Latest / Dear Chelsea / Minisode: Bender Baby with Chelsea + Catherine

Transcript

Minisode: Bender Baby with Chelsea + Catherine · Dear Chelsea

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Okay, guys, the High and Mighty Tour is about to begin.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: I'm coming to Washington, d c Norfolk, Virginia, Atlantic City,
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: which I just added, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus,
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: and Cincinnati, Ohio, Denver, Colorado, Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts, Chicago,
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: of course, Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque, Masa, Arizona, Kansas City, Missouri,
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: Saint Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee, Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham,
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: North Carolina. May sixth, I'm doing Netflix as a Joke Festival.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: I will be in Los Angeles, that is a new announcement, Saratoga, California, Monterey, California, Modesto, California,
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: and port Chester, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: I will be touring from February through June. Go to
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: Chelsea Handler dot com for tickets If you want to
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: come see me perform. I will be on the High
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: and Mighty Tour.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: Hi Catherine, Hi, Chelsea. How are you today?
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: Are you? Oh? God?
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: Good?
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: Oh good. Good, Are you still on pelvic floor rest?
• 1:14
  Speaker 4: I am hopefully going to be over that soon. We'll
• 1:16
  Speaker 4: be able to have penetration. That's a good that's.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: A good way to get away from Somebody'd be.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: Like, right, I was sorry, the doctor said.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: One night, Stan, You're like, you know what, At the
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: very last minute, right when you're walking up to someone's
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: hotel room, You're like, you know what, Actually, I'm on
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: pelvic ress.
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: You know what?
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: Sorry? Well, I do have an update.
• 1:34
  Speaker 4: This is another like long term update like we had
• 1:37
  Speaker 4: last time, but this is from Jay who called in
• 1:39
  Speaker 4: on our justin long episode from a million years ago.
• 1:44
  Speaker 4: But she was wondering if sexting is cheating. Her husband
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: had been sexting someone she caught him.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: Our advice was.
• 1:50
  Speaker 4: Kind of like, since he was really apologetic and open
• 1:53
  Speaker 4: to counseling, to give it another try. So she says, Hi, Catherine,
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: I wanted to send an update. I went back through
• 2:00
  Speaker 4: my emails to see how long ago this happened. Well,
• 2:03
  Speaker 4: I should have left him back then. I forgave him
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: and put my trust back in him. This time he
• 2:08
  Speaker 4: cheated on me for real with one of my coworkers,
• 2:11
  Speaker 4: gross And she knew I was married. Her boyfriend saw
• 2:14
  Speaker 4: her messages and thank god sent me screenshots through Facebook.
• 2:17
  Speaker 4: I'm trying to divorce, but my state makes you wait
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: one year. I've been separated in the same house for
• 2:22
  Speaker 4: three months and he still tries to fight for me,
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: but I'm not interested.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: Thank you for the advice back then.
• 2:28
  Speaker 4: Not sure you'll get this, but just wanted to use
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: as a cautionary tale for others if you wanted.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: Thanks again, Jay.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: So, what was the advice that I gave her to
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: get rid of him?
• 2:37
  Speaker 4: No, we said, like, give him another chance because he
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: was really apologetic. I'll go to counts like I'm so sorry,
• 2:42
  Speaker 4: and he failed her.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's nothing really good that comes from that. You know,
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: if somebody's like sneaking around doing anything, it's going to
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: lead to more things. It's like, you know, even if yeah,
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: and some people are just like good at really being
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: a liar, you know, they just want to lie and
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: manipulate people like they're just a bad seed. Which is
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: hard to kind of think about because when you're intimate
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: or and you're in a relationship with or you know,
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: a marriage, you're like, oh no, you blame yourself a
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: lot because you're like, how did I not see all
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: those warning signs? But it's pretty obvious when someone lies.
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and it's kind of like you have to weigh
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: did they fuck up one time or is it like
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: an habitual thing, Especially with the sex thing. I think
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: people can get really addicted to, like the dopamine hit
• 3:26
  Speaker 4: of like getting responses from somebody.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And I also think it's fair to give somebody
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: a second chance. If somebody if they fuck up, if
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: they fuck up like in a minor way, it's like, hey,
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: I'm not cool with this, But when they fuck up
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: in a major way, then it's kind of like, well,
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: now you have like two red flags. So yeah, you
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: have your answer. Yeah, so good for you for staying strong.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: You're gonna find another guy very shortly. There's yeah, they're everywhere.
