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*PATREON PREVIEW* When You Don't Know Anyone in a Social Setting · What's The Juice?

• 0:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay guys, we're here to get right into this topic because we are around or getting close to the holiday season.
• 0:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, the holiday season.
• 0:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's a lot of celebrations.
• 0:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: We have Halloween.
• 0:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: We have things giving here in America and the US.
• 0:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: We have then Christmas, New Year's.
• 0:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: We're just around the corner from being around a lot of people, events, cute, cozy things.
• 0:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I think there's some rules
• 0:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: rules for when you join a party yeah like when you're in social events social gathering like there's ways in which
• 0:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like we all have to move through the room.
• 0:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I think there's a lot of moments that have the potential of being awkward that we should talk about.
• 0:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
• 0:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: First things that come to my mind, which happens all the time.
• 0:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: Every party, every get together, every gathering, every reunion.
• 1:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: Those people, let's say I come to the party and when I say party, I don't mean... Yeah, party could just be a gathering of people for a social event.
• 1:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Exactly, I come in and say, I know someone that's talking in a group, right?
• 1:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: I automatically, I go to the person I know.
• 1:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: As soon as I walk in any way, I'm looking like I'm scanning who'd right now here.
• 1:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Are you interrupting?
• 1:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, I'm walking, I say, oh, it's up to my friend, but that's another thing.
• 1:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, that's what I'm going to say.
• 1:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: I just see the person talking someone, you know, the awkward moment where you just kind of like have to stand next to them because let's say is their gallery or let's say it's their event and they're talking to someone and you don't know anyone else, but them and you haven't seen them in a while.
• 1:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
• 1:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: So you have to go say what's up to them, but then they're in a conversation with someone and so you can't really interrupt.
• 1:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: I haven't been able to do that.
• 1:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 1:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't interrupt.
• 1:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: I just kind of like find something to do until I see that they're free.
• 2:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I know, but like they're not free because if they're organized, most likely everyone there is to see them.
• 2:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's so anyways.
• 2:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, yeah, but I'm thinking, okay, we're talking more in the sense of like a home gathering, like you're throwing a party, a friend's giving a holiday party.
• 2:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's not like a gallery.
• 2:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, okay.
• 2:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like someone's coming over to the house, like to someone's house, okay?
• 2:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Someone's apartment.
• 2:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: So let's go back to the group to the group.
• 2:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I think it's different because in that sense, like they're coming into your house.
• 2:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: So like most likely the host,
• 2:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: that invited you, like we'll open the door for you.
• 2:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, things like that.
• 2:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: So in that case, I feel like entering a conversation, doesn't apply in like this scenario.
• 2:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I hear you though, that's true though.
• 2:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Entering a conversation definitely applies in this scenario, even though if it is in someone's house, because there's usually multiple groups talking, depending how big the house is obviously, right?
• 3:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's true, okay, that's true.
• 3:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so I used to have to enter and introduce yourself.
• 3:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so let's talk about introducing yourself, because this is my least favorite part of the night.
• 3:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's actually not my favorite, but I look forward to that.
• 3:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: Nah, I avoided our class, which is the issue.
• 3:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, which is the exact issue and which is why you find yourself in a lot of awkward situations because you don't be producing yourself to people.
• 3:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then, let's say you talk to someone in the same group and then their friend is just their standing or a few other people are their standing and you just talk to your friend.
• 3:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: Meanwhile, there's other people listening, let's say it's a good before people.
• 3:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: You have to introduce yourself to the other two people.
• 3:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: You have to say, oh, by the way, I'm Alia.
• 3:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: I always do that.
• 3:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know how awkward it is to just stand there.
• 3:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then like you almost got to like gauge like your reaction to what someone is saying in the group or you haven't been introduced yet.
• 4:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: But you can introduce yourself.
• 4:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's true, too.
• 4:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like you can introduce yourself.
• 4:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're not gonna like wait for whoever knows you to introduce to the other people.
• 4:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: I know, but what if the other person doesn't do that?
• 4:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: It happened in me last time.
• 4:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like that's how I went to a gallery.
• 4:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, they don't do that.
• 4:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: the same thing.
• 4:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's not the same thing.
• 4:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: How is it not?
• 4:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because the vibe in someone's house is like so much more chill.
• 4:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're sitting on the couch.
• 4:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like it's probably not going to be like 30 people.
