Latest / Inspirations for Your Life / The Power of Steady Trust (S5) S28:E1

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The Power of Steady Trust (S5) S28:E1 · Inspirations for Your Life

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Well, hello there, everyone, and welcome to Inspirations
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to Real Life.
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First of all, guys, I do want to
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take the opportunity to wish everyone a very
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happy, a very healthy, prosperous 4th of July
1:00
and 250th birthday.
1:05
Your happy 250th birthday to America, yes, July
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4th.
1:12
When did July, did it start?
1:14
I guess everybody wants to ask that question.
1:16
So, 4th of July commemorated the adoption of
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the Declaration of Independence, was first celebrated on
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July 4th, 1777 in Philadelphia, the initial spontaneous
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celebration set a lasting precedence featuring a 13
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-cannon salute, bonfires, parades, and first officials' pyrotechnics
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exhibition.
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And the tradition had grown organically over the
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years, though it took nearly a century for
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the date to receive federal recognition.
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So yes.
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All right, guys.
1:47
So it is great to be with you
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here.
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If you're thirsty, if you're hungry, feel free
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to go grab something.
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If you have not heard about BelieveMeAchieve.com,
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go check that out after the show is
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over.
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You can get my short-form content, my
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long-form content, reels, and so much more.
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So without any further ado, guys, let's go
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ahead and kick this show off.
2:06
All right, everyone.
2:07
So, first of all, I am John C.
2:09
Morley, a serial entrepreneur, engineer, marketing specialist, video
2:12
producer, podcast host, coach, keynote speaker, graduate student
2:16
at Montgomery State University, passionate lifelong learner, and
2:20
now grateful, very grateful to be a published
2:23
author.
2:24
So our weekly master topic, that's what Saturday
2:27
means.
2:27
It's July 4th, it's a Saturday, and that
2:29
means we start with a brand new master
2:30
topic.
2:31
This is series five and it's show 28.
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And the master topic of the week is
2:36
the power of steady trust, building stability in
2:40
uncertain times.
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And this week focuses on how emotional stability,
2:45
internal trust, and patience and uncertainty create long
2:48
-term strength.
2:49
It is about learning how to remain grounded
2:52
when outcomes are unclear and how control often
2:54
creates pressure while trust creates clarity.
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The daily theme for today, series five, show
3:00
28, episode one, control ends, clarity begins.
3:05
So when control ends, clarity begins.
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This episode focuses on how releasing control allows
3:11
clarity.
3:12
Number one, guys, trust the process, even when
3:15
results are not visible yet.
3:17
There are moments in life where you are
3:20
doing everything right, or you appear to be,
3:23
but nothing looks like it's actually changing.
3:26
And that is where most people, well, they
3:28
quit, but a visible progress is still progress.
3:32
You're building something beneath the surface that will
3:34
only make sense later.
3:37
Trust allows you to continue without needing constant
3:40
proof, right?
3:41
When you order something at the restaurant, you
3:43
order a filet mignon, or you order another
3:45
kind of steak, or you order chicken or
3:47
anything else, or a hamburger, you don't keep
3:51
asking the waiter, is it coming?
3:52
Is it coming?
3:52
Is it coming?
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It's coming.
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Of course it's coming.
3:54
You believe it's coming.
3:56
You put the order in, you know it's
3:57
coming.
3:57
Number two, stability is built through belief, not
4:02
control.
4:02
A lot of people have that messed up.
4:05
Control depends on external conditions behaving correctly.
4:13
Belief does not make that an end all.
4:17
Belief is internal, which means it travels with
4:19
you even when circumstances change.
4:21
I think that's a part most people miss.
4:23
That's why belief creates stability while control creates
4:27
this fragility.
4:29
So belief is, let's say, the beginning energy
4:33
that gets everything else to roll.
4:34
Belief doesn't do everything, but it gets the
4:37
rest of you aligned to do what's needed
4:41
to achieve your goals.
4:42
Number three, guys, growth happens most in uncertain
4:45
conditions.
4:46
If life was predictable, you would never need
4:49
to adapt.
