Latest / Giant Ideas / Halle Tecco Wisdom: Choosing a Life Partner & Prioritising Adventure

Transcript

Halle Tecco Wisdom: Choosing a Life Partner & Prioritising Adventure · Giant Ideas

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to Giant Ideas.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: Last week we spoke to Halie Techco, the leading US healthcare entrepreneur, investor, and author about massively improving healthcare.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: Today we're going to talk to her about the wisdom she's accumulated in life and about the person behind the giant idea.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: Hal, if you could choose three photographs that defined your life and were moments that you really gained wisdom of what life is all about, what would those three photographs be?
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: So, well, thank you for telling me this question in advance because I don't know if I could have picked three on the spot.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: But last night I was kind of going through like my personal life's photo album, which was a really fun exercise.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I think I think I did figure out the three.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so the first is coming, going to San Francisco.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: When I moved to San Francisco in 2006, right out of college, and I can like see the city out my window.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm a window seat gal for life, and just kind of seeing the city and that feeling I had of like a new beginning for myself.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I had, I was born and raised in Cleveland, Ohio, and I went to school there as well.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: I was a first-gen college student.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, like I literally took the job I got that was farthest away from Ohio.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: I just really was at that point in my life so eager to uh have a new adventure.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so that was a huge, huge moment in my life.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: And then obviously going to San Francisco for lived there for nine years defined everything I have done professionally.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: And it's also where I met my husband, um, who I then married in 2012, which is my second picture.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and my husband and I married in 2012.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I would say I was told in business school that one of the most important decisions you would make is who you marry.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I it could not be more true.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: Having a partner and a spouse who supports your work and enables you to uh achieve everything that you want to achieve is just so special.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I've now seen, unfortunately, friends who marry people who haven't been the most supportive and have kind of different visions for their life together that is really misaligned.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: That makes me, as I've now been married for 15 years.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, no, not 15 years, 13 years.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, kind of see see and really appreciate how your personal life is one thing and optimizing for having, you know, a strong relationship and friends and family around is important.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: But actually for your career, like having a spouse that really supports you in your career can like make or break that.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: Do you think who you marry is the single most important decision you make?
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: In your life?
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's one of them.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes, it's one of them.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: What would the other ones be?
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, to have kids or not.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's really important.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um making that a conscious choice, I think, is an underrated one.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: My cousin gave me great advice before I had kids.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_01: Well, what's it at the very least?
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: At least make it a hyper-conscious decision.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: Where most people would just do it because otherwise, well, that's what everyone else does, which I don't think is a good idea.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I agree with you.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_02: This cousin's very consistent.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_02: He also tried very hard to convince me not to have any more children at dinner.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: Does this person have kids?
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_02: He does.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_02: He has kids.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_02: He has kids.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, the irony of that.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, I agree.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: I think in in society there are certain expectations of what you do.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and you get married and you have kids, and sometimes people go through the motions without really thinking of it.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I I mean, maybe that's changing now because there's the rise of the dink, you know, the dink, the dual income, no kids lifestyle.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: The dink lifestyle, I think, is uh becoming more known.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so people can see that there's another path.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: But I have friends that never had kids and are perfectly happy and fulfilled, and they get to be ants.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I think that's okay.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_01: Did you know your husband was definitely the right choice?
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: When I was dating him, no.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we were so young, um, and we were partying a lot in San Francisco and having a good time, and it wasn't necessarily on our our minds at the time.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: He was a little wild.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_02: It was the early days of Facebook, right?
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: It was the early days of Facebook, and it was, you know, San Francisco.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: It was just a different lifestyle than what I was wanting.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then I went to business school.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: So we were apart for two years.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: And um, you know, that was hard, but we we made it work.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: And by the end of that, it was by by the end of my first year, kind of like knew like, okay, this is this is gonna work.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so yeah.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_02: And what's the third?
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, and the third I would say is the picture over in my window seat on the plane, moving to London.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I got so lucky because the path wasn't supposed to go over London, but we had to wait like half an hour.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: And so the pilot took us um over London and got to see the river and the bridge.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: And it was just such a stunning view.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: It was a beautiful, clear day in April.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I was almost in tears because like both excited for a new adventure.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but like what a remarkable city this is.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like, such a privilege to be able to move here and um get my visa and be able to just get up and move like that.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: People don't really do that in their 30s and 40s.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: I think people kind of get settled somewhere, they have kids, and then that's like their place.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: And for us to, we've moved so much and we're like such adventurers that that was um it was a big deal, but it was also something we did with a lot of conviction.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_02: What would be your advice um to, I guess, the 22-year-old Halley flying into San Francisco looking out the window?
