Latest / The You Project / #1817 The Torture Of OCD - Brad McEwan

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#1817 The Torture Of OCD - Brad McEwan · The You Project

0:00
Speaker 1: Good champs, Welcome to another installment, The Year Project. Craig Anthony, Harper, Bradley,
0:05
Speaker 1: I'm going to go, Kevin, Patrick, Bryan mckipna. I've got
0:09
Speaker 1: no idea. Do you have a middle name?
0:12
Speaker 2: Yes? I do?
0:13
Speaker 1: Does it start with a vow?
0:16
Speaker 2: No? Oh?
0:18
Speaker 1: All right, what is it?
0:20
Speaker 2: Well, it's not that like. I'm not going to make
0:23
Speaker 2: it that easy for you. It starts with well, i'll
0:27
Speaker 2: tell you, I'll tell you, I'll tell you the letter.
0:30
Speaker 2: It starts with all right, yep, you will get it
0:34
Speaker 2: in the first couple of guesses.
0:36
Speaker 1: Yeah, starts with ah, Bradley Robert.
0:42
Speaker 2: Yep, well done. Yeah.
0:45
Speaker 1: You know you know how when you put names together,
0:47
Speaker 1: you're like, yep, yeah, it wouldn't have been Bradley Ryan
0:50
Speaker 1: or Bradley fucking Richard because that yeah, Bradley, Robert, Bradley
0:54
Speaker 1: Robert actually like Craig Anthony. I'm not a fan of Craig,
0:58
Speaker 1: but anyway, but Craig Anthony kind of goes together. Bradley
1:00
Speaker 1: Roberts goes together. So Ron and Mary my parents. You
1:05
Speaker 1: could have done better, but Brad's parents. Well done. Anyway,
1:09
Speaker 1: that's it. That's the You project. Everyone will be back tomorrow.
1:12
Speaker 1: Thanks Brad, it's.
1:12
Speaker 2: Been great, it's been bambulous, great mate.
1:16
Speaker 1: How are you?
1:18
Speaker 2: Yeah? Really good. I was actually just thinking today before
1:23
Speaker 2: we recorded this, the last time I was on the
1:25
Speaker 2: You Project.
1:28
Speaker 1: Well, my friend, I don't know is the answer to that.
1:32
Speaker 1: But I'm going to tell you, which might come as
1:34
Speaker 1: something of a surprise. This is terrible to do in
1:37
Speaker 1: real time, but fuck it. That's just how we roll
1:40
Speaker 1: here at the U Project because it's not radio. So
1:43
Speaker 1: today is episode one eight, So today we are up
1:47
Speaker 1: to So you and I will be one eight, one four.
1:50
Speaker 1: So yeah, eighteen hundred and fourteen episodes in and I
1:56
Speaker 1: would say you and I were, I would say lower
1:59
Speaker 1: than five. Have you done? How many of you done? One? Two, three?
2:02
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's been a while.
2:03
Speaker 2: I think about three.
2:05
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I would say it would have been more
2:08
Speaker 1: than two years ago, more than two years ago.
2:10
Speaker 2: But anyway we are. You're back, and I mean it's.
2:14
Speaker 1: Very hard to get to you because you have that
2:16
Speaker 1: front line of defense, what with with all your people,
2:19
Speaker 1: you know, your agents or the money people, the fucking
2:23
Speaker 1: the terms of agreement, there's so many forms. I mean,
2:26
Speaker 1: you don't make it easy for us little shitkickers to access.
2:29
Speaker 2: You do you know you have my number. You can
2:33
Speaker 2: call and I will answer every time. I have my
2:37
Speaker 2: partner who I do some work with, and we have
2:41
Speaker 2: our cat and our cat. I suppose if Muffin is
2:47
Speaker 2: our manager, she does the negotiating. She's gorgeous, she's tough.
2:52
Speaker 1: She's tough. She's also she doesn't pick up the phone either,
2:56
Speaker 1: so you know, but I'm not offended.
2:58
Speaker 2: No, she finds that quite difficult.
3:01
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, even if she does, she generally doesn't say much.
3:06
Speaker 1: Everybody's just tuned out and jumped up. No come back.
3:10
Speaker 1: How have you really been? Are you well? Are you phisic?
3:12
Speaker 1: Let's start with your mind and your heart and your body?
3:15
Speaker 1: How are those things?
3:17
Speaker 2: Well, mine's really really good. Heart is really good, as in,
3:24
Speaker 2: you know, a lot of love for a lot of
3:26
Speaker 2: things going on right now. After you know, the great
3:29
Speaker 2: shame worn passed away. I probably, like a lot of people,
3:32
Speaker 2: I went and did my heart test and jumped on
3:34
Speaker 2: the treadmill and there was a little weight to get
3:37
Speaker 2: in and cardiologists I think he referred to it as
3:41
Speaker 2: the shame worn effect, which you know, so many of
3:45
Speaker 2: us around that mid stage of our lives getting checked.
3:50
Speaker 2: But no, my heart's all good. My heart's all good
3:53
Speaker 2: and physically probly last time we spoke carrying a couple
3:57
Speaker 2: extra kilos.
4:00
Speaker 1: He's still For those who don't know, Brad and I
4:04
Speaker 1: met at Harper's The Wonderful World of I think we
4:08
Speaker 1: met there. We didn't meet before that, did we? No,
4:10
Speaker 1: we met there, And yeah, Brad used to train up
4:15
Speaker 1: at one of my gym's for a very long time.
4:16
Speaker 1: Do you still hit the gym?
4:19
Speaker 2: No? No, I was trying to sort of just soften
4:23
Speaker 2: the block. But no.
4:25
Speaker 1: You know, it's like when people haven't been for like
4:27
Speaker 1: eight years and they're like, look, you know, not that often,
4:30
Speaker 1: not as often as I should. No, not for the
4:33
Speaker 1: last eight years. So never, fucking never is the answer.
4:38
Speaker 2: Yeah, pretty much. But but but I do. I still
4:43
Speaker 2: enjoy swimming. In fact, I think I might go for
4:47
Speaker 2: a swim a bit later.
4:49
Speaker 1: What's the thing that for you? Because you're quite a
4:51
Speaker 1: deep and philosophical chap and what's the thing that for
4:58
Speaker 1: you the protocol or the process or the thing that
5:02
Speaker 1: grounds you, that calms you, that gets you in a
5:04
Speaker 1: really good place mentally and emotionally quicker than anything else.
5:11
Speaker 2: That's interesting that's interesting. As simple as it sounds, breathing,
5:21
Speaker 2: it's a few breaths every time I do it, like
5:24
Speaker 2: it goes from being a cloudy world to a sunny
5:28
Speaker 2: world in seconds. Yeah, seconds. Music exercise. When I say exercise,
5:39
Speaker 2: given that you pointed out that I don't get to
5:42
Speaker 2: the gym a lot like never, I just I love
5:47
Speaker 2: to walk. I love to walk, and I don't always
5:51
Speaker 2: listen to music because I do enjoy listening to the
5:54
Speaker 2: sounds around me. I really enjoy that. But when I've
5:58
Speaker 2: got an idea, I'm working a project on a project,
6:01
Speaker 2: and you know, I'll so on some of my seventies
6:06
Speaker 2: eighties sort of hits, and I really enjoy that. And
6:10
Speaker 2: the other thing that And I probably spoke about this
6:14
Speaker 2: last time and correct me if I did or didn't,
6:18
Speaker 2: but you know, I was being able to research into
6:22
Speaker 2: this recently. Have I spoken to you before about the
6:25
Speaker 2: power of kindness?
6:27
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, but I mean definitely worth revisiting.
6:33
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, you know, people can, they can look it up.
