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What Do You Do When Your Partner Spends Without You? · Becoming Financially Confident

• 0:37
  Have
• 0:37
  you
• 0:37
  ever
• 0:38
  found
• 0:38
  yourself
• 0:38
  here?
• 0:39
  The
• 0:40
  house
• 0:40
  is
• 0:40
  quiet,
• 0:42
  phone's
• 0:42
  still
• 0:42
  in
• 0:42
  your
• 0:43
  hand,
• 0:44
  and
• 0:44
  you
• 0:44
  just
• 0:45
  saw
• 0:45
  that
• 0:45
  transaction,
• 0:47
  and
• 0:47
  your
• 0:47
  heart's
• 0:48
  not
• 0:48
  angry
• 0:48
  quite
• 0:49
  yet,
• 0:49
  but
• 0:50
  it's
• 0:50
  certainly
• 0:50
  unsettled.
• 0:52
  And
• 0:52
  you're
• 0:52
  not
• 0:52
  even
• 0:53
  thinking
• 0:53
  about
• 0:53
  the
• 0:53
  item.
• 0:55
  You're
• 0:55
  thinking
• 0:55
  about
• 0:55
  trust.
• 0:57
  Because
• 0:58
  it's
• 0:58
  not
• 0:58
  always
• 0:58
  about
• 0:58
  the
• 0:59
  money,
• 0:59
  is
• 0:59
  it?
• 1:01
  Sometimes
• 1:01
  it's
• 1:01
  about
• 1:02
  that
• 1:02
  moment
• 1:02
  you
• 1:02
  saw
• 1:03
  the
• 1:03
  charge,
• 1:04
  that
• 1:05
  knot
• 1:05
  in
• 1:05
  your
• 1:05
  stomach,
• 1:07
  those
• 1:07
  racing
• 1:08
  thoughts,
• 1:09
  and
• 1:10
  that
• 1:10
  quiet,
• 1:11
  subtle
• 1:11
  question,
• 1:13
  why
• 1:13
  didn't
• 1:13
  he
• 1:13
  tell
• 1:14
  me?
• 1:16
  And
• 1:16
  in
• 1:16
  that
• 1:16
  moment,
• 1:18
  it's
• 1:18
  not
• 1:18
  just
• 1:18
  a
• 1:19
  purchase.
• 1:20
  It's
• 1:20
  trust.
• 1:22
  It's
• 1:22
  respect,
• 1:24
  and
• 1:24
  it's
• 1:24
  safety.
• 1:26
  So
• 1:26
  if
• 1:26
  you're
• 1:27
  hurting
• 1:27
  because
• 1:27
  your
• 1:28
  partner
• 1:28
  spent
• 1:28
  without
• 1:29
  you,
• 1:30
  today's
• 1:31
  about
• 1:31
  rebuilding
• 1:32
  and
• 1:32
  not
• 1:33
  exploding.
• 1:55
  Hey,
• 1:56
  friend.
• 1:56
  Ralph
• 1:56
  Estep
• 1:57
  Jr.
• 1:57
  Here.
• 1:58
  This
• 1:58
  is
• 1:58
  Financially
• 1:59
  Confident
• 1:59
  Christian,
• 2:00
  where
• 2:00
  we're
• 2:01
  breaking
• 2:01
  that
• 2:01
  cycle
• 2:02
  of
• 2:02
  financial
• 2:02
  shame
• 2:03
  and
• 2:03
  doing
• 2:03
  it
• 2:03
  with
• 2:04
  confidence.
• 2:05
  And
• 2:05
  today's
• 2:06
  topic.
• 2:06
  I'm
• 2:07
  going
• 2:07
  to
• 2:07
  warn
• 2:07
  you
• 2:07
  ahead
• 2:07
  of
• 2:08
  time,
• 2:08
  it's
• 2:08
  a
• 2:08
  little
• 2:09
  heavy,
• 2:10
  but
• 2:10
  what
• 2:10
  do
• 2:10
  you
• 2:11
  do
• 2:11
  when
• 2:11
  your
• 2:11
  partner
• 2:12
  spends
• 2:12
  without
• 2:12
  you?
• 2:14
  So
• 2:14
  let's
• 2:14
  get
• 2:14
  into
• 2:15
  today's
• 2:15
  question.
• 2:17
  My
• 2:17
  partner
• 2:18
  made
• 2:18
  a
• 2:18
  huge
• 2:18
  purchase
• 2:19
  without
• 2:20
  consulting
• 2:20
  me,
• 2:21
  and
• 2:21
  I'm
• 2:22
  really
• 2:22
  struggling
• 2:23
  with
• 2:23
  this.
• 2:24
  I
• 2:24
  feel
• 2:25
  disrespected,
• 2:26
  and
• 2:26
  I
• 2:26
  honestly
• 2:27
  feel
• 2:27
  anxious
• 2:28
  about
• 2:28
  our
• 2:28
  financial
• 2:29
  future.
