Latest / Pod Therapy / #438: Slow Progress, Human Crack, Atheist in AA

Transcript

#438: Slow Progress, Human Crack, Atheist in AA · Pod Therapy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Oh, your son doesn't hang out with you anymore, Jimsy.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: I told you that conference the latest. You can't just
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: turn on the mics, Yes, I can't. Well, you know,
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: I just thought were it is.
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: It is a sad day for Jim. Yeah, we do
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: think you need to acknowledge this because I yeah, I
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: did hear the news today and I want to pass
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: on my condolences doctor for your loss, because I know
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: this is very serious, and I know you really looked
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: up to him.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: He was a hero to you, my god. But Mark
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: Furman has died.
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: No, not Mark Furman. Mark Furman, the evidence from the
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: oj trial.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: Oh no, your hero Mark officer Mark Furman. It's detective.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: It's detective. Shot respects.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: His friends called him officer. Okay, you people, the public,
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: you called him detective.
• 0:55
  Speaker 4: What he wasn't the love guy? Was he? He was
• 0:58
  Speaker 4: the one who was like, this is the bloody love.
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: He was the one, well, he was the one that yeah,
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: he was investigating it. And then it came out later
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: that he had all of these tapes, these recordings of
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: him using the N word because he was writing it.
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: And then and then he ended up pleading the fifth
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: They brought him back in and yeah.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: Also in the nineties, who wasn't using the N word?
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: You know, I just don't feel like that was qualified. Okay,
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: so nobody was Yeah, me neither, you know.
• 1:23
  Speaker 4: I mean I didn't hear from Whitney.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: Was unclear. Yeah, and I were in second grade. By
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: the way, it's also the skin tone that Whitney distastes.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: I think you and I both lived in Texas at
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: the same time too, because you grew up there, right,
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: so you were there until college.
• 1:43
  Speaker 5: So yeah, then I went to Arkansas not much better.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: Okay, I stepped down where which part of Texas you
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: grew up in again?
• 1:50
  Speaker 5: Dallas?
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: Dude, we wow, that's crazy.
• 1:53
  Speaker 5: He like walks the hatch here.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes, no, that's crazy. Like the seventh time
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: we've talked. No, no, I know the first time that
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: I'm listening. Hey, guys, when can we talk about where
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: I'm from? But nobody gets a ship.
• 2:05
  Speaker 5: He doesn't know where you're from. Nick.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: A couple of episodes, we were in the same trade
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: and we were like in the same state, probably just
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: a couple of school districts apart.
• 2:17
  Speaker 5: That's wild, yes, very crazy.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: But you were in the same grade.
• 2:20
  Speaker 5: Yes, I think we'll know what year did you graduate?
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: Two thousand and four?
• 2:23
  Speaker 5: Oh, yeah, we were them.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: They're so great. All right.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: So you're much older than me when I was in
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: first and he was held back in the beginning of.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Thirty grade, much older. I'm six months older than you,
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: fucking child. Enjoy your thirties, idio, I am.
• 2:39
  Speaker 5: I'm loving it.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: Soon you're going to hit forty.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: You're gonna start watching World War two documentaries and craving
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: German food, as has happened to me.
• 2:48
  Speaker 5: I am German. That's probably inevitable.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well, a lot of things add up now, just
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: makes sense.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: So it was a terrible tragedy and a sad, sad
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: day for all of us. Yeah, I do want to
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: let y'all know today I received a piece of mail
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: for all of us, but it was sent digitally. Was
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: sent through the Discord email. Oh, through the Discord.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: It's a crazy way of saying email.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: For our buddy Alec Lancaster.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: And this is a long way of saying Discord message.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I received a Discord message. It is a wedding
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: celebration invitation we are all invited to for Alec and Hayley.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: Uh, they already got married. Of course. Oh I thought
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: Alec was planning next wedding for a second. That would
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: be amazing.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: We're also taking bids if anybody wants to just randomly
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: put out ideas, like why not, we could do that.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: There's a pain.
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: You can always submit ideas that will take. It doesn't
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: mean anything's gonna happen with it. It is this is
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: this is this. I'm gonna I'm gonna actually promote another
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: podcast here we've talked about, I know, but it's kind
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: of funny.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: Promote this one. It's relevant, damn it. This is our
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: whole push this one out of the year podcast I
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: listened to.
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: They're from Australia, Hammish and Andy. Yeah, and so Andy
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: is getting married. So they decided to play a game
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: where they had the other two on the show. They
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: had a one point, a two point and a three
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: point idea, each of them progressively getting more like it,
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: and they had to he that Andy had to pitch
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: them to his fiance. Oh seriously, pitch them and recording
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: it and if your idea gets accepted then you get
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: these points. Oh wow, yeah that is a great idea.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: Oh wow. I to hear about at least one of
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: these ideas.
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: Uh so they're all they're golfers. They're all three golfers.
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: So one of them was they were going to have
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: a special ball made that you could put the rings in,
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: and instead of the best man handing them, the best
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: man was going to chip them up.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and he's been working week. If the man could
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: the time, it's really good. If the best man could
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: miss it three times and the fourth time Nick could
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: aggravatedly like huff over and get it. Yes, that's that's
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: actually exactly what i'd like.
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: And you know what, Jacob, you bring up a really
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: good point. Nick, who's your best man?
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: Obviously I would be so funny.
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: Here's the thing, Matron of Honors, And in all seriousness,
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: I am holding tryouts.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: Are you for real? Yeah, I'm gonna hold I'm gonna
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: hold tryouts.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: I would get my best speech. Can I do my
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: R right now? I would do so good.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: I think you should make me the best man.
• 5:44
  Speaker 4: Not because I want to be your best man, nor
• 5:49
  Speaker 4: because I think I should be your best man. But
• 5:53
  Speaker 4: I have two points in my favor. One I think
• 5:58
  Speaker 4: I'll throw a good bachelor party. Oh yes, he's probably
• 6:01
  Speaker 4: got me on that. Uh one B, one B. I
• 6:07
  Speaker 4: think my bachelor's speech at the at the wedding will
• 6:09
  Speaker 4: be really good.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: It will be memorable, Okay, memorable. Reason two, Jim will
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: hate it.
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I already hate it. I hate that you're talking
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: so much. I'm up right, I'm gonna cry.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: Is that what you what you want me to do?
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: Because I'll do it on Patreon. It is something that
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: would make Jim so genuinely mad.
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: If you pick somebody like Ben or something you picked Jacob,
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna fucking lose it.
• 6:38
  Speaker 4: And we could watch I'm gonna go every week. We
• 6:42
  Speaker 4: could watch the deterioration.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: Hold On, you could write Jim killed Jim.
• 6:51
  Speaker 5: Hold On, here's what Nick will say to his rebuttal
• 6:54
  Speaker 5: to that will be what it always is. Don't do
• 6:56
  Speaker 5: that because I'm the one who has to deal with Jim.
• 7:00
  Speaker 5: Jim's problem.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: Right, they have a rebuttal Jacob's proposal.
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: Hold on, So that's Jacob's proposal. I will take it
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: into consideration. Yeah, okay, thank you very much. You got
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: don't call me, I'll call you.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I have a Okay, I'd like
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: to count Jim. Mine is specifically a direct answer, though
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: to what was just said.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: I don't have novel ideas. I have responses. One.
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: I'll throw you a bachelor party that will still result
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: in you getting married. I think a pretty big deal. Jacob, Yeah, yeah,
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: Jacob's off, Bro, you might wake up. You wanna just
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: covered in coke?
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: How many divorces do you think I've called? I mean,
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: not directly many, all right? I think you in the
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: list of grievous. Is it greater than zero? We all
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: know it's figure I think if you count the alligators
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: the other number.
• 8:09
  Speaker 5: Okay, my pitches actually withdraw my request to be in
• 8:13
  Speaker 5: the wedding because I'm reminded how much I don't.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: Want I don't want to be in this wedding at all.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: I don't want to be in a wedding.
• 8:21
  Speaker 5: Can I be invited to the bachelor Yeah?
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: You know, Whitney honestly should be at the bachelor party.
• 8:26
  Speaker 5: I want to go to that.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: That's a solid yea. I think you should honestly should
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: be at both.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: I feel like if if if Laura does something, you're there.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: If Nick does something, I'd be fine with Whitney being there.
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: I think it was Albert bendera who said, the best
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: person to be a leader is the one who doesn't
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: want to be a leader.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: And I think that's also I don't want to be
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: I don't want to do it.
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: I ask people to be part of a wedding party,
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: is the ones who don't want to do it.
• 8:51
  Speaker 5: I don't think that's I don't.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: Think that's I don't think that's what all. I understand
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: what you trying to say. But like these people have
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: to do stuf yeh want to do?
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: You know what?
• 9:05
  Speaker 5: I actually am made of honor for my best friend
• 9:08
  Speaker 5: whose wedding is like two weeks after yours next year.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: What are the responsibilities of a maid of honor? What
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: do you have to do? Oh? Mad of honor? Is
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: a pain?
• 9:16
  Speaker 5: That is it is a pain in the I've learned.
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: No, it's a it's a ton of ship. My best
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: man was my dad, and he was shitty at it.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: He was the fucking worst and like.
• 9:26
  Speaker 6: A goddamn Jacob.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: I'm very curious that my dad, my dad off even
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: more than Jacob. I'll hit you with my car in
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: the parking lot. That's what's gonna happen. You can go
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: from a wheelchair, because that's that's what you're gonna have.
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: That's what's your new reality. I'm sorry you were saying
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: matrons of honor are important? What do they do?
• 9:49
  Speaker 5: I wanted to hear what Jacob was.
• 9:50
  Speaker 4: I think the I think the responsibilities are fast, yeah,
• 9:53
  Speaker 4: and like varied depending on the on the bride and
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: the size of the ceremony.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: The matron of honor and wrong.
• 10:02
  Speaker 5: If you're married.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: But yes, I don't think. I don't think people use
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: the term matron of honor. I feel like that word
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: applies to never do it, don't do it like you
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: keep using it, and I don't think that's smart.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: Okay, so that's not Is there another word?
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: Is there a different? Sorry?
• 10:23
  Speaker 6: I think the only we've been saying.
• 10:25
  Speaker 5: The only time matron of honor is used that I've
• 10:28
  Speaker 5: seen is when you have a best friend who you
• 10:31
  Speaker 5: want to be your who you want to give the
• 10:34
  Speaker 5: honor and have duties of being like made of honor,
• 10:37
  Speaker 5: but maybe like your sister or somebody is married so
• 10:40
  Speaker 5: you don't want to disregard them. You end up having
• 10:42
  Speaker 5: a made animatron of honor. That's when I've seen it
• 10:45
  Speaker 5: used used as like.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: I want my grandmother to be in the wedding or
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: something like that. So it's like an honorary doctorate. That's it.
• 10:53
  Speaker 5: Well, you still the responsibilities, but kind of it's to
• 10:56
  Speaker 5: tell someone you're important without that's like the best time.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: Like the my my wife had a matron of honor.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: It was her mom, so like your mom was her matron,
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: My dad was my.
• 11:06
  Speaker 5: Whatever your parents were, dude, are you children?
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: We needed them to be there for legal reasons. They
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: needed to sign the paper work so I can do it.
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Jesus wasn't there to sign off, so we needed
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: them to do it. Don't take your time if you're
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: listening to this, which dad is told.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: All right, well thank you.
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: That was very underwhelming, to be honest, I don'tkay, I
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: don't like and you have a lot of habits so far.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: Well what you got, Well, you.
• 11:36
  Speaker 5: Can always pick your dad.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: Apparently ballsy move is to pick Jim's mom. Fuck you,
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: she would do it.
• 11:44
  Speaker 5: She's coming.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: She also officiates weddings. She's also.
• 11:49
  Speaker 5: She's like really passionate about like an offician. Since y'all also,
• 11:54
  Speaker 5: Jacob and I.
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: Are both available to co officiate if you want to.
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: We've talked about we're not available to aficial eight. I'm
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: not available to co officiate because you're not available at all,
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: because you.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: Refuse to co officiate. No, I think it's I think
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: it's the co bro. I'm available to officiate. We could,
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: we could tag it up. We could, we could tag team. Unfortunately,
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: though I'm not available.
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: You get in the front. I'll get in the back. No,
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: I and and we'll just jim but bobbly Eiffel Tower.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: Friend.
• 12:20
  Speaker 4: I agree with you completely. It would be great if
• 12:24
  Speaker 4: you and I co officiated Nick and Laura's wedding. I
• 12:27
  Speaker 4: think it would be a delight. Sadly, I'm not available.
• 12:32
  Speaker 5: Okay, whatever, David.
• 12:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm not available to co officiate.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, buddy, Okay, sorry.
• 12:38
  Speaker 5: All right.
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: Well side question unrelated to the previous question. Would you
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: be available to officiate a wedding?
• 12:45
  Speaker 5: Oh?
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, for sure, huh okay.
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but you agree it would rule like if we
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: co officiated, it'd be so good, it'd be the best.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: It would be so great.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: We'd clips the whole thing. Yeah, I mean, we'd be
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: the best duo ever, especially in our costumes.
• 13:06
  Speaker 6: Would be would be couple, we.
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: Would rule, we would be perfect without overwhelming the bride.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: I think would be taste. Honestly, I think that most
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: people would use the words a delight. I like that phrase.
• 13:21
  Speaker 4: Uh sadly, I'm just not available.
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: That would be nice, Although I was really kind of
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: hoping you guys would wait tables.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah. No, if that's what I have, I'll do it.
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: That is what you're looking for, the best man, dudes,
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: I'll do whatever you tell me to do it.
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: I'll take the blame. I was like, whose idea was this?
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: It was Jim's, you know, goofy. Jim thought it was
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: a great idea for us.
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: I would never do that, you know why, because then
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: she would Then she'd be right. She's like, I told
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: you it was a bad idea to have him involved.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: She never said that she didn't know what talks about me. Okay,
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: she knows who it wasn't ready for the fabulous Las Vegas,
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: No matter.
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: This is pot Therapy, real people, real problems, and real therapists.
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: You can submit your questions anonymously at pot therapy Now
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: or email us at pot Therapy Guys at gmail dot com.
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: Man Now broadcasting from Man Named Studio.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: That's Jim. That's what I'm Nick it's time for some
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: podcast time.
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: So, just so you guys don't know, we've been to
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: Alec Lancaster's wedding celebration. It's in Illinois. Great, it's in August.
• 14:35
  Speaker 4: Great, he sent me the actual guest list as he
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: sent it to the venue.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: Great, it is inviting any of us anywhere outside of
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: the Mojave Desert in August. Solid moves.
• 14:48
  Speaker 5: Yeah, you have a shot.
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: Shot shooting your shot? Like, fine, not impossible.
• 14:54
  Speaker 5: We can't make it to Hoboc.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: I'm still listening like the falls. No, it's not it's
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: in August. When is that August? Yeah? So what how close?
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: Iowa Illinois.
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: You may not know this, but they share a border.
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: It'd be really easy go to Hobocon and then just
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: scoop on over to a wedding.
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: So you're you're playing with a dangerous game, my man.
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: August first is Alex's wedding celebration. Okay, it's gonna be
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: in it just Lake Village of Lakewood, Illinois.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: And we were clear to talk about this on Aaron from.
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: I have no fucking clue and he knows what he
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: signed up for in front of tens of listeners. Yeah,
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: Alec and his wife might hear this for next year.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: That's a great question. I believe it's this August August
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: twenty six, August first, six, Wednesday. It doesn't say that,
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: but he needs an rs VP by June. Guys, first
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: is a Saturday. Oh yeah, you're right, I'm on the wrong.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: So it's village of Lakewood, Illinois.
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: That's the I haven't given the precise address. He did
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: send me the guest list, though, and it's pretty great.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: Is the eighth? Oh are you kidding me? Is this happening?
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: My wife's birthday is that same week? I don't care.
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: That is.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: A week? Can we get an argument? What else you
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: gonna say about this? We have a guest list? So
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: Jacob Smith on the list, s J Smith.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: Probably question mark, Jim Jobin on their unknown wife name
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: job I.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: Hope is on there.
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: Plus unknown child one and unknown child.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: To plus one on the list. Can the kids bring
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: dates they did not get? Plus? That's too bad?
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: Laura almost Tanjiman unless you're not taking his name. Question,
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: we gotta talk about that, Whitney, I don't actually know
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: your last name. That's fair and Peter hashtag safe Peter. Yeah,
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: so that is the guest list. It's Whitney pew she's.
• 17:08
  Speaker 4: It's spelled the way it sounds pew pw peww.
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: So yeah, so we're on the guest list. Can we
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: sponsor a table at Hobo Coon Like, I feel like
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: at a minimum we should be doing that. Like it's
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: going to be right there. We could send him over there.
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: What would that be exactly? We just have just a
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: picnic table.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: We have at there, just hanging over the table. It's
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: just Alec and Carrie can run the table, the saddest
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: run the table making sandwiches.
• 17:42
  Speaker 5: Can I bring the hobocon mug? But the britt Iowa,
• 17:46
  Speaker 5: isn't it hobo your sister? I have that still favorite.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: They still refuse to call it hobocon right, yeah they
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: what are they actually actually called hobo days? Hobo Con
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: is honest, we've been talking about it for the last
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: three years.
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: I only think about it as Hobo Coony.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't know because it's better. Yeah it is, clearly.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: I don't remember the real name. I just remember that
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: it's worse than Hoble cos we're good at branding.
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: Anyway, Welcome everybody to pod therapy. It is still a
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: mental Health Awareness Month. We are taking this one early,
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: so that'll probably factor in if you are listening to
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: this right now. That means that my interview with Emma
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: the Intern has just aired this week, this Monday, and
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: in real life, we haven't recorded it yet. I assume
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: it will be mostly about my fetishes. I think that's
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: going to be a big part of the conversation. Yeah,
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: I think it's it's really no holds barred. I've sent
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: her an email and told her, whatever you want, you
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: just go Whitney.