4:50
Uncertainty forces adaptation.
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And adaptation is where growth actually happens.
4:55
It's uncomfortable, but it is necessary for evolution.
4:58
I think that's something that we all need
5:00
to realize, that uncertainty is needed for success.
5:04
Even if we may not like uncertainty, it
5:07
is really part of how we get successful.
5:11
Number four, what feels like delay is often
5:15
development in progress.
5:16
Delays are not empty space, guys.
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They are active construction periods.
5:20
Even when nothing seems to be happening, systems
5:23
are aligning behind the scenes.
5:25
Skills are building, timing is adjusting, and you
5:28
are not waiting.
5:29
You are, yes, developing your life.
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Number five, letting go of control reduces internal
5:36
pressure.
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When you try to control everything, like so
5:40
many people do, your mind carries so much
5:42
weight and you start holding outcomes that are
5:45
not yours to really carry.
5:47
Release of control does not remove responsibility.
5:49
It removes unnecessary mental burden that blocks clarity
5:54
of arms.
5:55
Number six, uncertainty is not failure.
5:58
It is transition.
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Uncertainty feels uncomfortable because it removes structure, but
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it is not failure.
6:06
It is movement between stages.
6:08
Every transition feels unstable before it stabilizes again.
6:12
And it goes through a cycle, right?
6:13
I think that's an important part a lot
6:15
of us have to understand.
6:16
Number seven, you grow when you stop forcing
6:20
outcomes.
6:23
The outcomes are going to happen.
6:25
Just let them.
6:26
Forcing creates resistance, and resistance slows down natural
6:30
flow.
6:31
Growth becomes easier when you stop pushing outcomes
6:34
and start allowing systems to unfold naturally in
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the time that they're meant to.
6:41
I know a lot of people, they get
6:42
impatient, like they want things now.
6:46
But they don't realize sometimes things have to
6:48
get into alignment at the right time before
6:52
that can happen for you.
6:53
I know they always say there's no perfect
6:54
time, guys, but you always have to act.
6:57
That's probably one of the most important things
6:59
I could tell you.
7:01
You have to learn how to react, okay?
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But you have to do it in a
7:07
way that doesn't upset the apple cart.
7:10
So you've got to be basically proactive more
7:15
than you would be reactive, okay?
7:17
A lot of people get reactive when they
7:19
don't get what they want, okay?
7:21
Number eight, calm, cool thinking improves decision quality.
7:28
When your mind, calm, your process that you
7:32
do to, let's say, go over information, gets
7:41
clear.
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And emotional thinking distorts reality.
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Calm thinking refines it.
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That difference changes everything about the decision making
7:49
process.
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If you have a situation, maybe it's a
7:54
business, you don't actually do something because you're
7:59
upset, right?
8:00
You do it for another reason.
8:01
I think those are very, I think those
8:04
are important things that we need to adapt,
8:08
and we need to understand those things, okay?
8:11
Number nine, emotional control creates stability.
8:15
Stability is not about controlling external events.
8:17
Nope, it's about controlling internal reactions.
8:20
When your emotional response becomes steady, external chaos
8:24
loses influence.
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So when we lose chaos, okay, we get
8:33
more structure, we get more flow, we get
8:36
less resistance.
8:39
Number 10, progress is often invisible before it
8:43
becomes obvious.
8:44
And I know that is something that annoys
8:46
a lot of people.
8:47
Most growth happens between, well, certain times, but
8:53
also beneath the surface.
8:55
Habits, mindset, identi-ships, none of these are
9:00
immediately visible at the get-go.
9:03
But they are shaping your future long before
9:06
results ever start to appear.
9:09
Now, I have a question for you.
9:11
What if you could not control something?
9:15
What do you do?
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You don't panic.
9:18
What you cannot control should be released.
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Energy spent trying to control uncontrolled factors is
9:27
just wasted energy.
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But people don't get this.
9:30
They spend days and years, and they burn
9:32
themselves out.
9:33
When you release them, you reclaim focus for
9:36
what actually matters and what you can influence.
9:39
Let's focus on the things we can change
9:42
instead of trying to waste energy on the
9:44
things that we can't.