• 3:49
  Speaker 4: There is joy around the corner. I think we're ready
• 3:55
  Speaker 4: for our caller. This is Jane, who's calling in aid?
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: Jane Jane, Yeah, like nineteen fifties Jane. So her subject
• 4:06
  Speaker 4: was unplanned pregnancy, not sure who the father was, She says,
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: Dear Chelsea, I've always resonated to your bluntness and lack
• 4:14
  Speaker 4: of respect for straight men. I'm twenty nine, and I've
• 4:17
  Speaker 4: always known I want to be a mom. However, I
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: have PTSD from sexual trauma at the hands of both
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: men I trusted and men I didn't know. This has
• 4:25
  Speaker 4: made it nearly impossible for me to have a serious,
• 4:27
  Speaker 4: long term relationship with a man. I'd much rather be
• 4:29
  Speaker 4: alone than let one live in my space and tell
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: me what to do. I recently went on a little
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: bit of a bender and slept with three different men
• 4:35
  Speaker 4: in one weekend. I was ovulating and acting like a
• 4:38
  Speaker 4: fuck boy. My therapist says it's to feel in control
• 4:40
  Speaker 4: again and a normal trauma reaction, but I feel bad
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: for lying to all of them. My period was late
• 4:46
  Speaker 4: and I took a test and it was positive. I
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: grew up Catholic, so I knew my family would not
• 4:50
  Speaker 4: be thrilled about this news. For context, I had an
• 4:52
  Speaker 4: abortion a year ago and it clarified the fact that
• 4:54
  Speaker 4: I do want kids. At the time, I didn't have
• 4:57
  Speaker 4: a stable job. I have a good job now with
• 4:59
  Speaker 4: good insurance, but I don't make a ton of money.
• 5:01
  Speaker 4: I wanted to keep the baby, but my mom and
• 5:03
  Speaker 4: sister specifically would probably have had to help me a lot,
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: and I don't know if that's fair. After talking with
• 5:08
  Speaker 4: them about how I wanted to keep the baby, they
• 5:10
  Speaker 4: pressured me to end the pregnancy and I did. I know,
• 5:13
  Speaker 4: my very religious mom is ashamed of me, and I'm
• 5:15
  Speaker 4: not sure how to repair my relationship with her. Any
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: help would be appreciated.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: Jane, Hi, Jane, how are you good?
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: Nice to meet you.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: Nice to meet you. Okay, so what's the status with
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: you and your mom? Your mom's was set with you
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: for getting pregnant or for getting the abortion.
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: Both, it would seem. So I don't know like where
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: we go from here, because I had multiple conversations with
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: her where I was like, I don't want to do
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: this without you, like I'm not going to involve the father,
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: so you would have to be a big part of
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: me in this baby's life. And she told me I
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: can't do that for you. I can't be there for
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: you in the way that you need, which broke my heart,
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: and I made the decision Okay, I'm not gonna I
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: don't want to do this alone. It's really hard to
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: be a single mom. Not that I couldn't have done it,
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: but I chose not to. Now I'm feeling like isolated
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: for my family because all of this vulnerable stuff happened.
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: But then I'm also like isolated socially because I can't
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: like date successfully. So I'm just kind of in a pickle.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: What do you mean you can't date successfully? Why do
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: you say that?
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: Like, I have so much PTSD that normally it just
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: turns out to be more like a vender, like what
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: happened in September, where like I kind of go crazy
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: for a weekend and like sleep around a bunch and
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: it's fun and I have fun. But then I'm like, Okay,
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: it would be cool if I had someone I could trust,
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: and also it would be cool if I met someone
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: I could raise a kid with. But I feel like
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: I'm giving up on that. And that's what my parents
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: were saying to me, is like, we feel like you're
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: giving up, and that's what made me decide to get
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: the abortion. But yeah, I'm twenty.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: Nine, So okay, Well, first of all, you're twenty nine.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: You have your entire life ahead of you. That's nothing,
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: So don't worry about that number. Okay, are you working
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: with a therapist right now?
