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How To Get A Narcissist To Leave You Alone For Good · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on beautiful folks?
• 0:01
  Today we'll be talking about how to get a narcissist to leave you
• 0:05
  alone. How to get them to stop
• 0:07
  hoovering. How to get them to just go about
• 0:10
  their their days and go about their lives and leave you the
• 0:14
  hell alone so you can be free, so you can live in peace.
• 0:16
  How how how let me go let me go. So no introduction anymore.
• 0:22
  Y'all just cut it off for a little bit and see how things
• 0:24
  go. But yes, there are a lot of
• 0:27
  narcissistic toxic people that will absolutely just refuse to
• 0:32
  leave you alone. Like if to get inside the mind
• 0:36
  of a narcissist, you have to understand that a lot of
• 0:40
  narcissistic people really, truly think that you belong to
• 0:43
  them, right? It's the belief in the mind of a
• 0:47
  narcissist that you absolutely are their property, like you
• 0:51
  belong to them in some way, shape or form.
• 0:54
  So with you belonging to them and with things going like that,
• 0:57
  they just sometimes they refuse to leave you alone.
• 0:59
  I literally got a message on Snapchat this morning, right?
• 1:02
  A woman sent me a video. She said, Lee, I've been four
• 1:06
  years, no contact. This is what happened a couple
• 1:09
  days ago. It's a picture.
• 1:10
  It's a video of her Ring doorbell, right?
• 1:13
  And her narcissistic partner or ex or whatever, right coming up
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  on her, like coming up to her house, throwing a damn brick
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  through her window, busting her car windshield out.
• 1:25
  He's got a mask on. He just like throwing stuff.
• 1:28
  He go grabs, grabs a fire hydrant.
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  Look directly in the camera. You can see his eyes, right?
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  He's like a ninja turtle. You can see his damn eyes.
• 1:34
  But he threw something through the window.
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  She's like, how do I get him to leave me alone?
• 1:37
  Yo, I'm going to keep it hot and ready like a Little Caesar's
• 1:40
  pizza. Sometimes you have to force
• 1:42
  those crazy sobs to leave you alone.
• 1:46
  You have to call the police. Sometimes you have to set a
• 1:47
  trap. If they're doing crazy ass stuff
• 1:49
  like that, you have to set a trap like a mouse.
• 1:52
  You remember the old traps back in the day, the old cartoons,
• 1:55
  what they used to have the they used to have the trap like this
• 2:00
  and then you pull the string and trap some.
• 2:03
  You might have to set something up to a little narcissistic bait
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  right here or put it, put the little narcissistic bait right
• 2:09
  here. They come in there, a little
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  narcissist comes in there like a like a Beagle, like a Beagle
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  hounder, and then you trap them. You either trap them sometimes
• 2:20
  right to catch them up because some narcissistic people, let's
• 2:26
  keep it real, will not leave you alone.
• 2:28
  Some of them will just absolutely outright refuse to
• 2:31
  leave you alone because they think you belong to them, right?
• 2:35
  They really do think you belong to them.
• 2:37
  They just like, it's the mindset.
• 2:39
  So you have to force them. You have to force them.
• 2:42
  Sometimes you had to call the police with Lee.
• 2:44
  I don't. They told me if I call the
• 2:45
  police on them, it it would ruin their life.
• 2:48
  Yo, you're not ruining their life by calling the police on
• 2:53
  them. If they refuse to leave you
• 2:54
  alone, they are ruining their own lives because they don't
• 3:00
  have to do this, Yo, They don't have to do it.
• 3:04
  They can choose to leave you alone, but they're choosing to
• 3:06
  be intentionally antagonistic. They're choosing to do this
• 3:10
  stuff. They don't have to mess with
• 3:12
  you. They don't have to do this stuff
• 3:14
  right, but they're choosing to do it.
• 3:16
  Yes, they might be out of control.
• 3:17
  Yes, they might be erratic. Yes, they yes, they might have
• 3:20
  impulse control problems, but that does not excuse the
• 3:24
  behaviors. They did not excuse what they're
• 3:26
  doing and how they're treating you, how they're behaving.
• 3:28
  It does not excuse that. So if they tell you you're going
• 3:31
  to ruin my life, tell them you're ruining your own fucking
• 3:35
  life. Leave me alone.
• 3:37
  You don't have to do this. You absolutely do not.
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  You don't have to be a terror. You don't have to stalk me.
• 3:45
  You don't have to do this type of stuff.
• 3:48
  You don't have to. You're choosing to.
• 3:51
  You don't have to do this. So if you as you, as long as you
• 3:54
  keep dealing with a narcissist or a toxic person, this is what
• 3:57
  you're going to get, right? So sometimes you have to call
• 3:59
  the police and force them to leave you alone.
• 4:01
  Other times, y'all, you have to shut the door on them, right?
• 4:06
  If you are still in contact with them and you don't have to be,
• 4:11
  Let's just let me preface this. If you are still in contact with
• 4:14
  them when you don't have to be, which means you don't have kids,
• 4:18
  there's no business arrangements.
