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Uncover Your Hidden Superpower: The Secret to Harnessing Your Hormonal Cycle To Transform Your Work and Life! · Work It Like A Mum

0:00
Elizabeth Willetts: Hey, I'm Elizabeth Willits and I'm obsessed with helping as many women as possible achieve their boldest dreams after kids and helping you to navigate this messy and magical season of life.
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Elizabeth Willetts: I'm a working mum with over 17 years of recruitment experience and I'm the founder of the Investing in Women Job Board and Community.
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Elizabeth Willetts: In this show, I'm honored to be chatting with remarkable women redefining our working world across all areas of business.
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Elizabeth Willetts: They'll share their secrets on how they've achieved extraordinary success after children, set boundaries and balance, the challenges they've faced and how they've overcome them to define their own versions of success.
0:43
Elizabeth Willetts: Shy away from the real talk?
0:44
Elizabeth Willetts: No way.
0:45
Elizabeth Willetts: Money struggles, growth, loss, boundaries and balance we cover it all.
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Elizabeth Willetts: Think of this as coffee with your mates, the mixed with an inspiring TED talk sprinkled with the career advice you wish you'd really had at school.
0:57
Elizabeth Willetts: So grab a cup of coffee or a glass of wine and make sure you cozy and get ready to get inspired and chase your boldest dreams, or just survive Mondays.
1:07
Elizabeth Willetts: This is the Work it Like A Mum podcast.
1:10
Elizabeth Willetts: This episode is brought to you by Investing in Women.
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1:29
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1:52
Elizabeth Willetts: Now back to the show.
1:54
Elizabeth Willetts: Hello and welcome to this week's Work it Like A Mum podcast episode, where we dive into the stories that shape the lives of incredible women, balancing the art of motherhood with their ambitious career aspirations.
2:07
Elizabeth Willetts: Today I'm delighted because I'm going to be chatting with Danielle Howell, who is the hormonal cycle optimization coach, and she offers advice in women's health.
2:17
Elizabeth Willetts: She isn't just about wellness, but Danielle is about empowering women to harness the power of their hormonal cycles, optimum productivity and well-being.
2:25
Elizabeth Willetts: She is a coach, speaker and resilient mother who has stepped boldly into entrepreneurship.
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Elizabeth Willetts: She embodies the spirit of redefining success on her own terms.
2:35
Elizabeth Willetts: So we're going to get to know the woman who's transforming the way we think about work, wellness and our bodies.
2:41
Elizabeth Willetts: Thank you so much, danielle, for joining me today.
2:44
Elizabeth Willetts: It's such a pleasure to chat with you.
2:46
Elizabeth Willetts: Have you always been interested in women's health?
2:50
Danielle: That's a great question to start with, and, if I'm honest, it's probably not.
2:54
Danielle: I probably grew up in my teens I'm trying to think back.
2:58
Danielle: It's a long time now.
2:59
Danielle: I was probably fairly conscious of my own health, but not to a huge degree, and I think it's something that certainly when I hit about 35, I probably actually started to pay more attention to my own body and myself, and it's grown from there really.
3:16
Elizabeth Willetts: Was there a moment then at 35?
3:18
Elizabeth Willetts: Was it something that happened that made you become a bit more aware?
3:22
Danielle: I guess there was a number of things.
3:23
Danielle: Around my 30s I started to get more into fitness.
3:26
Danielle: I was doing triathlon training and I did an Ironman.
3:31
Danielle: I tried to do one Ironman and I failed miserably, and so I went back and revisited that and I did it properly.
3:38
Danielle: So I did it again and I just became a lot more connected with my body.
3:43
Danielle: I also read a book called Period Power by Maisie Hill.
3:47
Danielle: It's a great read and it kind of goes alongside with the type of work that I do now.
3:51
Danielle: But really when I read it if you ever read one of those books where you're just nodding and think, oh my god, all of this is making so much sense of my life and it was one of those moments for me where I thought, okay, I've been very fortunate in my life that periods were never really debilitating for me.
4:06
Danielle: They were quite straightforward, quite light, and so I was able to carry on fairly normal through that.
4:15
Danielle: So it wasn't something I had needed to pay attention to.
4:17
Danielle: But when I started to understand there were some changes that weren't just about PMT, that it was more than that.
4:24
Danielle: It turned into something bigger and caught my attention.
4:28
Elizabeth Willetts: How does our hormones affect us throughout the month, you know, not just on our periods, and why should we all be more aware of our hormones and our cycle?
4:38
Danielle: Yeah, so we often think about just being on your period or not, right, and thinking that there's two phases, but there's actually four phases.
4:44
Danielle: So you're talking about the first being when you do have your period and you're bleeding, and then you go into.
4:50
Danielle: I tend to talk about these as seasons, actually, because it's an easier way to remember than these long sciencey words, right?
4:56
Danielle: So if you look at spring as the phase after your period, so period is winter, very similar to winter, when you want to curl up and just watch movies, and then you're going to spring after that and that's when your energy is starting to rise and you're a bit more motivated to do things.
5:13
Danielle: Your summer is when you ovulate and you're really confident and capable of doing things and you're just putting yourself out there in that kind of ready-to-mate phase.
5:23
Danielle: And then you've got autumn, which takes you all the way back to when your period comes again, ready for winter.
5:29
Danielle: So it's a continuous cycle, but there's four phases and throughout that, as a saying, there's a few things to bear in mind that how your energy will change, but your confidence could change, your productivity levels will change and it can impact so, so much, and it is more than just your physical body, it's also your brain.
5:46
Danielle: There's a lot more research going into this now and your brain can actually change by up to 25% throughout a cycle.
5:53
Danielle: So the way you're thinking is very, very different.
5:57
Danielle: So you know when you're working, mum, and whether it's your own business or you're in the workplace, the way your brain is working is different and it's often and a lot of the women I speak to we only start to pay attention to that when you start going into that menopause phase.