• 4:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: I guess in the house, if you do it, if you do it, if you do it, if you do it, if you do it, if you do it, if you do it, if you do it, if you do it, if you do it, if you do it, if you do it, if you do it, if you do it, if you do it, if you do it, if you do it, if you do it, if you do it, if you do it, if you do it, if you do it, if you do it, if you do it, if you do it, if you do it, if you do it, if you do it, if you do it, if you do it, if you do it, if
• 4:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: All right now, but it's a good thing I like to introduce people, oh yeah, this is such and such and such, because you want to, you want to avoid people, because that will happen.
• 4:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: What?
• 4:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: Someone will not introduce themselves and then we're all sitting here together and then there's a few who haven't even talked.
• 5:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: I hate that.
• 5:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 5:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: So that's all by the way, this is, and this is okay now we're good.
• 5:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: So let me tell you, right?
• 5:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: I went to this person's, I have two friends.
• 5:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: I recently got invited and this kind of brought up this whole topic, okay, from real-life scenario.
• 5:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: I went to a party, which was like 30-ish people were there.
• 5:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I only knew too.
• 5:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I was coming with my friend as a backup.
• 5:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not a backup.
• 5:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I was just kind of like, you know, these two people that invited me, it's like, I know them were cool, but like, we haven't seen each other in a while thing.
• 5:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: You haven't invited a friend just as a backup.
• 5:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I just invited my friend.
• 5:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, hey, I'm good at this thing.
• 5:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, do you wanna come?
• 5:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: And she came and it was great.
• 5:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's so nice that she came.
• 5:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: But when I came into the door, like when we got to the apartment, you know, we were greeted by one of the hosts, which was one of my friends.
• 5:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then we were like, you know, nice, so thank you for having us, that a lot of these things brought wine, about this.
• 6:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then we go to the, we get to take our shoes off, we see, as soon as we walk in, there's a long table, hell of people sitting at the table, oh my gosh, everybody's already like,
• 6:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: deep breath.
• 6:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Take my shoes off and then I'm just like, oh, like, where should we put this?
• 6:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: But all that stuff.
• 6:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you said, oh, like, come to the kitchen and put it there.
• 6:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: We have a bunch of wine there and get you a glass.
• 6:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: All that.
• 6:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: We go to the kitchen.
• 6:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's more people at the kitchen.
• 6:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's, there's more people.
• 6:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this was like a big New York apartment, you know, because there was four girls that were living there.
• 6:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: And each one had their own.
• 6:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: So it was like a four bedroom apartment.
• 6:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 6:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: So there was just like a lot of people.
• 6:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, it's probably one of the biggest New York
• 6:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: Uh, in Brooklyn, uh, was it bigger than the other one we went to?
• 6:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: Kind of similar size.
• 6:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Pen house one.
• 6:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, kind of similar size actually.
• 6:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: There was just no like stairs.
• 6:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah, that's different.
• 6:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you have stairs in New York.
• 6:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 6:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: But it was like kind of same like, um, length, yeah, length, length, yeah.
• 7:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so you get there.
• 7:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: So we get there and then I'm like, okay.
• 7:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: So there's like a lot of people here.
• 7:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like I didn't know what the vibes were.
• 7:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Somebody invites you, like you don't know.
• 7:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: You don't know what to wear.
• 7:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: You don't know, like, is it a cozy vibe?
• 7:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Is it a simple vibe?
• 7:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: Is it like a cute vibe?
• 7:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't go to these things for some reason.
• 7:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like I don't get, what do you mean?
• 7:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like someone invited me to like a house thing, like I don't get those invites.
• 7:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if it's more like a girl thing or like I don't get invited to get together.
• 7:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe like none of the people you know throw get together.
• 7:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want to have get together There's our place.
• 7:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I may be like wouldn't it be nice to just like how people come over Love stuff.
• 7:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah So let's let's be the people who do I want that.
• 7:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's why we got a decorate this apartment.
• 7:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: We work on all this Anyways, and then I get to the kitchen and my friends with me, you know, so we're like talking to the host and then like
• 8:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: we get our wine and then we're talking to her and then we kind of like start talking to like my other friend that I was like, oh hey, like nice to see things for having us.
• 8:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then after like you're talking to the people that you know, then it's like, okay, where do I start?
• 8:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: because people are in conversations.
• 8:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I think at one point, you just have to like sit down and just introduce yourself.
• 8:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Where is it?
• 8:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I'm Ali, like, what are your names?
• 8:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: But then you're also sort of like interrupting them, because what if they're like friends and they're like, not trying to talk to you?
• 8:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, I feel like if you're not trying to talk to other people, you shouldn't leave your house.
• 8:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I guess that's true.