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: And you know, I completely believe that because up because
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: every other interview you've had full control over the questions
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: I have.
• 18:57
  Speaker 6: And so now am I going to call it?
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 19:00
  Speaker 6: You did, I call it out.
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: You're fucking welcome. Okay.
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: I'm the one that when aggregated listener questions which ultimately
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: got used on Jacob. After listening to that, I was like,
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: all right, I really want to be more intimate. So
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: I wrote her questions and I was like, take that
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: to Nick.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: She did. Your interview went great. After that interview, I
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: learned more and I was like.
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: Hey, ask Whitney these questions. Whitney asked none of those questions,
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: or am asked none of those questions and with the
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: questions again doing great. So yeah, my questions may be different.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: Who knows.
• 19:32
  Speaker 6: I think I will be writing questions.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: I think I think the three of us will be
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: writing questions. There are time, there is time to do that.
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: We're going to use our that text thread that we
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: have that we don't have Jim on, Yeah, we'll do that.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: Questions. You just want me to cry, I do. That's
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: what you're doing. That's what you're doing live on air.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: It's gonna get weird. It's gonna get really weird.
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: Speaking of live on air, we are going to be
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: airing a live episode of this show on Sunday, May
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: thirty first, probably in the evening that's usually when we record.
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: But if you are at patreon dot com slash therapy,
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: you don't have to wonder because we're letting you know
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: about it, and as you're hearing this episode, you are
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: getting an announcement this week letting you know when it
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: is going to be so you can attend live. It's
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: probably going to be aired on YouTube. You know that
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: already for a Patreon, but weeks in advance, I don't know,
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: probably YouTube, that's where we're trying to build traffic, so yeah,
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: you can jump in there, you can enjoy the chat.
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: So if you are listening to this, there is still time.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: Go to Patreon dot com slash therapy sign up at
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: any level you will be notified about the live show.
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: It'll be a lot of fun. Also, thank you to
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: those of you who have been buying the gift memberships.
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: People are taking them.
• 20:40
  Speaker 5: That's so cool.
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: It is the sweetest yep and so, and also thank
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: you to the folks that have been emailing. We've been
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: promising that if you just email us and say, hey,
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: heard you have some free memberships, I'd like one, no
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: questions asked, we will send you a link. And that's
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: what we've been doing. And so people have been using
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: these memberships. It's been great. So thank you to those
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: of you who went the extra mind at patron dot
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: com slash therapy about gift memberships and then message us
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: said hey, here's the link that they sent me. We
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: recycle that people are using them. It's been really cool.
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: And people have been very generous buying year long memberships
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: to the directory, so it's been really cool. So people
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: are getting that. It's awesome. Remember for Mentalth Awareness Month.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: If you're at the therapod level end up, you're getting
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: the video episode. You can see us right now. We're
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: all waving at you, except for Jacob. Jacob does what
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: he wants to do. So it's been a really fun month.
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: We really love and appreciate all of you and all
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: of your support. May is a month that a lot
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: of you re up for the year and sign up
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: for your memberships, and we just really appreciate that and
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: we hope that you continue to get something.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: With this project.
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: Thank you for doing it with us. It's a people
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: powered project. We don't take any sponsors. We have had
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: people come along over the years, corporations that have seen
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: to be a part of it. Sometimes we've partnered, but
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: you know, it's not always a good fit. And so
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: we're just really grateful that this continues to be just
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: something that's powered by the listeners. The people that enjoy
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: the show, they join our community, they're part of it.
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: So thank you everybody that's a part of it. Thank
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: you for making Mental Health Awareness Month something that matters
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: in the world. So we've got some great questions for
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: today's show. We're starting off with Slow and Steady progress. Hey, crew,
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: I'm doing the work, like actually doing it, and somehow
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: every step forward still feels like two steps backward. What
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: gives quick context? I'm a parent to a one year
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: old as soon to be hitched motherfucker, which where we've
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: got our own communication stuff we're actively working on FYI,
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: and I finally finally found the right therapist after way
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: too long of trying. The progress in therapy has been
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: genuinely incredible. I also took forever to accept that I
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: needed medication for ADHD and severe depressive disorder with a
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: side of mediocre anxiety. Yes, mediocre purposeful word choice that
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: occasionally decides to cause play as severe just to keep
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: things spicy. Oh and I lost fifty pounds and six
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: months on a health kick. So like, I'm doing things,
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: but I'm still stagnant. The work is paying off, just
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: at a glacial pace, and I can't tell if that's
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: normal or if I need to white knuckle it harder.
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: So do I need to push myself more? Or is
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: slow progress is still.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: Progress actually true?
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: And I just need to sit with it. Is this
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: that good old ADHD kicking in and the slow pace
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: just pushing me over the edge? Sincerely therapiesed enough to
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: know better six' six.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: Six you know that's the HOSPITAL room i was. Born
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: In what?
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: No true my mom who was twenty and is like
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: it was extremely religious at, the time like freaked the
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: fuck out.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: About that so damn the more, You.
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: KNOW yeah i so you're not going to see my mom?
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: Next week as we've, BEEN.
• 24:02
  Speaker 5: Over i don't Know that i'm not.
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: Going to she's pretty.
• 24:05
  Speaker 5: Vocal about it. To.
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: YOU yeah i Talked.
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: To jacob your mom's also on the TEXT threat i should.
• 24:11
  Speaker 6: Tell, You, like god.
• 24:13
  Speaker 5: DAMN it i didn't want to, tell You.
• 24:14
  Speaker 6: But jesus.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: From time to time she'll text me and, be like
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: It is jacob being nice. TO you i, was, Like, What,
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: no no that's. ALWAYS interesting, I.
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: Mean i don't know if that's she's she's following up on.
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: AN agreement i don't know what.
• 24:32
  Speaker 5: THAT'S about i keep paying them. Every week.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: It's being nice because it's you seem like your a. Little,
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: lippy yeah be a little too nice to put you back.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: In there, If anything i'm doing the. Fucking service.
• 24:48
  Speaker 5: Thank you for being. A, friend yeah this this question
• 24:52
  Speaker 5: was kind of funny to me because as you're. Reading it,
• 24:55
  Speaker 5: i'm thinking what do they mean they're not? Making progress
• 25:00
  Speaker 5: just listed a lot, Of progress and literally my mind,
• 25:05
  Speaker 5: went to is this LIKE an adhd thing where you
• 25:08
  Speaker 5: are seeking? THE dope i meane you're seeking that like
• 25:12
  Speaker 5: it's almost like. HIGH energy i have friends who are
• 25:14
  Speaker 5: like this where sometimes they'll get into relationships or things
• 25:19
  Speaker 5: like that that are, really, good wonderful healthy relationships and then, they're,
• 25:22
  Speaker 5: like oh you, know what this is a kind of
• 25:25
  Speaker 5: boring or they just feel like a friend or Something
• 25:28
  Speaker 5: and i'm like, that's okay but.
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: They're overthinking, i'm, like.
• 25:31
  Speaker 5: Yeah your last one was abusive and things, were crazy
• 25:33
  Speaker 5: so like maybe take a step, back there, just yeah
• 25:38
  Speaker 5: you can work on. Those things you can work on.
• 25:39
  Speaker 5: Those THINGS but i almost see this is, LIKE yeah
• 25:44
  Speaker 5: I mean i FEEL like adhd can be a superpower
• 25:47
  Speaker 5: sometimes because you've accomplished so much once you figured out
• 25:50
  Speaker 5: medication and a. Good therapist sounds like you did all
• 25:53
  Speaker 5: the work and now you're. Seeing progress, BUT yeah i
• 25:57
  Speaker 5: wonder how much it is just that little TUNE of
• 25:59
  Speaker 5: ah is like trying to push even harder and FURTHER
• 26:03
  Speaker 5: because i, don't know MAYBE.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: You're, i mean by, your description you're used to things.
• 26:07
  Speaker 5: Happening, fast yeah it sounds, that way like.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: You used to losing. Weight fast what fifty pounds over?
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: Six months that's like a it's.
• 26:15
  Speaker 6: PRETTY tightly i didn't really.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: Think Pounds from July, to march so that's longer than,
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: six months and.
• 26:25
  Speaker 5: THAT'S fast i feel, LIKE too i, don't know you're
• 26:28
  Speaker 5: the you're the fitness.
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: Going Well, for jesus all things, Are, possible whitney why don't, you, write.
• 26:33
  Speaker 5: Well that's the advice you're.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: Giving, them yeah Convert.
• 26:35
  Speaker 5: To christianity and they signed six, sixty SIX so i
• 26:38
  Speaker 5: think they'll. Accept, that yeah they clearly Read.
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: The bible. You know.
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: THAT'S now i think this is uh, to me this
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: sounds like kind OF an, adhd thing but Also like
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: i'm rereading this? DOES it i don't see where it
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: says how long this person has felt stagnant or like
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: something you, felt progress and like.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: When did it?
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: Feel stagnant because and did this progress just happen like
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: within the last six months? Or so because the other
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: thing you need to, Think, about yeah the other thing
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: we need to think about here too. Is momentum like
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: momentum is, really, Tough ye like it's really hard to get, things,
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: Moving yea and so it feels like it's at a.
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: Glacier pace but after a while then it just becomes
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: second nature and it's no longer, just LIKE well i
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: have to think about, this now it's just part of
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: your day and it's just how. You operate becomes a,
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: lot easier and success. BREED success i think.
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: YOU'RE right i think also there's things in life that can't.
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: Be rushed and this IS something i talk a lot about,
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: in therapy especially in, couples work because there's the sense
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: of like, we're here we're working, on things why isn't it?
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: Getting better and.
• 27:45
  Speaker 5: One of the one year old and you're, Getting married
• 27:46
  Speaker 5: like that's.
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: A lot that's, a lot, you know and like there's
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: so much. Going on but like one of THE things
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: i talked about a lot in couple's therapy is reminding
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: them that like you could put all the ingredients for
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: a cake in, a, bowl right but like time is in.
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: The rest you have to just have that in the
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: oven for a certain amount, of time and that's part
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: of this and you can't. Rush that there is you
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: can't put it the oven at nine hundred degrees and
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: get a cake in, thirty Seconds, right like that's not how.
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: This works so some.
• 28:12
  Speaker 5: Tic, looks Doubtful, doubt, jacob honestly?
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: Can't, you honestly this. Is how this IS how i
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: cooked all. Through college.
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: Half, The, TIME yeah.
• 28:24
  Speaker 5: I was i was sholarious adults CROs and pizza.
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: Before somebody told, me, like hey you don't put every
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: you should never use.
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: High as a setting on the. Stovetop ELECTRIC but i, just,
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: like Oh if i'm Gonna, brown hamburger put it. On
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: high let's. Get going and what are we? Doing this
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: there's not nothing.
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: To, That yeah so.
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: The glaisher pace or glacial pace is, correct SOMETIMES and
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: i think in, mental health especially in, relational health when
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: you're looking at these, invisible changes it takes years of
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: environment and growing up and all the things to create
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: the patterns that we live in and the thinking patterns that,
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: we have and so to deviate from. Those norms it's
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: a lot, of Things, right like it is a daily kind.
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: Of effort there is this pushing against it over and.
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: Over AGAIN but i think the metaphor of like baking
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: a cake or shifting the bend in like a tree branch,
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: or something if you just try to rip it all.
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: At once you rip off, the, Branch right but you
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: can change the shape of a tree or the tilt
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: of a, tree slowly.
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: You know through firm.
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: Applied pressure and the same thing here, with, baking right
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: like you put all the ingredients in, the bowl you
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: don't have, a cake and you toss it and you
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: other and pull.
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: It, back out you don't have.
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: A cake like giving time is. An INGREDIENT and i
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: think that's part of what happens often in therapy is, people,
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: say like it's been, three sessions why haven't we fixed? This,
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: Yet yeah and you have to kind of reassure, THEM like,
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: i mean you're a, little insulted but you're also gonna
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: like let me teach you how. This works and that's
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: THE speech i, usually give is that time is an
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: ingredient in.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: THIS process i have a different way of.
• 29:58
  Speaker 5: SAYING it i was, gonna say let's hear you, next Analogy, like.
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: No it's coming at it from like a drug and,
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: alcohol perspective, you know where, they're like how long is
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: this going, to take, you know for me to feel
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: like normal, And RECOVERY and i have to, explain, like,
• 30:14
  Speaker 3: like dude you have been perfecting this behavior for fifteen
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: years and you've given me.
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: Four, weeks, yeah yeah. Four, hours yeah let's.
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: Let's here it's Gonna, TAKE yeah, i mean people don't.
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: Change easy like everything that, you do you get. Better
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: at and so if whatever your issues were in, the
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: past whether that's like, you know harmful, depressive, thoughts, like
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: yeah you've perfected that because you've done it over and
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: over and. Over again so it's gonna take some time
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: to undo all.
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: Of, that, yes well and even your point about. Substance
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: use like when we teach about, motivational interviewing, we also,
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: I mean i think more advanced, motivational interviewing we teach
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: the students to be careful not to believe in. Drastic
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: change right if somebody dump jumps from pre contemplation to
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: action and, you're, Like oh i'm crushing it, right now
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: they're they're, so invested it's like they. Will regress that's going, to,
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: Happen right like the concrete needs, to dry and people
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: have to kind of pop back and forth between a
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: regression to, the, mean right like going back to their
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: average to the best predicular future. Is passed they have
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: to do that several times on their path forward and
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: like the two, steps forward one step, back model and
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: sometimes stagnation and just sitting in. The space that's, that's
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: correct that's part of.
• 31:35
  Speaker 3: THE process i didn't have a golf analogy until you asked.
• 31:38
  Speaker 5: About, it challenge.
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: Accept Challenge what i've done is called the best. Man setup.
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: So good i'm here to make you look like. A
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: winner it's Like if i'm.
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: Going to do a, swing CHANGE like, i like If
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: some i'm gonna change something fundamental in, MY swing i
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: could just do it quickly and and it won't and it. Won't,
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: stick no, it happened Won't what to really get that,
• 32:02
  Speaker 3: Dialed in you've got to practice it over and over
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: at a slow.
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: Speed until you. Get it that's what. They, like yeah
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: you're no longer. Best man. You up you had a good. Thing,
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: going well you're.
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: The one talking about swing and expecting me not, to, bite,
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: right man, that's right.
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: Honestly right that's.
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: On him the old that's the old parable of the
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: frog and. THE scorpion i don't, know nature are?
• 32:27
  Speaker 5: You?
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: Seriously yeah he.
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: Knows IT what i Don't know the frog or the
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: scorpion needs To get WHITNIE and i are too young
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: to know that we weren't there whenever it was Written.
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: By socrates So maybe i'll tell.
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: You later, BUT no i appreciate your point there that
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: there is this piece that is part of the way,
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: humans change is in, this iterative, incremental process and so
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: to expect it too quickly is inaccurate and. Also WRONG
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: like i fear that sometimes people push, too hard, too
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: fast in a, different direction and ultimately. That's bad, you pervert,
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: you know, come, ON wait i, grow up.
• 33:07
  Speaker 5: You know i'm just here listening for a.
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: Drop of whiskey and then just, This tequila i'll.
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: Do it and then she's just acting like you whiskey,
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: with Tequila, Sober jim so what do.
• 33:20
  Speaker 5: You what do you guys think about touching on The
• 33:25
  Speaker 5: idea it's it's kind, of cliche but that it's in
• 33:29
  Speaker 5: the journey and not in, the DESTINATION because i hear
• 33:32
  Speaker 5: a lot of destination talk, Like gosh i'm moving forward
• 33:35
  Speaker 5: and then backward like there's. An endpoint and it's kind
• 33:37
  Speaker 5: of like all the things you've shared are, a journey,
• 33:41
  Speaker 5: raising kids, a, journey marriage, a journey like these are
• 33:44
  Speaker 5: things that you're going to be working. Your, life yeah
• 33:47
  Speaker 5: there's not an.
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: End point there's not there's not a goal.
• 33:50
  Speaker 5: A journey the.
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: Goal is to just like at the end of the day, Be,
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: like wow that's a nice. Day exactly like that's the
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: only that's the whole goal of of anything that we're, talking,
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: About right like that, She's, LIKE oh i have real
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: a nice day. To, day yeah and then, LIKE tomorrow
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: i hope we do. That AGAIN so i HAVE.
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: A i have a METAPHOR that i think. CAPTURES this
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: i play a lot, of golf as many, people know
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: and like the goal of golf is not to have one, good,
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: swing yeah, you know it's to like keep doing that
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: over and over again the majority of, the time, you
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: know and to really get, in there get in, there deep,
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: you know in like a satisfying shoulder to shoulder kind.
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: Of way you're just an adult woman lives. With.
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: You yeah she didn't marry, me though so like a child.
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: Married me she, was, nineteen right so that kind of. Makes,
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: sense yeah it's NOT like i could get like A,
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: Whole yeah i've got two fucking kids and. A. Mortgage,
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: yeah yeah she just losing if. She walks so at,
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: THIS point.
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: I mean at least get the kids. INTO college. I, guess,
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: yeah yeah that's. The goal that's. The agreement we got.
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: Some time it'll.
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: BE fine i JUST so i.
• 35:05
  Speaker 3: Get, it, YEAH yeah. I, know honestly that's what the.
• 35:08
  Speaker 3: Listeners want they don't want a. GYM interview i think
• 35:11
  Speaker 3: their questions are For. Missus jim we have so.
• 35:16
  Speaker 6: Many questions, number.
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: One what were you thinking that's going?
• 35:22
  Speaker 5: To say can we just write them down and Trust
• 35:24
  Speaker 5: that jim will bring back the right it has like
• 35:29
  Speaker 5: the blacked out shadow.
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: And, all right, WELL jokes i knew that what she really.