6:10
Danielle: When you start to get brain fog or different symptoms like that, you realise the connection with the brain.
6:15
Danielle: So I'm really trying to encourage more people to pay more attention earlier on to get that connection with what's going on in their body physically, emotionally, mentally all of that combined.
6:27
Elizabeth Willetts: So what should you do then?
6:29
Elizabeth Willetts: How should you I suppose it's quite you know I absolutely get it because I 100% like feel more energetic, happier.
6:36
Elizabeth Willetts: You know, in that earlier stage of the cycle and then towards the point where you're coming on your period, you do want to curl up.
6:42
Elizabeth Willetts: You know you can take things more personal as well and feel sometimes things feel a bit of a slog, you know and.
6:48
Elizabeth Willetts: But you know life unfortunately isn't like, you know, like businesses, and you're 24, seven, you've got kids to take school.
6:55
Elizabeth Willetts: You know, every week how do you modify your life?
6:59
Elizabeth Willetts: I guess you know, once you've got that awareness, to suit that your cycle and is there anything we can do and how do you advise people to manage?
7:08
Danielle: There's so much you can do, very much you can do.
7:11
Danielle: Where do I start?
7:12
Danielle: And honestly, if you were to look at your entire life right now, all of the things that you're able to control, you've got things like what you're eating, you know, how you're sleeping, how you're exercising it's quite a holistic view of well-being is looking at all of those different elements and how you look after yourself and, in terms of if you've got your own business, you can adjust how you're running your own business.
7:35
Danielle: So it's lots of different things maybe.
7:38
Danielle: Actually, I give you some examples to bring it to life.
7:41
Danielle: So if we talk about our own businesses, it's probably quite a good example because we do have a bit more control than if you're employed.
7:47
Danielle: You haven't got quite so much control.
7:49
Danielle: But if you're running your own business, generally when you've got your period and that week or two beforehand, you probably want to focus more on your kind of internal processes, your internal administration, the planning, the analysis, the financial stuff.
8:06
Danielle: You know all of those things that need to go on behind the scenes to run a business.
8:10
Danielle: But you don't need to be out there front and centre.
8:13
Danielle: You know putting your business out there if you can target the times when it's your spring and summer, so that time from when you aren't having your period through to when you've ovulated and if you're tracking you'll know exactly when that is if you can focus those times on that outward facing stuff, you know going to networking events, going to do more speaking, pr stuff like that or maybe you want to go and actually focus your client work in there.
8:39
Danielle: There are people that take this really to the extreme where they have built their whole business, where they are basically spending two weeks doing their client work, one week doing admin and one week off every month.
8:53
Danielle: Now, that's not necessarily everybody's desire.
8:55
Danielle: Some people might listen and think, oh my god, I need that in my life.
8:58
Danielle: I know I think that, but it's just an example of how you can take it to that level.
9:04
Danielle: But yeah, because of the way that your brain is working, it really helps with things like procrastination, because you're not going to sit down and try to do something that your brain and your body is not up for at that time and you end up going and procrastinating and doing something else that was never on the to-do list anyway.
9:21
Danielle: So it's just it's getting a really good understanding.
9:23
Danielle: That connection is the most important thing getting an awareness of what you're feeling like throughout each phase and then making some.
9:30
Danielle: I would say, just start small, small changes.
9:32
Danielle: Don't go booking a week off every month, because I don't want to be responsible for that, but making small changes so that you just feel a little bit more in control and you're able to do the right things that feel right for you at that time and you'll still feel productive.
9:46
Danielle: You're not going to go through that phase of sort of beating yourself up for not doing what you set out to do on that day.
9:52
Danielle: Does that make sense?
9:53
Elizabeth Willetts: absolutely, and you know the people that do run their businesses like that do they feel?
9:57
Elizabeth Willetts: You know, obviously you know they must feel happier and more productive.
10:00
Elizabeth Willetts: You know what, from an outside perspective, what does it look like to you?
10:04
Danielle: yeah, and I think this is the the benefit some women do see of being able to have their own business.
10:09
Danielle: They build it how they desire, whether it's like that or whether it's in a completely different way.
10:13
Danielle: Obviously, anyone who sets up a business has a view of how they want it to work with their life right.
10:18
Danielle: So for these people that I have seen taking it to extremes, yeah, they just seem calm, in control.
10:25
Danielle: They seem definitely still productive.
10:29
Danielle: Because I think that's the other thing people think.
10:31
Danielle: Whenever I start working with someone, they always say are you just going to tell me I shouldn't do anything when it's my period?
10:37
Danielle: And that's completely not what I'm going to say.
10:40
Danielle: I'm going to tell you to focus on doing some analysis of your business, doing some reviews of what's working, what's not working, what do you want to do differently?
10:49
Danielle: Because of the way your brain is working at that time, when you have your period, the strength you have is a heightened level of intuition, so that phrase of trusting your gut is very, very prominent at that time.
11:02
Danielle: So it's a skill and it's not to be ignored and you can use that time to be productive.
11:07
Danielle: It's just a different way that productive looks at that time to what you might think productive is.
11:13
Elizabeth Willetts: So yeah, you can still spend time working on your business, but in a very different way so if somebody's working in a business and they're not running a business, they do have slightly less control.
11:23
Elizabeth Willetts: But how can they use an awareness about their cycle to think, you know, make them productive in their job and make their job more enjoyable and more successful?
11:33
Danielle: yeah, it's a really great question because I do hear that a lot of people say you know, will I only have limited control over how I organize my to-do list?
11:40
Danielle: There's deadlines to me, there's all sorts of things I have to be doing.
11:44
Danielle: Got me things in my diary, exactly exactly.
11:47
Danielle: So, without going into all the minutiae detail, the question I would say to you is what can you control?
