Latest / Two Broke Chicks / Things We Forget Are Normal

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Things We Forget Are Normal · Two Broke Chicks

0:00
Speaker 1: This podcast is recorded on gaddigal Land Always was, always
0:03
Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land, Hayti exigew and and we'll have
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Speaker 1: two Broke Checks to show that shares life lessons and
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Speaker 1: tips to make you rich in life. And today we're
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Speaker 1: talking about the things we forget are normal. Yeah, there
0:22
Speaker 1: was a video on this topic that went absolutely viral,
0:25
Speaker 1: and Sal and I wanted to share our own little
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Speaker 1: tidbits and things that we forget are normal. But before
0:31
Speaker 1: we get into the episode, we have to talk about
0:34
Speaker 1: our obsessions.
0:36
Speaker 2: So what are you obsessed with? Sally?
0:39
Speaker 3: My obsession of the week is the latest season of
0:43
Speaker 3: Queer Eye. Have you seen that I haven't, But it's
0:46
Speaker 3: got the new guy, right, Yeah, the new interior design expert, Jeremiah.
0:52
Speaker 4: And I always loved Bobby.
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Speaker 3: I love them all, but I did really love Bobby,
0:56
Speaker 3: so I was really sad to see him leave, and
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Speaker 3: you know, was wondering how Jeremiah was going to come
1:02
Speaker 3: in and you know.
1:03
Speaker 4: How the dynamics would changed. I'm obsessed.
1:06
Speaker 3: I honestly think nobody could replace Bobby in my heart.
1:09
Speaker 3: But I do think that out of all of the
1:11
Speaker 3: cast members, I relate to Jeremiah the most.
1:15
Speaker 2: It's got great style too. Yeah, we're going to talk
1:22
Speaker 2: about the air lefon and I think he's cateecute and
1:25
Speaker 2: I think it's I think it's gaming.
1:28
Speaker 1: But I just in the current current climate, there's lots
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Speaker 1: of bad things happening in the world, lots of things
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Speaker 1: to make us stressed, and if you need something to
1:37
Speaker 1: remind you that there is good in the world, put
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Speaker 1: on queer eye.
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Speaker 2: That's such a nice sentiment. I love that.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, what's your obsession?
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Speaker 1: My obsession of the week is a post I saw
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Speaker 1: from cash invest and it's an entire spreadsheet of high
1:51
Speaker 1: interest savings accounts. It's like a cheat sheet of bank
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Speaker 1: accounts to find which is the best one to get
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Speaker 1: the most interest on your savings.
2:01
Speaker 2: Wow, it's literally free.
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Speaker 1: She found it on Reddit and I'll put a link
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Speaker 1: in our bio to it and in the description. So
2:09
Speaker 1: what it is is you can open it up and
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Speaker 1: it compares all the different accounts from banks, and it
2:14
Speaker 1: also has a tab of the requirements, so if you
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Speaker 1: need to be within a certain age bracket, if you
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Speaker 1: need to save a certain amount to earn max, you
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Speaker 1: can on the interest, so it compares the minimum interest
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Speaker 1: you can get and the maximum interest you can get.
2:28
Speaker 1: And we often get questions about what's the best bank
2:32
Speaker 1: account to get the highest interest on your savings, and
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Speaker 1: we can't recommend because it borders financial advice. But this
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Speaker 1: is such a great way to do it because you
2:40
Speaker 1: can just compare it yourself into your own kind of situation.
2:45
Speaker 1: So whatever your age is, whatever your income is, whatever
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Speaker 1: you're planning on saving. I just think this is like
2:50
Speaker 1: the best way to figure it out and it's just
2:52
Speaker 1: such a good hack. So yeah, full credit to at
2:55
Speaker 1: tash and best for that one.
2:56
Speaker 2: I didn't what a sligh Yeah.
2:58
Speaker 3: I literally was having a conversation with Chris last night
3:00
Speaker 3: about how I want to do some.
3:01
Speaker 1: Research and I'll send you a link by switch. I
3:05
Speaker 1: was like, it's time, yeah, time to switch.
3:07
Speaker 2: It's time, It's time.
3:09
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, shall we get into the things that
3:11
Speaker 1: we forget are normal?
3:12
Speaker 2: Let's do it.
3:17
Speaker 3: My first thing that we forget is normal is feeling
3:21
Speaker 3: behind in life because if you're in your late twenties
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Speaker 3: or early thirties, especially your social media feed is very
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Speaker 3: likely and onslaught of people getting engaged, people getting married,
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Speaker 3: having children, buying property, having amazing highlights in their career promotions.
3:41
Speaker 3: That's fabulous. We love people celebrating their wins and achieving
3:44
Speaker 3: milestones in their life. But the downside of this is
3:49
Speaker 3: that it can often make us feel like we're lesser
3:51
Speaker 3: than or that we haven't achieved everything that we thought
3:54
Speaker 3: that we would buy a certain age, and we're constantly
3:57
Speaker 3: comparing ourselves to other people. I think this is a
4:00
Speaker 3: very common thing that happens as we enter our satin return,
4:04
Speaker 3: that period between you know, sort of twenty seven and thirty,
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Speaker 3: and you think this isn't where I thought I would be, But.