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: Sounds like we'll set. THIS up i.
• 35:43
  Speaker 4: Don't know it won't be this coming, week obviously but
• 35:45
  Speaker 4: like one week in, the future we Will tell jim
• 35:50
  Speaker 4: that we're canceling for for one of the three. Of,
• 35:52
  Speaker 4: us yeah any of the three of us will have,
• 35:55
  Speaker 4: a reason and we will secretly record an episode With.
• 35:59
  Speaker 4: Miss jim, yeah, yeah yeah she's on the text.
• 36:02
  Speaker 3: Threat, already anyway everybody's on this.
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: Text thread he doesn't answer my text sometimes to.
• 36:10
  Speaker 5: Fix, something yeah we need.
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: We need my son offered to build, the pool like
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: we got an above, ground POOL and i, was, LIKE
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: ah i was like, So Discouraged, LIKE dad i could just,
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: build This and, I'M like i know how to, Do
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: IT like i can, DO it i just don't. Want to, he's,
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: like okay because it kind.
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: Of seemed like.
• 36:27
  Speaker 5: He's dying you're.
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: PRETTY unsure i could do it for you if. YOU
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: want i don't. Do it. SHUT up i know for
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: SURE that i know how to. Do it and if
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: somebody else said, to, ME hey i could.
• 36:40
  Speaker 4: Do it and be like, fuck yeah, ye please you are.
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: On it you go ahead get.
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: It anyway thank you For writing therapized enough to know
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: better six. Sixty six this is a really, good question.
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: VERY relatable, i AGREE though i think THAT the adhd
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: might be kicking in a, little BIT and i think
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: all of us are kind of giving you that message
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: of time as an ingredient right in practice as part of.
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: The process you don't just skip over all that and
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: get to the. Finish line that's just not how this kind.
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: Of changed if it, ain't broke don't.
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: Fix it also that we're gonna take a, quick break
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: and when we come back we are talking, About, nope
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: nope there, It is nope that. Down help i've become
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: a common version. Of crack you're listening to Pop therapy.
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: Today's episode is brought to You By, jake Schneider, Mil
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: Leah Richard Macy, sonny Boy, Thunder Uger, Falcon, Scoops, Motherfucker,
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: Sanderman Woffle, Elena, Gabriela Dame, adam Warren, b Gay two
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: crimes And Not.
• 37:42
  Speaker 3: Kiara knightley would you like sponse the show become a therap?
• 37:44
  Speaker 3: Pretty sure patreon dot com.
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: Slash therapy, all right we Got Some Mental Health awareness? Month,
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: trivia yeah, ALL right i can finally the wildest things
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: ever published in peer.
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: Review, journals great that's A.
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: Deep, liz okay this is gonna.
• 38:01
  Speaker 4: Be.
• 38:01
  Speaker 3: Tough uh here, We go jacob in two thousand.
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: And eight that only makes SENSE that i should go
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: first with, this category clear. Of course well we'll start
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: with the. pH d.
• 38:10
  Speaker 3: THAT'S right a two thousand and eight study Published in
• 38:14
  Speaker 3: science found that people who briefly held warm cups of
• 38:19
  Speaker 3: coffee rated strangers as having warmer personality than people who
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: held a. Cold cup which university conducted?
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: This? Research question did you say the name of this Publication?
• 38:32
  Speaker 6: Was science THAT'S what i was waiting.
• 38:34
  Speaker 5: For it that's.
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: A journal there's a publication Just, called, yes yes there's
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: another One. Called, penis, no, yes now how do you feel? About?
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: Joke job just? Like it.
• 38:53
  Speaker 3: Every listener checked. Their, phone yes oh did it? Stop
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: playing it did.
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: Not stop.
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: That's the reaction to.
• 39:04
  Speaker 5: That joke that was still we were. ALL recorded.
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: I was the what is the name of?
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: This publication no idea what it, stands for But, it's
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: PENIS and i can't believe.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: They did how is it spelled P n a xxx
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: dot p s dot. Xxx slash give me. Your phone let.
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: Me see you don't want to go on. The journey
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: you not want to go through?
• 39:31
  Speaker 5: My history this is the academic.
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: Search bar.
• 39:35
  Speaker 3: That's where you go on your your. University computer, THAT'S
• 39:38
  Speaker 3: right i be.
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: Very careful THAT'S how i learned that there's also a Publication.
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: CALLED penis i was Like, college penis and it, was,
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: like oh you mean this. RESEARCH nic i, was, like,
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: OH yeah i guess that's kind of. Cool too, All
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: right jacob Is At.
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: Yale UNIVERSITY m I t Stanford or Prince, in oh
• 40:01
  Speaker 3: it's got To, Be.
• 40:01
  Speaker 5: Stanford THAT'S what i was going. TO guess I.
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: Know stanford puts out a lot.
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: Of those it is, an EXPERIMENT but i don't think they're.
• 40:08
  Speaker 4: This one It was Yale psychologist stanford Of the east.
• 40:15
  Speaker 3: As Many john Barr And. Lawrence williams the stranger was
• 40:20
  Speaker 3: was a. Research assistant participants had just met in. The
• 40:23
  Speaker 3: elevator warm cup holders also chose more altruistic rewards.
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: Uh, afterward. Yeah okay you.
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: Know what's interesting about, That research it was actually applied
• 40:35
  Speaker 2: immediately to, criminal justice so. To interrogations that was something
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: they started doing is they would offer the person that
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: maybe have many crimes or that, they're interrogating a warm cup,
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: of coffee and that became standard procedures to, give, them
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: yeah to give them warm hot cocoa cup, of.
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: Coffee tea they.
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: Would insist on a warm drink and then they would
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: do the good cop routine and They would.
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: So they needed study to just do like basic. Human
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: kindness yes.
• 41:03
  Speaker 4: They're, Cops great so they needed it To be proceedings
• 41:08
  Speaker 4: Of The national Academy.
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: Of sciences by, the way it's published By The national Academy.
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: Of sciences.
• 41:16
  Speaker 4: So the the the publication is Just the proceedings Of
• 41:21
  Speaker 4: The national Academy of sciences ABBREVIATED. P, nas boom.
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: Okay boom no one doubted that you, Doubted YOU did
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: i doubt OR did i question? The drop? All right,
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: all right, all right, all, Right.
• 41:39
  Speaker 3: Okay Whitney the, macbeth effect Published in science in two thousand,
• 41:44
  Speaker 3: and six found that after recall a morally, questionable act
• 41:50
  Speaker 3: people showed a strong unconscious preference For what.
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: Scottish eggs they're, so good they.
• 41:59
  Speaker 3: Are, really good affirming their core personal values through moral
• 42:02
  Speaker 3: language b charitable acts they believed would offset their. Recalled
• 42:07
  Speaker 3: behavior see physically distracting themselves from others in, social settings,
• 42:14
  Speaker 3: or sorry physically distancing themselves from others in, social settings
• 42:18
  Speaker 3: or d cleansing products like, soap antiseptic or over other non,
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: cleansing products over non cleansing products of, equal value got?
• 42:30
  Speaker 5: It career question a lot.
• 42:32
  Speaker 3: Of Answers the, macbeth effect Published in science in two thousand,
• 42:36
  Speaker 3: and six found that after recalling a morally, questionable act
• 42:40
  Speaker 3: people showed a strong unconscious preference for.
• 42:43
  Speaker 4: What there is one of THOSE that i, will, say
• 42:47
  Speaker 4: boy that's a great answer for the name of. This
• 42:49
  Speaker 4: thing there's one of Those that i'm going to be
• 42:51
  Speaker 4: really angry if that's the name, of it because it's.
• 42:54
  Speaker 6: Not accurate RED making I know i'm trying.
• 42:56
  Speaker 5: To think, It's, Like oh i've done that show. Several
• 42:59
  Speaker 5: times jacob should have had. This, ONE um i probably.
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: GET it i.
• 43:03
  Speaker 5: DON'T know i can't even remember all, the options.
• 43:06
  Speaker 3: So charitable acts they believed would offset their. Recalled, BEHAVIOR no.
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: I don't THINK it's B. Or c what do you think.
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: IT is i think. IT'S a i hope it's a.
• 43:16
  Speaker 3: Affirming their core personal values through, moral language.
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: Because that one would make a lot.
• 43:21
  Speaker 4: Of sense in the name of The, Thing, macbeth no
• 43:27
  Speaker 4: it is d and that's the one that was going
• 43:30
  Speaker 4: to make, me mad going to be showed a.
• 43:32
  Speaker 3: Strong unconscious preference for. Cleansing product and what is this
• 43:36
  Speaker 3: thing Called the? Macbeth effect that should be Called The lady,
• 43:40
  Speaker 3: macbeth effect Because, In Macbeth Lady, Lady Macbeth lady macbeth is.
• 43:45
  Speaker 3: The one, OH wait i, Don't WAIT am?
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: I wrong don't let? You?
• 43:50
  Speaker 4: Know, no, NO no i, THINK no I think. I'M
• 43:53
  Speaker 4: wrong i think It is macbeth who does the out out.
• 43:56
  Speaker 4: Damn spot there's an out out damned. Spot, Monologue okay
• 44:00
  Speaker 4: and Now that i'm saying it, OUT loud i think
• 44:02
  Speaker 4: It Is. Lord macbeth does that monologue And Not. Lady, macbeth,
• 44:07
  Speaker 4: okay okay but it Might Be. Lady macbeth so they have.
• 44:10
  Speaker 5: A strong they want to use. CLEANING products i am.
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: SO currased I.
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: Thought macbeth had like a huge vault of money and
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: he'd swim.
• 44:17
  Speaker 3: In it.
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: That's, McDuck, AH yeah i would like d. Please, McDuck, Yes,
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: correct yes, All.
• 44:26
  Speaker 3: RIGHT jim a nineteen ninety two paper published in the
• 44:30
  Speaker 3: peer Review Journal social forces argued that a specific genre
• 44:35
  Speaker 3: of popular Music Is lady macbeth was statistically associated with
• 44:40
  Speaker 3: elevated suicide rates in markets where it dominated.
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: Radio, airplay okay? What genre?
• 44:47
  Speaker 3: WAS it a, HEAVY, metal b blues, AND souls c
• 44:52
  Speaker 3: country MUSIC or d?
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: Classic rock this is.
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: Honestly hard The one i'll take off the board is.
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: CLASSIC rock i don't see any coral. WITH that i
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: could see the metal THING because, i think but now you,
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: KNOW what i have to take off, metal TOO because
• 45:05
  Speaker 2: i feel like that's one of. Those things when it,
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: came out because it was so angry, and violent people
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: associated it with like read.
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: The question again if. You would in nineteen.
• 45:13
  Speaker 3: NINETY two a nineteen ninety two published paper published in
• 45:17
  Speaker 3: the peer. Review journal blah, blah blah that's. Not important.
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: UH huh a specific genre of popular music was statistically
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: associated with elevated suicide rates in markets where it dominated.
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: Radio airplay huh.
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: What, GENRE yeah i don't think it's going to be
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: classic ROCK because i don't see that's. Too, UNIVERSAL okay
• 45:36
  Speaker 2: i feel like hard like metal or whatever the year.
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: Was it.
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: There was a TIME when i think people associated that
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: there was like part of the satanic Panic.
• 45:44
  Speaker 5: In.
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: PEO bullshit i don't think that was actually part, of
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: it Because what i've tended to see anecdotally is that
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: people like that that are, into that like rage kind of,
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: energy stuff they're getting, it out AND so i think
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: it's actually more therapeutic.
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: Than it is a cry.
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: For help blues, FEEL sad i feel like that's, a
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: thing and country music feels fucking, Really sad like every
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: goddamn song is something. Bad happened give me, country, music,
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: man yes.
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: Fucking.
• 46:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah oh the effect of country music on suicide that
• 46:15
  Speaker 3: was the title attributed the association of the genre's lyrical
• 46:19
  Speaker 3: themes of, relationship failure, economic despair. And alcohol the research.
• 46:24
  Speaker 3: Was contested country music responded by continuing to write exclusively
• 46:28
  Speaker 3: about all of.
• 46:29
  Speaker 5: Those, things yes nineties country And The.
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: DIXIE chicks i Like The.
• 46:33
  Speaker 3: DIXIE chicks. I, questionicks, YEAH yeah i.
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: QUESTIONED this i would be curious to hear more. About
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: this are you.
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: Calling, Shenanigans no i'm not quite.
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: Calling shenanigans. I'm questioning. I'm questioning.
• 46:45
  Speaker 5: I'm curious i'm.
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: Asking questions, For one i'm wondering about location because country
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: music is more popular in certain areas than, Other areas
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: especially in the. Early nineties it was more of a,
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: line drawn are we and? There was? THERE was i,
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: don't think don't mean.
• 47:06
  Speaker 3: It was it was very local until our hero expanded
• 47:12
  Speaker 3: it Across The.
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: UNITED states, I mean i mean honestly.
• 47:18
  Speaker 2: Trying, To also brooks can break your heart, for You That's.
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: Travis ritt get the.
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: Fun, out no.
• 47:31
  Speaker 6: Don't Question Was billy ray don't break?
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: My heart miley's? DAD'S dad i mean the only the
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: only thing we need for that is we Don't Call
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: Dolly parton. Miley's godmother.
• 47:48
  Speaker 5: That's fair.
• 47:52
  Speaker 4: We were heard of Her As, Dolly, parton yes who
• 47:55
  Speaker 4: happens To be miley's gand?
• 47:58
  Speaker 5: Her, majesty yeah my is her goddaughter the.
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: Great, Pardon uh I'm just i'm nervous the thing he's, still, recording, right,
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: yeah Okay and i'm my.
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: Glasses on i'm looking at HIM like i is?
• 48:11
  Speaker 5: It?
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: Moving?
• 48:11
  Speaker 3: Okay whatever this Is the partner Show where. Jim, Micromanages
• 48:15
  Speaker 3: no it's, Happened, before, LIKE.
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: Hey i can, see this he's not looking.
• 48:21
  Speaker 5: At.
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: It.
• 48:22
  Speaker 2: Whatever help i've become the human version. Of crack i've
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: made a lot of friends over. The years as a
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: twenty eight year, OLD male i, enjoy people and EVERY
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: time i meet, SOMEONE new i want to be their friend. So,
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: Badly sometimes oh.
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: My god this. WASN'T recording i, Told you, oh no. It's.
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: Fine oh sometimes it's definitely BACKFIRED because i had to
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: learn the hard way that not everyone is everyone's cup.
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: Of tea i've misjudged people before and become friends with
• 48:49
  Speaker 2: people who are a little less. Than, desirable however it
• 48:53
  Speaker 2: usually works out great for ME when i meet people who.
• 48:56
  Speaker 2: Are cool now for, more context with THE friends, I
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: have i usually end up picking ONE person i can
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: hang out with who becomes kind of like my best
• 49:05
  Speaker 2: friend of. The time those people rotate in and out
• 49:08
  Speaker 2: with the flow.
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: Of time.
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: And life but what, usually happens and the Only reason
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: i'm saying this is because it has happened more than,
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: five times is that my current friends will begin to
• 49:19
  Speaker 2: argue with the NEW friends. I make i feel like
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: this is my fault BECAUSE maybe i don't give everyone.
• 49:25
  Speaker 2: Enough TIME but i also UNDERSTAND that i can only
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: hang out with as many PEOPLE as i realistically have
• 49:31
  Speaker 2: time for in the weeks, and years along with all
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: the OTHER things i like. To do my childhood best
• 49:37
  Speaker 2: FRIEND and i had a falling OUT when i was
• 49:39
  Speaker 2: around nineteen. Years OLD when i lost the ONLY person
• 49:42
  Speaker 2: i could talk to. ABOUT everything i found myself looking
• 49:45
  Speaker 2: for another person to fill. THAT role i think that
• 49:49
  Speaker 2: is when this really. KICKED off i went out of my,
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: comfort zone learned how to, make friends and got pretty decent.
• 49:55
  Speaker 2: At IT when i talk to my childhood best, friend
• 49:57
  Speaker 2: NOW as i gain and lose friends throughout, my life
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: he refers to THE effect i have on people as
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: me being quote a human version. Of crack, HE says
• 50:06
  Speaker 2: i am so high energy and enjoy laughing and being
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: happy so much that people cling to that part. Of
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: me he also SAYS that i collect friends like toys
• 50:16
  Speaker 2: and then toss them Away when i'm done. WITH them
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: i DON'T believe i do that. AT all i just love.
• 50:21
  Speaker 2: Meeting People when i'm ASKED why i enjoy making new
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: friends and talking to so many, NEW people i always
• 50:27
  Speaker 2: say that there are so many people in. This world
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: they're all living their lives and have stories that are vivid.
• 50:33
  Speaker 2: And insightful caring about another person's life is. SO rewarding
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: i only have one experience, in LIFE and i Enjoy
• 50:41
  Speaker 2: what i've learned. So FAR but i think about how
• 50:44
  Speaker 2: interesting the lives of the people around. Us are someone
• 50:47
  Speaker 2: you're sitting next to, right now or someone you pass
• 50:50
  Speaker 2: on the sidewalk could be living a Version Of john
• 50:53
  Speaker 2: wick's life.
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: And you would.
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: NEVER know i just personally find that my life is
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: better with more, good friends with the more good FRIENDS that,
• 51:02
  Speaker 2: i make and the MORE experiences i get to learn
• 51:05
  Speaker 2: from outside of. My, OWN now i am not always,
• 51:08
  Speaker 2: super happy and it's weird for people to see me upset.