11:53
Danielle: Yes, there are things you can't control, but what can you control?
11:56
Danielle: So I would focus on making sure you are eating the right thing, so your nutrition is well balanced.
12:02
Danielle: But also you can actually adjust the types of food you eat throughout the month.
12:06
Danielle: For example, you know the day's leading up to your period.
12:09
Danielle: Do you ever find that you're just really ravenous, you're really hungry, because you need 300 extra calories on those days?
12:16
Danielle: Your body genuinely needs it?
12:18
Danielle: Yeah, because of what's going on, what it's doing, the hard work that it's having to put in for you to be able to go into that period phase.
12:25
Danielle: So that's just one example.
12:27
Danielle: You know making sure you're eating enough so that your blood sugar levels can stay as calm as possible and not be fluctuating all over the place.
12:33
Danielle: It can help you to balance how you're coming across in that phase, how your period is and how you experience your period.
12:42
Danielle: There's a big thing to think about with stress.
12:44
Danielle: Obviously we're always talking about trying to stay less stressed and be calm, which is sometimes easier said than done as a mum right, but scientifically the body cannot really produce cortisol at the same time as those sex hormones.
12:57
Danielle: You may have heard people talk about estrogen, progesterone.
13:00
Danielle: These are the hormones that are needed to be produced throughout the month, that do fluctuate, which make us a little bit like we are.
13:07
Danielle: You know how we're maybe behaving slightly differently throughout the month.
13:10
Danielle: If you're not producing too much cortisol, too much stress hormone, your body can't do the sex hormone stuff that it needs to be doing, so basically it will stop it.
13:20
Danielle: So you may have heard people who are so stressed or, you know, working so so hard, not eating properly, their periods can stop all together and that is because the body is trying to protect you effectively and say, okay, we'll stop that process so that we can look after you to keep you going.
13:37
Danielle: So we may not be quite that extreme, but you may find that the more stressed you are, you may find that you have more difficult time with that period.
13:45
Danielle: So if you can focus on those sorts of things, it can help you to show up at those times when you maybe can't control it.
13:52
Danielle: Maybe you've got, like you say, a big meeting or a presentation to do and it's your period and you're like great.
13:59
Danielle: But you know how you.
14:01
Danielle: You can choose what you eat that morning.
14:03
Danielle: You can choose how much sleep you get the night before.
14:05
Danielle: You know all of these things, and I do teach people about specific affirmations that you would say on that day to yourself that you wouldn't say on another day.
14:14
Danielle: It's about giving yourself that extra boost of confidence that you may need on that day.
14:18
Danielle: So just setting yourself up as much as you can for the success that you need by showing up in the best version of you at that time.
14:28
Elizabeth Willetts: What would you've thought mentioned about eating?
14:29
Elizabeth Willetts: Welcome, you give us some examples of foods that are good to eat throughout the month.
14:33
Danielle: I mean generally having a healthy, well balanced diet.
14:37
Danielle: As everybody says right all the time Is good for you and it does help with keeping the hormones balance and that's so, so important.
14:45
Danielle: Is there something called seed cycling?
14:48
Danielle: Have you heard?
14:49
Elizabeth Willetts: of that before I've heard of the name.
14:51
Elizabeth Willetts: I haven't heard of what it is.
14:52
Danielle: To tell me what it is, I'm not, don't know anything about the cycle so in the first half of your cycle ovulation, before ovulation estrogen is the primary hormone and in order to support the production of estrogen, they say the big, whoever they is.
15:06
Danielle: But the scientific research says that by having flaxseed and pumpkin seed in that first half, you're gonna support good production of estrogen In the second half of your cycle.
15:16
Danielle: You're talking about sunflower seeds and sesame seeds as opposed to the flaxseeds and pumpkin seeds, because those seeds will support the right production of progesterone which is needed in that second half of your cycle.
15:28
Danielle: So the theory behind is adjusting so that you can incorporate that.
15:34
Danielle: Say, you have yogurt for breakfast, which I do every day and have done for years.
15:37
Danielle: You know, bringing those seeds into that.
15:39
Danielle: It's not a major, major shift and we're talking about, you know, table spoon full is not a whole bag of flaxseed.
15:46
Danielle: But just making those small changes can support the production of the right hormones at the right time, and that can.
15:53
Danielle: I'm no fertility expert and I don't teach people about fertility specifically, but I've definitely read about success stories of people focusing on that To help you have the right levels of hormones at the right time.
16:04
Danielle: But yeah, I mean the nutrition part is it's a whole world which you know, when I'm coaching someone, if we go into nutrition, that's probably a whole program full of content.
16:14
Elizabeth Willetts: I mean, it's so important, isn't it?
16:15
Elizabeth Willetts: Nutrition is incredibly important, something you've said.
16:18
Elizabeth Willetts: Let's stop me, maybe you need to eat more.
16:20
Elizabeth Willetts: You know, in the lead, the build up to going on your period because I've been like dieting for two years and it's not Things cutting out calories I that's when those headaches really kicked in, when I've come on a period because I've been really trying not to overeat throughout.
16:42
Elizabeth Willetts: Yeah, you're right, I think I need to like think about how I eat, because you know it's probably not.
16:48
Danielle: Yeah, it's so important.
16:50
Danielle: It's so important to give you the energy you need to sustain the different phases, but it's also just important for your general health, to be honest.
16:58
Danielle: But if you're looking, you talked about dieting and that word stuck out for me because I've ditched dieting altogether.
17:05
Danielle: I just like to focus on healthy living, healthy eating, but enjoying as well, making a positive association with the food I eat.
17:13
Danielle: And don't get me wrong, I have little treats every now and then and I don't usually call them treats either, but yeah, it's just eating to a way that my body is telling me I need to eat.
17:23
Danielle: But if you think as well about things like bloating, lots of women experience bloating at different times of the month, whether it's either ovulation or during, just before or during period.