• 2:30
  I
• 2:30
  want
• 2:31
  so
• 2:31
  much
• 2:31
  to
• 2:31
  trust
• 2:32
  them,
• 2:32
  but
• 2:32
  right
• 2:32
  now
• 2:33
  I
• 2:34
  just
• 2:34
  feel
• 2:34
  hurt.
• 2:35
  And
• 2:36
  honestly,
• 2:36
  I
• 2:36
  feel
• 2:37
  uncertain.
• 2:38
  How
• 2:39
  do
• 2:39
  we
• 2:39
  have
• 2:39
  this
• 2:39
  conversation
• 2:40
  without
• 2:41
  everything
• 2:41
  falling
• 2:42
  apart?
• 2:43
  And
• 2:43
  what
• 2:43
  steps
• 2:44
  can
• 2:44
  we
• 2:44
  take
• 2:44
  to
• 2:44
  rebuild
• 2:45
  trust
• 2:45
  and
• 2:46
  make
• 2:46
  sure
• 2:46
  we're
• 2:46
  actually
• 2:47
  on
• 2:47
  the
• 2:47
  same
• 2:48
  team
• 2:48
  moving
• 2:48
  forward?
• 2:51
  I
• 2:51
  told
• 2:51
  you,
• 2:51
  today's
• 2:52
  a
• 2:52
  heavy
• 2:52
  question
• 2:54
  because
• 2:54
  it's
• 2:54
  all
• 2:55
  about
• 2:55
  trust.
• 2:56
  This
• 2:56
  isn't
• 2:56
  a
• 2:56
  money
• 2:57
  issue.
• 2:59
  It's
• 2:59
  a
• 2:59
  trust
• 3:00
  and
• 3:00
  teamwork
• 3:00
  issue.
• 3:02
  So
• 3:02
  the
• 3:02
  question
• 3:03
  is,
• 3:03
  how
• 3:03
  do
• 3:03
  we
• 3:04
  start
• 3:04
  to
• 3:04
  rebuild
• 3:04
  that
• 3:05
  trust
• 3:05
  again
• 3:05
  that
• 3:05
  clearly
• 3:06
  has
• 3:06
  been
• 3:06
  broken?
• 3:08
  And
• 3:08
  how
• 3:08
  do
• 3:08
  we
• 3:09
  get
• 3:09
  back
• 3:09
  on
• 3:09
  the
• 3:09
  same
• 3:10
  team?
• 3:11
  Well,
• 3:11
  I
• 3:11
  want
• 3:12
  to
• 3:12
  tell
• 3:12
  you
• 3:12
  right
• 3:12
  now,
• 3:12
  the
• 3:13
  first
• 3:13
  thing
• 3:13
  you've
• 3:14
  got
• 3:14
  to
• 3:14
  do
• 3:14
  is
• 3:15
  you've
• 3:15
  got
• 3:15
  to
• 3:15
  stop
• 3:16
  right
• 3:16
  now
• 3:16
  and.
• 3:17
  And
• 3:17
  pause
• 3:17
  before
• 3:18
  you
• 3:18
  confront
• 3:20
  number
• 3:20
  one
• 3:20
  thing.
• 3:22
  When
• 3:22
  you
• 3:22
  feel
• 3:22
  blindsided,
• 3:24
  your
• 3:24
  nervous
• 3:24
  system
• 3:25
  goes
• 3:25
  into
• 3:25
  protection
• 3:26
  mode.
• 3:27
  It's
• 3:27
  like
• 3:27
  lockdown.
• 3:30
  But
• 3:30
  conversations
• 3:31
  that
• 3:31
  start
• 3:31
  hot
• 3:31
  like
• 3:32
  that
• 3:33
  don't
• 3:33
  end
• 3:33
  well.
• 3:34
  They
• 3:35
  usually
• 3:35
  end
• 3:35
  up
• 3:35
  with
• 3:36
  one
• 3:36
  or
• 3:36
  both
• 3:36
  of
• 3:36
  you
• 3:37
  feeling
• 3:37
  hurt.
• 3:38
  So
• 3:39
  take
• 3:39
  24
• 3:40
  hours
• 3:40
  right
• 3:40
  now
• 3:40
  if
• 3:41
  you
• 3:41
  need
• 3:41
  to,
• 3:42
  and
• 3:42
  just
• 3:42
  pray
• 3:42
  about
• 3:43
  it,
• 3:44
  breathe
• 3:44
  about
• 3:45
  it,
• 3:46
  and
• 3:46
  write
• 3:47
  down
• 3:47
  what
• 3:47
  you're
• 3:47
  actually
• 3:48
  feeling,
• 3:49
  because
• 3:50
  your
• 3:50
  initial
• 3:51
  instinct
• 3:51
  is
• 3:52
  going
• 3:52
  to
• 3:52
  be
• 3:52
  something
• 3:52
  like
• 3:53
  you
• 3:53
  shouldn't
• 3:54
  have.
• 3:55
  And
• 3:56
  that's
• 3:56
  where
• 3:56
  you'd
• 3:56
  start
• 3:56
  the
• 3:56
  conversation,
• 3:57
  isn't
• 3:57
  it?
• 3:58
  And
• 3:58
  maybe
• 3:58
  you've
• 3:58
  done
• 3:59
  that
• 3:59
  before.