• 51:11
  Speaker 2: Or sad i've been going to therapy for, three YEARS
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: and i work really hard to have control over. My
• 51:17
  Speaker 2: Emotions when, I'M happy i FEEL like i can. Do
• 51:20
  Speaker 2: anything But when, I'M sad i feel the weight of
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: the world. On Me when, I'M anxious i FEEL like
• 51:25
  Speaker 2: i couldn't chew gum and walk at the. Same time
• 51:28
  Speaker 2: it's always very awkward WHEN people i was close and
• 51:31
  Speaker 2: begin to. Act aggressive it's always very awkward WHEN people
• 51:35
  Speaker 2: i was close with begin to act aggressively possessive. Of
• 51:39
  Speaker 2: ME then i have to have several hard conversations About
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: how i'm deciding to spend more time with someone else
• 51:46
  Speaker 2: And how i'm sorry that it affects them in such.
• 51:49
  Speaker 2: A way i feel bad when, that happens and it
• 51:51
  Speaker 2: usually ends with us. DRIFTING apart i know making friends is,
• 51:55
  Speaker 2: high risk, high reward but my friend's words have really
• 51:58
  Speaker 2: stuck with me through. THE years i enjoy different HOBBIES
• 52:01
  Speaker 2: and i pick them up and drop THEM when i
• 52:03
  Speaker 2: get tired.
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: Of them I'M scared i.
• 52:04
  Speaker 2: May be doing that unintentionally to the people. As WELL
• 52:08
  Speaker 2: before i end, THIS letter i wanted to say thank
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: you to all four.
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: Of you i've been.
• 52:13
  Speaker 2: Listening on and off since twenty. Twenty one BACK when
• 52:15
  Speaker 2: i was working in, lawn care was by myself. FERTILIZING
• 52:18
  Speaker 2: lawns i was alone for nine or ten hours, a
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: DAY and i found your PODCAST when i couldn't stand
• 52:24
  Speaker 2: listening to music or my own. Thoughts anymore i've learned
• 52:28
  Speaker 2: so much from you guys and laughed out loud more
• 52:30
  Speaker 2: TIMES than i. Can count you all helped me through
• 52:32
  Speaker 2: my little brother's failed. Suicide attempt he's usually really good
• 52:37
  Speaker 2: at everything, he does so you can guess HOW happy
• 52:39
  Speaker 2: i was that he screwed that one UP and i
• 52:41
  Speaker 2: was able to get him and my mother into therapy
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: through THE information i learned from you guys and the
• 52:47
  Speaker 2: experiences of all the therapals and. Therap producers Picking up
• 52:51
  Speaker 2: whitney was a great SURPRISE when i was listening on
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: and off throughout. The Years Last Mental Health, AWARENESS month
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: i became a therapal AND once i get pass my,
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: social anxiety believe it, OR not i will talk. On
• 53:03
  Speaker 2: DISCORD once i graduate School in october with my. BACHELOR'S
• 53:07
  Speaker 2: degree i would really like to up that as a reward.
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: To myself thank you for everything you, all do, You guys.
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: Rock signed it's a. Sweet letter oh, my goodness it was.
• 53:19
  Speaker 3: Really, nice yeah and please write, back AGAIN, because, i
• 53:25
  Speaker 3: uh you know, your story, you know listening to us
• 53:28
  Speaker 3: while doing lawn care and it just kind of reminded
• 53:30
  Speaker 3: Me that i've got this dead patch in my LAWN
• 53:32
  Speaker 3: and i can't seem to, get IT and i don't
• 53:35
  Speaker 3: Know if i'm Not if i'm not using the Right
• 53:36
  Speaker 3: fertilized you don't poop on?
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: Your lawn are you guys pooping on? Your?
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: Lawns reason my law is, So green my, laun's plastic so.
• 53:45
  Speaker 2: IT'S weird i don't do.
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: That anymore it, does faith. It doesn't it doesn't keep.
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: A green love of.
• 53:51
  Speaker 3: The game whitney doesn't keep, a green but it keeps,
• 53:54
  Speaker 3: it shiny and it keeps the kids off.
• 53:57
  Speaker 2: Of it get off all the piles of.
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: Human ship yeah they don't. Like, it yeah why still
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: making Me st get out. OF here i work hard for,
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: this family. All, ideas yeah this is a really. GOOD
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: question i like this. A lot what was the question
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: about us? Being awesome? That's all, that's, all folks blah,
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: blah blah.
• 54:31
  Speaker 5: That was.
• 54:31
  Speaker 2: THE question i work on a human version, of crack
• 54:36
  Speaker 2: making it right so quickly, and naturally and people telling, you,
• 54:40
  Speaker 2: like hey you're almost too good, at that and you're
• 54:43
  Speaker 2: like seductive and charming and charismatic, and fun but you
• 54:46
  Speaker 2: don't really invest in, your friendships you just. Move on
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: they're like toys. To you and the, writer, says like
• 54:50
  Speaker 2: that's not ACTUALLY how. I feel i just really like
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: people and Relationships and i'm fascinated, With people so that's.
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: All real i'm not lying to Them and i'm.
• 54:58
  Speaker 2: Misleading them i'm Just, on lee super psyched. About it
• 55:02
  Speaker 2: but perhaps that's an. Interesting dynamic so what's.
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: The, PROBLEM well, I mean i guess THAT'S what i kept.
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: Waiting for was?
• 55:10
  Speaker 5: The problem Maybe, THEY yeah. I guess was there like a? Final,
• 55:15
  Speaker 5: question well.
• 55:15
  Speaker 2: It's just asking us for perspective, on IT says i
• 55:18
  Speaker 2: know making friends is, high risk, high reward but my
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: friend's Words that i'm just a human version of crack
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: have really stuck. WITH me i. ENJOY hobbies i picked
• 55:26
  Speaker 2: them UP and i dropped THEM when i get tired.
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: Of them i'm Scared that i'm doing that to THE
• 55:30
  Speaker 2: people i.
• 55:30
  Speaker 3: Care, ABOUT yeah, i mean it seems like all of
• 55:32
  Speaker 3: this kind of originated from some feedback that a. Friend
• 55:35
  Speaker 3: gave it's, just, like hey you just kind to throw,
• 55:37
  Speaker 3: people away.
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: All RIGHT which i think is.
• 55:39
  Speaker 2: Real feedback if other friends, are, LIKE hey i guess
• 55:42
  Speaker 2: like really connected to you and you moved on and
• 55:45
  Speaker 2: like that.
• 55:45
  Speaker 5: Feels, strange well there's TWO things i picked up. From
• 55:48
  Speaker 5: this the first one is a little. Bit smaller they mentioned,
• 55:51
  Speaker 5: mixing FRIENDS and i feel like we just spoke about,
• 55:53
  Speaker 5: this RECENTLY but i feel like that's a. Little risky sometimes,
• 55:58
  Speaker 5: you're like it sounds like maybe to save time because
• 56:02
  Speaker 5: you're spread a little, bit thin and maybe, you're, like
• 56:04
  Speaker 5: oh instead of having to do this with, this friend
• 56:06
  Speaker 5: this with, this friend this with, this friend maybe we
• 56:09
  Speaker 5: can all go hang out at the.
• 56:11
  Speaker 4: Bar together my friend GROUP'S Mingle i every now And
• 56:14
  Speaker 4: then i'll see like some friends meeting other Friends where, i'm, like, yeah.
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: This let's see how. This.
• 56:20
  Speaker 5: GOES yeah i was gonna ASK because i, Feel, like
• 56:23
  Speaker 5: jacob you have a very diverse group, of friends AND
• 56:25
  Speaker 5: you're i mean compared to. These two, sorry GUYS but
• 56:28
  Speaker 5: i feel like you guys. Not DIVERSE but i just
• 56:31
  Speaker 5: feel like you don't have very. Many friends. Are golfers
• 56:34
  Speaker 5: you don't, Have friends, THAT'S true. I don't you just
• 56:37
  Speaker 5: have your, golfing friends, AND like i don't know who
• 56:39
  Speaker 5: You're frit.
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: So we can. Hire friends going.
• 56:43
  Speaker 3: Pretty great we set a cap at the wedding and
• 56:46
  Speaker 3: we're like we got to stay below this number and
• 56:48
  Speaker 3: then we make we got to the end of the
• 56:49
  Speaker 3: list and, we're like we still have like twenty spots.
• 56:52
  Speaker 3: Left play who else can we invite to?
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: This?
• 56:57
  Speaker 6: Thing up THAT'S what. I, mean yeah from MY space
• 57:05
  Speaker 6: a plus one.
• 57:07
  Speaker 5: There, it is you KNOW what? I, mean like you got.
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: A flower girl if you.
• 57:10
  Speaker 5: Need one jacob has, A lot i imagine has a
• 57:14
  Speaker 5: lot of different, friend groups AND so i could. Be
• 57:16
  Speaker 5: wrong you can talk. To THEM and i always wonder
• 57:18
  Speaker 5: that because you're you and estre like. Really associable you
• 57:22
  Speaker 5: have people over to your house you, Host often like
• 57:25
  Speaker 5: what is that like for? You GUYS because i FEEL
• 57:27
  Speaker 5: like i have, Some perspective i'll share, a Minute but
• 57:30
  Speaker 5: i'm very curious how you like approach that it's your.
• 57:33
  Speaker 5: Friend group, you like we're Having A memorial? Day party
• 57:38
  Speaker 5: who are you? Invite everyone you're, just like, all right
• 57:40
  Speaker 5: open invite if. You want THAT'S what i imagine.
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: YOU'RE doing i love going to.
• 57:45
  Speaker 2: JACOB soarees i believe that's what you.
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: CALL them i do often use The.
• 57:49
  Speaker 2: TERM suarez i Love that i'll go. To these you
• 57:54
  Speaker 2: never know who you're going to Meet at. Jacob's house
• 57:56
  Speaker 2: you'll be talking to a, Professional podcaster you'll be talking
• 57:59
  Speaker 2: to somebody who is like a. Political expert you'll be
• 58:01
  Speaker 2: talking to this other person who literally is, In circuase
• 58:04
  Speaker 2: like it's.
• 58:05
  Speaker 6: Just it it's.
• 58:06
  Speaker 2: The wildest sometimes you just never know who you're going.
• 58:08
  Speaker 2: To MEET and i just love, Those CONVERSATIONS like, i
• 58:10
  Speaker 2: remember but like what.
• 58:11
  Speaker 5: If they weren't cool people and it was just random
• 58:13
  Speaker 5: PEOPLE like i don't know people he went to college with?
• 58:16
  Speaker 5: Are there and people like from childhood and like?
• 58:19
  Speaker 4: No, DANGEROUS yeah I mean i don't how would that.
• 58:23
  Speaker 4: EVEN happen i don't like. Doing that people like my
• 58:26
  Speaker 4: friends be coming with me to like a high. School,
• 58:28
  Speaker 4: reunion yeah well.
• 58:30
  Speaker 5: Here's, My thing like maybe not a High school like
• 58:33
  Speaker 5: are you not friends with like good friends with friends from?
• 58:36
  Speaker 5: High SCHOOL still i? Not, Especially, no okay well then
• 58:40
  Speaker 5: that might be a little. Bit DIFFERENT so.
• 58:42
  Speaker 4: I MEAN like i have friends from, high school but
• 58:44
  Speaker 4: no ONE that i keep in like. SO contact i
• 58:46
  Speaker 4: can relate.
• 58:47
  Speaker 2: To this i've crossed pollinated friendships and it's never.
• 58:50
  Speaker 1: WORKED out i.
• 58:51
  Speaker 5: FEEL like i can relate to the writer. A, Lot
• 58:53
  Speaker 5: yeah That's what i'm about to.
• 58:54
  Speaker 1: Dive INTO and i have one That, involves Nick and
• 58:56
  Speaker 1: i've told the. STORY before i have one That involves
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: nick that's. Burns OUT maybe i just don't get along With,
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: OTHER peter i have a.
• 59:04
  Speaker 5: FUNNY one i feel.
• 59:07
  Speaker 2: Like everybody feels safe inviting you to the cross pollination
• 59:10
  Speaker 2: because it's like it'll.
• 59:10
  Speaker 1: Be fine nikol.
• 59:11
  Speaker 2: Be finet anybody chat enough that he, makes conversation but, he's,
• 59:15
  Speaker 2: not like, you know going Out of i'm confused by.
• 59:17
  Speaker 5: THE question I guess, i'm wondering is there ever any
• 59:20
  Speaker 5: weird moments with people you invite to? These groups but
• 59:23
  Speaker 5: it sounds like from, you know to kind of describing
• 59:26
  Speaker 5: these are the people that Are at. Jacob's parties those
• 59:28
  Speaker 5: are pretty. LIKE outgoing i wouldn't, say outgoing BUT like.
• 59:32
  Speaker 2: I feel like the three therapists in this room are
• 59:33
  Speaker 2: one end of his spectrum and we've integrated like.
• 59:37
  Speaker 1: His, FRIEND no.
• 59:39
  Speaker 4: I wouldn't i wouldn't put you guys at the end
• 59:40
  Speaker 4: of that spectrum. At All, is no they're like much
• 59:44
  Speaker 4: more socially awkward people that were friends with than like
• 59:48
  Speaker 4: you guys.
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: OR whatever i thought he was going, To say we're
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: not on the. Spectrum US.
• 59:58
  Speaker 4: Like i just kind of assumed that all of the
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 4: adults will handle themselves, like adults and like if they
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 4: don't get along or they don't share beliefs, or whatever,
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 4: and like, all right so y'all consider to talk about it.
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: Or don't i've had this blow up in.
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 2: My face so there's a group of PEOPLE that i
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 2: grew up with that Call. Me jimmy and so like
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 2: a lot of LIKE who i am as a person
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 2: defines like these different groups, of people like family AND
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 2: people i grew up with Call. Me jimmy and then
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 2: there's this break into, my adulthood which is a very
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 2: specific sphere of.
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 1: MY adulthood I. BECAME jim i never Went, by james
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 1: so he now Goes.
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 4: By jimjams it's a, SOFT jack.
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 1: I think you, said seriously Going.
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 2: With jim so this has. Actually happened, I'm sorry. I'm
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 2: sorry it's. Put out the sea. Is silent so this
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 2: has happened to nickname. Multiple times one of the times
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 2: that happened we Were at big five, and uh do you? Remember,
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 2: this yeah But It's. Big five it's a Sports. Good,
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 2: Okay yeah so, We're there i'm with. The kids we're
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 2: going To like Wet and wild or something. Like that
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 2: we're getting like sun hats or something like that. In,
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 2: Sunshirt no i'm with. My kids And then nick wanders
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 2: in and, he's, Like, oh jim what are, you. Doing
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 2: Buddy and, I'm, like oh these are, my Kids and, i'm,
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 2: like kids this is so at the time. Were kids
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 2: we had. No podcasts this is. So awkward so we had.
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 2: NO podcasts I knew nick as just another therapist in.
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 2: The community we had worked together. Pre, podcast yeah this,
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 2: pre podcast we were working At. West care AND then
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 2: I don't i don't even think we were Working AT.
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 2: Las fag maybe we did Work At last Face.
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 1: Or, COVERY yeah i think.
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 2: We do this is a very beginning of us Working
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 2: At Last Faces. Cover CENTER so i Would see nick
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 2: for like half. My week i'd go to him for
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 2: like two days and work at the program that, he
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 2: RAN and i was just the therapist on staff under.
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 2: His leadership so he's kind of. My supervisor and so
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 2: Here comes nick is kind of, my Boss and, i'm, like, Oh,
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 2: hey nick it's nice to. Meet you and, he's, like
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 2: oh these. Your kids, i'm, like yeah these are. My
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 2: kids and this is, my therapist grown up co worker
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 2: guy who's my boss and, Then uh laura walks in right,
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 2: behind him and, She goes, jimmy jobin what are you?
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 2: Doing here, I'm, like laura it's so good to. See
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 2: You and, the's like what?
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 1: The fuck this.
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 5: Was how you found out each other at.
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 6: Pig Five, so laura, he goes Who?
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: Is jimmy oh.
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 2: This Is gold oh, my gosh Like that's jimmy jobin
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 2: Everybody Knows jimmy job and, he's like.
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: It's jim who the Fuck? IS jimmy i believe.
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 2: It's pronounced and this was the moment he figured Out
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 2: that LAURA and i grew. Up together, i'm like oh,
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 2: my god that's, So FUNNY like i grew up.
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 1: With her we've known this in. Middle school so this
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: happened AGAIN whenever i had a house party either. People
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: wondering it's been. Asked, Before yes Jim and laura. Did, handstuff,
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: yeah yeah over. The loos we. Were kids we didn't
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 1: know what we. Were doing, you know it's.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 2: So funny it's JUST like i think back to Like
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 2: THE laura i knew in middle school the only way
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 2: to learn she was. So funny i'd love to compare
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 2: notes to Like, the laura, you know as an adult
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 2: BECAUSE when i, SEE her i still think of like
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 2: little Middle.
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 1: School laura like she was the. Middle school. THAT'S true
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 1: i compare everybody to. Middle school that's just.
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 2: She is, a, hot supple nineteen.
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 1: Year old he is. My aphrodite i'm, just like you've got.
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 1: HIM up i always think, about.
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 2: It so years are not that many. Years LATER but
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 2: i had a pool table at my HOUSE and i
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 2: was hosting this big, house PARTY and i think we're
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 2: doing like a big backyard bonfire and. Hanging OUT and
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 2: i invited like my fantasy football friends and just a bunch.
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 2: Of PALS and I invited NICK because i, WAS like
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 2: i think you'll get along with a lot of, my
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 2: Friends like eddie lives the golf and he's my, college
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 2: roommate my, oldest friend and a lot of these guys grew.
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 1: Up with and so here. We are.
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 2: Nick's there nick is my, supervisor again he's still, my
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 2: boss and he's, like there he's getting along. REALLY great
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 2: i think it was a.
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 1: Fight night? Was it was it a fight NIGHT that i. Was,
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 1: hosting yeah it WAS a ufc.