17:33
Danielle: Things like the dark chocolate, which is anti inflammatory, can be really, really helpful.
17:40
Danielle: There's lots of other anti inflammatory type foods, but that can really help with that bloating.
17:45
Danielle: And I've definitely seen a difference when I've been Trying to adjust what I'm eating, making sure I'm eating more things like leafy greens and just more anti inflammatory foods during that phase before my period is coming.
17:58
Danielle: I know I have gone to the degree I have to say I'm probably slightly obsessed, but I have basically four different meal plans that align with my cycle and we alternate that every single month.
18:11
Danielle: So every week we're going into a different phase, a different meal plan, and I've got my shopping list already to go for that phase and that's how I've got it working, which is a nice for my other half because he gets a variety of food and doesn't get fed up with the same thing.
18:24
Danielle: But it means I'm getting what I need and he's pretty tealed about what we're actually eating.
18:29
Danielle: But I'm just making sure I'm getting the right food that I need at any particular time, whether it's focusing on the anti inflammatory stuff, but also things like lots of red meat to make sure I'm getting the iron intake around that period time to replace what you're losing.
18:45
Danielle: So there's so much to it so much.
18:47
Danielle: But I'd say dieting is not ideal to support happy hormones, let's put it that way.
18:52
Danielle: You know, restricting yourself and things like fasting.
18:55
Danielle: That's really done based on men's science, that was evolved very much from men's science and that maybe some people may disagree with me.
19:05
Danielle: It's quite a bold statement to say that it's not really supportive of women's health.
19:09
Danielle: I would say if you're going to do fasting.
19:11
Danielle: Don't do it during that week or two before your period, because your body is needing it and there will be consequences, such as things like headaches, and that's your body's way of saying hey, something's not right, I need something here.
19:24
Danielle: It's just a case of working out what it is that you need.
19:28
Elizabeth Willetts: I don't know if you don't conversation, danielle, I'm learning so much.
19:31
Elizabeth Willetts: I'm like, I'm just so inspired.
19:34
Elizabeth Willetts: What exercise, then?
19:35
Elizabeth Willetts: You know, can you be exercising the same all the way through your cycle?
19:39
Elizabeth Willetts: She's shaking her head.
19:40
Danielle: No, I'm shaking my head.
19:42
Danielle: You can't see me.
19:43
Danielle: There's a big shake in the head, listen.
19:44
Danielle: So you know everyone is different and this is a big, important thing I have to say with all of this stuff.
19:49
Danielle: I'm telling you and it's important to caveat, that because we all experience our cycles differently, some people may be very, very little, have a little impact on the differences in their hormones, but some people experience a huge fluctuation.
20:04
Danielle: Exercise I learned this from the hard way when I was doing my training and I had a coach and we were obviously actually took time off work.
20:12
Danielle: I took three or four months off and I was training like a pro, like Fall time, and I saw it from my experience.
20:19
Danielle: As I was approaching my period, I couldn't physically push myself to the same level that I was any other week.
20:25
Danielle: Yeah, but it's not just physically.
20:28
Danielle: My mental state was so different I couldn't push myself mentally.
20:31
Danielle: So between the combination of my mental and physical shift, I would then feel crap because I'd be like I can't do this, why do I think I can do this?
20:42
Danielle: And it spirals and out of control.
20:45
Danielle: So I've learned since then very much about adjusting my training to suit my hormones.
20:52
Danielle: So Again, a general kind of typical way of doing things when you're in that period and the winter period and the autumn period.
21:01
Danielle: So the week or two before your period, that is when you probably want to be Holding back a little bit.
21:07
Danielle: Focus more on things like your technique.
21:09
Danielle: If you're in the gym doing weights, focus on your technique rather than the strength you're lifting.
21:13
Danielle: If you're a runner, focus on your technique of your running, your strength in the gym.
21:19
Danielle: Go and get, do some work in the gym to help build those supportive muscles.
21:23
Danielle: Things like pilates, yoga, stretching all really beneficial at that time to support what your body is doing.
21:30
Danielle: It doesn't mean do nothing and it really doesn't.
21:33
Danielle: It's about listening to your body and the more you get that connection built up you'll understand what your body needs.
21:39
Danielle: But then when you go into that spring and summer so after your period finishes you'll probably see that your energy is there.
21:46
Danielle: You're able to push mentally and physically and in that summer time around a relation Often you get.
21:53
Danielle: That's when you're gonna get a PB.
21:55
Danielle: Now I'm gonna caveat, because I do know people who actually More sensitive to each region and that means that actually as they come into a relation, when I'm talking about having more energy and being really focused and confident, capable.
22:08
Danielle: For some people that's actually too much and it kind of takes me to overdrive and make some quite anxious.
22:15
Danielle: Okay, there is a typical way of looking at it here, but it's very, very important that you have an understanding of how your body is reacting to those hormones in the different cycle, different phases of your side hard if you're a professional sports woman.
22:29
Elizabeth Willetts: I got matches and might fall on your win the first day of your period and it's been talked about a lot more, isn't it?
22:35
Danielle: I don't know if you saw in Wimbledon this year they were allowed to wear black shorts under their kit because of obviously, if you've got your period, you're going to feel really conscious.
22:43
Danielle: I can't even imagine having to wear whites and just imagine if you leat how awful would that be.
22:49
Danielle: And I have seen runners, professional runners, who now will run without any ads or tampons in and it's got a name and I can't think what it is.
22:59
Danielle: But it's sort of like this being completely free with your cycle and free with your period and just letting it do what it needs to do, which some people feel a bit uncomfortable about, and it's a really interesting debate, to be honest.
23:12
Danielle: But yeah, I mean God, I can't even imagine when you show up to do your life, potentially life changing man, and like you're winning for the UNO, you're in the Olympics finals and it's the first day of your period, yeah.