6:36
Speaker 2: But the reality is, you know, being kind to people
6:41
Speaker 2: is more powerful than most people realize. And Martin Seligman,
6:46
Speaker 2: who's the head of positive Psychology at pen University, in
6:49
Speaker 2: the US. Have a look online. There is his quote
6:53
Speaker 2: of all the things they've tested, the single most effective
6:57
Speaker 2: way to momentarily in somebody's well being lift they're well
7:02
Speaker 2: being is an act of kindness. And he's not just
7:06
Speaker 2: talking about you know, someone falls over in the supermarket,
7:09
Speaker 2: you pick them up, you help them, they feel great,
7:11
Speaker 2: You feel great because you've helped it. He's actually talking
7:14
Speaker 2: about everyone that he is about it or witnesses it.
7:17
Speaker 2: So look, I know, not that I obviously am kind
7:21
Speaker 2: to people, or the benefits that I get out of it,
7:25
Speaker 2: but I know when just every day and when it
7:27
Speaker 2: becomes habit and you just always make a big deal
7:30
Speaker 2: to the barrister and you thank them about the great
7:33
Speaker 2: coffee they've made, and you let people into traffic and
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Speaker 2: you just smile. It a byproduct, is I just feel
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Speaker 2: really good?
7:42
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, oh absolutely, I mean and especially when you know,
7:48
Speaker 1: we spoke yesterday on a podcast about when you understand
7:52
Speaker 1: what makes people feel loved as well. You know how
7:54
Speaker 1: the five love languages you've heard of that book, I
7:57
Speaker 1: guess no, yes, yeah, they just under standing. Like Brad's
8:01
Speaker 1: love language might be words of affirmation or physical touch,
8:04
Speaker 1: a hug or quality time or and then when you
8:08
Speaker 1: know somebody and you know, like my dad's the opposite
8:11
Speaker 1: of my dad's love language is physical touch, Like if
8:13
Speaker 1: you do not give run a hug, he doesn't want.
8:16
Speaker 2: It, right.
8:17
Speaker 1: But what he does love is what he loves is
8:19
Speaker 1: when I tell him he's great, he loves that, right.
8:23
Speaker 1: And so yeah, I think that being kind and trying
8:28
Speaker 1: to have some insight into what makes people feel loved
8:32
Speaker 1: and valued and seen, and you know, doing that with
8:38
Speaker 1: no agenda. You know, it's like it sounds strategic, but
8:42
Speaker 1: it's you know, just realizing that what will make somebody
8:45
Speaker 1: feel spectacular might not to the next person, you know.
8:49
Speaker 1: But I think kindness in general. You know. I remember
8:54
Speaker 1: last year holding the door open for a lady down
8:58
Speaker 1: the road at the and she said, I can hold
9:01
Speaker 1: it myself, thank you very much. And I went, huh
9:06
Speaker 1: noted tail between legs, off I go, and I just
9:11
Speaker 1: it was absolutely fine. It didn't. But I'm like, oh wow,
9:14
Speaker 1: I wonder because you know, maybe nine out of ten
9:18
Speaker 1: times I would do that for a guy or a lady.
9:21
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter, just a human, right. I didn't do
9:24
Speaker 1: it because she was a female. I did it because
9:27
Speaker 1: I got to the door first. We were both going
9:29
Speaker 1: in the same joint, so I stood back, held the
9:32
Speaker 1: door wide, and it bothered her. I'm like, okay, but
9:37
Speaker 1: it is funny that trying to understand someone else's reality
9:42
Speaker 1: and what's going to work for them, because it might
9:44
Speaker 1: not work what might work for you, or might what
9:47
Speaker 1: might for you be an active kindness for them could
9:51
Speaker 1: be you know, inappropriate, which is yeah.
9:56
Speaker 2: But you know, as you touched on there, everyone's different
10:01
Speaker 2: and you don't know what's going on in that person's life.
10:04
Speaker 2: You don't know what what happens at home, you don't
10:08
Speaker 2: know how her physical and mental health is, and you're
10:16
Speaker 2: not always going to get it right for that reason.
10:18
Speaker 2: But you can't control all of those things. But what
10:21
Speaker 2: you can control is your own behavior. And you know,
10:26
Speaker 2: even the fact, yes, you know, the woman felt, you know,
10:33
Speaker 2: like it wasn't appropriate for you to do that. She
10:36
Speaker 2: doesn't need a hand and okay, I understand that, But
10:40
Speaker 2: there's other people that witnessed you know, your active kindness
10:45
Speaker 2: and you being courteous, and it will have made them
10:49
Speaker 2: feel good. M So I think you've I think you've
10:53
Speaker 2: just got to be true to yourself and do what
10:58
Speaker 2: feels right underpset.
11:00
Speaker 1: I mean, you're going to have the human experiences, You're
11:02
Speaker 1: going to get things wrong, even if you're trying to
11:04
Speaker 1: get things right. You know, we talk about this. There's
11:07
Speaker 1: an idea in psychology Brad called theory of mind, which
11:11
Speaker 1: is basically just understanding how others think, you know, their
11:14
Speaker 1: version of reality. And yeah, it's a common thing, is
11:18
Speaker 1: that my intention might not be their experience. And so again,
11:23
Speaker 1: like that didn't bother me at all. I didn't think
11:25
Speaker 1: she was rude. I wasn't. I was, like you said before,
11:29
Speaker 1: I was. I was just curious. I'm like, oh, okay,
11:33
Speaker 1: you know, I'm still going to open the door for people.
11:36
Speaker 1: I'm not put up by that. And I get it,
11:38
Speaker 1: and it's all good. I don't expect her like she
11:42
Speaker 1: doesn't need to be how I expect her to be.
11:46
Speaker 1: And then no, she does not if I'm expecting something,
11:50
Speaker 1: and I get disappointed by her response, that's one hundred
11:54
Speaker 1: percent created by me, not her.
11:56
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, absolutely, And you know, one of the one
12:00
Speaker 2: of the simplest ways that I have found. And I
12:04
Speaker 2: really am amazed that I wasn't aware of this or
12:07
Speaker 2: I didn't think about this when I was younger. But
12:10
Speaker 2: maybe that's the wisdom that you get with age and
12:14
Speaker 2: experience and through making mistakes and having different relationships with people.
12:19
Speaker 2: Some continue and some don't continue. But you know, I've
12:25
Speaker 2: been doing some do you know what, I've actually been
12:29
Speaker 2: doing some earth moving recently the last couple of years.
12:34
Speaker 1: Which is speaking literally or metaphorically.
12:38
Speaker 2: Well, no, I'm actually it's a bit of both. Funny thing.
12:42
Speaker 2: So I'm not sure that we've spoken since my hometown
12:46
Speaker 2: of Rochester was flooded.
12:49
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know that we have. Definitely, I don't think
12:51
Speaker 1: we have.
12:52
Speaker 2: Well, you know, most people are listening, would have seen
12:57
Speaker 2: it on the news, read it in the newspaper, and look,
13:00
Speaker 2: the reality is two and a half years on, it's
13:04
Speaker 2: still a daily battle for a lot of people. I
13:07
Speaker 2: think there's a I think they said, you know, most
13:09
Speaker 2: of the sort of one thousand properties in in Rochester
13:13
Speaker 2: were severely damaged, if not written of, and I think
13:18
Speaker 2: there's something like two hundred homes haven't even been touched yet,
13:22
Speaker 2: so you know, and that you know, just even when
13:27
Speaker 2: I go home, you know, we'll put it this way, and.
13:32
Speaker 3: If the people, if I ever come across these people,
13:36
Speaker 3: you know, what I No matter how frustrated and angry
13:40
Speaker 3: I'll get, the reality is I'm not the kind of
13:42
Speaker 3: person to do anything anyway.