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Speaker 2: No one is, isn't it.
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Speaker 3: The issue is, though, if you are always feeling like
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Speaker 3: you're behind in life, you're focusing on the past and
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Speaker 3: the future and not the present.
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Speaker 4: So I just want to say it's totally normal.
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Speaker 3: But I also think that there are some reminders that
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Speaker 3: we should all keep in mind if you are feeling
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Speaker 3: like you're behind in life.
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Speaker 4: So reminders. If you feel like you're.
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Speaker 3: Behind in life, you physically can't be behind in your
4:40
Speaker 3: own life because it's your life and you are exactly
4:44
Speaker 3: where you were meant to be. Like on your path
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Speaker 3: in life, there is nobody in front of you.
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Speaker 4: Or behind you. It's just you, so that's physically impossible.
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Speaker 3: Secondly, you're only behind in life if you're yourself to
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Speaker 3: other people. And I think that is completely normal, especially
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Speaker 3: in today's day and age, when we are looking into
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Speaker 3: other people's lives so much more than what we would
5:12
Speaker 3: have been previously. But everybody is on their own journey,
5:16
Speaker 3: and people are sharing the highlights, the highlight reel on
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Speaker 3: social media and even with your friends, like, you don't
5:23
Speaker 3: know the things that they are going through, all the
5:25
Speaker 3: things that they're telling themselves in their head, or all
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Speaker 3: the mistakes that they've made to get to the thing
5:30
Speaker 3: that they've achieved, even like with some of the closest
5:34
Speaker 3: people in your life, so you're never getting the full
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Speaker 3: picture of what somebody has gone through to get to
5:40
Speaker 3: where they are in life. Also, stop comparing yourself to
5:43
Speaker 3: your parents. I think that's a big that people in
5:47
Speaker 3: our generation do, because if you look at where your
5:50
Speaker 3: parents were when they were thirty in comparison to where
5:53
Speaker 3: you might be in your late twenties and early thirties,
5:56
Speaker 3: it's probably very very different. But we are living in
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Speaker 3: completely different circumstances to what our parents were, and in
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Speaker 3: some ways that can be a frustrating thing, but in
6:07
Speaker 3: other ways that can be a really liberating thing.
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Speaker 4: If anything, I think that we have.
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Speaker 3: So much more choice and that should be normalized and celebrated.
6:17
Speaker 3: But also it is harder than ever to be a
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Speaker 3: thirty year old in Australia right now, and I want
6:23
Speaker 3: to play a clip to explain why is.
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Speaker 5: The hardest it's ever been for a thirty year old
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Speaker 5: illustrated in the Straights history. It is true thirty roles
6:32
Speaker 5: are going to be less well off than their parents are.
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Speaker 2: That's a fact.
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Speaker 5: It's a fact that when I was thirty, the house
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Speaker 5: cost me three times my salary. Now eight times plus
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Speaker 5: for a thirty year old is what it's going to
6:44
Speaker 5: cost you to get into the housing market. It's true
6:48
Speaker 5: that hex has doubled in the last fifteen years, right
6:52
Speaker 5: doubled from a fifteen thousand dollar bill to a thirty
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Speaker 5: thousand dollar bill. It's true that a baby boomer paid
6:59
Speaker 5: half the tax that a thirty year old pays now
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Speaker 5: when they were thirty years of age. So the reality
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Speaker 5: is it is extremely difficult to be a thirty year
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Speaker 5: old in Australia right now.
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Speaker 3: Vindication that clip is from the Growing transfer. By the way,
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Speaker 3: we'll put a link in the show notes so you
7:16
Speaker 3: can have a listen to it yourself. A bit black, No,
7:19
Speaker 3: another reminder.
7:20
Speaker 2: Thank you, one more done.
7:22
Speaker 3: But I'm not sharing that to make anybody feel depressed
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Speaker 3: or helpless or hopeless, but more to normalize the things
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Speaker 3: that we are going through as young people in Australia,
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Speaker 3: and that if you are looking at where your parents
7:35
Speaker 3: were in comparison to where you are now, that it
7:39
Speaker 3: is completely different, and to give yourself a little bit
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Speaker 3: of grace and forgiveness that maybe you haven't achieved all
7:45
Speaker 3: the things that they have, and that your life is going.
7:48
Speaker 2: To look completely different theirs. I love that.
7:51
Speaker 1: And can I just say, I am so happy that
7:55
Speaker 1: half of the things that I thought I would have
7:58
Speaker 1: or be at in my life at a certain age,
8:02
Speaker 1: I'm so glad half of those didn't even happen, Right, Like,
8:05
Speaker 1: I'm so happy that half the shit that I wanted
8:09
Speaker 1: when I was twenty one, or when I was twenty three,
8:11
Speaker 1: or when I was twenty five, that I thought I
8:13
Speaker 1: would have or be at, I'm so fucking glad that
8:16
Speaker 1: I'm not. Yeah, because everything that is supposed to happen
8:21
Speaker 1: in your life will and you'll end up where you're
8:24
Speaker 1: supposed to be, and you'll look back at like the
8:27
Speaker 1: most fucked breakup you've ever had, and you'll be like,
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Speaker 1: if that didn't happen, then I wouldn't have moved here,
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Speaker 1: and I wouldn't have met my best friends or my partner,
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Speaker 1: or I wouldn't have gotten my dream.