• 4:00
  How'd
• 4:00
  that
• 4:00
  work
• 4:01
  out
• 4:01
  for
• 4:01
  you?
• 4:02
  But
• 4:03
  what
• 4:03
  you
• 4:03
  really
• 4:03
  should
• 4:04
  be
• 4:04
  thinking,
• 4:04
  is
• 4:05
  this
• 4:06
  when
• 4:06
  I
• 4:06
  saw
• 4:07
  that,
• 4:07
  I
• 4:08
  felt
• 4:08
  anxious.
• 4:10
  When
• 4:10
  I
• 4:11
  saw
• 4:11
  that,
• 4:11
  I
• 4:11
  felt
• 4:12
  left
• 4:12
  out.
• 4:14
  Or
• 4:14
  maybe
• 4:15
  when
• 4:15
  I
• 4:15
  saw
• 4:15
  that,
• 4:17
  I
• 4:17
  felt
• 4:17
  unsafe.
• 4:20
  So
• 4:20
  start
• 4:20
  there,
• 4:21
  pause
• 4:22
  and
• 4:22
  build
• 4:23
  some
• 4:23
  clarity
• 4:23
  into
• 4:24
  your
• 4:24
  own
• 4:24
  mind.
• 4:24
  Because
• 4:24
  what
• 4:25
  I
• 4:25
  have
• 4:25
  found,
• 4:25
  working
• 4:26
  with
• 4:26
  this,
• 4:26
  with
• 4:26
  people
• 4:27
  for
• 4:27
  30
• 4:27
  years,
• 4:29
  that
• 4:29
  clarity
• 4:30
  will
• 4:30
  lower
• 4:30
  that
• 4:31
  conflict
• 4:31
  right
• 4:31
  away.
• 4:33
  And
• 4:33
  then
• 4:34
  when
• 4:34
  you're
• 4:34
  ready
• 4:34
  to
• 4:34
  have
• 4:34
  that
• 4:35
  conversation
• 4:35
  and
• 4:35
  listen,
• 4:36
  you
• 4:36
  need
• 4:36
  to
• 4:36
  have
• 4:37
  a
• 4:37
  conversation.
• 4:38
  This
• 4:38
  isn't
• 4:38
  something
• 4:39
  to
• 4:39
  sweep
• 4:39
  under
• 4:39
  the
• 4:39
  rug.
• 4:40
  Because
• 4:40
  if
• 4:40
  it's
• 4:40
  affected
• 4:41
  you
• 4:41
  that
• 4:41
  much,
• 4:42
  you
• 4:43
  got
• 4:43
  to
• 4:43
  talk
• 4:43
  about
• 4:43
  it.
• 4:44
  But
• 4:45
  instead
• 4:45
  of
• 4:45
  starting
• 4:45
  off
• 4:46
  with
• 4:46
  it,
• 4:46
  how
• 4:46
  could
• 4:47
  you
• 4:47
  do
• 4:47
  this?
• 4:49
  Try
• 4:50
  this.
• 4:52
  When
• 4:52
  I
• 4:52
  saw
• 4:53
  that
• 4:53
  purchase,
• 4:55
  I
• 4:55
  felt
• 4:55
  scared
• 4:56
  about
• 4:56
  our
• 4:56
  future.
• 4:58
  Do
• 4:59
  you
• 4:59
  see
• 4:59
  the
• 4:59
  difference
• 4:59
  there?
• 5:00
  It's
• 5:00
  subtle,
• 5:00
  but
• 5:01
  that
• 5:01
  first
• 5:01
  one
• 5:01
  attacks
• 5:02
  someone's
• 5:02
  character.
• 5:05
  How
• 5:05
  could
• 5:05
  you
• 5:05
  do
• 5:05
  this?
• 5:07
  But
• 5:07
  the
• 5:07
  other
• 5:07
  one
• 5:09
  turns
• 5:09
  it
• 5:09
  completely
• 5:10
  around,
• 5:10
  doesn't
• 5:10
  it?
• 5:10
  It
• 5:11
  expresses
• 5:12
  impact.
• 5:13
  This
• 5:14
  is
• 5:14
  how
• 5:14
  I
• 5:14
  felt.
• 5:15
  This
• 5:15
  is
• 5:15
  what
• 5:16
  that
• 5:16
  made
• 5:16
  me
• 5:16
  feel
• 5:17
  like.
• 5:18
  And
• 5:18
  if
• 5:18
  your
• 5:18
  goal
• 5:19
  is
• 5:19
  connection,
• 5:21
  that's
• 5:21
  the
• 5:21
  key.
• 5:21
  It's
• 5:22
  not
• 5:22
  about
• 5:22
  winning
• 5:22
  this
• 5:23
  battle.
• 5:23
  It's
• 5:23
  about
• 5:24
  being
• 5:24
  connected.
• 5:26
  So
• 5:26
  how
• 5:27
  do
• 5:27
  you
• 5:27
  stay
• 5:27
  connected
• 5:27
  once
• 5:28
  you've
• 5:28
  gotten
• 5:28
  you
• 5:29
  set
• 5:29
  some
• 5:29
  time
• 5:29
  aside,
• 5:30
  you've
• 5:30
  had
• 5:30
  that
• 5:30
  conversation.