23:23
Danielle: So the British football team and actually quite a lot of the football teams now, are really bringing this into their training and I read some stuff about it when the Women's World Cup was on earlier in the year and I found it fascinating that they're bringing that in and it's brilliant.
23:36
Danielle: So even in their training they're not pushing people when it's that wrong time of the month.
23:40
Danielle: Their understanding now as coaching teams they should push certain times and at other times they just support them in that phase because they know if they push them they're actually at a higher risk of getting injured and they're not going to recover as quickly because they're straining their body beyond what is kind of necessary.
23:58
Danielle: So they're really bringing that into that.
24:01
Danielle: But obviously on a match day, that's quite a different topic, isn't it?
24:05
Danielle: How much do you want to be pulled off the pitch because it's your period?
24:09
Danielle: Actually, you're not going to be performing to your best today.
24:11
Danielle: That's a really tough one.
24:13
Elizabeth Willetts: Is there any evidence that I'm thinking routine, like the football team, that women, if you know, in close proximity to each other, their cycle sink?
24:21
Danielle: Yeah, definitely a theory there, and it goes back years in well, many, many, many years ago where they had something called the red tent.
24:27
Danielle: So if you've heard of that, no, no, in sort of communities as we used to live right, they would have what's called a red tent.
24:34
Danielle: So anybody with their period would then go and live in that red tent for that week or however long it is.
24:38
Danielle: But what that meant.
24:39
Danielle: You often see women in two ends of the spectrum, and a lot of this links to the moon as well.
24:44
Danielle: I'm not massively in on the moon stuff but I respect it and I appreciate that some people are.
24:50
Danielle: But if you have your period when it's lots of women having their period at the same time, you'll find a group of women also having their ovulation at that same time, and apparently the theory goes that that was so that women go into the red tent but there's a group of women then there to hold the fort, keep things going to support the women that couldn't do what they needed to do, and then effectively in a couple of weeks they would switch and the others would be in the red tent and the other women would be out there then supporting everybody.
25:18
Danielle: So it just meant the fort kept going.
25:21
Danielle: The men were still being supported.
25:23
Danielle: When they came home from their hunting activity, Things still were ticking over, which is really fascinating that is fascinating.
25:31
Elizabeth Willetts: So thinking about sex education and people that have got teenagers what do you wish was taught in sex education at school?
25:40
Elizabeth Willetts: And if you've got a teenager, what advice would you have to support them?
25:45
Elizabeth Willetts: Girls and boys.
26:37
Danielle: Yeah, it's huge, because this is the biggest thing I say every day, god, and I hear it every day.
26:42
Danielle: I wish I'd known this sooner, because at school you're taught pretty much the science, aren't you?
26:48
Danielle: Again, those long-winded names that you can't even remember now I still don't.
26:52
Danielle: You're not really learning the impact.
26:55
Danielle: Okay, so my hormones change throughout the month.
26:57
Danielle: What does that really mean for me?
26:59
Danielle: And I think it's really important for young girls to understand that, because I know that there's stats of depression in young girls and mental health issues in young girls now are so much higher, and I think we can honestly help with that if girls can understand how their hormones are impacting, how they're feeling, to have that acceptance that, oh, it's okay.
27:19
Danielle: There's not something necessarily bigger going on.
27:21
Danielle: Right now, I know I'm in a phase of my cycle where I am going to feel a bit down or I am going to feel a bit emotional, and it's that acceptance.
27:30
Danielle: So giving them that information can be hugely empowering to them.
27:34
Danielle: So, yeah, if you've got a teenage daughter, I mean I love teaching people who are parents of daughters or sons as well to focus on encouraging open conversation.
27:47
Danielle: Yeah, from whatever age you feel is appropriate for your child right.
27:51
Danielle: I'm not going to dictate and tell you From the age of eight they should be aware it doesn't work like that.
27:55
Danielle: Every family is different, but if you can encourage an open conversation, I think it's great for girls, when they do start their period, to have the ability to come to you and ask those questions, to know that you're there to support them and I think, educating both moms and daughters, and dads, as I should say, as well.
28:14
Danielle: Actually, it's just allowing them all to learn together about all of this stuff, because it's not a gap just for the children, it's a gap for everybody right now, and so I'm on a mission to change that.
28:25
Danielle: To be honest, but I think with boys you may think why would I want to talk about this with my son?
28:30
Danielle: But it's hugely important because we're raising the husbands, the partners, the dads, even of the future, even as a colleague, to understand how your colleague is in the office and why they might be potentially a bit different, or as a friend or as an uncle, literally as any role you could play.
28:47
Danielle: Having that information available to you is important and I love it.
28:52
Danielle: Now I'm going and doing, talking, and I'm seeing more and more men showing up to these sessions.
28:58
Danielle: They're gradually getting more and more engaged in them, but the fact they're showing up is an amazing first step.
29:03
Danielle: They're there to listen, they want to learn and, yeah, I love to see that, because I think it's really important for us to be able to have good relationships and family relationships, partner relationships, whatever kind of relationships.
29:16
Danielle: Having those open conversations, I think is beneficial for us to be able to thrive throughout the cycle.
29:22
Elizabeth Willetts: Yeah, really, good and before we jumped on the call, I was talking about my daughters of four and six and they have no respect for personal boundaries.
29:30
Elizabeth Willetts: So if I'm on my period and I'm on the toilet and I wear pads rather than tampons, they'll come in and they will see the pad and you know, obviously it's not the prettiest side and they are sometimes quite shocked and they, like you know, use it, hurting you in pain.
29:44
Elizabeth Willetts: If you've got quite an open relationship with your children maybe mine's too open, but, like you know how do you normalise it, Something like that small little minds and not frighten them and not overwhelm them.
29:56
Elizabeth Willetts: I don't know if you guys recognise it's really, it's tough.
29:59
Danielle: My daughter's only 22 months, she's just coming up to two and she does definitely come into the bathroom with me.