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Speaker 2: Job or whatever.
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Speaker 1: It is like the roadmap of your life will lead
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Speaker 1: you to where you're meant to be, and like, I
8:46
Speaker 1: think having faith in that is like one of the
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Speaker 1: best things you can do. My next thing that we
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Speaker 1: forget is normal is outgrowing friendships, not having a best friend,
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Speaker 1: and not having a friendship group. So, according to a
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Speaker 1: twenty fifteen study, social circles peak in size around the
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Speaker 1: age of twenty five, and then they begin to get
9:06
Speaker 1: smaller as responsibilities pile up. And I think this is
9:09
Speaker 1: so like when I analyzed my own life, I was like, yep,
9:13
Speaker 1: that checks out. Because on top of that, women lose
9:16
Speaker 1: more friends around that time than men.
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Speaker 2: And we do discuss this a lot in.
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Speaker 1: Our book, Finding Your People, but I really wanted to
9:24
Speaker 1: include it in this episode as well. After the response
9:27
Speaker 1: we got on an episode a few weeks back, about
9:31
Speaker 1: two weeks back with GEM and we shared the stat
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Speaker 1: that ninety one percent of people no longer call a
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Speaker 1: best friend their best friend anymore, because outgrowing friendships is
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Speaker 1: just such a normal part of life and whether it's
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Speaker 1: like incredibly heartbreaking and it's like a friendship breakup or
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Speaker 1: it's just a fizzle, like these things happen. And for
9:51
Speaker 1: so much of my life, I really put a value
9:56
Speaker 1: on how many friends I had, or whether or not
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Speaker 1: I had a best friend, or you know, how much
10:02
Speaker 1: my social life was busy, and if it wasn't, I
10:06
Speaker 1: felt really lesser then, and I felt like it was
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Speaker 1: such a reflection on me.
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Speaker 2: And it's just not the case.
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Speaker 1: And especially even like having a friendship group, like that's
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Speaker 1: not even the most positive thing that can happen, Like
10:21
Speaker 1: friendship groups can be incredibly toxic that you can end
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Speaker 1: up not being an individual, not being able to spend
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Speaker 1: time on your own and not having like an individual
10:31
Speaker 1: thought and just being like what would the group do?
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Speaker 1: Or we do this, or we don't really know them,
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Speaker 1: so we won't go to that, or you know, we're
10:38
Speaker 1: gonna go to brunch on Saturday. But we can do
10:41
Speaker 1: what you want to do after, like it just you
10:43
Speaker 1: stop being who you are sometimes.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's called group think.
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Speaker 1: It's like a psychological thing we talk about in the
10:49
Speaker 1: book highly recommend and that is something that it is
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Speaker 1: normal to not have those things sometimes, and it's better
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Speaker 1: to not have those things, better to not have a
11:01
Speaker 1: toxic friend or a toxic friendship group. And there is
11:04
Speaker 1: this really popular saying that can keep you comfort if
11:08
Speaker 1: you do relate to that, and it's that if you're
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Speaker 1: not outgrowing friendships, you're not growing up. You need to
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Speaker 1: be developing your values. You need to be developing yourself
11:17
Speaker 1: as your own little character and human and that part
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Speaker 1: of that is outgrowing friendships.
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Speaker 2: Yeah.
11:24
Speaker 1: And while this does tend to happen once you leave
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Speaker 1: high school, it's going to happen in your twenties and
11:29
Speaker 1: your thirties and your forties and so on and so forth.
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Speaker 1: That having a small group of friends or having one
11:36
Speaker 1: friend that's okay.
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Speaker 3: It can be hard to go through, but it's a
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Speaker 3: really comforting reminder.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, And the second you accept that, I promise you
11:46
Speaker 1: is the second that you will actually find the most
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Speaker 1: fruitful friendships of your life. The second that you're actually
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Speaker 1: okay with being on your own and being your own
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Speaker 1: best friend is when you will find the friendships that
11:56
Speaker 1: you will have for the rest of your life.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's when you're not going to settle for anything
12:00
Speaker 3: exactly like less. My next thing that we forget is
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Speaker 3: normal is not enjoying having fun Over the break, did
12:13
Speaker 3: you see that TikTok from Molly May that went viral
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Speaker 3: of her saying I just don't think I like having fun.
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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.
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Speaker 1: And she was talking about how when she goes on
12:28
Speaker 1: a big night out and you know, she's having drinks
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Speaker 1: and hanging out with a big group of people and
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Speaker 1: doing all these things that are fun and considered fun. Yeah,
12:39
Speaker 1: in quotations, she realized that she actually wasn't having fun
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Speaker 1: at all, and she doesn't like having fun. The things
12:48
Speaker 1: that she enjoys doing that are considered not fun or boring.
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Speaker 1: That's how she likes to spend her time.
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Speaker 2: Fun looks different to everyone.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, you don't have to like the things are typically
13:00
Speaker 3: associated with having fun.
13:02
Speaker 1: If you like to go out and you like to
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Speaker 1: drink and have a night out with the girlies and
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Speaker 1: be loud and larry and you find that fun.