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 2: Fight night it was like some big MATCHUP and i
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 2: bought it on pay per view and we did a
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 2: whole night. Of it we, shot pool we did the
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 2: thing in, the backyard we had the big. FIGHT night
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 2: i had a. Full house it was a lot. Of
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 2: FUN so i invited pretty MUCH everybody, i knew because
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 2: when you pay for a pay, per view you want
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 2: to like fucking fill up. The HOUSE so i Bring.
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 2: Over nick It's. Just nick he's getting along great. With everybody,
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 2: And uh i'm in this, weird balance Right because i'll
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 2: walk to, you know two paces to, my Right and
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 2: i'm with Guys that i've known since i was, a,
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 2: child right and so like we have, certain jokes we
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 2: have a. CERTAIN vibe i take two steps to. My
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 2: left this is my first coworker friend as, a therapist
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 2: who's kind of, my supervisor and we are hanging out
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 2: socially the most we've ever. Done before this has got
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 2: lunch and like that was a, big, Step Right and
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 2: nick will. Show up, you know You, Invite nick he'll
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 2: show up as long as, free food free pay per view.
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 1: Free food he was in.
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 2: You KNOW so i remember being so humiliated in Front
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 2: of Nick because we're Chatting and i'm like trying to
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 2: behave like a grown up in front of my like,
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 2: professional FRIEND and, I like i think i'd even warn
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 2: some of, my FRIENDS like i have a, coworker coming,
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 2: so like knock off, your bullshit don't do. Anything embarrassing
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 2: and my buddy gets drunk and he just fucking bends
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 2: me over the pool table and just dry. Humps me
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 2: and he's like got my head pinned down with his entire,
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 2: fucking forearms got my, neck down and he's just going,
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 2: to town like just having his WAY because I think
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 2: i lost in the, pool game and, they're, like whoa
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 2: he just mounts me right in.
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: Front of, the Neck and, i'm like? Why this those are,
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 1: the rules the rules we were playing for. Dry humps
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 1: This was this was the exact Moment where jim's son
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 1: became the man of. The, house, yeah, YEAH yeah i
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 1: handed my pool the. FIRST pool, i said my.
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 5: Honor son i'm so disappointed.
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: Against. His son it was the son who was playing
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 1: against his son dry humped him into submissious in.
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 2: A submission, so yeah to, Your, question whitney cross pollinating the,
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 2: friendship groups especially with co workers when you don't work
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 2: in like, a field that's a little bit more like Artistic.
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 1: Now i'm thinking, ABOUT it. I don't i don't experience
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 1: this at my parties because at my parties at, my
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 1: souarees BECAUSE because, I do I just i dump everybody.
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 4: Into it and like the only common nominator is that. We're,
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 4: friends yeah and like it's friends OF ME R s j,
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 4: and like, so yeah we. GOT it i have been
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 4: the other. One, though okay you're TALKING about ufc pay.
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 4: PER views i used to go when when we lived
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 4: Outside Of.
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 5: San francisco that really brings a diverse. GROUP too i
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 5: feel like people from all over will go.
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: On this is the thing is so like when we,
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 1: lived there a friend of ours was married to, a
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 1: well he Was a. Stanford professor he was one he
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 1: was like a like a genetic Researcher. At stanford like
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 1: he was a big fucking Deal. At, stanford, yeah okay like. Multiple.
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 4: PhDs uh i think he WENT for i think he
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 4: Worked at harvard for a while and then Back at stanford, and,
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 4: like yeah he's he's a big. Fucking deal and so
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 4: like he would invite me and like a couple of
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 4: other theater buddies that were like friends of his wife
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 4: to come watch the pay. Per views but it was
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 4: like me and this other dude that was like a,
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 4: theater kid and Then like. Stanford professors yeah. And yeah
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 4: we we were like we had a great time and everybody,
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 4: liked us but we were definitely like yeah.
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 5: The, yeah no my funny Story. With nick uh, YOU
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 5: know i, feel like you Know what i'm going, to
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 5: say did.
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 1: Your friend dry humpy in Friend?
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 2: Of?
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 5: Nick, no no your son didn't. Try humping it wasn't.
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 1: My, son okay establishing, this happened but he was. LIKE
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 1: four i didn't say how old. HE was i just said. It,
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 1: happened no established dominancen't.
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 5: FEEL like i can't remember where. We were it was
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 5: our HOUSE or i feel like we invited you guys.
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 5: To there maybe it was a pay per VIEW thing i.
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 5: Sweet on but it was at someone's house with, a
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 5: POOL and I remember Nick.
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 1: AND laura i can't have to have, a pool? Didn't?
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 5: You nick not talking?
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 6: ABOUT next i feel.
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 5: But we were all hanging OUT and i thought it.
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 5: Went well and then we meet up with this, friend again,
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 5: YOU know i, don't know some, weeks later and they
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 5: WERE like I think, i'd Mentioned like Peter mentioned nick and,
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 5: he's like, Oh, Yeah nick because like We love Nick
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 5: and Lauren and Peter and nick connect. Really well, THEY'RE
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 5: like i, don't know it's that, dark humor that, dry,
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 5: humor whatever and.
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 1: They both really. Like docking they connect. So well literally
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 1: safe search off.
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 5: That later like with the other thing you'll made, ME google.
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 1: I, don't know, waffle stomping, lemon party there's so.
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 2: MANY things i feel like over, the years he's growing.
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 4: Rusty trombone cookie THAT.
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 5: Looked i did already got. A okay so then later
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 5: we're like telling, her buddy like we're doing whatever With
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 5: like Nick or Nick and lauren and, he's Like? Who's
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 5: nick and, we're, like oh he came to you know
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 5: your party goes oh that?
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 6: Boring Guy and PETER and i were like? How dare,
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 6: like no that is? Not true like, WE were i Mean.
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 1: The iowa guy, wearing Flannel.
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 6: But nick talking.
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 3: About corn that guy kept bringing up golf in a
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 3: very unrelated ways in defense two dollars a bushel, back
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 3: guy defense of.
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 1: This person I've seen nick.
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 6: Be boring he just didn't talk.
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 5: To anyone he just sees it all.
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 6: The time THAT'S when I.
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 5: Realized nick is the one on. One guy maybe, People,
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 5: GROUPS yeah i, was, like, oh okay that's.
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 3: Definitely true that even At, scoop Fest like i'll find
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 3: my my little little group and.
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 1: You do pretty good. With.
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 5: That, yeah NO but i FEEL like i can relate
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 5: to this. Writer overall if You watched My, WITH emma
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 5: I think i.
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 2: DID fast i. DID not i. LOVED it i.
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 5: DIDN'T either i FEEL like i mentioned this and part
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 5: of my INTERVIEW where i think people are. So unique
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 5: it's part a little a big part of what brought
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 5: me into therapy IS because i feel like everyone has
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 5: a story, to Tell and i'm just so fascinated by
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 5: people's lives and where they. Come FROM so i will
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 5: talk to a stranger on like the bus, or WHATEVER
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 5: like i Kind of i'm. Just curious, i'm, like ooh.
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 5: What's Up if i'm out, IN public i hate being
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 5: on my Phone when i'm waiting in line or things,
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 5: like that or at the, Doctor's office i'd rather sit
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 5: there and just stare at, a WALL or i guess
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 5: be Approachable because, I'M like i Feel like i'm in.
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 5: THE world i want to be in, the world and,
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 5: so ANYWAY so i FEEL like i can relate to
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 5: this writer in, that SENSE and, i actually very very
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 5: recently had kind of a little falling out with, a
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 5: friend a, little tiff, and ACTUALLY and I hope laura's
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 5: okay with me sharing some, Of THIS but i was
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 5: Talking with laura about this past weekend and she gave
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 5: me some really good as, she said, it's fine nobody
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 5: gave me some really. Good insight and she didn't say
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 5: exactly what this writer's, friend said but she basically, Pointed out,
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 5: she's like you are friends with a lot, of people
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 5: and so you are. Spread thin, she said this other
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 5: friend of yours might have had their feelings hurt because
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 5: they have, few friends and you are one of those.
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 5: Few friends and they are putting a lot of effort
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 5: into this and a lot, of, time energy. Et cetera
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 5: and so when they don't receive the, same back it's
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 5: kind of like the. Love languages You think i'm pouring into,
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 5: this cup but you're not giving me back. The same
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 5: AND so i, was, LIKE man i that. IS true
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 5: i have not exactly thought. About that actually called, and spoke,
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 5: you know later that weekend with a childhood friend of
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 5: mine who we've gone through tons of ups, and downs
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 5: and she was very honest with. Me too, she's, like
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 5: yeah there was like a time you know we're in
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 5: you're like going through, life changes all. This stuff you're making.
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 5: New friends, she's like, and, probably yeah you were not
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 5: like a great friend to the people that you were
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 5: really close with at one point because you're. Branching out
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 5: you're like you're spreading. Thin again, she's like but that
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 5: doesn't mean you're not a good friend and you aren't.
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 5: Trying now, and like so when the, writer, says hey
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 5: HOW do i HOW do i manage this or WHAT
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 5: do i do? WITH this i think from my own very,
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 5: recent experiences is like you may have to kind of.
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 5: Whittle down and with, APPROACHING forty i feel like these
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 5: are things we kind of pay attention, to more Where
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 5: before i'd, be, like yeah, you know, MY twenties i
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 5: want to know all the people. Were traveling You become
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 5: facebook friends with someone you met on, a plane and
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 5: you're still friends with like friends, with them, you know twenty.
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 5: Years later all of that is kind of like that's
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 5: not as important as. Important anymore it's more WHO do
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 5: i want to spend? Time WITH what i WHO do
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 5: i want to spend energy Putting into, and like you're
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 5: busy you, have work you have things. Going on there's
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 5: just not a lot of. Energy left and maybe you're not, there,
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 5: yet writer because you are still, pretty young you have
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 5: a lot. Of energy it sounds like you're still exploring
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 5: like a lot of. Different friendships but that might be
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 5: something to. Think about you.
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 2: Bring up a really, good POINT and i feel like
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 2: this actually lines up what the writer's, talking, about, right
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 2: BECAUSE like i think a lot, of times what makes
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 2: a friendship happen is the way a person makes another
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 2: person feel, about themselves like the interest that you show,
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 2: in them that the fascination that. You have and when
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 2: you're like the writer or, LIKE you i feel like
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 2: there's this nature, of, Like no i'm not faking.
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 1: This shit i'm.
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 2: GENUINELY curious i find you Interesting and i'm bringing all
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 2: this interesting energy at YOU because i really. Like you
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 2: and that's great for, The bond but then for the
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 2: person who also cares, about you for these, other friends
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 2: they're looking at the side and, they're, like, oh so
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 2: like that's your, new, toy right it's the new thing that.
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 2: Fascinates you i've been in your life all, this time
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 2: And like i'm being, Left behind and of course you're
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 2: looking at them, like.
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, no no we, have differentemics like.
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 2: All of you matter, to me but like there's not
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 2: this sense of EXCLUSIVITY that i need to like not
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 2: meet anybody new and have other friends because all the needs.
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 2: Are met, LIKE no I just i'm a, renaissance, WOMAN
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 2: right i just find.
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 1: PEOPLE fascinating i want.
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 5: To meet people renaissance woman, that's, me.
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 1: Yes or human cocaine as the writer. Talks ABOUT so
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 1: i do think that there's something.
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 5: TO that i don't when you're an attractive Personality and
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 5: i'm not to that level. THAT this i Don't think i'm.
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 5: Human CRACK but i know people that are. Like that
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 5: they're super high energy and they are like. Magnets almost
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 5: people want to be.
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 6: Around them, Oh yeah.
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 5: And if you if that person is giving back, to
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 5: you it's almost like it is. Like crack, you're like oh,
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 5: my god they gave, me attention like we're, besties now
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 5: but you're, just, Like nope you're who have cut imported
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 5: to you? RIGHT now i.
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 2: DON'T know i mean you you BROUGHT the i think
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 2: you'd use the word extroverted and talked about yourself being and.
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 2: THAT'S true i think, you're extroverted And, LIKE nick i think.
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 2: IS ambivert i consider you. AN ambivert i mean you
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 2: have an, international podcast, you know with tens.
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 1: Of listeners and when it goes near, a school there's
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 1: often an amber alert there and.
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 2: That RHYMES but i do think that your default posture
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 2: is you would like to just kind of be off
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 2: to the side and. That'll happen, BUT no i do
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 2: think there's something. To THAT like i think when extroverts
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 2: bond to introverts sometimes.
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 1: NOT always i.
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 2: Think the introvert can have the sense, of, like oh
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 2: this is great because they tend to think of relationships
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 2: as one on one and, so like this, IS awesome
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 2: i love the energy you bring it me we're, really
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 2: close and the, extroverts, like yeah this is, fun TOO
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 2: and i want to go meet all these, fun, people
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 2: right and so like there's like this dance that, goes
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 2: ON and i think sometimes people like just lose perspective.
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 1: On THAT so i agree. WITH you i don't have
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 1: the writer's doing anything.
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 2: WRONG here, I no.
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 3: I mean i kind Of wish i'm a little jealous of,
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 3: the WRITER unless I wish i had a little bit
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 3: more of that. In me, you know because they're saying
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 3: there's so many, amazing People and, i'm, thinking like there's
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 3: eight billion people on, the planet and about eight billion
• 1:16:05
  Speaker 3: of them are, inconsiderate drivers.
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 6: So they don't put their shopping and they don't put their.
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 1: SHOPPING cud.
• 1:16:14
  Speaker 2: I did that at his, request. Again fertilizer that was. A,
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 2: DONATION yeah i. Don't know my poop is, highly nitrited
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 2: so it's good for.
• 1:16:23
  Speaker 5: You.
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 2: ANYWAY writer i don't know that you're doing anything, wrong
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 2: HERE but i do think you have something to, think
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 2: ABOUT because i do think there's there's validity to people
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 2: in your life telling you what kind of friendship they want,
• 1:16:38
  Speaker 2: from you and maybe we need that's something you do
• 1:16:40
  Speaker 2: relate TO because i feel like if a friend comes
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 2: to you, and, SAYS look I guess i have no
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 2: opinion about you having, other friends and like you get
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 2: along with people and you're extroverted and that's all. Really
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 2: COOL but i esteem our friendship at a certain level
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 2: and for me to feel like, it's reciprocated here's THE
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 2: energy i need you to bring. To me that doesn't,
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 2: require exclusivity but it. Requires attention so if you move
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 2: on too quickly and you go find ten. Other friends
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 2: that doesn't work for. MY friendship i think that's FAIR
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 2: and i think if somebody's communicating that, to you then
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 2: you have, To, go okay well, Thank YOU like i
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 2: do VALUE and i do need to know what you
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 2: need for us to be continue.
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 5: Being. Friends yea like the most, RECENT thing i have
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 5: a kind of newer friend like peer who was wanting to,
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 5: start Running and, i'm, LIKE oh i want to start.
• 1:17:28
  Speaker 5: Running too so twice a week now in, the mornings
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 5: they chase you with. Their, car no we, Like running jim.
• 1:17:33
  Speaker 5: Not chased and so at like, six am we meet
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 5: up to. Go run and so she took a picture
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 5: the other day and sent me The pict, SHE'S like
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 5: i need to. Document THIS so i sent it to my.
• 1:17:45
  Speaker 5: Childhood friend, she was you can have, other friends, but
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 5: like don't forget. About me like, it's, like okay it's like.
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 5: It's true she's just my. Running buddy. We're good, but
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 5: yeah That's where, i'm, Like yeah i'll meet you up and.
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 5: Go run and now we're like doing the running thing
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 5: and like now. We're friends, it's fine but it's.
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 2: Just different it's cute when you have to have like
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 2: a conversation about, like hey, just say, you.
• 1:18:07
  Speaker 1: Know they're only my running but like you're My best
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 1: like that's how.
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 2: THAT works i keep waiting for that to happen in
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 2: my daughter's life because like she's in that like fifth.
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 2: Grade zone she's going to middle school where it's like
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 2: she has all these best friends and they make bracelets
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 2: and they make like best, friends bracelets and she gave
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 2: one to a FRIEND and i, was like.
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 1: Oh damn like it wasn't this. Other friend she gave
• 1:18:30
  Speaker 1: the best. Friend BRACELET so i went to my.
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 2: Wife, to explain like how like childhood. Girl RELATIONSHIPS and i,
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 2: was like what is the deal? With this she is
• 1:18:38
  Speaker 2: a hot Supple Nineteen Oh, jesus christ thank you for.
• 1:18:41
  Speaker 1: Playing THAT so i, was like WHAT is i.
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 5: Think still show us to play?
• 1:18:48
  Speaker 1: This game clause we shouldn't have, signed. It, Honestly.
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 2: Anyway she's explained to, me that like that's, it's fine
• 1:19:00
  Speaker 2: and they're still, all friends like just this one likes bracelets.
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 5: Or. Whatever, yeah no my CHILDHOOD that i was talking
• 1:19:07
  Speaker 5: about we met in like fourth or, fifth grade and
• 1:19:09
  Speaker 5: we were a whole group, of girls and this is
• 1:19:11
  Speaker 5: just who it's whittled down to, you know over, a
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 5: time it's like me and her and one other girl
• 1:19:16
  Speaker 5: kind of pops in and out out of like five
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 5: of us. That started, but yeah you're hopefully she still
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 5: stays friends with them over. The years.
• 1:19:22
  Speaker 2: It's, incredible, YEAH well i hope you keep your, Friends
• 1:19:25
  Speaker 2: too whitney, AND writer i hope this works out. FOR
• 1:19:28
  Speaker 2: you i don't think any of us think that you're doing.
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 2: ANYTHING wrong i do think that there is something to
• 1:19:32
  Speaker 2: be said for treating people the way they want to.
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 1: Be treated and if.
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 2: You're like this cosmopolitan renaissance person who can just get
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 2: out there and makes, my friends keeping in mind that
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 2: the way that people bond to you may be differently
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 2: the way you bond, to them and that means you
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 2: have to honor what they need in. The relationship and
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 2: if you can't, do that. Communicate.