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And I know that sounds crazy, but really,
9:49
it's the truth, guys.
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It's absolutely the truth.
10:02
I think a lot of people don't understand
10:04
that whole concept, okay?
10:10
Don't understand what it means.
10:15
People understand one thing.
10:17
You know what that is?
10:18
They understand the moment, but a lot of
10:20
times, they get frustrated because the moment is
10:23
not where they want to be.
10:25
I think that's hard for some people because
10:27
it's not yielding the fruit that they expect.
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That's the truth.
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Number 12, clarity appears after acceptance.
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You do not find clarity by resisting reality.
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No.
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You find it by accepting it.
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Acceptance removes internal conflict and allows understanding to
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emerge.
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That's important, guys.
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Number 13, pressure reduces when expectation is lowered.
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High expectations without grounding create internal stress.
11:02
When expectations are balanced with reality, pressure decreases
11:06
and performance, well, improves.
11:10
Right?
11:10
When you take a load off something, it
11:12
tends to be a lot easier, doesn't it?
11:15
Less stress, less pressure.
11:19
And that's something that all of us can
11:22
learn from.
11:23
When we stop trying to control something and
11:27
allow it to flow, we'll find that we
11:30
have more control when we don't try to
11:32
control.
11:33
I know that sounds weird, but it really
11:35
is true.
11:36
Number 14, stability begins internally.
11:39
That means inside us, not externally.
11:42
No external situation can give you internal stability.
11:45
Stability is always built from within us first.
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Once internal stability exists, external issues become easier
11:53
to navigate.
11:55
Number 15, trust reduces overthinking.
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Overthinking is usually a sign of low trust.
12:03
Number 15, when trust increases, mental loops decrease
12:07
and clarity improves.
12:11
And I think when we start to get
12:13
clarity, we start to understand a perspective differently.
12:19
A light bulb goes off, an aha moment.
12:23
Like, oh, I can do this, right?
12:27
Number 16, fear decreases when control is released.
12:32
So why don't we just release control?
12:34
Fear is fueled, ladies and gentlemen, by uncertainty
12:37
plus the need to control outcomes.
12:40
So we can't do anything about the uncertainty,
12:42
but we can do something about our need
12:44
to want to control it.
12:46
When we have the desire to let go,
12:50
it becomes a little more manageable, doesn't it?
12:53
When control is released, fear loses its foundation.
12:55
It loses its transaction and its foundation and
12:59
its grip on us.
13:03
The harder you try, the more you want
13:08
to slip, right?
13:10
If you're rock climbing, rappelling, going down a
13:12
mountain, the harder you try to hold, the
13:16
harder it is to do it.
13:17
The more you do it easily, it's easier.
13:20
I'll give you another example.
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I do planks every day.
13:23
And the harder I try to hold a
13:25
plank, the harder it is.
13:26
The more I just try to hold and
13:28
just kind of just go with a relaxed
13:30
flow, the easier it is to be there
13:32
for a few minutes.
13:33
Number 17, you do not need certainty to
13:36
move forward.
13:37
Many people think you do, but you don't.
13:39
Waiting for full certainty delays action.
13:42
It creates procrastination, causes us to stall.
13:46
Most real progress happens with partial information.
13:51
Movement creates the clarity.
13:53
But again, the movement doesn't happen overnight.
13:57
It happens in time.
14:00
Number 18.
14:03
Number 18 is about something unique.
14:06
Our waiting time is part of preparation.
14:11
We can't skip it.
14:12
We can't cut corners around waiting.
14:14
Waiting is not an activity.
14:16
It is required.
14:18
It's preparation.
14:19
Systems are aligning during this time, even if
14:22
you cannot see them aligning.
14:24
You ever put money in or use a
14:29
card to get a drink out of a
14:31
machine, or maybe you go to a machine
14:32
to get ice cream.
14:33
Even though you can't see the mechanisms going
14:37
to make your ice cream right away, it's
14:40
happening, right?
14:41
And then bam, your ice cream comes out.
14:45
Number 19.