13:10
Speaker 2: That's fabulous. Off same.
13:12
Speaker 3: Yeah, But also but also if you like to snuggle
13:16
Speaker 3: up in bed with a good book and go to
13:18
Speaker 3: bed at nine pm and then wake up the next
13:20
Speaker 3: morning and get a coffee and go to the markets
13:23
Speaker 3: and you find that fun, that's also fabulous. A lot
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Speaker 3: of the time if you say, oh, I'm not going
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Speaker 3: to go out, I want to stay in, or people
13:32
Speaker 3: ask what are you doing on the weekend and you say, oh,
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Speaker 3: I'm just going to stay at home and I'm going
13:36
Speaker 3: to clean my apartment and watch Drag Race, or I'm
13:39
Speaker 3: not going to drink tonight. I'll probably head off after this,
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Speaker 3: and people like, oh, you're no fun lighting up have
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Speaker 3: some fun. That can be really frustrating. You can also
13:49
Speaker 3: be sitting there being like, wait, am I not fun?
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Speaker 2: Like? Am I boring? Yeah? Like second guessing yourself, especially
13:54
Speaker 2: if you.
13:54
Speaker 1: Were younger and you did enjoy doing those things and
13:57
Speaker 1: now you feel like you've grown out.
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Speaker 2: Of it a little bit, You're like, what has happened?
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Speaker 1: Like?
14:02
Speaker 3: Am I not fun anymore? Are people going to think
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Speaker 3: I'm boring? And the right friends won't think that you're boring?
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Speaker 3: And I think that's a completely normal part of life
14:11
Speaker 3: to grow out of things.
14:12
Speaker 4: And even for these things to fluctuate.
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Speaker 2: Yes, that's exactly what I was going to say.
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Speaker 1: Like, there are periods of my life that I'm like
14:19
Speaker 1: such a social butterfly. I love like hanging out with
14:22
Speaker 1: friends and going out and like having barbecues and stuff
14:25
Speaker 1: like that. And then they're like, I think I've mentioned
14:28
Speaker 1: this before, but I have like my two week fucking pie.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, periods where I'm like, I.
14:33
Speaker 1: Just need to go in a shell and go in
14:35
Speaker 1: my dinner and cocoon and I'll be back in a.
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Speaker 2: Little bit exactly, like and that's so fine.
14:41
Speaker 4: Yeah.
14:41
Speaker 2: So it's a reminder that you are fun. Yeah, no
14:45
Speaker 2: matter what you like doing.
14:46
Speaker 4: Lean into that. And also, if your friend doesn't want.
14:50
Speaker 3: To drink and they want to stay in or they
14:52
Speaker 3: want to head home, don't say that they're boring or
14:55
Speaker 3: they're not fun.
14:56
Speaker 2: Imagine say just let them being like you're a bit yuck.
15:00
Speaker 4: Yeah.
15:01
Speaker 3: A lot of the time I think it's coming from
15:03
Speaker 3: a good place. People like I want you here, I
15:05
Speaker 3: want you out, but but it's not it's not nice.
15:09
Speaker 2: Yeah, I get that, love it. Okay.
15:13
Speaker 1: My next one that is totally normal is not having
15:18
Speaker 1: a passion. Yeah, so the pressure to find a singular
15:23
Speaker 1: passion can be incredibly overwhelming, but exploring different interests is
15:28
Speaker 1: part of the journey. So there's a common saying, but
15:31
Speaker 1: the full saying isn't normally said. And do you know
15:34
Speaker 1: what the full saying of Jack of all trades is?
15:37
Speaker 2: Yes, dear, no, I don't know the second half.
15:41
Speaker 4: And I know there's another. Okay, I don't tell me.
15:45
Speaker 2: Yes, actually not, I know that there's.
15:47
Speaker 4: Like it's a full sentence.
15:49
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, So the full saying of Jack of all
15:52
Speaker 1: trades is actually jack of all trades, master of none,
15:55
Speaker 1: though often times better than master of one. And so
16:01
Speaker 1: it's completely normal to not have just one singular passion
16:06
Speaker 1: in life. I think we get in our heads that
16:09
Speaker 1: we have to be really really good at one thing
16:11
Speaker 1: and we don't know what that one thing.
16:13
Speaker 2: Is, and we don't know who or what or what
16:15
Speaker 2: we want to be.
16:16
Speaker 1: Like think of when you were growing up, I wanted
16:18
Speaker 1: to be a chef, I wanted to be a vet,
16:19
Speaker 1: I wanted to be an author tic that one. But like,
16:22
Speaker 1: there are so many things that you can have multiple passions.
16:26
Speaker 1: Your passions can change, Like life is about experiencing so
16:31
Speaker 1: many different things and trying it and even enjoying it.
16:34
Speaker 2: For a little bit and then getting over it. If
16:36
Speaker 2: you were.