• 1:19:50
  Speaker 5: That, YES yes i did have a client not too
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 5: long ago who is in her early thirties and, SHE'S
• 1:19:57
  Speaker 5: like i have this one friend and, she's yeah like that.
• 1:19:59
  Speaker 5: Magnetic friend, she's like but she's. So busy she always
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 5: has like something she's doing like every night of, the week,
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 5: every week and she has so many friends and we'll,
• 1:20:07
  Speaker 5: book stuff, you know a month out and. That's great,
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 5: she's like but it kind of makes me Feel like
• 1:20:10
  Speaker 5: i'm not as good of a friend. To her, SHE was,
• 1:20:12
  Speaker 5: I know, i'm Not like, SHE'S like, i know we're,
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 5: good friends but it's just hard because she's so well
• 1:20:18
  Speaker 5: loved and like. Well LIKED and i, was, like well
• 1:20:20
  Speaker 5: have you talked her? About it so. She did she
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 5: talked to her, about it and it was great because
• 1:20:24
  Speaker 5: from there, she's, like well let's book, something soon like
• 1:20:27
  Speaker 5: let's MAKE sure i get you on, the calendar and
• 1:20:29
  Speaker 5: like make you feel, cared FOR like i do have
• 1:20:32
  Speaker 5: these other friends and and she kind of, acknowledged THAT like,
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 5: I am i'm still going to be hanging out with,
• 1:20:37
  Speaker 5: all them but you are important. To me it was
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 5: just good to have. THAT communication i, don't know THAT'S just.
• 1:20:41
  Speaker 2: I feel like girlfriends are a little Different, THAN yeah i,
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 2: don't know you guys ever have these conversations with, your,
• 1:20:46
  Speaker 2: dudes like, HEY man i feel like we haven't hung
• 1:20:48
  Speaker 2: out ENOUGH and i feel like you just don't make me. A.
• 1:20:50
  Speaker 3: Priority Honestly what i've got going for me is just,
• 1:20:53
  Speaker 3: being ugly because then, it's, LIKE yeah i got nothing.
• 1:20:56
  Speaker 1: Going on nobody's trying to hang, out now hang out. To,
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 1: night sure thanks thanks. For yeah let me check, my,
• 1:21:03
  Speaker 1: Schedule buddy. I'M trying i can. DO that I have
• 1:21:05
  Speaker 1: german food with.
• 1:21:06
  Speaker 2: Me tonight i'm trying to take you To a, german bar.
• 1:21:07
  Speaker 5: A date a little.
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 2: DATE night, i mean whatever.
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 1: HAPPENS happens, i, mean like, you know get the SuDS.
• 1:21:14
  Speaker 1: In you you don't know what's, gonna happen a, little schnitzel,
• 1:21:16
  Speaker 1: You know let's try and have a. Good time That's what.
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 2: I'm saying i'm, open, minded okay as the best man
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 2: should be, All right and when we, come back we're
• 1:21:25
  Speaker 2: talking about an Atheist. Exploring god In. Twelve step you're
• 1:21:30
  Speaker 2: listening to.
• 1:21:31
  Speaker 1: Pod therapy.
• 1:21:33
  Speaker 3: You gone this episode has brought to You By, Jake
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  Speaker 3: Schneider Malia Richard Macy, sonny boy It's Under cougar falcon scoops,
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  Speaker 3: a Paquet, motherfucker Sanderman, Wowfa Oh, Lena Cabre, ADAM warren
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• 1:21:46
  Speaker 3: sponsored show Become A Patreon it patreon.
• 1:21:48
  Speaker 1: Therap Producer. Therapy boy it's good they nick got. That
• 1:21:54
  Speaker 1: commercial let, Under time ye. Nailed it, All.
• 1:21:57
  Speaker 3: Right Jacob terror terror, management therapy Developed, by greenberg some,
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 3: other guy and some other person in the nineteen eighties
• 1:22:07
  Speaker 3: is built on what central EMPIRICAL finding a early childhood
• 1:22:13
  Speaker 3: bereavement is the primary predictor of adult death anxiety. ACROSS
• 1:22:17
  Speaker 3: cultures b human channeled humans channel death awareness product productively
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 3: into creativity and cultural productions as a primary coping Mechanism
• 1:22:33
  Speaker 3: see therapeutic progress on existential concerns requires working through rather
• 1:22:39
  Speaker 3: than avoiding mortality related material sure as, it does or
• 1:22:44
  Speaker 3: d subtly reminding people of their, own death walking past the,
• 1:22:48
  Speaker 3: funeral home writing a few sentences about dying measurably, increasing
• 1:22:53
  Speaker 3: nationalism hostility towards, out groups preferences for, luxury goods and
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 3: conformity to. CULTURAL norms i have forgotten, the question but it.
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 1: Is a it Is d.
• 1:23:07
  Speaker 3: That's what, you, said right the luxury, Goods.
• 1:23:09
  Speaker 1: One yes?
• 1:23:11
  Speaker 5: VERY luxurious i learned?
• 1:23:14
  Speaker 1: Makes, Sense.
• 1:23:14
  Speaker 3: Okay. Whitney Yes the, ikea effect published In the Journal
• 1:23:22
  Speaker 3: Of consumer psychology in twenty Twelve By Norton have You,
• 1:23:28
  Speaker 3: any burial demonstrated WHAT Finding a people valued items they
• 1:23:34
  Speaker 3: had assembled themselves at nearly the same level as professionals professionals.
• 1:23:38
  Speaker 3: Assembly equivalents even though objective quality, was lower time spent
• 1:23:44
  Speaker 3: assembling an item was the primary predictor of, perceived value
• 1:23:48
  Speaker 3: regardless of the. Actual results, like that people who assembled
• 1:23:53
  Speaker 3: their furniture with a partner reportedly higher higher. Relationship satisfaction
• 1:23:57
  Speaker 3: that's More d people who abandoned assembly midway rated the
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 3: experiences more negatively than people who. NEVER started i.
• 1:24:07
  Speaker 1: LIKE that i mean the last one just. Seems obvious
• 1:24:11
  Speaker 1: but is that what they found is that what this particular.
• 1:24:14
  Speaker 5: THING was i feel like b.
• 1:24:17
  Speaker 3: Time, spent no it is a people valued items they had.
• 1:24:22
  Speaker 3: Assembled themselves so labor creates attachment to its product products
• 1:24:28
  Speaker 3: even when the products are.
• 1:24:29
  Speaker 2: Objectively, inferior yeah that feels Right because i've Never, felt
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 2: YEAH but i.
• 1:24:36
  Speaker 1: Get it do you Go.
• 1:24:37
  Speaker 5: To ikea i've not been to an Ike. And ages
• 1:24:41
  Speaker 5: i'm like a. SECONDHAND girlly i want to go get my,
• 1:24:43
  Speaker 5: furniture off, you know offer the. Thrift, STORE like i
• 1:24:48
  Speaker 5: do not want new furniture unless it's something, very SPECIFIC
• 1:24:51
  Speaker 5: like i, NEED measurements i need like a thing for
• 1:24:54
  Speaker 5: but ninety the.
• 1:24:56
  Speaker 4: Shelf right around the corner there with all my records
• 1:24:58
  Speaker 4: on it That's. FROM ikia i think it was The
• 1:25:00
  Speaker 4: only ikia thing in. The house, but, yeah, LIKE yeah
• 1:25:03
  Speaker 4: I think i need something for. Record, albums Yeah and
• 1:25:06
  Speaker 4: ikia has a line of things.
• 1:25:08
  Speaker 2: With buying things used from a store where you can,
• 1:25:11
  Speaker 2: inspect it but Like on facebook marketplace, and shit this.
• 1:25:14
  Speaker 2: Shit's DUMB like i spent four Hours this saturday driving across.
• 1:25:20
  Speaker 1: Town and they don't.
• 1:25:21
  Speaker 6: Answer no One.
• 1:25:22
  Speaker 2: In summerland one, IN all i had to drive all
• 1:25:25
  Speaker 2: the way across town because like two, Different items like
• 1:25:27
  Speaker 2: one was like a vanity for.
• 1:25:28
  Speaker 1: My daughter one was like.
• 1:25:29
  Speaker 2: A bookshelf neither. Of THEM when i got there and
• 1:25:31
  Speaker 2: took pictures and sent, them in my wife and my daughter, were,
• 1:25:34
  Speaker 2: LIKE no i don't, want It and, i'm like he
• 1:25:36
  Speaker 2: fuck THAT is.
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 1: I was.
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 4: SO fine i don't know why you would make. That,
• 1:25:42
  Speaker 4: drive yeah.
• 1:25:43
  Speaker 5: They didn't see the. Pictures, BEFORE yeah.
• 1:25:45
  Speaker 2: I guess they took their word, for it like they had.
• 1:25:48
  Speaker 2: General PICTURES and i got There and, i'm, like hey
• 1:25:50
  Speaker 2: this this shelf or like the drawer won't push in all.
• 1:25:52
  Speaker 1: The way is? That, COOL no i don't. Want it
• 1:25:54
  Speaker 1: ask them. About it i'm not going to talk to.
• 1:25:56
  Speaker 1: This person like it's it's a twenty. Dollars thing I'm
• 1:25:58
  Speaker 1: driving acrosstown.
• 1:25:59
  Speaker 5: For it this.
• 1:25:59
  Speaker 1: Is dumb for a twenty, DOLLARS thing i would. NOT
• 1:26:02
  Speaker 1: ask i would just. Fucking Build like, I'm there i'm.
• 1:26:04
  Speaker 5: GETTING it i have, a ride and this is what.
• 1:26:06
  Speaker 1: You get here is the twenty dollars and here's your.
• 1:26:09
  Speaker 5: New, vanity yeah here's your. New vanity throw.
• 1:26:11
  Speaker 1: IT out i think you. Fix, IT yeah.
• 1:26:14
  Speaker 5: I know i literally am thinking on. OUR house i
• 1:26:16
  Speaker 5: think one recliner and one chair upstairs in our bedroom are,
• 1:26:20
  Speaker 5: like new oh my. Office chair three things in our house.
• 1:26:24
  Speaker 5: Are new the rest have Been Secondhand, Facebook, MARK like
• 1:26:27
  Speaker 5: I just i don't want to worry about my furniture
• 1:26:30
  Speaker 5: if it gets like, spilled on if it gets.
• 1:26:32
  Speaker 2: LIKE oh i see. It right you prefer to be
• 1:26:34
  Speaker 2: worn in a little bit because they.
• 1:26:36
  Speaker 1: Don't care.
• 1:26:38
  Speaker 5: That wasn't a two hundred. Dollars chair that was a fifty. Dollars, Chair,
• 1:26:42
  Speaker 5: GREAT okay i don't.
• 1:26:43
  Speaker 2: HATE that i just don't like the surprise of like
• 1:26:45
  Speaker 2: finding out whether we're going to fucking keep this Thing
• 1:26:47
  Speaker 2: after i've driven for.
• 1:26:48
  Speaker 1: An hour well that's.
• 1:26:49
  Speaker 4: On you you're giving an Option to, UH well i
• 1:26:52
  Speaker 4: am about to say a teenager, Guess, stager.
• 1:26:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah like you have driven.
• 1:26:56
  Speaker 4: Across argue you were given THE errand i would just
• 1:27:00
  Speaker 4: complete the errand.
• 1:27:02
  Speaker 5: Why are you? Taking pictures and IT'S like i.
• 1:27:03
  Speaker 1: Got It, got oh that was part of. The assignment
• 1:27:06
  Speaker 1: it's video call me and oh? With, You yeah i'd,
• 1:27:09
  Speaker 1: be like then you are getting in the car? With,
• 1:27:10
  Speaker 1: me yeah he wants to drive. Across town that, is
• 1:27:12
  Speaker 1: exactly and That's why i'm not driving. Across town and
• 1:27:14
  Speaker 1: then calling, my kid it'd, be like what do you?
• 1:27:17
  Speaker 6: Think kid did you get a QUESTION out ABC?
• 1:27:20
  Speaker 1: Or d I'LL. Take c it, was bright moving. On
• 1:27:25
  Speaker 1: whatever last question for. The night.
• 1:27:30
  Speaker 2: An Atheist exploring god In. Twelve, steps, hey y'all partial
• 1:27:35
  Speaker 2: follow up TO something i wrote about around a year
• 1:27:38
  Speaker 2: ago with a new question for. Good measure if you
• 1:27:41
  Speaker 2: want to, go back it's episode three. Eighty seven dating someone.
• 1:27:44
  Speaker 2: In recovery baguette is a wonderful part of my, life
• 1:27:48
  Speaker 2: today though it wasn't a continuous path.
• 1:27:51
  Speaker 1: For us baggett was.
• 1:27:52
  Speaker 2: The Girlfriend neither bagette or myself were really in a
• 1:27:55
  Speaker 2: place where we were ready for a relationship a, year
• 1:27:57
  Speaker 2: ago and she called for a pause after. Three months
• 1:28:01
  Speaker 2: despite the hurt AND confusion i felt at. The time
• 1:28:04
  Speaker 2: i'm actually really proud of her for recognizing a problem
• 1:28:07
  Speaker 2: and detaching for her safety. And recovery during, OUR pause
• 1:28:11
  Speaker 2: i did a lot of work on myself with my
• 1:28:13
  Speaker 2: therapist and eventually joined a twelve step fellowship that has
• 1:28:16
  Speaker 2: helped me tremendously in the past. Half Year It's Coda.
• 1:28:20
  Speaker 2: CODEPENDENCE anonymous i believe it was that work that prepared
• 1:28:24
  Speaker 2: me to be ready to come back to the relationship
• 1:28:27
  Speaker 2: when our paths crossed again in a church lobby in
• 1:28:30
  Speaker 2: the neighboring city a handful of. Months later on to
• 1:28:33
  Speaker 2: the question. At hand before my journey Into The, TWELVE
• 1:28:36
  Speaker 2: steps i used to be more or less identifying as,
• 1:28:39
  Speaker 2: an atheist even though that still didn't feel. Quite, right
• 1:28:43
  Speaker 2: Now as i'm going through my, Own journey i'm running
• 1:28:46
  Speaker 2: into a mental block when reconciling my quote unquote atheist
• 1:28:50
  Speaker 2: beliefs and the spiritual aspects of. The program i'm slowly
• 1:28:55
  Speaker 2: changing my views and approached to the world to be
• 1:28:58
  Speaker 2: more open to a higher power of my, own understanding
• 1:29:02
  Speaker 2: but it still doesn't feel like ME when i try
• 1:29:05
  Speaker 2: to internalize, that concept especially when it comes to releasing
• 1:29:09
  Speaker 2: my will to this, higher power looking forward as always
• 1:29:14
  Speaker 2: to the, useful thoughts but maybe more to the smart
• 1:29:17
  Speaker 2: ones on ways to approach this transition in. My Life
• 1:29:21
  Speaker 2: Mental health month. Bonus content did you know that there
• 1:29:24
  Speaker 2: Are twelve step programs for way more than just. SUBSTANCE
• 1:29:28
  Speaker 2: use i learned that last year and have been amazed
• 1:29:30
  Speaker 2: at the breadth, of, issues dysfunctions and disorders that have fellowships.
• 1:29:34
  Speaker 2: For support it'd be appreciated to hear all of your
• 1:29:37
  Speaker 2: thoughts on the wider non substance Use twelve. Step fellowships
• 1:29:41
  Speaker 2: thank you for the laughs and occasionally. Useful information signed
• 1:29:46
  Speaker 2: a crusty quithon croissantow steps thought not Just, For, Yeah
• 1:29:55
  Speaker 2: no I'm really i'm really glad that they brought. That
• 1:29:57
  Speaker 2: up so like here in The twelve, step community There's in,
• 1:30:00
  Speaker 2: vegas anyway we have like buildings where there's meetings that,
• 1:30:02
  Speaker 2: are held and so we have, overeaters, anonymous right That's at,
• 1:30:06
  Speaker 2: gambler's anonymous that's not, substance use codependence anonymous adult children
• 1:30:12
  Speaker 2: of alcoholics Like alan On and innar, and on which
• 1:30:16
  Speaker 2: are not Actually for i'm, abusing Substances but i'm the
• 1:30:19
  Speaker 2: friend or family of somebody. Who is there's a lot
• 1:30:23
  Speaker 2: and of course we don't talk about it a lot on,
• 1:30:24
  Speaker 2: the show but we've referenced in. The past there's S
• 1:30:27
  Speaker 2: A A Sex. Addicts anonymous there's s L A a
• 1:30:30
  Speaker 2: Sex And Love. Addicts anonymous There's porn. Addicts anonymous there
• 1:30:34
  Speaker 2: are a lot Of twelve step groups that are Not
• 1:30:36
  Speaker 2: strictly there are. Specific abuse there's specific chemical ones, like, cocaine,
• 1:30:40
  Speaker 2: heroin crystal, meth pills you know. That.
• 1:30:44
  Speaker 1: Anonymous yeah there is also all kinds of. Behavioral, ones gambler,
• 1:30:49
  Speaker 1: sex aholics. Sex. ADDIC yeah i don't know the difference
• 1:30:51
  Speaker 1: between sex andholic and sex at. It show. That's interesting
• 1:30:55
  Speaker 1: oh it's, That interesting, Thank. You, jim, yeah, yeah. Yeah yeah.
• 1:30:59
  Speaker 4: Let's see letter, Is, anonymous yes. LET'S see da is
• 1:31:04
  Speaker 4: a fellowship for those who suffer from, compulsive, debting overspending
• 1:31:07
  Speaker 4: or chronic. Under earning members support each other and stopping
• 1:31:10
  Speaker 4: incurring an, unsecured debt of repairing to finances and practicing
• 1:31:14
  Speaker 4: solvency one day at. A, time, yeah clutterers, anonymous, Underreaters
• 1:31:18
  Speaker 4: anonymous internet and, technology addicts online. Gaming, addicts yeah according
• 1:31:24
  Speaker 4: to this one THING that I have googled, right now
• 1:31:26
  Speaker 4: there's over fifty.