30:05
Danielle: I hear you we're there already.
30:07
Danielle: She's in there with me watching what's going on.
30:09
Danielle: So, yeah, it's tough.
30:11
Danielle: You don't want to be ignoring it necessarily, because if you ignore it it almost creates something where they will come up with their own solution for what it is and what it's about, their own story.
30:21
Danielle: So I think there's definitely a piece of acknowledging it.
30:25
Danielle: But you know explaining I think you said again before the call it's not painful necessarily.
30:31
Danielle: You know this isn't bleeding as in like you've fallen over and cut your knee type bleeding.
30:34
Danielle: It's something very, very normal.
30:36
Danielle: And I have a client who has three daughters and we had this conversation this week and she has a lovely way of telling her daughter you know, this is really important because it means you know I can have babies and it means you know I could have you.
30:48
Danielle: If I didn't have this, I couldn't have you.
30:50
Danielle: And she said you know, when you're bigger, because they said oh, mommy, I don't want to have that.
30:54
Danielle: And they said to them in a really nice way you know well, when you get bigger, it means you can have babies as well, which they love you.
31:02
Danielle: Most girls want a baby, don't they thing to cuddle, and they don't realise the hard work that is involved and they don't.
31:08
Danielle: But I think, acknowledging it, making sure they know it's okay and that it is normal and that, yes, it will happen to you at some point but it's going to be okay, and I am here to support you in that, to answer the questions that you've got, and maybe quite going into that deep level of conversation at age four, but it's a journey, isn't it, that you work through together.
31:30
Elizabeth Willetts: And you did a TEDx talk.
31:32
Elizabeth Willetts: Was that something quite recent, or how did that come?
31:34
Danielle: about I did.
31:35
Danielle: That was in May this year, so a few months ago now.
31:37
Danielle: Yeah, and I loved that experience and I still pinch myself.
31:41
Danielle: Every time anyone says that to me it's crazy.
31:44
Danielle: So that came about.
31:45
Danielle: This is the power of networking for me, and I totally underestimated this before I opened my business.
31:50
Danielle: It was somebody that I had connected with it actually is my brand photographer and she sent me a message and said this is happening at the University of Essex, which is literally 20 minutes down the road from me, and she said you'd be perfect for this, the theme for the event, because each TEDx event has a theme, and the theme was mind the gap.
32:10
Danielle: And she said your work that you're doing fits their theme.
32:14
Danielle: So so well, you need to apply.
32:16
Danielle: I thought, okay, I'll apply.
32:19
Danielle: You know what have I got to lose?
32:20
Danielle: I didn't expect to get through, if I'm honest.
32:24
Danielle: So I get through.
32:26
Danielle: I had an interview on Zoom because we were still in that world of Zoom, now aren't we?
32:29
Danielle: I had an interview on Zoom and got an email soon after to say and the email the subject was you are a TEDx speaker, which was just like oh my God, amazing.
32:41
Danielle: Yeah, and I did that and I really focused that on hormonal cycle alignment being a solution to burnout because I see and have seen and have experienced myself so many women struggling with this roller coaster of burnout.
32:57
Danielle: I'm not, you know, minimizing what burnout is.
33:00
Danielle: I know some people really struggled to the degree that you know quite serious effects in their life, but for me, in my experience, it was very much a monthly recurring.
33:09
Danielle: Yeah, I get that.
33:11
Elizabeth Willetts: I get you know.
33:12
Elizabeth Willetts: Normally when I come out of a period it puts me to bed.
33:14
Elizabeth Willetts: I get headache.
33:15
Elizabeth Willetts: Then I will go through this and I love my work normally, but for two days a month I'm like I hate it.
33:20
Elizabeth Willetts: I want to give it all.
33:21
Elizabeth Willetts: It's draining.
33:23
Elizabeth Willetts: I feel so poorly, you know, I'm getting burnout.
33:26
Elizabeth Willetts: And then as soon as I come off a period I'm like back back.
33:29
Danielle: Exactly, and I think if you've not got that awareness and that connection with your own body, you kind of just ride that roller coaster obliviously.
33:38
Danielle: And so I wanted to bring the concept of actually this doesn't have to be the case If you can understand what's going on with your body, tune into it and start making adjustments, like I talked about earlier, to actually avoid that happening as best as you possibly can.
33:55
Danielle: It's still going to happen I'm not naive to that, but it's about managing it as best you can.
34:00
Danielle: So, yeah, I did that and it was amazing.
34:02
Danielle: So if you haven't watched it, please do go watch.
34:04
Danielle: Well, did you?
34:04
Elizabeth Willetts: have to go on a date.
34:05
Elizabeth Willetts: Was it in person or not?
34:06
Elizabeth Willetts: It was in person.
34:08
Danielle: Yeah Right, how did you manage your nerves?
34:10
Danielle: It wasn't easy, I'm not going to lie.
34:12
Danielle: Luckily, I was actually ovulating at the time.
34:15
Danielle: So you know, this is quite an interesting story because things change in your cycle and I obviously focus on planning to avoid any kind of interruption in your cycle, but things do happen and I had a bit of a shift in my cycle.
34:30
Danielle: So I'd written this whole speech around the fact that I was going to be doing this TED talk when I had my period.
34:36
Danielle: That was initially.
34:37
Danielle: When I looked at the dates, I thought, oh, you've got to be joking.
34:39
Danielle: So I thought you know what?
34:40
Danielle: Let me talk about that as a starting point.
34:43
Danielle: You know, I shouldn't be here today doing this because I've got my period and that's exactly what I tell people not to do but instead, because of this shift, I ended up ovulating, so I had to rewrite my whole speech on a completely different topic.
34:56
Danielle: But yeah, I got very, very nervous and the day before we'd gone for a rehearsal and I had a complete mental block halfway through it and I thought, oh God, this is not good, because I had to literally learn it.