13:43
Speaker 2: I'm just, I suppose incredibly disappointed. So here's Rochester, you know,
13:48
Speaker 2: still dealing with the floods and going back there or
13:52
Speaker 2: a few months the tobacco shop in town was fire bombed.
13:58
Speaker 2: So now you've got but not only the Echo shop,
14:00
Speaker 2: but you've got two businesses either side that. Currently there's
14:06
Speaker 2: just a big fence around them. And we've had barricades
14:12
Speaker 2: and fencing up Bond damage buildings for two and a
14:15
Speaker 2: half years. And to have that happen on top of
14:20
Speaker 2: that to people listening and people not from there, you know,
14:25
Speaker 2: Rochester is a town that you drive through on the
14:27
Speaker 2: way to a chuca. Yeah but you know what, and
14:32
Speaker 2: this is starting the pleading obvious to me, it is
14:36
Speaker 2: home and to a whole lot of people it is
14:39
Speaker 2: home and it is their oasis and it is their
14:43
Speaker 2: place where they feel safe and on top of the floods.
14:50
Speaker 2: So then have a business in town by bond, you know,
14:56
Speaker 2: I just for example, the kids back home, you know,
15:00
Speaker 2: we had COVID and then and then those in year twelve,
15:05
Speaker 2: the sort of the last few months of the year
15:08
Speaker 2: twelve was hijacked because they're bustingto Bendigo every day because
15:11
Speaker 2: the school's closed now the hospital's only just open. But
15:15
Speaker 2: getting back to the earth moving, No, I'm not in
15:19
Speaker 2: an excavator and no I'm not lasering paddocks, although wouldn't
15:23
Speaker 2: mind having to go to be honest, but no, after
15:26
Speaker 2: the floods, good friends, a couple of brothers and their
15:30
Speaker 2: wives have got a business wards earth moving and it
15:35
Speaker 2: happened in the twenty eleven floods, it happened in the
15:37
Speaker 2: twenty twenty two floods. They've probably got fifty odd fellas
15:40
Speaker 2: that work and they got big jobs, big contracts, Murraygold
15:43
Speaker 2: and Water. They're putting in optic fiber from say albrit
15:48
Speaker 2: of Bendigo. A lot, a lot, a lot of big
15:51
Speaker 2: projects they've got on. But whenever the floods come, they
15:54
Speaker 2: just stop what they're doing and they go from house
15:57
Speaker 2: to house in Rochester and they they take out all
16:01
Speaker 2: the sudden underlay and the carpet and the furniture and
16:04
Speaker 2: then they put it out the front and then they
16:06
Speaker 2: go around they pick up all of the furniture and
16:09
Speaker 2: everything that's been ruined, which is pretty much everything, and
16:14
Speaker 2: they just and then all the plaster comes out, and
16:16
Speaker 2: then they go and pick all that up. And they
16:18
Speaker 2: do it because they care and it's their home and
16:21
Speaker 2: it's their community. But you know, one of the fellas
16:25
Speaker 2: in management they're called me or coming up two years
16:29
Speaker 2: ago and he just said, look, Brad, you know in
16:31
Speaker 2: your role as a Beyond Blue ambassador and a mental
16:34
Speaker 2: health advocate, and you know your experience and lived experience
16:39
Speaker 2: which many people know that you know, my family has
16:45
Speaker 2: been severely impacted by mental health over the years. So
16:51
Speaker 2: they said, look, if you're up for it, would you
16:54
Speaker 2: be giving us a hand? So you know what I do.
16:57
Speaker 2: I drive home. It was sort of every fourt we've
17:00
Speaker 2: managed to but now we're sort of looking at every
17:02
Speaker 2: once a month. My mate calls me the smoke o
17:06
Speaker 2: delivery guy. I drive. I just I'll find out where
17:11
Speaker 2: everyone's working. There might be ten guys at Caiabram. There
17:15
Speaker 2: might be five guys over at Cobram. There might be
17:18
Speaker 2: three guys at Leechville. There might be half a dozen
17:22
Speaker 2: guys over your Bendigo at Raywood. And I just go
17:26
Speaker 2: and see them all and you know what I do.
17:29
Speaker 2: I just talk, I just listen. I just ask how
17:33
Speaker 2: they're going. And I don't have to I don't have.
17:37
Speaker 4: To say anything because the fact that I'm there in
17:44
Speaker 4: a heartbeat, it says to the people that are working there,
17:48
Speaker 4: and a lot of them are my friends, and if
17:49
Speaker 4: they weren't, they are now is I care about you?
17:54
Speaker 4: And by extension, it says that the organization you know,
17:58
Speaker 4: Mark and Peter and.
18:00
Speaker 2: And Kate and Helen Day care about you, and their
18:02
Speaker 2: families care about you, and that is fact. That is fact.
18:05
Speaker 2: And those organizations that you know still continue to put
18:11
Speaker 2: the profits before people. I feel quite sad that they
18:17
Speaker 2: don't understand. They don't understand that, you know what, you
18:21
Speaker 2: put the people first, the profits will just come. How
18:24
Speaker 2: do I know that? There are some things Craigs, as
18:27
Speaker 2: you know, there are some things you just you just know,
18:31
Speaker 2: you know. I used an example recently. I was doing
18:33
Speaker 2: a talk. When I first left media and started, you know,
18:37
Speaker 2: doing a bit of what you're doing. I mean, you know,
18:40
Speaker 2: just to be one tenth of you would be fantastic.
18:43
Speaker 2: But anyway, you know, I'd go out there and I'd
18:48
Speaker 2: have my PowerPoint slides and whatever. Now did I like
18:51
Speaker 2: having PowerPoint slides? Nah, But they were my safety net,
18:56
Speaker 2: you know, in case I felt like I didn't have
18:58
Speaker 2: enough content to talk talk about. But now I never
19:03
Speaker 2: use slides ever because I have so many stories and anecdotes,
19:09
Speaker 2: and I use props and humor and this and that
19:12
Speaker 2: and all of the you know, the array of little
19:15
Speaker 2: goodies that we have in our we have in our
19:17
Speaker 2: kit bag. And that's one of the things. You know,
19:19
Speaker 2: when I talk to people about mental health, I say,
19:21
Speaker 2: you know, the three most important things have got lived
19:24
Speaker 2: experience stories because our brains are hardwired to remember stories.
19:29
Speaker 2: And the other one is humor. They go, what humor?
19:33
Speaker 2: Talking about mental health talking about things like depression, anxiety, suicide,
19:37
Speaker 2: And I go, yeah, I know, I know how serious
19:41
Speaker 2: it is. Our family knows how serious it is, lost
19:44
Speaker 2: family members, friends. But if it's not at least a
19:49
Speaker 2: little bit enjoyable, how are you ever going to connect
19:52
Speaker 2: with people? And it's it's about how we connect, and
19:56
Speaker 2: so many of us connect through humor. I was doing
20:00
Speaker 2: a talk at wood End there last year, and I
20:03
Speaker 2: had a bit of a bit of a croaky throat.
20:06
Speaker 2: You know, I wasn't feeling the best, but managed to
20:08
Speaker 2: get up off the bed and I went along and
20:12
Speaker 2: sold it on. Yeah, And I was talking to the
20:16
Speaker 2: It was rural financial support group that go around and
20:21
Speaker 2: help out people on a lot of them on the
20:23
Speaker 2: land who are doing a taf YadA yahya with droughts
20:26
Speaker 2: and you know, prices of wool and sheep and crops
20:30
Speaker 2: and everything else. And I didn't have any slides or anything,
20:35
Speaker 2: and I just thought, Baggert, I actually feel now ready
20:39
Speaker 2: to be one hundred percent me. So I started to
20:42
Speaker 2: tell everyone. I said, do you want to hear about
20:44
Speaker 2: my water pistol theory? And everyone's looking at me, thinking, oh,
20:49
Speaker 2: this guy is a bit of a weirdo. But I
20:52
Speaker 2: went and I proceeded to tell them this is what
20:55
Speaker 2: I would do if I was running a big organization.