16:37
Speaker 1: Allowed to change your mind and you don't have to
16:39
Speaker 1: know what your passion is, just try things like it's
16:42
Speaker 1: just so much better. And there's this research from Stanford
16:46
Speaker 1: University that suggests that the concept of finding one's passion
16:49
Speaker 1: can be completely misleading. So these two psychologists found that
16:54
Speaker 1: individuals who view interests as developed over time in brackets
16:58
Speaker 1: a growth theory, are more open to new experiences and
17:03
Speaker 1: resilient when facing challenges. Conversely, those who believe passions are
17:08
Speaker 1: inherent and must be found, which is a fixed theory,
17:12
Speaker 1: may abandon pursuits when they become difficult.
17:15
Speaker 3: We feel a lot of pressure to have a purpose
17:17
Speaker 3: in life and be like, this is my one thing.
17:19
Speaker 3: I was born put on this earth to achieve this
17:22
Speaker 3: one thing.
17:23
Speaker 4: And then if you face a bump in.
17:24
Speaker 3: The road or you pursue it and you're like, actually,
17:27
Speaker 3: this is kind of bloring. I don't like this, not
17:30
Speaker 3: for me, Yeah, then you let it go and you
17:32
Speaker 3: feel like a failure. Whereas if you're letting these passions
17:37
Speaker 3: come to you as you explore them, then you can
17:40
Speaker 3: actually test and play and discover what you like rather
17:44
Speaker 3: than being like, no, I'm meant to be a writer,
17:46
Speaker 3: and that is it.
17:47
Speaker 2: Yes, I must be a poet.
17:49
Speaker 4: I can't spell.
17:53
Speaker 2: That's me. I don't have a writer. I still can't spell.
17:58
Speaker 2: That's why we have sub editors.
18:00
Speaker 4: God, let's sell it love.
18:03
Speaker 1: But yeah, I think if you are feeling like you're like,
18:06
Speaker 1: what the fuck am I supposed to do in life?
18:08
Speaker 1: I don't know what my passion is. I don't know
18:10
Speaker 1: what like makes me want to jump out of the
18:12
Speaker 1: bed in the morning. That's so fine because I actually
18:15
Speaker 1: think ninety nine percent of the world feels that way. Yeah, like,
18:19
Speaker 1: and that's okay. Just honestly, if you wake up, just
18:25
Speaker 1: try to leave the day a little bit better than
18:27
Speaker 1: when you started it. I think that's like the best
18:30
Speaker 1: way that you can have as a guiding light for
18:32
Speaker 1: life is just to leave the world.
18:34
Speaker 2: A little bit better.
18:36
Speaker 4: Yeah, don't put all of your eggs in one basket.
18:38
Speaker 1: Nah, get the whole get the whole box and throw
18:42
Speaker 1: them at different houses.
18:44
Speaker 2: Egg different people's houses.
18:46
Speaker 4: That's my purpose in life.
18:47
Speaker 2: Vandalism jokes.
18:52
Speaker 1: And I just had two quick little ones that I
18:54
Speaker 1: also wanted to finish on that are totally normal, and
18:58
Speaker 1: one well, my second last, needing attention.
19:02
Speaker 2: Yes, I am a needy little girl.
19:04
Speaker 1: I need words of affirmation, I need quality time, I
19:09
Speaker 1: need physical touch, I need it all. Yes, I'm an
19:12
Speaker 1: independent girlie and I can absolutely froth a Friday night
19:16
Speaker 1: on my own or a week or whatever that is.
19:18
Speaker 2: But I fucking love a little bit of attention. Give
19:21
Speaker 2: me a compliment. Yeah, no I can. I've never been
19:24
Speaker 2: one that hates compliments. No, no, I'm.
19:27
Speaker 1: Not like if you give me a compliment, I'm not
19:29
Speaker 1: getting shy. You're so right, I am gassed im like absolutely,
19:34
Speaker 1: what else?
19:35
Speaker 4: You got? A stude observation? One and another one and another.
19:39
Speaker 1: One, and then the next one that I want to
19:42
Speaker 1: finish on is feeling lazy. It is so normal to
19:45
Speaker 1: wake up and you just know it in your bones
19:49
Speaker 1: and you're like, today's not the day.
19:51
Speaker 4: It's not a day.
19:52
Speaker 2: You know, when you're at the gym and you're like
19:53
Speaker 2: ten minutes in and you're like this, fuck it sucks. Yeah,
19:57
Speaker 2: you know what, pick your shit up, go home.
20:00
Speaker 4: I had a day like that the other day.
20:02
Speaker 2: What did you do? I left?
20:03
Speaker 1: Yeah?
20:04
Speaker 3: Good, I don't want to be here.
20:07
Speaker 2: And I went every time I don't want.
20:09
Speaker 1: To be here.
20:10
Speaker 4: I really tried.
20:11
Speaker 1: I really tried to push the like maybe I just
20:14
Speaker 1: need to put the tap.
20:15
Speaker 4: I put the ten minute.
20:15
Speaker 1: Time around good girl, and I said it got to
20:18
Speaker 1: eleven minutes and I said, I'm gone.
20:19
Speaker 2: He said, us the love easta baby. Yeah.
20:21
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's totally normal to feel lazy. It's totally normal
20:24
Speaker 1: to not be productive and fucking life. Hack your entire
20:28
Speaker 1: day and like habit, stack and shower and go to
20:31
Speaker 1: planties and drink your water.
20:33
Speaker 2: If you're feeling lazy, give yourself the lazy day. It's
20:36
Speaker 2: so fine. Put the blind down, get into bed and
20:40
Speaker 2: go sleep.