14:46
Resistance comes from control, not chaos.
14:50
Chaos is external.
14:52
Resistance is internal.
14:53
Let me see if I can explain it
14:54
again.
14:54
Chaos happens outside of your body.
14:57
Resistance is something we put on a stamp
15:00
from inside us.
15:01
Most stress comes from trying to control what
15:05
cannot be controlled.
15:09
People are going to have opinions every day.
15:11
And they may not agree with you.
15:13
So I have a good philosophy.
15:15
So like me, love me, and hate me,
15:16
and I still move on.
15:18
Okay?
15:19
It's not anything nasty.
15:22
It's just I am not giving anyone permission
15:25
to make me feel bad.
15:27
I've said it before.
15:28
No one has the right to make you
15:29
feel inferior about yourself.
15:31
So I don't agree with what they're saying,
15:33
or what they're saying actually puts me down.
15:36
I don't let it.
15:40
Number 20.
15:41
Flow begins when control ends.
15:46
And I said that to you, right?
15:47
That you get this flow when you start
15:50
to understand that you have to stop control.
15:53
That's crazy, but it works.
15:55
Flow state happens when resistance stops.
15:58
Remember, resistance comes from internal.
16:02
Chaos comes outside.
16:04
When control ends, a natural rhythm forms and
16:08
begins.
16:09
And it allows us to kind of get
16:12
through things, kind of like the breathing techniques
16:14
I share with you in my book.
16:16
Number 21.
16:17
Acceptance creates mental space.
16:20
When you accept reality, your mind is no
16:22
longer fighting it.
16:23
That creates space for better thinking.
16:28
I didn't say easier thinking.
16:30
I said for better thinking, better answers.
16:34
But this whole concept of knowing that chaos
16:37
comes from outside us and resistance comes from
16:41
inside us.
16:42
If we can stop the resistance, we probably
16:46
can almost squash the chaos.
16:48
Because chaos becomes a perception of how we
16:51
are acting with the world.
16:55
I was on a trip to see Big
16:58
Boy, you guys remember, with a few of
16:59
my friends several weeks ago, back in June.
17:02
It was like June 15th.
17:04
And I remember this one guy who was
17:05
part of the military.
17:07
And the line, it was going, but it
17:09
didn't have a form.
17:09
So he was like very irritable about this.
17:14
And I knew it eventually would work out,
17:16
right?
17:18
But he got so like uptight about it
17:22
that he built this resistance inside him because
17:26
of the chaos he was perceiving outside.
17:28
Now it appeared like things were in order.
17:30
But you know what?
17:31
They weren't.
17:33
And the more that people try to control
17:35
it, the more it got stressful.
17:37
The more that I stopped paying attention to
17:39
him, the more I noticed the time was
17:42
just dissipating and we're almost in.
17:45
People get like that because either they're in
17:47
the military or the army or something and
17:50
nothing bad about them.
17:51
But one of the things that these institutions
17:53
teach you is they teach you basically how
17:57
to erase the calmness.
18:00
And see, it's the calmness that keeps us
18:02
through things.
18:03
But the military, the army, they don't want
18:05
you calm.
18:05
They want you being on that fight or
18:06
flight.
18:07
But that's not good for our lives.
18:09
That's not good for our nerves.
18:11
But the military, the army, they don't care
18:12
about that or the Marines, okay?
18:16
Number 22, you cannot force timing.
18:19
No matter what you say, you cannot do
18:21
it.
18:22
Timing is not something you have control.
18:26
It is something you align with, yes.
18:28
Preparation matters more than forcing outcomes.
18:32
That's key.
18:33
Number 23, direction becomes clear when we are
18:39
in motion.
18:41
Clarity does not always come before action.
18:45
Often it comes after mood begins.
18:48
In our case, once the line started moving,
18:50
clarity started too.
18:52
Reveal itself.
18:54
But he was trying to manipulate the line,
18:56
like going back to the main person and
18:59
getting all upset and saying this person had
19:02
no clue.
19:03
He was getting the rest of people on
19:05
the line really upset because he was painting
19:09
a picture.