21:00
Speaker 2: I would sit down with everyone and I would say, right,
21:03
Speaker 2: starting this week, once a month, we are going to
21:07
Speaker 2: have an initiation ceremony. Maybe those of you with kids
21:13
Speaker 2: in primary school, they can do up some little contracts
21:17
Speaker 2: for us, and they can also draw some little badgers.
21:22
Speaker 2: So let's say half a dozen people for the next
21:26
Speaker 2: week they are going to be our designated water pistol
21:31
Speaker 2: police and people listing that weren't thinking I'm you know, weird,
21:40
Speaker 2: and now thinking oh no, it's quite weird. But bear
21:44
Speaker 2: with me. So what happens is these people have license,
21:47
Speaker 2: let's say nine o'clock at night, they get to roam
21:52
Speaker 2: around the building with the water pistol. Just make sure
21:55
Speaker 2: you fill it up at the tap keeck. It's working,
21:59
Speaker 2: and they get to walk around. Now, if somebody is
22:02
Speaker 2: at their laptop or at their computer and they're still working,
22:06
Speaker 2: you get to say to them, okay, water person, pull
22:10
Speaker 2: these hands off the keyboard, and they go, hang on,
22:15
Speaker 2: hang on, I've just got to finish this. I've just
22:17
Speaker 2: got to finish this. No, you know the rules. I'll
22:20
Speaker 2: give you three seconds three two one boom, And if
22:23
Speaker 2: they continue to work, you're getting with the water pistol. Now,
22:33
Speaker 2: people say, oh, that's not going to happen, and I say, well,
22:36
Speaker 2: number one, why not? And you don't physically have to
22:40
Speaker 2: go to that length go to those lengths, but in
22:43
Speaker 2: an instant, right, that's the culture of a place. And
22:47
Speaker 2: you know exactly what I'm saying, Craig. That person turns
22:51
Speaker 2: off the computer. He walks out of the building with
22:54
Speaker 2: a smile on his face, and this beautiful feeling in
22:58
Speaker 2: his heart because he thinks to himself, this place cares
23:04
Speaker 2: about me and the person. The water pistol officer says, hey,
23:09
Speaker 2: we figure the most important. You are the most important
23:12
Speaker 2: person to us, and we figure the most important people
23:15
Speaker 2: to you or your family. Go home. Now. There will
23:18
Speaker 2: always be exceptions where people there are deadlines and people
23:23
Speaker 2: are going to be working extra hours and whatever. But
23:26
Speaker 2: you know what happens. You leave an organization that has
23:30
Speaker 2: that culture and that attitude. You wake up in the
23:33
Speaker 2: morning and this is not why you initiate the culture, clearly,
23:37
Speaker 2: but you wake up the next morning and you drive
23:40
Speaker 2: to work and you walk in with a smile on
23:43
Speaker 2: your face. Because, as I say to anyone, how do
23:47
Speaker 2: you miss something? How do you miss someone? If you
23:52
Speaker 2: never leave it, you never leave them, It's impossible to
23:58
Speaker 2: miss it. I am people first every time.
24:03
Speaker 1: I love it. I one of the things I mean,
24:06
Speaker 1: like you, I do a lot of corporate and I
24:08
Speaker 1: ask the bosses he or she manages leaders. I say,
24:14
Speaker 1: do your staff like coming to work? And they're like what,
24:18
Speaker 1: I go, do they like coming?
24:20
Speaker 2: Like?
24:20
Speaker 1: Do they want to be here? And another question that
24:24
Speaker 1: I ask is what do you think it's like being
24:28
Speaker 1: around you, like what do you think you which is
24:32
Speaker 1: in a relevant to my research and my study, right,
24:34
Speaker 1: but trying to like I do about one hundred talks
24:39
Speaker 1: a year in corporate, about one hundred presentations, everything from
24:44
Speaker 1: generally forty five minute keynotes through to full days, right,
24:48
Speaker 1: And a lot of it is really around you know,
24:52
Speaker 1: culture and communication, connection, problem solving, leadership, team work, all
24:56
Speaker 1: that stuff, right. But I never really talk about business.
24:59
Speaker 1: I just about people. And I was on a call
25:04
Speaker 1: this week. I obviously can't say with whom or but
25:09
Speaker 1: the person I was talking to said, look, we really
25:11
Speaker 1: need to be seen. We need to be seen to care.
25:15
Speaker 1: I said, no, you need to actually care. Not It
25:21
Speaker 1: was almost like and I and they went, oh yeah, yeah,
25:24
Speaker 1: of course. It was like almost like we need to
25:27
Speaker 1: pretend like we care so that they feel valued. I know,
25:30
Speaker 1: don't fucking pretend actually care. And it's that It is
25:33
Speaker 1: really interesting because sometimes I get on a call and
25:38
Speaker 1: they think I'm I'm going to come in and kind
25:41
Speaker 1: of reset the business somehow, and I go, I'm not
25:44
Speaker 1: actually going to talk about the business. I'm going to
25:45
Speaker 1: talk about all the people who drive the business, you know,
25:48
Speaker 1: and even if it's a tech business, it's still driven
25:51
Speaker 1: by humans. And every human's got a personality and an
25:54
Speaker 1: ego and emotions and mind and conditioning and programming and
25:57
Speaker 1: fears and expectations and emotions, and just trying to understand,
26:04
Speaker 1: like we can build a thriving organization that's commercially successful,
26:08
Speaker 1: perhaps wildly so, while also genuinely caring about the people
26:13
Speaker 1: in the middle of it, not pretending to care. Let's
26:17
Speaker 1: create a culture that people want to be in. Let's
26:21
Speaker 1: create an experience that people love to be in the
26:25
Speaker 1: middle of. I interviewed, do you remember Sally O'Connell who
26:29
Speaker 1: used to work for me?
26:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember sales.
26:32
Speaker 1: She loved it, so sells a big deal. Now sells
26:34
Speaker 1: a big deal. She's the.
26:37
Speaker 2: Real estate or something.
26:38
Speaker 1: She's in real estates.
26:40
Speaker 2: Yep, yep.
26:41
Speaker 1: She's got a fancy job. She's going great. And the
26:43
Speaker 1: nicest thing that anyone said to me in a while
26:46
Speaker 1: is she said when I loved loved working at Harper's
26:49
Speaker 1: because she was a trainer back in the day, and
26:51
Speaker 1: she said it was just an amazing environment. Every day
26:55
Speaker 1: was fun. I loved going to work. I just loved
26:58
Speaker 1: being part of all of that, and for me, that
27:02
Speaker 1: makes me way happier than how much dough we made
27:05
Speaker 1: or how many bodies we changed, or all of those
27:08
Speaker 1: things are kind of KPIs. But when someone who worked
27:11
Speaker 1: in your business says that was the best work culture
27:15
Speaker 1: I've ever been in me, I'm like, yeah, I did.
27:18
Speaker 1: I did at least one good thing one percent.