20:41
Speaker 4: Yeah.
20:41
Speaker 3: And can I just say, if you're a person who menstruates,
20:44
Speaker 3: that is biologically built into.
20:47
Speaker 2: Us that there are maybe two weeks of the.
20:50
Speaker 1: Entire two hours of the month that you feel physically productive.
20:55
Speaker 1: And we're a program to think that we have to
20:59
Speaker 1: be productive at all times. There is a good two
21:02
Speaker 1: weeks of every month where you're going to feel low energy.
21:05
Speaker 4: Yeah, so leaning.
21:09
Speaker 2: Write it off? Yeah, all right, shall we get into
21:11
Speaker 2: advice with the chicks?
21:12
Speaker 1: Yes? Do you believe in right person, wrong timing? Dearest chickies.
21:21
Speaker 1: I found out my ex from a few years ago
21:23
Speaker 1: is back on the dating scene. I've known this for
21:25
Speaker 1: roughly two months now, but I can't shake the idea
21:28
Speaker 1: of him moving on. For context, we broke up because
21:32
Speaker 1: he said he wasn't ready to date, and to be honest,
21:34
Speaker 1: it destroyed me. I accidentally made out with him a
21:37
Speaker 1: few years back, drunk me whoop please, and a day
21:41
Speaker 1: or two afterwards we met up. He said he wanted
21:43
Speaker 1: to get back together. I rejected him, though, saying that
21:46
Speaker 1: it was an accident and that I had moved on
21:48
Speaker 1: and started dating again and so should he. However, this
21:51
Speaker 1: was a lie. I never went on any dates after
21:54
Speaker 1: we broke up. I thought that by saying I did,
21:57
Speaker 1: it would help us both move on emotionally. I kept
22:00
Speaker 1: repeating that narrative in my head, hoping it would eventually
22:02
Speaker 1: feel true. I was at a point in my life
22:05
Speaker 1: then where I was enjoying being independent. Now cut back
22:08
Speaker 1: to present day, where I've lived my best single life,
22:10
Speaker 1: learning to put me first and figuring out who I am.
22:13
Speaker 1: Have eventually dated a bit now too, lol, and I'm
22:17
Speaker 1: wondering whether we were a case of right person.
22:20
Speaker 2: Wrong timing.
22:21
Speaker 1: We have a semi similar friend group, so I do
22:23
Speaker 1: bump into him on occasion, but we never hold a
22:25
Speaker 1: conversation long enough, and I feel like I always get butterflies.
22:29
Speaker 2: Around him and become too awkward to talk. Sally, be strong.
22:35
Speaker 1: I'm about to see him at another social event, and
22:37
Speaker 1: I've got the urge to give him a letter, a
22:40
Speaker 1: love letter, perhaps, Sally, keep your cool, A love letter
22:45
Speaker 1: perhaps about how I regret what I said, and that
22:48
Speaker 1: I had wished I had told him how I really
22:50
Speaker 1: felt the day we met up.
22:52
Speaker 2: I wish I had said that he should find himself
22:54
Speaker 2: and when.
22:54
Speaker 1: He was ready to come find me. Side note, the
22:58
Speaker 1: letter is well and truly in my journal.
23:01
Speaker 2: It's giving unhinged.
23:02
Speaker 1: So obs now knowing that he is kind of getting
23:06
Speaker 1: to know someone else at the moment, is this a
23:08
Speaker 1: bad move? I can't tell if I'm only feeling this
23:11
Speaker 1: way out of jealousy that he's with someone and moving
23:15
Speaker 1: forward in a relationship before.
23:16
Speaker 2: Me, or if it's genuine feelings. Oh my god, this
23:20
Speaker 2: is getting so hard.
23:21
Speaker 1: I confided in a friend and they said, if I
23:24
Speaker 1: do reach out to him and the relationship with the
23:26
Speaker 1: other girl is something serious, there is a high chance
23:30
Speaker 1: that she will find out and that I don't want
23:33
Speaker 1: to be that girl who disrespects another fair point, especially
23:37
Speaker 1: with our friend group scenario and others possibly finding out too.
23:41
Speaker 1: But also, if I can picture myself married to him,
23:44
Speaker 1: then maybe it's worth the risk. I haven't fantasized about
23:48
Speaker 1: marriage to him in forever because after we broke up,
23:52
Speaker 1: I worked for a long time to let that all go.
23:54
Speaker 1: But now I've started thinking about it again and what
23:57
Speaker 1: I want in life.
23:58
Speaker 2: I'm at a crossroads.
24:00
Speaker 1: Oh my god, shit, I'm at the point now where
24:03
Speaker 1: I fantasized about this so much, picturing a new and
24:06
Speaker 1: mature relationship between us that I don't care if anyone
24:09
Speaker 1: finds out that I told him my feelings because there's
24:12
Speaker 1: a chance that they could be reciprocated. Am I at
24:15
Speaker 1: a dangerous point in my spiraling? Do I show signs
24:19
Speaker 1: of a crazy ex girlfriend? I'm wondering if I ride
24:22
Speaker 1: out these waves of familiar emotions and eventually they will
24:25
Speaker 1: wash over me. But what if they don't and then
24:28
Speaker 1: it's too late to say anything?