• 5:31
  Here's
• 5:32
  a
• 5:32
  key
• 5:32
  takeaway.
• 5:33
  One
• 5:33
  of
• 5:33
  the
• 5:33
  things
• 5:33
  that
• 5:33
  I
• 5:34
  work
• 5:34
  with
• 5:34
  couples
• 5:34
  all
• 5:35
  the
• 5:35
  time.
• 5:35
  I
• 5:35
  build
• 5:35
  this
• 5:36
  into
• 5:36
  their
• 5:36
  model.
• 5:37
  Define
• 5:37
  a
• 5:38
  spending
• 5:38
  threshold
• 5:39
  together.
• 5:41
  Because
• 5:42
  here's
• 5:42
  what
• 5:42
  I've
• 5:42
  seen
• 5:43
  that
• 5:43
  trust.
• 5:45
  It
• 5:45
  erodes
• 5:46
  when
• 5:46
  expectations
• 5:47
  are
• 5:47
  unclear.
• 5:48
  If
• 5:49
  your
• 5:49
  partner
• 5:49
  doesn't
• 5:50
  know
• 5:50
  that
• 5:50
  you'd
• 5:50
  be
• 5:51
  upset
• 5:51
  about
• 5:51
  this,
• 5:52
  you
• 5:52
  can't
• 5:52
  really
• 5:52
  hold
• 5:52
  him
• 5:53
  accountable
• 5:53
  for
• 5:53
  that.
• 5:55
  You're
• 5:55
  just
• 5:55
  creating
• 5:56
  anxiety
• 5:56
  and
• 5:56
  anger.
• 5:57
  That
• 5:57
  doesn't
• 5:57
  need
• 5:58
  to
• 5:58
  exist.
• 5:59
  So
• 5:59
  set
• 5:59
  a
• 5:59
  number
• 6:01
  as
• 6:02
  a
• 6:02
  couple.
• 6:02
  Sit
• 6:03
  down
• 6:03
  and
• 6:03
  say,
• 6:03
  listen.
• 6:03
  Any
• 6:04
  purchase
• 6:04
  over
• 6:05
  X
• 6:05
  number
• 6:05
  of
• 6:06
  dollars.
• 6:07
  It
• 6:07
  depends
• 6:08
  on
• 6:08
  your
• 6:08
  situation.
• 6:09
  It
• 6:09
  depends
• 6:09
  on
• 6:10
  how
• 6:10
  you
• 6:10
  handle
• 6:10
  your
• 6:11
  finances.
• 6:11
  But
• 6:12
  any
• 6:12
  purchase
• 6:12
  over
• 6:13
  X
• 6:13
  requires
• 6:14
  a
• 6:14
  conversation
• 6:15
  first.
• 6:16
  Now,
• 6:16
  you
• 6:16
  notice
• 6:16
  I
• 6:17
  didn't
• 6:17
  say
• 6:17
  permission.
• 6:18
  I
• 6:19
  am
• 6:19
  not
• 6:19
  about
• 6:19
  controlling.
• 6:20
  I
• 6:20
  said
• 6:20
  a
• 6:21
  conversation.
• 6:22
  In
• 6:23
  the
• 6:23
  end,
• 6:23
  that
• 6:23
  person
• 6:24
  might
• 6:24
  make
• 6:24
  the
• 6:24
  decision
• 6:25
  to
• 6:25
  do
• 6:25
  what
• 6:25
  they
• 6:26
  were
• 6:26
  going
• 6:26
  to
• 6:26
  do,
• 6:28
  but
• 6:28
  you've
• 6:28
  made
• 6:28
  a
• 6:28
  commitment
• 6:29
  to
• 6:29
  each
• 6:29
  other
• 6:30
  that
• 6:30
  before
• 6:31
  you
• 6:31
  do
• 6:31
  that,
• 6:32
  there's
• 6:32
  going
• 6:32
  to
• 6:32
  be
• 6:32
  a
• 6:32
  conversation.
• 6:34
  And
• 6:34
  that
• 6:35
  simple
• 6:35
  boundary
• 6:36
  can
• 6:36
  protect
• 6:36
  that
• 6:36
  unity.
• 6:38
  Here's
• 6:39
  another
• 6:39
  idea.
• 6:40
  I
• 6:40
  love
• 6:40
  this
• 6:41
  one.
• 6:41
  Many
• 6:41
  of
• 6:41
  my
• 6:41
  clients
• 6:42
  do
• 6:42
  this
• 6:42
  create
• 6:43
  personal
• 6:43
  spending
• 6:44
  lanes.
• 6:45
  See,
• 6:46
  sometimes
• 6:46
  secret
• 6:47
  spending
• 6:47
  happens
• 6:48
  because
• 6:48
  someone
• 6:49
  feels
• 6:49
  controlled.