27:22
Speaker 2: And it's just so lovely to have a yeah, that
27:25
Speaker 2: sense of belonging, that sense of connection. You're part of
27:30
Speaker 2: a club, You're part of a group, and you know,
27:33
Speaker 2: that's one thing I'll openly say I missed when I
27:36
Speaker 2: left mainstream media. You know, I had them talking of
27:42
Speaker 2: mental health and all things associated. I had a really,
27:47
Speaker 2: a really delightful experience the other night. A friend asked
27:51
Speaker 2: if I wanted to go and see a play or
27:55
Speaker 2: a production at Maltause. Theer it was called Flicker, and
27:59
Speaker 2: it was written a woman and it was it was
28:02
Speaker 2: a dark comedy and it was written by a woman
28:06
Speaker 2: in the UK and it just it was hugely popular
28:09
Speaker 2: at the Edinburgh Festival, and it was about her ongoing
28:13
Speaker 2: struggle with obsessive compulsive disorder, which you and I have discussed,
28:18
Speaker 2: and you're offside of Melissa, we've we've discussed, and it
28:22
Speaker 2: was what was really interesting were a lot of the
28:25
Speaker 2: people involved that were either performing or in the crowd.
28:32
Speaker 2: We all went to support them. My friend that invited me,
28:36
Speaker 2: he has OCD, I have OCD. And what it really
28:40
Speaker 2: touched on was the obsessive, random, often really disturbing thoughts
28:49
Speaker 2: that a lot of us with O c D have.
28:52
Speaker 2: And anyway, they were just at the end they you know,
28:54
Speaker 2: you could ask questions or just give a bit of feedback,
28:56
Speaker 2: and I made a point of standing up sort of saying, hey,
28:59
Speaker 2: look you because you know, I as a young kid
29:03
Speaker 2: growing up in rural Victoria and having you know, these
29:08
Speaker 2: crazy thoughts or you know, these rituals that would take
29:11
Speaker 2: hours and hours and hours and hours to complete just
29:17
Speaker 2: because my head told me I had to do them
29:19
Speaker 2: or something terrible would happen. I just said thanks to everyone,
29:25
Speaker 2: because you know, at fifty three, Craig, that was the
29:29
Speaker 2: first time I've ever been in a room with a
29:35
Speaker 2: whole lot of people that have a similar obviously different
29:40
Speaker 2: in some ways, but a similar story to myself in
29:44
Speaker 2: regards to my anxiety. And you know what, it felt
29:49
Speaker 2: really nice. It felt really nice too. To know that
29:56
Speaker 2: people are looking at you and they get it, you
30:01
Speaker 2: get them.
30:03
Speaker 1: Well, it's probably the first time that you've ever been
30:06
Speaker 1: in a room with lots of people where you, the
30:10
Speaker 1: dude with OCD, is the normal person, Like you're the
30:15
Speaker 1: majority in the room, you know, like if I went in,
30:18
Speaker 1: I would have been the odd man out.
30:20
Speaker 2: Yeah, and clearly not everyone in the room had OCD,
30:24
Speaker 2: but those of us in the room. You know, it
30:27
Speaker 2: was actually really gorgeous afterwards, and you know, I caught
30:30
Speaker 2: up with someone I know not very well, and then
30:32
Speaker 2: I caught up with someone else. Actually I caught up
30:35
Speaker 2: with I'll tell you how I did. Catch up with
30:40
Speaker 2: Penny Moody, who is Hugh Van Kylenberg's wife, and she
30:44
Speaker 2: wrote a book that I haven't read, The Joy Thief,
30:49
Speaker 2: And you know, just to meet Penny and just like
30:55
Speaker 2: you'd introduce yourself, Hi, Hey, going yeah, do you have OCD? Yeah?
30:59
Speaker 2: Do you have both? Oh yeah? And we're comparing stories,
31:03
Speaker 2: you know, of our adolescents and a lot of stories
31:08
Speaker 2: that I'm not going to miss mentioned on your podcast.
31:12
Speaker 2: But gee, it was, you know, going back to what
31:16
Speaker 2: we're talking about about caring. I mean, you just you
31:19
Speaker 2: didn't have to meet everyone in the audience or those
31:22
Speaker 2: that were performing to know that, you know, there was
31:26
Speaker 2: a lot of a whole lot of care, whole lot
31:28
Speaker 2: of compassion and empathy and love, yeah, love in the room.
31:33
Speaker 1: Can I ask where are you at? With that? Now?
31:38
Speaker 1: I don't even really know the right question, but I
31:40
Speaker 1: know that when you were a kid, which we spoke
31:43
Speaker 1: about quite a bit with Melissa in that episode. I
31:46
Speaker 1: might try and find that episode and shout it out
31:49
Speaker 1: to you everyone, because it's just that was such a great, insightful, fascinating,
31:54
Speaker 1: vulnerable chat that we had around Brad's teenage years and
31:59
Speaker 1: other years. But so, if let's say that your OCD
32:03
Speaker 1: was at a ten, then where are you at now?
32:07
Speaker 1: If that's not a stupid question?
32:10
Speaker 2: No, no, it's not a stupid question. To be quite honest,
32:18
Speaker 2: it's a ten, but daily it's a three or a
32:24
Speaker 2: four because I now take medication right every day and
32:29
Speaker 2: just highlighting even to me the power of our minds,
32:34
Speaker 2: our brains and the way we think. Until I took medication,
32:39
Speaker 2: I was never ever, ever, ever ever able to break
32:48
Speaker 2: my rituals or say to myself, no, no, it's just
32:54
Speaker 2: in my head. Don't worry about it. I just I couldn't.
32:57
Speaker 2: It was just too overwhelming. Whereas now I take medication
33:03
Speaker 2: every day, and even when I am being very anxious
33:07
Speaker 2: and I can sort of feel some of those rituals
33:10
Speaker 2: or thoughts beers coming on, I'm able to go, hey,
33:18
Speaker 2: this will pass. This is uncomfortable, but it will pass.
33:23
Speaker 2: And you know, for those of those people listening that
33:26
Speaker 2: know exactly what I'm talking about, I actually just I
33:29
Speaker 2: saw this pop up on Instagram today and I thought, Wow,
33:35
Speaker 2: this really does sum it up, and it was where
33:39
Speaker 2: is it from? It was from navigating OCD. OCD can
33:43
Speaker 2: make you doubt number one, your memories, to your morality,
33:48
Speaker 2: your relationships, your sexuality, your diagnosis, your reality, your mind,
33:54
Speaker 2: your identity, your sanity, number ten, absolutely everything, and every
34:02
Speaker 2: one of those ten I know I've experienced every one. Wow,
34:13
Speaker 2: And you know what the reality is my you know,
34:16
Speaker 2: my psychiatrist said I was sort of severe to sort
34:21
Speaker 2: of mid range, and you know, I am acutely aware
34:25
Speaker 2: that there's a whole lot of people with OCD that
34:28
Speaker 2: is so so debilitating that you know, they can't get
34:34
Speaker 2: out of the house or it's a real struggle go
34:36
Speaker 2: I know, back pre medication, just getting out of the
34:40
Speaker 2: house and checking everything. You know, the stove. I checked
34:42
Speaker 2: the stove, I don't know, fifty times. Then you finally
34:46
Speaker 2: get out of the house, you lock the door, check
34:48
Speaker 2: the doors locked twelve times. And then I get ten
34:51
Speaker 2: meters down the road and I go but what is
34:54
Speaker 2: the stove really off? Yeah? And then I go back again.
34:58
Speaker 2: And this those people that know exactly what I'm talking about,
35:03
Speaker 2: this is every day of your life. And I was
35:10
Speaker 2: my psychiatrist describe me as like I was a high
35:14
Speaker 2: functioning someone who suffered from OCD. I managed to hide it.
35:19
Speaker 2: But you know, here's something I really only thought about recently.
35:23
Speaker 2: And this might sound bonkers, and I don't use that word.
