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Inner Child Hypnosis for a Fear of Abandonment · The Hypnotist

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Welcome to The Hypnotist, the show that gives you inside
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access to cutting edge hypnosis with real clients facing genuine
0:07
issues. Brought to you by the
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hypnotherapist, demanded by celebrities, CEOs and even
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royalty. Adam Cox.
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These recordings took place live from Adam's clinic in London's
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world famous Harley Street. This podcast features powerful
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hypnosis, so do not listen while driving or operating machinery.
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This recording is not suitable for those with epilepsy or
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severe mental health issues, so get yourself comfortable and
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enjoy today's episode of The Hypnotist.
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Hi, it's Adam here. And in this session of the
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Hypnotist, you're going to be listening to a hypnosis session
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all about the fear of abandonment.
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And I was working with a client that as a child felt that they
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were abandoned twice, one at the age of around about 6, the other
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at the age of about 14. And in both cases, it wasn't
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abandonment, it was a bereavement.
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But to a child, it can feel that way.
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It can feel like, why did they leave me?
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How could they leave me? Rather than.
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How an adult might look at these things as.
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A natural. Part of life, and I think that
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comes from the vulnerability and dependency of a child.
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If the person that dies is your. Source of love?
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Attention, learning, protection, security and they go.
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That could feel like a very vulnerable place in a very
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emotionally devastating place, in which case the unconscious
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mind can go to great lengths to try and protect from that level
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of emotional pain. And what some people do when
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they feel that they were abandoned is to not let people
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get too close, keep people at a distance.
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Some people can wear a bit of a mask so that people don't really
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get to know the real them. That's a way.
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Of protecting some people will sabotage friendships and
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relationships because if they feel that they develop too much
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then it could be more painful if that friendship or relationship
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ends so self sabotage can be one of these coping strategies
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There's many different things but it really comes down from a
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deep fear of either abandonment or rejection, which is a cousin
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of abandonment and. Sometimes you get.
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These these strange cycles where the intention is good in the
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sense that this unconscious part really wants to protect from
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pain, but in doing so quite often can either miss out on the
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true thing that it really wants, which quite often is.
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Love or connection? So it never really gets the the
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real thing, it's just accepting a a substitute that feels safe.
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Or you get this element of a never ending cycle where things
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happen. It's almost like a moth to the
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flame analogy. Something feels really
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desirable. They get closer and then the
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moment they get close, they then sabotage that thing because it
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feels too dangerous. And then of course, there's that
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inner need that desires that thing.
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Whether it's love. Or connection that would be the
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the flame to the moth but they get too close.
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And then either. It feels too painful and they
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back away or they sabotage it to destructive and it's a case of
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jumping from the boat so that they're not pushed and all of
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these dynamics are going on and they come from a really good
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place. But from that good place, very
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painful things can happen. And this particular client had
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very extreme levels of anxiety because they considered what
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they really wanted, which was love.
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And then that part that was protecting them and, and felt
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like love equals risk, then created the anxiety to deter
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that possibility from happening. So if you have this feeling of
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self sabotage or fear of abandonment, or you feel that if
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you never let people too close or you sabotage things if
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they're going good just in case they go bad, you might be able
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to connect with. This it does.
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Involve timeline therapy and and going back to the.
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Point where? Some of these beliefs were
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created, it has an element of inner child work, and some of
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the references would have been ideal for the client and not
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quite right for you. So I would encourage you to
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ignore any suggestions that don't quite fit your
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circumstances except the ones that do.
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And if you like the idea of a bespoke session rather than this
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recording that was done for someone else, there will be a
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link in the description where you can schedule a free
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consultation call to explore working with me.
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For now though, find a quiet, comfortable place where you
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won't be disturbed. Relax and enjoy the session.
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Take a deep breath in and as you breathe out, just allow your
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eyelids to close. With your eyes closed, just give
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permission to release, to release that feeling of tension
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that you've been holding onto, to allow any feelings of anxiety
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and worry to feel like it's melting away and leaving your
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body in your outward breath. Each breath can be slightly
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deeper than the last, and as you exhale, that's it.
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Feel that wonderful sense of release.
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Maybe you can scan your body. Pretty clues of tension maybe
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around your jaw, your forehead, neck or shoulders as you breathe
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in that resourceful feeling of calm and relaxation.