19:09
These people were trying very hard to do
19:11
their job.
19:12
He's the kind of person, if they went
19:13
to Disney and something wasn't going right, he'd
19:16
make everything about the fact that there was
19:19
this one mistake and this mistake was causing
19:21
a big operational nightmare.
19:24
It might have just been causing one little
19:25
tiny issue.
19:27
But he was the one causing the problem.
19:30
When I saw him inside, because we got
19:33
separated and I went a different way.
19:35
And I said, come see.
19:36
I said, I told you it would all
19:37
work out.
19:38
You just have to let things go.
19:40
You just have to go with the flow.
19:42
Number 24, anxiety comes from resistance.
19:46
And anxiety comes from what we're doing.
19:50
We're adding to our anxiety because resistance comes
19:53
from inside us.
19:53
So we're controlling that.
19:55
We're controlling how stressed we are by the
19:59
amount of resistance we're putting on something.
20:02
Anxiety is often created by the gap between
20:05
reality and the expectation combined with resistance to
20:10
the gap.
20:11
Let me see if I can explain this
20:12
a little better.
20:13
So you have somebody that wants to, let's
20:18
say, jump in the water.
20:20
And to jump in the water in a
20:23
normal pool, they would just jump, right?
20:26
But let's say, for example, there was people
20:30
in the way.
20:32
So now they would need to be around
20:35
those people or get around that resistance before
20:37
they could jump.
20:40
And you combine where you want to jump
20:43
and the fact that you need to avoid
20:46
the resistance of the people or the objects
20:49
or things around the pool so you can
20:50
get in and you're able to swim.
20:56
Number 25, trust is a stabilizing force.
21:01
It is.
21:01
Trust acts as an anchor in uncertain conditions.
21:05
It holds you steady when everything else shifts
21:10
or slightly pivots.
21:12
Number 26, letting go creates focus.
21:16
We talked a lot about this last week,
21:18
but a lot of these topics are cumulative.
21:21
You got to let go, guys.
21:22
We spent all last week talking about letting
21:24
go.
21:25
Here's the reason why.
21:28
Before you can build trust, you've got to
21:30
let go.
21:31
When unnecessary mental weight is removed, attention will
21:35
become sharper.
21:36
Focus will increase naturally.
21:38
Not saying you have to force, just happens
21:40
naturally.
21:41
Number 27, less control equals more clarity.
21:46
We've heard that before, haven't we?
21:48
So less control gives us more clarity.
21:51
It equals more clarity.
21:53
Over control creates mental noise.
21:57
Reducing control improves perception and our level of
22:02
understanding.
22:03
And I think that's another important one that
22:06
a lot of people don't get.
22:08
And again, this is coming, ladies and gentlemen,
22:09
from our resistance.
22:10
Nowhere else.
22:11
We're the one that is deciding whether we're
22:15
going to go with the flow or whether
22:18
we're going to try to go against it.
22:20
We have that sole choice inside us.
22:24
And I think that's amazing, right?
22:26
That's absolutely amazing.
22:27
Number 28, guys, uncertainty builds resilience.
22:33
Every uncertain situation strengthens your ability to adapt.
22:39
Resilience is built through exposure, not avoidance.
22:43
That's why we say do the hard stuff
22:45
first.
22:46
It'll make you stronger.
22:48
So the easier tasks will be so much
22:51
simpler.
22:52
Number 29, guys, growth requires surrender of control.
23:00
We're saying this in different ways, but I'm
23:01
hoping you get this.
23:03
You cannot evolve while trying to manage everything.
23:05
Growth requires openness, not rigidity.
23:09
You can't put walls up if you want
23:12
to grow.
23:13
That's why people in the military, the army,
23:16
the marines, they can grow on their track.
23:19
But when they leave that world, they're not
23:23
necessarily going to do well in the business
23:25
world because they're so rigid, right?
23:30
If they have somebody that wants structure, great.
23:32
But you need structure, consistency, but you also
23:35
need a little bit of flexibility.
23:38
People skills is not something that a lot
23:40
of them have.
23:42
And that gentleman from the trip, a big
23:44
boy, definitely proved that.