• 1:31:26
  Speaker 2: Of them there's a LOT which i think is. Really Great,
• 1:31:29
  Speaker 2: And nick i'm really interested in your answer to THIS
• 1:31:32
  Speaker 2: because i think YOU, and i working in, substance abuse
• 1:31:36
  Speaker 2: we have a very adjacent relationship with the recovery tradition of,
• 1:31:42
  Speaker 2: twelve STEP and i think YOU and i have always
• 1:31:45
  Speaker 2: practiced a lot of respect for it because we've seen
• 1:31:47
  Speaker 2: it change a lot of, people's lives and we generally
• 1:31:50
  Speaker 2: encourage people that if they're willing to give themselves to,
• 1:31:52
  Speaker 2: that method please. Do right we generally want to. See
• 1:31:56
  Speaker 2: THIS but i think that what the writer's talking about
• 1:31:59
  Speaker 2: is something that you've probably had to have a lot of,
• 1:32:01
  Speaker 2: conversations about because, you know you're an, outward atheist and people, have,
• 1:32:05
  Speaker 2: SAID well i don't want to go to twelve STEP
• 1:32:07
  Speaker 2: because i don't believe in the higher. Power THING and
• 1:32:09
  Speaker 2: i remember historically being curious how you would respond. To
• 1:32:12
  Speaker 2: THAT but i remember you always kind of pushing them
• 1:32:15
  Speaker 2: toward recovery while also creating space for them to still
• 1:32:19
  Speaker 2: authentically hold, their beliefs but like really trying to get
• 1:32:23
  Speaker 2: them to focus on their health and focus on what their.
• 1:32:26
  Speaker 2: Objectives were so when you think about balancing what the
• 1:32:30
  Speaker 2: twelve steps talk, about him and you might need to
• 1:32:31
  Speaker 2: give a little bit of a public education for the
• 1:32:33
  Speaker 2: listeners that don't understand twelve step how much of it
• 1:32:37
  Speaker 2: even speaks to that in, Your impression but how do
• 1:32:40
  Speaker 2: you kind of respond? To that.
• 1:32:43
  Speaker 3: That's that's tough because there's a lot of things THAT
• 1:32:47
  Speaker 3: like i kind of want to jump in and just, feel,
• 1:32:50
  Speaker 3: like well that's not quite exactly like.
• 1:32:55
  Speaker 5: The.
• 1:32:55
  Speaker 3: Twelve steps there is a big part of the, twelve
• 1:32:58
  Speaker 3: steps which is understanding that you are powerless over this
• 1:33:03
  Speaker 3: thing and giving yourself over to a. Higher, power okay
• 1:33:08
  Speaker 3: that's the piece that now although that one piece isn't
• 1:33:12
  Speaker 3: said in every one of, the steps it's the.
• 1:33:15
  Speaker 1: Main theme it's the.
• 1:33:17
  Speaker 3: First step, yeah yeah so well excepting. Your powerless but
• 1:33:21
  Speaker 3: then the other thing is giving yourself over, to another
• 1:33:23
  Speaker 3: to a. Higher power that's the piece that people. Struggle
• 1:33:27
  Speaker 3: with and the THING that i always like explain to people, is,
• 1:33:31
  Speaker 3: like well that doesn't have to. Be supernatural it doesn't
• 1:33:34
  Speaker 3: have to be, you know anything that you don't believe.
• 1:33:37
  Speaker 3: In it, You know i've heard some, people, say like,
• 1:33:41
  Speaker 3: to me my higher power is the group itself is. The,
• 1:33:45
  Speaker 3: FELLOWSHIP yeah i was.
• 1:33:46
  Speaker 1: Gonna say i've heard often like society.
• 1:33:50
  Speaker 5: Or like.
• 1:33:50
  Speaker 3: My, community yeah AND so i think from that perspective
• 1:33:54
  Speaker 3: then it's a lot easier for an atheist to be
• 1:33:57
  Speaker 3: part of. That group the THING that i want to
• 1:34:00
  Speaker 3: CORRECT and i don't want to, say correct but the
• 1:34:05
  Speaker 3: writer and you even kind of said, it too and it's.
• 1:34:08
  Speaker 3: Not correct it's just it's not. My definition but atheist
• 1:34:12
  Speaker 3: to me has. A definition and it's like when you say,
• 1:34:15
  Speaker 3: atheist beliefs that doesn't make sense, to me because theism
• 1:34:21
  Speaker 3: is THE belief a is without it's without. A belief
• 1:34:24
  Speaker 3: there is no atheist. Belief system there's not. A, routine
• 1:34:28
  Speaker 3: yeah there's. None there you don't have an like people,
• 1:34:31
  Speaker 3: will say like an, Atheistic worldview and that doesn't make
• 1:34:33
  Speaker 3: sense to, Me either like you don't believe, in leprechauns
• 1:34:36
  Speaker 3: you don't have An a leprekhanis.
• 1:34:38
  Speaker 1: BELIEF system i mean technically address.
• 1:34:41
  Speaker 5: You know.
• 1:34:43
  Speaker 3: Never mind actually.
• 1:34:45
  Speaker 1: BAD example i do admit the existence of the, lepre
• 1:34:49
  Speaker 1: films but like the the, whole, thing like to be
• 1:34:53
  Speaker 1: an atheist is to be without a belief in, a
• 1:34:57
  Speaker 1: god a. Supernatural god.
• 1:34:58
  Speaker 3: That's it that's all, it means and. It doesn't people
• 1:35:01
  Speaker 3: will stack, onto that and you can, do that Say
• 1:35:03
  Speaker 3: like i'm an ATHEIST and, I believe i'll go a
• 1:35:07
  Speaker 3: step further and say there Is, no, god.
• 1:35:09
  Speaker 1: Okay which is a. Different, Claim, okay yeah this.
• 1:35:12
  Speaker 4: IS interesting I found i found a thing here that
• 1:35:14
  Speaker 4: is it purports to be the original twelve steps. Of alcoholics,
• 1:35:19
  Speaker 4: anonymous okay it's. Step two says that originally it was
• 1:35:24
  Speaker 4: referred to, as hope and that that step came to
• 1:35:27
  Speaker 4: become that there is a power greater than ourselves that
• 1:35:31
  Speaker 4: could restore us, to humanity but that it started as just, not, humanity.
• 1:35:34
  Speaker 4: Sorry sanity but it started as simply the hope that
• 1:35:41
  Speaker 4: sanity could.
• 1:35:41
  Speaker 5: Be.
• 1:35:42
  Speaker 1: Restored yea and so it's interesting that over over time.
• 1:35:46
  Speaker 4: It became it may according to this one, thing again
• 1:35:49
  Speaker 4: it may have become a little more religious, over time,
• 1:35:52
  Speaker 4: as yeah who knows.
• 1:35:53
  Speaker 2: What happened we should also point OUT that I and
• 1:35:56
  Speaker 2: i don't know, how WELL but.
• 1:35:57
  Speaker 1: I think it had, to though because if you think,
• 1:35:59
  Speaker 1: about it there was no, other. Option right the church
• 1:36:03
  Speaker 1: was the one run in.
• 1:36:04
  Speaker 3: The program well it wasn't necessarily, the church but like
• 1:36:07
  Speaker 3: the church was kind of involved but like it's kind, of,
• 1:36:10
  Speaker 3: like yeah it's kind of like one of those claims
• 1:36:13
  Speaker 3: where you, people, say, like well, you know, religious people
• 1:36:16
  Speaker 3: religion is good because religion brought. Us hospitals religious brought
• 1:36:20
  Speaker 3: us this thing and this thing and this thing and.
• 1:36:22
  Speaker 3: This thing, it's, like yes that is one hundred. Percent
• 1:36:24
  Speaker 3: true but also there it was the only game.
• 1:36:26
  Speaker 1: In town it was. An institution there was. Nothing else there.
• 1:36:31
  Speaker 3: Were no other options at, the, Time right, so, LIKE yeah,
• 1:36:35
  Speaker 3: i mean of course a program like a twelve step
• 1:36:39
  Speaker 3: was going to have some sort of religious or faith
• 1:36:41
  Speaker 3: based background because that's all. There.
• 1:36:44
  Speaker 1: Was, now yeah it's a.
• 1:36:45
  Speaker 2: Good point AND also i think one of the things,
• 1:36:47
  Speaker 2: that often and this IS something i think is really important,
• 1:36:50
  Speaker 2: TO say i have had lots of people over the
• 1:36:53
  Speaker 2: years that need to, get, help right especially with. Substance
• 1:36:56
  Speaker 2: use they need to. Get help they need to go To.
• 1:36:57
  Speaker 1: Alan on then you go To narn On or, i'm.
• 1:36:59
  Speaker 2: SORRY, a na and their excuse for not doing anything
• 1:37:05
  Speaker 2: Is because i've heard those are, religious ORGANIZATIONS and i always. Poor,
• 1:37:10
  Speaker 2: EXCUSE yeah i will break my foot off in their
• 1:37:12
  Speaker 2: Ass because i'm like this dumbest, fucking thing like a
• 1:37:15
  Speaker 2: you have not looked into, it adequately because if, you
• 1:37:18
  Speaker 2: did you would find that there's plenty. Of room there's a,
• 1:37:21
  Speaker 2: very strong like notable atheist community in all of. Those
• 1:37:26
  Speaker 2: fellowships they usually have their own meetings that, explicitly, say
• 1:37:31
  Speaker 2: hey this is the.
• 1:37:31
  Speaker 4: Godless meeting just in this this is, already like do
• 1:37:34
  Speaker 4: you want me to, show secular like non religious versions
• 1:37:37
  Speaker 4: of these. Twelve steps it's very List and i'm literally
• 1:37:39
  Speaker 4: just like looking up what the twelve steps are like
• 1:37:42
  Speaker 4: to get. The, order, yes yeah and it's already.
• 1:37:44
  Speaker 2: Popping out and like the theory of, higher power like
• 1:37:47
  Speaker 2: when you sit in the rooms and you listen to
• 1:37:49
  Speaker 2: twelve step and they talk, about it there are going
• 1:37:52
  Speaker 2: to be people there that Talk. About god there are
• 1:37:55
  Speaker 2: also going to be people there that talk about their
• 1:37:56
  Speaker 2: ancestors reaching out through the void and calling. Them home
• 1:38:00
  Speaker 2: there's gonna be people there that talk about the greater
• 1:38:01
  Speaker 2: universe and. Alien energy that's speaking of a lot of
• 1:38:05
  Speaker 2: people talk about energy now that is their higher power
• 1:38:08
  Speaker 2: is just some kind, of homeostasis equilibrium or a future version.
• 1:38:12
  Speaker 2: Of self there's all sorts of. Creative things nobody corrects
• 1:38:15
  Speaker 2: anybody because it's not. A church it doesn't, fucking matter none.
• 1:38:19
  Speaker 2: Of them they say that at the beginning of. Every,
• 1:38:20
  Speaker 2: meeting hey we are not here to fix. Each other
• 1:38:22
  Speaker 2: we are not here to. Do that we are here
• 1:38:24
  Speaker 2: to listen in a hold space.
• 1:38:25
  Speaker 1: About their alien.
• 1:38:26
  Speaker 2: Induction, stories, fine fine nobody is. A shit but there's
• 1:38:30
  Speaker 2: a lot of people that have used this as their
• 1:38:32
  Speaker 2: excuse to not do the hard work because they feel
• 1:38:35
  Speaker 2: like they're a conscientious objector and they go back to
• 1:38:37
  Speaker 2: calling it into a fucking bottle and it's it's just
• 1:38:40
  Speaker 2: a fucking, bullshit, excuse, like OH.
• 1:38:41
  Speaker 1: So i don't know who you're fighting against.
• 1:38:43
  Speaker 2: Against, yourself yeah because there are atheists ipe you.
• 1:38:47
  Speaker 1: Get, it though because it has.
• 1:38:50
  Speaker 3: A reputation And if i'm an ATHEIST and i think,
• 1:38:52
  Speaker 3: About it i'm gonna have, To, GO yeah i imagine
• 1:38:55
  Speaker 3: myself being the only person in the room that doesn't
• 1:39:00
  Speaker 3: believe in a higher power and having to, either, pretend
• 1:39:04
  Speaker 3: yeah go against the, entire group or fake it and
• 1:39:07
  Speaker 3: Be somebody i'm Not. Its yeah AND so i think
• 1:39:10
  Speaker 3: the thing, is, that like if if more people understood
• 1:39:14
  Speaker 3: that they're not going to be alone in, that room
• 1:39:17
  Speaker 3: and there's going to be other people that also lack.
• 1:39:19
  Speaker 1: Of, belief yeah very. Good point AND then i think
• 1:39:22
  Speaker 1: there's going to be more openness.
• 1:39:24
  Speaker 2: And willingness and you, know what now that you say That,
• 1:39:25
  Speaker 2: TO nick i think that We're by i'm biased personally
• 1:39:29
  Speaker 2: In A western us kind. Of way i've been told
• 1:39:32
  Speaker 2: by people who have migrated From the south and From
• 1:39:34
  Speaker 2: the midwest that when they, get here, they're like oh,
• 1:39:37
  Speaker 2: My god i'm so surprised that how pretty much agnostic
• 1:39:40
  Speaker 2: and non religious THE aa na, Community.
• 1:39:43
  Speaker 1: Is oh you are you are very spoiled.
• 1:39:45
  Speaker 4: BY that i think if, you're discovered just the fact
• 1:39:48
  Speaker 4: that you're discovering that tells me that you are spoiled. By,
• 1:39:50
  Speaker 4: that yeah because there was no such Thing in louisiana
• 1:39:54
  Speaker 4: as as an agnostic.
• 1:39:57
  Speaker 1: Recovery anything it simply. Did, not, okay, yeah YEAH but i.
• 1:40:02
  Speaker 4: Will say that looking up these the different twelve steps,
• 1:40:05
  Speaker 4: Real quick i'll just go, through them the kind of general.
• 1:40:09
  Speaker 1: Traditional.
• 1:40:10
  Speaker 4: Twelve, steps, honestly, hope, surrender, courage, integrity, willingness humility, brotherly, love, justice,
• 1:40:15
  Speaker 4: perseverance spirituality.
• 1:40:16
  Speaker 5: And.
• 1:40:17
  Speaker 4: Service, yeah yeah those are the. Twelve, principles yeah and
• 1:40:21
  Speaker 4: each one goes into it a little. Bit more but
• 1:40:23
  Speaker 4: the agnostic atheist version, of it their version of the,
• 1:40:27
  Speaker 4: twelve steps WHICH really, i, think uh, Eating, babies sure
• 1:40:33
  Speaker 4: well that's. That's, thirteen okay dancing With the devil in
• 1:40:36
  Speaker 4: the florest and the pale.
• 1:40:37
  Speaker 1: Movie brooms for. Some reason, but no they match up
• 1:40:41
  Speaker 1: well and they get the they do the getting the job,
• 1:40:46
  Speaker 1: DONE part. I think so one is admit powerless over
• 1:40:50
  Speaker 1: addiction and the unmanageability.
• 1:40:52
  Speaker 4: Of, life yeah that's the only One that i'll read,
• 1:40:54
  Speaker 4: out completely just the way. Didn't work that, one means
• 1:40:57
  Speaker 4: and then accept the need for strength beyond your own
• 1:41:00
  Speaker 4: and trust life and will form a fearless moral inventory.
• 1:41:04
  Speaker 4: Of oneself admit the nature of wrongs to oneself and
• 1:41:09
  Speaker 4: at least one other person except help humbly work to eliminate.
• 1:41:13
  Speaker 4: Personal shortcomings list, those harmed and become willing to. Make
• 1:41:16
  Speaker 4: amends make, direct amends continue taking, personal inventory promptly admit,
• 1:41:22
  Speaker 4: when wrong use meditation slash reflection that takes the place
• 1:41:26
  Speaker 4: of prayer and everything to improve personal awareness and sustain the,
• 1:41:29
  Speaker 4: recovery path and practice these principles and. All affairs sharing
• 1:41:32
  Speaker 4: this approach with others and.
• 1:41:34
  Speaker 1: Number thirteen date the, new person always fuck the, New
• 1:41:39
  Speaker 1: person always fuck. The newbie but no.
• 1:41:41
  Speaker 2: You're right like the philosophy in a nutshell of twelve
• 1:41:44
  Speaker 2: step is practice extreme, intellectual humility be willing to self
• 1:41:49
  Speaker 2: examine and, self correct make right relationships that you, have
• 1:41:52
  Speaker 2: wronged and do this.
• 1:41:53
  Speaker 1: In perpetuity that. Is it basically the way you're doing
• 1:41:57
  Speaker 1: shit right now. Ain't working. That's it we're going to
• 1:41:59
  Speaker 1: do some. New, shit yes it's.
• 1:42:01
  Speaker 2: Self examination It's a socratic method really broken down. Into
• 1:42:04
  Speaker 2: pieces and we should also mention there are entire fellowships
• 1:42:08
  Speaker 2: that are completely OUTSIDE, of aa Things Like, smart recovery
• 1:42:12
  Speaker 2: that are designed from the ground up with this idea, of,
• 1:42:14
  Speaker 2: like okay we are explicitly making sure that this is
• 1:42:17
  Speaker 2: in no way affiliated with theology and we're just. Evidence
• 1:42:20
  Speaker 2: BASED and i like those fellowships. A lot they have
• 1:42:23
  Speaker 2: to tend to have more of like a curriculum and.
• 1:42:25
  Speaker 1: STUFF too i.