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That's it. Just allow it to be released, to
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let go, breath by breath. Just releasing then stored up
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tension that you've been holding onto.
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And I want you to feel that it's safe.
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It's safe to relax, safe to let go.
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And everything you've been through has been coming from a
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good place, a place of protection, a place of keeping
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you safe. And everybody knows at least one
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person with their hearts in the right place.
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But sometimes when they try and make things better, it has
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unintended consequences. And I want you to think that way
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about a part within you, perhaps an inner child, a protective
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part that all it's ever wanted was to keep you safe from being
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hurt, abandoned or left. But what if that part trying to
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protect you is preventing you from having the thing that would
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equate to true happiness or fulfilment?
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For some people, what feels like a fortress becomes a prison, the
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thing that keeps you safe, keeps you trapped to breathe in that
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relaxation, exhale, that tension.
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That's it. And as your body relaxes, you
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can breathe even deeper. And the deeper you breathe, the
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more relaxed you become. And as your body relaxes, your
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imagination awakens. And I want you to imagine that
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you keep your physical body exactly where it is, but your
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imagination can go all the way back.
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I want you to imagine floating back through time at your
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current age, keeping your physical body there, and
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floating all the way back to perhaps when you were maybe five
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years old. And I want you to go back and
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just see yourself with your grandmother.
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I want you to see that innocent, vulnerable, impressionable child
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receiving the thing that you valued more than anything else
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back then, love. And I want you to imagine you're
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just this invisible entity watching that version of you,
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just five years old, receiving all of that love from your
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grandmother. And I want you to wait until
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that five year old version of you it's just playing or
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relaxing alone. And I want you to imagine how it
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would feel to no longer be invisible and say hello to that
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little 5 year old. And I want you to do something
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fun. I want you to convince this five
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year old that you are them from the future.
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And I want you to do that by telling them a secret that only
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they know. That's it.
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And once you've convinced that five year old that you are them
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from the future, just let me know by nodding your head.
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That's it. And I want you to tell them that
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they are worthy, they are valuable, they are loved because
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you are them and they are you. And I want you to tell them
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something difficult for a 5 year old to hear.
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I want you to tell that five year old then.
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Life and death is natural and if someone dies doesn't represent
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abandonment, doesn't mean that person's left, even though it
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feels that way. And I want you to tell this
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child that even if the person that they love the most and who
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loves them goes away because they're older, maybe has a
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disease, that doesn't mean they're being left.
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And I want you to tell this five year old that no matter what
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happens in the future, you will always be there for them.
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Always be there. Never go and give that little 5
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year old a hug, A real hug, full of warmth and love.
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They've been protecting you, but you need to protect them now.
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And I want you to go forwards in time, holding their hand to the
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moment just before their grandmother's passing.
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And I want you to tell them this is nature.
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It can be sad, but it does not represent abandonment.
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This is not them leaving this five, this 6 year old.
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It's it's them experiencing what happens to everyone.
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But even though that person they loved is no longer there, you
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are there for them. Tell them that they are worthy
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of love. Tell them that they deserve
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love. Tell them that the only thing
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that can impede real love is fear.
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And if they're afraid, love becomes elusive.
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But if they are courageous and vulnerable, it opens the door to
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love. And I want you to give a
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resource to that 6 year old something they need.
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And it isn't courage or confidence.
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I want you to give them a glowing ball of energy called
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self love. Give it whatever colour feels
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appropriate and pass it from them, from you to them and and
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see them. Hold it in their little hands
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and hold it up to their heart and the love that they used to
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get from their grandmother. They are now able to give that
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love to themselves. And I want you to feel that that
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6 year old now is giving you something that you need.
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Vulnerability. 6 year olds are vulnerable.
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But imagine that 6 year old is giving you a glowing ball of
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energy that represents that vulnerability.
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All this time you've been trying to keep yourself safe by being
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strong, by avoiding that thing that feels scary.
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But what if that vulnerability is what's needed to create a
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level of connection that is real love, not a substitute for it?
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You've given self love to that child, and they've given
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vulnerability to you. And I want you to give that
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child a hug and tell them that you will see them soon.
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And then I want you to go forwards in time, perhaps just a
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few days or maybe a week before your mother's passing.
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You're not seeing a six year old, you're seeing a 14 year
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old. And when they see you, they
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smile. They're happy you're there and
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you're happy to see them. And I want you to fill them with
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compliments. Tell them how smart they are,
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how capable they are, how beautiful they are.
