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244. The Strings That Bind Us (And Break Us) · The Kathie Owen Perspective Podcast

• 0:00
  Welcome back to Kathie's Coaching podcast.
• 0:03
  I'm your host, Kathie Owen, your Chief Encouragement Officer for life, helping you reconnect to your heart, your vision, and your team.
• 0:13
  So welcome back to Lessons from Ted Lasso, where we take scenes from one of the most inspiring shows ever created, and discover the deeper wisdom inside them, the kind that helps us live, lead, and love better.
• 0:28
  Today we're diving into the strings that bind us an episode that's all about connection, risk, forgiveness and the beauty of imperfection.
• 0:39
  And wow, this one hit home right in the heart because it's exactly where I am right now in my business, in my healing and in my leadership.
• 0:52
  The episode opens with that dreamy, almost etal moment, dreams by the cranberries playing in the background, soft, golden light, people living life in simple ways.
• 1:06
  It's one of those scenes that remind you life is beautiful when you slow down enough to notice it.
• 1:12
  It's not about perfection, it's about presence.
• 1:17
  And that theme runs throughout this episode.
• 1:20
  That's why I love how Ted lasso weaves music into meaning.
• 1:24
  It's a string that binds the whole show together, reminding us to pause, breathe, and look for the beauty even in the chaos.
• 1:33
  Early on, Ted introduced the idea of Total Football a system based on freedom, awareness, and trust.
• 1:41
  And the players have to move together, anticipate each other, and take risks.
• 1:46
  Ted explains four components.
• 1:48
  Number one, conditioning, number two, versatility, and number three, awareness.
• 1:55
  And then he never says number four, but we'll get to that later.
• 1:59
  Each of those elements ties into something deeper for me right now, as I build my own total wellness team, you know, the people who will help me take my luxury wellness business to the next level.
• 2:12
  I'm learning that it's not about control.
• 2:14
  It's about.
• 2:15
  Flow.
• 2:17
  It's about trusting intuition, supporting each other's choices, and letting go of baggage.
• 2:24
  I've been learning to release old corporate conditioning.
• 2:29
  The kind that said, success had to look a certain way and replace it with something a lot more free and a lot more human, and a lot more intuitive to life.
• 2:40
  So there's this hilarious but profound scene where Ted tells the team, hush your butt.
• 2:46
  Hush your butt.
• 2:47
  Hush your butt.
• 2:48
  He tells each of them that, and then I thought that's exactly what Neville Goddard teaches.
• 2:54
  Tell your 3D world to quiet down.
• 2:57
  You know, hush your butt.
• 2:59
  When the outside world looks chaotic or negative, we don't have to engage with it.
• 3:05
  We can slam the door shut and return to our inner vision, the world inside us.
• 3:10
  That creates everything out there.
• 3:13
  That's been huge for me lately.
• 3:15
  When fear, doubt, or noise starts talking, I just whisper, hush your butt.
• 3:21
  Yeah.
• 3:22
  Honestly, what I do is I go into meditation and find my answer there instead of in the 3D world, and it works.
• 3:34
  So let's talk about Nate.
• 3:36
  Nate, oh, Nate.
• 3:38
  He's navigating his awkwardness and self-doubt as he tries to ask Jade out.
• 3:45
  He asks Siri, how do you know if a girl likes you?
• 3:48
  And Siri responds.
• 3:50
  You can't even, his mom and his sister say the same thing later in the episode.
• 3:56
  You just can't.
• 3:58
  That's such a spiritual truth.
• 4:00
  Love, like life doesn't give you guarantees.
• 4:04
  You just have to trust and show up authentically.
• 4:07
  And I also wanna add here, you need to have courage because when things are uncertain, you can either give into fear.
• 4:17
  Or you can have courage and face it and trust and show up authentically.
• 4:22
  And this is so touching, I have to say, you know, Nate goes into the restaurant.
• 4:29
  And he looks like he's gonna ask Jade out, but he can't even find the words.
• 4:35
  So he goes into the restroom, and in the past he has actually spit in the mirror to gain that courage.
• 4:43
  But this time he doesn't spit in the mirror.
• 4:47
  He smiles.
• 4:48
  You can see he's shifting.
• 4:51
  He sees his own humanity and he even makes Jade this little gift box.
• 4:56
  It's like he spends a lot of detail on it and it's beautiful and it's a symbol of care and vulnerability and authenticity.
• 5:06
  But actually the box gets run over before the date.
• 5:10
  And I wanna add here that actually Nate makes a lot of importance on all of this.
• 5:16
  And if he had just dropped importance, like we talk about in reality, trans surfing.
• 5:21
  It might've turned out differently, but we're not gonna talk about that right now because this is about being human, and he does make it important.
• 5:31
  Now we could see that box getting run over as a tragedy, but I see it as symbolism.
• 5:37
  The box represents control when we clinging too tightly to how something should go, and you know, I say this all the time, should is a dirty word, but when we cling too tightly to how something should go, life sometimes crushes the box to free us from the attachment.
• 5:56
  I'm gonna repeat that because it's important when we clinging too tightly to how something should go, life sometimes crushes the box to free us from the attachment.
• 6:08
  And Nate still gets the date and it turns out beautifully because the heart behind the box was what mattered, not the box itself.
• 6:17
  Meanwhile, Mae the owner of the bar gets frustrated at the pub because Richmond keeps losing and her business is slowing down, and the fans say they've humanized Ted and lost their objectivity.
• 6:32
  I love that line because it's a mirror for all of us When you start leading with heart.
• 6:37
  People stop seeing you as a superhero and start seeing your humanness, and that's beautiful.
