45:21
crabs and then it looks like they're all dead and everybody's
45:24
like, yeah, we did it. And then one of the quote UN
45:28
quote dead crabs molts. And I was like, Oh no, they all
45:32
go running. Phil's leg braces start to lock
45:35
up and he falls and he's trying to tell Hunter to like just go
45:39
protecting Elise and Maddie, but then who appears with paint on
45:44
his face and shells for armor? Radu and a samurai.
45:48
Sword and a samurai. And they're like, Oh my God, you
45:50
have a samurai sword? He's like, yeah, who doesn't
45:52
have one? Very valid question.
45:55
Yeah, actually a question I'm asking myself after we watched
45:57
the Lexington Lycans last night. True.
45:59
Holy shit. Long swords, katanas, actually
46:03
metal chair. If I've learned anything from
46:05
the Lexington lycans it's that battle axe or Mace is the way to
46:08
go cuz that fucks people up. Honestly, just punch each other
46:13
with armored gloves, punching people with their solitude.
46:16
Those are my favorite parts. Yeah, with the punching.
46:18
I can't wait to go to another one of those.
46:21
All right, so yeah, Radu saves the day with the samurai sword,
46:25
he explains. Or no, no, the teacher, she says
46:33
that the crab is a horseshoe crab, but there's something
46:36
different about it. So they get a Geiger counter to
46:39
just check and see if there's any radiation involved.
46:42
There's a lot, yeah. There's a lot of radiation and
46:46
Phil figures like OK or Hunter figures that there must be an
46:51
even bigger crab than these stage tours, as I was calling
46:55
them, that had to have killed the whale.
46:58
And they figure that because these horseshoe evolutions are
47:02
like hyper evolved to adapt to their environment, they need to
47:05
get something else hyper evolved to act as a predator.
47:10
So that's what their plan is gonna be.
47:12
And then we had to a very gremlins esque montage of crabs
47:16
on the town. Yeah, man, it's like fucking up
47:18
the entire town. It did feel very gremlins,
47:20
you're right. Like they're just gonna be
47:21
mischievous. Like, there's one point where
47:23
there are several of the crabs lined up under taps in the bar
47:26
and just, like, pouring beer directly into their creepy
47:29
little mouth holes. Yeah.
47:33
So Hunter, he drove off on his own.
47:35
He's like, I got shit dude. He went over to.
47:37
Flanagan. Flanagan, yeah, he says.
47:39
I'm gonna go make sure Flanagan's OK.
47:41
Yeah, so he shows up at Flanagan's place and there's
47:43
blood on the door. Hold on, as he's driving there,
47:46
he's got the Radio 1 and it's like, now it's time for the
47:49
weather and she goes, it's fucking raining crabs.
47:52
What are we still doing here? Yeah, that's a great.
47:54
Point it's a quaint is a great little like throw away.
47:58
Throw away line. Yes, thank you.
47:59
Hey, you know, I know how it feels to get all warped up Nords
48:04
there. All right, So he he shows up at
48:06
Flanigan's blood. It's everywhere.
48:09
So he goes to check on it and Flanagan is kind of alive, but
48:13
mostly dead because it seems like the crabs are controlling
48:16
him. Yeah, so he goes to hit the
48:18
crab, which in the process is killing Flane again, and he uses
48:22
his bong. Yeah, yeah, we'll burn out.
48:25
Yeah. So we now get a glimpse of the
48:27
giant crab. It's the Kaiju crab.
48:30
It's making its way towards the beach and we.
48:33
Get our Nickelodeon montage in the shop.
48:36
Yeah, I like how the right before that they kill a couple
48:39
of crabs. Minrath does a Dom toretto, she
48:41
gets a giant wrench and she just bashes one of them it.
48:45
Worked for Dom. It worked for Dom and you know,
48:48
I think that that is the motto of this movie.
48:50
I think our theme, our theme this weekend was like Dom did
48:55
that because everything that goes right and wrong Dom has
48:59
done at some point because we also watched Vacation, the 2015
49:02
one with and Helms and he was like, I'm going to pull a Vin
49:05
Diesel and I'm going to like hit the brake real quick and then
49:07
we'll. Fling across.