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  Y'all don't date, y'all don't live together.
• 4:22
  There's nothing tying you to this person.
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  If this person were if Thanos were to snap his fingers and
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  this person were part of the 50% of Earth that disappeared,
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  nothing would change. Like like nothing in your life
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  would change. You don't have to be like I got
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  to take over. I got to take over the lease
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  because they're gone. No, nothing changes.
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  So if that's their part, if you just communicating with them for
• 4:43
  no reason other than your trauma bonded, you have to stop that.
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  Because the more you communicate with them, the more you go back
• 4:50
  to them, the more you talk to them, the more you engage with
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  them, the more you, the longer you leave them unblocked, the
• 4:56
  more they're going to try to come into your life, the more
• 4:59
  they think there's access for you, There's access to you,
• 5:02
  right? So why, let's be real, why
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  wouldn't they keep messing with you if they thought the door was
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  open? Why wouldn't they keep coming
• 5:09
  back and trying to come back into your life if they thought
• 5:12
  it was OK? So this is something you have to
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  ask yourself right here. Why are they?
• 5:15
  Why would you ask yourself like, why would they leave me alone?
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  If, why would they leave me alone if I'm giving, if I'm
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  telling them, pretty much telling them it's OK to come
• 5:26
  into my life, Why would I leave? Why would why would they leave
• 5:29
  me alone? No, why would they?
• 5:31
  Why would they go away from me? Why would they just give me a
• 5:33
  give me some freedom? If this is what's going on, if
• 5:37
  this is the message that I'm sending to them, why on earth
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  would they leave me alone? So this is something that you
• 5:43
  have to think about, right? This is something that you have
• 5:46
  to consider as you're moving forward because narcissistic
• 5:49
  people are going to do this type of stuff.
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  So if you're still in contact with them and you don't have to
• 5:54
  be, you probably have to go no contact.
• 5:56
  Of course, stay safe and use your stay.
• 5:58
  Of course, stay safe and protect your peace.
• 6:00
  Protect yourself because that helps you out in the long run.
• 6:03
  But you also have to understand that going no contact can help
• 6:07
  them get you to leave you alone. It can send them the message.
• 6:09
  OK, damn, this person is done with me.
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  I need to leave them alone. It could send that message to
• 6:15
  them. Now, would that message always
• 6:17
  be conveyed and received? Maybe, maybe not.
• 6:19
  You might have to go back to plan.
• 6:20
  Plan a Part 1, forcing them to leave you alone.
• 6:24
  You might have to go back to that, right?
• 6:26
  Yeah, I know you might not want to, but sometimes you have to go
• 6:28
  back to the original, the original plan of action and get
• 6:31
  them to leave you alone. And sometimes that's the way it
• 6:34
  has to go. So this is the type of stuff you
• 6:36
  have to consider as well. Like sometimes if you're still
• 6:38
  in contact with them, they're taking it as you're still
• 6:41
  interested in them. They really are.
• 6:43
  And people, I said people don't be believing when I tell people
• 6:46
  I just like, look, if you leave the door open, they think you're
• 6:49
  OK with it. Why would they not?
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  I think some people it might. It might rub some people the
• 6:53
  wrong way, but it really is me being real with you.
• 6:57
  It might rub you the wrong way, but I'm being authentic with
• 7:00
  you, right? Because you have to get it into
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  your mind. If this is how narcissists are
• 7:06
  going to behave, this is what narcissists are going to do.
• 7:08
  This is how they're going to act.
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  This is what they're going to do.
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  So if you're in contact with them, you have to cut off the
• 7:13
  contact. You have to shut the door, seal
• 7:15
  the windows, put the little like put a blanket underneath the
• 7:18
  door. They're cracking the door so air
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  don't come underneath it so the air don't get out.
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  That's what my Mama used to say. My grandma my put that blanket
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  on the door so the air don't get out.
• 7:26
  So keep the hot air inside, right?
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  But that's a piece of it. But if you have to be in contact
• 7:33
  with them, right? If you have kids or businesses
• 7:35
  or whatever, keep it about that. Do not entertain anything else,
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  anything else. Do not entertain anything else
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  outside. If the kids name is not in the
• 7:46
  message, is the business's name is not in the message, you don't
• 7:50
  respond. You don't have to.
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  You know, you don't have to tell y'all, because if you do it, I'm
• 7:59
  just telling you you're sending the wrong signal to this abusive
• 8:03
  manipulator. You mean you're sending the
• 8:05
  wrong signal to them. And they will absolutely just
• 8:08
  keep doing this type of stuff over and over and over again
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  because this is their mindset. They'll be like, well, damn,
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  since you, you're responding to me.
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  I thought you liked me. I thought you wanted me.
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  So sometimes you have to just don't only respond to what's
• 8:20
  necessary. Other methods you can use is to
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  be, well, yeah, think about this right here.
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  Most times it's about ownership. But what does ownership mean to
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  a narcissist? Consistent narcissist, I mean
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  consistent narcissistic supply. So if I'm getting consistent
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  narcissistic supply from you, I need that, right?
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  I need this to keep going on. I need this to happen.