23:48
He wasn't annoying me, but I think it
23:50
was annoying a lot of people.
23:51
And finally, I just decided to stop paying
23:53
attention because you could tell he wanted control.
23:56
And I automatically knew, I said, you must've
23:58
been in the military, the army.
23:58
He says, yeah, he was a such and
24:00
such.
24:00
Okay.
24:01
And they always feel like they got to
24:02
control everything.
24:04
And you know, the truth of the matter
24:06
is, he tried so hard to control everything
24:08
and he actually was controlling nothing.
24:11
It was a complete illusion.
24:12
If he would have just let things go,
24:16
it would have been so much less stress
24:19
on his head.
24:20
But he believed he was making a difference
24:24
by going up to the window, yelling at
24:26
somebody, trying to figure out who's in charge
24:28
here.
24:28
And when he wasn't happy with the way
24:30
the structure was, he got upset and he
24:33
thought he would tell the rest of them.
24:35
And he got the rest of the line
24:36
upset.
24:38
Most people were just trying to do their
24:39
jobs.
24:39
Him telling us that the lady shouldn't even
24:42
been in her job.
24:44
Who is he to say that?
24:46
Number 30, guys.
24:48
Peace begins where control ends.
24:51
Now, I think that's enough of a reason
24:53
to let go of control.
24:55
We want peace.
24:57
We want flow.
24:58
We want it easy.
25:01
So let's have peace.
25:04
Peace is not created by perfect conditions.
25:08
Let's get that out of our head right
25:09
now.
25:10
It is solely created when the internal resistance
25:14
stops and trust takes over completely.
25:18
So in the case of this gentleman with
25:22
his kid and his wife and being in
25:24
this line, he would have just let his
25:26
resistance down.
25:27
He just allowed things to flow and easier.
25:32
When I let go of how long it
25:35
was going to take or how we're going
25:36
to get in, I knew we'd eventually get
25:37
there.
25:42
But he felt he had to control something.
25:45
He thought that by controlling something, he was
25:48
making a difference.
25:49
But you know what the real truth of
25:50
the matter is?
25:51
He wasn't controlling anything.
25:52
This was a complete illusion.
25:57
Could we say it's delusional?
25:59
Maybe.
26:02
But he felt good because this illusion told
26:08
his brain he made a difference when he
26:10
really didn't make a darn bit of difference.
26:13
So here's the truth, guys, as we close
26:15
out this wonderful July 4th day.
26:18
You do not become stable by controlling everything.
26:22
And if you think so, just give up.
26:24
You become stable by learning how to trust
26:27
when control is not possible.
26:29
Because you see, control creates pressure.
26:32
But trust creates clarity.
26:35
And when clarity returns, you see your next
26:39
step.
26:40
Most people are pushing to never trust anything.
26:49
So they miss that step, which is possibly
26:52
going to appear right before them.
26:56
The power of trust is a skill that
26:58
everyone needs to learn if they want to
27:00
be successful in life.
27:01
Ladies and gentlemen, I am John C.
27:02
Morley, serial entrepreneur, and this has been Inspirations
27:06
For Your Life.
27:07
And this is where control ends and clarity
27:11
begins.
27:12
My question for you, ladies and gentlemen, if
27:14
you're ready to stop being stressful and just
27:19
allowing things to go with the flow and
27:21
starting to trust that things are just going
27:24
to happen.
27:25
Because when you believe in trust, you look
27:29
for things to work out.
27:31
Instead of looking for things not to work
27:33
out, like this gentleman, he was looking for
27:36
things not to work out because the situation
27:38
he saw didn't work.
27:40
If I went there and I found that,
27:41
well, the lady didn't know what was going
27:42
on.
27:43
She tried, right?
27:46
It wasn't a case of, well, gee, let's
27:47
throw her under the bus.
27:48
Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you have a
27:49
happy, healthy, safe 4th of July day and
27:52
weekend.
27:53
We'll catch you guys on a brand new
27:55
show tomorrow.
27:56
Take care, happy 4th of July, and happy
27:58
250th birthday, America.