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: You know, when you're in San Francisco just having fun and being young, uh, you meet a lot of people who are working on really interesting things.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: And 99 out of a hundred times it's not gonna end up being anything significant, but some people are going to end up building these like game-changing platforms.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so, you know, a lot of folks that I was able to like just have beers with and get to know as humans ended up doing really cool things.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: So that was that, you know, I don't know if I would have any different advice for that, but that was something I don't think I expected.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: I was just trying to make friends and have fun.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and that's like a really special thing about San Francisco is that it's not, it wasn't networking.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: It was just like hanging out with cool, like-minded folks who had moved to San Francisco and wanted, you know, to talk about what's going on in the world.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: Ali, this is this is big one for you to to ask any person.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: But if you had to step back, what would be the wisdom that you feel you've accumulated in life that you would like to share with people?
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: What's life all about for you?
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um no pressure.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: So when I uh when I was living in San Francisco in about 2011 or 2012, uh I got a call one day from my sister that my dad was in the hospital and he had a heart attack.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: And um she would keep me posted.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so I kind of just I was like, okay, keep me posted, and you know, talk to them every few hours to hear what's going on.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and I I didn't do anything.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: I went on with my day, I went on with my week.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: I had a bunch of meetings that I just didn't think to move and go home and you know, change everything up.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I look back now, I'm like, I have no idea what those meetings were, like what I was doing that was more important than going home.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, fortunately, my dad recovered.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: He went to cardiac rehab and he's 80 years old today, which is great.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, but that was a huge inflection point in my career because I a few months later looked back and was so ashamed of myself for putting random work meetings with people that would have absolutely understood, hey, my dad had a heart attack, I need to go home and be with him.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I really regretted making that choice.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: And that was when my husband and I decided to leave San Francisco.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: And we realized that while it is such a magical place, and I'm so glad I was there, not just because it was where I launched my career and met my husband and made so many great friends.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, but it is uh, it is, it was then and it is returning to be now a hustle culture that is not compatible with living a life revolving around your family, where your family matters to you.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: That that story about your dad resonates massively with me.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: When I when I lost my dad a couple of years ago, I basically went back to work almost within three days or something.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: And lovely guy called Zach, who's an investor here in London at MNG, gave me some great advice, which was to let the grief in, because otherwise, if it sets, it will turn to concrete.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_01: And it was one of the best pieces of advice I've I've ever got.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: So what did you then take time off and give yourself?
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: I basically let the grief in whenever it came.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: And it comes in cycles and random moments.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: But the kind of the main advice was when it comes, allow it to wash over you and fully embrace it.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_01: Rather than blocking it out.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: I think um, you know, our time with our parents, our time with our children, our time with our partners are limited and so important.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: And it's it's hard to make it a priority when you love what you're doing and it's professionally because I love working.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like I could work 80 hours if I didn't have anyone in my life that I cared about spending time with.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I was, I also wasn't working out.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: I never went to the gym.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: I just wasn't really taking care of myself.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: We were out partying all night and then working all day, and it was, it was not healthy.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: And so leaving San Francisco at that time was was was important, uh, I think for us.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: And we were able to kind of like regroup our life and decide what we wanted to do, which is when we were also like, okay, let's start a family.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like, let's let's put family first.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: Our parents are getting older.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we were kind of ready for that.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: We we always joke we were ready to bring someone else into the relationship.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so uh so that was kind of when we started our our journey to becoming parents.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_01: Last one, we ask every guest who comes on Jana idea is this.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: What is it about you that has made you so successful?
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: Oh gosh, that's a hard one.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_01: No modesty allowed.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: I um I work really hard.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: I've always had to kind of earn everything.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, I was I was a work study student.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if that is uh something you guys know, but I I was on a work study program, meaning I had to work through college, uh, and the government supported my my college degree.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm just used to working a lot.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: I also, in in addition to doing work study, I worked at the mall at Nordstrom throughout college.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I'm used to just juggling a lot of things and working really hard.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: And um and I think that's that's paid off.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: Amazing.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: The greatest football manager in English history called Alex Ferguson, he managed Manchester United.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: His his big thing was that hard work is a great talent.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: It is.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I do, you know, it's something I think about a lot for my son because he's has a very different upbringing than than I had.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so how can I help distill that hard work?
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: And so one of the things I've been doing lately is um, and I read this in a book, is and maybe you guys can use this with your children, is really praising effort over outcome.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: And like, I'm so proud of you worked so hard on that.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: What was it, raising adults?
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_02: Is it is uh is it the story story you wish your parents had read or something like that?
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: I think like that.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: It might be in multiple books then.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, so I'm like, you work so hard preparing for that test.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: You tried really hard, and I'm really proud of you.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: You took it seriously and and really focusing on kind of the effort because once we get to a point of just focusing on outcomes, then they're not thinking about the joy and just learning.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so when things get hard, uh they, you know, children can become persistent and not or not not be persistent and kind of shy away from a good challenge.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_02: The sense of identity and the results rather than effort, which is also can can have negative effects.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: And my parents just didn't really care.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like they were they were like they weren't really impressed by by much.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: They kind of just wanted me to be happy and healthy, and they were always so supportive and loving, but like none of my parents went to college.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: They didn't really have uh, you know, they they they wanted me to go to college, but beyond that, they just wanted me to be happy and have a 401k and stability.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_02: Well, thank you so much for sharing, Halle.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks, Halley.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_02: Really appreciate it.