• 6:44
  That's what's happening in my business right now.
• 6:46
  I'm not trying to be perfect anymore.
• 6:49
  I'm not trying to follow all of these.
• 6:53
  Coaching guidelines or get on social media or even get on chat GPT and ask, what should I do today?
• 6:59
  No, I'm following my intuition and I'm not trying to be perfect.
• 7:04
  I'm trying to be authentic.
• 7:07
  I'm trying to be real.
• 7:10
  I want people to see me, not a brand facade.
• 7:16
  I am gonna repeat that.
• 7:17
  I want people to see me and my authenticity and not some facade that I'm trying to put out there and package something that I'm trying to put out there that is not authentically me.
• 7:32
  So there's a trauma thread that goes throughout this episode and it's got generational baggage.
• 7:39
  And this is a quick but powerful moment at practice where one of the players throws up whole Cheerios and he talks about conserving energy during a war.
• 7:50
  That's not just humor, that's generational trauma showing up.
• 7:54
  We inherit fear patterns, scarcity and old beliefs from the generations before us.
• 8:00
  When I left my corporate job, I realized how much of my own family's programming was still guiding me.
• 8:07
  The safety first, don't take risks, keep the steady paycheck.
• 8:12
  You know, that mindset breaking that is liberating, but it's also emotional work.
• 8:19
  Later in the episode, Sam's restaurant gets vandalized.
• 8:23
  It's ruined by propaganda in the government and prejudice, and he's heartbroken.
• 8:29
  It reminded me of when I lost my corporate job.
• 8:32
  It was painful, but it was also the push I needed to step fully into my purpose at the end.
• 8:40
  When they rebuild the restaurant, Sam decides to leave the broken mirrors as they are.
• 8:45
  He says, I'm gonna leave them that way because it reminds me that everything doesn't have to be perfect.
• 8:51
  Wow.
• 8:52
  That line sums up the entire episode.
• 8:56
  As a Chief Encouragement Officer, I want my team to embrace that we don't need perfection, we need authenticity, alignment, and heart.
• 9:06
  And then probably the most touching scene has to do with Sam's father showing up after his restaurant got vandalized because it's one of the most powerful moments in the entire show, and I remember this very well, and I've used this scene in actual speech that I gave, but Sam actually bursts into practice.
• 9:31
  He's furious and screaming in pain over what happened.
• 9:34
  And this is not like Sam's usually jovial personality.
• 9:39
  And at that exact moment, his father walks in.
• 9:43
  And Ted has just said something very profound.
• 9:46
  Right before this moment happens.
• 9:49
  "Sometimes you've got to leave space for God to walk through the door." And then Sam's father walks through the door.
• 9:56
  That's not a coincidence.
• 9:58
  That's grace because his father tells him, open your heart.
• 10:03
  Anger will only weaken you.
• 10:05
  Do you wanna piss off those who hurt you?
• 10:08
  Forgive them.
• 10:09
  And then he says something that I have used in my speech, don't fight back, fight forward.
• 10:16
  I felt that so deeply.
• 10:18
  Forgiveness is strength.
• 10:20
  Fighting forward is how we change the world, not with revenge, but with vision and love.
• 10:27
  So back at the halftime, Ted reminds the team that the right idea is sitting behind a couple of wrong ones.
• 10:35
  Then Jamie steps up and he says, and I wish I could do the accent, but I can't.
• 10:40
  He goes, stop going to me, start going through me.
• 10:45
  Everyone thinks that's number four sacrifice, but Ted says, no, that's not number four.
• 10:50
  But he says, that's a good one.
• 10:53
  And he never tells us the fourth pillar.
• 10:55
  And maybe that's the point.
• 10:57
  Maybe the fourth string that binds us isn't something to name.
• 11:02
  Maybe it's the unseen connection between us all.
• 11:05
  Belief, love, divine flow, that holds everything together.
• 11:12
  For me the fourth pillar is authenticity and vision, and living at the end of your dream, whatever you're dreaming, remain.
• 11:26
  In that dream, that's the space for God to walk in.
• 11:31
  The fate that fills the gap between what we can control and what we can't.
• 11:38
  Don't forget that.
• 11:42
  And this is where we tie it all back to leadership.
• 11:46
  Ted Lasso isn't just a coach, he's the original Chief Encouragement Officer.
• 11:51
  He leads with belief, humor, and heart.
• 11:55
  He builds people up.
• 11:57
  He reminds them they're already enough.
• 12:00
  That's how I want to lead my business and my team through luxury wellness experiences that connect people in a very disconnected world.
• 12:11
  Because the true strings that bind us aren't policies or productivity or social media or Chat GBT.
• 12:20
  They're actually love, laughter, forgiveness and belief.
• 12:27
  So if you're watching this right now and you've been struggling to find your team, your purpose or your piece, remember you don't have to be perfect.
• 12:37
  The box can break and still lead to beauty.
• 12:40
  Broken mirrors still reflect light.
• 12:44
  And sometimes when you let go of control, the right people walk through the door at just the right time.
• 12:51
  That's the string that binds us.
• 12:53
  That's the lasso way, that's the way of a Chief Encouragement Officer All right.
• 13:00
  Thanks for watching today and drop your biggest takeaway in the comments and tell me what strings are binding your beautiful life together right now.
• 13:09
  And don't forget, you can read more reflections and grab your free resources in the blog post Linked Below.
• 13:16
  Alright, that's my episode for today.
• 13:18
  I trust that you found it helpful, and if you know someone who can benefit from this, please share it with them.
• 13:24
  And until next time, I'll see you next time.
• 13:28
  Peace out and namaste.