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: Okay, so you're working through all that stuff. So for you,
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: like for any other regular person who's just going out
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: and doing that randomly or occasionally, that's okay. But if
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: it's a result of what the trauma that you endure,
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: then that is a separate issue, right yeah, because you're
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: acting out and you're doing this for the reasons. So
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: I think your transparency is really like great, a that
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: you're working with a therapist, that you were honest with
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: your family. It's not your mom's responsibility to raise a
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: child with you. It's an unfair ask, you know what
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: I mean. She's not your partner. She already raised you,
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: she raised your siblings, like it's just not fair. So
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: I understand that you were disappointed in that reaction, but
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: you have to get yourself into a position a where
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: you're with someone that you're ready to have a baby
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: with and then that's going to be your partner. And
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: when that does happen, and you showed the kind of
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: a mature and growth that you're going to be experiencing,
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: like from this phone call on and through your therapy
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: and on, you're going to mend the relationship with your
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: mom and your family members and everything. They just need
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: to see that you're making changes in the right direction,
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: going out, having sex with three gunys, getting pregnant, and
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: then asking your mom to raise the baby doesn't give
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: people a view of oh, this girl's getting her shit together.
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah I know I and I can see their perspective.
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: And I did, like finally just get a real, real
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: job with like benefits and everything. So I think I
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: am kind of addicted to the chaos, maybe a little bit.
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: And that's what my therapist is working with me on.
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: It's just I feel like, what if I never find
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: I don't see a world where i'll ever like trust
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: someone and want to Like.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: You will, you will, absolutely willitizecause nothing is permanent. Your
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: feelings right now are not permanent. They're just temporary and
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: it's a result of something. So like, you're in a situation.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: This is a great like growth edge for you. You're
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: in a situation where you can like actually decide, Okay,
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: this is not how I want to behave anymore. I
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: want to move forward. You know what you want, you
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: want a partner, you want to have a baby, move
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: forward with those things in mind. Having vendors with a
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: bunch of random guys every weekend isn't getting you what
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: you want. That's like a band aid that ends up
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: hurting more in the long run, right, Like, that's not
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: how you want to have a baby. So if you
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: really are looking like, don't say I'm never gonna. I'm
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: never gonna. You're twenty nine years old. You don't know
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: what you're gonna do. You're gonna have a lot of experiences,
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: and you're gonna fall in love with people, and you're
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: gonna have like all of those opportunities as long as
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: you just make sure that's what you want to do
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: and say to yourself like with intention, like that's that's
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: what I'm doing now. And also there's no harm in like,
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: you know, I don't like, I'm not a big fan
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: of declaring victory prematurely when you feel like you've gotten
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: over a situation or you're feeling like you're kind of
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: like blooming into a new person, so to speak. But
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: like it's important to take that be patient with your
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: family and in a few weeks time or whatever seems
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: like an appropriate amount of time for you. I don't
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: know how often you hang out with your family, are
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: with them, but just give them positive updates about the
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: work and progress that you're making. You know, about your job,
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: it's not all about men, it's not all about the baby.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: It should just be multi dimensional, all the facets of
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: your life, your friendships, this is what you're working on,
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: this is what you're working on with your therapist. You
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: don't have to get into detail, but just give them
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: little updates to let them know that you are like
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: working towards becoming a more reliable, responsible adult who's ready
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: for a big responsibility.
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think that that is really good advice
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: because sometimes I feel like, what can we talk about though,
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: because there's a lot of like trauma in my past,
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: and my job is kind of boring, and so sometimes
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: I feel like there's only like a handful of topics
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: that I can talk to my family about. But you're right,
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: probably just talking about my goals and things that I
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: am accomplishing would be better than.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: And books that you're reading. You read a book, like
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: a self help book that really made you understand or
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: reminded you of your dynamic with your parents, like all
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: positive things, you know what I mean. Don't bring them
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: into the trauma since it's already exposed and everyone knows
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: about it. It's about you, like working to get out
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: of it and working to heal yourself, and that's your priority.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: Your priority isn't your family, your priorities, yourself, but like
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: you know, your mental health and just sharing with them
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: in a way that doesn't require them to carry any
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: more of a burden in their minds, you know what
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: I mean. Or responsibility I think is a better choice
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: of words.