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Give all of that love to that 14 year old version of you and just
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feel. Feel that connection.
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Feel all of that love flowing from you to them and them to
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you. That's it.
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And just tell them that in a a few days from now, their mother
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will pass. And this isn't an abandonment.
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This isn't them leaving you. It's a consequence of choices
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made and the health ripple effects of choices, good or bad.
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And once you've reassured that younger version of you that what
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will happen may feel sad, but it is not abandonment, just let me
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know about nodding your head, hold their hand.
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And then be there at that moment, that time when your
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mother passes. And I want you to be the love
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and the constant for that child. And I want you to tell them
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something wise. I want you to tell them that you
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can't pour from an empty cup. That if they desire love, it
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starts with self love. They can't look to others for
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love, they nurture it within themselves.
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And when they are abundant in love, they've got plenty to
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give. And when they give, it finds its
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way back to them. And when that 14 year old really
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understands that, I want you to give them a hug and feel that
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acceptance, that self love flowing from you to them and
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them to you. I want you to get a sense that
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you are healing an inner child. And an unhealed inner child will
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try and protect you, but now you are protecting the inner child.
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And you don't protect the inner child through control or self
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sabotage. You protect the inner child
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through resilience. Those that are afraid of being
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abandoned or left may sabotage your relationship before it can
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flourish. They might seek validation or
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passion or obsession rather than something real.
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Nobody can have a guarantee of love.
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That's what makes it real love. It carries a risk.
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And I want you to imagine going forwards in time, seeing how
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that healed in a child would have done things differently.
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I want you to see if maybe things that gave them anxiety
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didn't do so much. If they needed that love from a
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sibling or a partner, maybe it's because they didn't feel it
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within themselves. A flower that is wilted would do
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anything for sunshine and rainwater, but a flower with all
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of those things can want the sunshine and rainwater, but not
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needed. Not be afraid of losing it.
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And I want you to feel that you are wiser now.
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The things that have happened have been a rational response to
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feelings of overwhelming loss as a child.
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But what if now self love and vulnerability mean that your
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whole nervous system can calm down?
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You don't need guarantees of love.
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Anyone that needs a guarantee will find something that is a
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substitute. I want you to get a sense that
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you're not interested in a substitute, otherwise you
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wouldn't have tried to manifest something real.
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I want you to get a sense that now, now you feel that you are
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safe to pursue what is really desirable.
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And over the next few days and weeks, new thoughts will pop
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into your mind, new ways of evaluating things.
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Any anxiety is now just echoes. The real clues will be intuitive
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thoughts about what you really want.
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Not guarantees, but something real.
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And something real can't be guaranteed.
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And if your unconscious mind is open to new beliefs, new ideas,
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new ways of thinking about what you truly desire, let me know by
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nodding your head. That's it.
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And I want you to visit that inner child one more time around
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the age of 20, just before a panic attack where they started
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to feel like they had the things they really wanted.
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And I want you to remind that younger version of you, what
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they really want, they can provide from within.
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I want you to get a sense that that version of them.
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Tell them they are worthy, they deserve good things.
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And when they accept that, let me know by nodding your head and
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give that 20 year old a hug. Tell them they're loved, tell
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them they're worthy, they're valuable.
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Tell them all the things you needed to hear when you were
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that age. And I want you to feel that this
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inner child that was doing everything to protect you now
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feels that have a new way of protecting you, not through fear
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of losing something that you value, but by giving you the
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self love you've always craved. And connect with that Now.
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Connect with that self love and every do, every time you do
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something nice for yourself, you're giving yourself that
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thing that you value. And you can go back to this in a
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child at any age, at any time. But for now, it's time to return
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to the present but feeling like something has changed.
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Something that means that that state of hyper vigilance is no
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longer needed as you've healed a relationship with a part of
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yourself to take a deep breath in through your nose and out
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through your nose. Just wiggle your fingers and
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wiggle your toes. Connect and calibrate into the
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here and the now. That's it as I now count from
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1:00 to 10:00 to awaken. But the part that awakens is
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that healed part, that calm part.
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The part that feels that the future you really desire is now
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possible. Starting to count. 123 Waking
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up. 456 More alert. 7-8 Open your eyes.
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Open your eyes and sit. 910 wide awake, wide awake, wide awake.
27:08
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