24:29
Speaker 2: What would you do? Thanks, gals, appreciate your input.
24:32
Speaker 4: Oh my god, my god, that was an emotional role.
24:36
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I feel so many different points.
24:41
Speaker 2: Say is like, give them the fucking letter, bitch. Ye,
24:45
Speaker 2: But I'm like, if you were his, like new booty
24:49
Speaker 2: you like. I feel so many different things.
24:53
Speaker 1: I don't know. I feel like, though, what my overriding
25:00
Speaker 1: emotion is that you have to say something, really, I
25:04
Speaker 1: think so, I don't know if the letter is the
25:08
Speaker 1: right way to go about it.
25:11
Speaker 4: I'm not sure.
25:12
Speaker 3: I would love to see a draft. I'm happy to
25:16
Speaker 3: read over it.
25:17
Speaker 1: Yeah, can you send them some suggestions proofread. But I
25:22
Speaker 1: just think that you might regret it if you don't
25:26
Speaker 1: say anything, like you might always wonder what if and
25:31
Speaker 1: even if he says it's not reciprocated.
25:34
Speaker 2: I really want to pursue that you can move on.
25:37
Speaker 2: You can move on.
25:38
Speaker 3: You at least know you put it out there, and
25:41
Speaker 3: then you can the fantasies will peter off. I think
25:43
Speaker 3: once you've got a conversation.
25:45
Speaker 1: The only thing I would say is that if you're
25:47
Speaker 1: friends with the girl that he's seeing, I wouldn't say anything. Yes,
25:51
Speaker 1: I think I like if you're friends, because I think
25:53
Speaker 1: that will just that will become too much exactly. Yeah.
25:57
Speaker 4: Yeah, I wasn't sure if she was a friend in
26:00
Speaker 4: the group.
26:00
Speaker 2: I know, I didn't get the vibe that they are.
26:02
Speaker 2: But I'm just definitely I agree coding with that.
26:06
Speaker 6: But yeah, I kind of want you to give him
26:10
Speaker 6: a letter, especially because you weren't honest about how you
26:14
Speaker 6: actually felt when you first said I don't want to
26:17
Speaker 6: be with you.
26:18
Speaker 3: You can apologize for not telling your truth and that
26:21
Speaker 3: you were trying to protect yourself and you know, and
26:25
Speaker 3: you can say like you don't have to reciprocate.
26:27
Speaker 2: Also, you're really funny.
26:30
Speaker 3: I love the way you wrote that. You really took
26:32
Speaker 3: us on a jymnel. So I feel like the letter.
26:35
Speaker 1: Is probably my God, can you send this for the
26:38
Speaker 1: letter or can you please tell us what happens?
26:41
Speaker 4: I don't know, am I choosing chaotic?
26:42
Speaker 2: Even am I telling her?
26:43
Speaker 1: I know?
26:44
Speaker 2: I feel like this is the first one that I'm
26:46
Speaker 2: like so stumped on. But like, if they are boyfriend
26:51
Speaker 2: and girlfriend, don't like.
26:55
Speaker 1: For me, it really depends on how early the stage
26:59
Speaker 1: is of this girl that he seeing. If they've been
27:01
Speaker 1: on like two dates, go for it, yeah, like I
27:04
Speaker 1: think given the letter, But if they are like if
27:06
Speaker 1: they've been dating for like six months, even like maybe
27:09
Speaker 1: even three months, I would potentially think about it because
27:14
Speaker 1: that's when like you don't want to like step into
27:18
Speaker 1: something that doesn't involve you, And like, then I think
27:21
Speaker 1: if that's the case, you need to let him go
27:24
Speaker 1: and date this person if they've been dating for like
27:26
Speaker 1: six months, and then if they break up, then then
27:29
Speaker 1: jump back in.
27:30
Speaker 6: Yeah.
27:30
Speaker 1: But like, I think it just depends on how developed
27:33
Speaker 1: that dating scenario that he's seeing someone is, yah, and
27:37
Speaker 1: making sure that you just remain respectful of that, because
27:40
Speaker 1: I completely understand what she's saying, being like I don't
27:42
Speaker 1: want to be like the crazy ex girlfriend, yeah and
27:46
Speaker 1: disrespect somebody else, So just keep that in mind. But
27:51
Speaker 1: if they've only been on like two dates.
27:52
Speaker 2: Give him the fucking letter girl.
27:54
Speaker 6: Yeah.
27:54
Speaker 1: And I know I'm also not like a no, don't
27:56
Speaker 1: get back with the next person, but sometimes it works out.
27:59
Speaker 1: I know I'm not normally like I'm normally like if
28:02
Speaker 1: it didn't work the first time, like, what's going to
28:04
Speaker 1: make it work the second time? I think I would
28:05
Speaker 1: also really like analyze that, like is it actually going
28:09
Speaker 1: to be different?
28:09
Speaker 2: Like have you changed? Has he changed? Why did you
28:12
Speaker 2: break up in the first time? Broke up with her?
28:14
Speaker 6: Yeah?