• 8:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, like if I'm going out somewhere and I'm going out, I'm open to anybody speaking to me because I will speak to anybody.
• 8:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's very different.
• 8:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: We'll get to how I do it.
• 8:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: But...
• 8:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: So when that's an area?
• 8:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: OK.
• 8:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: How would you approach like you're there with me or you're there with somebody that you know and then there's all these other people that you don't know and you've talked so you've already talked to like the people that you know but then they've gone on to do something else so you're now left with the friend that you brought okay now what's your next step
• 9:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, I want to make sure that I don't leave my friend behind.
• 9:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I know what you're going to say that I left you behind many times before.
• 9:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you only love to.
• 9:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: Any time we went on tour.
• 9:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I don't hear too, but it's okay.
• 9:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: Any time we go to an event, I'm with Alia all the time.
• 9:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: We have a podcast together, we'll work together, we're married.
• 9:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: This is my partner.
• 9:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, we we see each other 24, seven.
• 9:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: Basically.
• 9:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I love it.
• 9:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: I love it too.
• 9:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: So when we go out to an event, I'm sorry.
• 9:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't necessarily want to disability gathered at all times with you.
• 9:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: They is young and leaves and he never comes back.
• 9:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, no, no.
• 9:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: So like, I don't want to meet new people.
• 9:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: When I go out, I want to meet new people.
• 9:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: I know I'm with you.
• 9:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: I've been with you all week.
• 10:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let's fly away for a little bit, you know?
• 10:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: Do you think, you know, spread your wings, right?
• 10:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: So, I'll leave, and I'll say, okay, baby, well, I'm gonna go get a water.
• 10:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it's always at the drinking area there, I just start telling the people.
• 10:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: And, so now you wanna ask me, like, what do I say?
• 10:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: Or what?
• 10:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, what do I do in that scenario?
• 10:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: Which scenario?
• 10:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like this scenario?
• 10:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I just explained this in the scenario where you've already talked to the people that you know.
• 10:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
• 10:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: And let's say you're here by yourself.
• 10:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: You don't have that buffer friend.
• 10:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 10:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: So what's your approach to just like everybody's in a conversation with somebody else?
• 10:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: There's always someone who's wanting a rail by themselves.
• 10:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: No.
• 10:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: No.
• 10:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Everybody's talking.
• 10:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
• 10:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: You look around.
• 10:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: Everybody's talking.
• 10:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Everybody's busy.
• 10:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 10:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
• 10:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: In the hallway at the table on the floor on the couch.
• 11:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: In the bathroom at the kitchen.
• 11:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
• 11:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Everybody's just yapping.
• 11:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
• 11:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: You want to know what I do?
• 11:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: What do you do?
• 11:07
  [UNKNOWN]: Huh?
• 11:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: What do you do?
• 11:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, first of all, that would never happen to me because I get to any party early.
• 11:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: I get to any, I've said this many times before on the Wednesday episode, I said it on the far from home podcast, if you know what I did.
• 11:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: But let's say you can't get there early, because you had work to do yet, thanks to do you can't always get there early.
• 11:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: I do always do my best to get there early, and the reason for that is just to avoid any, like, like you're already in it by the time it's in it.
• 11:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: By the time people are like, there, I've already been introduced to everybody.
• 11:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, let's do this.
• 11:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let's say that's not the case.
• 11:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, let's solve some problems.
• 11:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, because I feel like a lot of people listening to this.
• 11:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: They're awesome.
• 11:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know this answer now.
• 11:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not saying I have it.
• 11:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, but I would say that I would just join a group that seems chill that doesn't seem like they're in a intense conversation.
• 12:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, I would just like to join somebody and say,
• 12:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're just I don't know.
• 12:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: I just think like what are your names?
• 12:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, like if they're in a group of three and you're like, hey, what's your name?
• 12:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's like I mean no, like I'm like that.
• 12:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like I just feel like it's so awkward.
• 12:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, I feel like to me It's not something I think about like that.
• 12:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's not something that I that I it's not strategized It's not like okay now I did this now.
• 12:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm gonna go over here.
• 12:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm gonna get a drink and then I'm gonna do that
• 12:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: and say this.
• 12:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: To me, I just feel the vibe while I'm there.
• 12:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: And sometimes you might need to get a drinker to get a go in, you know?
• 12:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: And drink water to drink first.
• 12:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 12:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't talk anybody.
• 12:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: I would say the good thing is like definitely going to the food or drink station.
• 12:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: Don't just stand there and just eat.
• 12:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: Just eat.