49:08
The median. And instead they do a multiple
49:11
rollover and we're like, well, yeah, he did that as well.
49:15
Yeah, he's done both. Yeah, Dom's not perfect.
49:17
He's flawed. Yeah, despite what Vin Diesel
49:19
would want you to think. Vin Diesel's not flawed.
49:22
Dom Toretto is flawed. Yeah, exactly.
49:24
Yeah. All right, so they've built the
49:27
big Mecca now. It's fucking crazy.
49:30
They go out to the beach because the crab has emerged on the
49:34
beach, and we get our big old Kaiju battle.
49:38
He gets his arm chopped off by the crab though.
49:42
Yeah, the to be clear, the robot, the Metazoid arm.
49:45
Yeah, the Gundam. Yeah, Yeah, He gets his arm
49:47
chopped off. So he does this thing where like
49:51
he grows a tail which also grows him like a giant battle axe.
49:55
Yeah. So he starts using that on the
49:57
crab. He cuts off the crabs Pincher.
50:01
At one point Radu comes up to join them on the beach as
50:04
they're watching this and he goes fucking cool and violent.
50:07
And that's that's my review of this movie.
50:09
Fucking. Cool and violent.
50:11
Yeah, that's perfect. So Hunter now has arrived
50:16
because Phil's getting in trouble.
50:18
The crabs get in the upper hand, but he has the car.
50:21
It's going off the Cliff. He jumps out of it.
50:23
He's got, like, a cinder block or something down on the gas
50:26
pedal. So it launches off of the Cliff
50:29
into the crab right in its mouth.
50:31
Well, no, not in his mouth. It just, like, distracts it.
50:34
Yeah. It's enough for Phil to, like,
50:35
get some leverage. And then he gets his, like, face
50:39
in its face. And then he takes out the the
50:42
Amorium clustergram. And then he does what he did at
50:46
the beginning of the movie, where he gets it out, turns it
50:48
on, and shoots a big fucking Wazer through his windshield
50:51
into the crab. And he realizes that he doesn't
50:55
need to walk to be able to accomplish cool things and he
51:00
also doesn't have to be alone. And he takes that new found
51:05
inner self actualization and him and Maddie rebuild Megazord and
51:11
go fight more of the Papa crabs. They're part of like a task
51:14
force now, yeah, getting like official like debriefings or
51:18
whatever, missions from somebody.
51:20
And there's like 5 crabs in a city that they're attacking.
51:24
I want to say the sequel. Yeah, we'll.
51:27
See how that turns out. I hope they do a sequel.
51:29
I really hope they do too, because this is a lot of fun.
51:32
Yeah, man, I want like, I want Radu to be like a fucking
51:35
general in the army. Dude, yeah, he needs to be like
51:39
the specialized, like he's like the consultant or whatever that
51:43
the Army has to seek to. And he's like giving them like
51:45
insight into the crabs and how to fight them.
51:48
Oh my God, yeah, it'd be perfect.
51:50
Yeah, God, I can't wait. Is that our sequel?
51:52
That's our sequel. OK.
51:53
Yeah, you just pick up right here.
51:56
Yeah. All right, So what are you
51:59
giving a rating for at the end of?
52:01
This I'm rating I'm keeping an 8.
52:03
I'm going to keep it a 7.5 mostly just cuz I think there
52:10
are a couple of things you can clean up here and there, like
52:13
slight little punch UPS, but it's such a fantastic movie.
52:17
Yeah, it really is. It's way better than I thought
52:20
it was going to be. How did you relate to?
52:26
Who did I relate to? I guess I'll relate to to Phil
52:39
with the roll up to prom situation.
52:42
I didn't necessarily roll up with a cop smoking weed, but I
52:44
had my own fun roll up. I guess I would probably relate
52:51
to would I relate to probably the DJ who like when he sees so
53:00
like crab get into it gets really into it gets like man, I
53:05
just I love watching animals reactions to music.
53:08
So if I saw the crab they like into it be like, fuck yeah,
53:10
let's see what else we can do for that.
53:11
Crab is eating. Yeah.
53:13
Yeah, it was good. OK, cool.