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: I definitely wish I could go back in time and
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: just not tell anybody in my family about any of
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: the trauma or the pregnancies.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: Of course I know, but you know what, that's okay.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: You did and they deserve to know because they're your
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: family and they want to know. It's just about it's
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: not what happens, it's how you handle what happens, you know,
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: I mean, listen, it is what happens, but it's very
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: much more how you handle coming out of that and
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: what you do to heal after that. So I don't
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: have any doubt that you're on your You're on your road.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: You're just in a vulnerable spot right now, and you're
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: feeling vulnerable, you know, and you're feeling alone, and I
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: get it. But this you have the ability to repair
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: all of these relationships and make them grow and turn
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: into the woman that you really like want to become
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: and find the partner that you want.
• 12:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Like I know, right now it feels like the
• 12:28
  Speaker 4: trauma is so looms so large in your life and
• 12:31
  Speaker 4: that like that's your whole life. But as you keep
• 12:34
  Speaker 4: working with your therapist and you get some distance and
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: some perspective, like it will it will shrink as far
• 12:41
  Speaker 4: as like how much space it takes up in your life.
• 12:43
  Speaker 4: I also wanted to ask, not from a procreation standpoint,
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: but just from a like a mood management perspective, are
• 12:49
  Speaker 4: you on birth control at all or no?
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: No? And this is like been a thing for me.
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: I have tried so many different touch and just suck yes,
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: and they have made me so depressed. I tried the
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: copper IUD when I was in college, and I've never
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: had more painful periods. And then I tried to get
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: the like least hormonal IUD yes, the Marina I think,
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: and it was horrible. There was like a it was
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: a doctor learning how to be a gynecologist and they
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: couldn't get it in and so I just told them
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: to stop.
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: Which is great for someone who already has sexual trauma.
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: Good job.
• 13:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but when we're on natural we have these like
• 13:32
  Speaker 4: highs and lows with our hormones, right, and like when
• 13:34
  Speaker 4: we're ovulating, we feel the most powerful, we get the
• 13:36
  Speaker 4: most done, we feel amazing. But then it can also
• 13:39
  Speaker 4: lead to like you know, going out and partying a
• 13:41
  Speaker 4: little bit too much and sort of you know, having
• 13:43
  Speaker 4: to face the consequences of that. Whereas when you are
• 13:45
  Speaker 4: on birth control it gives you a little bit less
• 13:47
  Speaker 4: of a high low. So you may talk to your
• 13:50
  Speaker 4: doctor and see if there is a pill that could
• 13:52
  Speaker 4: help just sort of like smooth the edges of that.
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, I think that if I could find
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: a good option for me, that would be great, especially
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: because you know, I'm not going to be celibate, so
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: I don't want to have a repeat of this situation
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: next time.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: I obulate, do you have a female female doctor gynecologist?
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: No, well I don't have a gynecologist.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: Okay, Well do you have health insurance?
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: Okay, We'll try and find a female gynecologist and she's
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: going to be much more adept at getting things inside
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: you and also giving you the options of what's like
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: what a good option for you is. I mean, there's
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: a million things out there. I'm sure there's going to
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: be something that's going to get along with your system.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: I mean everyone needs it, So.
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: That's good advice to talk about positive things, get on
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: birth control. I think it's just hard because, like like
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: you were saying, Catherine, like it's so daunting, Like I
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: feel okay, you know, like day to day, but like
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: big picture, am I ever going to be able? Like
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: I don't know. I just got a text from like
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: a witness protection person that the guy who assaulted me
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: is and be out of prison in a week, and
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: so tough. I don't have anybody really in this town.
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: My family's not here, so it's just like I wish
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: I could talk to my mom and my sister about
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: this stuff, but like it's too taboo. It's like that's frustrating.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: Why is it too taboo? Like what is their reaction
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: to that subject matter?
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: They basically tell me not to talk about it, like
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: don't bring it up kind of stuff, which is fine,
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: Like I have friends and a therapist. It's just my
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: sister is very she's turned to God.
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: And so now she's like doesn't he want to hear
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: she doesn't want to.
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: Talk about abortion and like sexual assault is like she
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: can't handle talking about it.