• 6:51
  I
• 6:51
  would
• 6:51
  willing
• 6:51
  be
• 6:51
  willing
• 6:52
  to
• 6:52
  bet
• 6:52
  that
• 6:52
  90%
• 6:53
  of
• 6:53
  the
• 6:53
  time
• 6:54
  that's
• 6:54
  what
• 6:54
  triggers
• 6:55
  this.
• 6:56
  So
• 6:56
  build
• 6:56
  this
• 6:57
  into
• 6:57
  the
• 6:57
  model.
• 6:57
  Build
• 6:58
  what
• 6:58
  I
• 6:58
  call
• 6:58
  margin.
• 6:59
  Here's
• 6:59
  what
• 6:59
  this
• 7:00
  looks
• 7:00
  like.
• 7:00
  Each
• 7:01
  partner
• 7:01
  gets
• 7:01
  a
• 7:02
  monthly
• 7:02
  spending
• 7:02
  amount
• 7:03
  that
• 7:03
  requires
• 7:04
  zero
• 7:04
  explanation.
• 7:06
  This
• 7:06
  is
• 7:06
  what
• 7:06
  you
• 7:06
  can
• 7:07
  spend.
• 7:07
  This
• 7:08
  is
• 7:08
  what
• 7:08
  I
• 7:08
  can
• 7:08
  spend.
• 7:09
  No
• 7:09
  guilt,
• 7:10
  no
• 7:11
  interrogation,
• 7:12
  just
• 7:13
  this
• 7:13
  is
• 7:13
  what
• 7:13
  you
• 7:13
  have
• 7:13
  to
• 7:13
  spend.
• 7:14
  I
• 7:15
  even
• 7:15
  encourage
• 7:15
  you
• 7:15
  to
• 7:15
  get
• 7:16
  a
• 7:16
  separate
• 7:16
  card
• 7:17
  or
• 7:17
  a
• 7:17
  separate
• 7:17
  account
• 7:18
  and
• 7:18
  you
• 7:18
  carve
• 7:19
  that
• 7:19
  out
• 7:19
  with
• 7:19
  your
• 7:20
  weekly
• 7:20
  pay
• 7:20
  or
• 7:20
  your
• 7:20
  bi
• 7:21
  weekly
• 7:21
  pay
• 7:21
  and
• 7:21
  say,
• 7:21
  listen,
• 7:22
  I'm
• 7:22
  not
• 7:22
  going
• 7:22
  to
• 7:22
  ask
• 7:22
  you
• 7:23
  about
• 7:23
  that.
• 7:23
  If
• 7:23
  you
• 7:23
  want
• 7:23
  to
• 7:24
  share,
• 7:24
  that's
• 7:24
  fine,
• 7:26
  but
• 7:26
  you
• 7:26
  don't
• 7:26
  have
• 7:26
  to.
• 7:27
  This
• 7:27
  is
• 7:27
  your
• 7:28
  freedom.
• 7:28
  And
• 7:28
  see,
• 7:28
  that
• 7:29
  freedom
• 7:30
  reduces
• 7:31
  that
• 7:31
  feeling
• 7:31
  of
• 7:31
  rebellion,
• 7:32
  that
• 7:32
  desire
• 7:32
  to
• 7:33
  want
• 7:33
  to
• 7:33
  hide
• 7:33
  things
• 7:33
  because
• 7:34
  they
• 7:34
  don't
• 7:34
  need
• 7:34
  to.
• 7:36
  But
• 7:36
  if
• 7:36
  your
• 7:37
  trust
• 7:37
  has
• 7:37
  been
• 7:37
  violated,
• 7:39
  maybe
• 7:39
  you've
• 7:39
  tried
• 7:40
  these
• 7:40
  things
• 7:40
  before
• 7:40
  and
• 7:41
  it
• 7:41
  just,
• 7:41
  this
• 7:42
  person
• 7:42
  just
• 7:42
  doesn't
• 7:43
  get
• 7:43
  it.
• 7:44
  The
• 7:45
  best
• 7:45
  way
• 7:45
  to
• 7:45
  build
• 7:45
  that
• 7:46
  trust
• 7:47
  is
• 7:47
  through
• 7:47
  transparency.
• 7:50
  Because
• 7:50
  trust
• 7:50
  is
• 7:51
  never
• 7:51
  going
• 7:51
  to
• 7:51
  rebuild
• 7:52
  through
• 7:52
  promises.
• 7:52
  How
• 7:53
  many
• 7:53
  times
• 7:53
  have
• 7:53
  we
• 7:53
  heard,
• 7:54
  oh,
• 7:54
  I'll
• 7:54
  never
• 7:54
  do
• 7:54
  that
• 7:55
  again,
• 7:56
  Oh,
• 7:56
  I
• 7:56
  understand
• 7:56
  how
• 7:57
  you
• 7:57
  feel
• 7:57
  about
• 7:57
  that.
• 7:57
  I'm
• 7:58
  so
• 7:58
  sorry.
• 8:00
  That
• 8:00
  sounds
• 8:00
  good,
• 8:01
  but
• 8:02
  it
• 8:02
  doesn't
• 8:02
  mean
• 8:02
  much,
• 8:03
  does
• 8:03
  it?