53:16
What was Scout's favorite part of the movie?
53:20
Is that where we're? At Yep, OK.
53:22
Let's see, what did Scout like about this movie?
53:26
I would think Scout's favorite part was when the crab was in
53:31
the water because it was kind of doing the move that she does
53:35
where she kind of like trows through the water with.
53:38
The Panther. Yeah, like, you know, with it up
53:39
to her like, face or her eyes. She's kind of like hiding
53:42
stealthily. Obviously, her favorite part is
53:48
when the evolved crab attacks Radu after he spent two minutes
53:53
in insulting it. Yeah, we do.
53:55
That to her, we roast her pretty hardcore most of the time and
53:58
she doesn't take it laying down. No, she gets up and she fights
54:01
back. Yeah, yeah, you're right.
54:02
That's totally Scott's favorite part.
54:04
Yeah, no, right. All right.
54:08
What else we got? We've got to pause because I
54:12
forgot to get reviews. Oh, you did.
54:14
I fucked up. OK, it's OK.
54:16
Let's go. So I've got a one out of 10.
54:20
OK, so who is this for? If you're having a drinking
54:25
party and most people are heavily buzzed, maybe then you
54:28
can tolerate the steaming pile of trash.
54:30
By the way, Not For Kids opens up with a sex scene that will
54:33
make you jump for the remote if kids are around.
54:35
Will make you think this is for kids.
54:38
I can forgive the unlikely plot. Harder to forgive is the cheesy
54:40
creature special effects. Lot of budget fair ones, some at
54:45
a lot. A lot budget fair where some at
54:49
times obviously dead horse show crabs are pulled around the
54:54
ground with a string. OK.
54:57
Later on it becomes actors and horse show costumes.
55:02
I think they mean horseshoe. Yeah, definitely.
55:05
Fails is a scare feature and also as a comedy, unlike
55:08
something like Shaun of the Dead.
55:09
A masterpiece that entertains with really wit and witty
55:12
written scenes and some bona fide scares.
55:14
This so-called movie uses instead crude language, sex,
55:17
over the top, bloody boring killings, poor acting and still
55:20
flops miserably. This movie is like a dying fish
55:23
on a beach, gasping for air and begging to have its misery
55:26
ended. Wow.
55:27
OK. I'd get it if your standard for
55:29
a horror comedy is Shaun of the Dead and that's what you think
55:32
all horror comedy should be. Or if you understand that
55:34
there's different horror comedies but that's your
55:36
preferred. Like I get it, this wouldn't be
55:39
for you isn't meant to be cheesy.
55:41
I will defend the creature effects though, because I think
55:44
they're really well done. I thought they were too like,
55:46
yeah, I don't think. I think you got to like, if if
55:50
you know where these people are coming from, I feel like you can
55:53
understand and like, you know, automatically forgive certain
55:56
things because it's intentional. Like that creature design thing.
56:00
It's supposed to be like that, like somebody in a costume,
56:02
because that's what they're going for.
56:04
I think they're going for like that classic look of when people
56:08
would do that shit, you know? Yeah, you're right.
56:12
Like it's kind of not only things are going to live up to
56:15
the standard of Shaun of the Dead because that's one of the
56:17
better movies out there. Like that's a hard thing to live
56:20
up to. You got to have like a medium,
56:23
man. Like not everything can be
56:25
great. Not everything should be great.
56:27
Like there, there's perfectly fine space for movies that are
56:32
trying to be silly and not meant to be serious.
56:36
And that's what this movie is. I think that it did exactly what
56:39
it like set out to achieve. And I also understand not loving
56:43
necessarily, really to have sex scenes in crude language thrown
56:45
into stuff. For better or worse, it's a
56:49
staple of the genre. I'm not bothered by it.
56:51
I'm not either. It's but you know, that's again,
56:53
that's a personal reference type of thing.
56:55
There is horror out there for people that don't necessarily
56:59
want to see you. People have sex, you know?
57:01
Like, it's not like a dirty secret that we need to really be
57:04
that worried about. Like we're watching people die
57:05
here. What's wrong with a little sex
57:07
too? All right, I got a six out of 10
57:09
review, and the reason why I chose this will be immediately
57:13
obvious. It's called Dance of the Squids.