35:08
Danielle: You don't have any prompts.
35:09
Danielle: You don't have any VT with a screen or what's not VT auto queue, that's the right word.
35:14
Danielle: There's nothing like that.
35:16
Danielle: And you're not allowed notes.
35:17
Danielle: Loretta, how long you went to talk for Gail?
35:19
Danielle: 15 minutes, gail.
35:20
Danielle: How long time, loretta, it's a long time.
35:23
Danielle: And I'd been practicing at home, obviously a million times.
35:26
Danielle: My poor daughter, I think if she was a bit older she'd have just said mum, please shut up.
35:30
Danielle: But yeah, on the day and I'm not gonna lie, it was a struggle on the day the girl running the slides got a little bit out of sync with what I was talking about.
35:39
Danielle: So I had a moment where I was like, oh God, this isn't going to plan.
35:43
Danielle: But it all came together in the end and obviously, if you watch it, you'll see it was great fun and such an experience and I'd actually love to do it again.
35:51
Danielle: Now, having done it, I think I would be a lot calmer going into a second time.
35:55
Danielle: And it's that familiarity, isn't it, once you've done something, once you know what to expect.
36:00
Danielle: So it'd be a little bit easier the next time around, gail.
36:03
Elizabeth Willetts: What does it mean to you being a working mum?
36:04
Elizabeth Willetts: You know looking at your daughter how.
36:07
Elizabeth Willetts: You know what does it mean?
36:09
Danielle: It's blimmin' hard.
36:10
Danielle: I think I said to this to you before we started recording, that I've worked with so many mums in the past and I have just never had any appreciation for what they're doing outside of those hours that I'm seeing them.
36:24
Danielle: And now I wish I could go back to all of the jobs I'd had and all the women I've worked with and say, you know, well done you, it's so hard.
36:31
Danielle: Yeah, I never realised how hard it would be.
36:35
Danielle: I set my business up before I had my daughter.
36:37
Danielle: I did a bit of a shift in my niche after having her right.
36:40
Danielle: Before I had her right I was just a mindset and personal development coach and it was quite generic, and before that I was in corporate for many years.
36:47
Danielle: But I did a shift when I came back from maternity and I thought you know, yeah, I can do this, I can do this and it's a constant struggle and you'll know, and I'm sure everyone listening who has children will know you get into a routine and then that's change and then you have to find a new routine and then you get used to that and then something else shifts and you have to get used to that.
37:10
Danielle: So it's like nothing settles, you have to just roll with it and do what you can.
37:16
Danielle: But at the moment, you know, I'm working.
37:20
Danielle: Evenings I spend, I guarantee my other half Fridays and Saturday nights that I won't work there are.
37:25
Danielle: Sometimes I do pick up the laptop while we're watching TV together and I kind of do a few things, but generally I'm always working the evenings.
37:33
Danielle: I'm always working when she's napping.
37:34
Danielle: I do have a little bit of support from family, who are wonderful, and that will change when she goes to preschool.
37:41
Danielle: So that's it, that's the next phase.
37:42
Danielle: And then when she goes to school, that's the next phase.
37:45
Danielle: But it's hard, isn't it?
37:46
Danielle: And this, this thing of mum guilt, you know, even when she wakes up from a nap and I sit down to play, and then I can think of all these things that I really wanted to do today in the business and then you're like, oh, don't pick up the phone.
38:00
Elizabeth Willetts: No, exactly, because I know you're in two places.
38:02
Elizabeth Willetts: You might be physically there, but mentally, yeah, someone else.
38:07
Danielle: Yeah, it's so hard, and I think that's the thing, isn't it?
38:09
Danielle: Now, with our phones, you can run a business from your phone, which is amazing.
38:13
Danielle: At the same time, it's also a real pressure and it literally calls to you, and I mean my daughter yeah, she's only nearly two and she already loves to play with the phone and I I sit and think, oh my God, that's my fault, because she just sees me on it all the time and I do really try to not be on it 24 seven.
38:29
Danielle: But you know, when a client message comes in, what do you do?
38:33
Danielle: How do you deal with that?
38:34
Danielle: So, yeah, constant battle, it's hard.
38:37
Elizabeth Willetts: Someone that settled my business, like you during that time and, I'll be honest, far too many episodes of Paw Patrol and Octanoss.
38:44
Elizabeth Willetts: But now my daughter is like she's a sea life expert because they're both at school now and it is so much easier and you know when they, when you start preschool, you'll notice it.
38:57
Elizabeth Willetts: And I hope you get to this point, because I've got to this point now where I've managed to settle my business and it sort of takes the school day really and then I finish at three, go pick them up and actually, because I've had that real chunk in the day, I can be with them and not feel I've missed things that I didn't manage to do in those little pockets of time.
39:19
Elizabeth Willetts: So it's one of these things like hang tight, because then it does get easier.
39:23
Elizabeth Willetts: And now I'm like, yeah, it was worth it because I've got an hour school, our job, basically that just fits around them, which otherwise how do you get that?
39:33
Danielle: I mean, I'm not going to lie, you know, there's times where I have thought maybe it would just be easier to go back part time.
39:40
Danielle: I don't have to think about this, I can walk away from the office and be a mum.
39:45
Danielle: But I've looked and they're not hard.
39:48
Danielle: They are hard to find, they're not easy to find those kind of jobs.
39:51
Danielle: So then I have to remind myself no, why I'm doing this is actually because I want to be a good role model for my daughter and I want her to see, if you work hard, what you can achieve and what you can reach all your desires and all your dreams if you work hard for it.
40:05
Danielle: So I have a little poster actually underneath my screen.
40:08
Danielle: I'm looking at it right now on my computer and it's got my why and my why is, you know, watching her grow, having that time to watch her grow which, whilst it's hard, I have that right now and I'm so, so grateful for that.