• 8:04
  But
• 8:04
  trust
• 8:05
  is
• 8:05
  rebuilt
• 8:05
  through
• 8:06
  visibility.
• 8:07
  When
• 8:07
  you
• 8:07
  can
• 8:07
  see
• 8:08
  what's
• 8:08
  going
• 8:08
  on.
• 8:09
  Here's
• 8:09
  some
• 8:09
  things
• 8:10
  to
• 8:10
  consider.
• 8:11
  Maybe
• 8:11
  share
• 8:12
  the
• 8:12
  access
• 8:12
  to
• 8:12
  all
• 8:13
  the
• 8:13
  accounts
• 8:13
  so
• 8:13
  there's
• 8:14
  no
• 8:14
  question
• 8:14
  marks
• 8:15
  and
• 8:15
  actually
• 8:15
  encourage
• 8:16
  them.
• 8:16
  I
• 8:16
  want
• 8:17
  you
• 8:17
  to
• 8:17
  go
• 8:17
  look
• 8:17
  at
• 8:17
  the
• 8:17
  bank
• 8:17
  account,
• 8:18
  I
• 8:18
  want
• 8:18
  you
• 8:18
  to
• 8:19
  go
• 8:19
  look
• 8:19
  at
• 8:19
  the
• 8:19
  credit
• 8:20
  card
• 8:20
  statement.
• 8:22
  Transparency,
• 8:23
  complete
• 8:23
  transparency.
• 8:25
  Maybe
• 8:25
  you
• 8:26
  add
• 8:26
  that
• 8:26
  weekly
• 8:26
  15
• 8:27
  minute
• 8:27
  check
• 8:27
  in.
• 8:27
  I
• 8:28
  think
• 8:28
  that's
• 8:28
  a
• 8:28
  great
• 8:28
  thing
• 8:28
  for
• 8:29
  couples
• 8:29
  to
• 8:29
  do.
• 8:29
  Anyway,
• 8:30
  talk
• 8:30
  about
• 8:30
  what
• 8:31
  came
• 8:31
  in
• 8:31
  this
• 8:31
  week,
• 8:32
  talk
• 8:32
  about
• 8:32
  what
• 8:32
  went
• 8:33
  out
• 8:33
  this
• 8:33
  week,
• 8:33
  what
• 8:33
  the
• 8:33
  expectations
• 8:34
  are,
• 8:35
  any
• 8:35
  feelings.
• 8:37
  I
• 8:37
  love
• 8:37
  the
• 8:37
  idea
• 8:37
  of
• 8:38
  a
• 8:38
  shared
• 8:38
  budget
• 8:38
  dashboard.
• 8:39
  There's
• 8:39
  some
• 8:39
  great
• 8:40
  apps
• 8:40
  out
• 8:40
  there
• 8:40
  that
• 8:41
  you
• 8:41
  can
• 8:41
  do
• 8:41
  that.
• 8:43
  And
• 8:43
  what
• 8:43
  I'm
• 8:43
  going
• 8:44
  to
• 8:44
  tell
• 8:44
  you
• 8:44
  is
• 8:44
  that
• 8:44
  small,
• 8:45
  consistent
• 8:46
  transparency
• 8:47
  is
• 8:47
  going
• 8:47
  to
• 8:48
  first
• 8:48
  restore
• 8:48
  safety
• 8:50
  and
• 8:50
  then
• 8:50
  it's
• 8:51
  going
• 8:51
  to
• 8:51
  rebuild
• 8:51
  trust
• 8:52
  and
• 8:52
  it's
• 8:52
  going
• 8:52
  to
• 8:52
  restore
• 8:53
  that
• 8:53
  partnership.
• 8:55
  Because
• 8:55
  here's
• 8:56
  the
• 8:56
  thing
• 8:56
  I
• 8:56
  want
• 8:56
  you
• 8:56
  to
• 8:56
  hear
• 8:57
  and
• 8:57
  I
• 8:57
  want
• 8:57
  you
• 8:57
  to
• 8:57
  hear
• 8:57
  this
• 8:58
  loud
• 8:58
  and
• 8:58
  clear.
• 8:58
  You're
• 8:59
  not
• 8:59
  enemies,
• 9:01
  you're
• 9:01
  on
• 9:02
  the
• 9:02
  same
• 9:02
  team,
• 9:03
  but
• 9:04
  you've
• 9:04
  got
• 9:04
  a
• 9:04
  point
• 9:04
  where
• 9:05
  you
• 9:05
  got
• 9:05
  to
• 9:05
  start
• 9:05
  rebuilding.
• 9:07
  So
• 9:07
  here's
• 9:08
  my
• 9:08
  win
• 9:08
  for
• 9:08
  you
• 9:08
  for
• 9:08
  today.
• 9:09
  Just
• 9:09
  one
• 9:09
  single
• 9:10
  thing
• 9:10
  that
• 9:10
  you
• 9:10
  can
• 9:10
  do.
• 9:11
  I
• 9:11
  want
• 9:11
  you
• 9:11
  to
• 9:11
  schedule
• 9:12
  a
• 9:12
  calm,
• 9:13
  preplanned
• 9:14
  conversation.