57:16
Many years ago I saw a movie called Dance of the Dead.
57:18
Wow. OK.
57:19
That movie had zombies as its main enemies and was funnier
57:22
than this output. Now I'm not hating, I'm just
57:24
explaining why I use the summary title.
57:26
This is quite fun too. You just have to suspend your
57:28
disbelief and go with the plow. There are quite a few things
57:31
that do not work as well as the film makers may have thought
57:32
they do or that. Wow.
57:35
Or the actors for that matter. Especially the times they talk
57:37
directly to the viewer or at least half wink at them.
57:40
But if you're grumpy about it, you'll not have as much fun
57:42
either. The Radi character will be a
57:43
litmus test for the viewer. You can dig the silliness of
57:46
him. Also, the actor is doing some
57:47
other voice over work here. As you can see in the end
57:49
credits. You'll be entertained.
57:51
It opens with Intercourse on the Beach and ends with the song
57:53
during the end credits. The song is funnier I'd say, but
57:56
then again, the beginning is also a highlight.
57:58
No pun intended. OK, a lot of people just it's
58:03
gonna take issue with that sex scene for some reason.
58:05
I yeah it's called crabs. I would assume there would be at
58:09
least a wink and a nod joke to. Like that kind?
58:12
Of crabs, yeah, yeah, we got it out of the way early on and then
58:17
we can move on to the Kaiju. Yeah, I don't.
58:20
I still don't understand the problem with that, but I'm glad
58:23
that that person at least acknowledges that this movie has
58:26
like an audience if you're able to get yourself in the
58:28
headspace. Yeah.
58:30
And I also appreciate the acknowledgement of like the
58:33
nuance, I guess if you want to say of like the experience to
58:38
the Ratu character. Yeah, yeah, Good.
58:40
What Miss says. You're right.
58:41
I don't know what that says about me, but I love the
58:43
character. Yeah, like, I, I mean, we talked
58:45
about it. I'm not going to rehash all of
58:47
that, but, you know, but we'd love to hear everybody else's
58:50
opinions on those things, too. Yeah.
58:53
And I think that's pretty much it, OK for this movie.
58:56
Yeah, I'm good with that. I think that we we covered it.
58:59
Now it's time for is a titular question to be or not to be?
59:06
I think it's pretty obvious what the answer to that.
59:08
Yeah, to be. Yeah, to be for sure.
59:11
Absolutely. We'll watch this again.
59:13
You should too. Yeah.
59:14
If you've listened to this whole episode, even if you know the
59:17
shit that's gonna happen, I think this is like more of a go
59:19
for the ride type movie. It's not a story heavy movie at
59:23
all, it's just an experience. It's like a roller coaster.
59:26
You know you're gonna, you know exactly where you're gonna wind
59:29
up at the end of it, but that's not why you're there.
59:31
It was good going in blind though.
59:32
I had no idea what to expect from this movie and it just like
59:35
blew away all my expectations. It was, it was so much fun and
59:39
I'm so glad that we finally got to talk.
59:41
We managed to avoid talking about it too much yesterday.
59:43
Other than me just going like, are they friendly?
59:47
No. Yeah, that rapper song at the
59:50
end is awesome. I thought the end's Bob.
59:54
Yeah. All right, man.
59:57
All right. I guess that does do for this 1
59:58
then. All right, we just want to take
1:00:00
a quick moment to shout out our bubbies, our prom committee.
1:00:04
Over at the Patreon. We have Joe Freakatron as is his
1:00:07
name, Amber, Michael, Lord, Zombie, Tyler, Chad, Johnny and
1:00:12
Jason. Yeah, thanks guys for being our
1:00:14
prom committee this month. It means a whole lot to have
1:00:17
your all support means the world to us.
1:00:20
And if you aren't able to be patrons like those cool people,
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Give us that one. Does does wonders.
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Makes a big difference. Playing through our episodes
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Everything makes a big difference.
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Yeah. Thanks for being here though.
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We appreciate you guys, really. Appreciate you all and.
1:01:00
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Bloody Mary. Yeah.
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All right, so we'll see you guys on the show next week or
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