35:29
Speaker 2: I use it in an endearing kind of way because
35:31
Speaker 2: I've sort of got to laugh sometimes because it helps
35:33
Speaker 2: me deal with it. But all those years of sitting
35:37
Speaker 2: on a news desk, when I was sitting next to someone,
35:42
Speaker 2: you know what, it was good when there was a
35:44
Speaker 2: breaking story, and you know, I was very busy and
35:47
Speaker 2: I had to rewrite things and so forth, because it
35:50
Speaker 2: would take my mind away from my anxiety. But one
35:56
Speaker 2: of the thoughts that would consume me often was I'd
36:02
Speaker 2: sit up on the desk and I'd have a very random,
36:06
Speaker 2: disturbing thought where I'd think, imagine if I just went crazy. Now,
36:11
Speaker 2: imagine if I just, you know, attacked someone. Now, I've
36:17
Speaker 2: never hurt anyone in my life, and I never would physically.
36:21
Speaker 2: I'm no way, I just I just will not accept
36:25
Speaker 2: violence in any any form. But you know, here I
36:31
Speaker 2: am up, the camera's about to go on to me,
36:34
Speaker 2: and the news reader says, now with the sports Brad,
36:37
Speaker 2: And I've got this going over and over in my head,
36:41
Speaker 2: thinking what is wrong with me? What is wrong with me?
36:43
Speaker 2: Why am I thinking that? Would I actually do that?
36:45
Speaker 2: Surely I'd never do that. Now, after talking to mental
36:49
Speaker 2: health professionals for a number of years, almost every time
36:54
Speaker 2: the thought never actually happens. Yes, and most of us,
36:59
Speaker 2: I think, have these very random thoughts. But when you
37:02
Speaker 2: have OCD, it you can't stop thinking about it, and
37:09
Speaker 2: it really disturbs you because you start thinking like that
37:14
Speaker 2: list I said, who am I? What am I do
37:17
Speaker 2: I want to hurt? No? I don't. But the random
37:21
Speaker 2: thoughts that so many people on the planet can dismiss,
37:25
Speaker 2: those of us with OCD, we can't. We find it
37:30
Speaker 2: really really really hard. So you know what I tell anyone,
37:34
Speaker 2: I take medication every day. And you know, I have
37:37
Speaker 2: had a couple of experiences where older people say look
37:41
Speaker 2: at me and go, well you tell people that, and
37:44
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, yeah, it's not my fault. That's the
37:47
Speaker 2: way I was born, like just like I was born
37:49
Speaker 2: with red air and lots. Actually I wasn't born with
37:52
Speaker 2: the freckles. They came once I popped out into the sun.
37:56
Speaker 2: But it is who I am. And you know what
37:58
Speaker 2: we talk about being just by the fact that I
38:03
Speaker 2: talk about my anxiety and my mental health and taking
38:07
Speaker 2: medication daily, I don't need people driving around or listening
38:12
Speaker 2: to this podcast at home or while they're walking whatever.
38:16
Speaker 2: I don't need them to say, hey, thank you. You
38:19
Speaker 2: have just put a smile on my face. You've made
38:21
Speaker 2: me feel better. I feel like you and I have
38:24
Speaker 2: a connection. I know that that's how a lot of
38:27
Speaker 2: people are going to feel because that's how I feel.
38:31
Speaker 1: Wow, can I ask with so? Firstly, when I think
38:36
Speaker 1: about by the way, if you if you don't know
38:40
Speaker 1: who Brad is, some of you won't. So Brad work
38:44
Speaker 1: for a long time on Channel ten. It was doing
38:49
Speaker 1: the sport and was it national or just Victoria.
38:52
Speaker 2: Well it was Victoria. But then I hosted Sports Tonight
38:56
Speaker 2: out of Sydney for seven years with my dear buddy
39:02
Speaker 2: Sandra Sully, who I caught up with last Friday. We
39:05
Speaker 2: co hosted the Chamberlain Foundation Ray Chamberlain and his brothers
39:10
Speaker 2: Brian and Peter. They do a lot of great work
39:13
Speaker 2: raising money and awareness around mental health. And Ray said, oh, gee,
39:18
Speaker 2: ten years when Norly have a lunch, you know, the
39:20
Speaker 2: dream would be, let's have a black tied dinner. And
39:22
Speaker 2: I wonder if we could get you and Sandra back
39:24
Speaker 2: together and just highlighting what a beautiful person Sandra is.
39:28
Speaker 2: I said, Hey, what do you think of this? Sandra goes, yeah, cool, great.
39:33
Speaker 2: So she flew down here. No, it wasn't paid or anything.
39:37
Speaker 2: Flew down Friday night. We were at the Ritz Carlton
39:41
Speaker 2: and we had a fantastic night. We raised a whole
39:44
Speaker 2: lot of money. But you know, Sandra and I have
39:49
Speaker 2: these conversations. You know, it's just really really.
39:53
Speaker 1: I love it. I love it. I love Ray. By
39:56
Speaker 1: the way, He's been on the show a couple of
39:58
Speaker 1: times and we've caught up for a coffee or two
40:00
Speaker 1: he's a good human. I wanted to ask. Yeah, like,
40:04
Speaker 1: it amazes me that you had that. You know, the
40:07
Speaker 1: story about that some people would have just heard for
40:09
Speaker 1: the first time with the stove on and off fifty
40:11
Speaker 1: times and the door twelve times, driving down the road
40:13
Speaker 1: and not fucking l was the actual And then back
40:16
Speaker 1: then the guy who's well for at least seven years,
40:19
Speaker 1: but twenty or twenty five years on TV all up
40:22
Speaker 1: or whatever it was, but in front of a national audience,
40:26
Speaker 1: like for the average punter who doesn't have anxiety, who
40:30
Speaker 1: doesn't have OCD, For the average punter, that would be
40:34
Speaker 1: fucking paralyzingly terrifying. But the guy with OCD and anxiety
40:41
Speaker 1: does that seemingly effortlessly.
40:47
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a bit like a duck though on the water,
40:49
Speaker 2: isn't it underneath? You know, there's a fair bit going on.
40:52
Speaker 2: But you know, you touched on me. People might see
40:57
Speaker 2: what I did from their living rooms and and I'm
41:00
Speaker 2: on the TV. But anxiety is what I was battling.
41:06
Speaker 2: There are people listening they too, probably everyone, in fact,
41:13
Speaker 2: everyone at some point in their lives is also battling stumpthing. Yes,
41:22
Speaker 2: it might be a number of different things. And you
41:26
Speaker 2: know that quote about everyone is battling something that we
41:31
Speaker 2: can't see, we don't know about, Well, that was mine.
41:34
Speaker 2: And you know, I paint the picture of the difficult days.
41:38
Speaker 2: You know, there were far more great days, and the
41:42
Speaker 2: glorious days far out white weighed the really difficult days.
41:48
Speaker 2: And I remember sitting with my psychiatrist one day and
41:50
Speaker 2: she looked at me, and it was quite funny, actually,
41:53
Speaker 2: because I always try and to have a good laugh
41:55
Speaker 2: when we're in there. She said, Brad, why have you
41:58
Speaker 2: done anything about this till now? And I said, you
42:02
Speaker 2: know why? Because it was my normal. I didn't know
42:07
Speaker 2: anything else. It's like if somebody had told me since
42:11
Speaker 2: I was a kid and forever in a day, this
42:14
Speaker 2: guy's actually green, and I'd say yeah, but and they
42:18
Speaker 2: go no, no, no, no, I know you think that color is blue,
42:20
Speaker 2: but it's actually really green. Who am I to question that?
42:25
Speaker 1: Yes? Yeah, yeah, you know that's that's your normal, that's
42:28
Speaker 1: your that's my normal.