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  So they're getting, if they're getting supply from you, figure
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  out what it is and cut that off. Whatever form of narcissistic
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  supply they're getting from you, you are responsible for cutting
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  it, cutting it off. Is it financial?
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  Is it bedroom, bedroom supply, Is it supplying the cheeks or
• 9:03
  the meat, right? You have to understand that as
• 9:07
  well. So whatever supply they're
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  getting from you, cut it off, become boring to them.
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  They cannot get any narcissistic supply.
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  It's kind of like you. You're their favorite gas
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  station and they run out of gas. Whenever they run out of gas,
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  they come back to you to try to fill up on whatever it is,
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  whatever supply that you give them, whatever validation that
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  you give them, they come back to you for a quick fill up.
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  Hey, I need a can you fill me up on pump 2?
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  I'm on pump 2, baby. I'm back.
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  Hey, big head. I'm on pump.
• 9:36
  Hey, big head. Go go and fill.
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  Fill me up. Fill me over some validation.
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  Fill me over some fly tea. So you have to cut off the flow
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  of the natural resource. You have to.
• 9:50
  Yeah, I'm just telling you, I this is part of what has to
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  happen, whether what goes on. So I'm just telling y'all, as
• 9:55
  you continue to heal and continue to grow, whatever form
• 9:58
  of narcissistic supply that they are getting from you, make sure
• 10:03
  they cut it off. Figure it out first.
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  This is, this might take a little work to do, right?
• 10:06
  Figure it out. You have to figure out exactly
• 10:08
  what form of supply that they're getting from you and cut it off.
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  But I also say this y'all, and I'm gonna end it with this
• 10:15
  sometimes. And you might have already done
• 10:17
  this. You might not have you.
• 10:19
  If you haven't done this, tell them to leave you the fuck
• 10:22
  alone. It's over.
• 10:25
  It's done with. Don't talk to me again.
• 10:27
  Leave me the fuck alone. Take a God damn hint.
• 10:31
  I don't care. Leave me alone.
• 10:32
  I don't want to hear it. I don't care how.
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  Give a fuck how sorry you are. There's no coming back.
• 10:36
  We're done. We're over.
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  We're finished. We're kaput.
• 10:38
  Fuck you. You understand the last part,
• 10:40
  but sometimes you have to get it out of your system and tell them
• 10:42
  to leave you alone. You have to stand up for
• 10:44
  yourself. Sooner or later.
• 10:46
  You have to stand up for yourself sooner or later.
• 10:48
  You have to stop letting them be these emotional, physical, foot,
• 10:51
  financial bullies. Sooner or later you got to stand
• 10:53
  up to the bullies. Sooner or later you have to turn
• 10:55
  and face them. We can't keep cowering.
• 10:58
  I know sometimes we struggle to defend ourselves.
• 11:01
  We struggle to stand up for ourselves.
• 11:02
  Not no more. Not that.
• 11:04
  Not after this video. Now after this video.
• 11:07
  Sometimes if you haven't told them to leave you alone, Lee, I
• 11:09
  just thought if I stopped talking to them as much, they
• 11:11
  would get the hint. They're not going to get the
• 11:13
  hint. The hint that they're taking is
• 11:14
  you still interested in them. They're not going to get the
• 11:16
  hint. Tell them to leave you alone.
• 11:19
  Sometimes you got to be direct and go straight to the source.
• 11:21
  Leave me the pink alone. You got to empower yourself.
• 11:25
  You're stronger than what you think you are.
• 11:27
  So many people get into their heads that you're not this, that
• 11:30
  you're not a strong person. You're not, you're not, you
• 11:32
  don't have what it takes or whatever because they, they
• 11:34
  convinced you of this. They convinced you that you
• 11:38
  don't have what it takes. But they who the hell, who the
• 11:40
  hell are they? Who the hell are they?
• 11:45
  They try to convince you that you don't have have what it
• 11:48
  takes right? You know they don't they, they,
• 11:52
  they can try to convince you or whatever.
• 11:53
  Y'all, you got an e-mail. So I do have to hop off y'all.
• 11:55
  I have a zoom call right now. I got to hop on just got an
• 11:59
  e-mail. I do my one on ones over zoom
• 12:01
  and whatnot. Y'all, y'all can check it out
• 12:03
  right here See I'm on Zoom right now about to hop on Zoom for the
• 12:06
  Zoom call One on ones over Zoom, coaching support groups,
• 12:09
  everything is at mentalillness.net.
• 12:11
  Hit the subscribe button and I'm out peace.
• 12:15
  What's going on beautiful folks. Thank you so much for making it
• 12:17
  to the end of my video. I truly appreciate it.
• 12:19
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• 12:23
  button. You made it this far, you might
• 12:24
  as well subscribe. It really does help the channel
• 12:27
  y'all y'all, it helps me reach more people as well.
• 12:29
  Also, I have coaching my courses and my support group available
• 12:33
  at www.mentalillness.net. Thank you so much make sure you
• 12:37
  stick around watch another video or two.
• 12:39
  I appreciate it. I'm up.