40:20
Danielle: You know, being a role model for her, the flexibility to live my life as I choose it, that personal achievement and making my family proud, they're the things.
40:28
Danielle: That is my why, and every day I look at that and remind myself this is why I'm doing it Absolutely.
40:33
Elizabeth Willetts: And I think you know, as she gets older and she sees what you're doing, she'll be ever so proud of you.
40:38
Danielle: And I love it even at two, nearly two.
40:41
Danielle: She loves to come into the office and she goes work, work, and I have to pull out the chair and she sits there and she puts my headphones on and she taps away on the keyboard and it really does make me think, oh, I love that because she's seen me doing it, but she wants to be doing it too.
40:55
Danielle: She's not seeing it as something that she should resent because it takes my time away from her.
41:00
Danielle: She wants to get in and do it with me.
41:02
Elizabeth Willetts: So yeah, I've never had none of my.
41:05
Elizabeth Willetts: These are.
41:05
Elizabeth Willetts: My kids have ever said that.
41:06
Elizabeth Willetts: You know, mommy, stop working with me, go for your laptop.
41:09
Elizabeth Willetts: Never once said that to me.
41:11
Elizabeth Willetts: You know, and hopefully not like you.
41:13
Elizabeth Willetts: You know.
41:13
Elizabeth Willetts: I think it's good for them to see us work because I think we are being really, you know, whether you work or not, but it's good role model, I think, for your children.
41:20
Danielle: And, like you said, I think that can be in any form, right and lots of different forms, but for me, that's what I've chosen at this point in my life to do to play that role for her, absolutely.
41:31
Elizabeth Willetts: So tell us how do you support your clients.
41:33
Elizabeth Willetts: Then you know what sort of clients do you support, and then how do you support them.
41:37
Danielle: So mostly, women, let's be honest.
41:39
Danielle: Yeah, and mostly people with periods.
41:42
Danielle: But what I find actually quite interesting, I get a lot of people coming to me at that point in their life where they're starting to experience some changes in their cycle, so that perimenopause into menopause phase, because they're starting to realise they need to pay attention to it.
41:55
Danielle: So what I would encourage, and I always encourage start tracking your cycles earlier.
42:00
Danielle: Start ASAP, today, make today the day, because there's so much benefit to it as opposed to it just being about menopause.
42:07
Danielle: It can help your transition through menopause.
42:09
Danielle: But, you know, focus on it as a priority right now, don't put it off.
42:13
Danielle: So, yeah, mostly women.
42:15
Danielle: I do kind of two sides to things, really my corporate side.
42:18
Danielle: As much as I left it, I still like to go in and I love to be able to talk to them about how this can be brought into the workplace.
42:26
Danielle: Let's open some of those conversations, remove some of those barriers to this kind of topic in the workplace, and I love that.
42:33
Danielle: And then, on the other hand, I'm working with individuals around their own cycles.
42:37
Danielle: So I have got a group programme which is specifically for business women and it's really looking at how they run their business.
42:44
Danielle: Let's bring it into alignment with your cycle tools, techniques, very, very practical stuff.
42:49
Danielle: But I also then work with individuals on a one-to-one basis and it can look like you know many different things.
42:54
Danielle: I've got a VIP day that I've just launched this week actually because I'm hearing lots of women saying I don't have the time to go on another programme that's going to take me six or 12 weeks or be committing to that same time every week.
43:07
Danielle: So the VIP day with me is just let's.
43:10
Danielle: We're actually going to a spa, which I love.
43:12
Danielle: It gets me in the spa too, which is great.
43:14
Danielle: But no, we're going to go to a spa and we're just going to sit for five hours in a really nice environment and look at what you're doing with your cycle.
43:23
Danielle: How are you tracking now?
43:24
Danielle: And if you're not, that's fine.
43:25
Danielle: I'm going to teach you everything you need to know to start that tracking process, and then let's put a plan into place for all of your actions, of how you're going to bring that into your life, and then I'm there after to support you through that as well in a number of different ways.
43:38
Danielle: But yeah, I love working with women.
43:41
Danielle: I'd love to do a course for men.
43:42
Danielle: Maybe that's on the agenda for next year, because I hear about it all the time.
43:46
Danielle: If I had a penny for every woman that says to me, can you do something for my other half, he really needs to know this stuff.
43:53
Danielle: So maybe next year that will happen.
43:56
Danielle: Watch this space.
43:56
Danielle: But at the moment just working with women and I just love empowering them to make small changes that have a big, big difference to their life.
44:04
Elizabeth Willetts: You've definitely inspired me.
44:05
Elizabeth Willetts: Thank you so much, Danielle.
44:06
Elizabeth Willetts: Where can people find you, connect with you and learn more?
44:09
Elizabeth Willetts: I may be booked one of your services.
44:11
Danielle: So I'm on Instagram and I'm on LinkedIn at the HCO coach and I am also on the website of wwwthehcocoachcom and if you want to get a free one page guide to know what to do in the different phases of your cycle, you can grab that on my website.
44:30
Danielle: It's on the free stuff page.
44:32
Danielle: It's really easy to find or just message me.
44:35
Elizabeth Willetts: I think we'll put all the links in the show notes.
44:36
Elizabeth Willetts: Thank you so much, danielle, for your time today.
44:38
Elizabeth Willetts: Thank you, thank you for listening to another episode of the Work it Like A Mon podcast.
44:46
Elizabeth Willetts: If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, review and subscribe, and don't forget to share the link with a friend.
44:53
Elizabeth Willetts: If you're on LinkedIn, please send me a connection request at Elizabeth Willett and let me know your thoughts on this week's episode.
45:00
Elizabeth Willetts: You can also follow my recruitment site, investing in Women on LinkedIn, facebook and Instagram.
45:05
Elizabeth Willetts: Until next time, keep on chasing your biggest dreams.