• 1:42:26
  Speaker 4: Would, always say if you are hesitant to do one
• 1:42:30
  Speaker 4: of these programs because of the religious aspect, of it wherever,
• 1:42:33
  Speaker 4: you are if you're in a more religious area, than
• 1:42:37
  Speaker 4: not whatever, it is you can't use that as. An,
• 1:42:41
  Speaker 4: excuse yeah you're doing. They do that's the thing is
• 1:42:45
  Speaker 4: you're doing the work. On you if you're letting, someone else,
• 1:42:49
  Speaker 4: you know dictate whether or not you can do that work.
• 1:42:52
  Speaker 4: On YOURSELF then i mean you're not doing. The, Work Yeah,
• 1:42:56
  Speaker 4: so whitney what are you thinking? ABOUT this, i mean
• 1:42:58
  Speaker 4: obviously you're not like these atheist heathen, you know you
• 1:43:01
  Speaker 4: went to, a good god fearing.
• 1:43:02
  Speaker 1: Animal, college like go on like a. Good girl, You
• 1:43:06
  Speaker 1: know i've Got my demons shirt on.
• 1:43:09
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 1:43:09
  Speaker 1: Now mascot, oh wow it's. The demon he was. Our, mascot.
• 1:43:21
  Speaker 5: Gosh, you know or listening to you read through. THIS
• 1:43:23
  Speaker 5: QUESTION i i was very, curious TOO because i am
• 1:43:28
  Speaker 5: not familiar with the. TWELVE stuff, i MEAN like i know,
• 1:43:30
  Speaker 5: of THEM but i couldn't list three. OF them i
• 1:43:33
  Speaker 5: don't know, by.
• 1:43:35
  Speaker 1: Heart just because we.
• 1:43:37
  Speaker 3: Had to i've been to so, many, meetings yeah like taking,
• 1:43:40
  Speaker 3: transporting clients going with clients to meetings.
• 1:43:42
  Speaker 1: And stuff and you also just learn it through osmosis telling.
• 1:43:46
  Speaker 1: Their story That's.
• 1:43:47
  Speaker 5: Something i've always wondered. About them, i'm like what if
• 1:43:50
  Speaker 5: you are are an atheist, or agnostic you're just Not
• 1:43:53
  Speaker 5: a christian because it Seems very. Christian based how does?
• 1:43:57
  Speaker 5: That WORK and i guess maybe we are very spoiled
• 1:44:01
  Speaker 5: Here In. Las vegas but, let's, Say yeah i'm transported Back,
• 1:44:04
  Speaker 5: To dallas texas, or WHEREVER and i want to attend a.
• 1:44:08
  Speaker 5: MEETING there, i mean do you think like? Those meetings
• 1:44:13
  Speaker 5: are there certain meetings that like advertise.
• 1:44:16
  Speaker 3: As, So religious they don't advertise, as it but like
• 1:44:21
  Speaker 3: this is, the, Thing liketry they'll be there as an.
• 1:44:24
  Speaker 3: Atheist meeting but like a lot of The whenever i've
• 1:44:28
  Speaker 3: worked with clients and they were hesitant and they wanted
• 1:44:30
  Speaker 3: to go try, A meeting i would, always, Say, like
• 1:44:33
  Speaker 3: okay do me. A, favorite though commit to five. Different
• 1:44:37
  Speaker 3: MEETINGS oh i. Like that don't go to one and
• 1:44:40
  Speaker 3: then come back and say you. Hate, it also don't
• 1:44:42
  Speaker 3: go to one and say you. Love, it like go
• 1:44:44
  Speaker 3: to five different meetings because you have to understand one
• 1:44:46
  Speaker 3: meeting ain't going to change your life, well exactly and
• 1:44:49
  Speaker 3: every meeting is going to have a. Different crew and
• 1:44:51
  Speaker 3: that's why people find, home, groups yes because, They're like
• 1:44:55
  Speaker 3: i've been.
• 1:44:55
  Speaker 1: To all these. Different meetings these are THE people i.
• 1:44:58
  Speaker 3: Relate to this IS where i feel comfortable and so
• 1:45:00
  Speaker 3: but it's tough because you've got to wade through all
• 1:45:02
  Speaker 3: the shit to find that meeting that you feel comfortable.
• 1:45:05
  Speaker 3: Going to so there are gonna be Some AND i'm i,
• 1:45:08
  Speaker 3: would imagine, you know In The, bible belt it's going
• 1:45:11
  Speaker 3: to be a lot harder to find some of those
• 1:45:14
  Speaker 3: Meetings because i've been to Meetings where i've heard people
• 1:45:18
  Speaker 3: say shit to, you know people who, are atheists just, being,
• 1:45:22
  Speaker 3: like oh. Good, luck yeah you're not gonna you're gonna
• 1:45:24
  Speaker 3: find recovery. That, way, yeah yeah, you know and it's,
• 1:45:27
  Speaker 3: you know it's like which is.
• 1:45:29
  Speaker 1: ALSO nonsense i think there's also something to be said
• 1:45:31
  Speaker 1: for getting over the personal, Offense component like a big
• 1:45:36
  Speaker 1: part of recovery is that.
• 1:45:37
  Speaker 5: Deep, humility, YES no i think you're because some people
• 1:45:40
  Speaker 5: that have been very damaged by, religion too they are
• 1:45:44
  Speaker 5: like resistant, to anything like they're not going to be open,
• 1:45:50
  Speaker 5: to that and so if anything said to them in
• 1:45:52
  Speaker 5: a meeting where they're trying to.
• 1:45:53
  Speaker 2: Be well and this is why it's. ADDICTIONS counselors i
• 1:45:56
  Speaker 2: think it's hard to take people seriously when, they're, LIKE
• 1:45:59
  Speaker 2: no i am. Philosophically opposed, we're like, fuck you you
• 1:46:02
  Speaker 2: want to, get high like that's what. This, is yeah
• 1:46:05
  Speaker 2: don't give me some fucking lecture like you're some high falutine.
• 1:46:08
  Speaker 1: Like philosophically opposed to not. Being hot that's what.
• 1:46:11
  Speaker 2: It is But like i've seen the, same thing, you
• 1:46:14
  Speaker 2: know arguably in a lot of. TREATMENT centers i was
• 1:46:16
  Speaker 2: at a treatment center not long ago where there was
• 1:46:19
  Speaker 2: a patient who was like objecting to things because the
• 1:46:22
  Speaker 2: counselor assigned to them.
• 1:46:24
  Speaker 1: Was trans and they, were, like, no no you.
• 1:46:27
  Speaker 2: DON'T understand i philosophically disagree, with this and so like
• 1:46:30
  Speaker 2: it's just not a. Good match and you, KNOW what
• 1:46:32
  Speaker 2: I just i cannot get. Recovery here and like we
• 1:46:35
  Speaker 2: had to have a heart to HEART where i had
• 1:46:36
  Speaker 2: to talk to that PATIENT and i, was, Like look
• 1:46:39
  Speaker 2: i'm not telling you to fucking marry this person, like
• 1:46:41
  Speaker 2: you but here's. The deal if you want to fucking,
• 1:46:44
  Speaker 2: not die because that's what, addiction, is right is, a
• 1:46:47
  Speaker 2: progressive chronic and. Terminal illness if you are not taking,
• 1:46:51
  Speaker 2: it seriously then you're gonna fucking wash out of here
• 1:46:55
  Speaker 2: because you're your counselor's trans or religious or whatever the fuck,
• 1:46:58
  Speaker 2: your objection and you're not gonna any. Goddamn recovery but
• 1:47:01
  Speaker 2: if you had fucking cancer and the Surgeon was hindu
• 1:47:04
  Speaker 2: and you're, like absolutely guess you wouldn't give, two bucks
• 1:47:07
  Speaker 2: because you take seriously the fact that you are dying
• 1:47:10
  Speaker 2: and that you need their expertise as as long as
• 1:47:13
  Speaker 2: it was as long, As, obviously jacob don't be ridiculous because,
• 1:47:18
  Speaker 2: doctor medicine.
• 1:47:19
  Speaker 3: My, god Well but i'm gonna push back a little bit, On, That,
• 1:47:22
  Speaker 3: okay okay, Not.
• 1:47:23
  Speaker 1: Necessarily yeah don't, Be, Ridiculous nick not necessarily the, trans
• 1:47:28
  Speaker 1: THING because i see that that is being a little,
• 1:47:29
  Speaker 1: bit different, because like.
• 1:47:33
  Speaker 3: The trans therapist is not trying to convince the person
• 1:47:37
  Speaker 3: to become trans or change, their, Gender, right, WHEREAS like
• 1:47:41
  Speaker 3: i think that's the big thing with ESPECIALLY, in aa
• 1:47:45
  Speaker 3: where you've, got like well this IS how i. GOT
• 1:47:47
  Speaker 3: clean i got CLEAN because i turned my life Over.
• 1:47:51
  Speaker 3: TO god, i say therefore this is how you need to.
• 1:47:54
  Speaker 3: DO it i think that's a. Different THING and i do,
• 1:47:57
  Speaker 3: Think too and to kind of push back on our,
• 1:48:02
  Speaker 3: our field we get lazy SOMETIMES and i think sometimes
• 1:48:07
  Speaker 3: we're really quick to find excuses and to, Be, like
• 1:48:10
  Speaker 3: okay this person has brought up a, sincere concern and
• 1:48:14
  Speaker 3: it's easy for us, to, say well then you don't.
• 1:48:16
  Speaker 3: WANT it i guess you just don't. Want it, you're
• 1:48:18
  Speaker 3: right you've got to be serious you're not ready, for
• 1:48:20
  Speaker 3: recovery then if you're not willing to do it, our
• 1:48:22
  Speaker 3: way then you're not ready. For recovery that's not, Fair
• 1:48:25
  Speaker 3: either that's.
• 1:48:26
  Speaker 1: You, know yeah you bring up a really.
• 1:48:27
  Speaker 2: Good point there's definitely a negotiation between figuring out what
• 1:48:31
  Speaker 2: stage of change the, patient's at finding, legitimate excuses but
• 1:48:35
  Speaker 2: then routing them. Towards solutions and when anybody just throws
• 1:48:38
  Speaker 2: their hands up, and, says, OH well I guess i'll
• 1:48:40
  Speaker 2: just go back to.
• 1:48:40
  Speaker 1: The gutter.
• 1:48:41
  Speaker 2: Fuck you like if you have to park at a
• 1:48:44
  Speaker 2: WEIRD ass aa meeting because that's the only one in
• 1:48:46
  Speaker 2: your neighborhood for a, LITTLE while i guess that's what
• 1:48:49
  Speaker 2: you have.
• 1:48:50
  Speaker 1: To, do well part of it is just kind of calling.
• 1:48:52
  Speaker 3: The, bluff yeah, you know because LIKE if i HAD
• 1:48:54
  Speaker 3: if i had a client who, is, Like nope i'm
• 1:48:57
  Speaker 3: not Doing twelve step because it's all, religion based used
• 1:49:00
  Speaker 3: to blah. Blah BLAH if i think that they don't
• 1:49:02
  Speaker 3: want to do this because they are just wanting to
• 1:49:06
  Speaker 3: get high and continue, their ADDICTION yeah i, could, say
• 1:49:10
  Speaker 3: hey you just want to get high in or continue,
• 1:49:11
  Speaker 3: your addiction and then what is going To Happen all
• 1:49:15
  Speaker 3: i'm doing is creating a wedge between me and The
• 1:49:17
  Speaker 3: person i'm trying to build a. Rapport, with sure that's
• 1:49:19
  Speaker 3: not going. To help so in, that Case what i'll
• 1:49:21
  Speaker 3: Do is i'll call their bluff, Say hey i'm not
• 1:49:23
  Speaker 3: going to force you to. DO that i was able
• 1:49:25
  Speaker 3: to find, smart, recovery right it's. Very, hard yeah, all
• 1:49:29
  Speaker 3: right let's go to this. One then instead sounds like
• 1:49:31
  Speaker 3: you that this, is, okay cool this has a forty,
• 1:49:34
  Speaker 3: minute drive but we can go to, this well, YOU know,
• 1:49:37
  Speaker 3: i mean and they definitely have zoom meetings now all over.
• 1:49:40
  Speaker 1: The, world yeah. That's true out, Of excuses.
• 1:49:44
  Speaker 4: How do you how do you feel about zoom meeting
• 1:49:46
  Speaker 4: twelve step meeting versus the traditional, you know church basement
• 1:49:49
  Speaker 4: zoom meeting church.
• 1:49:50
  Speaker 1: Basement meeting that THE thing.
• 1:49:53
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't like about IT is i like the fact
• 1:49:55
  Speaker 3: That when i'm, in It if i'm going to, a
• 1:49:57
  Speaker 3: meeting Not that i'm talking To like i'm not a
• 1:49:59
  Speaker 3: member of a but LIKE if i were to go
• 1:50:01
  Speaker 3: into a meeting seeing everybody there and knowing that we're
• 1:50:05
  Speaker 3: all in the, same spot as opposed to on ZOOM
• 1:50:08
  Speaker 3: where i don't know who else is in the in
• 1:50:11
  Speaker 3: the room, WITH you i can see.
• 1:50:16
  Speaker 1: Anybody else it's better.
• 1:50:17
  Speaker 2: Than nothing i've had folks who needed that because they
• 1:50:21
  Speaker 2: were really high, profile people and So with zoom they
• 1:50:24
  Speaker 2: could be. Truly anonymous, that's nice and they wouldn't turn on,
• 1:50:27
  Speaker 2: their camera they would change, the name but, they really
• 1:50:30
  Speaker 2: especially in the, early stages they really needed it just
• 1:50:33
  Speaker 2: to be there and to listen and to feel like
• 1:50:35
  Speaker 2: they were really downloading the truth and starting to.
• 1:50:38
  Speaker 1: Share THEIRS so.
• 1:50:39
  Speaker 2: I think it's it's a vital piece of. The PUZZLE
• 1:50:42
  Speaker 2: but I think i agree with you that if it's
• 1:50:44
  Speaker 2: going to become a long term part of, your recovery
• 1:50:46
  Speaker 2: which it often, CAN be i want you to be
• 1:50:48
  Speaker 2: connected to the other humans and really sharing space.
• 1:50:51
  Speaker 1: With, them yeah but.
• 1:50:52
  Speaker 2: It's a great first.
• 1:50:53
  Speaker 1: Step.
• 1:50:53
  Speaker 2: Too NICE so i think the point that we're all
• 1:50:55
  Speaker 2: trying to help the listeners understand Is that jesus, loves you,
• 1:50:59
  Speaker 2: you know and no matter what, you've done no matter
• 1:51:02
  Speaker 2: no matter what.
• 1:51:02
  Speaker 1: You've overcome actually. He, Doesn't okay i'll break the news.
• 1:51:06
  Speaker 1: To you jesus does not.
• 1:51:07
  Speaker 2: Love you, All, Right well god Does because god gave
• 1:51:10
  Speaker 2: his one and, Only, son jesus which was part of
• 1:51:13
  Speaker 2: his plan by, The, way.
• 1:51:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah well you know what it's, really about the holy
• 1:51:17
  Speaker 1: spirits Of The. Holy, spirit no what you need to
• 1:51:20
  Speaker 1: do is you need to Send otherwise jesus died.
• 1:51:23
  Speaker 2: For, nothing okay, all right you know. That's wow this
• 1:51:30
  Speaker 2: is mathematically.
• 1:51:31
  Speaker 5: Correctly logic but, you, know.
• 1:51:36
  Speaker 1: Fine but Also. Except, jesus okay let's me in.
• 1:51:39
  Speaker 2: The middle let's meet, of this have your rama, spring
• 1:51:42
  Speaker 2: up and then. Go ahead yeah, That's right, Thank. You
• 1:51:45
  Speaker 2: whitney you remember You, remember look it takes a. Mustard,
• 1:51:51
  Speaker 2: seed okay takes the. Needle, camel, well no we don't
• 1:51:55
  Speaker 2: talk about that Anymore.
• 1:51:56
  Speaker 1: In america we need.
• 1:51:59
  Speaker 2: The money, so anyway, good. LUCK writer i hope that you.
• 1:52:02
  Speaker 4: Find god Penn and teller did a great camel through
• 1:52:05
  Speaker 4: the eye of the needle routine by. The camel, yeah yeah,
• 1:52:09
  Speaker 4: Put oh teller Was the teller was dressed up as.
• 1:52:13
  Speaker 4: The camel it was a really. Good, routine yeah you
• 1:52:15
  Speaker 4: can find it.
• 1:52:15
  Speaker 1: ON YouTube i think that is a.
• 1:52:16
  Speaker 2: Great, bit well as we uh, oh no we're gonna
• 1:52:19
  Speaker 2: take one last break and when we, come back we
• 1:52:20
  Speaker 2: are wrapping up.
• 1:52:21
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• 1:52:23
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• 1:56:12
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• 1:56:14
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• 1:56:15
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• 1:56:17
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• 1:56:20
  Speaker 1: patreons can get into, the wedding not as, a guest
• 1:56:24
  Speaker 1: but in. THE party i actually brought that Up. TO
• 1:56:27
  Speaker 1: laura i think we can make ye pay for, the honeymoon.
• 1:56:31
  Speaker 1: For sure there's people that will absolutely.
• 1:56:33
  Speaker 3: Chip in apparently she does not want to turn this into. A. Joke,
• 1:56:37
  Speaker 3: interesting interesting and that's.
• 1:56:39
  Speaker 1: Not THE laura i thought. You, WERE man i did
• 1:56:41
  Speaker 1: not see. That, coming, No honestly i'm not Sure which laura.
• 1:56:44
  Speaker 1: He's married there are a lot of people around all,
• 1:56:47
  Speaker 1: the time a lot.
• 1:56:48
  Speaker 2: OF them i grew up with to a Lot of
• 1:56:50
  Speaker 2: laura's good, bye everybody a lot of People that.
• 1:56:53
  Speaker 1: Nick's fucking. That's true