42:29
Speaker 2: You know in high school, you know, I have this
42:34
Speaker 2: thing where and I sort of still do. Actually, I
42:37
Speaker 2: mean most of my my rituals they're still there, but
42:43
Speaker 2: they they are softened considerably through the through the medication.
42:48
Speaker 2: I remember getting up a couple of years ago for
42:51
Speaker 2: a walk. Maybe I was walking to the gym so there,
42:54
Speaker 2: that would have been a while ago. And it was
42:58
Speaker 2: like it was five thirty in the morning and for
43:00
Speaker 2: a walk, and I got home it was about an
43:05
Speaker 2: hour and twenty walk. And I thought, this particular morning,
43:08
Speaker 2: I thought, you know what, from the time I get
43:10
Speaker 2: up to the time I get back from the walk,
43:13
Speaker 2: checking things. If I walked to the left of the post,
43:16
Speaker 2: something will happen to Maum. If I walk to the
43:19
Speaker 2: right of the post, something will happen to my sister. Therefore,
43:23
Speaker 2: I can't win. And these things are going on while
43:26
Speaker 2: I'm out walking. I think I got home and I
43:28
Speaker 2: think there was something like seventy odd instances or moments
43:35
Speaker 2: that morning, And that was before seven o'clock where I
43:38
Speaker 2: actually was in my own little world orchard thinking I
43:45
Speaker 2: have to make a choice here. And the reality is
43:48
Speaker 2: none of it was real, but in my head it
43:52
Speaker 2: was real. And then, you know, prior to leaving media,
43:58
Speaker 2: and then I go into work and talk about the
44:00
Speaker 2: your story of the day or the cricket story of
44:02
Speaker 2: the day, and and you know, one thing I want
44:04
Speaker 2: to emphasize, Craig, this is not well with me, far
44:07
Speaker 2: from it. But my whole point about talking about my
44:11
Speaker 2: lift experience is I know how it much it helps
44:15
Speaker 2: other people. And for those people out there that have OCD,
44:19
Speaker 2: or have a family member or a friend someone that
44:24
Speaker 2: really struggles with OCD, you know, I'm sending you big hugs.
44:28
Speaker 2: And if you ever see me, just dick, just maybe
44:33
Speaker 2: let me know first, and then just hey, I'm a hugger.
44:36
Speaker 2: I'm a hugger, and you know, if I can ever
44:39
Speaker 2: help with anything, I'll always help, always help.
44:43
Speaker 1: And if you can, everyone come up from behind and
44:46
Speaker 1: just spoon it in a big spoon, little spoon. So
44:50
Speaker 1: when you're going to do something like this, which is
44:53
Speaker 1: very very underwhelming compared to television, and you're talking to
44:58
Speaker 1: an old friend and it's the you know, next to
45:01
Speaker 1: no pressure. But when you're doing something like this and
45:05
Speaker 1: we're jumping on the call at three point thirty and
45:08
Speaker 1: it's three twenty five, is there any apprehension, any anxiety,
45:14
Speaker 1: any rumination or zero?
45:19
Speaker 2: Zero? Yeah, great, zero, Because this is I'm talking to
45:27
Speaker 2: someone I've known for coming up twenty coming up three decades.
45:33
Speaker 2: We're talking about something I'm passionate about I don't I'm
45:38
Speaker 2: not frantically running around the newsroom getting a story prepared
45:43
Speaker 2: for the news. And don't get me wrong, I really
45:45
Speaker 2: really enjoyed that for the vast majority of my time
45:50
Speaker 2: in in media, and I'm helping people as well. So
45:54
Speaker 2: and the sun shining through the window. I just had
45:57
Speaker 2: a really lovely coffee. I think I'll go for a
46:00
Speaker 2: swim later. I won't begun to the gym, but I
46:02
Speaker 2: think I'll go for a swim. And that's one thing
46:06
Speaker 2: I find as I get older. You know, I spoke
46:08
Speaker 2: at the start, you asked me what grounds me? You know,
46:12
Speaker 2: I'll I'll walk home from the pool. And it's weird,
46:18
Speaker 2: isn't to think that I haven't been in the pool
46:20
Speaker 2: as much or hardly ever, to be honest, But I
46:24
Speaker 2: would say, let's throw out a number. If I've had
46:27
Speaker 2: a swim three hundred thousand, seven hundred and sixty four
46:33
Speaker 2: times in my life, I have got out of the
46:37
Speaker 2: pool and felt better physically and significantly mentally. I have
46:43
Speaker 2: felt better on every occasion. Wow, and big problems beforehand
46:52
Speaker 2: were now little problems. And the bird song was just
46:57
Speaker 2: that bit louder and I was noticing just the wind
47:02
Speaker 2: just sort of passing around me and through the trees,
47:08
Speaker 2: and I would notice people smiling. Yeah, and you can
47:13
Speaker 2: never underestimate just to smile what it does, you know.
47:16
Speaker 2: I was at a Beyond Blue event last year and
47:23
Speaker 2: a woman was talking about, you know, she had struggled
47:28
Speaker 2: with severe depression since before she was a teenager, and
47:32
Speaker 2: she said, you know, on the days and weeks where
47:37
Speaker 2: she's at her worst, it's the people around her, usually
47:43
Speaker 2: complete strangers, that give her the confidence and the trust
47:48
Speaker 2: that things will be good again. The people that wave
47:50
Speaker 2: good morning, hello, how are you going have a great day.
47:55
Speaker 2: It's those little morsels of of kindness that get her
48:03
Speaker 2: through the darkest periods.
48:06
Speaker 1: Hmmm, yeah, I love that. We've got to start to
48:10
Speaker 1: wind up, But you better tell us what you're doing now,
48:13
Speaker 1: because I mean, we've had a we've had a good update.
48:16
Speaker 1: But what's got your attention and what's got your energy
48:19
Speaker 1: these days?
48:20
Speaker 2: Well? Isn't it funny how the way life works and
48:25
Speaker 2: people listening know that, you know, sometimes you do things
48:28
Speaker 2: and it just doesn't sort of jel it doesn't quite
48:30
Speaker 2: feel right. And you know what I'm doing now? And
48:34
Speaker 2: I would say, this is by far the most rewarding
48:38
Speaker 2: and enjoyable activity I've ever done in my life. I'm
48:44
Speaker 2: essentially doing I'm creating TV shows. Well I wouldn't TV shows.
48:54
Speaker 2: Elements of TV shows just about people. So and what
48:58
Speaker 2: it came about. It's called UNI And in this instance
49:03
Speaker 2: the subheading is stories, so it's universal stories. So why
49:08
Speaker 2: owe you like that you project? This is universal stories?
49:14
Speaker 2: So it's meeting people and finding it about their stories.
49:18
Speaker 2: You know a lot of the topics are universal love,
49:23
Speaker 2: you know, family, food, this, travel, work. But what I
49:30
Speaker 2: love is everyone has a unique story. And what I'm
49:34
Speaker 2: focused on when I'm interviewing someone, I am purely focused
49:37
Speaker 2: on them. So if I'm talking to you, I'm focused
49:41
Speaker 2: on you, hence the name universal. So what I do
49:47
Speaker 2: is I go out and you know, it's normally parents
49:50
Speaker 2: or grandparents who you know, I suppose you know in
49:54
Speaker 2: their latter years, and it came about. I'd love to say,
49:57
Speaker 2: Craig that it was my idea, but a friend back
50:01
Speaker 2: home wrang me out of the blue a couple of
50:04
Speaker 2: years ago and said, would you be interested in interviewing
50:05
Speaker 2: mum and dad? Now we did, and his father has
50:10
Speaker 2: since passed and then his cousin contacted me a couple
50:16
Speaker 2: of months later and I'm like, oh, you were talking
50:17
Speaker 2: to Stuart he won the same thing. And he goes, no,
50:21
Speaker 2: what and I said no, no, no, no, hang on, hang on,
50:24
Speaker 2: you're telling me you've just thought of this as well.