• 9:15
  Very
• 9:15
  important.
• 9:15
  Those
• 9:16
  two
• 9:16
  words
• 9:16
  are
• 9:17
  super
• 9:17
  important.
• 9:17
  It's
• 9:17
  gotta
• 9:18
  be
• 9:18
  calm
• 9:19
  and
• 9:19
  it's
• 9:19
  gotta
• 9:19
  be
• 9:20
  pre
• 9:20
  planned.
• 9:21
  As
• 9:21
  a
• 9:21
  matter
• 9:21
  of
• 9:21
  fact,
• 9:22
  week
• 9:22
  or
• 9:22
  so
• 9:22
  ago
• 9:23
  we
• 9:23
  put
• 9:23
  together
• 9:23
  this
• 9:24
  thing
• 9:24
  we
• 9:24
  call
• 9:24
  a
• 9:24
  huddle
• 9:25
  deck.
• 9:25
  It's
• 9:26
  a
• 9:26
  great
• 9:26
  thing
• 9:26
  to
• 9:26
  use
• 9:27
  right
• 9:27
  here
• 9:27
  and
• 9:27
  you
• 9:28
  can
• 9:28
  get
• 9:28
  that
• 9:28
  in
• 9:28
  our
• 9:28
  community.
• 9:29
  I'll
• 9:29
  talk
• 9:29
  to
• 9:29
  you
• 9:29
  in
• 9:30
  a
• 9:30
  minute
• 9:30
  about
• 9:30
  how
• 9:30
  to
• 9:30
  get
• 9:30
  to
• 9:30
  our
• 9:31
  community,
• 9:32
  but
• 9:32
  do
• 9:32
  that,
• 9:33
  get
• 9:33
  into
• 9:33
  that
• 9:33
  huddle
• 9:34
  deck.
• 9:34
  This
• 9:35
  is
• 9:35
  not
• 9:35
  the
• 9:35
  thing
• 9:35
  to
• 9:35
  have
• 9:36
  at
• 9:36
  bedtime.
• 9:37
  It's
• 9:37
  not
• 9:37
  the
• 9:37
  thing
• 9:38
  to
• 9:38
  do
• 9:38
  in
• 9:38
  the
• 9:38
  heat
• 9:38
  of
• 9:38
  emotion.
• 9:40
  But
• 9:40
  start
• 9:41
  with
• 9:41
  this
• 9:41
  sentence.
• 9:41
  This
• 9:42
  will
• 9:42
  completely
• 9:43
  stop
• 9:43
  the
• 9:43
  fire.
• 9:44
  Just
• 9:44
  say
• 9:44
  this.
• 9:45
  I
• 9:45
  don't
• 9:45
  want
• 9:45
  to
• 9:45
  fight.
• 9:46
  I
• 9:47
  just
• 9:47
  want
• 9:47
  us
• 9:47
  to
• 9:48
  feel
• 9:48
  secured
• 9:48
  together.
• 9:50
  How
• 9:50
  does
• 9:50
  that
• 9:51
  feel
• 9:51
  to
• 9:51
  you?
• 9:52
  Well,
• 9:52
  let's
• 9:53
  get
• 9:53
  to
• 9:53
  our
• 9:53
  Bible
• 9:53
  verse.
• 9:54
  It
• 9:54
  comes
• 9:55
  to
• 9:55
  us
• 9:55
  from
• 9:55
  the
• 9:55
  book
• 9:55
  of
• 9:55
  Ephesians,
• 9:56
  chapter
• 9:57
  4,
• 9:57
  verses
• 9:58
  2
• 9:58
  and
• 9:58
  3.
• 9:59
  Be
• 10:00
  completely
• 10:00
  humble
• 10:01
  and
• 10:01
  gentle.
• 10:02
  Be
• 10:03
  patient
• 10:04
  bearing
• 10:05
  with
• 10:05
  one
• 10:05
  another
• 10:05
  in
• 10:06
  love.
• 10:07
  Make
• 10:07
  every
• 10:08
  effort
• 10:08
  to
• 10:08
  keep
• 10:09
  the
• 10:09
  unity
• 10:09
  of
• 10:10
  the
• 10:10
  spirit
• 10:10
  through
• 10:11
  the
• 10:11
  bond
• 10:11
  of
• 10:12
  peace.
• 10:14
  I
• 10:14
  can't
• 10:14
  say
• 10:15
  any
• 10:15
  better
• 10:15
  than
• 10:15
  Scripture
• 10:16
  does,
• 10:17
  but
• 10:18
  what
• 10:18
  is
• 10:18
  it
• 10:18
  telling
• 10:18
  us?
• 10:19
  It
• 10:20
  tells
• 10:20
  us
• 10:20
  that
• 10:20
  financial
• 10:21
  unity
• 10:22
  requires
• 10:22
  humility,
• 10:24
  it
• 10:24
  requires
• 10:24
  patience,
• 10:26
  and
• 10:26
  it
• 10:26
  requires
• 10:27
  intentional
• 10:28
  peace,
• 10:29
  not
• 10:30
  pride
• 10:31
  and
• 10:31
  certainly
• 10:32
  not
• 10:32
  reaction.