28:14
Speaker 2: Why did he break up? Then he wanted to get
28:16
Speaker 2: back together with her? Yeah. Well, even that, I feel
28:19
Speaker 2: like we're being very helpful. I wish I had.
28:23
Speaker 3: More detail, and I wish I knew like with circumstances.
28:27
Speaker 1: Give a thumbs up if you think she should give
28:29
Speaker 1: him the letter, or give her thumbs down thumbs down,
28:35
Speaker 1: she so stay out of it. Okay, maybe that's yeah,
28:40
Speaker 1: I've got my period.
28:41
Speaker 4: I feel like I'm emotional.
28:42
Speaker 1: Okay, I think yeah maybe, Oh no, do you know
28:47
Speaker 1: what as well?
28:47
Speaker 2: Okay, I need you to just I need you to
28:49
Speaker 2: make the decisions sound okay.
28:51
Speaker 3: What I will say is that she's got a lot
28:54
Speaker 3: of conflicting feelings here, and she's also mentioned that she
28:58
Speaker 3: doesn't know if she's just jealous.
29:00
Speaker 4: And there are two options here.
29:02
Speaker 2: It's either this one is a stunt.
29:04
Speaker 4: It does.
29:05
Speaker 1: It's either right person, wrong time, or you always want
29:10
Speaker 1: what you can't have. True. I think you need to
29:14
Speaker 1: sit down in a quiet room, light a candle and
29:19
Speaker 1: really assess do you actually want to be with him
29:24
Speaker 1: or do you want a boyfriend? And you miss what
29:27
Speaker 1: you used to have and now that he's with somebody else,
29:30
Speaker 1: you're like, oh.
29:31
Speaker 2: Fuck, we've done a one eighty, haven't we. Yeah?
29:34
Speaker 3: Okay, but I think, like, really, think about that, like
29:37
Speaker 3: asking you, honestly, during times in previous relationships for you
29:41
Speaker 3: where you've had conflicting feelings, do you think you knew
29:45
Speaker 3: deep down what the right thing was to do.
29:48
Speaker 4: Yeah, see what I'm saying, I do it. But that's
29:52
Speaker 4: what I mean. I think that deep down you know
29:55
Speaker 4: the right thing to do.
29:56
Speaker 3: And it might be a case of maybe you need
29:59
Speaker 3: to do a prop list, maybe you need to write,
30:01
Speaker 3: do some journaling something.
30:03
Speaker 1: The one thing I will add is that, like when
30:07
Speaker 1: I had an X break my heart and like we
30:12
Speaker 1: you know, played the get back together, don't get back
30:15
Speaker 1: together and the hot and cold thing, My one thing
30:19
Speaker 1: that I do wish I did was just leave it
30:22
Speaker 1: where it was when it did end, because I kind
30:26
Speaker 1: of just put my heartbreak into.
30:29
Speaker 2: Like after pay installments.
30:31
Speaker 4: Yeah.
30:31
Speaker 1: So sometimes as hard as it is to walk away
30:35
Speaker 1: from something that is actually the best thing for you,
30:39
Speaker 1: But please still.
30:40
Speaker 4: Send us the letter. Oh my god, maybe she should
30:44
Speaker 4: burn it.
30:45
Speaker 2: Burn the letter. Yeah, rip it out of your journal. Yeah,
30:48
Speaker 2: rip it out of your journal and burn it. Did
30:51
Speaker 2: I say sit there and look stupid?
30:52
Speaker 1: No, I said burn it.
30:56
Speaker 2: That was not a good advice.
30:58
Speaker 4: I'm so sorry.
30:59
Speaker 2: I think actually confused her more than when she started.
31:02
Speaker 1: I okay, ruling jury, what is your delivery?
31:07
Speaker 2: I think she's got to sit on it, and I think.
31:09
Speaker 1: You know what, if it's meant for, you'll find, it'll find,
31:12
Speaker 1: it will.
31:13
Speaker 2: Not be difficult. Yeah, okay, let's wrap it there. It's
31:17
Speaker 2: otherwise we can go back and forth. I agree.
31:18
Speaker 3: I'm really sorry for sending you mixed messages. I was
31:21
Speaker 3: going on emotional roller coaster.
31:24
Speaker 2: Yeah.
31:25
Speaker 4: I think I really got swept up in the rom
31:26
Speaker 4: com of it all.
31:27
Speaker 1: I still stand by the fact that if they've been
31:29
Speaker 1: on like one date, you can still shoot your shop.
31:31
Speaker 1: Thank you chicks for listening to another episode of two
31:34
Speaker 1: Broke Jig Jokes. So we love being in your ear holes.
31:37
Speaker 1: Big kisses, big smooches, and I hope this episode has
31:41
Speaker 1: felt like a little bit of a hug except for
31:42
Speaker 1: that last bit. Don't know what happened there, don't you pick?
31:46
Speaker 2: Don't you think?
31:47
Speaker 1: But thank you so much, we love you and yeah,
31:51
Speaker 1: we'll see you on Thursday for another chat.
31:54
Speaker 2: Another gorgeous chat.
31:56
Speaker 4: With the chicks. Bye bye, now bye. Thanks to MKA
31:59
Speaker 4: I made for making today's up. So it happened he
32:01
Speaker 4: is
32:10
Speaker 2: HM