50:26
Speaker 2: He goes yeah, and then he couldn't believe it that
50:29
Speaker 2: when his cousin had asked me to do the same thing,
50:32
Speaker 2: and then another mate asked me to do it, and
50:35
Speaker 2: it was that mate that said, hey, look, I think
50:38
Speaker 2: I think if this is something that you really wanted
50:40
Speaker 2: to sink your teeth in, people are going to love it.
50:45
Speaker 2: And it all came about because that initial friend, Cray,
50:48
Speaker 2: your friend of his, said that, you know, he doesn't
50:51
Speaker 2: have regrets in life except for one, and that was
50:53
Speaker 2: that he didn't he didn't capture his mum and dad
50:56
Speaker 2: on camera. Their personality is then does the stories while
51:02
Speaker 2: they were here and they have since passed away. So now,
51:07
Speaker 2: to be quite frank, what do I do I have
51:10
Speaker 2: afternoon tea or morning tea with people? Now there's a
51:15
Speaker 2: food element here because I do love my food. We
51:17
Speaker 2: were thinking of calling it a Slice of Life, but
51:20
Speaker 2: it's universal stories, but we always start with a slice
51:25
Speaker 2: of life because it's a slice of their life, and
51:29
Speaker 2: so I get to try lots of different food, I
51:32
Speaker 2: meet people. If anyone is interested, you can just jump
51:36
Speaker 2: on the website Universal dot com dot au Yo Universal.
51:44
Speaker 2: You can contact me that way and go to the bottom.
51:46
Speaker 2: You'll see an interview that it's just a snippet of
51:51
Speaker 2: a lovely couple. I met Colin and Peter. I only
51:53
Speaker 2: met him probably between half an hour and an hour beforehand,
51:58
Speaker 2: and we spoke for over an hour. And then what
52:02
Speaker 2: we do We package it up. We have an intro,
52:05
Speaker 2: we have animation, we use music, and it's I'm lucky
52:09
Speaker 2: to have those contacts from a time in media. So
52:12
Speaker 2: Mel the guru editor, we work together Channel ten her
52:18
Speaker 2: life partner Craig Day production company. He's a done Cameron
52:22
Speaker 2: works on shows like The Block and Master Chef Berg
52:27
Speaker 2: is the gun animator. My partner Cassie is a graphic designer.
52:30
Speaker 2: So we're all working together. Two well, we say that
52:36
Speaker 2: anyone make the day of it, like, invite other family
52:39
Speaker 2: members and that along. Because so therefore we can document
52:43
Speaker 2: old memories and at the same time create new ones.
52:49
Speaker 2: And the best bit of all I find, and I'm
52:52
Speaker 2: really looking forward to be chatting to more and more friends,
52:55
Speaker 2: particularly hearts in rural Victoria. Rural Australia always will be
53:02
Speaker 2: is when I catch up with mates at home who
53:05
Speaker 2: are off the good Irish Catholic stock, you know, the Ryan's,
53:08
Speaker 2: the TUIs O'Brien's, and if it's not their immediate siblings,
53:13
Speaker 2: it might be their parents' siblings and they could be
53:15
Speaker 2: one of eight, ten, twelve, fourteen, you know with what
53:21
Speaker 2: we're doing. The reality is these stories they're not four
53:26
Speaker 2: really the parents or the grandparents. They're for the children,
53:30
Speaker 2: the grandchildren, the great grandchildren going forward, and therefore it's
53:36
Speaker 2: the entire family that invests in it.
53:40
Speaker 1: Mate, just tell everyone that website again so they can
53:43
Speaker 1: go and have a.
53:43
Speaker 2: Squizz Universal dot com dot Au. You'll see the logo.
53:51
Speaker 2: Why don't you look it up, Craig, then you can
53:53
Speaker 2: see exactly what I'm talking about.
53:55
Speaker 1: All right, well you just entertime the masses. I'm going
53:57
Speaker 1: to jump on right now because I've have three screens
54:01
Speaker 1: on my one screen, well, Brad, so it looks very good,
54:04
Speaker 1: so everyone Www. Yet very functional, very clean. I like
54:08
Speaker 1: a good clean website www y o Universal after that,
54:14
Speaker 1: So it's you Universal dot com dot au stories about
54:19
Speaker 1: capturing your loved ones on camera forever. We come to
54:22
Speaker 1: you here and record priceless tales, anecdotes, life lessons and
54:25
Speaker 1: package it up for future generation. Good idea, mate, good idea,
54:29
Speaker 1: good service. Oh there's a little video at the bottom.
54:32
Speaker 1: Nice scrolling. It's still I'm going to say, I'm going
54:36
Speaker 1: to say it's a work in progress. But what's there
54:38
Speaker 1: looks good and.
54:39
Speaker 2: All the stuff thanks to you, brutal honesty.
54:42
Speaker 1: Well, the feed it literally says, it literally says at
54:46
Speaker 1: the bottom comes soon.
54:49
Speaker 2: Yeah, it actually says that at the top two if
54:51
Speaker 2: you were But you know, it's one of those ones
54:56
Speaker 2: where you know, when people talk about you sort of
54:58
Speaker 2: just get into it. You feel like, maybe are you
55:02
Speaker 2: ready now? The website's not finished, but the feedback has
55:06
Speaker 2: just been so overwhelming and people saying, oh, fantastic, fantastic,
55:11
Speaker 2: And the reality is, you know what, our parents and
55:16
Speaker 2: for those that are lucky enough to have grandparents or
55:18
Speaker 2: older relatives, and you know what, it might be some
55:20
Speaker 2: It might be a cousin that is going you know,
55:24
Speaker 2: has a battle. It could be a friend, it could
55:27
Speaker 2: be a volunteer at your sporting club. They deserve to
55:30
Speaker 2: have their story told.
55:32
Speaker 1: Make a good idea. All up here for thinking. My
55:36
Speaker 1: mum says, well, good luck with all of that, and
55:41
Speaker 1: thanks for coming to have a chat again. We need
55:43
Speaker 1: to make it like a little bit shorter time frame
55:46
Speaker 1: next time, as in not five years or three years apart.
55:51
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, if I was just waiting for the invitation.
55:56
Speaker 1: It's just been sitting by the phone.
56:00
Speaker 2: All right, mate.
56:01
Speaker 1: We appreciate you. Thank you so much for coming to
56:03
Speaker 1: play on the You project again. I'll talk to you soon.
56:07
Speaker 1: We need to have a coffee and we'll get together
56:10
Speaker 1: again on the show.
56:11
Speaker 2: Thanks mate. Yeah, and you know I'm going to finish
56:13
Speaker 2: with what I call the power of the compliment. Well done, Craig.
56:16
Speaker 2: You know the amount of people that you are helping
56:18
Speaker 2: just by just chatting and putting yourself out there, So
56:23
Speaker 2: to you and Melissa, and you know, I get feedback
56:27
Speaker 2: from other people just saying that, you know, like the
56:30
Speaker 2: medication helps me and friends and family help me. You
56:37
Speaker 2: are helping a whole lot of people through this medium.
56:39
Speaker 2: So well done, mate, It's great work.
56:43
Speaker 1: Thank you mate. I genuinely appreciate that I have a
56:46
Speaker 1: go all right, buddy, I'll talk to you soon, right,
56:49
Speaker 1: Thanks Craig,