• 10:34
  Pray
• 10:34
  together,
• 10:36
  Father
• 10:36
  God,
• 10:38
  you
• 10:38
  see
• 10:38
  the
• 10:39
  hurt?
• 10:40
  You
• 10:40
  see
• 10:40
  that
• 10:41
  fear
• 10:41
  underneath
• 10:42
  the
• 10:42
  frustration.
• 10:44
  And
• 10:44
  Lord,
• 10:45
  I
• 10:45
  pray
• 10:45
  for
• 10:45
  peace
• 10:45
  in
• 10:46
  this
• 10:46
  home
• 10:46
  and
• 10:46
  all
• 10:46
  the
• 10:47
  other
• 10:47
  homes
• 10:47
  of
• 10:47
  people
• 10:48
  listening
• 10:48
  and
• 10:48
  watching
• 10:49
  right
• 10:49
  now.
• 10:50
  I
• 10:51
  just
• 10:51
  ask
• 10:51
  that
• 10:51
  you
• 10:52
  would
• 10:52
  guard
• 10:52
  their
• 10:52
  words,
• 10:53
  Lord,
• 10:54
  guard
• 10:54
  their
• 10:54
  tone.
• 10:55
  And
• 10:55
  Lord,
• 10:55
  guard
• 10:55
  their
• 10:56
  hearts.
• 10:57
  And
• 10:58
  give
• 10:58
  them
• 10:58
  humility
• 10:59
  instead
• 11:00
  of
• 11:00
  pride
• 11:01
  and
• 11:01
  gentleness
• 11:02
  instead
• 11:02
  of
• 11:03
  sharpness
• 11:04
  and
• 11:05
  understanding
• 11:06
  instead
• 11:06
  of
• 11:07
  assumption.
• 11:08
  And
• 11:09
  Lord,
• 11:09
  I
• 11:09
  just
• 11:09
  ask
• 11:09
  that
• 11:10
  you
• 11:10
  would
• 11:10
  help
• 11:10
  them
• 11:10
  to
• 11:10
  rebuild
• 11:11
  that
• 11:11
  trust.
• 11:11
  And
• 11:12
  it's
• 11:12
  not
• 11:12
  just
• 11:12
  a
• 11:13
  financial
• 11:13
  trust,
• 11:14
  but
• 11:14
  a
• 11:14
  trust
• 11:14
  of
• 11:15
  emotionally
• 11:15
  and
• 11:16
  spiritually.
• 11:18
  Remind
• 11:18
  them
• 11:19
  they
• 11:19
  are
• 11:19
  on
• 11:19
  the
• 11:20
  same
• 11:20
  team,
• 11:20
  Lord,
• 11:22
  and
• 11:22
  bind
• 11:22
  them
• 11:22
  together
• 11:23
  in
• 11:23
  unity
• 11:23
  and
• 11:24
  peace.
• 11:25
  And
• 11:26
  we
• 11:26
  ask
• 11:26
  this
• 11:26
  in
• 11:26
  Jesus
• 11:27
  name.
• 11:28
  Amen,
• 11:31
  friend.
• 11:32
  Conflict
• 11:32
  handled
• 11:33
  with
• 11:33
  grace
• 11:34
  can
• 11:34
  actually
• 11:35
  strengthen
• 11:35
  your
• 11:36
  marriage.
• 11:36
  And
• 11:37
  I
• 11:37
  mentioned
• 11:37
  earlier,
• 11:38
  I
• 11:38
  want
• 11:38
  to
• 11:38
  tell
• 11:38
  you
• 11:38
  how
• 11:38
  to
• 11:38
  get
• 11:39
  our
• 11:39
  huddle
• 11:40
  deck.
• 11:40
  Go
• 11:40
  to
• 11:41
  financiallyconfidentchristian.com/join.
• 11:44
  We'll
• 11:45
  put
• 11:45
  that
• 11:45
  in
• 11:45
  the
• 11:45
  show
• 11:45
  notes.
• 11:46
  Again,
• 11:46
  that's
• 11:47
  financiallyconfidentchristian.com/Join.
• 11:50
  That's
• 11:50
  where
• 11:50
  you
• 11:50
  can
• 11:50
  join
• 11:51
  our
• 11:51
  community.
• 11:52
  So
• 11:52
  thank
• 11:52
  you
• 11:52
  so
• 11:53
  much
• 11:53
  for
• 11:53
  joining
• 11:53
  me
• 11:53
  today.
• 11:54
  I
• 11:54
  want
• 11:54
  to
• 11:54
  encourage
• 11:55
  you
• 11:55
  to
• 11:55
  stay
• 11:55
  financially
• 11:56
  savvy.
• 11:57
  May
• 11:57
  God
• 11:57
  bless
• 11:57
  you
• 11:58
  and
• 11:58
  you
• 11:58
  have
• 11:58
  a
• 11:59
  great
• 11:59
  day
• 11:59
  today.