• 15:39
  Speaker 4: So you know what, I think, in addition to your therapist,
• 15:42
  Speaker 4: to see if there is like a group in your
• 15:45
  Speaker 4: town that is, like a sexual assault survivors group, that
• 15:48
  Speaker 4: might be really helpful. So you have another outlet that
• 15:50
  Speaker 4: you can talk to people who've experienced the same thing,
• 15:52
  Speaker 4: which you know maybe your therapist hasn't. That might be
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: a good way to, like, and you can talk about
• 15:57
  Speaker 4: this like I can't talk about this with my family,
• 15:59
  Speaker 4: you know how your family is reacting, and like really
• 16:01
  Speaker 4: get into it.
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that would just feel validating.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: I think, especially with.
• 16:06
  Speaker 4: The freshness of like knowing this person is out, you
• 16:09
  Speaker 4: know that it might be good to like step up
• 16:11
  Speaker 4: your self care in that.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: I think that's a great idea because you're going to
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: find out you're not the only person whose family isn't
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: always available for these kinds of conversations.
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and I don't want them. I don't want to
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: keep traumatizing them.
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, right, I hear you. I hear you.
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: Well, will you follow up with us in a little.
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: Bit, Yeah, thank you so much.
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: All right, thanks for calling in. We wish you the
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: best of luck.
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: Nice to meet you you too, Chelsea. I'm seeing you
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: in February in Madison.
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, great, I'll be there Madison, Wisconsin. I'm coming here. Okay,
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: take care, keep us pote Okay, bye, guys.
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: Iye, what a sweetheart. Well, I mean, it's like a
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: heavy topic, but.
• 16:52
  Speaker 4: I'm glad that this is a resource where people can
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: come and talk about, you know, some of the not
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: so fun parts of life, some of the worst parts
• 16:58
  Speaker 4: of life.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: Families are so fucked up, truly.
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: Truly, and even the ones that mean well don't always
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: know what to say, you know.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: I like them when people don't know what to say.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: I like when people say it is what it is?
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: What does that mean?
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: It is what it is? Is there anything more stupid
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: than that sentence?
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: Maybe like that it was meant to be? Or you
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: know what I mean when people are.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: Like, oh, it's not that they say, I'm like, well, God,
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: is what it is? It's like, what is it? It's
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: not good enough?
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: Should it be good enough? I'm not agree.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: Okay, anyway, Catherine, I hope you have a wonderful, productive day. Okay,
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: thank you God, God bless America. Fine, okay, guys, the
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: High and Mighty Tour is about to begin. I'm in
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: DC February thirteenth. February fourteenth, Atlantic city which I just
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: added fifteenth is Norfolk, Virginia. February nineteenth Madison, Wisconsin. February
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: twentieth is Milwaukee, Wisconsin. February twenty first Detroit, Michigan. February
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: twenty second, Rama, Ontario. That's Canada for those of you
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: who don't speak Canadia. March thirteenth, Cleveland, oh Ohio. March
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: fourteenth Columbus, Ohio. March fifteenth, Cincinnati, Ohio. And then March
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: twentieth is Denver, Colorado. March twenty seventh Portland, Maine. March
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: twenty eighth, Providence, Rhode Island. March twenty ninth, Springfield, Massachusetts.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: April tenth is Chicago. I'll be at the Chicago Theater.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: April eleventh Indianapolis, Indiana. April twelfth Louisville, Kentucky. April sixteenth
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: is Albuquerque, New Mexico. April seventeenth is Mesa, Arizona. April
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: twenty third is Kansas City, Missouri. April twenty fourth is
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: Saint Louis, Missouri. April twenty fifth is Minneapolis, Minnesota. April
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: thirtieth Nashville Tennessee. May first is Charlotte, North Carolina. May
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: second is Durham, North Carolina. May sixth, I'm doing Netflix
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: as a joke festival. I will be in Los Angeles.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: That is a new announcement. And May fifteenth Saratoga, California.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: May sixteenth Monterey, California. May seventeenth Modesto, California. And then
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: June fourth Portchester, New York. June fifth is Boston, mass
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: And June twelfth is Portland, Oregon. And then Seattle is
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: June thirteenth, So suck on that, everybody. Go to Chelseahandler
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: dot com for tickets.
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: Do you want advice from Chelsea?
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: Right into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com. Find
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching
• 19:24
  Speaker 4: at Dear Chelsea pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered
• 19:27
  Speaker 4: by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law And be sure
• 19:31
  Speaker 4: to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com